1. Gee, Brain.
What do you wanna do tonight?
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2. The same thing we do
every night, Pinky.
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3. Try to take over the world.
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4. Can I stop now, Brain?
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5. Not until I finish
my demonstration.
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6. When I build my reverse
geotropic arrester, Pinky,
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7. and throw it from
the North Pole like this:
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8. In a matter of seconds,
the cable will become taut,
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9. gravity will cease,
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10. and everyone will fly off
the face of the Earth—
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11. —leaving us alone
to assume control.
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12. Egad, Brain.
Brilliant.
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13. Oh, wait. No, no.
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14. What's going to keep us
from flying off the Earth?
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15. We will duct-tape ourselves
to a tree.
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16. Unfortunately,
we still need to raise money
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17. to buy a 1 billion-ton magnet.
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18. But I have a solution.
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19. Tomorrow is the running
of the Kentucky Derby.
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20. Do you know what that is?
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21. Um...
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22. Oh, a very large hat?
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23. Promise me something, Pinky.
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24. Never breed.
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25. I'll try.
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26. The Kentucky Derby is the
biggest horserace of the year.
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27. There's a $1,000,000 purse
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28. going to the jockey
riding the winning horse,
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29. and I am going
to win that purse!
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30. Zort, Brain,
a million-dollar purse?
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31. Oh, you're going to need
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32. matching pumps
and earrings for that.
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33. Focus, Pinky, focus.
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34. Now, watch.
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35. Voilà!
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36. Narf!
Oh, Brain, I get it.
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37. You're a beautiful
lawn ornament.
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38. Look at me, narf.
I'm a pink flamingo.
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39. I'm a cement deer.
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40. Oh, I'm one of the seven dwarfs,
Brain.
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41. Stop it, Pinky,
or I shall have to hurt you.
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42. Oh, righto, Brain. Narf.
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43. Now, let us make haste,
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44. for we have much to do
before the race begins.
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45. Poit.
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46. First, Pinky,
we must visit the stables.
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47. Inside, we will find
the winning horse.
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48. Uh, how are we gonna do that,
Brain?
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49. The Racing Form, Pinky.
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50. By analyzing
the velocity-based pace line,
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51. mile turf win,
and Beyer Speed Figures,
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52. we'll find
a Grade 1 stakes claimer
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53. who'll give us
a key-horse situation.
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54. Uh, can't we just ride
the pretty one?
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55. Heavens, they're multiplying.
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56. This is a business trip, Pinky.
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57. Oh, right. Sorry, Brain.
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58. Here is our horse.
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59. "Daddy's Little Angel."
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60. Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?
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61. Well, I think so,
Brain,
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62. but isn't Regis Philbin
already married?
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63. The race, Pinky.
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64. By combining the statistics
and my low body weight,
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65. this horse cannot lose.
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66. The prize money will be ours.
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67. Now, I must take the place
of the real jockey.
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68. Hello?
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69. Is this the jockey who's going
to ride Daddy's Little Angel?
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70. Yeah.
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71. This is Ed McMahon for
Publishers Smearing House.
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72. You've just won $10,000,000.
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73. I won $10,000,000.
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74. I won $10,000,000!
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75. I am outta here! Later!
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76. Louie! Louie!
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77. Later!
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78. Who's gonna ride my horse?
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79. I mean, Louie is the smallest,
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80. lightest jockey
in the entire world.
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81. Not anymore.
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82. You're a jockey?
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83. Actually, I am a mouse
in the early stages
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84. of an elaborate scheme
to take over the world.
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85. Well, fine.
We all need a hobby,
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86. but will you ride my horse?
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87. I shall ride and win.
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88. Oh, thank you. Thank you!
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89. Let's weigh him in.
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90. Saddle, 7 pounds.
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91. Saddle and rider,
7 pounds, 3 ounces.
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92. A genetically perfect jockey.
This is fantastic.
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93. Let's look
into early retirement.
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94. Here come the horses,
ladies and gentlemen,
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95. for the running
of the Kentucky Derby.
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96. Oh, isn't this exciting,
Brain?
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97. Pinky,
what are you doing here?
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98. Your weight will disrupt
my winning calculations.
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99. But, Brain,
it's too exciting. I—
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100. Oh, hello.
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101. Pinky, the race
is starting.
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102. And they're off!
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103. Wow! Zort. Poit!
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104. On the inside corner
it's Isle of Yap in the lead,
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105. followed by Flameel and Leggo
My Egoiste on the inside rail.
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106. And coming up strong
on the outside
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107. is Daddy's Little Angel.
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108. And Phar Fignewton
trails far behind.
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109. On the backstretch,
coming into the final turn,
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110. it's Isle of Yap, Flameel,
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111. and Daddy's Little Angel
is passing them all.
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112. Yah! Yah!
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113. Zort! Oof!
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114. And Daddy's Little Angel
takes the lead by two lengths,
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115. followed by Isle of Yap,
Flameel, Leggo My Egoiste,
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116. and way back there,
Phar Fignewton.
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117. Huh?
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118. Phar Fignewton is coming up
like a rocket on the outside.
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119. It's Daddy's Little Angel
and Phar Fignewton.
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120. Oh, no.
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121. Yah! Yah! Yah!
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122. And at the wire,
it's Phar Fignewton.
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123. Phar Fignewton
wins it all!
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124. In the words of the great
Willie Shoemaker, "Nuts!"
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125. Pinky, will you
please stop that?
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126. I'm trying to concentrate
on tomorrow night.
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127. Mwah. Why, Brain?
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128. What are we gonna do
tomorrow night?
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129. Guess.
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130. Oh, yeah. Trying to take over
the world. Right.
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131. And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.
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132. "Fuzzy Wuzzy."
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133. Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
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134. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy
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135. So he changed his name
to Ed Asner
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136. Thank you.
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137. This has been another visit
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
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138. Spew!
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