American Vandal 1x4

1. This is not my specialty.

2. Uh, I focus primarily on contract law, so...

3. Kyle, honey, can you hear me?

4. - This is your Aunt Denise. - He can hear you.

5. Yeah, I got you. I can hear you. - Um, what are our rights?

6. I mean, this teacher has had it in for Dylan

7. since she met him, and she's making up evidence.

8. It's not true what she's saying, so... I mean, they can't just go around

9. expelling everybody they don't like, right?

10. Right. Well, it's not a criminal trial,

11. so, in these sort of situations, the—

12. The burden of proof isn't very high for something like this.

13. Kyle, Uncle Greg here.

14. - You're not his uncle. - What happens if they file charges?

15. Yeah. It would be a few months before this goes to a criminal trial,

16. but it would be a felony, so, I...

17. You know, I've never seen a vandalism cost so much before.

18. Well, I mean, that's just... Just totally ludicrous.

19. I mean, whoever heard of $100,000 for a paint job?

20. Right. Well, it was 27 cars, so...

21. What's our best course of action, then?

22. If and when Dylan gets charged,

23. I'd recommend you seek a lawyer who's suited for this.

24. And honestly, he's probably gonna recommend

25. that you settle out of court.

26. The case is just very strong against Dylan.

27. Yo, Kyle, that's bullshit, dude.

28. They don't have shit on me.

29. Well, don't they have a witness? - No, fuck that.

30. He lied about a hand job, so...

31. What if we can prove that someone else did it?

32. I'm sorry, who's speaking? - Uh, I'm Peter, the documentarian.

33. The—? Okay. The what?

34. I'm Peter. I'm making a documentary about Dylan's case.

35. Kind of like Serial.

36. That's a terrible idea.

37. The call with Dylan's attorney was a sobering reminder

38. that Dylan's expulsion is just the beginning.

39. He's facing felony vandalism and possible jail time.

40. And as far as the expulsion is concerned, the burden of proof wasn't very high.

41. To overturn his expulsion, Dylan needs to prove innocence,

42. not just reasonable doubt.

43. So, the reasonable doubt that we cast by proving Shapiro lied about her tire

44. isn't enough to turn this case around.

45. Personally, I think that Shapiro genuinely believes

46. that Dylan drew the dicks.

47. Dick town.

48. That she just exaggerated a few facts

49. to rid the school of a student she believes is guilty.

50. The administration is equally sure of Dylan's guilt.

51. They believe we're inventing drama that isn't really there.

52. The day after we confronted Shapiro in the parking lot,

53. she asked Sam to stay after class.

54. Hi, you wanted to see me?

55. Yes, I did.

56. I wanted to speak to you about being in the parking lot.

57. Loitering next to a teacher's car, you know you're not allowed to do that.

58. I know. It's just that Peter thinks that, because it was a nail in your tire,

59. - not an actual slash, that maybe— - Just because there was a nail in the tire

60. doesn't mean Dylan didn't put it there.

61. He could have used a hammer to slam it in there to flatten it.

62. Okay. - As far as I'm concerned,

63. it is an absolutely suspendable offense, Sam,

64. for you to have been in the parking lot.

65. School policy says, no students are allowed.

66. I'm really sorry.

67. You know, it was all Peter's idea, and, you know...

68. Next time I'll put my foot down, and I'll say, "No, Peter."

69. Okay. Just don't let it happen again.

70. Good cop, bad cop, dude.

71. Did Ms. Shapiro really accuse Dylan of slashing her tire with a nail?

72. I mean, it's possible, right?

73. Are you telling me that Dylan, before spray-painting 27 dicks,

74. he got down on his hands and knees, and hammered a nail

75. into Ms. Shapiro's car? Does that make any sense?

76. Okay, okay, no, it doesn't, but do we go back to the school board?

77. And tell them what, that Ms. Shapiro is sticking to her story? Not gonna work.

78. We could show them ball hairs.

79. No, this is gonna take way more than just ball hairs.

80. Proving Dylan's innocence seemed nearly impossible.

81. So, I figured the best way to do it would be to prove someone else's guilt.

82. Let's find out who did it.

83. Anyone who could get a can of spray paint could've done it.

84. No. Yeah, but— And delete the security footage.

85. I think that's where we start.

86. Which leaves us with nine major suspects.

87. Each of the Morning Show Nine had access to the security footage.

88. That we've established.

89. But let's take a look at opportunity and motive.

90. Who could've drawn all the dicks and why would they have wanted to?

91. Three of the nine we can rule out almost immediately.

92. Emily Hershey was in Phoenix for her grandmother's funeral,

93. and Phil Huang and Randall Snyder were both hospitalized with mono.

94. - Both of them? - Yeah.

95. Okay. All right.

96. I mean, you can draw your own conclusions from that.

97. By the way, Randall's been helping us with our documentary.

98. He's a great cameraman.

99. Give yourself some credit. This guy has been filming.

100. Anyway, these two, Christa Carlyle and Madison Kaplan,

101. both have relatively strong alibis,

102. but they also have potentially strong motives.

103. Let's start with Christa Carlyle.

104. She's senior class president, and won by a landslide.

105. Not only is she part of the Morning Show, she belongs to eight other clubs.

106. Including Strategy Club. I don't even know what that is.

107. Christa does it all. Star athlete, star mathlete.

108. She thrives within the system,

109. but, ironically, isn't afraid to speak out against it.

110. Honestly, she's a little annoying.

111. She's always like, "Oh, my God, I got, like, 300 signatures for climate change."

112. And I'm like, "Okay, I got a hand job from Sara Pearson,

113. but you don't see me bragging about it."

114. Christa Carlyle is...

115. a pain in the ass, I'll say it.

116. She comes in, she has a poster board,

117. "Oh, there's a gas leak in, like, Southwestern Utah.

118. It's getting into the— Need to do something and send funds to—"

119. What are you—? Who kn—? What are you talking about?

120. Who knows any of that stuff?

121. Christa has planned and executed many elaborate demonstrations

122. throughout the years, often at the expense of the faculty.

123. Just last year, she single-handedly organized a walkout

124. in protest of the school not observing Rosh Hashanah.

125. This is proof that religious equality is more important than football.

126. Who says that Christmas is more important than Rosh Hashanah?

127. You know, I'm not even Jewish,

128. but I feel the need to make sure that everybody feels included.

129. It's religious racism.

130. Oh, yeah— Oh, Christa hooked it up, dude. A free day off?

131. Yo, Jew day is awesome.

132. But not everyone was excited about the day off.

133. She's a protester. Always coming up with something

134. to stand up for. Which is cool. That's cool.

135. I just wish Christa hadn't done it in the middle of my pep rally, but...

136. Hey, good for them. Happy New Year.

137. Coach, he was pissed.

138. I mean, Mendoza walked out.

139. Apparently, school policy is, once you're gone

140. for the second half of the day, you can't play, so...

141. Yeah, he's our RB1. I mean, without him, we had no run game.

142. But the football team got their payback earlier this year

143. when Christa took a stand for gender equality

144. by trying out for the team.

145. You'd think she might take this as a sign that she should be less outspoken,

146. less political, but not Christa.

147. She kept the protests coming... and coming.

148. Is it possible that the dicks could be

149. some abstract political statement from Christa Carlyle?

150. Might seem like a stretch.

151. But is it more of a stretch than pouring laundry detergent down the stairs...

152. to show that bullying's a slippery slope?

153. I see a lot of hate in the hallways,

154. a lot of bullying and teasing...

155. This protest was short-lived after she slipped on the soap

156. and fell down the stairs, breaking her foot.

157. But that broken foot looks good for Christa.

158. Spray-painting 27 dicks in eight minutes is hard enough without a cast.

159. No, man. Christa wouldn't draw a bunch of dicks.

160. Vaginas, maybe, but, no, not a bunch of dicks.

161. - Where were you on March 15th, 2016? - I was finishing my CPR training.

162. Okay. Uh, do you have any way of proving that?

163. Uh, sure. You can pretend you're choking and lie down on the floor for a second.

164. Camp Miniwaka staff does confirm, Christa was completing her CPR training

165. on March 15th.

166. Christa's interesting to me.

167. She is very political.

168. She's taken stands against the administration.

169. But drawing dicks doesn't seem something our senior class president would do.

170. Or, more importantly, could do, with a broken leg and a solid alibi.

171. So, it's interesting, but doesn't tip the scales for me.

172. Which brings us to Madison Kaplan.

173. Madison's my co-anchor on the Morning Show,

174. and aspires to be the next Barbara Walters.

175. To be honest, she's better at the job than I am.

176. Madison Kaplan, that's your co-host for the Morning Show?

177. She seems fine. She seems like a nice enough student.

178. Just, uh... Yeah, just super, super boring.

179. I'm here with everyone's favorite chef, Mrs. Rogers.

180. She transferred last year from a prestigious New York high school

181. with a top-notch media facility.

182. So, it's not hard to imagine her frustrations

183. with her assigned cameraman, Dylan Maxwell.

184. If you haven't gotten homecoming tickets yet,

185. they go on sale next Friday

186. and you can pick them up at the administrative office.

187. With real aspirations to attend a top journalism program,

188. it was no secret she was fed up with her cameraman.

189. - Dylan, come on. What?

190. I thought you didn't want me to film your boobs.

191. Dylan.

192. So, is it possible she framed the vandalism on Dylan

193. after being pushed over the edge?

194. Dylan was seen committing the crime and he has a track record.

195. I think the evidence speaks for itself.

196. - Where were you on March 15th, 2016? - I was shopping with my mom.

197. - Do you have any way of proving that? - Yeah. I have receipts.

198. If Madison's motive was to frame Dylan,

199. she'd be taking a huge leap of faith

200. that someone would lie about seeing him in the parking lot.

201. She also would have no way of knowing

202. whether or not Dylan had an alibi of his own.

203. Why wait until the last quarter of Dylan's senior year?

204. She put up with him for a year and a half. What's another few months gonna do?

205. Well, just to stick it in his face.

206. No, I'm not buying it.

207. Um, she was shopping.

208. So, basically, the theory that Madison, or anyone for that matter,

209. tried to frame Dylan, it just doesn't make sense.

210. Which brings us to Ming Zhang,

211. the only member of the Nine with absolutely no alibi.

212. A lot of people would agree that Ming is the nicest kid in school.

213. In many ways, he's a sort of anti-Dylan.

214. During the third-period food fight last December,

215. Ming didn't throw a single thing.

216. In fact, he actually helped clean up the mess afterwards.

217. And two months ago, Randall Snyder caught Ming

218. returning a 20-dollar bill to the lost and found.

219. No way. Ming doesn't have it in him.

220. I mean, he once had a bloody nose in chem, and waited 15 minutes

221. before asking permission to go see the nurse.

222. He's the kind of guy, you wouldn't expect us to be homeys,

223. just 'cause he's, like... you know, like, kind of nerdy or whatever,

224. and I'm... more of, like... cool.

225. But, yeah, dude, like, he's just, like, such a nice kid.

226. Yeah.

227. So, you don't think that he would do something

228. to purposely hurt you.

229. I mean, no.

230. Uh, but then again, you never really know, dude.

231. - What do you mean? - Think about it, dude.

232. He's a foreign exchange student.

233. Who the fuck knows what he's thinking?

234. Hmm.

235. The Chinese are secretive people.

236. I'm from Toronto.

237. I'm part of the National Student Exchange, which gives students

238. throughout the U.S., Canada, and Puerto Rico

239. a chance to get exposed to different cultural experiences.

240. Ming, where were you on March 15th?

241. Uh, I think I was watching TV.

242. Can anyone confirm that?

243. Uh, I don't think so.

244. Do you think that Dylan did it?

245. Uh...

246. Uh, I'm not sure.

247. Dylan's always been very nice to me, but he's still very racist.

248. Again, Ming is the only member of the Morning Show Nine without an alibi.

249. But when looking at him as a suspect,

250. I think Sam captures my thoughts pretty succinctly.

251. Dude, it's Ming.

252. "Dude, it's Ming."

253. It's not the best argument, and I may be biased,

254. because, like everyone else, I also love Ming Zhang.

255. So, even though he had opportunity, I can't help but think, "Dude, it's Ming."

256. Don't you think it's hypocritical? Like, you guys are putting us all

257. under this microscope when you guys were also part of the Morning Show Nine

258. and you had the same access we did.

259. She has a point.

260. Technically, Sam and I had the same opportunity

261. as the rest of the Morning Show team.

262. I can't really objectively look into myself,

263. because, spoiler alert, I know for a fact I didn't do it.

264. But in an effort to be as fair as possible,

265. I asked Sam to create and edit a segment outlining the case against me,

266. an honest, thorough look

267. as to whether I could've been motivated to draw the dicks.

268. Here is the case against me.

269. Who is Peter Maldonado?

270. Above-average student born to a middle-class family.

271. So, why would he vandalize 27 cars in the staff parking lot?

272. The answer has been right in front of our eyes the whole time.

273. Peter loves cock.

274. You could even say he has a passion for dicks.

275. So, could the vandalism be the perfect crime

276. that marries his two biggest passions, movies and wieners?

277. On March 15th, maybe he drew a bunch of boners,

278. so that he could go ahead and make a movie about those boners,

279. the gift that keeps on giving, because Peter loves making movies.

280. He's been making them for years.

281. You may not know that, though, because nobody watches them,

282. because they're not any good.

283. Inside the Mind of a Killer was shitty.

284. Really, really bad.

285. Horrors of the Digital World.

286. Arguably even shittier

287. even though his mom is in it, and she's kind of hot.

288. Then there's Xanax Nation.

289. Indescribably shitty.

290. Which brings us to his alibi.

291. He claims he was seeing London Has Fallen,

292. that Gerard Butler movie.

293. He has a ticket stub to prove it,

294. but was he really at the movies, watching another shitty movie?

295. Or maybe he was just using it as a cover

296. to create the subject for a movie of his own.

297. Maybe this time his movie wouldn't completely suck.

298. Maybe this time his movie would actually be good,

299. because this time his movie would be about his biggest passion of all... cocks.

300. Admit it, Peter.

301. You did it. You did the dicks.

302. - Seriously, Sam? - Tell the world. Confess.

303. If we want people to take us seriously, we have to do our due diligence and—

304. - Dude, it's real— It's a joke. Relax. - I don't want this doc to be a joke.

305. - I put a lot of work into this. We have. - Yeah, but you didn't do the dicks.

306. Okay, but you have to treat me like any other suspect.

307. You have to be aggressive. Take the gloves off. I can handle it.

308. - Okay. Jesus, dude. All right, fine. - No, seriously.

309. - Fine, all right. Want me to do it now? - You're wasting my time. Yes.

310. You ready?

311. Could Peter Maldonado have done the dicks?

312. He's never done anything else wrong in his life.

313. He had perfect attendance last year.

314. He's a total puss.

315. So, could he have drawn the dicks?

316. No, no, no, he couldn't have, no.

317. Again, no.

318. Okay, so, obviously, Sam didn't take this very seriously.

319. In looking at Sam, I did my best to take my bias out of the equation.

320. Even though he's my close friend, I treated him like any other suspect.

321. This is the case against Sam Ecklund.

322. Sam is well-liked.

323. He's a sophomore, class clown, and he's active in the Drama Club.

324. In fact, Sam's alibi is painting sets

325. for the spring play, Seussical the Musical,

326. which places him at the school on the day of the crime.

327. So, maybe more than anyone, Sam had the opportunity.

328. But did he have the motive?

329. This may sound complicated, but follow along closely.

330. In 2009, prom was canceled

331. because someone put peanut butter on every doorknob in the school.

332. So, there's precedent for a senior prank getting prom canceled.

333. Until someone comes forward...

334. The day after the dicks, Keene threatened to call off prom once again.

335. Prom.

336. Next to go.

337. So, how does this relate to Sam?

338. Well, Sam grew up next to Gabi Granger, his best friend since birth.

339. Sam has strong feelings about Gabi's boyfriend, Brandon Galloway.

340. Brandon Galloway is the captain of the Humpbacks football team...

341. and considered one of the hottest guys at Hanover High.

342. Suffice it to say, Sam's not a big fan.

343. Sam will often screenshot Brandon Galloway's dumb social media posts

344. and send them to his friends.

345. Here he writes, "Ugh, Brandon is the worst."

346. Another one from Sam to myself on August 13th.

347. Sam sarcastically comments, "Get it? Two in the pink, one in the stink?

348. OMG, isn't Brandon so funny?"

349. Three days before the vandalism,

350. at the party at Rachel Balducci's nana's house,

351. Brandon Galloway gave Gabi a surprise promposal.

352. Here comes the surprise, baby.

353. Oh!

354. Are you shitting me?

355. Babe. Babe, will you go to prom with me?

356. Aw.

357. Is it possible that Sam drew the dicks to get prom canceled,

358. so that Gabi, his best friend, wouldn't go to prom with Brandon,

359. a guy we know Sam hates?

360. - That might sound like a stretch. - Even if I kiss him, he's still a frog.

361. But maybe Sam doesn't just see Gabi as a best friend.

362. What if there are deeper feelings there? He's always denied having a crush on Gabi,

363. - but there's evidence. - I don't like it when it switches back.

364. I don't like when it switches back and forth like that.

365. Come, I will have thee, but by this light, I take thee for pity.

366. I would not deny you...

367. but on this good day, I yield upon great persuasion...

368. and partly to save your life, for I heard you were in a consumption.

369. Peace... I will stop your mouth.

370. Okay, save it for the show.

371. - What? - Yeah.

372. - What? What are you laughing at, okay? - Save it for the show, Sam.

373. - I wasn't actually gonna kiss you. - Oh, okay.

374. - Ew, gross. - Gross?

375. - Yeah, gross. - Okay. Fine. Don't.

376. All right, fine, I won't. Whatever.

377. On October 29th, 2015, Sam sent this selfie to Gabi.

378. Seems innocuous enough...

379. until you look through the camera roll on Sam's phone.

380. Sam took 32 selfies before deciding on the perfect angle to send to Gabi.

381. Personally, I don't believe Sam committed the vandalism.

382. It doesn't seem like the Sam I know.

383. Also, the drama teacher, Mr. Bales,

384. vouches for seeing Sam at the time of the vandalism,

385. painting flats for the spring musical.

386. But he was on campus. He had access to the security footage.

387. And his motive, this crush on Gabi... that's what I find most concerning.

388. Let me in. Come on.

389. I guess the question is, is this an innocent crush...

390. or is it something more?

391. What is this, Peter?

392. It's my case against you, man.

393. What the fuck, dude? No.

394. - What do you mean? - Don't put this in the doc.

395. It's the best reason why you did it. I gotta be—

396. I know, but you're making me look like some creepy psychopath stalker.

397. It's the best reason as to why you would've done the dicks.

398. - But I didn't do the dicks. - But I have to treat you like you did.

399. - I have to treat you like a suspect. - Treat me like I did.

400. - Don't put that in the documentary. - I'm objective.

401. Just because you're my friend doesn't mean I can—

402. - I can't censor my theory for that reason. - Your theory?

403. - Yeah. - This is your theory? That I spray-painted

404. a bunch of dicks in parking lots, so I could get prom canceled?

405. - All right— - I don't like Gabi.

406. Not my fault you didn't take mine seriously.

407. If you wanna redo mine, you have—

408. - I don't wanna redo yours. - Go as hard as you want, but do it,

409. so you don't feel you're the only one being targeted.

410. - I wouldn't do this to you. - Find something embarrassing.

411. - I don't care. Just do your part. - All right, fine.

412. - Do your part. - So, you're fine I tell the school

413. you're in love with Ashley Hanson? You're okay with that? Cool, thanks.

414. Or how about I tell everyone

415. that you jerk off to American Apparel catalogs, huh?

416. How does that feel, Peter? Does that feel nice?

417. Bud, if it'd make a case against me, then I'm fine with you doing that.

418. Do that. Tell everyone I jerk off to American Apparel catalogs.

419. Fuck you, Peter. Fuck you, dude.

420. Finish this doc on your own.

421. You're not even applying the same logic to Dylan.

422. You're saying that I'm doing this for some girl?

423. You're not applying the same logic to Dylan...

424. the guiltiest guy on this fucking case.

425. You're fucking ridiculous, Peter.

426. This is the difficult thing about making a documentary

427. about people you have personal relationships with.

428. Sam was probably right to be angry at me

429. for suggesting he vandalized the school for a girl.

430. He was also right that I wasn't applying the same logic to Dylan.

431. The school board claimed Dylan's motive for drawing the dicks

432. was to target Shapiro.

433. We now know that's not true.

434. But maybe he had a different motive.

435. Maybe it was Dylan who drew the dicks for a girl.

436. Mac and I are kind of like, uh... orange juice and vodka, you know?

437. Mm. - We just go together. You know?

438. How long have you guys been dating?

439. Uh, we got serious way back in 8th grade.

440. Mm. - It was like...

441. It was, like, a perfect night.

442. We were both at this party.

443. And, uh, if we're being honest, Mac was a good girl.

444. Yeah. Until she met me.

445. Got a little taste of danger.

446. Shut up.

447. No, for real, though. Yeah, that first night was like...

448. It was like magic or some shit.

449. Like, I stole my brother's bowl.

450. - And I taught her how to take resin hits. - Yes.

451. And she stole her mom's, like... real nice bottle of tequila.

452. - Yeah. - And we just stayed up all night

453. just smoking and... drinking Diet Coke and tequila.

454. I don't remember anything. Honestly, I got so fucked up.

455. That was a night I'll never forget.

456. Mm.

457. They like to pretend they're all romantic and shit.

458. Sometimes I just wanna grab him and shit, and be like, "Dude, she's not the one.

459. Like... stop torturing us.

460. Stop torturing yourself, too.

461. Have some fucking balls."

462. He's like her lapdog.

463. Like, she gets off on that shit.

464. He does something so pathetic or stupid to get her attention again...

465. And then he says, "Oh, we're back together. Yay."

466. And it's true.

467. Dylan and Mackenzie's tumultuous relationship

468. does play out in a predictable pattern.

469. Four times Mackenzie has broken up with Dylan,

470. and four times he's won her back.

471. The first three times, with some sort of big romantic gesture.

472. After their first breakup, Dylan wrote a rap apology to Mackenzie,

473. a parody of Tyga's "Rack City" called "Mack City."

474. After their second breakup, he got a week of after-school detention

475. for drawing a dick on Ms. Shapiro's white board

476. - with a permanent Sharpie. Mac, that one's for you.

477. Dylan, office. That's for you.

478. What are you doing?

479. Last year, after their third breakup,

480. Dylan even went so far as to get a tattoo to win Mackenzie back.

481. I'm sorry, babe.

482. I haven't been able to sit down for a week. That's how much you—

483. - Ow!

484. - Why would you do that? - Ow!

485. - Why would you do that? It's a pattern of behavior.

486. - Why would you do that? Mackenzie breaks up with Dylan...

487. Dylan wins her back with some stupid stunt.

488. But after their fourth breakup, the one at Nana's party,

489. there's no evidence of any stunt to win her back.

490. I mean, Mac was going through some home shit.

491. Like, her parents are always kind of off and on.

492. It's complicated. But for a while, it looked like

493. they would get back together,

494. so, I mean, she was already super pissed about that.

495. So, I mean, I probably should've known not to fuck with her,

496. just 'cause of all— You know, that whole situation.

497. But... I didn't think she would break up with me.

498. What did you do? - I posted a video on Instagram.

499. Like... big fucking deal.

500. What was the video of? - She was...

501. She was trying to, like, shotgun a beer...

502. but... she didn't tilt her head back enough,

503. so, the beer was just, like...

504. Just, like, went everywhere, and she made this ugly-ass face, like:

505. I mean, her body looked super hot, but her face was all screwed up,

506. so, I mean, it looked funny as shit, but...

507. Wait. So, she broke up with you for posting an ugly boomerang?

508. Yeah.

509. Did she tell you not to post it? - I mean, yeah,

510. but, like... it got like 42 likes, dude.

511. So, I mean, obviously, I took it down for her,

512. 'cause, you know, I love her or whatever, but...

513. Pro tip, dude.

514. Never post an ugly video of a chick on Instagram,

515. no matter how fucking dumb she looks.

516. Not worth it, dude.

517. She won't think it's funny.

518. Dylan posts an ugly Instagram boomerang.

519. Mackenzie dumps him.

520. Three days later, Dylan, desperate to win her back,

521. draws the dicks.

522. Honestly, I can see it.

523. And this is where it gets real to me.

524. The morning of the vandalism, Dylan sends her a five-word text

525. that I find very troubling.

526. "I'd do anything for you."

527. Uh, I just wanna show you something.

528. Do you mind explaining this text message to me?

529. - Dude, what? - This text message you sent to Mackenzie.

530. What—? Did—? I gave you my phone to... like, find me an alibi or whatever.

531. - No, I was. - Not to, like... take screen shots

532. of my conversation with my girlfriend.

533. - Well, I had to take— - Perv.

534. I had to take anything that could be useful to my investigation,

535. and this seemed, uh, useful.

536. Okay. What are you trying to say?

537. I'm not trying to say anything, but... it's just that

538. you kind of have a pattern of always trying to win back Mackenzie

539. after you have— You guys have broken up.

540. You know, the Sharpie dick, the ass tattoo.

541. - See what I mean? - I brought her dog food.

542. - That's what this text is about. - Right, but does that really fit your MO?

543. My MO? What does that even mean?

544. You're supposed to be getting me off. No homo.

545. No offense, but I'm not trying to get you off here.

546. - I'm just trying to find the truth. - The truth is I was at Lucas' house.

547. I see the Instagram post from Mackenzie.

548. I go to her house, bring her the dog food.

549. That's what this text is about.

550. Doesn't mean I drew the dicks.

551. I would do anything for her. But I wouldn't...

552. Like, I wouldn't draw the dicks on cars.

553. I wouldn't... drink a cup of my own piss.

554. I— I'm not, like, accusing you. I'm just—

555. - I'm trying to think of every option. - Sounds like you're accusing me.

556. I'm telling you the truth. I didn't draw the dicks.

557. - And I believe you. - I was at Lucas' house,

558. I saw the Instagram from Mackenzie...

559. went to her place with the dog food.

560. As I spend all this time poring over the case,

561. I've learned that suggesting guilt is a whole lot easier

562. than proving innocence.

563. It's not difficult to make any member of the Morning Show Nine

564. look like they could've done this.

565. They all had the opportunity, and most had motive.

566. But our evidence against them is circumstantial.

567. If we're ever going to know whether or not Dylan did the dicks,

568. we'll need hard evidence...

569. something that proves he was at Mackenzie's...

570. or at Lucas'...

571. or making a 2:21 voicemail...

572. which I was beginning to think was a lost cause.

573. Hi, this message is for Peter.

574. My name is Joan Janson.

575. I'm Leonard Janson's daughter.

576. So, my father's gotten a bunch of messages about his answering machine,

577. something about a Kiefer Sutherland call.