1. Aren't you nervous to find out
what you got
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2. on the history midterm?
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3. I'm nervous about the time
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4. that Cap'n Crunch box
turned me on.
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5. I know
I aced the midterm.
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6. I got a smiley.
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7. Ah, there she is.
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8. Gather 'round, boys.
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9. You're about to see
my 4.0 face.
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10. Are... you... okay...
Steve?
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11. You... don't... look...
so... hot.
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12. Why are you talking
like that?
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13. Too... much... Zoloft.
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14. And I'm still
so... sad.
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15. M-Mr. Herschel, I-I think
there's been a mistake.
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16. You put an "F" here
on my test
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17. but forgot to add
"antastic job, A-plus."
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18. I was just as surprised
as you, Steve.
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19. You're usually
a big old nerd.
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20. Wait! I see
what happened here.
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21. I was one question off
on the Scantron sheet.
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22. See? Here, I-I'll just take it
again real quick and we —
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23. Look, this vape pen isn't gonna
smoke itself behind the gym.
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24. The "F" stands.
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25. F, F, F, F, F, F.
F! F!
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26. Aaaaaaah!
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27. Aaaaaaaaah!
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28. Don't worry.
Barry know what to do.
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29. Now... it's just
gonna take me longer...
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30. to finish
freaking out.
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31. Aah!
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32. Buck up, champ. One bad grade's
not the end of the world.
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33. Look at your mother.
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34. She's got a great life,
lives in a nice, big house
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35. and she had
nothing but D's.
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36. Yeah.
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37. Double D's.
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38. The point is, it was
just one little mistake.
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39. You're gonna be fine.
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40. You know what?
Maybe you're right.
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41. Of course I'm right.
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42. Now, bring that sweet
cinnamon noodle on over here.
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43. It's tousling time.
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44. Come here,
you little rascal!
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45. You're a little rascal
is what you are.
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46. Get him!
Get that little rascal!
You scamp!
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47. You're just
a rascally little scamp!
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48. You little scamp, you.
Oh, he's a scamp
is what he is.
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49. Ow!
Now get on out of here,
you little bastard.
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50. Our greatest fear
has come true.
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51. Candyman has escaped
the world of the movies
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52. and entered ours?
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53. Okay. My greatest fear
has come true.
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54. Grades are all
Steve has.
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55. If he loses that,
what'll he have left?
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56. His dead-on
Paul Hogan impression?
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57. Sure, it kills now,
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58. but how much longer
is that gonna be relevant?
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59. But you said
it was no big deal.
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60. I didn't want him
to panic.
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61. But what if it wasn't
just a mistake?
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62. What if his grades
start slipping?
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63. What kind of life
will he have?
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64. The world
will eat him alive.
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65. Like Candyman?
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66. Yes, Francine,
like Candyman.
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67. Steve's always been
a soft, sensitive little guy.
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68. And I've always been there
to protect him.
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69. And now I have to
protect my boy once more —
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70. from failure.
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71. And I need to protect
my girls —
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72. from gravity.
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73. Hey, bud.
Just popping in.
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74. Oh, how's
the schoolwork going?
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75. Pretty good.
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76. I'm working on my new
history assignment —
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77. a video presentation
on Charles Lindbergh.
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78. "Bachelor," Season 1.
Sick!
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79. The first aviator to fly nonstop
from New York to Paris?
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80. Oh! Oh, Charles Lindbergh.
Sick!
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81. And Roger's helping me out
with it.
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82. Gotcha!
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83. Hey, Rog, can you hit "record"
on the camera?
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84. I, Charles Augustus Lindbergh,
born February 4, 1902,
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85. have just flown my plane,
The Spirit of St. Louis,
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86. across the Atlantic Ocean.
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87. It's a good thing Gene Siskel
was murdered by pirates,
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88. 'cause this
would've killed him.
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89. I better step in.
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90. Now, look, this is great, son,
but if you really want that "A,"
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91. you're gonna have to go
above and beyond —
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92. really dazzle
your teacher.
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93. How do I do that?
Well, I could
help you out.
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94. That'd be great!
Roger, do you care if —
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95. I never cared,
Steve.
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96. Ah, this is
a really hard one.
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97. Yep, nope.
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98. Gotcha!
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99. Men's Ed Hardy "Death or Glory"
low-rise sneakers.
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100. Color — dragon smoke black.
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101. Size — 14.
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102. Now, all I need...
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103. is a body.
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104. Klaus!
What the hell?
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105. I'm doing a thing
in here!
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106. It's my room!
W-Why are you even —
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107. Get out!
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108. My room, Klaus!
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109. Out!
Aaaaah!
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110. Fine!
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111. What better way
to go above and beyond
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112. than to get some sweet
aerial footage for your movie?
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113. So I borrowed a drone
from work.
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114. Dad,
that's a Predator drone!
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115. Eh, a drone's
a drone.
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116. I just got in there
with my Leatherman,
yanked out the missiles,
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117. tossed them in the "everything"
drawer in the kitchen.
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118. No big whoop.
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119. Now, where's
that car wash coupon?
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120. Let's start with the scene
where I find out
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121. my baby's been kidnapped
and —
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122. Actually, I made
one other super-cool change
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123. I know
you're gonna love.
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124. Steve, meet the new star
of your history project —
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125. The Rock...'s
friend Vin Diesel —
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126. still,
technically, a star.
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127. Uh, we're not
actually friends.
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128. Although, we do own a couple
Long John Silver's together.
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129. But that's
not important.
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130. What's important is,
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131. this deathly ill child
has a dream,
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132. and I'm gonna make it
come true.
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133. You told him I'm
a Make-A-Wish kid, didn't you?
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134. Am I that far off,
Steve?
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135. What are we doing
at the C.I.A.?
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136. Oh, just taking advantage
of our...
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137. top-secret soundstage!
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138. This is where we filmed
the moon landing,
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139. the JFK assassination,
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140. and Def Jam's
"How to be a Player."
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141. Wow! This is gonna be the most
epic history project ever!
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142. You bet your ass
it is.
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143. Now, wait here. I'm gonna go
check on the script changes.
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144. Script changes?
What are —
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145. Apple box flyin' in!
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146. Dino, let's put sticks
on a half apple
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147. and fly in a couple of C-47s
so I can jelly-roll
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148. those Bob Denvers,
and put 'em on an apple box.
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149. Hey!
You can't touch that!
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150. And you are?
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151. Chuck Deptula,
union gaffer,
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152. but everybody calls me
"Cheese."
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153. You seem to be
a lot more helpful now
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154. than you were
the other day.
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155. Now the International
Brotherhood of Film Grips,
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156. Session Drummers and Pool Table
Repairmen has my back, scab.
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157. That's lunch!
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158. Hmm. This still doesn't feel
like a guaranteed "A."
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159. Atlantic Ocean?
Pacific's bigger.
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160. Steve's teacher will find that
much more impressive.
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161. I think maybe he'll care
a little bit more
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162. about
historical accuracy.
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163. Uh, If I didn't care
about historical accuracy,
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164. would I have stolen
the actual Spirit of St. Louis
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165. from the Smithsonian?
What?
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166. The toughest part was convincing
the guard I came in with it.
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167. Look, to really impress
your teacher,
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168. we gotta make this thing
big, exciting, fun.
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169. Wait —
the Lindbergh baby died?
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170. Huge downer, Steve.
Yeah, but —
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171. What if Lindbergh had a buddy,
like a-a dog or a monkey,
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172. and the buddy dies
instead?
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173. I'm not sure —
You know what?
Now I like the buddy.
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174. Maybe Lindbergh
brings him back to life
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175. with the power
of RC Cola!
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176. We gotta work in some product
placement to cover costs.
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177. Dad! This is
my project, remember?
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178. Hey, you're still in charge.
We're just here to help you.
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179. "We" being
DreamSmith Entertainment,
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180. the production company
I started
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181. with the money
from your college fund.
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182. I'll tell you
one thing, Suit —
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183. we've got non-union sound,
so the movie's gonna
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184. sound like shit!
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185. Owww!
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186. Oooh!
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187. That's lunch!
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188. Refresh.
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189. Refresh.
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190. Refresh.
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191. Hayley!
The shoes are here!
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192. The shoes, the shoes,
the shoes, the shoes!
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193. But... it said...
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194. H-How?
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195. You know, there is
a 416 South Cherry Street.
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196. Maybe it got delivered there
by mistake.
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197. As a matter of fact, I once
ordered a Garfield welcome mat
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198. that never showed up,
either.
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199. Oh, I do so hope
to someday hear the story
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200. of the missing
welcome mat.
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201. Hey, I'm trying
to help you out.
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202. Then shut up and drive!
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203. We shut down
the set of "Captain Ron"
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204. for six months
back in '91.
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205. Touchstone retaliated
with full fury.
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206. Friendships were destroyed,
marriages fell apart,
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207. but, by God, we got three chairs
for every five men working.
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208. Dino, you'd be standing
right now.
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209. Um, Cheese, we're trying
to film a scene.
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210. Well, we're trying
to eat lunch,
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211. which we're allowed to do
anywhere on set.
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212. Read the '85 agreement!
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213. That's lunch!
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214. Come on, Dino.
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215. Hey, man, this is
for a sick kid.
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216. Couldn't you be
a little flexible?
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217. Oh, so you think
you can crap all over us
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218. below-the-line people just
because you're the big star?
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219. How dare you!
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220. I'm gonna eat lunch
in your trailer, in your bed!
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221. Please join me!
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222. I know I sound angry,
but please come!
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223. My God,
you're ripped.
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224. Okay, everybody,
back to 1.
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225. And...
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226. Are you worried this scene
is playing too heavy?
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227. No, I'm not.
And...
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228. You sure you don't want
to bring in the monkey?
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229. Yes, positive!
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230. And... action!
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231. You fly the plane
or the plane —
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232. Cut!
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233. Let's just bring the monkey in,
see what he does.
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234. Dad! That's enough!
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235. This is my project!
Oh, really?
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236. Because it sure feels like
I'm the one
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237. who's been putting in
all the effort.
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238. I got you the soundstage,
I got you Vin Diesel,
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239. I got you a monkey
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240. who studied under the monkey
from "Dunston Checks In"!
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241. I didn't ask you to!
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242. But you need me to,
if you want to get that "A."
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243. I'm sorry, son, but you're
no Charles Lindbergh.
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244. You can't fly solo on this.
You're just not capable.
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245. Nope, sorry. I haven't gotten
any packages lately.
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246. Oh, well.
It was a long shot.
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247. Take 'er easy.
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248. Hey, I'll take 'er
any way I can get 'er.
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249. That lying son of a bitch
has my shoes.
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250. Klaus,
that's ridiculous.
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251. Okay, we have no reason
to —
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252. Son of a bitch!
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253. What the —
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254. Oh, you want to get nuts?
Let's get nuts!
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255. I brought
so many bullets!
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256. Ladies, gentlemen,
Steve's teacher, welcome.
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257. You're not gonna believe
your eyes when you see
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258. what Steve Smith was capable
of doing all by himself.
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259. Roll it!
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260. DreamSmith.
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261. Your head's in the clouds, boy.
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262. That's no place
for a man.
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263. But what if it was, Pop?
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264. What if it was?
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265. I shall call my invention
"the aeroplane,"
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266. and I owe it all
to RC Cola.
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267. Charles!
Our baby's been kidnapped!
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268. I'll handle this.
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269. Hey, Boss,
ain't you worried
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270. Lindbergh will
come for his bambino?
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271. He is just one man.
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272. One pilot
with two fight attendants.
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273. Aaaaaaaah!
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274. Guards!
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275. Aaaaaaaa—
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276. Ugh!
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277. You got a bad altitude.
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278. Good work, Gus.
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279. But next time,
you fly.
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280. And now let's meet
the genius behind
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281. this A-plus-caliber project —
Steve Smith.
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282. What?
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283. De plane!
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284. Can't do things on my own,
can I?
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285. Well, look who's flying solo
now, Dad!
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286. At least
Mom's still proud of me.
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287. Candyman's got me!
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288. You gotta say my name
three times to free me!
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289. Now, just because you have
no idea how to fly a plane,
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290. there's no need to panic.
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291. You can make it to Paris.
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292. You'll just have to learn
on the fly.
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293. Good one, Steve.
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294. You've been cleared to laugh.
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295. Well, I should probably figure
out what all these gauges are.
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296. Air speed.
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297. I'd say that one's
self-explanatory.
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298. This one...
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299. Gonna come back to this one.
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300. It's so foggy up here.
I hope I'm flying high enough.
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301. Aaaaah!
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302. Geez, buddy!
Got enough arms?
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303. Pull up! Pull up!
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304. Looks like
white men can jump.
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305. Looks like
white men can jump.
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306. What?
It's a famous novel,
Steve.
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307. Now, give me
that flight stick.
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308. Never!
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309. Douglas, Douglas,
Douglas.
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310. All I want
are my shoes.
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311. I don't have
your shoes.
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312. Please, you — you can have
my shoes. Here.
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313. Do I look like the kind of fish
who would wear red shoes
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314. when he someday has
the body of a man?
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315. House is clean. Only place
I haven't looked is this closet.
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316. Thing's locked tight.
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317. Open the closet,
please, Doug.
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318. I-I lost the key.
Listen —
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319. Open the closet!
I didn't take
your stuff!
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320. Then why is my Garfield mat
on your doorstep?
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321. It's Garfield! It's Amazon's
top-selling welcome mat!
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322. Oh... my... God!
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323. There are no shoes
in there.
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324. We've inconvenienced
an innocent man and his guest.
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325. You know, I'm not 100% sure
I ordered that welcome mat.
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326. I might've just put it
on my wish list.
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327. It's Jeff. He found your shoes
in the bush out front.
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328. The bush! Of course!
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329. Let go!
I'm doing this — on my own!
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330. Why... won't you...
just let me help you?
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331. Because
you're not helping me!
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332. When you... won't let me do
anything for myself,
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333. you're actually
standing in my way!
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334. I am?
Yes! That's the —
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335. Shh! I'm remembering
something.
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336. A lesson, from a powerful film
I once saw.
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337. Don't leave me, Pop!
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338. I can't do this
without you by my side.
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339. Oh, stop
your foolishness, now.
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340. Why, if you never let
a baby bird out of the nest,
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341. it can't never
take flight.
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342. Take flight,
Charles... Lindbergh...
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343. my son.
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344. Don't you see, Dad?
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345. If you never let me try,
sure, I can't ever fail.
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346. But you can't
ever succeed, either.
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347. Oh, I'm sorry, son.
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348. Well, I'm sorry, too.
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349. It was pretty stupid of me
taking off with this plane
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350. and thinking I could make it
across the ocean all by myself.
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351. Oh, my God!
The Eiffel Tower!
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352. I did make it
to Paris!
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353. Wanna bring us in
for a landing, mate?
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354. Heh! Still got it!
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355. But, actually, son,
I realize now
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356. that this is something I have to
let you do on your own.
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357. What?
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358. No, wait! I don't know
how to land a plane!
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359. White men can jump.
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360. I believe in yoooooooou!
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361. Merci!
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362. All right, son,
you can do this.
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363. Just mind those crosswinds.
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364. Good, good.
Easy on the throttle.
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365. Pull back on the yoke.
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366. That's it, now.
Steady.
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367. Steady.
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368. My boy!
What have I done?
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369. Ow! My bottom!
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370. Steve! You're alive!
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371. Can you believe I actually
made it all the way to Paris?
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372. Well... no,
because you didn't.
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373. Looks like you must've gotten
turned around in the clouds,
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374. 'cause that's that new
amusement park they opened
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375. just outside
Langley Falls.
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376. Tell you what, son.
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377. From now on, I'm gonna let you
do things for yourself.
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378. But if you ever do want my help,
all you have to do is ask.
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379. Maybe you can help me
wash my flight suit.
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380. I really did a number on this
thing baling out of that plane.
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381. A number 5.
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382. That's two number 2s
and a number 1.
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383. That sounds like the kind
of help a mother might give.
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384. Have a great night!
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385. — Captions by VITAC —
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