American Dad! 20x12

Directed by Josue Cervantes

Jane Lynch as Mother (voice) • Nic Wegener as Kashi (voice) • Andy Richter as Jake (voice) • James Adomian as Huell Howser (voice) • Gary Anthony Williams as Security Guard (voice)

The Smiths get new neighbors! Meanwhile, Roger dreads having to be a little boy's kite for a day.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Moving truck, moving truck, moving truck!

2. We're getting new neighbors!

3. Mom, back away from the window.

4. Nice and slow.

5. You don't wanna scare 'em off, do you?

6. I won't do that.

7. Get her, Mr. S!

8. Let me go!

9. I'm not gonna scare them away!

10. Yes, you will.

11. Why do you think no new neighbors ever stick around?

12. You do tend to come on too strong, Francine.

13. I know I do.

14. I just get excited.

15. Excited to grow our little community.

16. Freaking sue me.

17. There's a dad.

18. And a young, single dad, maybe?

19. That's a teenage girl.

20. I know because I see them on the CW.

21. A wife!

22. There's a wife!

23. Good morning, USA

24. I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day

25. The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face

26. And he's shining a salute To the American race

27. Oh, boy, it's swell to say

28. Good morning, USA

29. Ah!

30. Good morning, USA

31. Having a stare at the front door again, Franny?

32. Me? No.

33. I'm trying to calm my nerves before we welcome the new neighbors.

34. Isn't that in four hours?

35. You know what they say,

36. "Early bird gets the great neighbors and the thriving community."

37. Well, it has a nice ring to it.

38. I might start saying it myself, but it won't be today.

39. Today, I'm a boy's kite.

40. And I have to be hanging in his shed before his deadbeat mom gets there.

41. She visits him once a year on his birthday,

42. and they take me out and fly me.

43. That sounds depressing.

44. That's the point!

45. All the time I'm having so much fun with my personas,

46. but you can't have the highs without the lows.

47. Just like you can't have a rainbow without orange, the shittiest color.

48. That's right, the color orange, you've been Dadded.

49. I get it. Oh, well.

50. I hope you have an awful day!

51. Thanks, I will.

52. Ow!

53. Damn it.

54. A perfect start to a terrible day.

55. Mom, try and relax.

56. Hi, I'm Jessica!

57. Hi, Jessica! I'm Francine. I made you a casserole.

58. There's nothing in there!

59. I know. I was too excited to make it!

60. And I was too excited to go to the store for lemons.

61. This is tap water and mustard.

62. Whoa, trippy.

63. Holy cow, Mr. Klaus, this fish looks exactly like you.

64. It does not!

65. - I see it. - Totally.

66. Like twins.

67. This is a bit. You guys are joking on me.

68. It's got a big, stupid head thing!

69. Ah! You met my fish.

70. I'm Donald and that's Kashi.

71. She's a sheepshead wrasse.

72. That must be what you are, Klaus.

73. Hey there, neighbor. I'm Jake.

74. Wanna hang out in my man cave, my dude cavern, my guy hole?

75. Guy hole, you say? Lead the way.

76. Donald, those are some sick frames. What's your prescription?

77. Right eye minus five?

78. Left eye minus four!

79. You guys get high?

80. Does your fish look identical to Mr. Klaus?

81. Be right there, Mom. Just gonna grab my kite!

82. Okay, here we go.

83. Perfect.

84. Okay, the worst is over.

85. Wow, our basement is unfinished but this is next-level.

86. It's the reason I bought this house.

87. Perfect conditions for my hobby.

88. I age my own blue cheese.

89. Rip yourself off a chunk.

90. Uh, that took me six years to make.

91. It's delicious!

92. Can I tell you how thrilled I am to finally have another woman

93. right next door?

94. I'm thrilled you didn't run for the hills the moment we met.

95. My family says I come on a bit strong.

96. Shut up!

97. My family says the same thing about me!

98. OMG, hilarious!

99. But all I want is for my family to be part of a nice community.

100. Me too!

101. Freakin' sue me!

102. The wind's really good, Mom!

103. I bet if my string was longer, it could fly to the moon.

104. You know what? I got a pretty good buzz going.

105. And since it's your birthday... Wait, right?

106. - Yeah! - Good.

107. Because of that, how 'bout we see how high

108. we can fly that weird-ass kite of yours together?

109. Do you really mean it?

110. Happy birthday!

111. A big ball of twine?

112. This is the best birthday ever!

113. Ah. This is depressing.

114. This is perfect.

115. It's go time.

116. I thought we were saying "It's showtime" now.

117. Right. By the way, Oscar-worthy performance earlier

118. pretending to like the new neighbors.

119. - You weren't so bad yourself. - Thanks. It's showtime.

120. I'll send the signal.

121. I think I actually prefer "It's go time."

122. Whatever it is, it's time.

123. Gather everyone while I send the signal.

124. "It's showtime." I think showtime would go better with these.

125. I love it. That's what we do now.

126. Ooh, Stan's cauldron is ablaze.

127. Ooh.

128. Oh, Al. Again on the toilet for the cauldrons.

129. Oh, surprise, surprise,

130. Stan's using my cauldron again without asking.

131. Bro, you promised no blow until the after-party.

132. Geez, Klaus, I only did a teeny bit.

133. I get excited for these.

134. Greg, please release the banner.

135. Whoo!

136. Welcome, neighbor-haters.

137. We're gathered here tonight because we got new neighbors in town.

138. Chill, Greg.

139. Everyone place a hand atop the book of stolen doormats

140. as we recite our oath.

141. We, the members of the Cherry Street Neighbor-Haters Club,

142. do solemnly swear to drive away all new neighbors

143. before they can annoy the hell out of us.

144. With their "Hey, how you doings?"

145. And their lawnmower fumes.

146. And their "At this house we believe in science" signs.

147. And most of all, their disgusting unfamiliar faces

148. and sometimes hard to remember names.

149. Like Frank!

150. Bye-bye, losers.

151. Dad, is there something wrong with your damn hand?

152. You didn't wave bye-bye to the losers.

153. I knew those incredible eagle eyes of yours

154. would someday come to haunt me.

155. I'm having second thoughts about driving away the neighbors.

156. Daddy, no!

157. Daddy yes, Steve.

158. Francine really hit it off with this neighbor-wife last night.

159. Of course she did.

160. She loves neighbors!

161. And we hate them!

162. "Hey, how you doing?" Pfft!

163. Dad, the fact that Mom hit it off with Jessica

164. only means way more neighborly things are on the horizon.

165. Think about it.

166. "Can we use your pool, Stan? Can we borrow your hammer, Stan?"

167. Those are your things, Stan.

168. I know just what you need, Dad.

169. Greg, hop on the keys.

170. It's a terrible day here On Cherry Street

171. A very bad day For new neighbors to greet

172. Please, don't be mine

173. Say you're not mine

174. I never want to have new neighbors

175. Especially you

176. I'd much rather live in a neighborhood Without you

177. So let's wipe the floor With this horrible day

178. And get these new neighbors

179. The out our way

180. Please don't be mine

181. Say you're not mine

182. Don't you be my neighbor

183. It's showtime!

184. Whoa, you're adding finger guns?

185. - Yeah, right? - Check this out.

186. Whoo!

187. Blam, blam, blam, blam, blam, blam.

188. Blam, blam, blam, blam.

189. Guys, I need help!

190. Blam-bla-blam Can't stop shooting

191. Blam-bla-blam Whoa, I'm Greggy, blam-bla-blam

192. Headed somewhere, stud?

193. Uh... Hayley.

194. Uh, I'm off to work, in fact.

195. Oh, not with such a dirty car, you're not.

196. What? I just had it washed.

197. I saw the way you looked at me last night.

198. Like I was a big, juicy meatball you wanted to shred up.

199. Shred up a meatball?

200. That water's got to taste terrible.

201. That can't taste good. What's she doing?

202. Francine, help! It's my discman.

203. I think there might be something wrong.

204. Can you have a listen?

205. Ooh, I love Gloria Estefan!

206. any longer

207. Feel the rhythm of the music Getting stronger

208. Don't you fight it...

209. Phew!

210. Please, get off my car.

211. I need to go to work.

212. But I still have to lick this baby dry.

213. Okay, that's enough!

214. - Yeah, use me like a sponge. - Hey!

215. You trying to shred my meatball, pal?

216. I really don't know what that means.

217. Jeff, don't shoot!

218. Shoot him, Jake, he crazy!

219. - I'll kill you! - Shoot him, shoot him, shoot him!

220. What have I done?

221. You killed Jeff, that's what.

222. It's my dad. He works for the C.I.A.

223. But don't worry, he never liked Jeff.

224. He'll clean this mess up.

225. I'll always love you.

226. Now gather your family,

227. get on that helicopter and never look back!

228. Stan, pick me up!

229. You gonna loop around and scoop me?

230. Do a loop and scoop?

231. Shit, I don't think he's looping.

232. Damn kids.

233. Stan, the time to loop is now!

234. Amazing performances today by all.

235. Especially you, babe.

236. I really believed you when you said Mr. S never liked me.

237. Hey, acting is believing.

238. And believing the truth is easy!

239. Hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody hold up.

240. Tell me someone grabbed the neighbor's doormat for the book.

241. That's your job, Steve.

242. My job was doing burn makeup on what's-his-name.

243. - I thought Klaus... - Bro, come on, man.

244. You know every time you secure the doormat.

245. You rascal!

246. What an actor.

247. Hey, where's the doormat?

248. And I didn't wear underwear today just to punk that thing.

249. Guess I'm the one who got punked.

250. The heck?

251. Hello? Jessica?

252. Okay!

253. This is so embarrassing.

254. I better not run into anyone I know up here.

255. Francine?

256. Mother, what brings you here?

257. Oh, just returning Tuttle's pogo stick

258. he left at our neighbor's house.

259. Being a good neighbor.

260. Phew! I thought you were onto us.

261. I am onto you!

262. What the hell are these old neighbors' doormats doing in this book?

263. And why is our son holding Jessica's doormat?

264. Oh, that's easy.

265. Because we haven't put it in our doormat book yet.

266. What's a doormat book?

267. I have to be honest, I don't know anything about any book.

268. Who brought this here?

269. Can someone besides this moron answer my questions?

270. We're the Cherry Street Neighbor-Haters Club.

271. We chased 'em out of town, okay?

272. Hayley!

273. Your mother and I demand to know why.

274. Stan, I know you're part of this.

275. Francine, I can explain.

276. It all started years ago with the Schumacher family.

277. - You remember how terrible they were. - Those people sucked so hard.

278. And then there were the Tuckers.

279. Oh, suck, suck, suckers.

280. The Klepners.

281. The Goldricks.

282. The Memaris.

283. They were all perfectly good neighbors!

284. Well, by then it was probably more about the fun we were having together.

285. The fun?

286. But the fun stops now, I promise.

287. - Pfft. I ain't promising shit. - I mean it, Hayley.

288. This is the last family we chase out.

289. And the first family you bring back.

290. Get the damn neighbors back!

291. Thanks for putting this gals' brunch together, Jess.

292. It's so great having you back next door.

293. Of course.

294. Hayley, in this house it's no elbows on the table.

295. Oh, sorry. Gosh.

296. - She serious? - It's basic manners, Hayley.

297. I hope fresh squeezed is okay?

298. Mmm! With a little vodka? Yes, please!

299. Sorry, we're a sober house.

300. Oh!

301. Now that's awesome!

302. Well, you should give it a try, Francine.

303. Elbows off the table, Mom.

304. Say, what you cooking, Jess?

305. My famous scrambled eggs.

306. They're perfectly fluffy.

307. Ooh, I make them fluffy too!

308. - The secret is half-and-half. - Water.

309. Water? No, sorry.

310. But it's half-and-half that makes a scrambled egg fluffier.

311. No, it's not. It's just plain water.

312. I want that bitch gone!

313. I want that bitch gone!

314. Okay, that's seven door kicks, Francine.

315. You're ruining our door and our game.

316. When I'm pissed off, I kick doors.

317. That's the woman you married, baby.

318. And those neighbors need to go!

319. But you just had us get them back.

320. That was before I knew Jessica was a weirdo,

321. water-in-her-eggs, sober nerd!

322. Oh, she doesn't drink.

323. She does not drink!

324. I screwed up, okay!

325. But now I get it.

326. And I've been sober all morning.

327. Whose fault is that, Francine?

328. The neighbor's, that's whose fault it is.

329. Hey, she is starting to get it.

330. Cheers to that!

331. Cheers to that.

332. And cheers to that.

333. You may need to get some help, Mrs. S.

334. Help getting that family out of here!

335. That satellite is my ticket back to Earth.

336. Just gotta grab a solar panel and steer it home.

337. Whee!

338. How come we can't think of anything?

339. We've never had trouble getting neighbors out before.

340. Let's face it, guys, we've got schemer's block.

341. I know what we need!

342. - It's cocaine. - Yeah, definitely cocaine.

343. Cocaine!

344. I say we get rockets, a load of duct tape,

345. and blast their house off our street.

346. - Love that. - Oh, that's good!

347. Steve, tell me you got that.

348. I'm having trouble keeping up, Dad.

349. Are you sure I shouldn't have just a little taste?

350. Just give him a gummer, Stan.

351. You crazy? Kid's got huge gums! There won't be enough for us.

352. What if I wear the neighbor's house like a big hat

353. with all the family stuffed inside?

354. And just walk them out of our neighborhood for good!

355. Yes, Tuttle, yes!

356. These ideas are fire.

357. Steve, are you getting all this?

358. I'm doing my best!

359. Now, snap a pic.

360. God, the camera on this phone is so good!

361. I can see, like, shock particles.

362. Hurry, Stan, we need to print that pic and execute the plan now,

363. while our highs are peaking.

364. Oh, Jessica has a printer.

365. And I'm still connected to her Wi-Fi.

366. Bam, just texted you the plans.

367. When we get over there,

368. Francine will find the printer on the sly and print one for everyone.

369. We can all sign one and I'll get it framed.

370. Oh, I love the frame shop. People love me at the frame shop.

371. What am I doing with my life? I should work at the frame shop!

372. Okay, okay, he's got the job.

373. Gotta get a picture.

374. Oh, no!

375. I just sent our plans to the neighbors' printer.

376. Back to Cherry Street!

377. With this piece of satellite,

378. I'll be able to steer any passing meteor down to Earth.

379. Now to wait for a meteor.

380. Mmm. Let's see. Maybe some attention-grabbing ass waggling.

381. Wow, these meteors are thirsty!

382. So, you're the one responsible for baking all these pies.

383. No, these are rotisserie chickens.

384. Wow, that's amazing!

385. Even the boysenberry?

386. - That's a cash register. - Wow!

387. Is somebody printing something?

388. Where's your printer?

389. Everyone, get ready to execute.

390. We need to get out of here now!

391. A little more west and that should put me down in our pool.

392. Found the printer!

393. - Are they gonna hurt us, Mom? - No, Donald.

394. They must be on drugs.

395. They need our help.

396. Jessica!

397. Half-and-half makes fluffier scrambled eggs.

398. Francine, please!

399. This isn't the real you!

400. You've had too much caffeine or sugar maybe.

401. Oh, God, I hope it's not both.

402. But we are not going to abandon you in your time of need.

403. As long as our house is next to yours,

404. we're going to be with you every step of the way.

405. Missed the pool.

406. I did the math!

407. Howdy, neighbors!

408. We're not your neighbors anymore! What she said!

409. Please tell me you saved me a gummer.

410. I'd just like to thank you all

411. for letting me in your little neighbor-hating club.

412. Did we have that vote yet?

413. And even though you've been hiding this club from me for years,

414. I'm willing to forgive you all.

415. Because being in this club is exactly the sense of community

416. that I've been longing for.

417. So, like, do we meet every night? 'Cause I'm available.

418. And what should I wear?

419. Whoa, eager beaver alert.

420. Pump the brakes, Mrs. S.

421. Yeah, pump the beaver, Mom.

422. I'll be right there, Mom!

423. Whoa!

424. Awesome new space kite!

425. Happy birthday, kiddo.