Aqua Teen Hunger Force 2x18

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The Wisdom Cube claims to hold all the known knowledge in the universe, but it seems he only possesses a knack for tiresome anecdotes. Frylock has his doubts if this is all for real.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

2. SO, GENTLEMEN,

3. YOU, UH, YOU TRY THAT FOOT LOTION I GAVE YOU?

4. THE ONE WITH THE GORILLA ON THE BOTTLE?

5. YOU KNOW? THE ONE—

6. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I TRIED IT?

7. YOU DID!

9. "AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE."

10. NUMBER ONE IN THE 'HOOD, G.

11. HELLO? I'M HERE. ANYONE HOME?

12. HI! HEY, IS ANYONE IN THERE?

13. I'M COMING!

14. HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY, I'M HERE!

15. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?

16. HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!

17. I AM THE WISDOM CUBE.

18. THIS ONE TIME, 3 YEARS AGO, I BROKE MY ARM.

19. I WAS INFORMED IMPROPERLY

20. THAT MY KEYS WERE IN A THROTTLING WOOD-CHIPPER.

21. ALAS, THEY WERE NOT.

22. I SHALL NEVER WEAR A CAST AGAIN.

23. THE ITCHING DROVE ME

24. TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY.

25. FROM NOW ON, ALL MY LOCKS SHALL BE KEYLESS.

26. WHO YOU TALKING TO? WAIT, MOVE OVER,

27. LET ME SEE. LET ME SEE HIM!

28. I WAS TELLING YOUR FRIEND HERE

29. I BROKE MY ARM IN A SKIING ACCIDENT.

30. I BUSTED THIS TREE IN HALF.

31. BUT YOU JUST SAID—

32. I KNOW WHAT THE TRUTH IS.

33. I SKI SOMETIMES IN VAIL. I'M ALLOWED TO.

34. OK? WE HAVE A HOUSE THERE.

35. I HARDLY EVEN USE IT, BUT I'M THERE SOMETIMES.

36. WELL, WHY DID YOU—

37. AND NO KEYS! "F THAT," I SAID.

38. IN THAT CASE, WHY—

39. YOU SHOULD NOT ASK ME THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS,

40. ALL RIGHT?

41. I HAVE ALL THE WISDOM IN THE UNIVERSE,

42. AND I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE FOR ETERNITY

43. ANSWERING YOUR DUMB, TINY-MINDED QUESTIONS.

44. WELL... DEAL WITH THAT.

45. WELL, THEN, WHAT'S THE—

46. DID I NOT SAY "THE WISDOM CUBE"?

47. HE SAID IT! I WAS HERE!

48. MAYBE I'LL WEAR A STICKER ON MY CHEST

49. SINCE YOU'RE SO HUNG UP ON LABELS.

50. HEY, WHAT'S THIS OLD BOARD DOING HERE?

51. DON'T ASK!

52. NO, ASK, PLEASE!

53. ALL RIGHT. WHAT YOU DOING?

54. HE TOLD YOU NOT TO ASK!

55. I'M HERE FOR SOME PRACTICAL JOKE—

56. AHEM— JOB INTERVIEWS.

57. PASS ME YOUR PHONE,

58. I NEED TO MAKE SOME LONG-DISTANCE CALLS!

59. HELLO? IS THIS JAN WEBSTER?

60. IT IS?

61.

62. HA HA HA HA!

63. CLASSIC!

64.

65. IT NEVER GETS OLD FOR ME!

66. YOU HAVE ANY OTHER PHONE BOOKS?

67. I'M OUT OF WEBSTERS.

68. WHAT? THAT'S IT?

69. YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA TOUCH THE WASHINGTONS?

70. I KNOW! I SAW THEM, TOO. WHICH PAGE?

71. ONE PAGE BACK. RIGHT HERE.

72. THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.

73. YOU FOUND IT. I'LL NOTE THAT.

74. HELLO?

75. IS THIS A. WASHINGTON?

76. IT IS?

77.

78. AH, HA HA HA HA! YEAH!

79. WASHINGTON! YOU BUSTED HIM!

80. HA HA HA! LET ME TRY ONE!

81. NAH, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE.

82. GET ME A PALLET OF TOILET PAPER.

83. I'VE GOT A WISE IDEA.

84. Wisdom cube: COME OUT, FAT MAN!

85. COME OUT AND WITNESS YOUR DEMISE!

86. OH, YEAH, WELL, HE CAME OUT ALREADY.

87. HE HAD TO GO GET ONE OF THEM, UH, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT

88. WHEN YOU—WE HAVE TO STAY 100 FEET AWAY FROM HIM.

89. IT'S CALLED A FREE BEER NEXT DOOR.

90. COME ON! ALL RIGHT!

91. WOO-HOO!

92. HEY! I SAID, "COME ON!"

93. I CAME! WHERE ARE YOU?

94. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

95. OH, WHAT? YOU'RE SCARED NOW?

96. WHAT'S UP, WUSS?

97. SAY "MOTHER, MAY I," THEN SPELL "CUP."

98. IT SAYS HERE THAT THIS WISDOM CUBE

99. IS THE WISEST BEING IN THE UNIVERSE

100. AND HE TRAVELS THE GALAXIES FEEDING OFF KNOWLEDGE.

101. HE BE FEEDING OFF THEM MICROWAVE BURRITOS, TOO.

102. THOSE ARE GONE?

103. THERE WERE 6 THIS MORNING.

104. THERE AIN'T NONE NOW. HE'S GASSY, BOY.

105. DON'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT HIM FARTING?

106. OH, HE'S JUST DOING THAT WITH HIS MOUTH, MEATWAD.

107. SOMETIMES, THE MOST BRILLIANT PEOPLE

108. ARE THE MOST ECCENTRIC.

109. REALLY? THAT'S A DEAD-ON IMPRESSION OF A BUTT.

110. TAKE ME FOR INSTANCE. I MEAN, I'M BRILLIANT.

111. AND HAVEN'T YOU EVER NOTICED HOW I LIKE

112. TO WEAR THIS AROUND OCCASIONALLY

113. AND PRETEND LIKE I'VE BEEN BAD?

114. NO. BUT I HAVE N-NOW.

115. I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN ME LIKE THIS, RIGHT?

116. YES! I HAVE, I— I TOLD YOU I DID.

117. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO.

118. HEY, LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

119. GUESS WHAT ELSE THAT CUBE DID THIS MORNING?

120. LOOK AT THAT. HE DONE T.P. ed CARL'S HOUSE.

121. UH-OH. I BETTER GO TALK TO HIM.

122. UH, YEAH, YOU MIGHT JUST SORTA...

123. TAKE THAT THING OFF, TOO.

124. TELL ME I'VE BEEN BAD.

125. YES, UH, YOU'VE BEEN ACTING UP LATELY.

126. AW, I'M SORRY.

127. WHEN HE COMES OUT HERE,

128. HIT HIM WITH THE EGG.

129. SAY... GOTCHA!

130. RUN! RUN! RUN! FIGHT! FIGHT!

131. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! DO IT! FIGHT!

132. COME ON! FIGHT!

133. DON'T WORRY, I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES.

134. YEAH, OK.

135. SO, ANYWAY, YOU CONTAIN

136. ALL WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY?

137. YUH-HUH. OK, WELL...

138. I'VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS PARADOX, YOU KNOW?

139. YUH-HUH? IF THERE IS A GOD,

140. THEN WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SUFFERING IN THE WORLD?

141. OR DID HE JUST CREATE US

142. IN HIS IMAGE OUT OF EGOTISM OR... WHAT'S THE POINT?

143. YUH-HUH. YUH-HUH?

144. YUH-HUH. YUH-HUH?

145. THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO SAY?

146. YUH-HUH. YUH-HUH?

147. HEY! TAKE A PICTURE! IT'LL LAST LONGER!

148. WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT?

149. WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN OVER THERE

150. AND LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.

151. THIS ONE TIME, I ATE BOILED PEANUTS.

152. I MEAN, LIKE A WHOLE LOT OF THEM, RIGHT?

153. AND I'D LIKE TO HAVE GOT SICK.

154. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

155. I—I THINK I UNDERSTAND.

156. I MEAN, I'M—I'M NOT SURE I'M GETTING THE TOTAL GRASP

157. OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. I MEAN...

158. IF YOU—WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

159. KEEP HONKING. I'M RELOADING MY GUN.

160. THAT'S NOT REALLY THE RESPONSE I EXPECTED,

161. YOU KNOW? HEY!

162. I'M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM.

163. WELL, ANYWAY, UH—

164. HORN BROKEN?

165. WATCH FOR FINGER.

166. OK, WELL, LOOK AT THE TIME.

167. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEER HOLDER,

168. THAT'S WHAT I— I'VE HEARD.

169. OK, OK. DON'T WANT TO CUT YOU OFF.

170. NO! DON'T GO! NO, WAIT!

171. WORK IS FOR PEOPLE

172. WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO FISH!

173. LOOK! THERE'S CARL! HEY, CARL!

174. HEY! HEY! HOLD UP, MAN!

175. NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T COME OVER HERE.

176. DON'T GO ANYWHERE! STAY RIGHT THERE!

177. VERY FUNNY, SCOTTY,

178. NOW BEAM DOWN MY CLOTHES.

179. HEY, MAN, LOOK, I'M SORRY.

180. I'D LOVE TO STAY HERE WITH YOU,

181. BUT I GOTTA GO OVER THERE WITH CARL...

182. AND SPANK HIM.

183. SHUT UP AND FISH!

184. NO, NO, I GOT NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.

185. NOTHING PERSONAL.

186. OH, THANK YOU.

187. HEY, NICE YARD! IT'S NICE!

188. HOW'S THAT RESTRAINING ORDER COMING?

189. FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

190. IT'S STILL TIED UP IN THE COURTS.

191. 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE PHOTOGRAPHS OF THINGS

192. LIKE THIS THING YOU'RE DOING HERE WITH MY BUTT.

193. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

194. CHECK IT OUT! COMPLETELY ROLLED.

195. STOP DOING IT.

196. WAIT, NO, NO, WAIT. KEEP DOING IT!

197. HEH HEH. LET ME GO GET MY CAMERA!

198. NO, DON'T LEAVE ME, CARL!

199. OTHERWISE, I GOTTA GO TALK TO HIM.

200. HEY! OBSERVE YOUR YARD, FATTY!

201. OR YOU COULD GO TALK TO HIM.

202. NO WAY.

203. YEAH, YOU GUYS PROBABLY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.

204. UH-UH. LOOK, HE AIN'T MY KIND.

205. GUESS WHAT, CARL?

206. YOU LIKE THAT?

207. HE HATES FOREIGNERS, TOO.

208. HEY, NICE YARD. TAKE A LOOK AT IT?

209. COMPLETELY ROLLED. IT'S NICE!

210. WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?

211. I DON'T KNOW. WHY DON'T YOU GO FIND OUT?

212. I NEED TO GO BACK INSIDE.

213. I ROLLED IT, FAT MAN. YOUR YARD.

214. CHECK IT OUT.

215. WHAT'S UP?

216. CHICKEN BUTT. HA HA HA HA!

217. YA EVER HEARD THAT BEFORE?

218. YEAH, I HEARD IT A LOT.

219. IN THE SECOND GRADE.

220. IT'S A GOOD'UN.

221. COULD YOU DEFINE "GOOD'UN," PLEASE?

222. GET ME THE BUSINESS PAGES.

223. I WANT TO GIVE SOMEONE THE BUSINESS.

224. HEE HEE HEE.

225. I'LL BE INSIDE... AWAY FROM YOU.

226. I GOTTA TELL YA.

227. A LITTLE OF THAT GUY GOES A LONG WAY.

228. YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST SO WEIRD.

229. I—I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE'S THE ALL-KNOWING

230. BEING OF THE UNIVERSE.

231. YEAH, ALL-BEING.

232. HE'S DOING THE 10-POUND BALL JOKE ALL WRONG!

233. IS THIS THE GOLF COURSE? HEH, IT IS?

234. DO YOU HAVE 10-POUND BALLS?

235. NO? WELL, THEN, HOW DO YOU WALK?

236. HA HA HA! HOW DO YOU WALK WITH A...

237. REGULAR? WELL...

238. HA HA HA!

239. I MEAN, THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE ANY WAY YOU HEAR IT.

240. WELL, NOT TO MENTION

241. THAT I UNPLUGGED THE PHONE 3 HOURS AGO.

242. HE'S JUST PUTTING ON A SHOW.

243. YEAH, HI. YEAH, WE'RE WATCHING YOU.

244. MAYBE THAT'S IT, SHAKE. MAYBE IT'S POST-MODERN.

245. YEAH, CLEARLY FROM THE VILLAGE.

246. HEY, YOU! COME HERE!

247. YOU GOT A COUPLE HOURS?

248. GO ASK HIM ABOUT THE FUNNY TIME

249. HE ATE ALL THE BOILED PEANUTS.

250. IS IT FUNNY?

251. I THOUGHT I'D LAUGH TILL I DIED.

252. NO, MEATWAD, DON'T!

253. WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

254. YOU CAN'T WALK BY HIM

255. WITHOUT GETTING LOCKED INTO SOME CONVERSATION

256. ABOUT WHAT COLOR HE WOULD PAINT HIS BEDROOM,

257. OR THAT OLD CHESTNUT, "HOW I BROKE MY ARM."

258. OOH! LET'S GO HEAR THAT ONE AGAIN!

259. I GOT NOTHING ELSE GOING ON.

260. HI, THIS ONE TIME— NO!

261. NOW, WE'RE JUST GONNA WALK PAST HIM,

262. DON'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT, AND GO RIGHT TO THE POOL.

263. EXCUSE ME, SIR, SIR? EXCUSE ME, SIR? SIR?

264. GUYS? COME ON, SIR?

265. COME ON GUYS, COME ON, SIR.

266. HEY, SIR, SIR. COME HERE.

267. IS HE TALKING TO US?

268. MEATWAD, DON'T.

269. YES! MEATWAD!

270. LEAVE HIM, HE'S DEAD TO US!

271. THIS ONE TIME,

272. I WAS WATCHING THIS FUNNY TV SHOW.

273. IT WAS—CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER IT,

274. BUT IT WAS REALLY FUNNY.

275. THEN I HAD AN IDEA FOR A DREAM VACATION.

276. I MEAN, I HAD THE SPREAD, OK?

277. THE BEACH, THE HOTEL.

278. THEN I WROTE ALL OF THIS DOWN.

279. WROTE IT ALL DOWN.

280. REALLY WROTE IT, LIKE 5 PAGES.

281. ING LOST IT.

282. YOU LOST IT?

283. YOU WANT A DREAM VACATION? FORGET IT.

284. THIS ONE OLD BOY, HE GAVE ME A JOB MOPPING UP

285. LATE NIGHT AT THIS CHILDREN'S APPAREL STORE.

286. HEH, PSHH! HE SAID I MADE WORSER MESS THAN IT WAS!

287. THAT'S DISCRIMINATION!

288. OH YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

289. BECAUSE THIS ONE TIME, I ATE BOILED PEANUTS.

290. YEAH, YEAH, THIS ONE TIME,

291. I RENTED ME A PRESSURE WASHER, START THIS BUSINESS,

292. "MEATWAD PRESSURE WASHING,"

293. BUT THEN I WAS TOLD, "YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A LICENSE."

294. I SAYS, "LICENSE? HELL,

295. I AIN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS COUNTRY!"

296. THEN HE GOT ALL MAD.

297. I MEAN, MEATWAD'S SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW

298. HOW TO GET OUT OF THAT GRACEFULLY, RIGHT?

299. NO, HE'S NOT. YEAH, I KNOW.

300. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY,

301. THERE'S ANOTHER ONE, GO UNDER!

302.

303. HOW'S THE DRAIN? IS THAT—

304. SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT DOWN THERE?

305. HEY.

306. OH. HI, FELLA.

307. HEY, Y'ALL SEEN MY COUSIN AROUND HERE?

308. TELLIN' THIS REALLY LONG STORY

309. ABOUT HOW HE HURT HIS FOOT

310. BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WEAR HIS SHOES

311. WHEN HE WENT TO THE BANK?

312. REALLY? AT THE BANK?

313. THIS ONE TIME, HE WENT TO THE BANK—

314. NO, NO, NO, NO! HE'S RIGHT OUT FRONT!

315. OH, HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, "WISDOM CUBE?"

316. OH, H-HEY.

317. I'M SORRY. WE DIDN'T MEAN IT.

318. I'M THE REAL WISDOM CUBE.

319. THIS IS MY COUSIN, THE DUMB-ASS AHEDRATRON.

320. SAY IT, DON'T SPRAY IT.

321. WE USUALLY TRY TO STRAP HIM DOWN.

322. DOWN CLOWN TOWN FROWN!

323. SHUT UP!

324. DOWN TOWN CLOWN FROWN!

325. SHUT... UP!

326. OH! SO, YOU'RE THE REAL WISDOM CUBE!

327. YUH-HUH.

328. THE SOURCE OF ALL KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM?

329. YUP. YOU'RE HIM? THE ONE?

330. YUH-HUH. SO—SO...

331. LET ME ASK YOU, WHAT— WHAT'S AT THE END?

332. WHEN WE'RE DEAD, IS IT OVER?

333. DO WE GO TO HEAVEN? DO WE GO TO HELL?

334. OR DO WE JUST ROT IN THE GROUND?

335. SOME THINGS SHOULD NOT BE KNOWN BY MORTALS.

336. BUT I WILL LEAVE YOU THIS FLAMING BAG.

337. WHENEVER YOU NEED AN ANSWER FOR SOMETHING,

338. WHEN YOU FEEL YOU ARE TRULY READY,

339. PUT OUT THIS FLAME.

340. THIS FLAMING BAG CONTAINS THE ANSWER?

341. YEAH, HUNKER DOWN, YOU HAIRY DOG!

342. YUP, HUNKER DOWN, BOY!

343. THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS

344. RIGHT HERE ON THIS BUMPER STICKER.

345. BUMPER STICKER? LET ME SEE THAT!

346. AND NOW, WE MUST LEAVE YOU.

347. SEE YA! WOULDN'T WANNA BE YA!

348. PUT IT OUT! GET THE ANSWER!

349. I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I'M READY

350. FOR THE FINAL ANSWER.

351. BUT YOU COULD BE.

352. I'M READY FOR YOU TO KNOW.

353. DO IT WITH YOUR HANDS WHILE WE'RE WATCHING.

354. COME ON, PUT IT OUT!

355. THAT'D BE AWESOME.

356. AW, MAN!

357. WOO-HOO! HA HA, JACKASS!

358. THE OLDEST FREAKING GAG IN THE BOOK!

359. WOO-HOO! HA HA HA!

360. HEY, MAN, YOU KNOW,

361. IF YOU WANT THE FINAL, FINAL ANSWER,

362. UM, YOU SHOULD PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH.

363. I THINK YOU'RE READY.

364. YOU SON OF A—

365. SEE YOU LATER, SUCKERS!

366. COME BACK HERE AND SAY THAT!

367. AH HA!

368. ROUND DOWN FROM THE CLOWN FROWN!

369. HEY, FAIRY, BLOW IT UP—

370. AAH!

371. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

372. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—