American Dad! 1x6

Directed by Rodney Clouden

Gina Gershon as Karen (voice) • William Fichtner as Harland (voice) • Elias Koteas as Jim (voice) • Matthew Lillard as Bruce (voice) • Abraham Benrubi as Todd (voice)

Francine decides to throw a block party to get in touch with the neighborhood. Stan learns his new neighbors are Iranian and immediately suspects that they are terrorists. To prepare Steve for living near terrorists, Stan makes Steve join a group of scouts, who turn out to be trouble makers. Roger is convinced he possesses hidden alien powers and is determined to find out what they are.

Request examples:

!req American Dad! 1x6 [02:32]
!req American Dad! 1x6 [American Dad! 1x6]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req American Dad! 1x6 [10-11]; !req American Dad! 1x6 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Aw, damn.

2. - That jabber-jaw Tuttle's still watering his lawn. - Hey-ey!

3. Stan, this is the sixth time we've circled the block.

4. I have to pee, and I'm not going in the cup again.

5. Tie a knot in it, Francine.

6. I will not get stuck talking to

7. Mr. Sincerely-Wants-to-Know- How-You're-Doing Guy.

8. God, his genuine interest makes me sick.

9. - Oh, come on. - He's perfectly nice.

10. In today's world, perfectly nice gets you perfectly dead.

11. Stupid gas guzzler— that I, as an American, have every right to drive.

12. - How you doing? - Oh.

13. - Seriously, I genuinely want to know. - Now's not a good time.

14. I just, uh, slammed my hand in the car door.

15. You understand. Come on, Francine.

16. - Say hi to Betty for me. - Oh, I would,

17. but she died six months ago— the big "C."

18. - Cancer? - Naw, the big letter "C" from the Coca-Cola sign.

19. Fell right on top of her.

20. Betty died? How did I get so out of touch?

21. I used to be friends with everyone on the block.

22. Well, you still have friends— like... the washing machine.

23. And the family of skillets.

24. "Honey, are we driving to your sister's wedding?"

25. "No, we're frying." Get it?

26. Oh, come on, Francine. How about a courtesy laugh? They're your friends.

27. I wish I could just throw a party and reconnect with everyone.

28. - But of course, I can't. - Why not?

29. Because, Stan, your security clearances and background checks

30. make people uncomfortable.

31. Remember game night with the McClearys?

32. And that's the last time I buy prewashed spinach in a bag.

33. Ah. So, Laura, you had an abortion in college.

34. What?

35. Okay, Sports and Leisure for the wedge.

36. I just wish that for one afternoon,

37. you could stop being C.I.A. guy,

38. and just be a normal husband so I could have some friends.

39. Gosh, Francine, I didn't know friends meant that much to you.

40. Hey, you know what?

41. You're gonna throw that party, and it's gonna be

42. - the bestest party in all the land. - Oh, Stan, really?

43. You promise you'll be good?

44. I'll be better than good. I'll be fun, starting now.

45. I'll be fun in the kitchen. I'll be fun in the bedroom.

46. I'll be fun in the dining room,

47. and I'll be fun at Costco when we're shopping for bulk paper towels.

48. The alien in this video game is awesome.

49. He shoots laser beams, he levitates—

50. He's the coolest alien ever.

51. - Oh, I didn't mean— - No, no, no, no. You said it.

52. It's out there. Now we have to live with it.

53. Well, it's kind of true.

54. - You don't have any special powers, do you? - I'm a good listener.

55. Do you know how rare that is in this universe?

56. Yeah, that'll take down an F-14.

57. - Can't you do anything? - Well, I can get my feelings hurt

58. and throw a world-class hissy fit.

59. I wish he'd get sick like E.T.

60. Yes, it's going to be a block party.

61. So we'll provide the burgers and beer,

62. as long as you provide your charming selves.

63. So... no cavity search?

64. - Available on request. - Oh, you.

65. Wow! I'm so proud of you.

66. You actually are being fun.

67. Oh, Francine, F-U-N.

68. That spells fun, and that's what I am, a guy who spells fun.

69. - That just leaves the new neighbors. - New neighbors?

70. "Memari." Oh, God, tell me they're not Italian.

71. No, I think they're Iranian.

72. - Holy Ayatollah! - Hi. We're your neighbors, Stan and Francine Smith.

73. We came to invite you to our block party.

74. Oh, terrific. Bob and Linda Memari.

75. - We'd love to come. - Well, maybe some other time.

76. Aah! So, what part of Islam do you hail from?

77. Well, my parents were from Iran, but I was born in Cleveland.

78. Really? You know, we also have a Cleveland here in America,

79. and it'd be just super if you didn't blow it up.

80. So, the block party starts at 3:00 and goes till question mark.

81. It's potluck, so bring whatever you want.

82. But not smallpox. Ha! Kidding.

83. Kind of joking, but not really.

84. The enemies of freedom have infiltrated our neighborhood.

85. Your mother might be in denial, but the rest of us will be prepared.

86. So that's why I have to join the dorky Scout Rangers?

87. Hey, the Rangers will teach you the skills you need to survive,

88. whether the apocalypse comes in six months or seven months.

89. Ahoy, Rangers. Is the scoutmaster around?

90. He stepped out for a minute, but my name's Joey.

91. - Can I help you, sir? - Yes. My son is soft.

92. I want you to make him "Rangerific."

93. Oh, that's good. By the way, that's trade-marked.

94. You can't just use that. Well, good luck.

95. Stand straight, Ranger.

96. One day you'll look back on this day and—

97. Okay, Dudley Do-Right's gone.

98. Hey, Spider, beer me.

99. Stan, the party's starting.

100. You're still planning on being fun, right?

101. You betcha. Just undergoing a little last-minute "funification."

102. Well, I think I'm fully strapped.

103. There might be some room left in the vast wasteland

104. between your testicles and anus, hmm?

105. Nope. Ocupado.

106. - Well, I gotta go to a Rangers meeting. - Hold up, Son.

107. - Remember how I taught you Morse code? - Yeah.

108. Well, if you're ever taken hostage, by, say, a neighbor,

109. and you end up on al-Jazeera,

110. just blink your coordinates in Morse code, like this.

111. And I'll have a bomb dropped on your location.

112. - But then I'd be dead. - Oh, come on, sport.

113. There are plenty of kids in heaven to play with.

114. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist.

115. She must be at least 16 by now. You could totally hit that.

116. Well, Stan and I thought it'd be nice to get the neighbors together.

117. Hey, who's that woman in the tennis dress?

118. Karen Foster. Wanna meet her?

119. No, I just want Greg to check out her sun-damaged skin.

120. That's the kind of leather I want for the couch in the den.

121. Mmm. Yeah, nice.

122. Hey, Stan. Cheese platter?

123. Great. I'll just put it over here on the international table.

124. - Anyway, glad you could make it. - Are you frisking me?

125. Uh, frisking you? No, no, no, no.

126. This is just how white people say hello. Hey, grab me a beer?

127. Yeah, keep digging. Cold ones are at the bottom.

128. - What the hell are you doing? - What?

129. I like to check orifices for explosives.

130. It's a quirk. Indulge me.

131. Not very neighborly.

132. - Okay, Smith, you are hereby an official Ranger— - Awesome!

133. if you can recite the oath before the flame hits your hand.

134. - And show us your penis. - Dude, we don't do that.

135. Right, I know. Imagine if we did.

136. That'd be gay, right?

137. I promise to mislead, deceive, beguile, delude— Aah!

138. No!

139. Holy crap, Smith. That was awesome!

140. You're one of us now.

141. - What was that for? - For being such a good sport.

142. I don't wanna toot my own horn, but I think this party's a big hit.

143. - Toot! - Well, that's enough sangria.

144. You know, Francine, I guess our neighbors are okay.

145. They're like a bowl of international Chex mix—

146. if you eat 'em by the handful, they all taste American.

147. I guess what I'm trying to say is,

148. deep down we're all— Under attack!

149. What? Under attack? Who's attacking us?

150. The terrorists.

151. Everyone in your homes, now!

152. You ruined everything!

153. Everything?

154. Oh, that's the hyperbole police coming to take you away

155. and lock you up in "Exaggeration-traz."

156. I think I made my point.

157. Eloquent.

158. I was finally making friends, Stan.

159. - How could you ruin my party? - It was easy.

160. I just yelled "terrorists" and everyone ran away.

161. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you asked how did I ruin your party,

162. and I'm, like, "You were there, baby. You had a front-row seat."

163. Dad, what you did was racial profiling.

164. The Memaris had nothing to do with that gazebo and everyone knows it.

165. These people are trying to destroy us and you want proof?

166. - Yes. - Oh. Well, that's fair. I'll go get some.

167. Hello, phone bill.

168. - Dr. Cohen? - Uh, sure, why not?

169. Just get comfortable, Mrs. Memari, and we'll take a look.

170. Mmm. Very nice.

171. I wish Francine kept hers this clean.

172. Aha! What have we here?

173. - Tic Tacs? - Doctor!

174. Why are you going through my purse?

175. Move. Come on, move!

176. I can't see their terrorist-related activities.

177. Damn it!

178. Hey, all I was trying to do

179. - was keep my country and my family safe. - I hear you.

180. All I was trying to do was keep my little sister safe

181. by killing her boyfriend and eating his brain.

182. Let's be friends.

183. I must have some special power. Think, Roger, think!

184. Perhaps you have the ability to walk through walls.

185. - I don't know. - You won't know if you don't try.

186. Aah!

187. It's times like this I wish I had a wife,

188. so I could turn to her and say,

189. "Stop eating bread, you fat pig.

190. Look at your thighs. You disgust me."

191. Burning down the gazebo?

192. Smith, you have taken us to the next level.

193. Uh, about that? I don't know if I'm Ranger material.

194. I'm thinking about hanging up my kerchief.

195. - Hey, no problem. - Really? I can just quit?

196. Sure, it's easy. Just ask the last guy who wanted out.

197. We're gonna take your skin, man.

198. Please stop. I can't take it anymore.

199. - Dad! - Thank God, Hayley. Get me out of here.

200. This psycho is putting on a production of South Pacific,

201. and he's stepping on all my lines.

202. Guess you didn't find any proof the Memaris are terrorists.

203. Listen, Miss Freedom Hater, the Memaris are going to strike again,

204. and I have to get them off the street before they do.

205. The good news is, in the time I've been locked up,

206. I realized just how to do that.

207. Guard! Oh, wait a second. It's front-hook.

208. I see it. I see it.

209. Bob, Linda.

210. There they are. Oh, Francine, I forgot to tell you.

211. I invited Bob and Linda for brunch so I could apologize—

212. - poolside. - Oh, Stan, thank you.

213. I've acted horribly to you guys.

214. - I'm sorry— - Sorry you're terrorists!

215. Stan, you turned our yard into a prison camp?

216. Detention center, Francine.

217. By keeping them here, they can't strike again.

218. - You can't do this. - Uh-huh. The United States Patriot Act says I can.

219. Stan, let them out. This isn't funny.

220. Oh, oh! Linda's making a run for the gate.

221. Come on, Francine. You can't tell me that's not funny.

222. You ready to start talking?

223. I want your full confession on tape.

224. - We didn't do anything. - I'm sorry. Terrorist says what?

225. - What? - I thought so.

226. How could you do this to me, Stan?

227. - It's not always about you, Francine. - Dad, what you're doing

228. - violates every tenet of a rational and just society. - High five!

229. Steve, I do have powers after all.

230. I can shoot heat rays out of my fingertips.

231. Look.

232. Hey, is that my dad's sweatshirt?

233. Yeah. I'm having a fat day. What are you doing?

234. I'm running away. It's the only way I can escape those psycho Rangers.

235. Oh! Oh, take me with you.

236. Maybe my special power is keeping you from getting molested at the bus station.

237. Maybe.

238. Until you give me the exact details of your next attack,

239. I'm depriving you of sleep.

240. - It's 2:00 in the afternoon. - No sleep!

241. That's right. Starting to get uncomfortable, isn't it?

242. Sure would be nice to feel the gentle embrace

243. of the sandman's spell as he warbles his sweet, lilting lullaby.

244. - Hayley! The neighborhood! What are you two doing here?

245. We demand you release the Memaris.

246. They're human beings and they have rights, like everyone else.

247. Why can't you say that to your father?

248. I will, this Thanksgiving— but only if he's drunk and the Cowboys win.

249. Come on, everyone! Let's go get the Memaris!

250. Hey, hey! Stop!

251. Hey, you can't go in there. That's my house. Ooh, got boob.

252. Hey, come on. No trespassing.

253. Damn it, Roger. Stopping for that burrito cost us 20 minutes.

254. Can't run away on an empty stomach.

255. Mmm! Taco King. I think I'm having a "delish-igasm."

256. Hey, there's Smith. Get him!

257. - Aah! - We're dead.

258. I think I just figured out what my special power is.

259. - Really? - Yes. Yes, I'm sure of it.

260. - Steve, do you believe in magic? - I do, I do.

261. Then close your eyes and hold on.

262. We're gonna fly.

263. Sorry.

264. You don't know if you don't try.

265. I'm gonna— I'm gonna lie down.

266. Hey, hey! Back off. Back off.

267. - Set 'em free. - Don't you all get it?

268. Since they've been locked up, there hasn't been one single attack.

269. Oh, no! The power went out.

270. Oh, my God! They've struck again.

271. The Memaris? They've been here the whole time.

272. That can only mean they're part of a larger terrorist cell.

273. - What are you doing? - The Memaris have clearly recruited others.

274. They're like vampires— or the gays.

275. Could you get any more insane?

276. Quick, plug your butt with this clove of garlic.

277. You can't imprison the entire neighborhood.

278. Until I figure out who's behind this, no one's going anywhere.

279. Let 'em go, Stan.

280. It's been a fun ride, but it's over.

281. Come on, Francine. Not this old routine.

282. You know, you pull a gun. I pretend I'm gonna do what you want.

283. Then I pull out my gun.

284. We do our little John Woo standoff.

285. Inevitably, your arm gets tired.

286. Then you drop your gun, and we have nobody-got-shot sex.

287. Hey. Hey!

288. Where— Where you going? Francine!

289. Well, why'd you pull a gun on me if you didn't want to have sex?

290. All right. You found me. Just tell me what I have to do.

291. Are you kidding? Smith, you take things too far.

292. I mean, the whole electrical grid?

293. My PlayStation runs on electricity.

294. - And my Sonicare. - And Todd's Sonicare.

295. You're out, Smith.

296. No. No, no, Steve. Don't come near this bush.

297. Pal, that burrito did a number on my alien stomach.

298. - Let's just go home. - Too bad.

299. I guess I'll never find my special power.

300. I'll check the transformer, Mikey.

301. - You're buying the beers after this, right? - Can't do it, pal.

302. I gotta work on my toast for your wedding.

303. Jim, look— behind this bush.

304. There's a turd made of solid gold.

305. And it's studded with diamonds and gems.

306. We're rich, Jim, rich.

307. All of our dreams are gonna come true.

308. Oh, hey, Harlan.

309. Geez, we got a mess here today, huh, Jim?

310. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty bad. I think it's the transformer.

311. - Hey, where's Mike? - Oh. He didn't show up for work today.

312. - That ain't like him. - Yeah, well, you know Mike.

313. Look, Harlan, I gotta get going.

314. - Yeah, okay. Say hey to Abby. - Yeah, yeah, sure thing.

315. Hey, hey. Hold on a second.

316. - Is there a problem? - I'll say there's a problem.

317. You forgot your wrench.

318. Mondays, right? Thanks.

319. Jim and Abby can't answer the phone right now.

320. Please leave a message.

321. Abby, pick up. Something incredible's happened.

322. - It'll change our lives. We can fin— Hello?

323. Who— Who is this? Where's Abby?

324. You idiot. I told you not to answer.

325. - Sorry. I forgot. - What?

326. Who is this?

327. Why? Why? Why?

328. Now, which one of you is the terrorist mastermind?

329. You're crazy.

330. Oh, yeah? Well, you're wet,

331. but at least in five minutes I'll still be crazy.

332. Mom, easy on the tequila.

333. How many shooters are you gonna do?

334. All I wanted was to reconnect with the neighbors,

335. and then your paranoid father locked 'em up in the backyard.

336. It's like the world's worst pool party out there.

337. Or the world's best theme party.

338. A terrorist detainment camp theme party?

339. You don't think we'd really lock up our neighbors, do you?

340. Chicken satay, you filthy evildoers?

341. We've got strawberry margaritas.

342. Who wants to get bombed?

343. This is brilliant— or should I say "shock and awesome"?

344. Shock and— Sorry, girls, he's taken.

345. Francine, what the hell are you doing?

346. No fraternizing with the enemy.

347. - Can this guy sell "sadistic nut job" or what? - All right, that does it.

348. Mr. Smith, I was down at the transformer that caused the blackout,

349. - and found this. - A clue! And there's a name tag.

350. Now all we have to do is find this Stan Smith and—

351. Wait a minute. That's impossible.

352. Unless— Unless somehow they brainwashed me to do their bidding.

353. Good God! I'm the terrorist.

354. Have you completely lost your mind?

355. It's the only logical explanation.

356. Hayley, grab the jumper cables.

357. I have a prisoner to interrogate.

358. A patriot and a terrorist are going in there,

359. and only one of us is coming out.

360. - So authentic. I love a man that can commit. - Not this again.

361. I told you. As soon as my father dies, I will wear the ring.

362. Stop! I'm not a terrorist. I can't even grow a beard.

363. Please, I have a family.

364. - To new friends. - You guys, I have a confession to make.

365. This wasn't a theme party.

366. I was just covering for Stan.

367. Sweetheart, we know. We've encountered people like him before.

368. - You have? - Oh, sure.

369. But I gotta say, even though Stan's a suspicious, xenophobic vigilante,

370. he's still 100 times better than our last neighbors.

371. They were black.

372. Stan, there's a party going on. Can't you take a break?

373. - Not until I crack. - Stan, hold it.

374. I know I've been giving you a hard time for scaring away all my friends,

375. but I've gotta say, this is the greatest party I've ever thrown,

376. and I have you to thank for it.

377. Aw, Francine, I know it's not easy being married to a C.I.A. man.

378. It's got its advantages, but let's make a deal.

379. From now on, you protect the world from terrorists,

380. and I'll protect the neighborhood from you.

381. Here's our hosts. Smile, you two.

382. No, no. I look terrible.

383. That's my guy.

384. Bye. Have a great time.