Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 1x4

1. YOU KNOW HOW BOND FILMS ALWAYS START

2. WITH 007 ENDING A PREVIOUS MISSION?

3. THAT WAS COOL.

4. BOURDAIN, TONY BOURDAIN.

5. OKAY, MAYBE I'M JUST A CHEF FROM NEW YORK,

6. BUT THAT'S REALLY ME RISKING LIFE AND LIMB

7. FOR PURPOSES OF ENTERTAINMENT.

8. NO STUNT MEN, NOT EVEN AT THE TABLE.

9. AFTER SPENDING 28 YEARS IN THE KITCHEN,

10. MY LIFE NOW IS PRETTY DAMN EXOTIC —

11. OKAY, NOT EXACTLY JAMES BOND EXOTIC,

12. BUT I DO HAVE A LICENSE TO EAT.

13. BUT MY NEXT MISSION, TO VIETNAM —

14. TRUTH MAY BE STRANGER THAN FICTION.

15. I'M ANTHONY BOURDAIN.

16. I WRITE.

17. I TRAVEL.

18. I EAT.

19. AND I'M HUNGRY FOR MORE.

20. CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS, INC.

21. I STOOD ON MY FEET IN KITCHENS,

22. COOKING PROFESSIONALLY FOR 28 YEARS.

23. THAT'S WHO I AM,

24. THAT'S THE WAY I LOOK AT THE WORLD,

25. AND THAT'S THE WAY I'M ALWAYS GONNA LOOK AT THE WORLD.

26. BONJOUR.

27. MONSIEUR BOURDAIN? OUI.

28. LATELY, I'M LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE.

29. WHAT DO I SAY ON MY PASSPORT APPLICATION?

30. MEANS OF EMPLOYMENT — CHEF, AUTHOR, TV TRAVEL KNUCKLEHEAD?

31. TONY, GOT A PHONE CALL. LINE 2.

32. THANKS. I'M ON IT.

33. THESE DAYS, I GUESS I TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD

34. AND EAT AND DRINK FOR A LIVING.

35. MR. BOURDAIN, PREPARATIONS FOR YOUR JOURNEY TO VIETNAM

36. ARE COMPLETE.

37. YOU ARE TO RENDEZVOUS WITH DINH WAN LINH IN HANOI

38. IN 0800 HOURS.

39. YOUR TRANSPORT IS WAITING, SIR.

40. GOOD LUCK AND GOD SPEED.

41. DINH WAN LINH —

42. HE'S AN OLD FRIEND.

43. HE'S ALWAYS BEEN MY GUIDE ON TRIPS TO VIETNAM.

44. SO HE'S SOMEONE I OWE GREAT LOYALTY TO.

45. HELL, I'M GOING TO VIETNAM.

46. THESE DAYS, BETWEEN THE EXOTIC DESTINATIONS

47. AND THE ON-CALL TRAVEL AND THE MARTINIS,

48. I THINK — DAMN, I LIVING A LIFE BETTER THAN JAMES BOND.

49. NOBODY'S TRYING TO KILL ME — YET.

50. I DON'T KNOW, BOBBY FLAY MIGHT BE A LITTLE PISSED.

51. HAVE THE CHOPPER WAITING FOR ME

52. AND FUELED UP ON THE PAD, PLEASE.

53. THANK YOU.

54. BY THE WAY, THIS CELLPHONE

55. ALSO EMITS A POWERFUL ELECTRIC CHARGE

56. THAT COULD STOP A CHARGING RHINO IN ITS TRACKS.

57. THIS TRIP — IT'S A PAYBACK MISSION.

58. OKAY, LINH WORKS FOR THE FOREIGN MINISTRY,

59. AND, SURE, HE REPORTS ON MY ACTIVITIES

60. TO THE SINISTER-SOUNDING PEOPLE'S COMMITTEE.

61. BUT HE'S A FRIEND,

62. AND WHEN A FRIEND WHO'S BEEN THAT GOOD TO YOU

63. ASKS FOR A FAVOR, YOU DON'T ASK, YOU GO.

64. BESIDES, IT'S VIETNAM.

65. VIETNAM...

66. IT'S MYSTERIOUS, IT'S BEAUTIFUL,

67. IT'S UNKNOWABLE.

68. IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES ON EARTH —

69. A CROSSROADS WHERE NEARLY EVERY ASPECT OF THE CULTURE —

70. RELIGION, GOVERNMENT, AND CUISINE —

71. HAVE, AT SOME POINT IN HISTORY,

72. BEEN INFLUENCED BY A FOREIGN POWER.

73. YET IT REMAINS SOMETHING UNIQUELY MORE

74. THAN THE SUM OF ITS PARTS.

75. A PLACE OF FEW CULINARY INHIBITIONS,

76. ENDLESS HOSPITALITY, WITH A STRONG INNER IDENTITY.

77. BUT THERE'S NO OTHER PLACE LIKE IT.

78. I'M STANDING OUTSIDE THE HOTEL METROPOLE

79. IN THE CAPITAL CITY OF HANOI.

80. IT'S WHERE WRITERS, SPIES, AND THE INFAMOUS

81. HAVE ALWAYS STAYED FOR DECADES.

82. I'M WAITING FOR MY ALWAYS-BUSY FRIEND, LINH.

83. HERE HE IS.

84. HE'S A MAN WITH MULTIPLE AGENDAS,

85. AND FIGURING THEM ALL OUT CAN KEEP A MAN BUSY.

86. NICE RIDE, MAN. HOW ARE YOU DOING?

87. TAKING RIDE IN HANOI.

88. BORN TO BE WILD.

89. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT LINH HAS PLANNED FOR THIS TRIP.

90. HERE WE GO.

91. ONLY THAT IT INVOLVES MULTIPLE STOPS

92. AND ENDS ON A MYSTERIOUS ISLAND.

93. WHOA, DUDE!

94. IT'S NO SURPRISE WE'RE ON A MOTORBIKE.

95. SO IS THE REST OF HANOI —

96. ALL AT THE SAME TIME, IT SEEMS.

97. I'M REASONABLY CONFIDENT IN LINH'S DRIVING SKILLS,

98. BUT THERE ARE SOME WHITE-KNUCKLE MOMENTS.

99. AND HELMETS ARE, APPARENTLY, OPTIONAL.

100. WHOA, RED LIGHT!

101. NICE MOVE.

102. WE'RE IN A GOD-AWFUL HURRY TO GET SOMEWHERE.

103. AH, THIS IS MY PLACE. BUN CHA.

104. I OFTEN COME HERE.

105. AH, LUNCH.

106. OKAY, EASING INTO THINGS OVER BUN CHA —

107. SOUNDS SENSIBLE AND SMELLS DELICIOUS.

108. TONY, WE ARE THE LAST GUEST OF THE DAY.

109. THEN WE'RE VERY LUCKY.

110. WE'RE ALSO LUCKY TO BE HERE IN ONE PIECE.

111. THIS IS A PLACE WHERE I OFTEN COME

112. FOR LUNCHTIME AFTER WORK.

113. YOUR OFFICE IS NEARBY?

114. JUST ABOUT 10 MINUTES' DRIVE.

115. YOU CAN SEE BUN CHA, TWO PARTS.

116. THIS IS THE FIRST PART — "BUN."

117. AND THEN "CHA."

118. "CHA" IS THE GRILLING MEAT.

119. BRING ON THE CHARCOAL FIRE.

120. DECEPTIVELY SIMPLE.

121. A MAKESHIFT HIBACHI RIGHT ON THE SIDEWALK.

122. A DARK SOOT-ENCRUSTED STOREFRONT

123. OPEN TO THE STREET.

124. THE BUN CHA MASTER FANS THE COOLS RED

125. TO JUST THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE

126. FOR GRILLING THE OUTSIDE OF THE PORK...

127. WITHOUT DRYING THE INSIDE.

128. FAT DRIPS FROM THE MARINATED PORK,

129. SIZZLING INTO SMOKE WHICH PENETRATES THE MEAT

130. WITH ITS OWN FLAVOR.

131. WITH THE AID OF A TRUSTY FAN,

132. THE REST OF THE SMOKE IS FREE ADVERTISING,

133. LURING PASSERSBY WITH ITS ALLURING SCENT.

134. SOMETIMES I HAVE TWO TIMES LUNCH HERE.

135. I GO IN AND COME BACK.

136. I THINK HE HAS A BUN CHA PROBLEM.

137. CHA IS... IN THE SAUCE.

138. THE SAUCE HAS PAPAYA, WITH GARLIC,

139. A LITTLE BIT SWEET, A LITTLE BIT SOUR.

140. SMELLS GOOD.

141. SO, WE EAT LIKE THIS.

142. PUT THIS IN HERE. PUT IT IN HERE.

143. SO I GOTTA DIP IT AND MOISTEN IT IN THERE.

144. OH, YEAH. I SEE WHY YOU LIKE THIS.

145. DON'T FORGET THE...

146. PUT A LITTLE GREEN IN?

147. INTO YOUR BUN CHA, YOU ADD A MIXTURE

148. OF CRUNCHY GREENS AND HOT PEPPERS,

149. ALONG WITH CONDIMENTS LIKE PICKLED GARLIC AND LIME JUICE.

150. I'M GOING TO WATCH YOU DO YOURS FIRST.

151. NOT SHY ON THE PEPPERS.

152. IF YOU NEED MORE SOUR, YOU PUT MORE.

153. IF YOU NEED LESS SOUR, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT MORE.

154. EVERYTHING IS A MUST.

155. ONE COULD SAY IT'S A SUSPICIOUSLY DEMOCRATIC DISH.

156. IT'S NOT BUN CHA WITHOUT ALL OF THESE ELEMENTS.

157. I'M GOING TO BECOME VERY QUIET.

158. WHILE YOU EAT.

159. BECAUSE IT'S SO GOOD.

160. NEARLY EVERY LUNCH, AFTER WORK HOURS,

161. I CAME HERE AND EAT SILENTLY.

162. WELL, NOT EXACTLY SILENTLY.

163. ABOVE THE SOUNDS OF THE COOKING...

164. THE CITY...

165. AND EVEN THE MOTOR BIKES,

166. CAN BE HEARD THE SOUNDS

167. OF TWO HAPPILY SLURPING BUN CHA FANS.

168. TO THE VIETNAMESE, AS WITH MANY ASIAN CULTURES,

169. LOUD SLURPING OF NOODLES IS NOT RUDE AT ALL.

170. IN FACT, IT'S A SIGN YOU'RE ENJOYING THEIR MEAL.

171. AND I CAN SLURP WITH THE BEST OF THEM.

172. OH, THAT'S DELICIOUS.

173. I'M TRYING TO THINK OF, LIKE,

174. IF YOU EVER COME TO NEW YORK,

175. WHAT MY FAVORITE LUNCH PLACE —

176. I BET YOU'VE NEVER HAD A PASTRAMI SANDWICH.

177. I'VE GOT TO HOOK YOU UP WITH ONE OF THOSE.

178. SEND ME ONE.

179. I WONDER IF THEY'LL SHIP —

180. FEDERAL EXPRESS YOU A PASTRAMI SANDWICH

181. FROM THE SECOND AVENUE DELI.

182. WAIT A MINUTE — HQ OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT.

183. Code Pastrami.

184. Repeat, Code Pastrami.

185. HEADING BACK TO THE HOTEL METROPOLE

186. LINH ADVISES ME TO GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

187. I STILL DON'T KNOW LINH'S ULTIMATE PURPOSE.

188. BUT TOMORROW WE HEAD FOR THE MOUNTAINS

189. TO MEET WITH THE ONCE REVILED

190. AND DISTRUSTED ETHNIC MINORITY, THE MONTAGNARDS,

191. IN A VILLAGE THAT TIME NEARLY FORGOT.

192. I'M UP AND OUT OF THE METROPOLE EARLY,

193. AND RELIEVED TO SEE THAT MY TRAVELING COMPANIONS

194. ARE LINH'S FATHER, FATHER-IN-LAW, AND SISTER.

195. ALL I KNOW IS WE'RE HEADED FOR THE MOUNTAINS

196. AND A TRIBE CALLED THE WHITE TIDE.

197. NOW, DON'T BE LULLED INTO DISTRACTION

198. BY THE SCENERY WHIZZING PAST MY WINDOW.

199. SURE, VIETNAM'S COUNTRYSIDE IS BEAUTIFUL, PASTORAL, CHARMING.

200. BUT THIS IS A DANGEROUS DRIVE TO BE TAKING.

201. I HAVE TO TRUST THAT LINH HAS MY BACK.

202. I'M PRETTY NERVOUS ABOUT THESE PEOPLE.

203. THEY DIDN'T LET AMERICANS,

204. IN FACT, COME UP TO AREAS LIKE THIS FOR A LONG TIME

205. BECAUSE THESE GROUPS HAD A HISTORY

206. OF COLLABORATING WITH AMERICANS,

207. AND BEFORE THAT, WITH THE FRENCH,

208. BECAUSE THEY WERE NEVER TOO FOND OF CENTRAL GOVERNMENT.

209. HIGHER AND HIGHER WE GO, SOMETIMES ABOVE THE CLOUDS,

210. STOPPING AT A ROADHOUSE EATERY

211. IN A TOWN THAT LOOKS CLOSED FOR BUSINESS.

212. LINH SAYS NOT TO WORRY.

213. AFTER ALL, HE'S GOT HIS FOREIGN MINISTRY CREDENTIALS.

214. MY BOY SCOUT EXPERIENCE WILL CLEARLY PAY OFF NOW.

215. REMEMBER — TRUSTWORTHY, LOYAL,

216. HELPFUL, FRIENDLY, COURTEOUS, KIND,

217. OBEDIENT, CHEERFUL, THRIFTY, BRAVE, CLEAN, AND REVERENT.

218. ALL WORDS THAT DESCRIBE ME, I THINK.

219. IT'S REALLY CUTE WHEN KIDS RIDE BY ON THEIR BIKES,

220. AND THEIR MOTORCYCLES.

221. "HELLO."

222. I THINK I'M EATING A SMALL WOODLAND CREATURE FOR LUNCH.

223. A SCOUT IS SUPPOSED TO BE PREPARED,

224. BUT I HOPE ONE OF US HAS TOILET PAPER.

225. AND I BETTER DOUBLE UP ON THE IMMODIUM.

226. LINH RETURNS AND THE RESTAURANT

227. IS MIRACULOUSLY OPEN FOR BUSINESS.

228. OKAY. SO, LINH, WHAT'S FOR LUNCH?

229. FOR LUNCH, WE HAVE SOME...

230. OKAY. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL COULD WE BE TALKING ABOUT?

231. I GUESS IT'S A SQUEEZEL.

232. SQUEEZEL?

233. WHAT'S A SQUEEZEL? I DON'T KNOW,

234. AND LINH ISN'T TOO SURE, EITHER.

235. "FOREST CREATURE" IS THE BEST I CAN GET OUT OF HIM.

236. IT'S BIG, WHATEVER IT IS.

237. NO, NOT A WEASEL.

238. UH-OH, THIS DOES NOT LOOK GOOD.

239. FIRST OF ALL, IT'S UNRECOGNIZABLE.

240. SECONDLY, THE PLACE HAS BEEN CLOSED FOR HOW LONG?

241. HOW OLD IS THIS SQUEEZEL?

242. LINH TRIES MIGHTILY TO PUT MY MIND AT EASE.

243. THIS IS NOT IN THE RED ANYMORE.

244. OH, IT'S NOT IN DANGER.

245. SO YOU CAN FEEL FREE WHEN YOU EAT IT.

246. OKAY, GOOD, MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR.

247. WHATEVER IT IS, AT THIS POINT, I THINK I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

248. BUT THE CONSTANT HACKING MAKES IT HARD NOT TO WONDER.

249. I TOLD HER, IT'S NOT REALLY TO TRY OUT.

250. IT'S A GOOD ADDRESS IN THE PLACE —

251. JUST AS FRIENDS THERE.

252. ACTUALLY, I HAD TO CONVINCE HER,

253. TO ENCOURAGE HER TO OPEN NOW.

254. IT'S NOT THE DAY OF OPENING HER SHOP TODAY.

255. OH, I'M GLAD SHE FIT US IN.

256. THOUGH I SUSPECT IT'S LINH'S IMPECCABLE COMMIE CREDENTIALS

257. THAT GOT US THIS TABLE,

258. THE STAFF SEEMED HAPPY ENOUGH TO SERVE US.

259. HERE, THE ENTIRE MENU CONSISTS OF LOCAL FOOD PRODUCTS.

260. LOOK AT YOUR BASE.

261. MORE FOREST CREATURES MAKE AN APPEARANCE,

262. IN THE BEVERAGE SELECTION.

263. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

264. "OH, YOU MUST TRY THIS.

265. THIS IS SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL,"

266. SAYS THE PROPRIETOR.

267. SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL.

268. HOW MY BLOOD RUNS COLD WHEN I HEAR THOSE WORDS.

269. THERE'S RICE WHISKEY INFUSED WITH INSECTS,

270. RICE WHISKEY WITH BIRD CARCASS, WITH SNAKES,

271. AND, OF COURSE, THE REALLY GOOD STUFF.

272. I'M HAVING SOME WHISKEY MADE FROM THE STOMACH

273. OF THE BAMBOO-EATING DINNER MOUSE.

274. YES.

275. SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED, IF YOU WILL, MY GOOD MAN.

276. UNFORTUNATELY, THE LOCAL HEALTH TONIC

277. IS ALWAYS OFFERED TO SPECIAL GUESTS.

278. IT LOOKS AS IF IT HAS BEEN HERE FOR A LONG TIME.

279. THE LONGER, THE BETTER.

280. SAYS WHO?

281. THIS IS GOOD FOR THE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.

282. THIS IS GOOD FOR YOUR STOMACHACHE.

283. IT CAN CURE THE STOMACHACHE.

284. CURE THE STOMACHACHE. EXCELLENT.

285. CAUSE AND CURE ALL IN ONE BEVERAGE.

286. DRIED STOMACH — OH, YEAH!

287. OHH, STRONG.

288. AND BITTER.

289. AND BITTER.

290. IT BETTER BE REALLY GOOD FOR ME.

291. IT MAKES MY FACE WANT TO TURN INSIDE OUT.

292. THIS IS A FRIED ONE. THIS IS A BOILED ONE.

293. FRIED-AND-BOILED WHATEVER IT IS.

294. OKAY, IT'S NOT THAT BAD, I HOPE.

295. WHAT DOES THIS TASTE LIKE?

296. UH, WAITER, THERE'S SOMETHING SHARP IN MY SOUP.

297. THIS IS A HAIR OF THE ANIMAL.

298. THE HAIR IS ALL OVER THE BODY.

299. OH, A PORCUPINE.

300. SO WE'RE EATING PORCUPINE.

301. I FEEL BETTER NOW.

302. NO PROBLEM.

303. OKAY, MYSTERY SOLVED.

304. AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT SQUEEZEL IS NOW.

305. IT'S GOOD. YES.

306. I PREFER THE BOILED TO THE SAUTéED.

307. I WISH I KNEW.

308. MAYBE IT'S ALL THAT STOMACH-INFUSED WHISKEY,

309. BUT LINH LETS A FEW DETAILS SLIP

310. ABOUT WHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

311. FRESHLY FORTIFIED,

312. READY FOR THAT TWO-HOUR ROAD TRIP THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS.

313. TREACHEROUS ROADWAYS TO A VILLAGE OF AN ETHNIC MINORITY,

314. MONTAGNARDS.

315. BUT THERE'S A COMPLICATION.

316. WE'LL HAVE TO MEET WITH THE LOCAL HONCHO

317. FROM THE SINISTER-SOUNDING PEOPLE'S COMMITTEE.

318. NO WAY AROUND IT.

319. THIS COULD PUT A REAL DAMPER ON THE PARTY.

320. THIS COULD BE A PROBLEM.

321. VIETNAM HAS OVER 50 DIFFERENT ETHNIC MINORITY GROUPS,

322. THE VAST MAJORITY OF WHOM

323. LIVE IN THESE NORTHERN MOUNTAINS.

324. THE FRENCH CALL THEM MONTAGNARDS,

325. OR MOUNTAIN PEOPLE.

326. THE CIA, WHO USED THEM, JUST CALLED THEM "YARDS."

327. THEY'VE BEEN AROUND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS,

328. THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE OF VIETNAM.

329. THEY'VE PREFERRED TRADITIONALLY TO KEEP TO THEMSELVES.

330. WITH A HISTORY OF MAKING TROUBLE FOR THE COMMIES,

331. IT'S ONLY A FAIRLY RECENT DEVELOPMENT

332. THAT LINH CAN EVEN SHOW US ALL THIS.

333. SHOULDN'T WE BE TAKING THIS A LITTLE SLOWER?

334. THESE ROADS ARE TREACHEROUS.

335. TALK ABOUT "A VIEW TO A KILL."

336. HOW CAN THESE GUYS BE SLEEPING?

337. ONE BAD TURN AND WE'RE TOAST,

338. A HEAP OF CRUMPLED METAL AND CRUSHED BONES.

339. AND THIS VEHICLE WILL NOT BE SPROUTING WINGS

340. AND TURNING INTO A MINI AIRPLANE.

341. AND THAT SQUEEZEL IS NOT SITTING WELL

342. ON THIS TWISTING ROAD.

343. I'M GOING TO TOSS MY PORCUPINE ANY MINUTE.

344. I GUESS I'LL DIE ANOTHER DAY.

345. SOME OF THE HAIRIEST ROAD I'VE EVER DRIVEN.

346. NICE SCENERY, HUH?

347. LOK VILLAGE IN NORTH VIETNAM'S MAI CHAU VALLEY.

348. I'VE NEVER LAID NAKED EYES ON ANYTHING LIKE IT.

349. HAVE YOU?

350. I HAVEN'T.

351. EVEN A CYNICAL BASTARD LIKE 007 WOULD HAVE TO PAUSE

352. AND WONDER HOW THE HELL HE TRAVELED BACK IN TIME.

353. I AM UTTERLY FASCINATED

354. BY VIETNAMESE RICE FARMING AND IRRIGATION.

355. AS YOU CAN SEE, IT'S BACKBREAKING WORK

356. DONE LARGELY BY WOMEN.

357. JUST THE WAY THEY RAISE AND LOWER THE WATER LEVELS,

358. TRANSPLANT RICE —

359. CENTURIES, CENTURIES OLD,

360. AND YET FIENDISHLY INTRICATE AND STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

361. SURROUNDED 360 DEGREES

362. BY BREATHTAKING, MAGNIFICENT MOUNTAINS,

363. LOK'S RICE PATTIES ARE SHELTERED FROM THE SEASONS

364. AND ITS RESIDENTS —

365. A TRIBE REFERRED TO AS WHITE TIDE —

366. ARE LARGELY SHELTERED FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

367. WE WOULD.

368. THESE KIDS PULLED UP ON A BIKE

369. AND LOOKED AT MY CAMERA LIKE IT MADE THEIR DAY.

370. IT'S A DIFFERENT WORLD,

371. EVEN BY VIETNAMESE STANDARDS.

372. IF I COULD JUST GET ONE OF THOSE COOL BRACELETS

373. LIKE THEY USED TO GIVE CIA OFFICERS,

374. I WILL BE A HAPPY MAN.

375. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. JUST BEAUTIFUL.

376. NO.

377. A LONG TIME AGO,

378. THERE'S A LOT OF ANIMAL FROM FOREST COME BACK,

379. SO THEY DON'T WANT TO BE DISTURBED BY TIGER, BY LION.

380. SO THEY LIVE ON THE SECOND FLOOR.

381. A NOT-UNCOMMON-IN-ASIA TAKE ON THE DUPLEX.

382. LIVESTOCK BELOW, PEOPLE UPSTAIRS.

383. JUST MIND THE STEPS WHEN DRUNK.

384. OUR HOST, MR. NGUYEN, INVITES US UP

385. TO SEE WHAT'S COOKING FOR DINNER.

386. YES, I'LL WATCH MY HEAD.

387. THE KITCHEN.

388. IN THE KITCHEN, THE FEELING

389. OF STEPPING INTO ANOTHER TIME CONTINUES.

390. NICE VIEW FROM THE KITCHEN WINDOW.

391. HEY, IRON CHEFS, TRY THIS.

392. NOT A CUISINART OR A BLENDER OR A TOOL OR A COOKING METHOD

393. INVENTED IN THE LAST MILLENNIUM.

394. THIS IS THE LEAF.

395. THIS IS PUT TOGETHER WITH THE TREE LEAVES.

396. PORK WHICH HAS ALREADY SOAKED WITH — IS THIS SALMON? —

397. WITH THE INGREDIENTS ON THE FAN.

398. THERE'S LOCAL FRESHWATER FISH STEAMED IN BANANA LEAVES.

399. AND WHAT'S THIS, THE STEAMER?

400. LAMB.

401. "LAMB RICE," SAYS MY HOST PROUDLY.

402. A RARE VARIETY THAT GROWS AT HIGH ELEVATION.

403. IT HAS A UNIQUE FLAVOR AND TEXTURE.

404. TONIGHT WE'RE ENJOYING IT IN THE TRADITIONAL WAY —

405. COOKED IN BAMBOO.

406. A LONG TIME AGO, WHEN PEOPLE GO INTO THE FOREST,

407. AS THEY DO NOT HAVE A LOT OF WATER.

408. THEY JUST PUT THE RICE INSIDE BAMBOO TREE,

409. AND THEY JUST GREEN IT ON THE FAN.

410. AND IT STEAMS INSIDE THE BAMBOO.

411. THERE'S A HUGE AMOUNT OF FOOD BEING PREPARED.

412. AND WHEN I ASKED LINH IF WE COULD HELP OUT,

413. HE REMINDS ME THAT WE'RE NOT THE ONLY GUESTS OF HONOR,

414. AND I'LL BE NEEDED ELSEWHERE.

415. I PRESENT THE CHAIRMAN OF THE LOCAL PEOPLE'S COMMITTEE,

416. OUR MAN IN LOK VILLAGE,

417. OR, MORE ACCURATELY, THE CENTRAL GOVERNMENT'S MAN.

418. TONY, HE HAS BEEN HERE THIS MORNING WAITING FOR US,

419. AND WE CAME LATE.

420. THIS GUY IS NO BUNDLE OF FUN.

421. IN FACT, HE'S SUCKING THE FUN RIGHT OUT OF THE ROOM.

422. WOULD THE GENTLEMAN CARE FOR A BEER?

423. NO?

424. THE CHAIRMAN IS NOT PLEASED WE'RE LATE.

425. WORSE, FAR, FAR WORSE AND EVEN MORE TERRIFYING DANGER LOOMS.

426. PEOPLE'S COMMITTEE GUY TELLS LINH

427. WE HAVE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

428. TONY, YOUR FIRST TIME TO MAI CHAU?

429. YES.

430. SO MAI CHAU IS IN THE...

431. OF TOURISM INDUSTRY OF THE GOVERNMENT.

432. SO I HOPE THAT, THROUGH THE VOICE OF TV,

433. MAI CHAU WILL BE WELL-KNOWN TO THE WORLD OVER

434. AND MORE TOURISTS WILL COME.

435. I THINK PEOPLE WHO SEE THIS SHOW

436. WILL FIND IT IRRESISTIBLE.

437. THEY WILL WANT TO COME VERY BADLY.

438. IT WILL BE WONDERFUL

439. IF HE CAN HAVE DINNER WITH US TONIGHT.

440. OH, I WOULD BE HONORED.

441. OKAY, LET'S SAY "CHEERS."

442. FOR THE COUNTRYSIDE TOUR.

443. TURNS OUT ALL THE CHAIRMAN WANTED

444. WAS TO TAKE US TO DINNER.

445. AND AFTERWARDS, HE ADDS,

446. HE WILL JOIN ME IN A TEST OF SKILL.

447. LINH SAYS IT INVOLVES DANCING.

448. DANCING? NO WAY. I DON'T DO DANCING.

449. DID SEAN CONNERY DANCE?

450. HELL, EVEN ROGER MOORE DIDN'T DANCE.

451. THIS IS NOT GOOD. THIS IS NOT GOOD AT ALL.

452. THE SUN DROPS BEHIND THE MOUNTAINS

453. AROUND LOK VILLAGE,

454. A PLACE FEW WESTERNERS HAVE EVER SEEN.

455. AND WHEN IT'S NIGHT, YOU CAN'T SEE A DAMN THING.

456. OW, THIS IS DARK, LIKE TOTAL FREAKIN' BLACKNESS.

457. OH, EXCUSE ME, I DIDN'T SEE MR. PEOPLE'S COMMITTEE HONCHO.

458. INSIDE, DINNER IS READY. LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED.

459. TONIGHT'S PRIMARY MISSION —

460. DRINK MR. JOY BOY UNDER THE TABLE,

461. AND QUICKLY.

462. GET HIM SO LOOPED HE WON'T BE A RENT-A-BUMMER.

463. THIS COULD TAKE SOME DOING.

464. IT'S A RICE WHISKEY,

465. AND IT'S PART OF THE FERMENTATION PROCESS.

466. GINGER LEAF — GOES BACK A LONG, LONG TIME.

467. LET'S SEE HOW GOOD IT TASTES.

468. CHEERS.

469. THERE ARE NOT TOO MANY THINGS I'M REALLY GOOD AT,

470. BUT THIS I THINK I CAN DO.

471. DRINK UP, DUDE. Jell-O SHOT?

472. JAGER SHOOTERS?

473. WHOA, IT'S STRONG.

474. OKAY. THIS ISN'T GOING SO WELL.

475. WHAT DO THESE HANDSOME GENTLEMEN THINK?

476. NOW, 007 WOULD PROBABLY JUST NAIL THIS GUY

477. WITH A TRANQUILIZER DART, BUT THAT WOULD BE WRONG,

478. AND I'M FRESH OUT.

479. TIME FOR DIVERSIONARY TACTICS —

480. TALK ABOUT THE FOOD.

481. THE VIETNAMESE BELIEVE IN SOMETHING

482. CALLED "COMPREHENSIVE EATING."

483. IT MEANS EATING WITH ALL FIVE OF THE SENSES.

484. ALL OF THE DISHES LAID OUT AT ONCE

485. SO WE CAN APPRECIATE THE APPEARANCE AND THE AROMA.

486. IN MUCH THE SAME WAY AS WHEN YOU MOVE OUTSIDE

487. OF THE CITIES OF AMERICA, IN MORE RURAL AREAS,

488. LIKE THE DEEP SOUTH.

489. THE FLAVORS ARE MUCH MORE VIBRANT,

490. MUCH MORE SAVORY, MUCH STRONGER.

491. AND THE ROTGUT TASTES MUCH, MUCH MEANER.

492. THIS IS ROCKET FUEL.

493. ROCKET FUEL.

494. THIS ONE WILL MAKE YOU HUNGRY AGAIN.

495. I'LL BE UNCONSCIOUS LONG BEFORE I'M HUNGRY AGAIN.

496. I'M DOING OKAY, THOUGH,

497. BECAUSE THE GUY FROM PEOPLE'S COMMITTEE

498. IS WAY MORE HAMMERED THAN ME.

499. I THINK HE'S GOT A...

500. WHAT'S WITH THE HAND SIGNALS?

501. I THINK I HAVE FOUND MY EQUIVALENT

502. IN A MOUNTAINOUS SECTOR OF VIETNAM.

503. WHATEVER HE'S SAYING, I'M EXACTLY THAT OBNOXIOUS.

504. I'M EXACTLY THAT DRUNK, OR I WILL BE SOON.

505. AND HE IS DEFINITELY DOING GOD'S WORK.

506. MUST STAY RELATIVELY SOBER.

507. MUST GET MR. PARTY PANTS DRUNK.

508. THIS GUY COULD PROBABLY GO, YOU KNOW —

509. COULD HAVE ME BURIED IN A RICE FIELD, LIKE TONIGHT.

510. YEAH, DAMN RIGHT.

511. YEAH.

512. I AGREE WITH HIM.

513. I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING HE'S SAYING, AND I AGREE.

514. PLEASE EXPLAIN TO OUR HOST

515. THAT THERE'S NO PLACE ON EARTH I WOULD RATHER BE

516. THAN RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.

517. I FEEL 100 TIMES LUCKY TO BE WITH ALL OF YOU TODAY.

518. THERE IS A MINORITY IN NEW YORK FROM BROOKLYN.

519. THEY HAVE AN EXPRESSION — "DAMN SKIPPY."

520. DAMN SKIPPY.

521. OKAY, MAYBE THE ENTERTAINMENT WILL HELP LOOSEN HIM UP.

522. TRANSLATION — LET THE MADNESS BEGIN.

523. IT'S A SONG ABOUT MAI CHAU.

524. NOW, IF I WERE SOBER

525. I WOULD TELL YOU HOW IMPORTANT FOLK DANCE IS

526. TO THE VIETNAMESE.

527. I MIGHT MENTION HOW IT'S EVOLVED OVER THE CENTURIES

528. AS A CELEBRATION OF EVERYDAY LIFE.

529. THIS IS ABOUT THIS AREA AND THIS PROVINCE.

530. GRACE OF MOVEMENT, INDIVIDUAL STYLE —

531. I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

532. UNFORTUNATELY, BEING A GOOD HOST AND BEING A GOOD GUEST

533. ARE EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO THE VIETNAMESE.

534. WHICH MEANS, IF THE CHAIRMAN'S POURING, I'M DRINKING.

535. MY PLAN OF ATTACK MAY BE BACKFIRING.

536. TIME TO CARRY TONY OFF THE FIELD OF BATTLE.

537. THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED.

538. THEY ANNOUNCE THE POLE DANCE.

539. EMBARRASSMENT LOOMS.

540. I SMELL MY OWN IMMINENT HUMILIATION.

541. "EVERYONE MUST DANCE," SAYS THE CHAIRMAN.

542. "EVERYONE."

543. WHAT KIND OF FIEND WOULD GET A MAN LIQUORED UP

544. THEN FORCE HIM TO DANCE BAREFOOT

545. THROUGH DANGEROUSLY SLAPPING BAMBOO RODS?

546. IT'S DIABOLICAL!

547. EVEN TIMOTHY DALTON NEVER HAD TO DO THIS.

548. NOT EVEN GEORGE LAZENBY, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

549. ALL VESTIGES OF COOL, GONE.

550. DEATH SEEMS SUDDENLY INVITING.

551. OKAY. THAT WASN'T SO BAD.

552. FRED ASTAIRE.

553. SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE GOT, LINH.

554. APPARENTLY, LINH IS THE MICHAEL FLATLEY

555. OF POLE DANCING.

556. NOW I'M HAVING FUN. I LIKE THESE PEOPLE.

557. THIS IS A GOOD TIME.

558. BUT BY NOW, I'M FEELING ALL THAT LIQUOR,

559. REALLY FEELING IT.

560. SO IT'S TIME TO HIT THE SACK IN A DIGNIFIED WAY.

561. TOMORROW, LINH SAYS, WE HAVE SOMEPLACE VERY IMPORTANT TO GO.

562. ON A MYSTERIOUS ISLAND IN HALONG BAY,

563. A POWERFUL MAN WITH UNKNOWN MOTIVES

564. IS ANXIOUS FOR MY ARRIVAL.

565. I'VE NEVER SEEN LINH LIKE THIS.

566. HE'S NERVOUS AND EXCITED AND SELLING ME AWFULLY HARD

567. ON THIS FINAL LEG OF OUR JOURNEY THROUGH NORTH VIETNAM.

568. I THINK BEER'S PERFECT.

569. OMINOUSLY, HE EVEN INSTRUCTED ME TO WEAR A SUIT.

570. WE'VE LEFT THE COAST OF VIETNAM ON A PRIVATE CHARTER.

571. BUT WHOSE BUSINESS ARE WE ON —

572. GOVERNMENT BUSINESS OR PERSONAL?

573. CHEERS.

574. WHO IS THIS MAN WE'RE GOING TO MEET

575. ON AN ISLAND IN HALONG BAY, AND WHAT DOES HE WANT WITH ME?

576. SO I TAKE IT WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE STAYING

577. IN AN OPEN AIR, HOT — YOU KNOW, WHAT'S WITH THE TIE?

578. WE'RE GOING SOMEPLACE PRETTY FANCY, I TAKE IT.

579. WE'RE GOING TO THE COMPLEX THAT IS NEWLY OPENED.

580. JUST COMPLETED. SMALL ISLAND OVER THERE.

581. WE'RE MEETING A FRIEND OF YOURS?

582. YEAH. MR. SANG.

583. HE WILL TALK WITH YOU AND HAVE DINNER WITH YOU.

584. I MEAN THIS IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE,

585. BUT I REALLY DO FEEL LIKE I'M IN A "BOND" MOVIE.

586. I'M VISITING DR. NO AT HOME.

587. MR. SANG.

588. OKAY, I GET IT.

589. MR. SANG. MR. SANG.

590. WHO ARE THESE GUYS?

591. LINH CALLS THEM ESCORTS,

592. BUT THEY FEEL LIKE SOMETHING ELSE.

593. I MEAN, DO I NEED PROTECTION? I DOUBT IT.

594. AND WHY ARE WE ALL STANDING HERE LIKE THIS?

595. UH, EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN,

596. DO YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE ROOM?

597. THESE ROCKS JUST SEEM TO GO ON FOREVER.

598. THEY JUST GO ON AND ON.

599. MORE THAN 3,000, OF CLIFF AND ROCKS.

600. MANY YEARS AGO,

601. THERE'S A DRAGON, WHICH WAS LANDING ON THIS BAY.

602. LANDING DRAGON.

603. IT'S A BIG DRAGON, MAN,

604. AND IT IS JUST STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

605. AND PEOPLE LIVE OUT HERE ON BOATS?

606. YES.

607. FINALLY, AFTER HOURS OF ZIGZAGGING,

608. LINH CALLS EVERYONE TO THE BOW.

609. YOU SAID ONCE WE GET THROUGH THAT PASS,

610. I'LL ACTUALLY GET TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS HOTEL?

611. I'M PRETTY EXCITED.

612. WE CAN GET INTO THE ISLAND BY THIS BOAT.

613. THIS IS THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.

614. OUR MAIN DESTINATION,

615. ALMOST, ALMOST...

616. WHY, IT'S A SECRET LAIR IN A VOLCANO.

617. OKAY. NO, IT'S NOT.

618. TINWAT ISLAND — I'M TOLD IT'S HALLOWED GROUND.

619. ONCE THE SITE OF HO CHI MINH'S MODEST PERSONAL VACATION HOME,

620. BUT WHAT IS IT NOW?

621. OUT OF NOWHERE, TWO BOATS HAVE CONVERGED

622. ON EITHER SIDE OF US.

623. THEY'RE EMPLOYEES,

624. AS ARE MY SILENT BUDDIES IN THE SUNGLASSES,

625. OF MR. SANG, OUR HOST AND A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON.

626. Welcome, Mr. Bourdain.

627. THERE'S SOMETHING A LITTLE TOO COMPULSORY

628. ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING.

629. I TRUST MY FRIEND, LINH. I TRUST MY FRIEND, LINH.

630. I TRUST MY FRIEND, LINH.

631. BOURDAIN, TONY BOURDAIN.

632. SO FAR, THIS PLACE LOOKS VERY RELAXING.

633. AH, STRIKING TROPICAL VIEWS.

634. GENTLE, SANDY BEACHES.

635. QUIET ISLAND-RESORT ATMOSPHERE.

636. NICE.

637. WHAT'S THAT?

638. WHY DO THEY NEED KUNG FU DUDES HERE?

639. NOW, GRANTED, THROUGH THE CENTURIES,

640. CHINESE MARTIAL ARTS MOVED ACROSS THE BORDER INTO VIETNAM.

641. CASE IN POINT, KUNG FU.

642. BUT I THOUGHT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME

643. SINCE TROOPS OF WARRING MONKS

644. HAVE TANGLED INDISCRIMINATELY ON PUBLIC BEACHES.

645. WHAT ABOUT ALL THIS CONSTRUCTION?

646. WHAT ARE THEY BUILDING?

647. A TRACTOR BEAM?

648. A GIANT SATELLITE-BORNE LASER?

649. SO AS I REFLECT ON MY TIME IN THE HALONG BAY AREA...

650. ISLAND OF MR. SANG...

651. I'M BEGINNING TO WORRY THAT THEY MIGHT BE OPENING AN FBI FILE

652. ON ME SOME TIME REAL SOON.

653. I TELL YOU, IF I SAW THIS EPISODE, I WOULD.

654. OH, YEAH.

655. OKAY. MOVE ALONG.

656. MY KARATE IS NO MATCH FOR YOUR KUNG FU.

657. Mr. Bourdain, your presence is requested at dinner

658. in 10 minutes, 10 minutes.

659. SOMETHING TELLS ME

660. THEY HAVE A STRICT RESERVATIONS POLICY HERE.

661. "SORRY YOUR PREDECESSOR WAS LATE, MR. BOURDAIN.

662. "HE WILL NOT, UNFORTUNATELY, BE JOINING US.

663. HE'S INDISPOSED."

664. FINALLY, TIME TO MEET MY MYSTERIOUS HOST.

665. TONY, THIS IS THE PLACE.

666. OFFICIALLY, SANG IS THE YOUNGER BROTHER

667. OF SOME KIND OF INDUSTRIALIST

668. WHO PLACED HIM IN CHARGE OF THE ISLAND.

669. BUT WHAT ABOUT UNOFFICIALLY?

670. NO ARGUMENT HERE.

671. WOULDN'T WANT TO STUMBLE INTO THE CYBERNETIC SHARK TANK.

672. MAN, THIS GUY HAS A HUGE STAFF.

673. OKAY, VALET PARKING, MAîTRE D' — SURE,

674. BUT ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE — WHAT DO THEY DO?

675. SO FAR, LINH HAS SHOWN ME AN AMAZING TIME.

676. BUT MAYBE NOW'S A GOOD TIME TO SLIP AWAY QUIETLY.

677. BOURDAIN TO HQ.

678. HQ, come in. HQ, get me out of here.

679. TOO LATE. EVERYTHING IS SET IN MOTION.

680. I'M ABOUT TO HAVE MY CAMERAS TAKEN HOSTAGE

681. AND FIND OUT THE MYSTERY BEHIND THE ISLAND.

682. LINH AND I ARE SEATED AT OUR HOST TABLE,

683. OSTENSIBLY FOR DINNER.

684. BUT BELIEVE ME, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MR. SANG HAS IN STORE.

685. THE EVENING KICKS OFF WITH SOME TUNES.

686. WERE LIKE THE HOUSE BAND

687. FOR THE IMPERIAL COURTS.

688. 18th CENTURY?

689. SHOULD BE OLDER. SHOULD BE OLDER.

690. I SAY 13th CENTURY.

691. APPARENTLY WE'RE BEING TREATED

692. TO A PRIVATE PERFORMANCE — VERY PRIVATE.

693. THIS IS A RESORT. WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER GUESTS?

694. SO FAR, MR. SANG SEEMS FRIENDLY ENOUGH.

695. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

696. OKAY, HE GOES TO THE SAME TAILOR AS ROY ORBISON,

697. BUT HE'S BEING VERY HOSPITABLE.

698. THIS IS A BIG-BUDGET PRODUCTION.

699. AND IT ALL SEEMS TO BE FOR ME.

700. AND THERE SEEM TO BE A LOT OF TWINS.

701. TWINS, BASIL, TWINS!

702. I DON'T HATE THIS.

703. I DEFINITELY GOT JAMES BEAT ON THIS ONE —

704. 10 BEAUTIFUL WOMEN DANCING FOR ME?

705. I CAN LIVE WITH THIS.

706. THIS GUY, SANG, IS ALL RIGHT.

707. JUST GOES TO SHOW, WHEN YOU ASSUME —

708. I DO NOT HATE MY JOB RIGHT NOW.

709. THAT'S WHEN SANG'S PEOPLE TELL ME

710. THEY'RE TAKING CONTROL OF OUR CAMERAS.

711. SON OF A

712. IT'S "COOKING WITH MR. SANG!"

713. MASTERMINDING HIS OWN HIGH-TECH ISLAND LAIR,

714. THIS BLACK-CLAD BIG SHOT

715. HAD ONLY ONE DREAM AS A CHILD —

716. TO STAR IN HIS OWN COOKING SHOW.

717. SO HE'S HIJACKED AN AMERICAN CAMERA CREW,

718. MOMENTARILY SET ASIDE WORLD DOMINATION,

719. AND NOW HE'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PREPARE A BANQUET

720. FIT FOR AN EVIL GENIUS.

721. WITH THE SALMON, WE MAKE THE...

722. AND THE CHICKEN SALAD.

723. HEY, IT WAS PRETTY CONVINCING.

724. I GUESS I'LL TAKE A SMOKE BREAK.

725. I'M SHOWING YOU ALL THE MATERIAL FOR THE SPRING ROLL,

726. CABBAGE, BEAN-SHOOT, PORK, STREAMS, AND CHICKEN EGGS.

727. FOLD THE MIXTURE IN RICE PAPER.

728. IT JUST TAKES FIVE MINUTES.

729. SANG SAYS THAT IT'S GOOD ENOUGH.

730. GOOD ENOUGH FOR A BUSY OVERLORD ON THE GO.

731. BUT WHAT ABOUT SOME VEGGIES, MR. SANG?

732. CHICKEN, ONION, CHILI.

733. HE ALSO WANTS TO MAKE THE STIR-FRY SQUID.

734. YOU GO, SANG.

735. AFTER ALL, WHO'S GONNA STOP YOU?

736. Shh!

737. "NOT TO WORRY.

738. "HAVE HIM TAKEN AWAY.

739. YOU CAN DEAL WITH HIM LATER."

740. A LITTLE SAUCE AND — BAM! —

741. MR. SANG'S SQUID TREATS ARE HARD TO REFUSE.

742. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HARD WORK.

743. AND YOU KNOW HOW TO THROW A PARTY.

744. YEAH.

745. THAT WASN'T SO BAD.

746. AND IT TURNS OUT, SANG CAN ACTUALLY COOK.

747. IT'S DELICIOUS.

748. OH, SO GOOD.

749. SANG TOLD ME THAT, IN THE OLD DAYS,

750. THIS KIND OF VEGGIE BOWL WHICH IS OFFERED TO THE KING.

751. NOW YOU ARE THE KING.

752. TONIGHT, YES. EXCELLENT.

753. AND AS FITS A KING OR A RESORT MANAGER,

754. OR WHATEVER SANG IS, THE DISHES KEEP ON COMING.

755. CHARCOAL GRILLED CLAMS?

756. OH, THIS IS GREAT.

757. THIS IS THE WAY TO LIVE.

758. EVER TRIED TO OPEN CLAMS WITH CHOPSTICKS?

759. DON'T.

760. SEAN CONNERY, NOT ROGER MOORE, BY THE WAY.

761. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

762. I'M SO LUCKY TO HAVE FRIEND LIKE SANG.

763. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.

764. BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON HERE?

765. IF YOU LOOKED INTO THE FUTURE,

766. COULD YOU IMAGINE LIVING IN THIS WONDERFUL PLACE?

767. YEAH, YEAH.

768. NOT ME. THIS IS PRETTY GOOD.

769. "WHEN YOUR COUNTRYMEN COME," SAYS SANG,

770. "THE MARTIAL ARTISTS WILL HAVE SHOWS DAILY."

771. THAT'S WHEN I GET IT.

772. THIS WHOLE ISLAND IS THE GOVERNMENT'S IDEA

773. OF A TOURIST'S WONDERLAND,

774. DESIGNED TO LURE WESTERNERS LIKE, WELL, YOU AND ME,

775. TO BE PAMPERED IN A RE-CREATED WORLD OF THE IMPERIAL PAST.

776. C'EST LA VIE. THIS IS LIFE.

777. YEAH, THIS IS PRETTY DAMN GOOD, YES.

778. THE WHOLE ISLAND TRIP IS ABOUT NOTHING MORE SINISTER

779. THAN A TOURIST-FUELED FREE-MARKET FUTURE.

780. AND WHY NOT?

781. VIETNAM IS A COUNTRY OF STAGGERING BEAUTY.

782. AND ABOVE ALL, IT'S A COUNTRY FILLED WITH WONDERFUL PEOPLE,

783. LIKE MY FRIEND LINH, WHO, ONCE AGAIN,

784. DID RIGHT BY ME

785. AND SHOWED ME WHY I KEEP COMING BACK.

786. EVEN MR. SANG TURNED OUT TO BE AN OKAY GUY.

787. I'M LIVING THE DREAM, MAN. LET'S FACE IT.

788. SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED.

789. JAMES BOND NEVER HAD IT SO GOOD.

790. THAT'S TRUE.

791. YOU KNOW, BOND MAYBE SHOULD TAKE A PAGE FROM MY BOOK.

792. MAYBE IF HE HAD JUST GIVEN DR. NO A CHANCE,

793. HE COULD HAVE AVOIDED A LOT OF EXPLOSIONS,

794. AND EATEN A LOT BETTER.

795. LOOK OUT, EMERIL.

796. TO YOU, GENTLEMEN.

797. FOR FRIENDSHIP, FOR GOOD FOOD, FOR GOOD WINE.

798. TOAST LIFE.