1. So then the mugger tells me
to lie on the ground and count to 100.
Copy !req
2. And, as I got down,
I said, "Thanks. You, too."
Copy !req
3. "You, too." I was mortified.
Copy !req
4. Okay.
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5. I gotta go drain my dame vein.
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6. - What did I miss?
- It's your better half.
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7. Francine is a riot.
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8. You ought to bring her
by the office more, Stan.
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9. It's criminal that we only get her
at these work parties.
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10. Someone call the police!
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11. That's what she could have said
at the mugging.
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12. I don't know. She's the storyteller.
I'm no good at this.
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13. Well, I read a disturbing
statistic recently.
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14. We swallow eight spiders a year
without even realizing it.
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15. I was so scared when I found out,
I couldn't sleep.
Copy !req
16. But that's what I get
for reading Snapple caps before bed.
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17. Now someone else say a thing.
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18. Oh, my God. Bracelet flask. I love it.
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19. You'll appreciate this.
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20. Ooh! Purse flask.
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21. - They make those?
- You are too much.
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22. - I'm Agent Cara.
- Francine.
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23. I'm Stan Smith's wife.
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24. Stanimal? I love that guy.
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25. We work on the interspace
program together.
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26. What's that?
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27. It's pretty cool, actually.
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28. I get to shrink down
to the size of a cell
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29. and go on missions
in other people's bodies.
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30. Like The Magic School Bus.
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31. Exactly like that.
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32. Except if Arnold was a dictator
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33. and Ms. Frizzle was in there
giving him E. coli.
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34. Sorry, I don't mean to keep you
if you need to pee.
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35. Oh, no, I never use the toilets
at these things.
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36. I've got a system.
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37. Are you kidding me?
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38. Good morning, USA
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39. I got a feeling
That it's gonna be a wonderful day
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40. The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face
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41. And he's shining a salute
To the American race
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42. Oh, boy, it's swell to say
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43. Good morning, USA
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44. Good morning, USA
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45. Okay, I'll bite. What's with the wheel?
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46. This is no wheel.
This is a ticket to a better life.
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47. Oh! Nice. Say no more.
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48. Disagree. Say more.
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49. We got really lucky last night
and saw a car crash.
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50. A Lamborghini hit a barricade,
and one of the wheels flew so far,
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51. that after they got the fire out,
everyone just sort of forgot about it.
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52. And now, it's all ours.
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53. It's the most expensive thing
we own. By a lot.
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54. And just the foothold we needed
to finally climb into high society.
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55. Hold on. So you think rolling
an old tire through the streets
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56. is going to make everyone think
you're, what, rich?
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57. Oh, no.
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58. This bad boy will never
touch the ground again.
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59. That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
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60. I love it. I'm clearing my schedule
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61. and following whatever this is
for the rest of the day.
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62. Phew! What a party, huh?
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63. - I had such a great time last night.
- Mmm. Me, too.
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64. Stan, how come you never mentioned Cara?
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65. I'm sure I've talked about her.
C-bone is my number one work dawg.
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66. We share bagels. She's a bottom gal,
and I prefer the top.
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67. Well, I think she's great.
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68. I could see us becoming
really good friends.
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69. Never gonna happen.
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70. What are you talking about, Klaus?
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71. I'm afraid friendship
is off the table, Francine,
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72. because the feeling was not mutual.
Copy !req
73. Cara told me in an email
she sent this morning,
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74. she finds you very off putting.
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75. She said, and these are her words,
"You give off a strong snitch vibe."
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76. What? That's impossible.
We had real chemistry.
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77. Was it because I asked her
if she's ever been all up inside a baby?
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78. I meant like on a mission.
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79. Probably, yes. Okay, I've got to jet.
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80. Look how fast I can run.
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81. Meh.
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82. Okay. Duper's new liver is in,
and Cara is at the extraction point.
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83. Let's pull her out, enlarge her,
and get this guy to happy hour.
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84. Confirm. We've got the ship.
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85. Hang on. Cara's trying to
signal us through the window.
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86. She's... Okay, she's mooning me.
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87. Hey, Francine is here.
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88. Damn it, damn it, damn it.
Copy !req
89. Sorry to interrupt. Is Cara in here?
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90. She got transferred to...
An Armenian deli...
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91. In France.
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92. Oh. All right.
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93. Smith, what on earth was that?
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94. It's my wife, sir.
She always hijacks all my friendships.
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95. And work is the last place I have
where my friends are just mine.
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96. I couldn't risk it happening with Cara.
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97. Come, now, Smith, you can talk to me.
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98. What's really going on?
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99. Uh... I was scared about all the spiders
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100. I must have swallowed
after what you said at the party.
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101. And I need Cara
to do a deep clean for spiders.
Copy !req
102. There, now. Doesn't it
feel better telling the truth?
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103. It's safe to be afraid here, Smith.
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104. Mission approved!
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105. What the Cher?
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106. Hey! Hey!
Can someone out there hear me?
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107. Help!
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108. - Cara?
- Francine?
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109. Get out of town!
It's so great to run into you.
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110. Before you say anything,
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111. I just want to apologize
for making you hate me.
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112. Francine, I don't hate you.
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113. - You don't?
- No.
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114. But can we talk about this later?
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115. I need help.
Something's gone terribly wrong.
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116. One minute,
I'm finishing a mission in Duper,
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117. and the next, I'm in this...
I want to say moose?
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118. It's Stan.
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119. Stan, who lied
about you being transferred,
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120. and about you hating me.
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121. Stan. Stan, wake up
and explain yourself.
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122. Stan!
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123. Hang tight. I'm going
to get a bucket of water
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124. to pour in this guy's face.
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125. Make it a martini. I could use a drink.
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126. Francine. Wanna watch me play
Elden Ring?
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127. I'm an astrologer,
but, like, a battle astrologer.
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128. He's very cool. Very good at stars.
Copy !req
129. Hey, does it seem crazy
that Stan would trap
Copy !req
130. his work friend in his body,
so I wouldn't find her?
Copy !req
131. Crazy? No. Surprising? Also, no.
Copy !req
132. Tell me what you know.
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133. Well, it wouldn't be the first time
Copy !req
134. Stan has done something wild
to shield his work friends from you.
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135. From me? I'm great.
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136. Exactly.
Copy !req
137. Look, do you remember
Brock from the lab?
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138. Of course. I love Brock.
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139. And what happened when you two
started becoming friends?
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140. Stan told me he got into Scientology
Copy !req
141. and cut all the suppressive people
out of his life.
Copy !req
142. Mmm. What about Sharon, the assassin?
Copy !req
143. Sharon.
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144. She fell in love with the sea.
Copy !req
145. Sure. Tony, the pilot?
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146. Stan said he became a reverse werewolf
who's only human on full moons,
Copy !req
147. so he's really busy those nights.
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148. Oh, God damn it!
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149. Actually, that one is true.
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150. But it was Stan's fault.
Copy !req
151. - But why?
- He's afraid.
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152. He doesn't want you close to his friends
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153. because he knows
you're way more charismatic than he is,
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154. and they'll become
better friends with you.
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155. I mean, I get it. I like you way more.
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156. It's why I'm giving you
all this information,
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157. even though he swore me to secrecy.
Copy !req
158. But I really like Cara.
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159. I'm going to talk to Stan.
Copy !req
160. You could. But, trust me,
once he knows the jig is up,
Copy !req
161. he'll just find another way to make sure
you and Cara will never ever be friends.
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162. He's had a lot of practice.
Copy !req
163. Thanks. Okay.
Copy !req
164. Good luck being a fighting
weatherman or whatever.
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165. I can tell you're being dismissive,
but that's dead on,
Copy !req
166. so I can't be mad.
Copy !req
167. Oh, Francine, did you know
some cats are allergic to humans?
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168. A truly haunting rumination.
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169. Fire up your shrinking machine.
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170. I've got to go inside Stan
and rescue your interspace agent.
Copy !req
171. Come on now. Talk to Avery.
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172. What's the real reason
you're doing this?
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173. Um, I think Stan swallowed
some of the Monopoly houses?
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174. Trading be damned!
Let's get you little.
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175. In you go, Francine.
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176. Okay. You can do this.
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177. Shoo! Shoo!
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178. It's Cara!
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179. So you think that tire
is going to get you into Ataxia,
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180. the most exclusive nightclub
in all of Langley?
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181. You're going to get laughed at.
Copy !req
182. And I, for one, am here for it.
Can't wait.
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183. Holy mackerel.
That's Lamborghini rubber.
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184. Come right in.
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185. Son of a bitch!
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186. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
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187. Hey, is that from a Lambo? So sick.
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188. You guys got to come watch
the fight with us in Atlantic City.
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189. We're taking a helicopter.
It's Adele's birthday.
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190. Lambo, with me.
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191. Son of a bitch!
Copy !req
192. And I guess
he's been doing this for years.
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193. - I'm sorry you got caught up in it.
- Stop.
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194. It was a hell of a thing
you did coming in here after me.
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195. I was hoping I'd see you again.
Copy !req
196. Me, too.
Copy !req
197. I can't believe Stan's being so petty.
Copy !req
198. We should plug one of his arteries.
Copy !req
199. Let's hide one of his testicles
up inside his body.
Copy !req
200. That happened once,
when he got scared by a firework.
Copy !req
201. Hello.
Betrayer.
Copy !req
202. You went inside me
without my permission.
Copy !req
203. There's a word for people
who do that, Francine.
Copy !req
204. - Parasite.
- I also feel betrayed.
Copy !req
205. Slow down. You kidnapped Cara.
Copy !req
206. To protect her because you always go
to these incredible lengths
Copy !req
207. just to steal my friends.
Copy !req
208. That's not at all what I'm doing.
Copy !req
209. Get back to the extraction point
and come home.
Copy !req
210. I forbid you to see Cara.
Copy !req
211. We're already together.
Copy !req
212. She's there? Tell her I said,
"What's up?"
Copy !req
213. - Stan says hi.
- "Hi"?
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214. You make me sound like a dork.
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215. Boy, you really can't help yourself.
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216. You're being completely unreasonable!
Copy !req
217. You take some time to cool off.
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218. In the meantime,
Cara and I will be in here bonding.
Copy !req
219. That was fun.
Copy !req
220. Do you want to go to the roof
and shoot our guns?
Copy !req
221. I need to get them out
and away from each other.
Copy !req
222. Is there any other way to get them out?
Copy !req
223. Smith, we're the CIA.
Copy !req
224. We'll force them out
even if we have to kill you to do it.
Copy !req
225. Had enough?
Copy !req
226. What? Francine, I can barely hear you.
Copy !req
227. What spiders?
Copy !req
228. Your brain is riddled
with spiders.
Copy !req
229. We've had to abandon ship!
Copy !req
230. Spiders?
Copy !req
231. I warned you.
Copy !req
232. Francine's in trouble.
I need to get in me.
Copy !req
233. Interesting. And how will that work?
Copy !req
234. Walk me through the logistics, I mean.
Copy !req
235. We don't have time for this.
Copy !req
236. Just shrink me down
and get me inside me.
Copy !req
237. Okay. Yeah, I hear it now.
Copy !req
238. What we need is to build
a team of agents
Copy !req
239. uniquely suited for this mission.
Copy !req
240. We'll need an ace pilot,
a stone-cold killer,
Copy !req
241. a brain expert, a bard to sing
the story of their triumph, and...
Copy !req
242. Oh, no.
Copy !req
243. Smith, are the spiders in your eyes?
Copy !req
244. Hold still until I can get a glass
and a piece of paper.
Copy !req
245. No. The problem is I know
the perfect team for this mission.
Copy !req
246. I just really don't want
to make the call.
Copy !req
247. What could be so bad that you would risk
the lives of your wife and fellow agent?
Copy !req
248. They're all work friends
Copy !req
249. that I've been keeping from Francine.
Copy !req
250. So it's gonna be
like the movie Innerspace.
Copy !req
251. I don't have time to explain the plot,
so we'll just watch it on my phone.
Copy !req
252. Okay, so that was Dunston Checks In.
Copy !req
253. I couldn't find Innerspace on YouTube,
Copy !req
254. but you'll get the gist
once you're in the tiny spaceship.
Copy !req
255. Primary objective, rescue a fellow agent
as well as Francine.
Copy !req
256. Oh, my God, Francine!
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257. Francine? How is she?
Copy !req
258. Never mind.
This was a bad idea.
Copy !req
259. You can all go home.
Copy !req
260. - It has to be me.
- Stan.
Copy !req
261. All right, here's the deal.
Copy !req
262. I handpicked each of you
because you're invaluable to this op.
Copy !req
263. Sharon, you're the best tracker
on the force.
Copy !req
264. Thanks, Stan.
Copy !req
265. And you deserve to know
Copy !req
266. Francine didn't get the acting bug
and move to the Himalayas.
Copy !req
267. Also, no one is calling Nepal
the new Hollywood.
Copy !req
268. Tony, my ride-or-die reverse wolfman.
Copy !req
269. I appreciate you
squeezing us in on a full moon.
Copy !req
270. Also, Francine is not a regular werewolf
Copy !req
271. whose schedule is therefore
completely incompatible with yours.
Copy !req
272. Water under the bridge, Stan.
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273. Brock, buddy, you know brains,
Copy !req
274. and I'm counting on you
to keep mine safe.
Copy !req
275. Also, Francine didn't get stuck in the
wet concrete of the 11th Street Bridge,
Copy !req
276. and I don't go
to sing to her every new year.
Copy !req
277. Well, it was a nice sentiment
all the same.
Copy !req
278. And, Morgan Freeman, history will
want to know what happened here,
Copy !req
279. and you're just the guy to narrate it.
Copy !req
280. Smart. Save it for the field.
Copy !req
281. The truth is, my wife is amazing.
Copy !req
282. I lied to all of you because
I was afraid you'd like her more,
Copy !req
283. and I'd be left in the lurch
as the second banana,
Copy !req
284. but that's not her fault.
Copy !req
285. I'd like the chance
to say all this to her, too,
Copy !req
286. so please bring her home.
Copy !req
287. You think I should have
warned them about spiders?
Copy !req
288. Well, we did everything we wanted.
Copy !req
289. We reached the top.
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290. High stakes Go Fish,
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291. backstage with Rod Stewart,
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292. a limo ride through
a Burger King drive-through
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293. with a snow leopard.
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294. You guys want some Rita's water ice?
Copy !req
295. The owner saw your wheel
and opened up early.
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296. Guys, they've got blood orange.
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297. Lamborghini wheel,
you made our dreams come true.
Copy !req
298. Now it's time for you
to do that for someone else.
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299. I only wish we had more wheels to give.
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300. You're not going to believe this,
Copy !req
301. but there's a Lamborghini
with a flat tire.
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302. The guy looks pretty desperate.
Copy !req
303. No, the tire chooses.
Copy !req
304. This moment,
this is what they will remember us for.
Copy !req
305. Remember, the slightest damage
to the brain
Copy !req
306. can have catastrophic consequences
for Stan,
Copy !req
307. so follow my instructions very...
Copy !req
308. Holy shit!
Copy !req
309. Hostiles incoming!
Copy !req
310. Find Francine. I'll hold them off.
Copy !req
311. So how do you feel like
it's going in there?
Copy !req
312. Pretty good, I think.
Copy !req
313. Freeman!
Copy !req
314. We sure could use
a poignant pep talk right about now.
Copy !req
315. Francine?
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316. Sharon?
Copy !req
317. Shut up!
Copy !req
318. How are you?
Copy !req
319. Pretty good. Working a lot.
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320. Can you guys climb out?
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321. No. I think my leg is broken.
Copy !req
322. Well, I guess no news
is good news, right?
Copy !req
323. But when stretchy jeans came out,
Copy !req
324. boom, that was the real
game changer for wolfmen.
Copy !req
325. My quality of life went way up.
Copy !req
326. Tony, can I ask you something?
Copy !req
327. - Aren't you angry?
- About what?
Copy !req
328. It's Stan's fault
you're a reverse werewolf.
Copy !req
329. And he did it
just to keep us from being friends.
Copy !req
330. A little, but I also feel for him.
Copy !req
331. It's got to be tough
always getting eclipsed
Copy !req
332. by the person you love the most.
Copy !req
333. Kinda lonely, I'd think.
Copy !req
334. And there's no escaping that.
Copy !req
335. At least I get one night off a month.
Copy !req
336. I guess so.
Copy !req
337. Let's kill it.
Copy !req
338. It's a baby now,
but we have no idea how big it'll get.
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339. I don't know.
Copy !req
340. It can't get more than eight feet.
Copy !req
341. And then, out of nowhere,
Copy !req
342. Sharon's head just pops up
over the ledge like this.
Copy !req
343. Like a dead turtle.
Copy !req
344. A toast! To an unbreakable friendship.
Copy !req
345. Damn it!
Copy !req
346. I can't imagine this is easy for you.
Copy !req
347. Are you angry?
Copy !req
348. Only at myself.
Copy !req
349. I'm so sorry about everything.
Copy !req
350. Francine, I was just jealous of the way
you pull people into your orbit,
Copy !req
351. but now I realize
I'm in that orbit, too.
Copy !req
352. And there's nowhere else
I'd rather be, baby.
Copy !req
353. Oh, Stan.
Copy !req
354. And through it all,
Stan learned the most important lesson,
Copy !req
355. no amount of fighting or bargaining
Copy !req
356. will ever slow the hands
of Old Father Time.
Copy !req
357. Children grow up,
whether you're ready for it or not.
Copy !req
358. I assume that's what he learned anyway.
I'm pretty loaded.
Copy !req
359. You know, Jack Nicholson gave me
this bathing suit
Copy !req
360. on the set of The Bucket List.
Copy !req
361. That man just gives and gives and gives.
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