1. Newsreel of the Stars.
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2. Hollywood, 1930.
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3. The Warner Bros. Studio.
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4. Here at the studio's
new animation department,
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5. the artists toil endlessly
to come up with cartoon stars,
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6. ultimately creating
three new characters:
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7. the Warner brothers
and their sister, Dot.
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8. Hello, nurse!
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9. Unfortunately, the Warner kids
were totally out of control.
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10. Boingie! Boingie!
Boingie! Boingie!
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11. The trio ran amok
throughout the studio.
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12. Until their capture.
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13. The Warners' films,
which made absolutely no sense,
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14. were locked away
in the studio vault,
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15. never to be released.
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16. As for the Warners themselves,
they were locked away
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17. in the studio water tower,
also never to be released.
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18. Publicly, the studio
has disavowed
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19. any knowledge of the Warners'
existence to this very day,
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20. when the Warners escaped.
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21. In 1620,
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22. an intrepid group of pilgrims
in search of freedom
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23. sailed from England
and landed on Plymouth Rock.
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24. And here on the coast
of New England,
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25. they established
the Plymouth Colony.
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26. After their difficult
first year,
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27. they decided to celebrate
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28. their freedom
and their first harvest
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29. with a great feast.
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30. But of what food
shall we eat?
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31. I'll maketh my okra quiche.
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32. Oh! I'll maketh
salmon tacos.
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33. I'll maketh
curly Cajun fries.
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34. Oh, I love thy curly Cajun
fries. They are to dieth for.
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35. Noooo!
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36. We shall eat
of the great native bird...
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37. the turkey.
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38. Those gobbley things?
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39. Oh, they art the dickens
to catcheth.
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40. Oh, yes.
Very elusive.
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41. Tricky creatures.
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42. Tough to nabeth.
Very tough.
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43. Yes, very tough.
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44. I should sayeth so.
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45. Not for Miles Standish.
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46. And so the pilgrims'
bravest hunter and marksman
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47. went forth to bringeth back
the main course: a turkey.
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48. Bye!
Bye!
Bye-bye!
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49. Bye-bye!
Bye!
Buh-bye-bye!
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50. Good luck to thee,
Brother Standish.
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51. And don't forget
the cranberry sauce.
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52. Shh!
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53. Be vewy, vewy quiet.
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54. I'm hunting wab—
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55. Go away.
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56. Thanks a lot, pal.
These are rentals.
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57. You'll be hearing
from our lawyer.
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58. Ye be not turkeys.
What be ye?
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59. Tourist.
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60. I be Yakking Yak.
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61. I be Wakko Who Waltzes
With Wolves.
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62. And I be
Princess Pretty Dear,
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63. who moves like
a springtime-fresh gazelle,
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64. sweet as honey, and is sweet.
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65. But you can call me Dot.
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66. Or are you the kind of guy
who never calls a girl?
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67. You cad! I'm leaving you.
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68. I'm going home to mother!
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69. Nyah!
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70. And I'm keeping
the ring!
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71. And this is our pet.
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72. Say hello to Mr. Gobble.
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73. Hello.
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74. And goodbye.
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75. Hey, who do you
think you are?
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76. I be Miles Standish
from yon pilgrim colony.
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77. Nice hat, Miles.
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78. Hey, listen,
it's not too neighborly
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79. to shoot other people's pets,
you know.
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80. That bird I doth need
for our great feast.
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81. No, please. Not Mr. Gobble.
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82. Take me. Take me.
Go on.
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83. But spare the bird.
We love him so.
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84. Oh, please.
Spare the simple creature.
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85. Congratulations.
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86. It pays to overact.
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87. You be strange creatures.
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88. We're not creatures.
We're Native Americans.
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89. Thou dost not look
like Native Americans.
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90. Confidentially,
we're adopted.
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91. Yeah, it's a heck of a story.
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92. Lost in the wilderness.
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93. We were raised
by a flock of turkeys.
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94. We'd like to
tell you more,
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95. but we're saving it
for a movie of the week.
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96. Who do you think should play me?
Valerie Bertinelli?
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97. I do not know this name.
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98. How about Nancy McKeon?
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99. Or Jackie Smith could be good
for a more mature look.
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100. Move away,
for yon bird is dinner.
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101. But he's our pet.
We love him!
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102. I care not.
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103. Why? Haven't you
ever had a pet?
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104. No. Well...
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105. yes, but...
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106. 'twas long ago
when I was but a boy.
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107. My dear pet hamster.
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108. I called him
"Petey Pajamas."
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109. Yes, tell me
all about Petey.
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110. Oh, I didst love
that hamster so.
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111. I tooketh him to bed
with me every night, you know.
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112. Goodnight, everybody.
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113. Oh, golly, yes.
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114. And I did knit him
teeny-tiny pajamas to wear.
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115. He slept on my nose.
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116. I misseth him so.
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117. My wittle Petey Pajamas.
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118. There, there.
It's all right.
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119. Nappy-nap time for
our cranky pilgrim friend.
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120. Huh?
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121. Sweet dreams.
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122. And stay away
from our pet turkey.
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123. This be
a rough neighborhood.
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124. Oh, fowl that be called turk,
I shall have thee.
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125. Shhh!
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126. I doth hear it,
but doth not see it.
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127. I am baffled most verily.
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128. There ye be.
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129. Us again!
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130. Mmm-mwah!
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131. Be gone, pests,
and give me the bird.
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132. We'd love to, really, but
the Fox censors won't allow it.
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133. Say thy prayers, beast.
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134. Hut-hut-hut, wait, my son.
Is this the answer?
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135. Using a gun
on a helpless creature?
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136. Well, I—
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137. You might poke
someone's eye out
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138. with that thing.
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139. And you'd break
your mother's heart.
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140. Not to mention
Petey Pajamas'.
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141. Yak no more!
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142. And give me back mine musket.
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143. Mine musket.
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144. Why, you little...
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145. Ahh!
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146. Who wants
maple syrup?
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147. I do! I do!
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148. It's made out of sap,
you know.
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149. I doth have no musket,
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150. but I shall still
naileth yon bird.
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151. Nice shot.
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152. Thank ye.
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153. But it'll never make it.
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154. Pray tell, why not?
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155. 'Cause of the piano.
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156. Piano?
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157. Argh!
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158. Oof!
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159. Whoa, dumber
than advertised.
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160. What be the meaning
of this? I— I— I...
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161. Ooh, hey,
there's a surprise inside.
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162. Why, ye— I— I...
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163. Looky, Mr. Gobble. Supper.
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164. Yipes!
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165. Whoa, get thee away!
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166. Desist! Forsooth! Gadzooks!
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167. I can't watch.
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168. Keep it away. It be a killer!
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169. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
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170. I am finished with thee!
All of thee!
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171. Now, hither, go!
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172. Leaveth me be!
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173. You'll be lonely
if we go away.
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174. No, I won't.
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175. Yes, you will.
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176. No, I won't.
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177. Yes, you will.
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178. No, I won't!
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179. Yes, you will.
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180. I wilt not be lonely!
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181. Now, go!
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182. Hello?
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183. Hello?
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184. Hello?
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185. Ist anyone there?
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186. They kiddeth not.
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187. I am... lonely.
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188. I be lonely.
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189. Told you so.
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190. Did you miss us?
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191. Mmm-mwah!
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192. We doth welcome
our native neighbors
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193. to our great feast.
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194. Now, what be this
thou hast brought?
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195. Why, a great turkey,
of course.
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196. Then with this feast,
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197. we shall give thanks
and call it...
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198. um...
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199. St. Patty's Day?
Halloween?
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200. Arbor Day?
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201. Shrove Tuesday?
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202. Cinco de Mayo?
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203. How about "Thanksgiving"?
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204. This be a great name.
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205. Thank ye.
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206. Always glad
to be of service.
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