1. As Hurricane Flozell
grows stronger,Copy !req
2. record surf threatens to breach
the Langley Falls Sea WallCopy !req
3. and flood all of Lower Langley.Copy !req
4. Residents are urged to evacuate.Copy !req
5. Thanks, Greg.
Stay safe out there.Copy !req
6. Don't worry.Copy !req
7. I've been in some
nasty storms and...Copy !req
8. Oh, my God!Copy !req
9. The sky ate Greg!Copy !req
10. How can you calmly
do houseworkCopy !req
11. when there's
a hurricane outside?Copy !req
12. I'm stuck inside
all day anyway.Copy !req
13. Might as well scratch some
things off my "to do" list:Copy !req
14. install
this light fixture,
repair the table,Copy !req
15. find my old
college javelin...Copy !req
16. Why on earth
would you ever need that?Copy !req
17. You never know...Copy !req
18. Well, this weather
is worrying me.Copy !req
19. Are you sure
we shouldn't evacuate?Copy !req
20. Evacuate?Copy !req
21. I'm not going to
abandon my houseCopy !req
22. just so a bunch of guys
in sports jerseysCopy !req
23. can loot the place and do
God-knows-what with...Copy !req
24. my old college javelin.Copy !req
25. But we're in Lower Langley.Copy !req
26. And we're in the lowest part
of the neighborhood!Copy !req
27. That's why so many soccer balls
end up in our yard.Copy !req
28. We'll be fine.Copy !req
29. I've got us totally prepared
to ride out the storm.Copy !req
30. But what if
the sea wall breaks?
Greg said that...Copy !req
31. Francine, a man's
most important dutyCopy !req
32. is to protect his family.Copy !req
33. So, please, just trust me.Copy !req
34. I won't let anything
happen to you guys. Okay?Copy !req
35. Mm, okay...Copy !req
36. Try to relax.Copy !req
37. Watching all that news is
just making you paranoid.Copy !req
38. Maybe a nice massage
will calm you down.Copy !req
39. Just start up here.Copy !req
40. Check it out!Copy !req
41. I got full blueprints
of our house for my project.Copy !req
42. The Junior Architect SocietyCopy !req
43. isn't going to know
what hit them!Copy !req
44. Are you allergic to
vaginas, Steve?Copy !req
45. Jeff, what if the
sea wall breaks?Copy !req
46. The zoo is in Lower Langley.Copy !req
47. Wh-What about the animals?Copy !req
48. Uh, don't worry, babe.Copy !req
49. All the animals will
take care of each other,Copy !req
50. just like they do
in the wild.Copy !req
51. I don't know what
I'd do without you.Copy !req
52. You're my rock.Copy !req
53. Come on.
Let's go get highCopy !req
54. and talk about
other times we got high.Copy !req
55. Last night was magical.Copy !req
56. I think we could
really have something.Copy !req
57. Oh, yeah, yeah...Copy !req
58. Yeah, say, could I get
that sweatshirt back from you?Copy !req
59. It looks pretty
nasty out there.Copy !req
60. Maybe I could
just wear itCopy !req
61. and give it back
to you next time?Copy !req
62. Yeah... it's just,Copy !req
63. it's kinda my favorite,
you know, from college.Copy !req
64. I'll wash it for you.Copy !req
65. I just want to wear
it for a while.Copy !req
66. It smells like us.Copy !req
67. If you've seen this man, please
call the station right away.Copy !req
68. He was last seen being sucked
into the sky, where he belongs.Copy !req
69. Because he's an angel!Copy !req
70. Hey, Buckle.
Stan, you're
still here?Copy !req
71. Everyone in the
neighborhood has evacuated.Copy !req
72. Even my friends Julius and
Rachel Epstein left.Copy !req
73. They're beavers, Stan!Copy !req
74. I appreciate the concern,
Buckle, but we'll be fine.Copy !req
75. The roads
aren't passable anymore,Copy !req
76. but I've got
an amphibious vehicle!Copy !req
77. I'm going to get Shari, and
we'll stop by on our way out.Copy !req
78. I pray you come
with us, my friend.Copy !req
79. Stan, are you sure
we shouldn't go with them?Copy !req
80. The sea wall could break
any minute.Copy !req
81. For the last time,
we'll be fine.Copy !req
82. We have weeks of supplies,Copy !req
83. and the house is
completely watertight.Copy !req
84. How do you know that?Copy !req
85. Remember when everyone
was worried about anthraxCopy !req
86. and dirty bombs a few years ago,Copy !req
87. even though they should be far,
far more worried about it now—Copy !req
88. trust me I know
what I'm talking about?
I remember.Copy !req
89. Well, I everything-proofed
the house.Copy !req
90. It's sealed against anthrax,
radiation, water...Copy !req
91. This dumb bastard's going
to get us all killed!Copy !req
92. We have to evacuate!Copy !req
93. We are staying
right here!Copy !req
94. "Not I," said the guy
who lived, and was beautiful.Copy !req
95. I'm going with
Red Beard Raccoon Coat.Copy !req
96. Anyone who's interested
in livingCopy !req
97. and not being stupid
and crazy,Copy !req
98. I suggest you join me.Copy !req
99. And anyone who
trusts my judgmentCopy !req
100. as the protector
of this family,Copy !req
101. I suggest you join me!Copy !req
102. Francine?Copy !req
103. I'm sorry, Stan.Copy !req
104. But when there's a crisis,
you make bad decisions.Copy !req
105. They sound reasonable
in the moment,Copy !req
106. but they...Copy !req
107. always...
end badly.Copy !req
108. That's ridiculous!Copy !req
109. I know it's hard
to hear, Stan,Copy !req
110. but it's true.Copy !req
111. Come on, kids.Copy !req
112. I'm with Mommy!
Betrayal!Copy !req
113. I have to stay, Mom.Copy !req
114. If the zoo floods,
I need to be here,Copy !req
115. so I can start rescuing animals.Copy !req
116. Besides, I-I think the house
will probably hold.Copy !req
117. I'm with you, babe.Copy !req
118. See what a good wife
Jeff is, Francine?Copy !req
119. He sticks by her husband.Copy !req
120. I'll stay
with you, Roger.Copy !req
121. You're still here?Copy !req
122. Come on, you guys!Copy !req
123. How can you trust that guy
over me, your own husband?Copy !req
124. You're not giving me
any choice!Copy !req
125. Staying here
is a perfect exampleCopy !req
126. of you making
a bad crisis decision.Copy !req
127. I still don't understand why we
couldn't have taken the Solara!Copy !req
128. The Solara is not amphibious,
my sweet Semitic treasure!Copy !req
129. Francine, staying here
is not a bad decision.Copy !req
130. I've prepared
for this...Copy !req
131. I finally did it.Copy !req
132. I've made my decisionCopy !req
133. about whether to stay or go.Copy !req
134. It took a lot of soul searching,Copy !req
135. but in the end...Copy !req
136. Shut up, Klaus!Copy !req
137. Punt!Copy !req
138. Hayley, please
come with us.Copy !req
139. I can't, Mom.Copy !req
140. What of... the animals?Copy !req
141. Why, why, why, whyCopy !req
142. do you have to
say it like that?Copy !req
143. No...!Copy !req
144. The sea wall has broken!Copy !req
145. What an exciting
first date!Copy !req
146. We're not dating,
you miserable cow!Copy !req
147. You're funny!Copy !req
148. Oh... my God.Copy !req
149. Buckle and Shari!Copy !req
150. They're dead.Copy !req
151. Nothing we can
do now but prayCopy !req
152. and strip all the copper piping
out of their house.Copy !req
153. If you'd gotten in that vehicle,
you'd be dead, too, Francine.Copy !req
154. If we'd left this
morning, like I wanted,Copy !req
155. we'd be safe at Mah Mah
and Bah Bah's right now!Copy !req
156. We're safe here!Copy !req
157. The generator's working.Copy !req
158. The place is sealed tighter than
an unlubricated Komzel valve.Copy !req
159. Or maybe the more obvious joke:Copy !req
160. a Zwanzi tribesman's nook-nook
ribbon, pre-Lonzi ritual.Copy !req
161. Um, Dad...
You didn't seal the drainageCopy !req
162. that allows water to pass
under the house, did you?Copy !req
163. 'Cause without that,
the water'll putCopy !req
164. too much pressure
on the structure...Copy !req
165. Steve, stop it.
Just becauseCopy !req
166. you're in an architect club
doesn't mean...Copy !req
167. Hiya, Barb!
Some weather, huh?Copy !req
168. doesn't mean you know
everything about...Copy !req
169. Hey, Principal Lewis!Copy !req
170. End of days... bitches...!Copy !req
171. about this house...Copy !req
172. We're moving. The house
is moving. I see that now.Copy !req
173. Just as I suspected!Copy !req
174. The water couldn't
pass under the house,Copy !req
175. so it pushed it
off the foundation!Copy !req
176. See, Stan?Copy !req
177. Sealing up the house
and staying hereCopy !req
178. sounded like okay decisions,
but look what happened!Copy !req
179. I feel so close to you.Copy !req
180. Let's go look at
your baby pictures.Copy !req
181. Great, you go get them.
They're outside.Copy !req
182. Where?
Just... outside.Copy !req
183. Anywhere. Just go find
them. It's a game.Copy !req
184. I say we go up to
the attic—Copy !req
185. the highest, safest part
of the house.Copy !req
186. We should stay down here.Copy !req
187. If rescue comes, we can climb
right out the windowCopy !req
188. and onto the boat.Copy !req
189. You know what?
Fine.Copy !req
190. Anyone smart or loyal enough
to take my side in this,Copy !req
191. come with me to the attic.Copy !req
192. Hayley, don't listen
to him!Copy !req
193. She's made up
her mind, Francine.Copy !req
194. Just like how I normally
make up your mind.Copy !req
195. Penny for your thoughts?Copy !req
196. I don't have any change.Copy !req
197. Saucy.
Shut up.Copy !req
198. Do not pass go.
What?Copy !req
199. Chicken butt.
I hate you.Copy !req
200. Got your nose!Copy !req
201. Stan, what
are you doing?Copy !req
202. I'm dropping an anchor
to stop us.Copy !req
203. We could crash into something
and sink!Copy !req
204. Oh, please don't do that!Copy !req
205. I know an anchor sounds like
a good plan.Copy !req
206. I can't poke any holes in it,
per se.Copy !req
207. But based on your history...Copy !req
208. My wine fridge!Copy !req
209. I had my cocaine in there!Copy !req
210. See, Francine!Copy !req
211. It was a good idea,
and it worked!Copy !req
212. Thanks to me,
the Smith family is safe!Copy !req
213. I'll never forget you, Roger!Copy !req
214. Just ignore her.Copy !req
215. No...!Copy !req
216. My sweatshirt!Copy !req
217. Don't worry.
I can fix this.Copy !req
218. It's jammed!Copy !req
219. Ha! Tables have
turned, bitches!Copy !req
220. This whole house
is going to flood.Copy !req
221. Tough luck for you dicks
who don't have gills.Copy !req
222. I guess it's my house now,Copy !req
223. and I can go wherever I want!Copy !req
224. See you never, goat!Copy !req
225. This is salt water!Copy !req
226. It burns!Copy !req
227. Put me back, put me back!Copy !req
228. Whew!Copy !req
229. (laughs
So...Copy !req
230. a lot of funny jokes
happened just now, ja?Copy !req
231. We're completely
upside down!Copy !req
232. Aw, look Steve.Copy !req
233. Our glow-in-the-dark
star stickers are still here.Copy !req
234. Remember that night we camped
out in the living room?Copy !req
235. We told ghost stories and you
had your first big-boy dream?Copy !req
236. Such volume!Copy !req
237. That must be the others,
in the attic!Copy !req
238. We have to help them!Copy !req
239. Hmm. Looks like
we can useCopy !req
240. this vertical access
shaft to get down there.Copy !req
241. Those are the
stairs, Steve.Copy !req
242. We need to make
some kind of rope...Copy !req
243. maybe out of curtains.Copy !req
244. As if!Copy !req
245. You think I'm gonna risk
my neck for Stan,Copy !req
246. after what he did
to my wine fridge?Copy !req
247. No way!Copy !req
248. But... what about your wigs?Copy !req
249. They're all in the attic.Copy !req
250. Get out of my way!
I'll kill you!Copy !req
251. Franny... we need
to make...Copy !req
252. some kind of ropeCopy !req
253. perhaps...Copy !req
254. out of curtains.Copy !req
255. I couldn't get
the window shut!Copy !req
256. The water is rising!Copy !req
257. I'll get us
out of this!Copy !req
258. I'm... not gonna
make it, babe!Copy !req
259. I-I want you
to take my Hacky Sack...Copy !req
260. and-and give it to our
grandchildren.Copy !req
261. Jeff, we don't
even have kids.Copy !req
262. I know.Copy !req
263. That's why...
I want you to...Copy !req
264. take this folded-up
candy wrapper.Copy !req
265. Don't ask me
how I did it.Copy !req
266. Just take it
and start our family.Copy !req
267. It looks like this corridor
should take usCopy !req
268. directly to the
main attic access.Copy !req
269. It's not a corridor,
it's a hallway!Copy !req
270. You need to stop with
the architect jargon.Copy !req
271. Seriously.
Look at me.Copy !req
272. You need to zip it, lock it
and put it in your pocket.Copy !req
273. Stan?Copy !req
274. It's Mom!Copy !req
275. She's gonna save us!Copy !req
276. We don't need saving.Copy !req
277. I've got this under control.Copy !req
278. I'm here, Francine!
Don't panic!Copy !req
279. I'll get us through this!Copy !req
280. What?Copy !req
281. Stan, we're moving
the stuff off the door!Copy !req
282. Just hang on!Copy !req
283. That's real good, honey!
Keep your spirits up!Copy !req
284. I'm coming!Copy !req
285. There, there,
you're safe now.Copy !req
286. The wigs!
They're all gone!Copy !req
287. Half of those belonged
to Brendan Fraser!Copy !req
288. Oh, thank the stars you made it!Copy !req
289. Come here, I've got you!Copy !req
290. Oh, bless you, Roger!Copy !req
291. I was afraid I...Copy !req
292. Thank God
this one survived.Copy !req
293. I can still go
to cowboy weddings.Copy !req
294. Nein!Copy !req
295. Okay, one at a time.Copy !req
296. The rope isn't very strong.Copy !req
297. I don't want
to die here!Copy !req
298. I'm supposed to die
in the medical tentCopy !req
299. at a music festival!Copy !req
300. Jeff, no!Copy !req
301. Ow!Copy !req
302. Jeff! Now we
lost our rope!Copy !req
303. I'm so sorry!Copy !req
304. Get ahold of yourself!Copy !req
305. Huh.Copy !req
306. Huh.Copy !req
307. How are we gonna
get up there now?Copy !req
308. Get us out
of here, Mrs. S!Copy !req
309. No!
I'll save us!Copy !req
310. We, uh... we should...Copy !req
311. open a window
and flood this floor!Copy !req
312. The rising water will carry us
right up to the living room.Copy !req
313. There's no way we're doing
another one of your ideas, Stan!Copy !req
314. Maybe we should.Copy !req
315. What?Copy !req
316. Look, I know Dad's decisions
haven't worked out,Copy !req
317. but he is trying.Copy !req
318. I say we open
the window...Copy !req
319. unless anyone
has a better idea...Copy !req
320. based in reality.Copy !req
321. Okay, then.
Window it is.Copy !req
322. Thank you, Hayley.Copy !req
323. You're welcome, Dad.Copy !req
324. Aah!Copy !req
325. Dad was wrong...Copy !req
326. Wow, what a beautiful creature.Copy !req
327. And we know so
little about them.Copy !req
328. Hayley!
Hayley!Copy !req
329. Oh, God! Oh, God!Copy !req
330. That shark's in here, man!Copy !req
331. If they're really attracted
to blood, then it's in my room,Copy !req
332. attacking the boxers I wore
the day Francine made tacos.Copy !req
333. Just leave me behind!Copy !req
334. I am bad in a crisis.Copy !req
335. And it got Hayley killed!Copy !req
336. Don't give up, Dad.Copy !req
337. We got the window closed
and we'll find her.Copy !req
338. It's the ghost of Hayley risen
up from the depths of hell!Copy !req
339. She has unfinished
business with me!Copy !req
340. Leave me be, specter!Copy !req
341. No, she's alive!Copy !req
342. Why would you assume
she went to hell?Copy !req
343. Hayley?Copy !req
344. What's on the bottom
of your mattress, Steve?Copy !req
345. So many of the girls
are Asian, and pregnant.Copy !req
346. She's not in here,
we should keep moving.Copy !req
347. Shark!Copy !req
348. Oh, thank god.
It's just a dead girl.Copy !req
349. Ah!Copy !req
350. Roger, you came back for me.Copy !req
351. Uh, okay.Copy !req
352. Do you want to come to dinner
at my parents' house on Tuesday?Copy !req
353. What did you find?
I-Is it Hayley?Copy !req
354. No, it's nothing.
Just a cushion.Copy !req
355. We're going to have
lots of babies.Copy !req
356. No, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
357. She's not in
here, either.Copy !req
358. Where's your father?Copy !req
359. The shark
got him!Copy !req
360. Stan! Hayley!Copy !req
361. I don't see any...Copy !req
362. Oh!Copy !req
363. Hayley!Copy !req
364. Careful!Copy !req
365. The shark let me go when I
jammed my one-hitter in its eye,Copy !req
366. but I think it's
still here somewhere.Copy !req
367. Hang on, Hayley.Copy !req
368. Mama's coming.Copy !req
369. Does anyone have ChapStick?Copy !req
370. I got you, honey.Copy !req
371. It's okay...Copy !req
372. Go, go, go!Copy !req
373. We have to go up!Copy !req
374. Oh!Copy !req
375. We did it!Copy !req
376. We got away.Copy !req
377. Okay, according
to the blueprints...Copy !req
378. It's hungry for flesh
and knowledge!Copy !req
379. Don't look at me, whore!Copy !req
380. We both know what this is!Copy !req
381. It's love!Copy !req
382. Forever love!Copy !req
383. Stan! Oh.Copy !req
384. Didn't see you there.Copy !req
385. Sneaky. A sneaky
boy is what you are.Copy !req
386. Francine was right
about me, Klaus.Copy !req
387. The farther away from the family
I am, the safer they'll be.Copy !req
388. There he is!
There he is!Copy !req
389. Look at all his teeth!Copy !req
390. They don't sound
very safe, Stan.Copy !req
391. You'd better
get in there!Copy !req
392. I want to, but I'll only
make things worseCopy !req
393. with my bad decisions.
Aah, look!Copy !req
394. Look, Stan, everyone
makes bad decisions,Copy !req
395. but it's a numbers game.Copy !req
396. Eventually, you're bound
to make the right call.Copy !req
397. I am?Copy !req
398. Sure.Copy !req
399. Look at Nicolas Cage.Copy !req
400. He made many horrible movies.Copy !req
401. Snake Eyes, Eight Millimeter,Copy !req
402. Gone in Sixty Seconds,Copy !req
403. Captain Corelli's Mandolin,
Windtalkers...Copy !req
404. Ghost Rider, Family Man,Copy !req
405. Weather Man, Wicker Man,
Bangkok Dangerous.Copy !req
406. But then he nailed it, Stan,
with National Treasure Two,Copy !req
407. the greatest movie of all time!Copy !req
408. He did nail it!Copy !req
409. He nailed it so hard that he
became a national treasure...Copy !req
410. too.Copy !req
411. Mom, behind you!Copy !req
412. My God!Copy !req
413. If Nicolas Cage can recover
from his bad decisionsCopy !req
414. and make a great one,
so can I!Copy !req
415. That's the spirit.
Careful!Copy !req
416. I'm going to save my family!Copy !req
417. And this time, I'm going
to make the right call.Copy !req
418. I don't want
to die yet.Copy !req
419. I haven't experienced
the disappointmentCopy !req
420. of being in a monogamous
sexual relationship.Copy !req
421. Help has arrived!Copy !req
422. It's okay.Copy !req
423. I let the bear in
to kill the shark.Copy !req
424. They're natural enemies
since the dawn of time.Copy !req
425. They're working in tandem!Copy !req
426. They're brothers in arms!Copy !req
427. Just a hiccup. Don't worry.Copy !req
428. I'm Nic Caging this mother!Copy !req
429. This time, I'll
make the right call.Copy !req
430. I'm gonna electrocute them!Copy !req
431. Oh, Stan, I don't think...Copy !req
432. Aah!Copy !req
433. Don't worry. I'm on this.Copy !req
434. Next time, I'm bound
to make the right call.Copy !req
435. You're killing us, Mr. S!Copy !req
436. Stop it!
Stay calm, Jeff!Copy !req
437. I'll get us
through this.Copy !req
438. You have to let...Copy !req
439. me...Copy !req
440. help...
you...Copy !req
441. Stan!
I know, honey.Copy !req
442. You believe
in me again.Copy !req
443. No!Copy !req
444. You're making everything
much, much worse!Copy !req
445. Now look me in the eyes.Copy !req
446. I'm going to tell you
exactly what to do.Copy !req
447. You need to go out and get help.Copy !req
448. No more decisions
or ideas.Copy !req
449. Go outside and get help, okay?Copy !req
450. Okay, I hear you.Copy !req
451. I really do.Copy !req
452. But I'm not going to do that.Copy !req
453. Because I have a better idea.Copy !req
454. My old college javelin.Copy !req
455. Remember?Copy !req
456. I'll harpoon the bear,Copy !req
457. and the bear blood will distract
the shark, and we can escape!Copy !req
458. Stan!Copy !req
459. No!Copy !req
460. No!Copy !req
461. Ow!Copy !req
462. Sorry about tranquilizing you,
Stan.Copy !req
463. I-I wasn't sure who was doing
the most damage down there.Copy !req
464. It's okay.Copy !req
465. You did the
right thing,
Buckle.Copy !req
466. You harpooned me.Copy !req
467. I told you to go out
and get help...Copy !req
468. and you harpooned me.Copy !req
469. I'm so sorry, Francine.Copy !req
470. I just wanted to prove
I'm good in a crisis.Copy !req
471. I failed.Copy !req
472. Stan, 99% of the time,
there is no crisis,Copy !req
473. and you're a wonderful
husband and father.Copy !req
474. But what about
when there is one?Copy !req
475. It's the man's job
to protect his family.Copy !req
476. And you can, honey...Copy !req
477. by getting the hell out
of the way and doing nothing.Copy !req
478. Huh. Do nothing.Copy !req
479. Francine, we both know
I'm not going to do that.Copy !req
480. I wonder how much damage
the hurricane didCopy !req
481. to the neighborhood.Copy !req
482. Oh, what a day.Copy !req
483. Tell me about it.Copy !req
484. I don't even know
where the hell I am.Copy !req
485. Looter!
Self defense!Copy !req
486. A black and a white talking
as if it's normal!Copy !req
487. Peter, what
are you doing?Copy !req
488. You know me!Copy !req
489. Everybody shut up
and let me think!Copy !req
490. Just let me think!Copy !req
491. Stan,
have you...?Copy !req
492. Oh, man. Classic
American Dad.Copy !req
493. Bye! Have a beautiful time.Copy !req