1. the old schooler
you want to trip?
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2. I'll bring it to ya
Frylock and I'm on top
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3. rock you like a cop
Meatwad, you're up next
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4. with your knock-knock
Meatwad make the money
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5. see?
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6. Meatwad get the honeys, G
driving in my car
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7. living like a star
ice on my fingers and my toes
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8. and I'm a Taurus
uh, check-check it, yeah
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9. 'cause we are the Aqua Teens
make the homeys say ho
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10. and the girlies want to scream
'cause we are the Aqua Teens
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11. Aqua Teen Hunger Force,
number one in the hood, G.
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12. Oh!
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13. Hey!
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14. I have bad glaucoma.
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15. So?
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16. Go to the doctor.
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17. I—I did.
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18. He said you should grow me
some pot.
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19. Marijuana?
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20. Whatever the kids are calling
it these days, yeah, sure.
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21. He just gave me these seeds...
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22. At the rat-dog show.
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23. Shake, marijuana is illegal.
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24. I won't tell on you.
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25. We're Roomies, man.
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26. But if you don't grow it,
I'm gonna tell on you.
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27. That doesn't make any sense.
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28. Yeah, it does.
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29. Well, we have vast fields and
Amber waves of marijuana on the
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30. moon.
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31. It's called moonajuana, boy!
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32. Will you up.
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33. I'm on it right now.
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34. And he loves it.
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35. See?
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36. These guys got it!
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37. And they're not even afflicted
with my crippling glaucoma!
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38. We have something worse.
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39. Butt cancer.
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40. Butt crack cancer.
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41. And yeast infections.
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42. Yes!
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43. Yeast unleashed in the east.
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44. Check it!
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45. Those aren't diseases.
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46. Not any more, fry man.
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47. The moonajuana scared it out
of existence.
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48. We have other diseases we
need to prevent.
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49. That's correct.
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50. So, you know...
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51. Still got to smoke.
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52. Aw, come on, Frylock.
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53. Please?
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54. You gonna just sit there and let
the diseases come to us?
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55. Or are you gonna be cool and let
us smoke some sweet Mary Jane?
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56. Moony Jane.
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57. Yeah, mooning Jane.
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58. You can do what you want...
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59. As long as you keep it away from
me and Meatwad.
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60. I don't need that junk
corrupting my mind.
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61. I need all my energy...
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62. For crack cocaine.
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63. Meatwad!
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64. Ha ha ha.
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65. That's what I'm into!
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66. Hard-core crack.
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67. That's why my teeth are so bad.
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68. Well done.
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69. We are thought of highly by
those without jobs.
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70. Oh, well, don't be surprised
if I call the cops on your ass.
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71. Fry man, we have hidden 4
grams of cocaine in your room.
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72. We did?
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73. No, we didn't do that, Err,
but we would.
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74. And we will tell that pigs that
when they arrive.
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75. Do the thing.
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76. The pigs will never find us.
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77. For we are thin lines of
deception.
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78. Deceptornominon.
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79. Err, no.
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80. Other way.
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81. Deceptonoidus.
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82. Turn this way.
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83. Oh.
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84. No, other way, third—
dude, I know how to do it.
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85. I'm on it.
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86. Hey, weren't we gonna fix my
guacamole?
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87. Follow me, hippies.
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88. We are the dope men.
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89. Because we wear corduroy.
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90. How do—
how do I smoke this?
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91. Dude, it's so cool.
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92. Tell them, Err.
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93. Ok, man, see...
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94. See this bong.
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95. This is a bong.
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96. And here's how you hit it.
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97. Lower the moon bong.
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98. Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
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99. it's moonajuana time.
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100. Then we shall stoke the flame
with moonajuana.
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101. Dang.
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102. That looked like a big old tire.
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103. Moonajuana grows in the shape
of a tire.
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104. Any dealer will tell you
that.
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105. So, burn!
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106. Burn the flame!
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107. Stand by to revisit the stone
age.
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108. Yeah.
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109. The stoned age!
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110. Ow!
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111. Light it up.
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112. I'm going head-first in this
bitch.
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113. Like hell you are.
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114. I'm the one riddled with
diseases.
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115. Well, I need it, too, 'cause
I got the disease.
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116. And I need medication.
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117. Ok.
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118. Hey.
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119. You guys want to hit this?
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120. No, thank you.
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121. That's a poisonous tire.
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122. What?
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123. I mean, we're already very
high.
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124. This is great.
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125. Whoa!
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126. I'm flying, man.
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127. Yeah.
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128. Oh, that feels good.
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129. Yeah.
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130. Don't...
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131. Don't exhale so fast.
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132. You gotta hold it in,
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133. like the pros.
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134. Oh, I just did.
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135. That's good stuff.
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136. Oh, come on, man!
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137. You're wasting the TLC.
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138. The TCB.
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139. You know, that's the chemical
that unlocks the...
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140. Hey, where's the carb on this
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141. thing?
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142. We don't know.
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143. It's up your butt, dude.
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144. Oh, here it is.
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145. Up my butt.
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146. Thanks.
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147. Thanks, guys.
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148. Ooh, boy!
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149. What is that, your colon?
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150. Get that out of your mouth.
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151. That's gross.
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152. You don't know where that's
been.
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153. What?
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154. I know.
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155. I know exactly where it's been,
man.
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156. Ha ha ha ha.
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157. Hi.
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158. I'm high.
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159. Ha ha ha ha.
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160. You get it, Shake?
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161. This is awesome.
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162. You know what we need to do?
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163. We gotta get some instruments,
take lessons, and learn to play
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164. them.
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165. And then we're gonna have the
hottest jam of Comfortably
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166. Numb that anyone has ever heard
in their life!
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167. Well, we—we can do a jam.
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168. You can jam on me with that log.
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169. I ain't feelin' nothing.
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170. Go ahead and hit me with it.
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171. Yeah!
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172. Listen to that beat!
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173. Yeah, that's good.
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174. You getting it good.
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175. Turn that beat around.
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176. This could go on for a very
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177. long time.
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178. I'm beatin' meat!
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179. Hey, did everybody hear my joke?
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180. Ha ha ha ha.
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181. Hey, this is called "something
to order—a whole loaf of
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182. bread."
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183. Hey, you—
hey, you know what?
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184. Let's live forever.
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185. Whoa.
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186. And now we burgle.
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187. Can you grab the other end of—
oh, hey, man.
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188. Uh, you're gonna have to pay
for that.
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189. It's cool.
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190. Yeah, it's cool.
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191. No, it isn't.
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192. Oh, it's not?
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193. Well, we thought it was.
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194. No, you're gonna pay for that
window or I'm calling the cops.
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195. Easy, brother.
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196. Don't harsh my buzz.
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197. No, man.
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198. Don't do that.
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199. Operator, can I get the
police, please?
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200. We'll leave you be, fair
brother.
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201. Ok, hand me that hose.
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202. Ha ha ha.
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203. Ok, start pushing it in there.
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204. I'm getting some back draft or
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205. something, man.
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206. The red one sucks.
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207. Fry man, we made you this.
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208. Check it out.
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209. It's a nature necklace.
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210. It's coated with urine.
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211. That we made drinking from a
pure mountain stream.
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212. Organic.
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213. Bro-han, let us put our
differences aside and throw down
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214. mighty.
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215. Oh, like them?
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216. Oh, they're just getting
jiggy with it.
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217. We rule Hollywood.
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218. No, thanks.
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219. Come on, man.
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220. Don't be a nerd.
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221. Yeah, come on, man.
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222. Rock out with us, man.
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223. Come on and go...
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224. Rock 'n' roll!
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225. Away from your possessions
which are worth things.
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226. Uh-huh.
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227. So, that's your plan this time,
right?
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228. Get me so high so you can take
all my stuff.
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229. No, man.
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230. Where is the trust these days?
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231. Fat man, do you desire the herb?
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232. No, no, no.
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233. I'm not a druggy.
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234. I don't buy that stuff.
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235. I mean, I'll do it if somebody,
like, passes it to me,
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236. or whatever.
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237. Like that time I saw Styx at the
garden with the big Mr. Roboto.
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238. Oh, man!
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239. I got so arrested
that night.
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240. Why, you got some?
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241. No.
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242. But he has a lot of it.
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243. Hey, fry man!
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244. What's going on, man?
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245. Nothing.
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246. All of this is ours!
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247. I don't see anything I want,
err.
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248. Yeah, me neither.
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249. Burn it to the ground so
others may not have it either.
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250. This dude back where I worked
at a styrofoam peanut factory,
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251. like, he converted the toilet
into, like, a bong.
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252. And you just sort of put your
face over the seat.
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253. It was pretty bad-ass!
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254. I went in there.
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255. Someone had used the number two.
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256. So, I fish it out, load it up.
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257. You gotta do something to get
through that shift.
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258. Later on when I became an adult,
I was thinking, you know, that's
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259. gross.
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260. But, man, that—
that bathroom was so awesome in
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261. high school.
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262. So, what's this, like a big
hookah or something?
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263. Sure.
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264. Just put your head under that
dome.
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265. We're gonna get high tonight.
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266. Put in some Styx.
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267. Like Paradise Theater.
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268. Uh, no!
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269. Kilroy was here!
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270. You got that digital
remastered...
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271. You guys find what you
needed?
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272. Yes, we did.
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273. Thanks for asking.
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274. Come on, man.
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275. You sure you don't want to hit
that?
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276. any classic Styx.
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277. I'm sure.
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278. Or the Dennis deyoung solo
album—"desert moon."
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279. You got that?
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280. Can we come in?
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281. Play with your things?
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282. No.
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283. Harsh.
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284. Why do you guys always come
down here and mess with us?
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285. There's, like, 50 billion people
on this planet.
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286. There are?
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287. Since when?
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288. Long time.
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289. How long?
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290. Very long.
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291. Why don't you invite us in
and teach us.
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292. We didn't have fathers growing
up.
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293. You didn't have a father?
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294. No!
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295. Wow.
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296. I mean, that's...
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297. Actually kind of sad.
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298. I never learned how to steal
or fight or drink the right way.
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299. My dad left home
when I was 3.
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300. Told my mom he couldn't take it,
it meaning me.
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301. And he was the alcoholic.
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302. Moonaholic.
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303. Whatever.
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304. I mean, dependent on moonohol.
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305. And then one day, man, my mom,
she drops me off at summer camp,
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306. and she says, "see you later—
forever."
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307. And she just drives off.
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308. I—ever since then, man, I've
just been depressed.
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309. Everything I do is for
attention.
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310. That's why I steal.
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311. I mean, look at this.
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312. I stole this.
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313. What am I gonna do with this?
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314. I just really just—you know, I
just miss my dad...
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315. And I don't know where my mom
went.
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316. And...
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317. Man...
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318. No one really wants to be
around.
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319. And that's what makes me cry.
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320. Well, if you want attention,
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321. I could maybe...
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322. Suggest you,
go to L.A.,
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323. try to be a movie star.
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324. It's easy to do.
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325. We know that.
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326. We've been there.
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327. And we will.
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328. When does the get high part
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329. start?
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330. Shh, shh!
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331. Here it comes, here it comes.
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332. This is his scene.
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333. That's not him at all.
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334. That is totally him!
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335. He was clean-shaven, Ok?
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336. Oh, you just got lost in his
character here.
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337. Run!
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338. Get out of there, man!
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339. Run.
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340. Run.
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341. This guy is bad news.
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342. This where I go to kill them
gay prostitutes?
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343. Oh, man.
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344. Don't say yes.
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345. Don't say yes.
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346. Dude, don't do it.
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347. Yes.
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348. Oh!
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349. Damn it!
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350. Man!
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351. f-finger puppets
f-f-f-f-finger puppets
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