American Dad! 20x3

Directed by Jennifer Graves

Anjelica Huston as Superintendent Ellen Riggs (voice) • Pete Davidson as Toad Button (voice) • Ally Maki as Robot Teacher (voice) • Chris Sullivan as Jerry (voice)

Steve and Principal Lewis get caught in a dangerous situation at the school. The rest of the family makes an adorable new friend.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. There's our distraction.

2. Finally!

3. - Whoa. - Hey, it's not supposed to distract us.

4. Oh, my God! We did it! We're free!

5. That tunnel you burrowed was crazy. We were up and down and up and down.

6. That's 'cause I modeled it on that game Chutes and Ladders.

7. - Ah, that game's impossible. - Let's get out of here.

8. The convicts are armed and dangerous, but whatever.

9. Let's get to the only escape anyone cares about.

10. An adorable baby giraffe snuck out of the zoo.

11. Aw!

12. If you see the wittle giraffe around town,

13. pwease contact the zoo immediatewy.

14. That poor little baby.

15. I'll tell you what I won't be doing if I see it. Contacting the zoo.

16. I'd show that giraffe the night of its life

17. before it's hauled back to captivity forever.

18. That actually makes sense.

19. - Yeah, screw the zoo. - Yeah.

20. Great. We all agree. Now, you know what else would be great?

21. A theme song.

22. - Right, right, right. - I don't know.

23. Good morning, USA

24. I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day

25. The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face

26. And he's shining a salute To the American race

27. Oh, boy, it's swell to say

28. Good morning, USA

29. Argh!

30. Good morning, USA

31. I love Spirit Week.

32. I'm literally bursting with school pride.

33. At least I hope that's what this is.

34. What better way to honor our school than a Teachers Hall of Fame?

35. Show everyone the greats

36. who made Pearl Bailey the amazing school it is today.

37. On premium library real estate, no less.

38. How'd you lock that up, Stevie baby?

39. The library has extra space

40. 'cause Principal Lewis destroyed most of the books

41. when he and his buddies were playing flamethrower tag.

42. Rest in peace, buddies.

43. We're close. Let's test it out.

44. I'm Mr. D'Angelo.

45. I was the first teacher to say,

46. "Talk amongst yourselves" and leave for the rest of the day.

47. If I know our peers, they're gonna love this.

48. Spirit Week, bitches!

49. Isosceles.

50. Can you believe I'm just now discovering

51. the magic of mixing Mentos and Diet Coke together?

52. I'm testing out recipes for a badass foam show on the football field.

53. Our robots are ruined.

54. You wanna see ruined robots, let me have 'em for the night.

55. Spirit Week!

56. This is gonna take forever to fix.

57. What's the point, Steve?

58. As long as that madman Lewis is in charge, this school is screwed.

59. He ruins everything.

60. Sorry, Steve. I'm out, too.

61. All this Spirit Week talk is just too scary for me.

62. Reminds me of ghosts.

63. Damn it!

64. Hey, where'd your friends go?

65. Please sit. I've got a lot to explain.

66. You're the lawyer for all the school bus drivers, right?

67. No, I'm a kid, here to file a formal complaint

68. against Principal Lewis.

69. Ah, yes. Yes, a kid. You realize how serious this is?

70. I do. But I love Pearl Bailey.

71. And Principal Lewis is a destructive menace

72. who doesn't care about the school.

73. He ruined my Spirit Week project,

74. he hired his cousin Dale as a school nurse,

75. and all he does is smoke cigarettes.

76. Plus, Lewis taught a group of crows to attack anyone with a rolling backpack.

77. Legally, I can't admit fault of any kind,

78. as you know, being a kid lawyer and all.

79. Well, you have to do something. This is a formal complaint.

80. Fine. I'll open an investigation.

81. Hey, before I get into this school bus fiasco,

82. let me ask you something.

83. What's the fastest you'd feel comfortable

84. being thrown from a school bus?

85. I'm looking for a number over 70.

86. No, reach higher, Jeff! I need the big, juicy ones.

87. You guys want my apple salsa to be good, right?

88. We do.

89. Just grab the big, juicy ones, Jeff!

90. No! Higher, Jeff! The big, juicy ones!

91. Was it worth it, Jeff? Disrespecting me to pet a giraffe?

92. I'll bet you guys never had to sneak in at night to avoid an insane principal.

93. Yeah. You legends were probably too busy to come in at night anyway.

94. VIP-ing your way around town. Banging everything with a heartbeat.

95. Would you just come on?

96. Gotta hide for a second.

97. Yeah. Here they are.

98. The blueprints to the school.

99. Not really sure why late-night copy machine repairmen

100. would need these, but...

101. Perfect. These'll show us the structural points

102. where we need to plant the dynamite to blow this school to smithereens.

103. Clean.

104. All right, we got the blueprints, but we still have a huge problem.

105. Where are we gonna unroll them?

106. How about the table by them robots, boss?

107. Good eye.

108. You know, one day, humans are going to only sex each other through robots.

109. How do you know that?

110. Because my aunt used to say it whenever we went to Chuck E. Cheese.

111. Okay, let's hit here, here and here.

112. And we'll start with the boiler room.

113. Come on. Let's get started.

114. I'm gonna take my class to the old classroom...

115. Oh, my God. They work! Shit.

116. I'm gonna take my class...

117. One of the robots is making a break for it.

118. That's a kid. Toad-Button, you go after him!

119. We'll start planting the bombs.

120. Thank goodness I wore my brand-new Skerchers SuperSpeeders.

121. That's right, Dadders!

122. Steve wears the brand-new Skerchers SuperSpeeders by Skerchers Sneakers!

123. Now with real rubber.

124. If you're gonna kill me,

125. pass along my funeral requests to my friend Snot.

126. Tell him, "Open casket, eyes wide, huge smile."

127. - Oh, thank God, it's you. - You're too kind, Steve.

128. I wish everyone was as happy to have me around as you.

129. I guess someone formally complained about me.

130. The superintendent wants to meet with me in the morning. I'm as good as gone.

131. Just grabbing my most important stuff

132. in case I'm not allowed back on the premises.

133. Gosh, that's terrible about the investigation.

134. Did I say investigation?

135. Some guys broke in and they're going to blow up the school.

136. Let 'em. Screw this place! Oh, man, I love it here.

137. This will be a great talk for later. They're looking for me. We gotta go.

138. It's not fair.

139. I just finally fund-raised enough money to trick out my office.

140. You loving these hydraulics?

141. You didn't mention the guys with bombs had guns, too.

142. Bullets are my kryptonite. Follow me.

143. You're lucky you're with me.

144. - No one knows the school like I do. - I should call the police.

145. Damn! No service down here.

146. Oh, God forbid a kid goes five minutes without his phone.

147. I'm trying to save the school!

148. I can't believe my fate's in your crazy-ass hands.

149. They're so crazy, they just might work.

150. Hey, they worked!

151. - So, how pimp is this place? - It's great. Where's the exit?

152. Nowhere.

153. We kick back and wait it out here until this blows over.

154. "Wait it out"?

155. What if they find us? And what about the school blowing up?

156. We're fine. This is my panic room, and it's bomb-proof.

157. Designed it myself. Even built the fireplace.

158. Brick.

159. Just relax, Smith. Can I get you a drink?

160. Are you a brandy kid?

161. Oh, hey. You mind taking your shoes off?

162. You destroyed the library with foam,

163. and you want me to take off my shoes?

164. This is such bullshit. Look at all the work you did down here.

165. But you can't be bothered to care about the actual school.

166. Smith, I do my job better than anybody.

167. And whoever reported me to the superintendent

168. got it as wrong as you.

169. Ahhh!

170. - Toad-Button found us. - Did you say "Toad-Button"?

171. Yeah. What a stupid name.

172. Well, could be cute on the right guy. Is this who was chasing you?

173. That's him! Damn. He's aged very well.

174. Everything always works out for the bad boys.

175. I should have known they'd be back.

176. Of course they're your former students.

177. You've been terrorizing kids for 30 years.

178. Man, '94 was a hell of a class. Those kids could dress.

179. This place is bomb-proof, huh?

180. What do we do?

181. Ah, people got so hammered at that prom. At least I did.

182. The chimney's our only way out!

183. Yes, into the Christmas tunnel.

184. The gym?

185. Dang. I got something in my eye. Do you see anything?

186. Why would you build a chimney into another room?

187. I only had this many bricks.

188. This is why all our gym teachers have lung disease.

189. Well, no one seemed to mind when it smoked out all the pigeons!

190. Yep, those are Toad-Button's buddies.

191. It's beautiful they stayed in touch. But how are we getting out of here?

192. Don't worry. There's gotta be something in my bag that can help us.

193. Useful, useful, useful, but not for this.

194. A cord? I don't remember packing a...

195. Did you hear something?

196. I've heard that the dry cleaning business

197. will eat you alive

198. - if you don't have the right mentor. - Hmm. I'm not sure that's what it was.

199. But maybe.

200. We can get out there.

201. Okay. That's the last of the explosives.

202. Now we just wait until that bastard Lewis

203. shows up in the morning

204. so he can watch it happen.

205. Are you flirting with me, Smith?

206. No. I'm flirting with death.

207. And it sounds like they're here because of you.

208. That's why I'm here.

209. Play it cool.

210. We are six non-giraffes looking for a place to eat.

211. Right this way.

212. We should go.

213. My brother-in-law is upset because he prefers

214. the Stevie Wonder version of Happy Birthday.

215. We'll obviously be paying for none of this and taking it all to go.

216. And toss a couple of White Russians in here.

217. Ah, it feels so good to talk at full volume again.

218. La, la, la

219. Shut up! We're almost home-free.

220. Just got to figure out how to get down.

221. I got us covered.

222. Wow, two inflatable Grim Reapers made the cut.

223. - Grims. - What?

224. Grims Reaper. It's the same as brothers-in-law.

225. "I have two Grims Reaper."

226. I'm sorry to nitpick. That's just one of my biggest pets peeve.

227. Okay. So what now?

228. Climb on. I'll puncture it and it'll deflate,

229. sinking you down to the ground, where you can run to safety.

230. That's actually a great idea.

231. Wait. Just me?

232. This is where we part ways, Smith.

233. I'm their principal, and I can get through to them before it's too late.

234. But you're not their principal anymore.

235. Being a principal is like being a murderer, Smith.

236. You carry that label forever.

237. Forget about them. They hate you.

238. So? I saved you, didn't I?

239. And you're the one who reported me to the superintendent.

240. You knew that, and you've still been helping me?

241. Of course I have. I'm your principal.

242. And whether you approve of my style or not, I take my role very seriously.

243. Now I've got students to get through to.

244. Ah! Toad-Button. You startled me.

245. Nice to see you again, Principal Lewis.

246. Hey.

247. Principal Lewis, I've decided that I can't leave you here alone.

248. You know, I see you're a big fan of pistol whipping.

249. But you know what knocks me out? Be-bop jazz.

250. We thought we were gonna have to wait until morning for you to show up.

251. But I should have known you'd be here working late.

252. I wasn't working, I swear. Those days are behind me.

253. I can vouch for that.

254. Yeah, right.

255. Now you're gonna watch us destroy your precious school,

256. just like you destroyed our lives.

257. Guys, you can't. If you do something this big

258. and leave two eyewitnesses, you're gonna get caught.

259. Then maybe we don't leave any witnesses.

260. Look, I know I ruined your lives, but let me help you now.

261. I got a guy in Mexico who can set you up with new identities.

262. Plus, he works at the Hilton pool.

263. You can swim, get some sun. Those amazing rolled-up towels.

264. Don't listen, boss.

265. He'll say anything to save his beloved school.

266. I'm sorry. Beloved school, working late?

267. Are we talking about the same Principal Lewis?

268. This guy disbanded the school chorus

269. because he was afraid the singing might "attract Sasquatches."

270. I don't know what he's been up to recently, kid.

271. We've been in jail.

272. But how about we tell you our experience with Lewis?

273. Okay. So, back in the early '90s...

274. Sorry, Toadie. I know I said "we," but I got this.

275. So, back when we were in school...

276. Was it not the early '90s? I feel like that helps.

277. Yes, okay.

278. Back in the early '90s, we used to struggle as students,

279. but Lewis saw our potential

280. and was determined to get the most out of us.

281. Aw, Jerry, give me a hug.

282. I'm obviously not finished!

283. But no matter how well we did,

284. nothing was ever good enough for this guy.

285. Eventually, we couldn't take it anymore and snapped.

286. We dropped out, started getting into trouble

287. - and wound up in jail.

288. - All because of him. - In the early '90s.

289. That's right, Steve.

290. I used to try to get the most out of my students.

291. I used to be a bad principal.

292. I don't follow.

293. You see, the problem was, I was acting like a strict parent

294. when all these kids already had parents.

295. - Actually, I lost both my parents. - It was just too much pressure.

296. What they needed was a friend.

297. It's not princi-parent, it's princi-pal.

298. So I became the most fun pal I could be.

299. And yes, over the years, that may have drifted into up uncle territory,

300. but the results speak for themselves.

301. The only time kids go to jail anymore is when they're there visiting me.

302. Wow.

303. So all this time I thought you were nuts,

304. I was right.

305. It was a car accident, in case anybody's interested.

306. You know what's ironic?

307. We were doing all this for the giraffe,

308. but I think he showed us the night of our lives.

309. Mmm-hmm.

310. Wow! A giraffe! Looks like y'all had a crazy night.

311. Yeah. But I guess he has to go back to the zoo now.

312. Wait. I might have an idea that'll keep him out of the zoo forever.

313. Please, you gotta believe me. I'm not a baby giraffe.

314. I'm a human man.

315. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You and every other animal in the zoo.

316. Don't worry, babe. We'll be back. I got an annual pass.

317. Guys, if you want to destroy the school, just leave this man in charge.

318. He will eventually do it, I guarantee. And your hands will be clean.

319. Enough stalling.

320. Any last requests before your school goes sky-high?

321. How about we raise a final toast to old Pearl Bailey?

322. With what beverage?

323. With the champagne of colas.

324. Diet Coke!

325. He's trying to kill himself before we blow up the school.

326. That's enough!

327. Stop!

328. - Ugh! Gross! - Ugh!

329. This is just sad.

330. Please blow up the school. We deserve it at this point.

331. Sorry. I meant to do this.

332. Um...

333. Is he flirting with me?

334. There is no way he meant to do that.

335. He may not be perfect, but he really does care.

336. I know his old students tried to blow up the school,

337. but his current students just complain.

338. I think he's moving in the right direction here.

339. Thanks, Steve.

340. I guess it's kind of like Steinbeck says.

341. "Now that I'm not asking you to be perfect, you can be good."

342. See, he knows Steinbeck.

343. Of course I know Sherm Steinbeck.

344. You're not gonna find a better amateur dentist than that guy.

345. All right. We'll let Mr. Lewis off with a warning.

346. So what happened to those convicts, anyway?

347. Back to prison, I assume?

348. You know, as their principal, I just didn't think

349. more prison time was the answer for those kids.

350. Here are the passports for your new identities.

351. Hop in. I already picked up my other client,

352. so next stop's Mexico.