American Vandal 2x1

1. All right, all set.

2. Okay, you ready?

3. Yeah.

4. So, do you mind walking us through what happened on November 6th?

5. Um, yeah, it was...

6. I actually remember, it was a really nice day.

7. It had been rainy and cold all week.

8. I didn't know was going to be so much warmer,

9. so I wore tights.

10. I really wish I hadn't.

11. It was really just a normal day.

12. I don't know how else to describe it.

13. I started the day on traffic duty.

14. Mrs. Worthy tried to drop Brian off in the bus lane again,

15. but other than that,

16. there was nothing out of the ordinary.

17. Then in second period, there was a scheduled fire drill.

18. We do those, like, twice a year, so I didn't really think anything of it.

19. I got to miss a math test, so I was pretty happy about that.

20. I had first lunch that day.

21. I got there earlier than usual 'cause it was Chicken Finger Monday.

22. Chicken Finger Monday.

23. [Lil K] Those things are damn good.

24. Chicken fingers are very popular.

25. They're actually pretty solid chicken fingers.

26. They're not restaurant quality, but they're better than what you'd think.

27. I had a salad that day.

28. I think, a cookie and lemonade.

29. I had the chicken fingers for lunch with potatoes and lemonade.

30. Chicken fingers, chips, lemonade—

31. - Spaghetti and lemonade— - Pasta, lemonade—

32. A cookie, a lemonade—

33. - I got the spaghetti and lemonade. - Lemonade.

34. - ... and lemonade. - Pasta, lemonade.

35. - ... and lemonade. - Lemonade.

36. - Lemonade. - I had the lemonade.

37. So I was talking to Noah McCusker about something and...

38. and he just stops.

39. Mid-sentence.

40. I'll never forget the look on his face.

41. It was like time stopped for a second.

42. A couple of students just started rushing away

43. and I didn't even know it was going on.

44. It took me a minute to process.

45. It didn't really hit me right away.

46. And then it really hit me.

47. I had to shit.

48. And I looked around me and everyone else had to shit too.

49. All of a sudden, kids aren't making it into the bathroom,

50. because our our bathrooms weren't designed for that many people.

51. It was just a race to the closest toilet.

52. So I was already in the stalls.

53. Immediately after, people just started, like,

54. swarming in.

55. I couldn't even get out.

56. It wasn't a line to the bathroom.

57. Seriously! Hurry up! Are you done yet?

58. It was a pile.

59. I realized there was no way I was gonna make it to the bathroom,

60. so I grabbed a trash can.

61. People were just trying to find a place where they could put their shit.

62. I was desperate.

63. I just pooped on the floor.

64. People were shitting in urinals and sinks. It was crazy.

65. I've been at St. Bernardine for a long time.

66. I can tell you,

67. this was the worst thing I've seen at this school in 20 years.

68. - 9-1-1, what's your emergency?

69. I'm calling from St. Bernardine Catholic.

70. Yes, ma'am? - Our students... I don't know how to say.

71. They're all sick, they're all... They're all pooping.

72. It happened around lunchtime.

73. It was just a few students and then all of them started running—

74. I wanted to die.

75. We had no choice.

76. I mean, most of us just shit our pants right in front of everyone.

77. I realized right away

78. this wasn't the work of spoiled fish sticks.

79. This was an attack.

80. Before it was all over, it had a name.

81. "The Brownout."

82. The Brownout was the worst day of my life.

83. Mrs. Wexler, the Dean of Students, canceled all remaining classes.

84. - Oh, my God. - [Lil K] So after lunch,

85. they call school off for the whole rest of the day.

86. My parents came to pick me up,

87. I go home,

88. I take a long shower,

89. and I look at my phone and I see this notification.

90. I got tagged in a video by the Turd Burglar.

91. The Turd Burglar...

92. I got tagged in a video.

93. I didn't know who it was,

94. but he knew just about everybody that shit themselves that day.

95. He was taunting us with his captions.

96. "Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner...

97. poo emoji is made."

98. At this point it's clear

99. it wasn't an accident, because someone's claiming credit.

100. Honestly I didn't know a single person

101. who wasn't following the Turd Burglar after that.

102. He got, like, 800 followers in one day.

103. There was no name, no face.

104. Just a bunch of pictures of poop and the Brownout.

105. A bunch of us tried to message him, but he never DM'd

106. or followed anyone back.

107. He posted a picture of the lemonade dispenser.

108. What caught my eye right away was this card,

109. @theturdburglar,

110. and right away I thought, "Here we go."

111. We got something really serious going on.

112. This guy wanted an audience.

113. For the next two weeks, all anybody could talk about was...

114. "Who is the Turd Burglar?"

115. In April of 2016,

116. Sam Ecklund and I began shooting American Vandal,

117. in hopes of getting Hanover High School's school board

118. to reexamine the case of Dylan Maxwell,

119. a high school senior accused of drawing dicks,

120. a crime he didn't commit.

121. And it worked.

122. But we never anticipated the reaction from the rest of the world.

123. Vimeo made it a Staff Pick, and before we knew it,

124. it got hundreds of thousands of views.

125. And then,

126. we got an email.

127. At first, I thought it was Sam messing with me,

128. but it was real

129. and it was from Netflix.

130. Netflix allowed us to reach a wider audience

131. and to add some additional production value,

132. like drone shots, an original score, opening credits,

133. and 3D graphics.

134. It brought new life to our documentary,

135. even though many the fans thought the changes robbed it

136. of some of the Vimeo version's original charm.

137. Since season one was released on Netflix,

138. the response has been incredible.

139. Please welcome Peter Maldonado and Sam Ecklund.

140. It put us on the national stage in a way we could have never anticipated.

141. The biggest question facing this country right now...

142. - who drew the dicks?

143. I'm telling you all this for context.

144. Because with all this attention came a lot of pressure,

145. and a lot of opinions on what kind of a case to take on next.

146. There was a staggering number of people

147. who contacted us about their schools' dick-drawing controversies.

148. For example,

149. someone burnt a dick into the 50-yard line of their school's football field.

150. I'm not sure if it was weed killer or, you know, lighter fluid,

151. but we had to re-sod the whole field.

152. Then there was a spray-painting vagina vandal in Texas,

153. a serial pool-pisser in a high school in Wisconsin,

154. a Navy pilot who drew a dick in the sky,

155. and a real murder,

156. that for some reason someone thought Sam and I should figure out.

157. But with the exception of that murder,

158. nothing seemed worth a deeper investigation,

159. until I was contacted by Chloe Lyman.

160. Hi, Peter.

161. My name is Chloe Lyman and I'm a junior at St. Bernardine Catholic.

162. I'm contacting you today because we have a vandal.

163. He goes by the name "The Turd Burglar."

164. This one really grabbed me.

165. The Hanover High dicks were a financial headache for some teachers,

166. but what happened at St. Bernardine was a different animal.

167. The Turd Burglar, an anonymous digital entity,

168. was waging psychological warfare on the students and teachers

169. of one of the most affluent high schools in the country.

170. A school whose alumni donors include two billionaires and a senator.

171. A school with a nationally ranked basketball program.

172. A school that, according to Chloe Lyman,

173. cared about its reputation above all else.

174. Because, I'm telling you, this school has secrets,

175. secrets that go all the way up to the top.

176. So after giving a presentation to our teachers at Hanover High,

177. Sam and I were approved to make the Turd Burglar investigation

178. our senior project.

179. In December of 2017,

180. we headed up to Bellevue, Washington

181. with a small crew and brand new equipment.

182. Chloe's parents let Sam and I stay at their house.

183. Hi.

184. - Oh my God, hi. - Hey.

185. - Thanks for letting us stay. - Nice to meet you.

186. She seemed to know a lot about the mystery surrounding the Turd Burglar,

187. so I thought it was a good idea to stay with her.

188. Also, her house is sick.

189. Don't drop it.

190. Twelve hundred miles north of Oceanside,

191. we found ourselves in a completely new world,

192. at the scene of the crime:

193. St. Bernardine Catholic High School.

194. This is beautiful.

195. This is the east gym.

196. You guys really aren't messing around when it comes to basketball, are you?

197. Kind of a lot.

198. St. Bernardine is a school with great pride,

199. so it's no wonder the Turd Burglar

200. was able to terrorize the entire community.

201. Well, Jim, police are still very active on scene here.

202. They're just trying to get whatever information they can.

203. Since Monday, the police are turning their attention to Instagram

204. and their parent company Facebook...

205. an anonymous account, @theturdburglar,

206. is taking credit for the crime.

207. Bellevue Police Department have released a joint statement

208. "The acts of the Turd Burglar are unacceptable."

209. After the Brownout, everyone was on edge.

210. All these kids didn't show up to school the next day.

211. Were these parents pulling these kids out or were they still shitting?

212. Nobody wanted to make eye contact after that.

213. It was really hard to do after you saw everybody else shit.

214. Turd Burglar kept threatening to hit us again,

215. but no one knew how.

216. Anytime I smelled anything rotten,

217. heard anything that sounded like a fart,

218. I would instantly think of the quickest route to the bathroom.

219. My phone was ringing off the hook from concerned parents

220. who were threatening to pull their kids out of school.

221. The administration was coming up empty,

222. and we just couldn't sit there doing nothing.

223. I promise you, we are taking the incident extremely seriously.

224. I have a daughter who has hemorrhoids.

225. I have a question.

226. Do you know how hard it is to clean poo out of a monogrammed sweater?

227. Do you know how expensive it is to try to get poo out of a sweater?

228. You'll make a receipt that I can turn in to the insurance company.

229. A receipt?

230. Well, a week after the incident, we were still grasping at straws.

231. - Hi.

232. So we decided to open it up

233. and interview every student at the school.

234. We followed every potential lead. You have to.

235. So, a few students came to us,

236. telling us that Savannah Hagedorn was a big fan of the school lemonade,

237. so much so that she...

238. She often had three lemonades at a single lunch sitting.

239. Have a seat.

240. Why would she choose that one day to bring a Capri Sun for lunch?

241. It turns out Savannah didn't even like the regular, yellow cafeteria lemonade.

242. She drinks the pink lemonade from the vending machine.

243. I didn't realize there was some in the vending machines too.

244. Yeah, okay.

245. So that lead was nothing.

246. I'm pretty sure this was Jared Wilkinson.

247. Why is that, that you think it's Jared?

248. He's kind of into scat porn...

249. type stuff.

250. Then we looked in the Jared Wilkinson.

251. His classmates told us he was really into certain videos.

252. He watches it a lot?

253. Yeah, kind of at school.

254. Sex with... with feces?

255. Sex with it, or...?

256. How is the poop involved in the videos, do you know?

257. No, I wasn't there for the Brownout. Um...

258. I was out. I had a doctor's appointment.

259. He had a completely solid alibi.

260. Turns out he wasn't even in school that day.

261. So, another lead that went nowhere.

262. We heard dozens of stories,

263. and students were coming to us with guesses

264. and accusations that went nowhere.

265. Parents were pulling their students from school.

266. The media had a field day.

267. We were 16 days into our investigation

268. and we still had nothing.

269. That's when Tanner Bassett came to us.

270. State your name, please.

271. It's Tanner Bassett.

272. What do you want to tell us?

273. I think I know who the Turd Burglar is.

274. It's Kevin McClain.

275. Tanner says that the Turd Burglar is his friend Kevin McClain,

276. and you could tell that it was weighing on Tanner.

277. And that the guilt was building up.

278. And he says that he believes that Kevin's going to strike again.

279. So,

280. he does the right thing and he...

281. he turns him in.

282. [Lil K] Kevin's kind of weird. But, like, a lot of kids are weird here.

283. What made it legit is that it was Tanner who called him out.

284. Tanner and Kevin, they're, like, inseparable.

285. This wasn't just a blind accusation.

286. This was coming from Kevin's best friend.

287. How long have you known Kevin?

288. Uh, since kindergarten.

289. He lived in the house diagonally across from me.

290. Fair to say that you know him very well?

291. Yeah, probably better than anybody.

292. We carpool together, we're in...

293. Uh, we were in a band together. You know, played music.

294. [Lil K] I think their band was called the Horsehead,

295. or the Horsehead Collective or something.

296. Their music was kind of experimental.

297. We're gonna play one of our originals, uh...

298. "Digital Refrigerator."

299. So when I was in the eighth grade,

300. I thought they were so good and they were so cool.

301. Yeah, back in middle school, I kinda liked them.

302. But now I realize they're awful.

303. They DJ'd a middle school dance and they played one of their songs.

304. It was the worst song I've ever heard in my life.

305. It made sense why the kids bullied them about the music.

306. Uh, it was garbage.

307. Tanner, would you say, uh...

308. that Kevin is, you know, bullied?

309. Kids will often laugh at him

310. rather than with him sometimes.

311. In a situation where a student lashes out at his school,

312. especially this case where there's so much planning involved,

313. we're looking for a student that's alienated

314. by the rest of the school.

315. Kevin fits this profile to a T.

316. It's tougher to spot bullying these days.

317. You know, it's much more subtle.

318. Hey, Fruit Ninja! It used to be right in your face.

319. Shove you into a locker, take your lunch money.

320. But now these kids are going right up to him with a phone

321. throwing fruit at him and he,

322. you know, tries to fight it off.

323. And then they'll post that video, share it around, comment,

324. make fun of him, tease him behind his back.

325. - Everyone called him the Fruit Ninja. Fruit Ninja!

326. Fruit Ninja!

327. You can't throw a watermelon at me.

328. Matt Hahn made this blog called Shit Kevin Says.

329. I got the idea when Kevin started posting reviews

330. of teas from around the world.

331. I was like, "More kids need to see this."

332. You want to be sure

333. to suck in quite a bit of air as you taste

334. so as to create a vapor

335. that reaches all surfaces of your mouth for a full experience.

336. So, Kevin,

337. he's like one of those guys who's constantly

338. doing an impression of a smart guy.

339. Truly a delight.

340. It's really cruel stuff.

341. The kids share his webcam videos,

342. dress as him for Halloween.

343. They post all the pictures online.

344. It's as clear as day.

345. He's bullied.

346. In my experience,

347. what Kevin went through

348. is exactly the kind of bullying

349. that would push an adolescent over the edge.

350. Did he tell you that he poisoned the lemonade?

351. No, he didn't tell me,

352. but I know he did it.

353. How?

354. Well, I was with him that whole lunch,

355. and we bought our lunch together like we always do.

356. And normally we'd go right from the cashier

357. straight to our table,

358. but that day he goes all the way around the edge of the cafeteria,

359. which I thought was odd

360. 'cause he's really particular about his routine.

361. Then I saw him bump into Brother Buckley

362. and spill his lemonade.

363. I couldn't really hear what was going on,

364. but it seemed like Kevin was apologizing for not looking where he was going.

365. But it didn't look like an accident to me.

366. You think Kevin...

367. bumped into Brother Buckley intentionally?

368. - Yeah. - Why?

369. Because Brother Buckley's old.

370. Like, old people die on the toilet all the time,

371. and everybody knows that Brother Buckley's been having health issues, so...

372. What was going to prevent Brother Buckley

373. - from just getting another lemonade? - Well, because...

374. Kevin replaced it for him.

375. He did?

376. But he didn't get the lemonade, he got the...

377. he got the horchata.

378. And Kevin said that the horchata is better than lemonade,

379. and that he wanted to get Buckley a treat

380. because he felt bad, but, I mean, I thought that was weird.

381. The horchata was a big deal to us.

382. Why buy a horchata to replace a lemonade?

383. It's $1.25 more.

384. And who knows if Brother Buckley even liked horchata?

385. A lot of people don't. I don't.

386. Cinnamon and milk?

387. As soon as Tanner told us about the horchata,

388. we knew we were onto something.

389. Did he seem nervous?

390. - Did he seem like he was hiding anything? - Definitely.

391. I mean, all that day,

392. before the Brownout.

393. Um, even the night before.

394. That's when I noticed it, is when we went to Dawsey's.

395. He was driving me home,

396. and we decided to go to Dawsey's like we usually do.

397. And the free samples guy,

398. he gives us unlimited samples,

399. but he has no idea that he's doing it.

400. So Kevin came up with this:

401. So we'd go up to him and say, "Hey, man..."

402. May I? - "... can I have a meatball?"

403. And the guy would say, "Yeah, sure. Have a meatball."

404. Then Kevin would go around the aisle

405. and he'd come back and do some voice.

406. He'd go, "Hello.

407. Can I have a meatball?" And the guy would be like,

408. "Oh, sure. Have a meatball."

409. And he has no idea.

410. One time Kevin ate eight meatballs.

411. Delectable! Thank you!

412. That's just what we'd do at Dawsey's.

413. We'd dupe this guy into giving us however many samples.

414. So— So we get to Dawsey's, and that's what I think we're gonna do,

415. just get some free samples.

416. I walk to the sample station,

417. and I realized Kevin's not following me.

418. I don't know where he went. So it's weird.

419. I got some pigs in a blanket, but..

420. Kevin's buying something else. And I just see him walking out of Dawsey's

421. with a big bag.

422. Of samples? A huge— No.

423. A huge bag filled with something, I don't know what's in there.

424. What did you think was in there? Well, I asked him.

425. He said, "Nothing." He seemed nervous.

426. So it was probably the laxatives.

427. Kevin makes a substantial purchase at Dawsey's,

428. and your best friend asks you, "What's in the bag?"

429. and you refuse to tell him.

430. Did you see him bring the Dawsey's bag to school the next day?

431. No, it's just...

432. But he could've hid it in his backpack, right?

433. Anything else you can remember from the day of the Brownout?

434. Anything that was sort of unusual or out of the ordinary—?

435. Yeah, just...

436. Remember I was telling you that we always sit at the same table?

437. Well, that day...

438. Kevin chose a different lunch table.

439. Very early into that lunch, I knew something was off.

440. I just noticed some people weren't where they were supposed to be.

441. So, I remember seeing Shaun Sacoda sitting next to Declan Maniscalo,

442. and the lacrosse guys,

443. the one with the "Runner Boy" at the end of it,

444. which is weird, because Sean usually sits with Nick Sondergoth and those guys.

445. Usually Declan does, too.

446. So then I look to Nick, and I realize

447. that Dec and Sacoda aren't sitting with Nick Sondergoth

448. or Lissa Brasington and Monty Calamaway,

449. because sitting next to Nick

450. is Tanner Bassett and Kevin McClain.

451. And I don't think it was random.

452. Why?

453. Because he was sitting across from Nick Sondergoth.

454. Okay.

455. I'm sorry, who is Nick Sondergoth?

456. Nick is somebody that Kevin's hated since the sixth grade.

457. Why?

458. Because he ruined Kevin's life.

459. Kevin was just the nicest kid.

460. I moved to Bellevue when I was in the fourth grade,

461. so I didn't know anybody and I was really shy.

462. So I was really lucky to find Kevin.

463. And I know it sounds weird to say

464. that someone was popular in fourth grade,

465. but Kevin was just...

466. kind of a kid that everyone really liked.

467. Kevin wasn't always weird.

468. Back then he was just a normal kid.

469. It just really sucks what happened to him.

470. Before St. Bernie, a lot of kids went to St. Damascus Elementary.

471. I was in that gym class with Kevin.

472. I remember it pretty clearly.

473. Back then, we all wore the same gym shorts.

474. They were light blue.

475. The kind that would easily get a grass stain or a dirt mark.

476. Kevin sucked at Capture the Flag,

477. so he gets tagged out, like, immediately.

478. Kevin's sitting in jail

479. and someone made a jailbreak.

480. I think was Adam Kimbrough.

481. He tags Kevin free and Kevin gets up.

482. He's got this stain on his shorts,

483. right on his butt.

484. Kevin said was dirt, but nobody was buying it.

485. It really looked like he shit his pants.

486. It was funny, but that was kind of it.

487. Gym class ended and everyone forgot about it.

488. Until the next morning.

489. Apparently, Nick Sondergoth took a picture of Kevin

490. while we were in gym class and posted it the next day.

491. The caption for that picture

492. was "Shit Stain McClain."

493. He became Shit Stain McClain.

494. I mean, kids can be really cruel.

495. Hey, Shit Stain McClain!

496. That name,

497. "Shit Stain McClain,"

498. it destroyed Kevin. It was really bad for him.

499. And it was huge for Nick Sondergoth.

500. Kevin was cool. Like, he had friends before that.

501. He went from a 35-person birthday party in the fifth grade...

502. to, like, a three-person birthday party in the sixth.

503. After that, he created this sort of persona

504. where he had to be the smartest person in the room all the time.

505. There was a month in 8th grade where he just spoke in a British accent

506. for no reason.

507. I felt sorry for the kid.

508. You know, imagine going through all those years of bullying

509. just because of one mistake.

510. Kevin. Have a seat.

511. Much obliged.

512. Monday, November 6th.

513. Do you remember what happened on that day?

514. Kevin...

515. I'm sorry, I thought that was a rhetorical question.

516. Let's just say,

517. for the rest of this interview,

518. there will be no rhetorical questions, okay?

519. Was that a question?

520. Kevin's got a wall up, which is totally normal for...

521. for an adolescent, uh, especially one with deep-seated issues.

522. Can you please tell me why you think we called you down here today?

523. Well, I assume it must have something to do

524. with this turd burglarizing.

525. No one comes right out and confesses. That's just not how it works.

526. Unfortunately, I know nothing,

527. nor do I understand the juvenile nature of these crimes.

528. November 6th.

529. What were you doing during that lunch?

530. Would it surprise you if I said that during lunch,

531. I was at lunch?

532. He's not just gonna admit it,

533. so we know it's all about how we present the evidence.

534. For hours, he was giving us nothing but confusing answers.

535. Because I didn't. Declarative.

536. Period. Sentence dot.

537. I don't recall,

538. recollect, remember.

539. Where were you when the fire drill went off?

540. But when we asked him where he was during the fire drill,

541. he immediately replies...

542. I was on the baseball field in my designated safety zone.

543. "The baseball field."

544. He knew he had to be accounted for during the fire alarm.

545. All the food and beverages are kept in this room

546. behind the kitchen cafeteria,

547. and if you sneak through the back door, it's going to set off a buzzer alarm.

548. The only thing that's going to be louder than a buzzer alarm

549. is a fire alarm.

550. To us it was clear that during the fire alarm,

551. that's when Kevin put the laxatives in the lemonade.

552. So, let's talk about the laxatives.

553. The night of November 5th,

554. you went to Dawsey's.

555. Listen, I had no reason to go to Dawsey's.

556. That's not what your best friend said.

557. - And who might that be? - Tanner Bassett.

558. He told us everything.

559. You changed seats, Kevin. Why?

560. I don't know. For a change of scenery?

561. A change of scenery that brings you next to Nick Sondergoth?

562. Yes, next to Nick Sondergoth.

563. And did you enjoy watching Nick Sondergoth poop his pants?

564. Kevin, let's go back to Shit Stain McClain.

565. Did you like that nickname?

566. No.

567. Because you've been hearing it since sixth grade.

568. "Shit Stain McClain."

569. The school is pressing charges,

570. but I can tell you that the judge is going to be a lot more lenient

571. if you're honest with us.

572. What you have to remember is that we're dealing with a 17-year-old.

573. He's a kid.

574. We'll tell the judge that. We'll tell him you just...

575. you know, got bullied and you were trying to get back at those

576. that we're treating you unfairly, it just got a little out of hand.

577. Of course, he's gonna get emotional about all of this,

578. but he finally has to face the truth.

579. Kevin, here's the thing. We know you did it.

580. There's a mountain of evidence against him.

581. You got the horchata,

582. you've got the going to Dawsey's the night before,

583. and Throwback Thursday Shit Stain McClain.

584. So, we gave him a break

585. to collect himself,

586. he came back in the room and he started talking.

587. What do you want me to say? - We want you to tell us the truth, Kevin.

588. You spilled Brother Buckley's lemonade on purpose,

589. didn't you?

590. - Yeah. Why?

591. Because I didn't want him to poop himself.

592. I didn't think his body could take it.

593. Because you knew the lemonade was tainted.

594. Yes.

595. And how did you know the lemonade was tainted?

596. I was the one who did it.

597. Because...

598. you put the laxatives in the lemonade.

599. Yeah.

600. And what else did you do?

601. I...

602. did the thing...

603. at the pep rally.

604. And...

605. And the thing in Ms. Montgomery's class.

606. Kevin,

607. are you the Turd Burglar?

608. Yes.

609. Kevin McClain confessed.

610. And not just to the Brownout.

611. I mean, the Brownout was bad, but then he hit us again.

612. And again.

613. Oh, my God!

614. After three crimes,

615. I was starting to think he may never stop.

616. The Turd Burglar committed three crimes

617. over the course of eight days.

618. And Kevin confessed to all of them.

619. He confessed to being the Turd Burglar.

620. You did all three crimes.

621. A serial vandal.

622. Yes.

623. Bless us, oh Lord, for these thy gifts which we are about to receive

624. from thy bounty through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

625. Amen.

626. Amen!

627. My name is Patricia McClain. I'm Kevin's grandmother,

628. so I know him better than anyone.

629. He's a funny kid, very perceptive.

630. If there's something that's not right,

631. like the temperature of his food, or...

632. or the way you fold his laundry,

633. oh, he'll let you know about it.

634. When I first heard of what they were accusing him of...

635. Forty innocent kids pooped in their pants.

636. I just said, "No way." I couldn't believe it.

637. Do you have a grudge against Nick Sondergoth?

638. I know that he is innocent.

639. You don't like your classmates, do you, Kevin?

640. - Fruit Ninja! - You can't throw a watermelon at me.

641. You kind of resent them.

642. Fruit Ninja!

643. There was no way that he would make his fellow classmates

644. poop their pants.

645. People making fun of my shit stain? I'd make them shit their pants too.

646. You think poop is funny?

647. If that's what they're saying, that he poisoned the lemonade...

648. You put the laxatives in the lemonade.

649. that he caused his fellow students to defecate uncontrollably...

650. "Look, there's Shit Stain McClain!"

651. Hey, Shit Stain McClain!

652. then let me ask you this.

653. You did the Brownout, you did all three crimes.

654. Why did Kevin poop his own pants?