American Dad! 20x10

Directed by Tim Parsons

Phill Lewis as Duper (voice) • Patrick Stewart as Avery Bullock (voice) • David Koechner as Dick Reynolds (voice) • Jeff Fischer as Jeff Fischer (voice) • Paget Brewster as Adele (voice)

When Stan goes too far to keep his work friend away from Francine, she is forced to save her new "little" friend.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. So then the mugger tells me to lie on the ground and count to 100.

2. And, as I got down, I said, "Thanks. You, too."

3. "You, too." I was mortified.

4. Okay.

5. I gotta go drain my dame vein.

6. - What did I miss? - It's your better half.

7. Francine is a riot.

8. You ought to bring her by the office more, Stan.

9. It's criminal that we only get her at these work parties.

10. Someone call the police!

11. That's what she could have said at the mugging.

12. I don't know. She's the storyteller. I'm no good at this.

13. Well, I read a disturbing statistic recently.

14. We swallow eight spiders a year without even realizing it.

15. I was so scared when I found out, I couldn't sleep.

16. But that's what I get for reading Snapple caps before bed.

17. Now someone else say a thing.

18. Oh, my God. Bracelet flask. I love it.

19. You'll appreciate this.

20. Ooh! Purse flask.

21. - They make those? - You are too much.

22. - I'm Agent Cara. - Francine.

23. I'm Stan Smith's wife.

24. Stanimal? I love that guy.

25. We work on the interspace program together.

26. What's that?

27. It's pretty cool, actually.

28. I get to shrink down to the size of a cell

29. and go on missions in other people's bodies.

30. Like The Magic School Bus.

31. Exactly like that.

32. Except if Arnold was a dictator

33. and Ms. Frizzle was in there giving him E. coli.

34. Sorry, I don't mean to keep you if you need to pee.

35. Oh, no, I never use the toilets at these things.

36. I've got a system.

37. Are you kidding me?

38. Good morning, USA

39. I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day

40. The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face

41. And he's shining a salute To the American race

42. Oh, boy, it's swell to say

43. Good morning, USA

44. Good morning, USA

45. Okay, I'll bite. What's with the wheel?

46. This is no wheel. This is a ticket to a better life.

47. Oh! Nice. Say no more.

48. Disagree. Say more.

49. We got really lucky last night and saw a car crash.

50. A Lamborghini hit a barricade, and one of the wheels flew so far,

51. that after they got the fire out, everyone just sort of forgot about it.

52. And now, it's all ours.

53. It's the most expensive thing we own. By a lot.

54. And just the foothold we needed to finally climb into high society.

55. Hold on. So you think rolling an old tire through the streets

56. is going to make everyone think you're, what, rich?

57. Oh, no.

58. This bad boy will never touch the ground again.

59. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

60. I love it. I'm clearing my schedule

61. and following whatever this is for the rest of the day.

62. Phew! What a party, huh?

63. - I had such a great time last night. - Mmm. Me, too.

64. Stan, how come you never mentioned Cara?

65. I'm sure I've talked about her. C-bone is my number one work dawg.

66. We share bagels. She's a bottom gal, and I prefer the top.

67. Well, I think she's great.

68. I could see us becoming really good friends.

69. Never gonna happen.

70. What are you talking about, Klaus?

71. I'm afraid friendship is off the table, Francine,

72. because the feeling was not mutual.

73. Cara told me in an email she sent this morning,

74. she finds you very off putting.

75. She said, and these are her words, "You give off a strong snitch vibe."

76. What? That's impossible. We had real chemistry.

77. Was it because I asked her if she's ever been all up inside a baby?

78. I meant like on a mission.

79. Probably, yes. Okay, I've got to jet.

80. Look how fast I can run.

81. Meh.

82. Okay. Duper's new liver is in, and Cara is at the extraction point.

83. Let's pull her out, enlarge her, and get this guy to happy hour.

84. Confirm. We've got the ship.

85. Hang on. Cara's trying to signal us through the window.

86. She's... Okay, she's mooning me.

87. Hey, Francine is here.

88. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

89. Sorry to interrupt. Is Cara in here?

90. She got transferred to... An Armenian deli...

91. In France.

92. Oh. All right.

93. Smith, what on earth was that?

94. It's my wife, sir. She always hijacks all my friendships.

95. And work is the last place I have where my friends are just mine.

96. I couldn't risk it happening with Cara.

97. Come, now, Smith, you can talk to me.

98. What's really going on?

99. Uh... I was scared about all the spiders

100. I must have swallowed after what you said at the party.

101. And I need Cara to do a deep clean for spiders.

102. There, now. Doesn't it feel better telling the truth?

103. It's safe to be afraid here, Smith.

104. Mission approved!

105. What the Cher?

106. Hey! Hey! Can someone out there hear me?

107. Help!

108. - Cara? - Francine?

109. Get out of town! It's so great to run into you.

110. Before you say anything,

111. I just want to apologize for making you hate me.

112. Francine, I don't hate you.

113. - You don't? - No.

114. But can we talk about this later?

115. I need help. Something's gone terribly wrong.

116. One minute, I'm finishing a mission in Duper,

117. and the next, I'm in this... I want to say moose?

118. It's Stan.

119. Stan, who lied about you being transferred,

120. and about you hating me.

121. Stan. Stan, wake up and explain yourself.

122. Stan!

123. Hang tight. I'm going to get a bucket of water

124. to pour in this guy's face.

125. Make it a martini. I could use a drink.

126. Francine. Wanna watch me play Elden Ring?

127. I'm an astrologer, but, like, a battle astrologer.

128. He's very cool. Very good at stars.

129. Hey, does it seem crazy that Stan would trap

130. his work friend in his body, so I wouldn't find her?

131. Crazy? No. Surprising? Also, no.

132. Tell me what you know.

133. Well, it wouldn't be the first time

134. Stan has done something wild to shield his work friends from you.

135. From me? I'm great.

136. Exactly.

137. Look, do you remember Brock from the lab?

138. Of course. I love Brock.

139. And what happened when you two started becoming friends?

140. Stan told me he got into Scientology

141. and cut all the suppressive people out of his life.

142. Mmm. What about Sharon, the assassin?

143. Sharon.

144. She fell in love with the sea.

145. Sure. Tony, the pilot?

146. Stan said he became a reverse werewolf who's only human on full moons,

147. so he's really busy those nights.

148. Oh, God damn it!

149. Actually, that one is true.

150. But it was Stan's fault.

151. - But why? - He's afraid.

152. He doesn't want you close to his friends

153. because he knows you're way more charismatic than he is,

154. and they'll become better friends with you.

155. I mean, I get it. I like you way more.

156. It's why I'm giving you all this information,

157. even though he swore me to secrecy.

158. But I really like Cara.

159. I'm going to talk to Stan.

160. You could. But, trust me, once he knows the jig is up,

161. he'll just find another way to make sure you and Cara will never ever be friends.

162. He's had a lot of practice.

163. Thanks. Okay.

164. Good luck being a fighting weatherman or whatever.

165. I can tell you're being dismissive, but that's dead on,

166. so I can't be mad.

167. Oh, Francine, did you know some cats are allergic to humans?

168. A truly haunting rumination.

169. Fire up your shrinking machine.

170. I've got to go inside Stan and rescue your interspace agent.

171. Come on now. Talk to Avery.

172. What's the real reason you're doing this?

173. Um, I think Stan swallowed some of the Monopoly houses?

174. Trading be damned! Let's get you little.

175. In you go, Francine.

176. Okay. You can do this.

177. Shoo! Shoo!

178. It's Cara!

179. So you think that tire is going to get you into Ataxia,

180. the most exclusive nightclub in all of Langley?

181. You're going to get laughed at.

182. And I, for one, am here for it. Can't wait.

183. Holy mackerel. That's Lamborghini rubber.

184. Come right in.

185. Son of a bitch!

186. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?

187. Hey, is that from a Lambo? So sick.

188. You guys got to come watch the fight with us in Atlantic City.

189. We're taking a helicopter. It's Adele's birthday.

190. Lambo, with me.

191. Son of a bitch!

192. And I guess he's been doing this for years.

193. - I'm sorry you got caught up in it. - Stop.

194. It was a hell of a thing you did coming in here after me.

195. I was hoping I'd see you again.

196. Me, too.

197. I can't believe Stan's being so petty.

198. We should plug one of his arteries.

199. Let's hide one of his testicles up inside his body.

200. That happened once, when he got scared by a firework.

201. Hello. Betrayer.

202. You went inside me without my permission.

203. There's a word for people who do that, Francine.

204. - Parasite. - I also feel betrayed.

205. Slow down. You kidnapped Cara.

206. To protect her because you always go to these incredible lengths

207. just to steal my friends.

208. That's not at all what I'm doing.

209. Get back to the extraction point and come home.

210. I forbid you to see Cara.

211. We're already together.

212. She's there? Tell her I said, "What's up?"

213. - Stan says hi. - "Hi"?

214. You make me sound like a dork.

215. Boy, you really can't help yourself.

216. You're being completely unreasonable!

217. You take some time to cool off.

218. In the meantime, Cara and I will be in here bonding.

219. That was fun.

220. Do you want to go to the roof and shoot our guns?

221. I need to get them out and away from each other.

222. Is there any other way to get them out?

223. Smith, we're the CIA.

224. We'll force them out even if we have to kill you to do it.

225. Had enough?

226. What? Francine, I can barely hear you.

227. What spiders?

228. Your brain is riddled with spiders.

229. We've had to abandon ship!

230. Spiders?

231. I warned you.

232. Francine's in trouble. I need to get in me.

233. Interesting. And how will that work?

234. Walk me through the logistics, I mean.

235. We don't have time for this.

236. Just shrink me down and get me inside me.

237. Okay. Yeah, I hear it now.

238. What we need is to build a team of agents

239. uniquely suited for this mission.

240. We'll need an ace pilot, a stone-cold killer,

241. a brain expert, a bard to sing the story of their triumph, and...

242. Oh, no.

243. Smith, are the spiders in your eyes?

244. Hold still until I can get a glass and a piece of paper.

245. No. The problem is I know the perfect team for this mission.

246. I just really don't want to make the call.

247. What could be so bad that you would risk the lives of your wife and fellow agent?

248. They're all work friends

249. that I've been keeping from Francine.

250. So it's gonna be like the movie Innerspace.

251. I don't have time to explain the plot, so we'll just watch it on my phone.

252. Okay, so that was Dunston Checks In.

253. I couldn't find Innerspace on YouTube,

254. but you'll get the gist once you're in the tiny spaceship.

255. Primary objective, rescue a fellow agent as well as Francine.

256. Oh, my God, Francine!

257. Francine? How is she?

258. Never mind. This was a bad idea.

259. You can all go home.

260. - It has to be me. - Stan.

261. All right, here's the deal.

262. I handpicked each of you because you're invaluable to this op.

263. Sharon, you're the best tracker on the force.

264. Thanks, Stan.

265. And you deserve to know

266. Francine didn't get the acting bug and move to the Himalayas.

267. Also, no one is calling Nepal the new Hollywood.

268. Tony, my ride-or-die reverse wolfman.

269. I appreciate you squeezing us in on a full moon.

270. Also, Francine is not a regular werewolf

271. whose schedule is therefore completely incompatible with yours.

272. Water under the bridge, Stan.

273. Brock, buddy, you know brains,

274. and I'm counting on you to keep mine safe.

275. Also, Francine didn't get stuck in the wet concrete of the 11th Street Bridge,

276. and I don't go to sing to her every new year.

277. Well, it was a nice sentiment all the same.

278. And, Morgan Freeman, history will want to know what happened here,

279. and you're just the guy to narrate it.

280. Smart. Save it for the field.

281. The truth is, my wife is amazing.

282. I lied to all of you because I was afraid you'd like her more,

283. and I'd be left in the lurch as the second banana,

284. but that's not her fault.

285. I'd like the chance to say all this to her, too,

286. so please bring her home.

287. You think I should have warned them about spiders?

288. Well, we did everything we wanted.

289. We reached the top.

290. High stakes Go Fish,

291. backstage with Rod Stewart,

292. a limo ride through a Burger King drive-through

293. with a snow leopard.

294. You guys want some Rita's water ice?

295. The owner saw your wheel and opened up early.

296. Guys, they've got blood orange.

297. Lamborghini wheel, you made our dreams come true.

298. Now it's time for you to do that for someone else.

299. I only wish we had more wheels to give.

300. You're not going to believe this,

301. but there's a Lamborghini with a flat tire.

302. The guy looks pretty desperate.

303. No, the tire chooses.

304. This moment, this is what they will remember us for.

305. Remember, the slightest damage to the brain

306. can have catastrophic consequences for Stan,

307. so follow my instructions very...

308. Holy shit!

309. Hostiles incoming!

310. Find Francine. I'll hold them off.

311. So how do you feel like it's going in there?

312. Pretty good, I think.

313. Freeman!

314. We sure could use a poignant pep talk right about now.

315. Francine?

316. Sharon?

317. Shut up!

318. How are you?

319. Pretty good. Working a lot.

320. Can you guys climb out?

321. No. I think my leg is broken.

322. Well, I guess no news is good news, right?

323. But when stretchy jeans came out,

324. boom, that was the real game changer for wolfmen.

325. My quality of life went way up.

326. Tony, can I ask you something?

327. - Aren't you angry? - About what?

328. It's Stan's fault you're a reverse werewolf.

329. And he did it just to keep us from being friends.

330. A little, but I also feel for him.

331. It's got to be tough always getting eclipsed

332. by the person you love the most.

333. Kinda lonely, I'd think.

334. And there's no escaping that.

335. At least I get one night off a month.

336. I guess so.

337. Let's kill it.

338. It's a baby now, but we have no idea how big it'll get.

339. I don't know.

340. It can't get more than eight feet.

341. And then, out of nowhere,

342. Sharon's head just pops up over the ledge like this.

343. Like a dead turtle.

344. A toast! To an unbreakable friendship.

345. Damn it!

346. I can't imagine this is easy for you.

347. Are you angry?

348. Only at myself.

349. I'm so sorry about everything.

350. Francine, I was just jealous of the way you pull people into your orbit,

351. but now I realize I'm in that orbit, too.

352. And there's nowhere else I'd rather be, baby.

353. Oh, Stan.

354. And through it all, Stan learned the most important lesson,

355. no amount of fighting or bargaining

356. will ever slow the hands of Old Father Time.

357. Children grow up, whether you're ready for it or not.

358. I assume that's what he learned anyway. I'm pretty loaded.

359. You know, Jack Nicholson gave me this bathing suit

360. on the set of The Bucket List.

361. That man just gives and gives and gives.