1. the old-schooler
you want to trip?
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2. I'll bring it to you
Frylock, and I'm on top
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3. rock you like a cop
Meatwad, you up next
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4. with your knock-knock
Meatwad make the money, see
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5. Meatwad get the honeys, G.
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6. Drivin' in my car
livin' like a star
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7. ice on my fingers and my toes
and I'm a Taurus
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8. uh, check, check it, yeah
'cause we are the Aqua Teens
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9. make the homeys say ho
and the girlies want to scream
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10. 'cause we are the Aqua Teens
make the homeys say ho
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11. and the girlies want to scream ♪
Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
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12. Number one in the hood, G.
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13. Hello.
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14. Hello?
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15. Hello.
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16. Hello?
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17. Hello.
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18. Hello?
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19. Hello.
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20. Hello.
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21. I'm here.
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22. Oh, Ok. Hey, man.
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23. How's it going?
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24. You know what time it is?
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25. Do you?
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26. Because it's 4:20 somewhere.
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27. I know that.
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28. Ain't that the phrase?
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29. Are you drunk?
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30. Mm-hmm.
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31. Give me that phone!
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32. Look, before I start speaking,
don't even think about
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33. getting angry because if you do,
I swear that I will
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34. hang up on you.
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35. Shake, what is it?
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36. What's wrong?
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37. Ok, you're jumping in
already. Ok.
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38. We got into a little bit
of trouble.
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39. Tell him nothing's wrong.
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40. But let me preface by saying
we were framed.
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41. What?
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42. We were just the guys
that happened to be there.
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43. We were framed!
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44. It was a total setup.
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45. All right, what was a setup?
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46. Wow. Now, why would I talk
to someone who speaks to me
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47. in that tone?
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48. Will you just tell me
what it is you did wrong?
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49. Oh, what? You think
you do everything right?
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50. Ok. I see what's
happening here—you got
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51. another DUI, didn't you?
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52. Hang up on his ass.
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53. I'm going to have to
bus down there, Ok?
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54. I'm going to have to take
the bus from now on permanently,
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55. according to what
some guy told me, and I ain't
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56. riding that cheese box!
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57. It's a major deterrent
for the women.
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58. Women will not kiss you
on the bus.
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59. Ok, look. This is
going to take me a while.
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60. Hang up on him.
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61. Hey, fry man,
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62. I got this post-it note that was
left on the curb for me.
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63. "Thanks for car. M.S."
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64. Aw, man.
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65. I'm sure it'll be back.
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66. You think?
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67. That would be so thoughtful.
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68. Hey, uh... You...
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69. You like football, right?
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70. You're a big football man.
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71. No. Actually, I don't
like sports in general.
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72. But, I mean, you like
jerseys, right?
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73. 'Cause I got some Giants-wear.
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74. Super-cheap, too.
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75. Active-wear. It's for
the total, ultimate fan.
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76. Check it out.
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77. Carl, I really don't—
bad! Don't worry
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78. about this rip.
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79. I just accidentally ripped it
pulling it out of the box.
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80. Are the gnats a team?
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81. No. Gnats? What the fan?
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82. It's supposed to be the Giants!
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83. I friggin' told them immigrants!
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84. No wonder they cut me a deal.
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85. What a deal!
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86. They probably don't even have
giants in their country,
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87. they're so friggin' tiny.
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88. Look at this crap.
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89. Half of them dissolved
in the box.
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90. Well, you know what they say.
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91. You get what you pay for.
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92. I'll tell you what.
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93. How about I take 20% off?
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94. How about no?
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95. Oh, come on, man. I seen you
flying around so fast,
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96. people won't even notice.
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97. Right? High five, football fan.
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98. I really don't like
sports, Carl.
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99. Oh, yeah? Well, you're a fag!
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100. Look, it's the third house
on the right.
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101. Just... feel free to crash there.
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102. I'm going to go on in here
and take me a poop.
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103. Yeah.
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104. That would be cool, man.
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105. That would be cool.
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106. There's a big computer
in there. You like the Internet?
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107. Use all you want.
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108. My pants are all wet.
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109. Oh, very important—
security code.
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110. We ain't got none.
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111. So just go right in.
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112. My pants is stuck to my butt.
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113. When is Frylock getting here?
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114. I don't know,
but I'm pissed about it.
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115. Get up, Carl.
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116. Wh-wh-what?
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117. You're Bart oates, the center
for the Super Bowl giants!
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118. '87 and '91!
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119. The g-men! Yeah!
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120. Take the TV. Take whatever
you need to get by.
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121. What are you talking about?
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122. I don't need your money, Carl.
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123. Let me tell you.
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124. January 27, 1991...
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125. Best friggin' day of my life.
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126. Norwood missing wide.
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127. Friggin' tuna coaching
on the sideline.
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128. You, like... Hiking the ball.
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129. You know? Did you
come here to kill me?
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130. No, Carl.
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131. Oh, that's so great.
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132. The gnats?
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133. What is this, Carl?
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134. Oh, that? It's, uh...
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135. Well, it's just a...
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136. It's a tribute to your majesty.
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137. Carl, by doing this,
you're taking food out
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138. of NFL players' mouths.
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139. I'm so sorry, Bart.
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140. But, dude, I followed your whole
pro-bowl season in '90.
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141. You had a sack-prevented index.
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142. It's, like, point-9.
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143. It's ridiculous!
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144. Your blocking ratio was 4 to 1.
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145. You were playing out of your
mind that season!
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146. And then 1994.
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147. You friggin' signed
with the Niners.
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148. You broke my friggin' heart,
Bart. You pancaked it!
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149. I was there when you
destroyed my poster.
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150. And you said, "I hope
he gets injured."
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151. Enjoy San Francisco, pansy.
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152. I hope you tear
your ACL., Jack-ass!
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153. I said that?
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154. 3 years later,
I had knee surgery,
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155. and I had to retire, Carl.
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156. So I made you have, like,
knee surgery by saying that?
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157. In a way, yes, you did.
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158. That's awesome.
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159. I mean, I'm sorry in retrospect,
but that's so awesome
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160. I was able to do that.
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161. I hate the Niners!
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162. So, Carl, I want you to do
something for me.
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163. You want some gnats T-shirts
for your family?
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164. I'll cut you a deal.
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165. We'll go 40% off on those.
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166. Hey, Carl, do you want
to be a winner?
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167. You got to lay off
the salty foods.
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168. Don't drink so much.
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169. Try some exercise.
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170. Maybe go out with a woman
you didn't have to pay.
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171. You know, sex isn't everything.
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172. Neither is the band Boston.
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173. If you want to be a champ,
you got to pay the price, man.
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174. You got to go all the way.
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175. Listen to what I'm
telling you, Carl.
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176. Listen to what I'm telling you.
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177. Wait, Bart oates. Wait.
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178. I got so many more stats
I want to throw at you.
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179. He's gone.
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180. I'm so hung-over.
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181. Did you see me pounding those
daiquiris at the bar last night?
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182. I was a maniac!
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183. What was I thinking?
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184. You pounded one.
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185. Well, I pound
what I can afford.
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186. Hey, my man over here,
he wants a daiquiri now.
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187. He says I got to smuggle
one back in, up my butt hole.
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188. Oh. Fresh or the mix?
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189. Fresh.
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190. Oh, god. That would
be so cold.
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191. One.
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192. All right. Take a break.
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193. Whoa. You just burned
a third of a gram of fat, man.
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194. That's good, right.
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195. Yeah, that's good.
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196. Not good enough.
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197. You need to do more laps.
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198. And try not touching the bottom
of the pool so much.
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199. How did you know?
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200. Carl, I know everything.
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201. Hey, Carl, what's up?
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202. Oh, crap. Hide.
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203. Hide? From what?
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204. From, uh...
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205. Just play it off as a joke.
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206. From, uh... You know...
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207. Black people have been
running around here.
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208. That's not really
a joke, Carl.
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209. Come on, man. I'm trying.
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210. Ok, Carl, look. I felt
really bad about your car,
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211. so I brought you some fresh
parsley and oregano
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212. from my herb garden.
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213. Oh, great. Weeds.
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214. This will help me get
to the strip club.
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215. Where's my friggin' car?
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216. Well, it's kind of
been impounded.
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217. What? You tell me right now,
fry man, where my friggin'
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218. car is, or I'm gonna rip that
paper-box head of yours in half!
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219. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, Carl.
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220. You don't want a penalty
for roughing the neighbor.
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221. I mean, that's 15 yards,
and that hurts the team.
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222. Whoa, whoa. Hey, Carl.
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223. It's Ok. It's Ok.
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224. I'm not mad. Ok?
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225. So, where's my effing car?
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226. Please, sir.
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227. Carl. Well, well, well.
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228. Look who's off to the slammer.
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229. I bailed you out, dumb-ass.
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230. Oh. Well, good.
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231. I'm driving. Let's go.
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232. I'm driving.
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233. No! You have no control
of your bladder.
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234. Hey, Carl, what
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235. are you doing?
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236. You got to go back.
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237. That's not right.
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238. You are trying
my Patience, Bart oates.
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239. What do you want from me?
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240. Look... I'm so sorry.
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241. I'm sorry that you tried
to walk in front of me when I
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242. clearly had the right of way.
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243. Hey, Carl, you know, that's
not really the spirit of this.
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244. All right, all right,
all right, look. Reset.
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245. I am very glad that forensics
could not match the paint
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246. on your face to the paint
on my Fender, but I am sorry
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247. that you had to pay
the ultimate price
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248. for not looking both ways.
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249. I did not wave you on.
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250. I was flipping you off!
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251. Carl.
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252. Ok. All right.
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253. I'm sorry you're dead.
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254. You're in the red zone
now, buddy.
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255. You got to close the deal.
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256. But me answering questions
to a bunch of cops wasn't ever
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257. going to bring you back.
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258. Be a champ. Go all the way.
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259. Ok! I'm sorry
I hit you, all right?
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260. And that's as sorry
as I'm ever going to be.
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261. You were old. I could tell.
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262. Ok, guys, look. I'm sorry
that I made an assload of money
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263. selling these in the parking lot
of your show.
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264. They ain't supposed to
say chicano.
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265. It was them dumb-ass immigrants
I had working for me.
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266. Anyways, I want you
to have this.
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267. 20% off on these.
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268. Hey, Carl, you're
offsides, buddy.
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269. All right, look.
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270. Here's the money I made on it.
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271. $40 in change?
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272. Damn it. You know everything.
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273. All right, look. I'll make out
a check to... How about
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274. I make it out to Chicago?
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275. All right! Friggin' cash! Fine!
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276. Who was that?
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277. I don't know,
but check it out—
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278. $43 in change. All right.
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279. I don't recognize
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280. this place.
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281. Carl, huddle up.
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282. This is Linda Hamilton's house.
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283. She is destined to play Sarah
Connor in The Terminator.
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284. And Sarah will give birth
to John, and he will lead
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285. the resistance to the rise
against the machines.
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286. Well, I mean, she's already
been in that movie.
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287. Well, I've been sent
by the machines to get you
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288. to kill Linda Hamilton.
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289. What are you talking
about, man?
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290. She's an actress.
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291. Come on, Carl.
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292. You got to do it, brother.
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293. You got to go all the way.
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294. Do it for tuna. Do it for L.T.
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295. Come on, man. This is our house.
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296. This is Linda's house.
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297. We got to run a trap,
and you've got to lay
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298. a big hurt on Linda.
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299. Lay a big hurt on...
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300. Listen to yourself.
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301. She's an actress!
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302. It was a movie!
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303. This is friggin' stupid!
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304. Stupid? Are you kidding me?
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305. Listen, man. When I had
my knee surgery, the computers
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306. replaced all my parts
with metal machinery.
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307. You want to see?
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308. Looks like they did it
on a budget. I don't see
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309. any computers in there.
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310. What?
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311. A lot of cans here.
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312. Oh, man! The computers
lied to me.
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313. Oh, you think?
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314. Oh, no! My whole life
is a sham!
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315. Intruders.
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316. All right, drama queen.
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317. Let's get out of here
before Linda wakes up.
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318. Whoa. What the hell is that?
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319. It's a BB. It was lodged
in his frontal lobe.
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320. But how did he get
a BB in his brain?
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321. Milkshake, we're in
the goal-line offense, baby.
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322. You've got to score.
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323. You're a champ, buddy.
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324. Go all the way.
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325. I don't know.
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326. I need to figure out how to
shove a daiquiri up my butt.
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327. dancing is forbidden
d-d-dancing is forbidden
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