1. Aah!
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2. Jeff and Hayley
are killing me!
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3. I don't care if you are
Sean Connery, that's my Jet Ski.
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4. You know what time it is?
Shh!
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5. Dad, Jeff worked a long day,
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6. and now all he wants to do
is watch Bones and relax.
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7. Hey, Bones, look at this bone.
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8. I know.
But did you see this bone?
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9. Where'd you find that bone?
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10. Same place you
got your bone.
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11. It was just sitting here,
next to this bone.
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12. Dr. Brennan, bone call.
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13. They said it was important.
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14. Something about a bone?
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15. Morning, Mr. S.
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16. You mind
keeping that running?
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17. I'm gonna need to rinse off.
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18. Can I get the syrup?
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19. Oh, sure
thing, Mr. S.
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20. Let me just…
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21. That's it!
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22. I can't live like this anymore!
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23. Stan!
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24. He took all the syrup!
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25. I asked for the syrup
and he took all the syrup!
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26. I work hard!
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27. Why do I have to share
with these?
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28. Dad, Jeff and I want to move out
just as bad as you want us to.
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29. But I'm going to school
full-time and Jeff's already
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30. working double shifts
at the Koo Koo Ranch.
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31. I'm only making
minimum wage.
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32. Give me a break,
the minimum wage is
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33. plenty for you guys
to live on.
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34. No, it's not.
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35. After taxes,
Jeff only makes $938 a month.
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36. That's almost
a thousand dollars, a cold G.
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37. I could easily live on that.
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38. I'd love to see you try.
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39. Yeah, me, too.
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40. Are you calling me out, Jeff?
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41. You calling me out, Jefe?
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42. Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.
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43. Francine and I are going to live
out of this house for one month
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44. on $938, just to prove
to you guys how easy it is.
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45. If we succeed, then you two
mooches have to move out.
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46. Oh, you are on.
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47. I don't know, Stan.
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48. A reverse Brewster's Millions?
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49. Is this really necessary?
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50. Absolutely.
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51. Okay, a reverse BM it is.
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52. Hey, that came out funny.
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53. Was that a joke,
do you think?
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54. Childish bitches!
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55. Losers!
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56. Pushing a toy across the floor
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57. is nothing like
driving a real Ferrari.
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58. Shut up, Klaus!
You don't know.
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59. You don't know
what you're talking about.
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60. What do you know?
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61. I know because I drove
a real Ferrari.
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62. Testarossa Spider.
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63. Bright yellow.
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64. Topless down the Autobahn.
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65. Ah.
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66. You two will never know
how that feels.
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67. People like you
don't drive Ferraris.
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68. You just push little ones
with your hand,
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69. like playing with yourselves.
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70. And just like
playing with yourselves,
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71. it can never compare
to the real thing.
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72. I'm talking about
hot fur, gentlemen.
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73. Hot fur and Ferraris…
not for you two!
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74. Speaking of,
I got to pack.
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75. I'm headed to Vegas
in an hour.
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76. You're going to Vegas?
With who?
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77. Oh, some of my boys.
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78. My boy Larry owns
the night club Tao,
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79. so, you know, we should
have a pretty good time.
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80. Here's your $938
in cash.
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81. Enjoy your month
of poverty.
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82. And enjoy your last month
of sucking money from my veins,
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83. like a leech that attached
itself to my leg in the, uh…
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84. Big-Big Mooch Swamp, near, um…
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85. Looking for a town name that
also implies… Freeloadburg!
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86. Uh-uh, you can't
take the SUV.
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87. You could never afford that
on minimum wage.
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88. Then, how are we supposed to
get to the apartment we found?
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89. The same way
the maids get around.
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90. We can't
ride on the bus.
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91. We're white.
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92. Francine, it's fine.
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93. But when we come back
in 30 days,
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94. you two freeloaders
better start packing.
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95. Hey, Roge, I was thinking
about taking a joy ride
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96. on a Brazilian topless beach.
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97. That is, if your
imagination's up for it.
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98. Klaus was right,
it's embarrassing
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99. playing with
that toy car.
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100. We're not doing
it anymore!
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101. I'm sorry, Steve.
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102. The fish has just
got me all twisted.
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103. Can't believe Klaus has done
something that I haven't.
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104. So, why don't we just
drive a real Ferrari then?
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105. If I could
afford one,
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106. do you think I'd be
living in this attic?
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107. I'm sorry, Steve.
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108. I-I'm just… boom!
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109. I'm sorry, Steve.
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110. That was building.
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111. Th-That was physics
is all that was.
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112. I just can't stand that Klaus
has driven a real Ferrari.
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113. Maybe one of us knows
someone with a Ferrari?
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114. Are you testing me?
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115. Do you want another
piece of pie?
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116. Hey, "test."
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117. There it is,
of course.
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118. All we have to do
is test-drive a car.
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119. Here, put this on.
Why?
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120. Because, if we're going
to test drive Ferraris,
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121. we need to look the part.
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122. Like Al Pacino
in Scent of a Woman,
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123. when he convinces that sales guy
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124. to let him
and Chris O'Donnell take a car.
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125. Interesting fact: Chris
O'Donnell, no mental handicap.
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126. I just love the original details
in these old buildings.
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127. This place is perfect.
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128. For $350 a month,
we'll take it.
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129. $350?
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130. No, this is $1,250.
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131. Not according
to this listing.
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132. Mm-hmm, okay.
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133. You all are looking for
1345 South Sycamore.
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134. This is
North Sycamore.
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135. Neighborhoods always get worse
when you head south.
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136. How far south is it?
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137. South.
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138. Well, here we are.
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139. I like it.
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140. Charlotte!
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141. Charlotte, I know
you in there, bitch!
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142. Leave me alone!
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143. It's okay,
it'll be okay.
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144. We have light.
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145. L-Look at me.
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146. As long as we have light,
we're okay.
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147. Open, bitch!
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148. Oh, can't we just let Jeff
and Hayley live at the house?
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149. And encourage their
freeloading lifestyle?
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150. No way!
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151. Look, it's just one month.
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152. We'll get used to it.
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153. Oh, back you go!
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154. It's okay.
It's over, Francine.
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155. She's dead.
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156. She's finally dead.
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157. She's dead now.
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158. New plan, baby.
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159. New Pontiac
Aztek plan.
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160. What?
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161. We can't live there.
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162. That's how dumb people
live on minimum wage.
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163. This is how smart people
live on minimum wage.
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164. So we're going to live in a car?
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165. It's not just a car,
it's a tent on wheels.
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166. But how can we afford this?
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167. We only have $938
for the whole month.
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168. I only paid 400 bucks
for this bad boy.
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169. 400? How?
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170. Well, first I had to find
a Pontiac dealership,
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171. which wasn't easy.
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172. Then I told them I
wanted to buy an Aztek.
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173. Then I paid
them $400.
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174. So, between the car
and the money we wasted
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175. on that apartment,
we have less than $200 left.
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176. What are we supposed to eat?
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177. Potatoes and rice!
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178. Cheap, and enough to
last us the whole month.
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179. Whoa, whoa, easy boy.
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180. W-What do you want?
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181. You want the potatoes?
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182. Y-You want us to dance?
Is that what you want?
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183. He wants us to dance, Francine.
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184. Dance, Francine!
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185. Dance to stay alive!
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186. Is this what you want?
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187. Is this how you like it?
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188. Afternoon.
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189. My associate and I are here
to test drive your Ferraris.
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190. Uh, sorry, sir, but we don't
just let these cars
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191. out the door so easily.
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192. What's your quota, Freddy?
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193. What? My name's Andrew.
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194. How many Ferraris you sell
this month, though?
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195. Freddy, the '80s are over.
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196. Are you trying to tell me
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197. these things are just
walking out of the store?
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198. I said my name is Andrew.
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199. L-Look, people always
want to buy Ferraris.
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200. Well, if you like it that much,
why don't you sleep with it?
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201. Why you selling it?
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202. That's an odd
thing to say.
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203. If this car performs
the way I expect it to,
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204. you will get a certified check
of 101,000 and change
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205. when you come in here
tomorrow morning.
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206. This is a
$320,000 car.
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207. Freddy, for you, 107 all in.
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208. Plus a case of champagne
to go with your leftover turkey.
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209. Uh, okay, I feel like
you're quoting something.
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210. I-I don't feel like I'm
in on the joke, though.
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211. Don't worry about the boy.
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212. He drives so smooth you can
boil an egg on the engine.
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213. When we bring the car back,
I'll peel the egg for you.
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214. We're not having
a real conversation, are we?
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215. Y-You're just waiting
for me to finish
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216. so you can say your next thing.
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217. Freddy, you're
no spring chicken, are you?
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218. Come on, man, you
don't have to do this.
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219. Two thousand.
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220. And unless you take it,
you're gonna make me cry.
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221. I'm a gray ghost, too.
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222. I can't believe that worked!
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223. This is amazing!
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224. So, where are
we going?
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225. To find Klaus, so he can
see exactly what's up.
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226. Find us some kick-ass
driving music, compadre.
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227. Yeah!
Yeah!
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228. I can't get warm.
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229. I know what'll
warm us up.
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230. Sex.
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231. No, Stan.
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232. Those homeless people
are watching us.
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233. It's okay.
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234. Francine,
we don't have much,
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235. but we do have
each other.
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236. I think we should
sex each other.
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237. He's right.
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238. I don't want
to sex, Stan.
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239. Go away!
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240. You go away!
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241. Is this what you want
for Hayley?
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242. Is this how
you want her to live?
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243. You mean young and free,
listening to great music,
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244. surrounded
by a community that's
looking out for each other?
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245. Hey, guys, you gonna
do it or what?
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246. My boner's
freezing out here.
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247. You sure, Francine?
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248. It's awfully
refreshing.
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249. I'm depressed.
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250. I'm gonna go take a nap
in the car.
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251. Wait. Where's the car?
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252. No!
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253. No, that's where we live!
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254. No!
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255. Stan, it's time
to go home.
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256. And let Jeff and Hayley win?
Never!
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257. Look, Francine,
I know things look bleak,
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258. but if we stick together
and believe in each other,
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259. we can overcome anything.
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260. I just need to find
a place to take a.
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261. I got back to the room
at, like, 6:00.
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262. The sun was definitely up.
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263. I seriously can't go
to strip clubs when I drink,
you guys.
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264. Come… on…
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265. You… got to…
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266. be… kidding…
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267. me…!
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268. I don't want
to do this, Stan.
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269. You're hungry, right?
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270. Just trust me,
this will work.
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271. Ooh! What are these?
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272. They're Jonah's
Pizza Nosh.
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273. Made with three cheeses.
Great for a snack.
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274. Mmm! Lisa, try one.
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275. This might be the taste
you've been looking for.
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276. And is this one
a different flavor?
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277. No, they're
all the same.
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278. Lisa, try the other flavor and
tell me which one we should buy.
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279. Good, right?
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280. Now, I'm a successful
businessman on the go,
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281. who sometimes has to shovel food
in my mouth like a bear.
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282. Will these accommodate
my fast-paced lifestyle?
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283. They do!
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284. Francine, wait!
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285. I'm going home, Stan.
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286. Face it, we've lost!
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287. We've got no food, we've
got nowhere to sleep!
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288. That's not true.
We could sleep under a car.
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289. They're everywhere,
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290. and you can't get
fully raped under a car.
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291. Hayley was right.
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292. Minimum wage isn't enough
to live on.
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293. I'm done!
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294. Yeah, go on and quit,
you quitter!
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295. No, Francine, I'm sorry!
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296. Don't go!
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297. You!
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298. That's the guy, Jonah.
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299. So I hear you like
to sample things excessively
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300. and then not buy.
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301. Is that what
you like to do?
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302. Those pizza bagels
are my life.
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303. I make those tiny bagels
by hand.
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304. That's right, Jonah,
mush that face.
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305. I love you, baby.
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306. You are my queen,
Rebecca.
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307. We can't do
this anymore.
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308. I have to think
about the election.
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309. You can't just use me up
and then leave me!
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310. I'll call your wife!
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311. You stay away from my family!
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312. I'll kill you!
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313. No! Come back!
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314. Good morning!
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315. Are you the Hamburglar?
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316. I'm the Hamburrobber!
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317. I did this to you!
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318. Tell your friends!
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319. Hello. I'm here
about the job.
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320. Oh, I'm sorry.
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321. You're thinking that's
blood.
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322. It's just ketchup from
the Dumpster burger.
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323. Okay, time to go.
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324. W-Wait, please!
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325. I just need enough money
to get through the month
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326. so my daughter'll
move out!
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327. You don't understand!
Please!
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328. Then I'm taking
your shoes!
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329. Wait! You can have the shoes!
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330. Just leave the orthotics!
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331. They were specifically designed
by Dr. Ross for my feet only!
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332. I pronate!
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333. They help reduce the stress
to my ankles!
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334. Yah, God!
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335. Shoes.
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336. Burgundy dress shoes.
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337. New shoes, man?
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338. Nice stitching…
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339. wooden sole…
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340. Where were these made?
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341. I don't know.
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342. Just, get out
of here, man!
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343. Shoes.
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344. Got shoes here.
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345. Where'd you get those?
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346. Don't worry about it.
They're my shoes, okay?
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347. They look too small for you.
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348. Just ten bucks, man.
They'll fit you.
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349. They'll fit you nice.
Wear 'em to a party.
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350. Wear 'em with chinos
and no socks, it's a solid look.
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351. What's it matter
where they came from?
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352. It matters because I'm a cop.
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353. Shoe Police!
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354. Oh, my God!
Keep going!
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355. I think we hit
a homeless guy!
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356. We killed him.
Keep going!
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357. Help, please.
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358. I've been hit.
Leg is busted.
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359. Bleeding out.
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360. Excuse me,
Rude-y Huxtable.
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361. This is a free clinic.
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362. If you can't afford
insurance, you got to wait.
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363. How long have you
been waiting?
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364. Six, seven hour.
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365. What are you
here for?
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366. My elbow feel funny.
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367. My elbow feel strange.
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368. I-I am, I am just,
I am very near death.
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369. Can I go before you?
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370. No. My elbow feel funny.
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371. Sign your cast?
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372. Billy's the name.
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373. You want some Jenkem?
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374. It'll make you
all better.
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375. Sure, it's a natural remedy!
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376. Huff on this!
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377. What's in it?
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378. My body waste, silly.
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379. Huff on it, now.
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380. Whoa, hey, hey,
don't huff it all now.
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381. We's sharing.
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382. I'm thinking
about pulling a job.
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383. A rob job.
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384. Yeah…!
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385. We do this job.
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386. One last jobber.
Copy !req
387. And then we're out
of the game for good.
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388. I means it.
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389. One… final…
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390. jobber.
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391. I know just the place.
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392. A fake rock!
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393. This world never ceases
to amaze and inspire me!
Copy !req
394. Grab that lamp.
It's a real Schtibly.
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395. A Schtoobly?
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396. No, a Schtibly.
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397. A Schtibly!
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398. Wow-wow!
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399. Intruders!
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400. Die! Die! Die!
Copy !req
401. Dad?
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402. Stan, what are
you doing?
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403. I'm-I'm robbing us.
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404. I-I don't know!
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405. It's just, I just,
it's too hard!
Copy !req
406. You guys were right.
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407. You can't live on
minimum wage.
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408. I did things out there!
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409. I did things
with my hands and my mouth
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410. that I'm not proud of
just to get by!
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411. It-It's what you do!
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412. It's what you got to do!
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413. Dad, it's been
less than two days.
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414. So, I guess this means
we can stay?
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415. You can stay here
as long as you need.
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416. I'm just so happy that you kids
are here, safe with us.
Copy !req
417. This, this huff has just got me
so emotional.
Copy !req
418. I love you all so…
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419. Who is this guy?
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420. What's he doing?
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421. He's dying.
Copy !req
422. No, he's drawing something.
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423. Hey, he's playing Pictionary!
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424. Ooh, I love Pictionary!
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425. Is it, uh,
is it an angel?
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426. No, tree.
Tree, tree!
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427. It's a tree!
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428. Pyramid? Uh,
the Great Pyramid!
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429. Pyramid of Giza!
Copy !req
430. This season, an all-new
hit drama… Shoe Police.
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431. Hey, look at this:
no tongue.
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432. Looks like someone
didn't want this shoe to talk.
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433. - Elisabeth Shue is
- Detective Lacy Sole.
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434. Tell me the truth, Doc.
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435. Is he going to make it?
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436. No, I don't think so.
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437. Don't miss the show
Copy !req
438. the Santa Fe New Indian Journal
has proclaimed "Confusing.
Copy !req
439. "A new low for FOX."
Copy !req
440. And "Embarrassing."
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441. Shoe Police. Watch it.
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442. Bye! Have a beautiful time.
Copy !req
443. Captioned by Point.360
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