1. Captioning made possible by
U.S. Department of education
and fox broadcasting companyCopy !req
2. it was a chicken,
I tell you.Copy !req
3. Dr. Scratchansniff!Copy !req
4. Do you know what keeps
this studio running?Copy !req
5. Uh... your brilliant
leadership, T.P.?Copy !req
6. I mean besides that.Copy !req
7. What keeps
this place going?Copy !req
8. Mel Gibson movies?Copy !req
9. Yes, Scratchansniff!Copy !req
10. How do we pay for them?Copy !req
11. With money. Money!
And we need more.Copy !req
12. With that in mind,Copy !req
13. I've invited some
powerful foreign investorsCopy !req
14. to come here tomorrow.Copy !req
15. They're prepared
to give us one bill—Copy !req
16. one bill—Copy !req
17. one billion dollars!Copy !req
18. You know what
that means?Copy !req
19. That's a one with lots
of zeros after it.Copy !req
20. No!
It means tomorrowCopy !req
21. is the studio's
most important day!Copy !req
22. I'm throwing
a gala banquetCopy !req
23. on sound stage 10.Copy !req
24. Every Hollywood star
will be there.Copy !req
25. The investors get
royal treatment,Copy !req
26. and we'll get the check...Copy !req
27. ifit goes smoothly!Copy !req
28. There's just one catch.Copy !req
29. Before they invest,Copy !req
30. they want to meet
everyone who works here,Copy !req
31. including you...Copy !req
32. ooh, that's nice!Copy !req
33. I like a party.Copy !req
34. And including...
the warner bros.Copy !req
35. Hi, T.P.!Copy !req
36. And the warner sister.Copy !req
37. No, T.P.!Copy !req
38. Don't let
the investors
meet them!Copy !req
39. They're out
of control!
They're—Copy !req
40. Your responsibility.Copy !req
41. You're the studio
psychiatrist.Copy !req
42. You have 24 hours,
Scratchansniff,Copy !req
43. to teach them
some manners.Copy !req
44. I can't have those—
those—What are they?Copy !req
45. I don't know.Copy !req
46. Well, I can't have them
ruining this banquet!
Understand?Copy !req
47. All right.Copy !req
48. I'll try.Copy !req
49. Trying is not
good enough,
Scratchansniff.Copy !req
50. Do it!Copy !req
51. Uh! Argh! Oh!Copy !req
52. Oof!Copy !req
53. Grrr!Copy !req
54. Bring me the warner bros.Copy !req
55. Wish me luck, siggy.Copy !req
56. how do you feel?Copy !req
57. how do you
stay together?Copy !req
58. I want to know
your psyche.Copy !req
59. now, what
would you call that?Copy !req
60. Stop that! Stop!Copy !req
61. Do you know
why you're here?Copy !req
62. No one really
knows why, doc,Copy !req
63. although Schopenhauer
had a theory—Copy !req
64. that's not
what I meant!Copy !req
65. Why'd ya say it?Copy !req
66. You're misinterpreting!Copy !req
67. No, this is
miss interpreting.Copy !req
68. This is
miss understanding.Copy !req
69. And I'm miss-terious.Copy !req
70. Ooh, a giant
pez dispenser.
Want one?Copy !req
71. Stop playing with my bust!Copy !req
72. Good night, everybody.Copy !req
73. Be quiet! I have
something to tell you.Copy !req
74. Story time!Copy !req
75. Get to
the scary part.Copy !req
76. What scary part?Copy !req
77. The part with my pet.Copy !req
78. Arggh!Copy !req
79. Aah!Copy !req
80. Ya, ya, your pet. O.K.
Good pet, heh heh.Copy !req
81. Now listen,Copy !req
82. the studio's giving
a big party
for some investorsCopy !req
83. with movie stars
and everything and...Copy !req
84. you have been invited.Copy !req
85. Movie stars?Copy !req
86. Michelle Pfeiffer!Copy !req
87. Mel Gibson!Copy !req
88. Don Knotts!Copy !req
89. Please!Copy !req
90. There's also
some bad news.Copy !req
91. Bea Arthur's putting out
a swimsuit calendar?Copy !req
92. She is?Copy !req
93. No!Copy !req
94. The bad news is,Copy !req
95. you can only go
if trained to beCopy !req
96. polite, clean,
well-Dressed childrenCopy !req
97. on your best behavior.Copy !req
98. I thought you said
it was a party.Copy !req
99. Well, yes or no?Copy !req
100. Well,
what did you decide?Copy !req
101. Yes or no?Copy !req
102. Yes!Copy !req
103. You got a deal.Copy !req
104. Let the training begin!Copy !req
105. Keep your guard up!Copy !req
106. Right! Right!Copy !req
107. Ahh, you're
a wrecking machine!Copy !req
108. Eeee!Copy !req
109. I got a headache this big.Copy !req
110. And now, my little...Copy !req
111. friends,Copy !req
112. we shall begin
training you for the party.Copy !req
113. Oh, miss nurse?Copy !req
114. Will you come in?Copy !req
115. Hello, nurse!Copy !req
116. Boys. Go fig.Copy !req
117. She's going to assist me
in your lessons
on etiquette.Copy !req
118. Start with
the receiving line.Copy !req
119. No!
That's a conga line!Copy !req
120. Nice to know you're
up on your dance steps.Copy !req
121. Argh!Copy !req
122. Grrr!Copy !req
123. Now,
in a receiving line,Copy !req
124. if I introduced her,Copy !req
125. what would be
the proper greeting?Copy !req
126. Hello, nurse!Copy !req
127. No, no! A proper
greeting like this—Copy !req
128. how do you do?Copy !req
129. Now, Yakko, you try.Copy !req
130. How do you do...Copy !req
131. that thing with your mouth?Copy !req
132. Take me away...Copy !req
133. but be gentle. I'm fragile.Copy !req
134. It's impolite
to be that personal.Copy !req
135. Wakko?Copy !req
136. I disagree!Copy !req
137. No! I want you
to greet the lady.Copy !req
138. Hello, nurse!Copy !req
139. No, no, no.
How do you do?Copy !req
140. Fine, thanks.Copy !req
141. Eee!Copy !req
142. Dot, would you care
to try it?Copy !req
143. But make
a little curtsy.Copy !req
144. Thanks, but I did
before I left home.Copy !req
145. No, a curtsy.Copy !req
146. Make a little curtsy.Copy !req
147. Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
148. a curtsy! A little curtsy.Copy !req
149. Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
150. Stop it! Stop that!Copy !req
151. I'm not here
to amuse you.Copy !req
152. Then, please,
stop being so funny.Copy !req
153. Now, dot,
please give it a try.Copy !req
154. How do you do?Copy !req
155. Tee-hee. Curtsy laugh.Copy !req
156. Ohh!Copy !req
157. Let's move on.Copy !req
158. And lift!Copy !req
159. Coming through!Copy !req
160. Uh, where do you want
the couch, mac?Copy !req
161. We'll work
on our diction.Copy !req
162. How do we avoid
bad elocution?Copy !req
163. Stay inside during
a thunderstorm.Copy !req
164. No, no. Elocution—Copy !req
165. diction, pronunciation.Copy !req
166. We'll work
on our vowel sounds.Copy !req
167. Let's pronounce this.Copy !req
168. A-e-I-o-U.Copy !req
169. Aeiou. Aaeeooo.Copy !req
170. No, no!Copy !req
171. I want the letters!
The letters!Copy !req
172. Scratchansniff,Copy !req
173. Scratchansniff,Copy !req
174. Scratchansniff.Copy !req
175. Hey!
Dr. Otto Scratchansniff,Copy !req
176. you may have won
$10 million!Copy !req
177. Are you married?Copy !req
178. No, no, no!Copy !req
179. With a temper like that,
it's no wonder.Copy !req
180. Stop! Haltenzie!Copy !req
181. Get—no!
In your seats!Copy !req
182. If you want to go,Copy !req
183. you must stop
the gags!Copy !req
184. Oh, all right.Copy !req
185. Let's plunge ahead.Copy !req
186. O.K.!Copy !req
187. Cannonball!Copy !req
188. Aah!Copy !req
189. When it's time to eat,Copy !req
190. table manners are of
the utmost importance.Copy !req
191. I want you to sit up.Copy !req
192. Arf!Copy !req
193. We can also play dead.Copy !req
194. Get up! Get up!Copy !req
195. What,
without a treat?Copy !req
196. Yes!Copy !req
197. Shamu wouldn't work
under these conditions.Copy !req
198. But shamu doesn't want
to go to the party!Copy !req
199. Was she invited?Copy !req
200. Argh!Copy !req
201. Hello, French nurse!Copy !req
202. Never mind.Copy !req
203. Now, we'll eat
a practice meal.Copy !req
204. I'll correct you
as we go along. Begin.Copy !req
205. Don't use your hands!Copy !req
206. Use the proper tools!Copy !req
207. Stop that!
Sit down!Copy !req
208. Do you want
to go or not?Copy !req
209. Yes.Copy !req
210. Aah!Copy !req
211. Fine.Copy !req
212. Now then,
you have a salad fork,Copy !req
213. dinner fork,Copy !req
214. butter knife,Copy !req
215. water glass,Copy !req
216. soup spoon,Copy !req
217. dinner knife,Copy !req
218. fish knife,Copy !req
219. oyster fork,
dessert spoon,Copy !req
220. napkin, finger bowl,Copy !req
221. dinner spoon,
salad knife,Copy !req
222. bread plate.
Got it?Copy !req
223. I can beat it—
full house.Copy !req
224. Ohh!Copy !req
225. You're not
paying attention!Copy !req
226. You didn't hear
any of that!Copy !req
227. You're not listening
to anything!Copy !req
228. Well,
sure we are, doc.Copy !req
229. Let's review, shall we?Copy !req
230. ya!Copy !req
231. no!Copy !req
232. ya!Copy !req
233. no!Copy !req
234. no, no, no!
I give up!Copy !req
235. It can't be done.Copy !req
236. Kaputski! You're not
going to the party.Copy !req
237. Not going to the party?Copy !req
238. Why?Copy !req
239. Why? Why?Copy !req
240. Because you won't be polite,
speak correctly, or say,Copy !req
241. how do you do!Copy !req
242. Oh, that.Copy !req
243. You mean like this?Copy !req
244. How do you do?Copy !req
245. You—you can do that?Copy !req
246. Sure!Copy !req
247. Then why do you give me
a hard time?Copy !req
248. 'Cause we love ya!Copy !req
249. Heh! Well, then...Copy !req
250. let's party!Copy !req
251. We're at
the warner bros. LotCopy !req
252. for a fantabulous
gala eventCopy !req
253. as the studio woos
some new investors.Copy !req
254. Rumor is
the stakes are highCopy !req
255. with $1 billion
on the line.Copy !req
256. Let's meet
the arriving stars.Copy !req
257. Oof!Copy !req
258. Uh, I'm sorry, sir,Copy !req
259. but this is
a black tie affair.Copy !req
260. Finally, we landed.Copy !req
261. There's Thaddeus plotz with
his foreign investors now.Copy !req
262. Please tell our
honored new investorsCopy !req
263. this party is our way
of saying welcome and...Copy !req
264. heh heh heh...Copy !req
265. You're a-O.K., Partner!Copy !req
266. Ha ha ha ha.Copy !req
267. Yoko so, soshite
anat. Wa...Copy !req
268. a-O.K., Partner.Copy !req
269. Heh heh heh. Ahem.Copy !req
270. Dr. ScratchansniffCopy !req
271. is arriving with
the warner bros.Copy !req
272. Please, let those kids
behave. I want my money.Copy !req
273. Mr. Chairman,Copy !req
274. may I present...Copy !req
275. the warner bros.!Copy !req
276. Addendum—Copy !req
277. the warner sister.Copy !req
278. How do you do?Copy !req
279. Gokigen
ikaga desuka?Copy !req
280. Tokyo Wa totemo
omoshiroi tokoro desu Ne.Copy !req
281. Zehi irashite kudasai.Copy !req
282. Mada iki Basho Ga
areba Ne.Copy !req
283. How about a smile?
Please, baby,
please, baby, please.Copy !req
284. I'm putting out
a swimsuit calendar.Copy !req
285. Not while I'm eating!Copy !req
286. Good work,
Scratchansniff!Copy !req
287. I'm amazed!Copy !req
288. You did it.
The Warners behaved!Copy !req
289. Now get them out of here.Copy !req
290. What?Copy !req
291. But they did their part!Copy !req
292. I want them out!Copy !req
293. I don't have
that check yet.Copy !req
294. Get them out!Copy !req
295. Well, kids,
that's enough
for one night, eh?Copy !req
296. Huh?Copy !req
297. I don't want you
getting overtired.
It's getting late.Copy !req
298. It's off to bed
with you.Copy !req
299. Come along. Let's go
Nighty night.Copy !req
300. What are you doing?Copy !req
301. Yeah.Copy !req
302. I'm sorry.
The chairman said
you had to leave.Copy !req
303. But we behaved!Copy !req
304. Ya, I know,
and I'm sorry.Copy !req
305. Go on up.
Go on now.Copy !req
306. No dinner
with Mel Gibson?Copy !req
307. No dancing
with Michelle Pfeiffer?Copy !req
308. No chitchat
with don Knotts?Copy !req
309. I know when
we're not wanted.Copy !req
310. I know when
we should go home!Copy !req
311. Now is not
one of those times.Copy !req
312. Uh, some party, huh?Copy !req
313. Yoi paaty desune?
To itemasu.Copy !req
314. Heh heh...Copy !req
315. how do you open
this thing?Copy !req
316. I'm getting too old
for this.Copy !req
317. Hey, you want this?Copy !req
318. O.K., O.K.,
O.K., O.K., O.K.Copy !req
319. Hello,
Mr. Lethal weapon!Copy !req
320. Did you miss me?Copy !req
321. Love your hairdo.Copy !req
322. Couldn't Moe and Larry
make it? Just kidding.Copy !req
323. Do you have a friend
for my brother here?Copy !req
324. You've got a nasty
drooling problem!Copy !req
325. Argh!Copy !req
326. Not bad.Copy !req
327. But I've
got better.Copy !req
328. Oh, monster!Copy !req
329. Asoko niwarner bros.
Ga iru.Copy !req
330. The Warners?Copy !req
331. Where's
Scratchansniff?Copy !req
332. I don't want to
drive the batmobile.Copy !req
333. I just want to sit in it.Copy !req
334. I told you to send
those kids home!Copy !req
335. B-but I did!Copy !req
336. Well, they're back!Copy !req
337. You'd better
help me catch them!
They'll ruin everything!Copy !req
338. Ohh!Copy !req
339. Slappy,
did I show you this?Copy !req
340. Save it for
the jack lalane story,
bubula.Copy !req
341. You know, you remind me
of a very mature
johnny quest.Copy !req
342. Hello, kitty!Copy !req
343. Who are you?Copy !req
344. We're the warner bros.!Copy !req
345. Like the studio?Copy !req
346. Not very much.Copy !req
347. Did you know
there's a thing
in your milk?Copy !req
348. There they are!Copy !req
349. Put me on your
dance card.Copy !req
350. Is that
Barry manilow?Copy !req
351. There they are!Copy !req
352. Take over for us.Copy !req
353. No way!
No way!Copy !req
354. Way!Copy !req
355. Who says studio parties
don't rock?Copy !req
356. Let's shindig,
darling.Copy !req
357. Oh—my—those—Copy !req
358. they—Copy !req
359. Aah!Copy !req
360. Anybody got any cheese?Copy !req
361. Grrr!
Grrr!Copy !req
362. Aah!
Aah! Aah!Copy !req
363. Whoa!Copy !req
364. Whoa!Copy !req
365. Whoa!Copy !req
366. Whoa!Copy !req
367. Whoa!Copy !req
368. Whoa!Copy !req
369. Whoa!Copy !req
370. Ruin my studio,
will you?Copy !req
371. You—you—Copy !req
372. you whatever you ares!Copy !req
373. Mr. Kato would like
to know who is responsibleCopy !req
374. for all of this.Copy !req
375. It was them!
I had nothing
to do with it.Copy !req
376. They're responsible!Copy !req
377. Warner bros.
No sekinin desu.Copy !req
378. Great party!Copy !req
379. Great party!Copy !req
380. Great party!Copy !req
381. Great party!Copy !req
382. Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
383. Great party?Copy !req
384. Oh... oh, oh, yes.Copy !req
385. Uh, great party!Copy !req
386. We love
the warner bros.!Copy !req
387. And here you go.Copy !req
388. Mr. Kato presents
the check for $1 billion.Copy !req
389. You are a-O.K., Partner!Copy !req
390. C'mon, you guys.Copy !req
391. We're going to play
truth or dare.Copy !req
392. There's a lesson
to be learned in this.Copy !req
393. Ya? What's that?Copy !req
394. I have no idea,Copy !req
395. but it's worth
a billion.Copy !req
396. That's my check!
Give me that!Copy !req
397. Give me that!
That's mine!Copy !req
398. Come back here
with my money!Copy !req
399. That's my check!Copy !req
400. Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.Copy !req
401. Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
national captioning instituteCopy !req
402. goodbye, nurse!Copy !req