1. GENTLEMEN, ALLOW ME
TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
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2. I AM DR. BUTTOCKS!
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3. GENTLEMEN, WHERE ARE YOU?
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4. WARNER BROS.
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5. AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE.
NUMBER ONE IN THE HOOD, G.
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6. OK, THE FINAL CATEGORY
IS SCIENCE.
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7. HAS THE CHEMICAL SYMBOL Be?
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8. Be.
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9. COOL. THIS ONE'S EASY.
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10. NO KIDDING.
PUT DOWN "BACKSTREET BOYS."
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11. WILL YOU BE QUIET?
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12. PUT DOWN "BACKSTREET BOYS."
YOU'RE NOT WRITING IT.
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13. YOU'RE GIVING IT AWAY!
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14. SHAKE, SIT DOWN.
IT'S NOT THE BACKSTREET BOYS.
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15. I KNOW, AND DON'T YOU
DARE PUT THAT DOWN.
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16. Be? COME ON.
IT'S BENMARK.
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17. OH, NO, IT AIN'T.
YEAH.
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18. BENMARK?
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19. IT'S A SUBLEVEL COUNTRY
UNDERNEATH DENMARK.
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20. HEARD OF IT.
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21. WHAT YOU'RE WRITING?
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22. NO, I'M PUTTING
DOWN BERYLLIUM,
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23. BECAUSE THAT'S THE ANSWER.
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24. YEAH, THAT'S
THE OTHER ONE.
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25. HEY. HEY, FRYLOCK,
GET ANOTHER PITCHER OF BEER.
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26. I WILL NOT. YOU'RE NOT
OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK.
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27. YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING.
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28. IF YOU DID, WE WOULDN'T
BE LOSING RIGHT NOW.
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29. WE WOULDN'T BE LOSING
RIGHT NOW
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30. IF YOU DIDN'T PUT DOWN
"BACKSTREET BOYS"
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31. ON HALF OUR ANSWERS.
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32. LOOK, MY GUT TELLS ME
BACKSTREET,
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33. MY BRAIN LIVES—WITH MY GUT.
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34. THEY'S ROOMMATES,
BUT SOMETIMES
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35. THEY DON'T GET ALONG
TOO WELL, YOU KNOW?
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36. THEY'S ALWAYS ARGUING ABOUT
THE BILLS—THE SON OF BILLS.
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37. OK, SHUT UP. THAT'S
ENOUGH. HERE WE GO.
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38. AND THE ANSWER IS, AS
WAYNE GOT IT, BERYLLIUM.
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39. YES! I KNEW IT.
I TOTALLY NAILED THAT ONE.
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40. OH! THEN WHY DIDN'T
YOU SAY THAT?
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41. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I WROTE THAT DOWN.
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42. WELL, I CHANGED IT
TO THE BACKSTREET BOYS.
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43. WHAT?
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44. I MEAN, YOU HEARD THE
CONFIDENCE IN HIS VOICE.
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45. HE'D BEEN THERE!
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46. BEEN WHERE, SHAKE?
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47. OK, I CHANGED IT
TO BENMARK.
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48. WHAT?
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49. YOU'RE A FOOL.
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50. BUT, LOOK,
IT IS A COUNTRY.
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51. I'LL FIND A MAP.
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52. OF THIS ROUND:
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53. IN SECOND PLACE,
WITH 25 POINTS,
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54. THE BACKSTREET BOYS.
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55. THEY'RE HERE?
WHERE ARE THEY?
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56. THAT'S WHAT
YOU NAMED US.
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57. OH.
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58. YET AGAIN,
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59. SCORE OF 60 POINTS,
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60. WAYNE "THE BRAIN"
McLAINE.
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61. YES. YES.
OH, GOD, YES!
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62. GOD, I HATE THAT WAYNE.
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63. WHOA! NO WAY YOU'RE
EVER GETTING SEX
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64. THAT ON YOUR HEAD.
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65. 'S UP?
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66. NOT LIKE US,
RIGHT, PAL?
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67. OF THE GAME
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68. IS IN
THE SPORTS CATEGORY.
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69. OF SPORTS.
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70. AW, HELL.
I SUCK AT SPORTS.
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71. BUT WAYNE DOESN'T.
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72. LIKE IT MATTERS—
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73. NAME THE LAST 5 NCAA
BASKETBALL CHAMPIONS.
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74. DON'T SWEAT IT.
WE GOT THIS COVERED.
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75. THE BACKSTREET BIO.
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76. A.J. LIKES ICE SKATING,
AND HOWIE LIKES TO FRISBEE.
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77. BASKETBALL JONES?
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78. BASKETBALL JONES.
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79. ON YOUR RADIO.
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80. IT'S FUNNY,
AND IT'S THE ANSWER.
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81. YOU PUT IT DOWN.
I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.
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82. NO, YOU'RE NOT,
BECAUSE HE
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83. HOW TO WRITE,
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84. REFUSE TO.
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85. JUST CALM DOWN, FRYLOCK.
IT'S OVER. WE LOST AGAIN.
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86. LET IT GO, AND ACCEPT THE TRUTH
THAT WE IS DUMB—
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87. DUMB AS HELL.
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88. HE'S RIGHT,
FOR THE MOST PART.
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89. WE GOT US
A SUPERSTAR,
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90. AND WE GOT TWO
ALBACORES THAT ARE
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91. AROUND MY NECK.
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92. ALBATROSSES.
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93. YEP. IT'S LIKE THE
RHYME OF THE MARINADE
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94. ALL OVER AGAIN.
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95. OF WAYNE WALKING AWAY
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96. WITH 50 BAR DOLLARS
EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT.
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97. I GOT IT.
WE'LL GO KILL WAYNE.
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98. NO, WE'RE DOING
THIS LEGAL. FOLLOW ME.
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99. WHERE ARE THE CHICKS?
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100. MY EYES OPEN?
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101. LOOK, JUST WATCH
THE SCREEN, OK?
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102. ALL RIGHT! PORNO!
HEY, I CAN DEAL.
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103. ACTUALLY, NO,
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104. IT'S ALL THE WORLD'S
KNOWLEDGE
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105. HUMONGOUS DVD.
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106. IN THE NUDE?
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107. WELL, IT SHOWS
A WOMAN WITHOUT SKIN,
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108. BUT THAT'S REALLY
MORE ABOUT HER ORGANS.
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109. BUT THE SEX ORGANS, RIGHT?
THIS IS A GOOD ONE?
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110. SEE YOU TUESDAY.
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111. HE LEFT.
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112. OH, YEAH, I SAW,
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113. 'CAUSE I CAN'T CLOSE
MY EYES TO NOT SEE!
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114. [OVERLAPPING,
INDISTINCT VOICES]
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115. THOSE FOOLS DON'T GET... BABY.
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116. ALL RIGHT,
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117. HOW WE DOING?
FINE.
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118. NO, WE'RE NOT
DOING THAT.
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119. AS HELL HERE.
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120. YOU ARE?
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121. I'M THE ONLY
U.S. PRESIDENT TO SERVE
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122. IN THE OVAL OFFICE.
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123. WELL, THEN, THAT WOULD
MAKE YOU GROVER CLEVELAND.
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124. COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?
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125. MEATWAD, HOW MANY
NONCONSECUTIVE TERMS
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126. DID GROVER CLEVELAND SERVE?
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127. I'M FINE. EVERY DAY
IS FINE LIKE WINE.
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128. WHAT DON'T WE JUST
UNHOOK YOU?
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129. WAIT A MINUTE!
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130. HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE
THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN.
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131. I'LL GO ANYWHERE
I WANT, BOY. OW.
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132. COME ON, DAMMIT.
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133. EMBEDDED IN MY ASS.
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134. OH, SHOOT.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
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135. WHAT IS IT?
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136. TOILET SEAT.
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137. IT'S JUST
A BASKETBALL HOOP.
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138. YOU SPEAK OF?
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139. AW, HELL, I FORGOT TO
PUT SPORTS ON THE DVD.
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140. OH. AND WHAT IS THIS
SPORTS YOU SPEAK OF?
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141. CARL, MY MAN,
WHAT'S UP?
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142. I DON'T HAVE ANY FOOD,
SO GET LOST.
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143. CARL, DINNER
IS ON US TONIGHT,
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144. 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT
TONIGHT IS, DON'T YOU?
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145. OH, YEAH. TONIGHT
I'M DOWNLOADING PORN
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146. AT 14 KILOBYTES
A SECOND.
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147. I'M JUST KIDDING.
HA HA HA!
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148. BACK HERE.
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149. YEAH. WELL,
WE WERE HOPING
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150. YOU'D WANT TO COME TO
A PARTY WITH US TONIGHT.
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151. OH, LOOKS LIKE
THEY'RE DONE PARTYING.
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152. NOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING
IS LOITERING,
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153. AND THAT'S VERY ILLEGAL.
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154. LOOK. HERE'S THE DEAL.
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155. WE'RE PLAYING
TEAM TRIVIA TONIGHT,
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156. THAT KNOWS SPORTS.
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157. HEY, HERE'S
A TRIVIA QUESTION.
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158. DO THAT?
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159. YEAH, THE CHICKS.
WHERE ARE THEY, FRYMAN?
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160. OH, THEY'RE IN THE BACK
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161. FOR THE JELL-O WRESTLING.
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162. HEY, NOW YOU'RE SPEAKING
MY LANGUAGE HERE.
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163. I KNEW YOU WASN'T GAY.
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164. YOU'RE NOT SITTING
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165. OF THE TEAM, CARL?
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166. WHAT ARE YOU, KIDDING?
NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT.
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167. HEY, THERE'S A BROAD.
THERE'S A BROAD RIGHT THERE.
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168. HEY! YEAH, YOU, DINGBAT!
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169. I WANT A PITCHER OF BEER,
FRIED JALAPENOS,
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170. THE NACHOS GRANDE,
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171. AND, UH, LET'S START
WITH 50 WINGS EXTRA-HOT,
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172. AND KEEP THE RANCH COMIN'.
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173. TWO COFFEES, PLEASE.
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174. YOU HEAR WHAT I ORDERED?
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175. HO HO! I'M GONNA BE
FARTING BLOOD OVER HERE.
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176. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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177. YOUR TRIVIA DOOM.
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178. IT'S WAYNE
"THE BRAIN" McLAINE.
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179. YOU'RE GOING DOWN
TONIGHT, WAYNE.
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180. CARL, WE NEED TO NAME
OUR TEAM. SOMETHING TOUGH.
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181. I TURNED IT IN, FRYMAN.
WE'RE GOOD.
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182. COMPETING SQUAD,
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183. WONDER WEASELS
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184. AND THEIR 2 BALLS.
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185. 2 BALLS! HA HA!
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186. VERY CLEVER, GUYS.
THANKS.
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187. YOU GET WHERE I'M GOIN'
WITH THAT, FRYMAN?
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188. THE, UH, THING?
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189. THE JOKE, HUH?
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190. YEAH, I DO, CARL.
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191. TONIGHT!
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192. OH. THE ROSETTA
STONE.
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193. AND THE ANSWER IS,
THE ROSETTA STONE.
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194. YEAH, FRYMAN
IN THE HOUSE, BABY.
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195. I WANT TO SAY RAW DEAL,
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196. IT COULD BE COMMANDO.
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197. RUNNING MAN.
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198. ONE OF ARNOLD'S
FIRST BIG HITS,
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199. IT WAS THE RUNNING MAN.
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200. YES!
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201. DAWSON IN THAT ONE.
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202. 1060...
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203. 10-60 WHAT?
OOH! 6!
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204. 1066.
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205. BOOYACKA, BOOYACKA.
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206. JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA.
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207. JOSEPH OF ARIMATHEA.
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208. ARE STILL TIED.
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209. YES!
HIGH FRY, CARL.
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210.
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211. HOW'S THAT SPELLED?
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212. UH, L-E-S-B-I-A-N.
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213. L-E-S-B—SHUT UP.
YOU'RE SPELLING "LESBIAN."
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214. AH, YOU GOTTA
EXCUSE THAT.
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215. HE SAID LESBIAN.
HA HA HA!
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216. AND AT THE END
OF REGULATION,
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217. WE HAVE A BARNBURNER.
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218. TIED FOR THE LEAD,
WITH A PERFECT SCORE,
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219. THE ONE-EYED GUYS.
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220. HE DIDN'T SAY IT ALL.
YOU GOT TO SAY IT ALL!
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221. SAY THE "2 BALLS" PART.
YOU DON'T GET IT WITHOUT THAT.
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222. FINAL QUESTION.
THE CATEGORY IS
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223. MAGNETOIDAL DIMENSIONS.
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224. HYDRO-WHAT?
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225. 4 HOURS. DID WE WIN?
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226. FOR 10 POINTS:
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227. AT A SUBSONIC SPEED,
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228. ONE HOUR OF HYPERSLEEP,
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229. OF THE ROMULAN NEBULA
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230. WILL SUFFER THE WRATH
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231. QUICKENING?
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232. AND FOR EXTRA POINTS,
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233. TO THE NEAREST MULTON?
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234. BE SPECIFIC.
THIS IS A REAL QUESTION.
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235. AW, HELL.
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236. THIS IS SO EASY.
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237. CARL?
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238. I SAID, 50 MORE WINGS.
WHAT ARE YOU, DUMB?
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239. SHAKE! SHAKE, WAKE UP.
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240. FINALLY.
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241. OFF TO THE SIDE.
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242. DAMMIT, HE'S FRIED.
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243. OH, THAT'S OK, BECAUSE I
HAPPEN TO KNOW THE ANSWER.
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244. ALL RIGHT, FINE.
GO AHEAD, SAY IT.
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245. SAY THE BACKSTREET BOYS.
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246. I KNOW. THAT'S WHAT
I THOUGHT AT FIRST, TOO.
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247. BUT IF YOU THINK BACK
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248. TO THE LAKE
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249. HOW TO GO FISHING,
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250. YOU'D REALIZE THAT HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
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251. THE ANSWER IS 'N SYNC.
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252. UH! OF COURSE IT IS.
GO ON, TURN IT IN.
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253. THAT'S COOL.
I KNOW.
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254. SO, UH, WHEN WE DOING
THE SPORTS PART HERE?
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255. WE'RE NOT. WE DIDN'T.
IT'S OVER. WE LOST.
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256. GET ENOUGH WINGS?
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257. AW, YOU TELL ME.
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258. I GOT ENOUGH?
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259. HEY, CARL, CAN I—
GIVE ME YOUR CELERY.
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260. NO. I NEED IT FOR FIBER.
I HAVE PROBLEMS.
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261. OK, WE HAVE A WINNER.
FOR 50 BAR DOLLARS
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262. THE TITLE OF CHAMPION,
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263. WAYNE "THE MAIN BRAIN"
McLAINE.
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264. YES! SUCCESS!
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265. OH, SO NOW
IT'S THE MAIN BRAIN?
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266. WHAT, YOU THINK YOU'RE SO MUCH
BETTER THAN WE ARE?
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267. BECAUSE I AM. I WON.
I'M PERFECT IN ALL WAYS.
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268. YEP, EXCEPT FOR THAT AFRO.
PLUS, YOU GOT BAD ZITS, BOY.
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269. I GOT THOSE ON PURPOSE.
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270. YOU NEED A BUF-PUF.
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271. COME ON, Y'ALL.
WE'RE NEVER COMING BACK
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272. TO THIS BAR AGAIN.
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273. WAIT, WAIT.
YOU WILL WAIT,
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274. WITH WAYNE.
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275. BAR DOLLARS.
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276. LOOK, JUST ANSWER ME
THIS ONE QUESTION.
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277. YEAH, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOUR HAIR?
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278. WELL, THAT REALLY
WASN'T THE QUESTION.
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279. SO IT IS GRASS.
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280. DAMN.
I'M EATING IT.
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281. IS THAT ALL BRAIN?
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282. IT'S THE BIGGEST ONE
YOU'VE EVER SEEN.
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283. GO AHEAD. ASK FORTH
YOUR QUESTION
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284. WAYNE,
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285. DELIVER UNTO YOU
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286. OF CORRECTITUDE,
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287. YOUR LIMITED ABILITY
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288. TO COMPREHEND IT.
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289. OK. WHAT DID YOU PUT
FOR THE FINAL QUESTION?
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290. HUH! THE
BACKSTREET BOYS.
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291. WAS WHAT?
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292. GOOD TO EAT.
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293. ALL THE QUESTIONS
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294. CREATED BY WAYNE.
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295. JUST LIKE THIS BOOTH,
NED HASTINGS, OUR HOST,
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296. AND THE HOT, MOIST MEAT
ON YOUR FRIEND'S WINGS.
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297. SO THAT'S WHY
HE NEVER GETS FULL.
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298. WELL, HE'S A GLUTTON.
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299. IS VERY REAL.
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300. RIGHT NOW.
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301. MAN, WHAT IS
YOUR PROBLEM?
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302. OH, PEOPLE ARE JEALOUS
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303. TO PUT THEM DOWN.
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304. HA HA HA!
IT BRINGS ME GREAT JOY.
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305. BUT NO TAIL,
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306. THE VERNACULAR.
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307. WELL, LOOK, WE ALL HAVE
OUR PROBLEMS WITH WOMEN,
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308. BUT WE DON'T JUST CREATE
SOME FAKE SITUATION
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309. TO TRY AND ATTRACT GIRLS.
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310. HA HA HA!
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T.
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311. WELL, DON'T RUB
IT IN, OK? WE KNOW.
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312. THAT'S ALL YOU KNOW.
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313. LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
MAKE YOURSELF A GIRLFRIEND
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314. SO DAMN ADVANCED?
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315. WELL, I DID.
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316. GOOD, THEN GO.
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317. WELL, I WILL.
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318. DAMN GIRLFRIEND.
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319. I WILL. SHE'S WITH ME.
STOP LOOKING AT HER.
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320. HEY, QUICK QUESTION HERE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BAR?
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321. IT'S GONE, CARL. WHAT DO
YOU THINK HAPPENED TO IT?
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322. HEY, SHOULD WE
GET SHAKE?
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323. 'CAUSE HE'S GETTING
EATEN BY APHIDS.
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324. NAH. HE'LL GET A RIDE.
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325. WARNER BROS.
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326. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE —www.ncicap.org—
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