1. Stan, don't!
It's me — Principal Lewis!
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2. Where's my family?
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3. I don't know where they are.
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4. I swear!
To the old Gods and the new!
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5. Fire's a bad idea.
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6. Relax, Stan.
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7. There's two of us,
and it's nice and warm.
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8. Your clothes
are soaked through.
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9. You need to dry 'em out.
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10. Ooh, sexy.
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11. If you weren't here with
your family, where were you?
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12. You know,
when the blast happened?
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13. On a mission.
South America.
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14. That's a long walk.
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15. You run into the Two Hundred
out there?
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16. I hear they're brutal.
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17. No, but I've seen
what they've done.
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18. Cool. Hey, you, uh, seems
like a lot of people
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19. are doing that thing
where they eat other people.
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20. I mean, isn't that wild?
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21. But also maybe
understandable, hmm?
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22. You, uh, done any of that?
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23. Nope.
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24. Me neither!
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25. You passed my test!
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26. Now I feel
like I can relax.
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27. Look out!
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28. I thought I saw
a murderous road bandit,
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29. but it was just a moth.
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30. So tell me, what's your
feeling about tattoos?
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31. They should be covered
in the workplace.
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32. Come on, Stan!
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33. And what's with
that huge-ass hummingbird?
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34. It's a falcon.
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35. It was the end
of fishing season.
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36. And the sun.
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37. I can remember how warm
it felt on my face.
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38. Aah!
My face is so hot!
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39. Why don't you wear
a hat?
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40. Great idea, Hayley.
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41. Maybe don't look directly
at the sun.
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42. Oh, you'd just love for me
to miss another eclipse.
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43. Why did you want to come
on this trip so bad again?
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44. Yeah, don't you have,
like, a moral objection
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45. to fishing or something?
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46. Oh, my God, can I stop myself?
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47. This is nice.
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48. You know,
I asked to come along
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49. because, well, it's actually
pretty rare that we —
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50. Talk quieter.
You're scaring the fish.
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51. - it's just rare that —
- Quieter.
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52. - it's so rare —
- Too quiet!
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53. It sounds like you're
conspiring against the fish.
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54. You're making them
paranoid!
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55. I was saying we never spend
any time together!
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56. Well, they're
definitely gone now!
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57. First you eat all my drivin'
pickles on the way up,
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58. and now this!
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59. Wasn't there some sort of
protest you could have gone to
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60. instead of ruining
my fishing trip?
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61. A protest?
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62. How 'bout I do a protest
right here?
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63. Live free!
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64. Whoa.
Well, you live free!
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65. This one, though,
definitely lives free.
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66. Considered overbudget.
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67. Still, the LQL insists
that Langley Falls'
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68. very own Hadron Collider
will meet its opening deadline.
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69. Shut up, Klaus!
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70. All she wanted was to spend
a little time together.
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71. I was a fool.
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72. So you got the tattoo...
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73. As penance.
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74. And a reminder of what
I'd try to do differently,
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75. if I'm ever lucky enough
to see my family again.
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76. Fire's dying down.
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77. All this talk of fish.
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78. I never touched the stuff
before the blast,
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79. but now
I'd kill for one.
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80. Man, I'd eat those worms
if they were here right now.
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81. It's amazing the things
you'll eat...
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82. If you get hungry enough.
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83. I'm not a killer, Stan.
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84. I just want a slice.
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85. Hyah!
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86. Did I get ya?
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87. Ya gotta say something
if I gotcha!
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88. Them's
apocalypse rules!
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89. Stan, I thought
that was you!
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90. Aah! Quiet, Greg!
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91. I was looking out
my basement window...
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92. - Shh.
- ... and I said to myself,
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93. 'cause that's who
I talk to these days.
You have to stop talking.
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94. I said, "I think
that's Stan Smith."
Please shut up!
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95. I didn't think
I'd ever see you again
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96. after your family left.
- Be quiet!
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97. You have a lot of tattoos.
Wait, what? Do you know
where my family went?
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98. Oh, yeah. But we shouldn't
talk out in the open
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99. because Principal Lewis
has been prowling around,
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100. and you would not believe
what he's been getting up to.
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101. All I wanted was a taste!
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102. We're cool now!
So be cool!
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103. I can't look.
Did he get me?
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104. Last I saw Francine
and the kids,
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105. they were leaving
for the New Haven.
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106. - in Connecticut?
- No.
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107. The New Haven is a safe zone
a hundred miles west of here.
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108. If they were
in New Haven, Connecticut,
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109. they'd be dead already...
Of boredom!
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110. J.K.
I've never been there.
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111. I just think it's more
important now than ever
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112. to try to laugh.
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113. What's this tattoo here?
Looks like a doily.
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114. I don't want
to talk about it.
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115. Okay.
I'm feeling pretty weak.
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116. Maybe I'll just
sleep a little.
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117. It was
a particularly warm June.
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118. I can still recall the light,
sweet smell of Jasmine
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119. that lingered
in the summer air.
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120. It's a thousand degrees!
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121. I'm sweating
like a razorback hog!
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122. It's really cool that you want
to do this with me, Dad.
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123. Why can't I stretch again?
- It's no good.
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124. You gotta keep those muscles
tight and ready.
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125. Don't let the tendons
get all loosey-goosey
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126. like some spaghetti man.
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127. Sons and fathers,
on your marks!
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128. All right, Steve,
as you know, first prize
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129. is a refurbished Hamilton
Beach panini press.
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130. With a little ciabatta
and a little gabagool,
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131. I'll be mangia-ing my way
straight to mama-mia-ville.
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132. Speed it up!
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133. Aah! I think
I sprained my ankle!
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134. It's just a twist!
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135. There was a rusty nail
in one of the tires,
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136. and now my jaw feels
like it's locking up!
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137. It's just tetanus!
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138. I'm really having
a hard time
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139. putting weight
on this foot!
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140. I don't think
I can go on!
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141. And I don't think
I can go another day
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142. eating sandwiches
that make my mouth cold!
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143. Now, pick it up!
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144. Aah!
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145. Oh, God, look at him
flat on the ground,
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146. like
a pressed hot sandwich.
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147. But why
is the tattoo a doily?
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148. His leg was broken.
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149. He spent the whole summer
laid up on the couch,
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150. learning to knit.
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151. He made doilies,
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152. each one finer
and lacier than the last.
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153. It was a nightmare.
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154. If I'd just carried him,
like I'm carrying you now...
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155. Oh, cute, a rabbit.
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156. Oh, cute, a dinner.
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157. Damn. I thought
it'd be somethin' bigger.
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158. Or someone.
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159. Run for your lives!
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160. Is — is it the —
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161. It's the Two Hundred!
They're coming!
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162. - Go! Go!
- Get out of here!
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163. - Get out of here!
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164. Stan, before
the Two Hundred kills us,
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165. I want to tell you
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166. that you were often
an inconsiderate neighbor.
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167. It's the Two Hundred!
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168. Clear out y'all!
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169. You'll run faster
without your stu-uff.
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170. Roger!
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171. We have to get moving!
The Two Hundred are coming.
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172. Oh, no,
there's no Two Hundred.
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173. Made 'em up.
I just walk around,
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174. do a creepy "Waah waah,
the Two Hundred are coming!"
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175. They scatter.
I get the stuff.
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176. It's mostly tin plates,
a lot of spoons.
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177. I have so many spoons now,
I'm like the Little Mermaid.
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178. Oh, my God, Stan!
How are you?
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179. And what's this
on the back?
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180. - It's a Greg.
- Oh, right.
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181. Greg, you remember my...
Uncle Roger?
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182. Stan, no.
That's all done now.
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183. We live
in a changed world.
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184. There's no need
for characters.
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185. I'm just a man in rags.
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186. Whose name is Clifton.
- Hi, Clifton!
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187. We're heading to the New Haven
to find Francine and the kids.
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188. Ooh!
I haven't seen them in ages!
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189. Not since the blast.
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190. I'm coming with — wait,
is Steve gonna be there?
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191. I pray to God that he is.
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192. Guh.
I still owe him 60 bucks.
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193. But, like, he's not gonna care
about that anymore, right?
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194. And maybe he's dead!
I am coming with you.
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195. I mean, sure, I could pay
Steve back in spoons,
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196. but nowadays one spoon
is worth more than $60.
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197. How would he
even give me change?
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198. What, like
a tiny, little spoon?
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199. Oh, my God,
that sounds amazing!
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200. Let's rescue the tiny spoon
and the boy who has it!
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201. Let's hop on!
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202. These tracks go
right to the New Haven.
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203. It's on fire.
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204. I guess
we can hang around here
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205. and see if those
wild dogs are friendly.
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206. We did this
in the wrong order.
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207. Goodbye, Greg!
No hard feelings!
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208. - Damn it.
- Don't beat yourself up.
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209. He was a liability
slowing us down.
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210. Ah! You did it!
Somehow.
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211. We're so... glad.
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212. Boy, that blast.
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213. I don't remember
any of it.
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214. Was it a blast?
Like the party kind?
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215. I-I just think
it's more important now
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216. than ever to try to laugh.
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217. Hey, me too.
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218. Hey!
I'm haunted by memories.
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219. So, Stan, we haven't talked
about all these tattoos.
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220. Could I ask...
that we don't?
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221. Why the garbage can tattoo
you ask?
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222. - No.
- It was a Thursday morning.
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223. Trash day.
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224. We were having a very hot
August, which was unusual.
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225. Unusual? August —
August is — what?
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226. August is always hot.
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227. Francine was sleeping
like an angel.
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228. Stan, did you remember
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229. to put the garbage cans out
this time?
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230. I'm in the shower!
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231. And no-o-o!
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232. Come back!
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233. This is two weeks' worth
of trash!
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234. My husband keeps forgetting
to take it to the curb!
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235. Francine Smith.
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236. I just want
to let you know
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237. that my husband watches you
from our upstairs window.
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238. Why would anyone go out
in this heat?
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239. If Francine is there
at the end of all this,
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240. I'll make it up to her.
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241. She'll never carry trash again,
unless I forget for real.
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242. Gimme food
or the cripple gets it.
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243. We just left Greg!
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244. I could tell that guy
was coming for the spoons,
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245. and I've worked too hard
and too long to —
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246. Aw, crap, I left my spoons
on the train!
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247. Greg's dead.
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248. As he should be.
He was the weakest —
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249. Hey, guys!
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250. I managed to wrestle away
his knife and kill him.
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251. This isn't my blood.
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252. Could I finish
what I was saying, please?
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253. Weakest link.
Greg is the weakest link.
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254. I got your spoons.
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255. No.
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256. What happened?
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257. It was a massacre.
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258. No survivors.
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259. My family was here.
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260. Is there any chance
they made it out alive?
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261. What did I just say?
Ugh.
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262. Oh, no, Stan.
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263. This looks
like Francine's locket.
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264. I'm... too late.
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265. But I'm right on time!
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266. Aaah!
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267. You big, black bitch!
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268. I bet you all think
I'm some kind of a monster,
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269. just 'cause
I'm a cannibal now.
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270. That's what these
delicious jerks are sayin'.
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271. I think you're great.
I'm nuts about ya.
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272. Stan, snap out of it!
We gotta get out of here.
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273. This guy is gonna eat us.
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274. See ya,
wouldn't wanna be ya.
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275. What?
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276. It was just
a normal breakfast...
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277. Can't we just enjoy our ride
in the cage cart?
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278. except
I was about to leave
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279. on a perilous mission
to South America
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280. that I knew I might not
come back from.
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281. I wanted to tell them
I loved them, but I couldn't.
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282. 'Cause I never do.
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283. They would've known
something was wrong,
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284. and they
would've worried.
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285. In that moment, I wanted to say
how much they meant to me.
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286. I wanted to say
how much I regretted
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287. letting things
get to this point,
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288. where them hearing "I love you"
from me would be weird.
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289. I wanted to say all those
things, but instead I said...
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290. See ya,
wouldn't wanna be ya!
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291. Those are the last words
I ever said to them.
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292. I wasn't with them
when the blast hit.
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293. I wasn't with them
when they needed me.
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294. And now they're dead.
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295. And I want to be dead,
too!
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296. Shoot me, Lewis!
I'm beggin' ya!
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297. Stan,
you're stressin' me out!
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298. Lucky for you,
I'm a stress eater.
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299. What the hell?
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300. - Aah!
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301. Never bring a gun
to a bird fight.
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302. Baby girl!
You're alive!
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303. And you continued
your interest in falcons!
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304. I wouldn't come
any closer.
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305. Oh, I appreciate the advice,
but —
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306. - Net!
- Aah!
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307. Steve! Little Steve!
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308. That took me three months
to knit!
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309. My kids are alive!
And capable!
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310. And the cart's moving!
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311. So strong,
I can't get a tear goin'.
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312. It's too heavy, Dad!
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313. We can't stop it!
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314. It's okay, kids.
You can let go.
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315. He doesn't speak
for the cart!
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316. Take care of each other.
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317. Francine!
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318. Thanks to you always hiding
in the bathroom on trash day,
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319. I have a powerful set of
the muscles I'm using now.
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320. In a minute, Stan.
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321. I thought you were dead
when I found the locket.
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322. You never take it off.
It's too precious to you.
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323. I traded it
for flip-flops.
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324. There were communal showers
at New Haven.
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325. Which is why
we left New Haven.
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326. Couldn't do it.
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327. Now that we're reunited,
I want to say something
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328. I couldn't bring myself
to say before.
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329. I would like to see ya.
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330. And I would want
to be ya.
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331. Is that
what you wanted to say?
Don't rush me.
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332. There'll be plenty of time
for that later.
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333. You all think you're safe?
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334. You think I'm alone?
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335. I love you guys so much.
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336. It's time we feast.
Take them.
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337. It's the
T-T-T-Two Hundred!
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338. Nonsense!
I made the Two Hundred up.
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339. They don't exist.
Whaaa?
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340. Two hundred Rogers?
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341. Two hundred mes?
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342. I don't underst—
oh, right. I remember.
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343. Welcome, Mrs. Houlihan's
sixth grade class,
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344. to our brand-new
Hadron Collider.
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345. This is where we shoot
sub-atomic particles
Copy !req
346. at fantastic speeds.
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347. And you kids are in luck,
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348. because today we're shooting
our first beam.
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349. First beam!
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350. Now, kids,
if you look through here,
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351. you can actually see
inside the collider tunnel.
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352. - Can we go in there?
- Good Lord, no!
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353. That would be wildly dangerous.
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354. But he's in there.
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355. Sorry!
I dropped my Ray-Bans.
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356. What's that sound?
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357. The beam!
It's starting!
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358. Ouch!
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359. Something really, really small
just hit me.
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360. Ouch! And again!
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361. Ow.
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362. Ow.
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363. Ow.
- Dear God.
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364. - Ow!
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365. Ow! Ow!
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366. Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow,
ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
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367. I feel like
I'm gonna fart.
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368. Come on, man.
Just a little wind.
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369. Yeah!
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370. Oh! They were hitting me
with bosons.
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371. Yeah, yeah,
you can't do that.
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372. The particle impact
caused my personas to split
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373. and form separate
physical entities,
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374. which released
a cataclysmic energy burst.
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375. I apologize, everyone.
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376. I'm the one
who ended the world.
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377. Saved these babies,
though.
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378. Aw, damn it,
there's a crack in them.
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379. - Jeannie Gold!
- Tom Yabo!
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380. - Genevieve Vavance!
- Braff Zacklin!
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381. - Roy Rogers McFreely!
- Kevin Bacon!
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382. - Horse Renoir!
- Chex LeMeneux!
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383. - Clive Trotter!
- Miles Raymond!
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384. - The Phantom of the Telethon!
- Cleshawn Montegue!
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385. - Captain Francois Dubonet!
- Roland Chang!
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386. General Juanito Pequeño!
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387. Ricky Spanish!
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388. - Max Jets!
- Jenny Fromdabloc!
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389. - Frankie Carconni!
- Ruby Zeldastein!
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390. - Uncle Roger!
- Dr. Penguin!
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391. - Jojo Quinoa!
- Michael Corbin!
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392. - The Legman!
- Dan Ansome Handsome!
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393. - Arbuckle T. Boone!
- Lazlo Morphine!
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394. - Shalonda Dykes!
- Dom Fikowski!
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395. - Dimitri Garabedian!
- Morris Buttermaker!
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396. - Sidney Huffman!
- Reaganomics Lamborghini!
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397. - Martin Sugar!
- Burt Jarvis!
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398. - Cuss Mustard!
- Frank Slade!
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399. - Abigail Lemonparty!
- Twill Ongenbone!
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400. And who could forget Clip Clop!
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401. Are they...
on our side?
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402. Kevi-i-i-i-i-n Ramage!
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403. Aah!
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404. They are not
on our side.
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405. I think we all knew
it would end this way.
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406. Did somebody order the fish?
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407. Whooooo!
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408. And that's the end
of the story.
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409. Grandpa, how come
you never talk about
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410. what happened
in the battle?
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411. 'Cause grandpa didn't
have a great view
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412. from his hiding spot.
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413. But that's not
what's important.
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414. What's important
is that every day,
Copy !req
415. we take a moment and tell
the people we care about...
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416. "Don't let Roger
in a Hadron Collider!"
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417. I need to be watched
very closely.
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418. Bye!
Have a beautiful time!
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