1. Gee, Brain,
what do you wanna do tonight?
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2. The same thing we do
every night, Pinky.
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3. Try to take over the world.
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4. At last, I've done it.
I've finished.
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5. The end.
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6. The Time Machine by H.G. Wells.
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7. Too bad it's just science
fiction and not science fact.
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8. I suppose
there are some things
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9. that man cannot meddle with.
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10. Perhaps man cannot,
my dear Mr. Wells,
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11. but mouse can.
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12. Come, Pinky.
Time to put my plan into action.
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13. Just a sec, Brain.
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14. I think I'm finally
getting somewhere.
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15. By utilizing invisible forces
of nature,
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16. we shall make
this time machine work.
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17. But how, Brain?
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18. With this.
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19. Um, Brain, it's not quite
invisible, is it?
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20. See, I can see it
quite plainly.
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21. I can even feel it.
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22. This paper clip...
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23. will serve
as an antenna,
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24. grabbing neutrinos
from the cosmos—
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25. —and providing ignition
for this craft.
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26. Astonishin', Brain.
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27. Um, will it also roast
marshmallows?
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28. Actually, it might.
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29. But first, we shall travel
back to the primordial era,
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30. alter the course of evolution,
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31. and then return
to the present
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32. to a world dominated
not by humans,
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33. but by mice.
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34. And they shall choose me
as their leader.
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35. Egad, Brain.
Brilliant!
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36. Oh. Oh, wait.
No, no.
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37. Um, why will they pick you?
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38. Because I'm very likable.
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39. Now, Pinky, let us begin
a journey that will end
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40. when mice rule the Earth.
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41. A house divided cannot stand.
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42. Let them eat cake.
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43. I came, I saw, I conquered.
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44. Here we are, Pinky,
at the dawn of time.
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45. Narf, Brain.
Wake me at the noon of time.
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46. What was that?
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47. Engine knock.
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48. Behold, Pinky.
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49. Our ancient prehistoric
ancestor.
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50. Uh.
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51. This is a crucial time
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52. in the development
of our two species.
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53. What, lunch?
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54. We will teach
the prehistoric mice
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55. how to leap up
and grab the best food.
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56. They will eat it
and grow strong,
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57. leaving the crumbs
for mankind.
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58. Our ancestors
will prevail.
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59. Narf! Whoo!
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60. These are fun, Brain!
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61. Wee!
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62. Narf! Poit! D'oh! Eee!
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63. Ah! Aie! Doi!
Poit! D'oh!
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64. Pinky,
cease and desist.
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65. Unhand me,
you future Neanderthal.
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66. Where are we going now, Brain?
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67. Forward, to another
key evolutionary moment,
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68. after a brief stopover
in 1853.
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69. Why 1853, Brain?
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70. Because, Pinky,
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71. that's when aspirin
was invented.
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72. Pinky, if mice have weapons
before man,
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73. they can rule
the bearded bipeds.
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74. We must demonstrate this
to our ancestors.
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75. Right.
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76. With this charming selection,
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77. you'll just wow them
at the cookout.
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78. And the tops are removable
for easy cleaning. Narf.
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79. Some mice have more evolving
to do than others.
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80. Observe how technology
triumphs.
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81. We're too late.
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82. All is not lost, Pinky.
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83. We can still travel forward
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84. to the next key moment
in mouse evolution.
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85. Then we will return
to a time when—
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86. Oh, oh, oh,
can I say it this time, Brain?
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87. Oh, all right.
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88. When mice rule the Earth!
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89. If mice are first
to control fire,
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90. they will rise above mankind.
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91. Look,
primitive Neolithic rodents.
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92. Look and learn.
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93. One of the primal forces
of nature.
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94. That would be pain.
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95. Yeah.
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96. No, Pinky, fire.
Show them how to make fire.
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97. Oh, right. Of course.
Ahem.
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98. Okay, first then,
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99. you take this thingy here,
right?
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100. And then this thingy here,
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101. and you smash 'em together
like this:
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102. Poit.
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103. Egad, Brain.
I did it.
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104. I discovered fire.
Yes.
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105. Oh!
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106. Oh, blessed relief.
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107. Narf. Here, you try.
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108. I'm comin', Brain!
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109. Narf. Poit.
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110. Oooga-booga!
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111. Ooga-booga! Narf!
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112. Zounds, I guess I saved you,
Brain.
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113. Actually, Pinky, that woolly
mammoth was the only thing
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114. keeping the saber-toothed
tiger at bay.
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115. Look, Pinky.
We've succeeded.
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116. They've learned
to make fire.
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117. We made it, Brain.
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118. Yes, Pinky.
Let us return to 1895.
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119. Egad, Brain.
We're giant mice.
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120. Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?
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121. I think so, Brain,
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122. but culottes have
a tendency to ride up so.
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123. No, Pinky.
We're not giants.
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124. We're just the same.
It's the world that's changed.
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125. For I have created
a new world,
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126. a mouse world,
a perfect world.
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127. Narf.
Poit. Egad.
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128. Poit, narf, egad.
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129. Poit, narf.
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130. Narf.
Poit.
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131. Egad.
Zoit.
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132. Zounds.
Poit.
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133. Egad.
Poit.
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134. Zounds.
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135. Narf.
Poit.
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136. Egad.
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137. Quickly, Pinky.
We must return to the past.
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138. I must change it all
back again.
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139. But why, Brain?
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140. It'd be easy to rule
a world of mice like them.
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141. Poit.
Egad.
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142. Zoit.
Zort.
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143. Yes, Pinky,
but who would want to?
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144. Narf.
Poit.
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145. Egad.
Poit.
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146. Whoa, Wakko, Dot, hold up.
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147. Why?
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148. It's that time again.
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149. Oh, no.
Not the Wheel of Morality.
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150. Afraid so. It's time to learn
the moral of today's story.
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151. No! No!
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152. Hey, come on.
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153. The Wheel of Morality
adds boring educational value
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154. to what would otherwise be
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155. an almost entirely
entertaining program.
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156. But the morals
make no sense.
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157. It's totally bogus.
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158. Who came up with this stupid
Wheel of Morality idea, anyway?
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159. The execs
at the Fox Kids Network.
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160. Oh.
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161. They did?
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162. What a great idea.
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163. Yeah, I love
the Wheel of Morality.
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164. So...
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165. Wheel of Morality
Turn, turn, turn
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166. Tell us the lesson
That we should learn
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167. And the moral
of today's show is...
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168. win a free trip to Tahiti.
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169. We won, we won, we won, we won!
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170. Yike!
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171. Good night, everybody!
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172. Bye!
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173. Spoil your dinner.
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174. Ciao, America.
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