Aqua Teen Hunger Force 1x18

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Carl is visited by the Cybernetic Ghost Of Christmas Past From The Future and learns that his house is built on an elfin graveyard, thus causing his pool to fill with blood. Then the Cybernetic Ghost Of Christmas Past From The Future recounts a long story about the first Christmas.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Dr.

2. RUN, FAT BOY, RUN!

3. AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE.

4. NUMBER ONE IN THE 'HOOD, G.

5. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

6. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

7. FAT MAN, ARISE.

8. OH. OH, GOD!

9. NOW YOU LISTEN DIRECTLY TO ME,

10. FOR I AM THE GHOST

11. OF CHRISTMAS PAST,

12. AND I HAVE COME TO SHOW YOU

13. WHAT CHRISTMAS WAS LIKE.

14. ALL RIGHT.

15. THIS WAS CHRISTMAS

16. FOR LITTLE CARL IN 1968.

17. OH, BOY, OH, BOY!

18. A NEW MOMMY.

19. I HOPE THIS IS

20. - YEAH, IT'S NOT. - UNWRAP IT, YOU LITTLE CREEP.

21. - WE GOT TO BE AT WORK - IN AN HOUR.

22. WHAT IS THIS, THERE?

23. IS THIS CARPET,

24. CARPET?

25. DADDY?

26. NO, NO. IT'S BERBER.

27. THAT'S AN INDUSTRY TERM.

28. HEY, IT'S LIKE A FLYING

29. MAGIC CARPET HERE.

30. LOOK AT THIS.

31. IN EGYPT LAND.

32. I'M FLYING AROUND

33. - DON'T GET TOO ATTACHED - THERE, ALADDIN,

34. - 'CAUSE IT'S ABOUT TO BE - MAGIC FLYING DINNER.

35. YOU CAN'T EAT CARPET,

36. SILLY DADDY.

37. NO, OF COURSE,

38. YOU CAN'T, LIKE THAT.

39. YOU GOT TO BOIL IT,

40. SOFT, YOU KNOW?

41. TILL THE GLUE GETS

42. OH, JEEZ!

43. LOOK AT THE TIME.

44. - BUT IT'S CHRISTMAS, - DADDY.

45. YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS.

46. AND YOUR RESPIRATOR.

47. PUT ON YOUR WORK BOOTS

48. I HAD TO PULL A LOT

49. OF STRINGS

50. - TO GET THEM TO HIRE - AN 8-YEAR-OLD!

51. DON'T MAKE ME GO.

52. COME ON!

53. I DON'T WANT TO MAKE...

54. YOU'RE LATE!

55. OH, GOD!

56. YOU REMEMBER

57. THAT CHRISTMAS, DON'T YOU?

58. NO, I... YOU KNOW,

59. - I REMEMBER EATING - CARPET.

60. NOT SO MUCH THE LASERS

61. AND THE ROBOTS, THOUGH.

62. THE WAR OF MAN

63. AGAINST MACHINE RAGED ON

64. THROUGH THE EARLY SEVENTIES.

65. - YOU DON'T REMEMBER - BECAUSE BACK THEN,

66. IT WAS ONLY A PROPHECY.

67. YEAH. COULDN'T...

68. BUT NOW, IN THE FUTURE,

69. THE PAST HAS OCCURRED.

70. NOW, JUST HANG ON

71. A SECOND, OK?

72. SURE.

73. YOU'RE THE GHOST

74. RIGHT?

75. OF CHRISTMAS PAST,

76. THAT IS CORRECT.

77. OK, WELL,

78. I MEAN, YOU KNOW

79. THAT IT'S FEBRUARY,

80. RIGHT?

81. I AM A ROBOT.

82. WELL, UH, YOU KNOW,

83. OBVIOUSLY.

84. WHAT ARE YOU,

85. STUPID?

86. W-WELL, NO, I'M...

87. I WILL SEE YOU

88. IN DECEMBER, TOMORROW.

89. OK, WHATEVER THERE.

90. JUST LOCK YOUR DOOR

91. ON THE WAY...

92. DO WHAT?

93. JUST LEAVE!

94. NEVER MIND!

95. - OH, GREAT. - HEY, CARL!

96. - WHAT? WHY ARE YOU HERE? - WHAT ELSE HAPPENS?

97. SORRY. LISTEN,

98. LIKE THIS...

99. I WOULDN'T BOTHER YOU

100. - SOMETHING'S WRONG - WITH MY ROOF, ISN'T IT?

101. WHAT? THE ROBOT'S

102. HE'S RIPPING UP MY SHINGLES.

103. ON MY ROOF, RIGHT?

104. - CARL, JUST RELAX. - LISTEN.

105. THIS IS TOTALLY

106. NOT A BIG DEAL.

107. THIS IS A BIG DEAL!

108. WHAT IS THIS?

109. IT'S A VERY BIG DEAL!

110. LOOK, AT FIRST I THOUGHT

111. THIS WAS THAT STUFF

112. - THAT TURNS RED - WHEN YOU PEE IN IT,

113. 'CAUSE I HAD TO PEE HERE

114. A NUMBER OF TIMES.

115. BUT LOOK AT IT, CARL.

116. THAT'S BLOOD,

117. MY FRIEND.

118. DAMN!

119. - LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WRUNG OUT - A HERD OF COWS

120. - THROUGH A JUICER - OR SOMETHING!

121. THIS IS NOT

122. COW BLOOD, CARL.

123. THIS IS...

124. ELFIN BLOOD!

125. - WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING - LIKE THIS TO ME?

126. WELL,

127. MAYBE...

128. I DON'T KNOW.

129. - OH, WAIT. - I DID IT.

130. - Frylock: SO WHY DID YOU FILL - CARL'S POOL WITH BLOOD?

131. WELL, THIS IS GOING

132. TO TAKE A LONG TIME,

133. SO YOU MAY WANT

134. TO GET SOME SNACKS.

135. NO, NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

136. I THINK I CAN WAIT FOR IT.

137. WELL, I'M GOING

138. TO GET FOOD.

139. THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO,

140. BEFORE THE DAWN OF MAN

141. AS WE KNEW HIM,

142. THERE WAS SIR SANTA

143. OF CLAUS...

144. AN APE-LIKE CREATURE MAKING

145. CRUDE AND POINTLESS TOYS

146. OUT OF DINO BONE

147. AND HIS OWN WASTE,

148. HURLING THEM AT CHIMP-LIKE

149. CREATURES WITH CRINKLED HANDS,

150. REGARDLESS OF HOW THEY BEHAVED

151. THE PREVIOUS YEAR.

152. THESE SO-CALLED TOYS WERE

153. BURIED AS WITCHES

154. AND DEFECATED UPON,

155. AND HURLED AT PREDATORS

156. WHO WERE AWOKEN

157. BY THE SEARING GRUNTS

158. OF CHILDREN.

159. IT WASN'T A HOLLY-JOLLY

160. CHRISTMAS THAT YEAR,

161. FOR MANY WERE KILLED.

162. WELL, THAT STILL DOESN'T

163. TELL ME WHY...

164. I'M NOT FINISHED.

165. - YOU SHOULD HAVE - GOTTEN A SNACK.

166. A WARLIKE RACE OF ELVES

167. FROM THE RED PLANET

168. - LANDED ON - THE ICE-ENCASED EARTH,

169. AND THEY WERE IMMEDIATELY

170. SANTA APE

171. ENSLAVED BY THE UNEVOLVED

172. TO MAKE HIS CONFUSED TOYS,

173. USING GALACTIC ELFIN TECHNOLOGY

174. FOREVERMORE... ARTISTS

175. TOYS WERE MADE

176. INTO RECOGNIZABLE SHAPES

177. AND GIVEN NAMES

178. LIKE "TRAIN."

179. BUT THESE TOYS WERE ALSO THROWN

180. AT PREDATORS AND DEFECATED UPON

181. BECAUSE THEY WERE SO STUPID.

182. CHRISTMAS STILL SUCKED

183. IN A BIG WAY.

184. BOY, THIS IS

185. A LONG STORY.

186. YOU KNOW, MAYBE I WILL

187. GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

188. YEAH, I THINK

189. WHILE I LISTEN TO YOU.

190. I'M GOING TO GET DRUNK

191. SO ABOUT THIS BLOOD...

192. LET'S JUST WAIT

193. FOR THEM.

194. SO YOU BEEN IN

195. LONG, OR...

196. THE NEIGHBORHOOD

197. WELL, I MEAN,

198. WE MOVED HERE NEXT TO CARL...

199. ALL RIGHT, WE'RE BACK.

200. THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO,

201. THE ICE HAD MADE

202. THE GLOBE UNNAVIGABLE.

203. SANTA APE DID NOT KNOW

204. WHERE THE NORTH POLE WAS.

205. HOW COULD HE?

206. HE WAS BORN

207. BEFORE SCIENCE EXISTED,

208. SO HE ARBITRARILY PLACED

209. HIS WORKSHOP RIGHT HERE,

210. LONG BEFORE THEY UNIONIZED,

211. AND CHRISTMAS WAS CELEBRATED

212. AT EACH FULL MOON

213. IN FRONT OF THE GREAT RED...

214. - Frylock: - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

215. WHO... WHO UNIONIZED?

216. WOULDN'T YOU LIKE

217. TO KNOW?

218. PROBABLY YOUR MAMA.

219. IT MAKES ME SAD

220. THEIR TOYS IN FRONT OF AN APE

221. THAT THEY HAD TO OPEN

222. AND THEY WERE ALL MADE

223. OUT OF DOO-DOO.

224. - WHAT KIND OF CHRISTMAS - IS THAT?

225. IT'S OK, MEATWAD.

226. THIS IS ALL A BUNCH OF BULL.

227. YOU DON'T BELIEVE?

228. BELIEVE WHAT?

229. - THAT YOU'RE A GHOST AND THAT - SANTA CLAUS IS AN APE?

230. THAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS...

231. HE WAS AN APE.

232. NOW HE IS A MACHINE.

233. I LEFT COOKIES

234. AND A GLASS OF MILK...

235. FOR A MACHINE?

236. - NO, MAN, - HE'S AN APE.

237. - I MEAN, WAIT. - HE IS A MACHINE.

238. YOU ARE TRYING

239. ON PURPOSE.

240. TO MESS ME UP

241. - BUT I THOUGHT EVERYONE - BACK THEN WAS UNDEVELOPED,

242. COULDN'T MAKE MACHINES

243. WITH THEIR CRINKLED HANDS.

244. BUT THE ELVES CAME

245. FROM THE RED PLANET,

246. - AND THERE WAS - MUCH DEFECATION.

247. - YEAH, YEAH. - YOU MENTIONED THAT.

248. HOW LONG AGO

249. THOUSANDS OF YEARS...

250. DID YOU SAY THIS WAS?

251. NO, SHUT UP!

252. YOU STILL HAVEN'T EXPLAINED

253. WITH ELF BLOOD.

254. WHY THE POOL IS FILLED

255. I TOLD YOU EARLIER,

256. IT WAS THE GREAT

257. CIRCUITING.

258. - YOU DIDN'T MENTION - NO GREAT CIRCUITING.

259. OH, I DIDN'T?

260. THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO,

261. BEFORE THE DAWN OF MAN

262. AS WE KNEW HIM,

263. THERE WAS A CREATURE

264. NAMED SPACE MONKEY,

265. AND THAT IS WHERE

266. BABIES COME FROM,

267. FOR MACHINES.

268. - BOY, THAT'S - SOME STORY.

269. - THAT KIND OF - IS DIFFERENT

270. - FROM WHAT I REMEMBER - BEING TOLD

271. ABOUT, YOU KNOW,

272. IN, YOU KNOW, A PHYSI...

273. PEOPLE LOVING EACH OTHER

274. NO!

275. THAT IS VERY WRONG!

276. YOU CLING TO YOUR

277. OF FLUID EXCHANGE.

278. PATHETIC FABLE

279. I AM TALKING!

280. - I'M SORRY.

281. - I NODDED OFF. - WHAT DID I MISS?

282. - WELL, YOU SHOULD - HAVE BEEN LISTENING,

283. 'CAUSE HE SAID

284. TRIED TO UNIONIZE

285. THAT THE ELVES

286. 'CAUSE SANTA APE WAS

287. USING THEIR MACHINES

288. - AND THEN THAT TURNED - INTO A WAR

289. BETWEEN THE ELVES

290. AND MACHINES,

291. - AND THE MACHINES - WON.

292. AND THEN THIS HERE...

293. WE'RE STANDING ON...

294. THIS HERE, WHERE

295. - THIS AN ELFIN - PLAYGROUND.

296. IT IS A GRAVEYARD!

297. - GRAVEGROUND. - SOMETHING.

298. AND THAT'S WHY

299. WITH BLOOD,

300. THE POOL'S FILLED

301. - 'CAUSE HE - OVER THERE,

302. - THAT GHOST... - HE'S HAUNTING IT,

303. - 'CAUSE CARL - DESECRATED IT

304. - 'CAUSE - HE LIVES HERE.

305. - SOMETHING, TOO, - ABOUT BABIES.

306. - BABIES GET MADE - THAT WAY.

307. - CARL, DID YOU GET - ALL THAT?

308. HEY, CARL,

309. WAKE UP. YOU'RE WASTED.

310. WHAT?

311. - YOU DIDN'T HEAR A WORD - HE SAID, DID YOU?

312. - OH, I GUESS NOT. - WHAT DID HE SAY?

313. - I HATE TO BE - A BUZZ KILL, BUT HE SAID

314. THAT YOUR HOUSE

315. AND THEY'RE PISSED OFF.

316. IS ON ELF GRAVES

317. - ALL RIGHT, FINE. - WE'LL DO THAT.

318. AND THE BLOOD'S JUST

319. UNLESS, UH...

320. GONNA KEEP FLOWING,

321. - UNLESS CARL - PAYS TRIBUTE

322. TO THE ELFIN

323. ELDERS IN SPACE.

324. - I'LL DO IT. - WHAT DO I DO?

325. - YOU MUST GIVE - OF YOURSELF

326. TO THE GREAT

327. RED APE.

328. OK. HOW MUCH?

329. SEXUALLY.

330. WONDERFUL.

331. - Frylock: HEY, MAN. - YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T - HAVE TO MOVE.

332. YOU COULD DO

333. THE ROBOT TALKED ABOUT.

334. THAT OTHER THING THAT

335. LOOK, I KNOW IT'S BEEN

336. A WHILE, RIGHT, BUT, UH,

337. I'M NOT GONNA GET HUMPED

338. BY A GIANT RED GORILLA

339. IN SPACE, OK?

340. NO, THANK YOU.

341. NOW GET LOST.

342. I GOT A GUY COMING OVER HERE

343. TO HOPEFULLY PUT AN OFFER

344. ON MY BLOODY HOUSE.

345. I DON'T NEED YOU HERE

346. FREAKING HIM OUT.

347. OH, GOD!

348. WHOA.

349. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

350. - WHY DON'T YOU GO - NEXT DOOR AND USE - OUR BATHROOM?

351. THAT'S JUST WHAT

352. GET NUDE IN YOUR HOUSE.

353. I WANT TO DO IS, YOU KNOW,

354. YO, CARL,

355. WHY DO YOU WANT TO SELL

356. THIS HOUSE FULL OF BLOOD, G?

357. YEAH, SO IT'S A FULL,

358. YOU KNOW, FULL 3-2.

359. - WE GOT GOOD SCHOOLS - HERE,

360. GOT THE BONUS ROOM THERE

361. WITH THE...

362. - WE SHALL COME - TO MEXICO TOMORROW.

363. WITH THE SHRIEKING ROBOT.

364. THERE HE IS.

365. AND IN THE SUMMERTIME,

366. YOU GOT THIS.

367. I GOT A QUESTION.

368. - HOW LONG DOES - THIS BLOOD LAST? - I DON'T KNOW.

369. YOU KNOW, LET ME TALK

370. TO MY BLOOD GUY HERE.

371. - THE ELFIN BLOOD - WILL FLOW FOREVER,

372. FOR ETERNITY

373. FROM THE ELFIN GRAVES.

374. FOREVER.

375. - THIS IS - GREAT.

376. - I'M GONNA LINE - THIS THING

377. - WITH GARGOYLES - FOR THE SACRIFICES.

378. WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?

379. DANZIG,

380. HUH.

381. - NOW, IS THERE A WAY - TO GET THE BLOOD

382. - TO FLOW UP - THE WALLS?

383. I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.

384. - THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT? - GOING UP THE WALL?

385. THAT'S ELF BLOOD, TOO.

386. THAT'S NOT CHEAP, YOU KNOW.

387. HOW MUCH YOU WANT?

388. - OH, I DON'T KNOW, - YOU KNOW.

389. MAYBE, UH, I DON'T KNOW,

390. A MILLION?

391. KILLER.

392. - DRAFT A CHECK - TOMORROW.

393. - YOU'RE SERIOUS. - THANK YOU, GOD!

394. DOES HE HAVE

395. SPRINKLERS ALL THE TIME?

396. TO RUN THOSE DAMN

397. IT SURE MAKES OUR HOUSE LOOK

398. DON'T YOU THINK?

399. A HELL OF A LOT BETTER,

400. - I'M GONNA GO TALK - TO HIM.

401. HE'S COMING OVER HERE!

402. - OK, GET OUT OF HERE! - I'LL HANDLE IT.

403. - JUST GO AWAY. MEATWAD! - COME ON! HURRY!

404. HEY!

405. HEY, DANZIG.

406. BUTT WIPE! OPEN UP!

407. - HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY? - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

408. - YOU GUYS SEEN - MY ROBOT? - Meatwad: YES.

409. - NO, WE... SHUT UP! - WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM.

410. YEAH, 'CAUSE I'M

411. BLOOD FRONT RIGHT NOW,

412. A LITTLE LOW ON THE

413. - AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE - HOOKING ME UP WITH THAT.

414. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

415. IF WE SEE HIM.

416. I MEAN, I'LL LET YOU KNOW

417. - HEY, YOU WANT - SOMETHING TO EAT?

418. - I COULD GO MAKE YOU - SOMETHING...

419. IN OUR HAUNTED KITCHEN.

420. DANZIG!

421. - YOU WANT SOMETHING - TO EAT?

422. - Shake: WELL, - NOT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT,

423. BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HOW LOW

424. THE INTEREST RATES

425. - ON MORTGAGES ARE - RIGHT NOW?

426. IT'S A BUYER'S MARKET.

427. NOW, LOOK, LISTEN TO ME

428. AS HARD

429. AS YOU CAN.

430. THAT ROBOT CAME

431. WITH THE HOUSE,

432. - AND NOW HE'S - GONE.

433. IF YOU SEE THAT MOTHER...

434. YEAH, WE'LL TELL HIM.

435. YOU BETTER.

436. - IF I FIND OUT - HE'S OVER HERE,

437. - I'M GONNA BE EATING - MY CEREAL

438. OUT OF THE BOTTOM

439. OF YOUR SKULL.

440. VERSTANDLICH?

441. OK. SO...

442. THANK YOU.

443. HEY, MAN, YOU CAN

444. HE'S GONE.

445. COME OUT NOW.

446. - I CANNOT LIVE - WITH THAT GUY.

447. HE IS SO ANNOYING,

448. HE IS SO FRIGHTENING,

449. - AND HE DOESN'T WEAR - A SHIRT.

450. YOU MAKE OUR HOUSE

451. BLEED RIGHT NOW!

452. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

453. TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

454. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

455. www.ncicap.org...

456. CAPTIONING INSTITUTE