1. Sir, what's with
all the hubbub?Copy !req
2. Smith, why are you wearing
the same basic bitch tieCopy !req
3. you wear every day?Copy !req
4. Now I'm gonna have to cut you
from the fashion show.Copy !req
5. What fashion show?Copy !req
6. The one we have every year
after Father's Day.Copy !req
7. This year's theme — "flex,
flaunt, shimmy, and shake,Copy !req
8. all the way down
to the Langley Lake.Copy !req
9. Y-You know, I didn't actually
think of a theme.Copy !req
10. Here comes Duper in what's sure
to be the dad look of summer —Copy !req
11. a big dog T-shirt, jorts,
and a socks/Crocs combo!Copy !req
12. But — But that would mean
yesterday was Father's Day.Copy !req
13. This is impossible!Copy !req
14. My family forgot
to celebrate... me.Copy !req
15. Well, here's something
no one will ever forget.Copy !req
16. One day, the world's gonna see
Dick's got just as much to offerCopy !req
17. on the inside
as he does on the backside.Copy !req
18. Yeah!Copy !req
19. Aah!Copy !req
20. So then I told him that I hadn't
talked to my brother in yearsCopy !req
21. but my relationship
with my dry cleaner
has never been stronger.Copy !req
22. Oh, my —Copy !req
23. Home runs today,
Roger!Copy !req
24. Dad, did you hear
Roger's story?Copy !req
25. Yeah, it was...
kind of funny.Copy !req
26. O... kay.Copy !req
27. So, um,
how was work?Copy !req
28. Oh! Did they figure out
if those twin agents you hateCopy !req
29. died
in that botched mission?Copy !req
30. No. Rich and Mitch
are still just missing.Copy !req
31. Dad,
what's going on?Copy !req
32. You forgot
Father's Day!
What?Copy !req
33. Bullock banished me
to the "lame dad room."Copy !req
34. Do you know
where that is?Copy !req
35. It's the old haunted bathroom
that nobody uses anymoreCopy !req
36. because ghosts are coming out
of the goddamn toiletCopy !req
37. and going up butts!Copy !req
38. Father,
I've failed you!Copy !req
39. I'm so sorry!
Oh, my God.Copy !req
40. I've been so obsessed
with corduroy,Copy !req
41. my whole weekend
just slipped away.Copy !req
42. Hey. What if we pretend
tomorrow is Father's Day?Copy !req
43. I don't know.Copy !req
44. Come on!
You name it.Copy !req
45. We'll give you
your perfect day.Copy !req
46. Huh. I guess
that could work.Copy !req
47. Smith.Copy !req
48. Well,
that's unfortunate.Copy !req
49. Thanks for calling.Copy !req
50. This day is...Copy !req
51. turning around!Copy !req
52. The twins are dead!Copy !req
53. Mm!
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!Copy !req
54. Good morning!Copy !req
55. Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.Copy !req
56. That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutesCopy !req
57. until the next Father's Day —Copy !req
58. and 22 seconds
until I take the pillsCopy !req
59. that aren't helping
my crippling OCD.Copy !req
60. OCD, OCD, OCD.Copy !req
61. Now here's an oldie
but a groovy!Copy !req
62. "For my meal, I would like
a Thanksgiving dinner."Copy !req
63. "For my entertainment —
anything."Copy !req
64. Yes!Copy !req
65. "For my present —
a homemade birdhouse.Copy !req
66. Thinkin' about becoming
a bird guy."Copy !req
67. Happy Father's Day!Copy !req
68. Birdhouse is
coming along great.Copy !req
69. 'Course, the city inspector's
riding me about zoning laws,Copy !req
70. and my electrician's putting me
through the whole rigmarole.Copy !req
71. Steve, you've made peace with
never being with a woman, right?Copy !req
72. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
73. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
74. Just trying to find lyrics
to rhyme with "My pops is tops."Copy !req
75. Well, I admire
a good karate chop.Copy !req
76. Find something there.Copy !req
77. Thanks for giving us
a second chance, honey.Copy !req
78. Mwah!Copy !req
79. Leave it.
It's your day.Copy !req
80. A groundbreaking
open-concept birdhouse.Copy !req
81. You can see everything
from the stove.Copy !req
82. Not bad, son.Copy !req
83. I'd say this house is...Copy !req
84. for the birds.Copy !req
85. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
86. We've got turkey, stuffing,
mashed potatoes.Copy !req
87. Mmm! You know
exactly what I want.Copy !req
88. But you don't seem to know that
I want it from Boston Market.Copy !req
89. Still, looks great.Copy !req
90. Good job, honey!Copy !req
91. Kind of reminds me
of early Dylan —Copy !req
92. like, really early,Copy !req
93. before he learned
how to play the guitar.Copy !req
94. But I loved it.Copy !req
95. What a great day,
Stan.Copy !req
96. For you, not me.Copy !req
97. That guy on the bus
got in my face again,Copy !req
98. and I just finally
lost it —Copy !req
99. Yeah,
it was a nice day.Copy !req
100. Guess the family proved
they really do care.Copy !req
101. Are you kidding me?Copy !req
102. They forgot
Father's Day!Copy !req
103. And they covered for itCopy !req
104. with a B-minus celebration
on a Tuesday?Copy !req
105. "Oh, hey,
sorry for feeding you dogshit.Copy !req
106. Allow us to wash it down
with some RC Cola."Copy !req
107. Roger! Why do you
always have to beCopy !req
108. the little devil
on people's shoulder?Copy !req
109. W-W-Whoa. Hang on, Klaus.
Roger may have a point.Copy !req
110. Stan?Copy !req
111. Well, I... guess
it could have been better.Copy !req
112. Little devil?
More like Little Debbie.Copy !req
113. 'Cause I give
some sweeeeet advice!Copy !req
114. Good morning!Copy !req
115. Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.Copy !req
116. That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutesCopy !req
117. until the next
Father's Day —Copy !req
118. and 22 seconds
until I take the pills...Copy !req
119. "For my present —
a homemade birdhouse.Copy !req
120. Please — not open-concept."Copy !req
121. Happy Father's Day!Copy !req
122. Just getting ready
to "lei" this pig downCopy !req
123. for your luau dinner.Copy !req
124. So "hula"
at your girl!Copy !req
125. Leave it. It's —Copy !req
126. It's my day.Copy !req
127. Uh, why is everyone acting
like it's yesterday?Copy !req
128. Because I erased
their memoriesCopy !req
129. so they could relive
the previous day,Copy !req
130. giving them another shot
at a decent Father's Day.Copy !req
131. You're "Groundhog Day'ing"
the fam?Copy !req
132. Wait. Why didn't you erase
my memory?Copy !req
133. Come on, bud.
You're not even on my radar.Copy !req
134. So, the family
has no ideaCopy !req
135. they're reliving
yesterday's Father's Day?Copy !req
136. Nope. Their minds
have been whipped clean.Copy !req
137. Wh-Whipped clean.
Whipped — Whipped clea—Copy !req
138. Why —
Why can't I say this?Copy !req
139. I got it. Their minds
have been whipped cream.Copy !req
140. I feel like we're building
to the pointCopy !req
141. where you tell us
how you did this.Copy !req
142. Are we?
We are.Copy !req
143. The C.I.A. was having —Copy !req
144. Wait, wait. Stan,
how long is this story?Copy !req
145. 'Cause I just want to know —
do I sit, do I stand?Copy !req
146. Medium-long?Copy !req
147. Uh, lean. Yeah, I'll lean.
Continue.Copy !req
148. The C.I.A. was —Copy !req
149. No, gonna sit.
Gonna sit.Copy !req
150. You seemed real unsure
about your answer.Copy !req
151. Well, don't let me
interrupt you.Copy !req
152. The C.I.A.
was having a yard sale.Copy !req
153. Just gonna lie down
to play it safe.Copy !req
154. The C.I.A. had to have
a yard saleCopy !req
155. for the same reason
anyone has a yard sale —Copy !req
156. to make
an ass-load of money.Copy !req
157. "Got my dream part
in the school play."Copy !req
158. Signed,
"The sweetest boy in Oz."Copy !req
159. This is not how I want
to remember my son.Copy !req
160. You don't have to.
Just use this.Copy !req
161. It's a memory
neutralizer.Copy !req
162. Flashes a light that
wipes the last 24 hours
from your memory.Copy !req
163. I use it on myself every time
I watch "The Nutty Professor."Copy !req
164. That way, I get as hard
as I did the first time.Copy !req
165. So, after an okay
but not perfect Father's Day,Copy !req
166. I decided to use it
on the family.Copy !req
167. Wait.
What happened to Roger?Copy !req
168. He went
on a vape run, bro.Copy !req
169. The house was dangerously low
on Vanilla Vacation.Copy !req
170. But, Stan, what you're doing
feels very unfair to the family.Copy !req
171. What's unfair is
they forgot Father's Day.Copy !req
172. This whole thing is
supposed to be a makeup,Copy !req
173. and they haven't quite
made up.Copy !req
174. But I just know
they're gonna nail it today.Copy !req
175. Almost done
with the birdhouse.Copy !req
176. Hey, the skylight
you wanted —Copy !req
177. it can be just painted on,
right?Copy !req
178. Good morning!Copy !req
179. Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.Copy !req
180. Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days...Copy !req
181. Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya...Copy !req
182. Good morning!Copy !req
183. OCD, OCD, OCD.Copy !req
184. Steve!
Where have you been?Copy !req
185. You've missed
five weeks of school!Copy !req
186. I don't know what's going on
here, Mr. Smith,Copy !req
187. but I'm gonna —Copy !req
188. Why am I...Copy !req
189. Once more.Copy !req
190. Again.Copy !req
191. And two more
for good luck.Copy !req
192. And one
for your mother.Copy !req
193. We need to talk, bro.Copy !req
194. Not now, Klaus.Copy !req
195. I have to top off
the Pert PlusCopy !req
196. and reset
all the radio recordingsCopy !req
197. so they have a chance
to make tomorrow perfect.Copy !req
198. Dude,
you've lost it.Copy !req
199. Tomorrow. I'm sure tomorrow will
be the perfect Father's Day.Copy !req
200. It is my privilege
to welcome our nomineeCopy !req
201. for president
of the United States —Copy !req
202. Senator Vincent Thacker!Copy !req
203. Thank you. And with the help
of my running mate,Copy !req
204. Senator Bill Sturges,Copy !req
205. we can get this country
back on track.Copy !req
206. Just got off the phone
with The Post.Copy !req
207. Tomorrow,
they're running an exposé.Copy !req
208. Some back-alley deal
you cut with Tetradual?Copy !req
209. Are you hearing me?
It's over!Copy !req
210. What...Copy !req
211. What is that?Copy !req
212. Mine!Copy !req
213. Oh!Copy !req
214. Now it's mine.Copy !req
215. What is it,
my child?Copy !req
216. It has returned.Copy !req
217. To destroy it,Copy !req
218. we must return it
to its source.Copy !req
219. Shh!
Come with me.Copy !req
220. There's no time.Copy !req
221. Damn, Steve!Copy !req
222. You wake up camera-ready,
lucky dog.Copy !req
223. Takes me hours to shake
that "just woke up" look.Copy !req
224. No time for what?Copy !req
225. And your morning voice
sounds clear as a sparrow!Copy !req
226. Me?
Forget about it!Copy !req
227. No phone calls
before noon.Copy !req
228. Klaus, I have to get started
on my dad's present.Copy !req
229. Damn!
And no morning breath?Copy !req
230. Do you sleep
with mints in your mouth?Copy !req
231. Now, come on!
You're wasting valuable time!Copy !req
232. Where'd all this
come from?Copy !req
233. Check
the artist's signature.Copy !req
234. "Steve Smith"?Copy !req
235. I don't remember
making this.Copy !req
236. But that's my heart-dotted "I"
and eyeballs on the S'sCopy !req
237. to make them look like
scary snakes.Copy !req
238. Here it is again!Copy !req
239. Every night,
your dad resets your memory,Copy !req
240. so every morning,
you wake up thinkingCopy !req
241. it's Father's Day again —
and again!Copy !req
242. Steve, you missed the story
of the boy in the volcano.Copy !req
243. It riveted the nation
for months!Copy !req
244. In the end,
it turned out to beCopy !req
245. just a goat
in a Starter jacket.Copy !req
246. Dad's not gonna get away
with this.Copy !req
247. Yeah! Dad's lost it.Copy !req
248. Klaus,
he's not your dad.Copy !req
249. Well, well, well.Copy !req
250. Dad!
No.Copy !req
251. Looks like you got it
all figured out.Copy !req
252. W-W-Why are you doing this
to us?Copy !req
253. W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Why?
Why? Why? Why?Copy !req
254. Because you guys can't give me
one decent day,Copy !req
255. no matter how many chances
I give you!Copy !req
256. Chances? What are you
talking about?Copy !req
257. Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie...Copy !req
258. Dad's been tricking us
into reliving Father's DayCopy !req
259. every day
for six months!Copy !req
260. You brainwashed us?Copy !req
261. Oh, of course!
Make it about you!Copy !req
262. Well, since you won't
remember this anyway,Copy !req
263. I'll get everything
out of my systemCopy !req
264. so I can wake up tomorrow
without being so cheesed off!Copy !req
265. Go ahead, Steve —
cry!Copy !req
266. It'd be weirder
if you didn't!Copy !req
267. Go ahead, Hayley —
gasp.Copy !req
268. It'd be weirder
if you didn't!Copy !req
269. Stan, enough!Copy !req
270. Since when is anything
enough for you?Copy !req
271. For the last 20 years,
you just sit aroundCopy !req
272. and wait for me
to bring home money.Copy !req
273. "I need rugs.
I need bananas."Copy !req
274. Stan, stop before you say
something you'll regret.Copy !req
275. Oh, I haven't
even started.Copy !req
276. You can stop feeling sorry
for yourselves,Copy !req
277. because
this never happened.Copy !req
278. Starting... now.Copy !req
279. Now!Copy !req
280. Now, now, now, now, now, now,
now, now, now, now, now!Copy !req
281. Aw, Stan.Copy !req
282. When I was grabbing a snack
last night,Copy !req
283. I "accidentally" knocked
that thing off the counterCopy !req
284. 'cause it wasn't
on my radar.Copy !req
285. I —
Uh, uh...Copy !req
286. And I wasn't really
getting a snack.Copy !req
287. That mission was purely
to be a rascal.Copy !req
288. Although, I did reward myself
with a sleeve of saltinesCopy !req
289. and four packs
of Gushers.Copy !req
290. Happy Father's Day.Copy !req
291. Hey, guys.Copy !req
292. Uh, I know
you didn't thinkCopy !req
293. my jokes earlier
were very funny.Copy !req
294. Jokes? What you said
was unforgivable!Copy !req
295. You can't
dissect comedy!Copy !req
296. Anyway, I know you're feeling
a little down,Copy !req
297. so I made you one
of my famous apology cakes.Copy !req
298. Just pretend
SpongeBob is me.Copy !req
299. And instead of having amazing
adventures under the sea,Copy !req
300. he's sorry
he insulted his family.Copy !req
301. You don't understand.
We're never getting past this.Copy !req
302. Okay. I knew there was a small
chance the cake wouldn't work.Copy !req
303. But maybe you'll find
this filling more persuasive.Copy !req
304. You're all coming with me
to the C.I.A.Copy !req
305. We have another memory eraser,
and I'm gonna use itCopy !req
306. to make you forget
all the things I said —Copy !req
307. and the so-called
"gun incident."Copy !req
308. There's another
memory eraser?Copy !req
309. That might be the only way
we can be a family again.Copy !req
310. I think you can
put down the gun, Dad.Copy !req
311. We all want to forget.Copy !req
312. Ow!Copy !req
313. Bad news — We sold
the other memory neutralizer.Copy !req
314. No!Copy !req
315. Wait.
What's in the box, then?Copy !req
316. Lil' Angelo!Copy !req
317. Oh, yeah, you missed
the C.I.A. mascot elections.Copy !req
318. Gretchen the Guinea Pig
ran a tight race,Copy !req
319. but I think
we're still a ways offCopy !req
320. from electing
a female mascot.Copy !req
321. Dick, do you know who bought
the other neutralizer?Copy !req
322. Yeah. Got the receipt
right here.Copy !req
323. Some C.I.A. collector
in Ohio.Copy !req
324. Ohio?Copy !req
325. B-But we only have 24 hours
from when you said those thingsCopy !req
326. to get there!Copy !req
327. Yeah, if we don't
make it by morning,Copy !req
328. we're gonna remember
all the crap you said forever!Copy !req
329. All the jokes.Copy !req
330. Look, I know I hurt you guys,
but let me make it up to you.Copy !req
331. Just because this is a day
that you're all going to forgetCopy !req
332. doesn't mean it can't be
a day to remember.Copy !req
333. And then forget.Copy !req
334. Can you just shut up
and focus on driving?Copy !req
335. Yep.
Driving's pretty cool.Copy !req
336. You, uh, want to give it
a try, son?Copy !req
337. What?
Yeah, you'll be
driving soon.Copy !req
338. Stan,
leave him alone.Copy !req
339. What? I'm doing
something nice — father/son.Copy !req
340. Here,
take the wheel.Copy !req
341. Aah!Copy !req
342. It's just like
one of your video games —Copy !req
343. the ultimate
video game.Copy !req
344. You only have one life —
well, technically, four lives.Copy !req
345. Whoop! Guardrail.Copy !req
346. Please tell me
you can fix this.Copy !req
347. What makes you think
I can fix —Copy !req
348. Oh. 'Cause of the tow truck
and the coveralls.Copy !req
349. No, no, no,
I'm not a mechanic.Copy !req
350. I'm just a strange man.Copy !req
351. Guys,
we got one!Copy !req
352. Everybody, thumbs out
and look sexy.Copy !req
353. We don't know who this is
or what they're into.Copy !req
354. The mouse can never resist
the cheese.Copy !req
355. Hey.Copy !req
356. Hey.Copy !req
357. Hey.
What?Copy !req
358. What's your record
for Tylenol PMs?Copy !req
359. What do you mean?Copy !req
360. What's the most
you've ever taken?Copy !req
361. I've done seven.Copy !req
362. Stan, I think it's your turn
to ride shotgun!Copy !req
363. Nonsense. My queen
always rides in front.Copy !req
364. Hey.Copy !req
365. Eight.Copy !req
366. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
367. We're good.Copy !req
368. The place we're going
is just right up here.Copy !req
369. One more... right here.Copy !req
370. 27.Copy !req
371. Let me just say thanks
to our friend.Copy !req
372. He's dead.
We have 10 minutes.Copy !req
373. Don't get many visitors,
but I'm always happyCopy !req
374. to show off
my C.I.A. memorabilia.Copy !req
375. Whoa!
Hayley, check it out!Copy !req
376. The super crack we introduced
in the '80s.Copy !req
377. Look! Steve!
The real Jason Bourne!Copy !req
378. How do I know
how to do this?Copy !req
379. Dad! We only have
four minutes!Copy !req
380. I believe this is
what you came for.Copy !req
381. Now let's talk about
a fair price.Copy !req
382. Okay, we only got
30 seconds.Copy !req
383. I'll just zap you,
and we can forgetCopy !req
384. about the worst day
of our lives.Copy !req
385. You know, I — I meant
what I wrote on the cake.Copy !req
386. "Bad dad... sad."Copy !req
387. Aah! That's hot!Copy !req
388. Steve, that was
our last chance.Copy !req
389. I can't believe
I'm saying this,Copy !req
390. but we shouldn't
forget this day.Copy !req
391. Right!Copy !req
392. Because we made
all these great new memoriesCopy !req
393. today — as a family!Copy !req
394. And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.Copy !req
395. Are you kidding me?
Today was a disaster!Copy !req
396. Well...
but, then... I'm screwed.Copy !req
397. You're gonna hate me
forever.Copy !req
398. Yeah, we want you to feel
that way 'cause you've beenCopy !req
399. working your ass off all day
to make things right.Copy !req
400. It turns out the only thing
that makes you a good dadCopy !req
401. is being a guilty dad.Copy !req
402. Yeah.Copy !req
403. And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.Copy !req
404. No!Copy !req
405. That's just
a character flaw!Copy !req
406. Noticing my flaws
and my strengths.Copy !req
407. Is... that the true meaning
of Father's Day?Copy !req
408. Dad, I'll explain it all in
the back of that guy's pickup.Copy !req
409. Or better yet —
why don't you drive?Copy !req
410. You know what, guys?Copy !req
411. This is easily one
of my favorite Father's Days.Copy !req
412. And Christmases.Copy !req
413. Did you guys know
it was Christmas?Copy !req
414. Bye-bye! See you soon!Copy !req