1. Stan, don't! It's me... Principal Lewis!
Copy !req
2. Where's my family?
Copy !req
3. I don't know where they are.
Copy !req
4. I swear! To the old Gods and the new!
Copy !req
5. Fire's a bad idea.
Copy !req
6. Relax, Stan.
Copy !req
7. There's two of us, and
it's nice and warm.
Copy !req
8. Your clothes are soaked through.
Copy !req
9. You need to dry 'em out.
Copy !req
10. Ooh, sexy.
Copy !req
11. If you weren't here with your
family, where were you?
Copy !req
12. You know, when the blast happened?
Copy !req
13. On a mission. South America.
Copy !req
14. That's a long walk.
Copy !req
15. You run into the Two Hundred out there?
Copy !req
16. I hear they're brutal.
Copy !req
17. No, but I've seen what they've done.
Copy !req
18. Cool. Hey, you, uh,
seems like a lot of people
Copy !req
19. are doing that thing where
they eat other people.
Copy !req
20. I mean, isn't that wild?
Copy !req
21. But also maybe understandable, hmm?
Copy !req
22. You, uh, done any of that?
Copy !req
23. Nope.
Copy !req
24. Me neither!
Copy !req
25. You passed my test!
Copy !req
26. Now I feel like I can relax.
Copy !req
27. Look out!
Copy !req
28. I thought I saw a murderous road bandit,
Copy !req
29. but it was just a moth.
Copy !req
30. So tell me, what's
your feeling about tattoos?
Copy !req
31. They should be covered in the workplace.
Copy !req
32. Come on, Stan!
Copy !req
33. And what's with that
huge-ass hummingbird?
Copy !req
34. It's a falcon.
Copy !req
35. It was the end of fishing season.
Copy !req
36. And the sun.
Copy !req
37. I can remember how
warm it felt on my face.
Copy !req
38. Aah! My face is so hot!
Copy !req
39. Why don't you wear a hat?
Copy !req
40. Great idea, Hayley.
Copy !req
41. Maybe don't look directly at the sun.
Copy !req
42. Oh, you'd just love for
me to miss another eclipse.
Copy !req
43. Why did you want to come
on this trip so bad again?
Copy !req
44. Yeah, don't you have,
like, a moral objection
Copy !req
45. to fishing or something?
Copy !req
46. Oh, my God, can I stop myself?
Copy !req
47. This is nice.
Copy !req
48. You know, I asked to come along
Copy !req
49. because, well, it's
actually pretty rare that we...
Copy !req
50. Talk quieter. You're scaring the fish.
Copy !req
51. - It's just rare that...
- Quieter.
Copy !req
52. - It's so rare...
- Too quiet!
Copy !req
53. It sounds like you're conspiring
against the fish.
Copy !req
54. You're making them paranoid!
Copy !req
55. I was saying we never
spend any time together!
Copy !req
56. Well, they're definitely gone now!
Copy !req
57. First you eat all my
drivin' pickles on the way up,
Copy !req
58. and now this!
Copy !req
59. Wasn't there some sort of protest
you could have gone to
Copy !req
60. instead of ruining my fishing trip?
Copy !req
61. A protest?
Copy !req
62. How 'bout I do a protest right here?
Copy !req
63. Live free!
Copy !req
64. Whoa. Well, you live free!
Copy !req
65. This one, though, definitely lives free.
Copy !req
66. Considered overbudget.
Copy !req
67. Still, the LQL insists that Langley Falls'
Copy !req
68. very own Hadron Collider will
meet its opening deadline.
Copy !req
69. Shut up, Klaus!
Copy !req
70. All she wanted was to
spend a little time together.
Copy !req
71. I was a fool.
Copy !req
72. So you got the tattoo...
Copy !req
73. As penance.
Copy !req
74. And a reminder of what I'd
try to do differently,
Copy !req
75. if I'm ever lucky
enough to see my family again.
Copy !req
76. Fire's dying down.
Copy !req
77. All this talk of fish.
Copy !req
78. I never touched the
stuff before the blast,
Copy !req
79. but now I'd kill for one.
Copy !req
80. Man, I'd eat those worms if
they were here right now.
Copy !req
81. It's amazing the things you'll eat...
Copy !req
82. If you get hungry enough.
Copy !req
83. I'm not a killer, Stan.
Copy !req
84. I just want a slice.
Copy !req
85. Hyah!
Copy !req
86. Did I get ya?
Copy !req
87. Ya gotta say something if I gotcha!
Copy !req
88. Them's apocalypse rules!
Copy !req
89. Stan, I thought that was you!
Copy !req
90. Aah! Quiet, Greg!
Copy !req
91. I was looking out my basement window...
Copy !req
92. - Shh.
- and I said to myself,
Copy !req
93. - 'cause that's who I talk to these days.
- You have to stop talking.
Copy !req
94. - I said, "I think that's Stan Smith."
- Please shut up!
Copy !req
95. I didn't think I'd ever see you again
Copy !req
96. - after your family left.
- Be quiet!
Copy !req
97. You have a lot of tattoos.
Copy !req
98. Wait, what? Do you
know where my family went?
Copy !req
99. Oh, yeah. But we
shouldn't talk out in the open
Copy !req
100. because Principal Lewis
has been prowling around,
Copy !req
101. and you would not believe what
he's been getting up to.
Copy !req
102. All I wanted was a taste!
Copy !req
103. We're cool now! So be cool!
Copy !req
104. I can't look. Did he get me?
Copy !req
105. Last I saw Francine and the kids,
Copy !req
106. they were leaving for the New Haven.
Copy !req
107. - In Connecticut?
- No.
Copy !req
108. The New Haven is a safe zone
a hundred miles west of here.
Copy !req
109. If they were in New Haven, Connecticut,
Copy !req
110. they'd be dead already... Of boredom!
Copy !req
111. J.K. I've never been there.
Copy !req
112. I just think it's more
important now than ever
Copy !req
113. to try to laugh.
Copy !req
114. What's this tattoo
here? Looks like a doily.
Copy !req
115. I don't want to talk about it.
Copy !req
116. Okay. I'm feeling pretty weak.
Copy !req
117. Maybe I'll just sleep a little.
Copy !req
118. It was a particularly warm June.
Copy !req
119. I can still recall the
light, sweet smell of Jasmine
Copy !req
120. that lingered in the summer air.
Copy !req
121. It's a thousand degrees!
Copy !req
122. I'm sweating like a razorback hog!
Copy !req
123. It's really cool that you
want to do this with me, Dad.
Copy !req
124. - Why can't I stretch again?
- It's no good.
Copy !req
125. You gotta keep those
muscles tight and ready.
Copy !req
126. Don't let the tendons
get all loosey-goosey
Copy !req
127. like some spaghetti man.
Copy !req
128. Sons and fathers, on your marks!
Copy !req
129. All right, Steve, as
you know, first prize
Copy !req
130. is a refurbished
Hamilton Beach panini press.
Copy !req
131. With a little
ciabatta and a little gabagool,
Copy !req
132. I'll be mangia-ing my way
straight to mama-mia-ville.
Copy !req
133. Speed it up!
Copy !req
134. Aah! I think I sprained my ankle!
Copy !req
135. It's just a twist!
Copy !req
136. There was a rusty
nail in one of the tires,
Copy !req
137. and now my jaw feels
like it's locking up!
Copy !req
138. It's just tetanus!
Copy !req
139. I'm really having a hard time
Copy !req
140. putting weight on this foot!
Copy !req
141. I don't think I can go on!
Copy !req
142. And I don't think I can go another day
Copy !req
143. eating sandwiches that
make my mouth cold!
Copy !req
144. Now, pick it up!
Copy !req
145. Aah!
Copy !req
146. Oh, God, look at him flat on the ground,
Copy !req
147. like a pressed hot sandwich.
Copy !req
148. But why is the tattoo a doily?
Copy !req
149. His leg was broken.
Copy !req
150. He spent the whole
summer laid up on the couch,
Copy !req
151. learning to knit.
Copy !req
152. He made doilies,
Copy !req
153. each one finer and lacier than the last.
Copy !req
154. It was a nightmare.
Copy !req
155. If I'd just carried him,
like I'm carrying you now...
Copy !req
156. Oh, cute, a rabbit.
Copy !req
157. Oh, cute, a dinner.
Copy !req
158. Damn. I thought it'd
be somethin' bigger.
Copy !req
159. Or someone.
Copy !req
160. Run for your lives!
Copy !req
161. Is... is it the...
Copy !req
162. It's the Two Hundred! They're coming!
Copy !req
163. - Go! Go!
- Get out of here!
Copy !req
164. Get out of here!
Copy !req
165. Stan, before the Two Hundred kills us,
Copy !req
166. I want to tell you
Copy !req
167. that you were often an
inconsiderate neighbor.
Copy !req
168. It's the Two Hundred!
Copy !req
169. Clear out you'll!
Copy !req
170. You'll run faster without your stu-uff.
Copy !req
171. Roger!
Copy !req
172. We have to get moving! The
Two Hundred are coming.
Copy !req
173. Oh, no, there's no Two Hundred.
Copy !req
174. Made 'em up. I just walk around,
Copy !req
175. do a creepy "Waah waah, the
Two Hundred are coming!"
Copy !req
176. They scatter. I get the stuff.
Copy !req
177. It's mostly tin plates, a lot of spoons.
Copy !req
178. I have so many spoons now,
I'm like the Little Mermaid.
Copy !req
179. Oh, my God, Stan! How are you?
Copy !req
180. And what's this on the back?
Copy !req
181. - It's a Greg.
- Oh, right.
Copy !req
182. Greg, you remember my... Uncle Roger?
Copy !req
183. Stan, no. That's all done now.
Copy !req
184. We live in a changed world.
Copy !req
185. There's no need for characters.
Copy !req
186. I'm just a man in rags.
Copy !req
187. - Whose name is Clifton.
- Hi, Clifton!
Copy !req
188. We're heading to the New
Haven to find Francine and the kids.
Copy !req
189. Ooh! I haven't seen them in ages!
Copy !req
190. Not since the blast.
Copy !req
191. I'm coming with...
wait, is Steve gonna be there?
Copy !req
192. I pray to God that he is.
Copy !req
193. Guh. I still owe him 60 bucks.
Copy !req
194. But, like, he's not gonna
care about that anymore, right?
Copy !req
195. And maybe he's dead!
I am coming with you.
Copy !req
196. I mean, sure, I could
pay Steve back in spoons,
Copy !req
197. but nowadays one spoon
is worth more than $60.
Copy !req
198. How would he even give me change?
Copy !req
199. What, like a tiny, little spoon?
Copy !req
200. Oh, my God, that sounds amazing!
Copy !req
201. Let's rescue the tiny
spoon and the boy who has it!
Copy !req
202. Let's hop on!
Copy !req
203. These tracks go right to the New Haven.
Copy !req
204. It's on fire.
Copy !req
205. I guess we can hang around here
Copy !req
206. and see if those wild dogs are friendly.
Copy !req
207. We did this in the wrong order.
Copy !req
208. Goodbye, Greg! No
hard feelings!
Copy !req
209. - Damn it.
- Don't beat yourself up.
Copy !req
210. He was a liability slowing us down.
Copy !req
211. Ah! You did it! Somehow.
Copy !req
212. We're so... glad.
Copy !req
213. Boy, that blast.
Copy !req
214. I don't remember any of it.
Copy !req
215. Was it a blast? Like the party kind?
Copy !req
216. I-I just think it's more important now
Copy !req
217. than ever to try to laugh.
Copy !req
218. Hey, me too.
Copy !req
219. Hey! I'm haunted by memories.
Copy !req
220. So, Stan, we haven't
talked about all these tattoos.
Copy !req
221. Could I ask... that we don't?
Copy !req
222. Why the garbage can tattoo you ask?
Copy !req
223. - No.
- It was a Thursday morning.
Copy !req
224. Trash day.
Copy !req
225. We were having a very hot
August, which was unusual.
Copy !req
226. Unusual? August... August is... what?
Copy !req
227. August is always hot.
Copy !req
228. Francine was sleeping like an angel.
Copy !req
229. Stan, did you remember
Copy !req
230. to put the garbage cans out this time?
Copy !req
231. I'm in the shower!
Copy !req
232. And no-o-o!
Copy !req
233. Come back!
Copy !req
234. This is two weeks' worth of trash!
Copy !req
235. My husband keeps
forgetting to take it to the curb!
Copy !req
236. Francine Smith.
Copy !req
237. I just want to let you know
Copy !req
238. that my husband watches
you from our upstairs window.
Copy !req
239. Why would anyone go out in this heat?
Copy !req
240. If Francine is there at
the end of all this,
Copy !req
241. I'll make it up to her.
Copy !req
242. She'll never carry trash
again, unless I forget for real.
Copy !req
243. Gimme food or the cripple gets it.
Copy !req
244. We just left Greg!
Copy !req
245. I could tell that guy was
coming for the spoons,
Copy !req
246. and I've worked too
hard and too long to...
Copy !req
247. Aw, crap, I left my spoons on the train!
Copy !req
248. Greg's dead.
Copy !req
249. As he should be. He was the weakest...
Copy !req
250. Hey, guys!
Copy !req
251. I managed to wrestle
away his knife and kill him.
Copy !req
252. This isn't my blood.
Copy !req
253. Could I finish what
I was saying, please?
Copy !req
254. Weakest link. Greg is the weakest link.
Copy !req
255. I got your spoons.
Copy !req
256. No.
Copy !req
257. What happened?
Copy !req
258. It was a massacre.
Copy !req
259. No survivors.
Copy !req
260. My family was here.
Copy !req
261. Is there any chance they
made it out alive?
Copy !req
262. What did I just say? Ugh.
Copy !req
263. Oh, no, Stan.
Copy !req
264. This looks like Francine's locket.
Copy !req
265. I'm... too late.
Copy !req
266. But I'm right on time!
Copy !req
267. Aaah!
Copy !req
268. You big, black bitch!
Copy !req
269. I bet you all think I'm
some kind of a monster,
Copy !req
270. just 'cause I'm a cannibal now.
Copy !req
271. That's what these delicious
jerks are saying.
Copy !req
272. I think you're great. I'm nuts about ya.
Copy !req
273. Stan, snap out of it! We
gotta get out of here.
Copy !req
274. This guy is gonna eat us.
Copy !req
275. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
Copy !req
276. What?
Copy !req
277. It was just a normal breakfast...
Copy !req
278. Can't we just enjoy our
ride in the cage cart?
Copy !req
279. Except I was about to leave
Copy !req
280. on a perilous mission to South America
Copy !req
281. that I knew I might not come back from.
Copy !req
282. I wanted to tell them I
loved them, but I couldn't.
Copy !req
283. 'Cause I never do.
Copy !req
284. They would've known something was wrong,
Copy !req
285. and they would've worried.
Copy !req
286. In that moment, I wanted to
say how much they meant to me.
Copy !req
287. I wanted to say how much I regretted
Copy !req
288. letting things get to this point,
Copy !req
289. where them hearing "I love
you" from me would be weird.
Copy !req
290. I wanted to say all those
things, but instead I said...
Copy !req
291. See
ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!
Copy !req
292. Those are the last
words I ever said to them.
Copy !req
293. I wasn't with them when the blast hit.
Copy !req
294. I wasn't with them when they needed me.
Copy !req
295. And now they're dead.
Copy !req
296. And I want to be dead, too!
Copy !req
297. Shoot me, Lewis! I'm beggin' ya!
Copy !req
298. Stan, you're stressin' me out!
Copy !req
299. Lucky for you, I'm a stress eater.
Copy !req
300. What the hell?
Copy !req
301. Aah!
Copy !req
302. Never bring a gun to a bird fight.
Copy !req
303. Baby girl! You're alive!
Copy !req
304. And you continued your
interest in falcons!
Copy !req
305. I wouldn't come any closer.
Copy !req
306. Oh, I appreciate the advice, but...
Copy !req
307. - Net!
- Aah!
Copy !req
308. Steve! Little Steve!
Copy !req
309. That took me three months to knit!
Copy !req
310. My kids are alive! And capable!
Copy !req
311. And the cart's moving!
Copy !req
312. So strong, I
can't get a tear going.
Copy !req
313. It's too heavy, Dad!
Copy !req
314. We can't stop it!
Copy !req
315. It's okay, kids. You can let go.
Copy !req
316. He doesn't speak for the cart!
Copy !req
317. Take care of each other.
Copy !req
318. Francine!
Copy !req
319. Thanks to you always hiding
in the bathroom on trash day,
Copy !req
320. I have a powerful set of
the muscles I'm using now.
Copy !req
321. In a minute, Stan.
Copy !req
322. I thought you were dead
when I found the locket.
Copy !req
323. You never take it off. It's
too precious to you.
Copy !req
324. I traded it for flip-flops.
Copy !req
325. There were communal
showers at New Haven.
Copy !req
326. Which is why we left New Haven.
Copy !req
327. Couldn't do it.
Copy !req
328. Now that we're
reunited, I want to say something
Copy !req
329. I couldn't bring myself to say before.
Copy !req
330. I would like to see ya.
Copy !req
331. And I would want to be ya.
Copy !req
332. - Is that what you wanted to say?
- Don't rush me.
Copy !req
333. There'll be plenty of
time for that later.
Copy !req
334. You all think you're safe?
Copy !req
335. You think I'm alone?
Copy !req
336. I love you guys so much.
Copy !req
337. It's time we feast. Take them.
Copy !req
338. It's the T-T-T-Two Hundred!
Copy !req
339. Nonsense! I made the Two Hundred up.
Copy !req
340. They don't exist. Whaaa?
Copy !req
341. Two hundred Rogers?
Copy !req
342. Two hundred mes?
Copy !req
343. I don't underst...
oh, right. I remember.
Copy !req
344. Welcome, Mrs.
Houlihan's sixth grade class,
Copy !req
345. to our brand-new Hadron Collider.
Copy !req
346. This is where we
shoot sub-atomic particles
Copy !req
347. at fantastic speeds.
Copy !req
348. And you kids are in luck,
Copy !req
349. because today we're
shooting our first beam.
Copy !req
350. First beam!
Copy !req
351. Now, kids, if you look through here,
Copy !req
352. you can actually see inside
the collider tunnel.
Copy !req
353. - Can we go in there?
- Good Lord, no!
Copy !req
354. That would be wildly dangerous.
Copy !req
355. But he's in there.
Copy !req
356. Sorry! I dropped my Ray-Bans.
Copy !req
357. What's that sound?
Copy !req
358. The beam! It's starting!
Copy !req
359. Ouch!
Copy !req
360. Something really,
really small just hit me.
Copy !req
361. Ouch! And again!
Copy !req
362. Ow.
Copy !req
363. Ow.
Copy !req
364. Ow.
- Dear God.
Copy !req
365. Ow!
Copy !req
366. Ow! Ow!
Copy !req
367. Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow, ow-ow-ow-ow!
Copy !req
368. I feel like I'm gonna fart.
Copy !req
369. Come on, man. Just a little wind.
Copy !req
370. Yeah!
Copy !req
371. Oh! They were hitting me with bosons.
Copy !req
372. Yeah, yeah, you can't do that.
Copy !req
373. The particle impact caused
my personas to split
Copy !req
374. and form separate physical entities,
Copy !req
375. which released a
cataclysmic energy burst.
Copy !req
376. I apologize, everyone.
Copy !req
377. I'm the one who ended the world.
Copy !req
378. Saved these babies, though.
Copy !req
379. Aw, damn it, there's a crack in them.
Copy !req
380. - Jeannie Gold!
- Tom Yabo!
Copy !req
381. - Genevieve Vavance!
- Braff Zacklin!
Copy !req
382. - Roy Rogers McFreely!
- Kevin Bacon!
Copy !req
383. - Horse Renoir!
- Chex LeMeneux!
Copy !req
384. - Clive Trotter!
- Miles Raymond!
Copy !req
385. - The Phantom of the Telethon!
- Cleshawn Montegue!
Copy !req
386. - Captain Francois Dubonet!
- Roland Chang!
Copy !req
387. General Juanito Pequeño!
Copy !req
388. Ricky Spanish!
Copy !req
389. - Max Jets!
- Jenny Fromdabloc!
Copy !req
390. - Frankie Carconni!
- Ruby Zeldastein!
Copy !req
391. - Uncle Roger!
- Dr. Penguin!
Copy !req
392. - Jojo Quinoa!
- Michael Corbin!
Copy !req
393. - The Legman!
- Dan Ansome Handsome!
Copy !req
394. - Arbuckle T. Boone!
- Lazlo Morphine!
Copy !req
395. - Shalonda Dykes!
- Dom Fikowski!
Copy !req
396. - Dimitri Garabedian!
- Morris Buttermaker!
Copy !req
397. - Sidney Huffman!
- Reaganomics Lamborghini!
Copy !req
398. - Martin Sugar!
- Burt Jarvis!
Copy !req
399. - Cuss Mustard!
- Frank Slade!
Copy !req
400. - Abigail Lemonparty!
- Twill Ongenbone!
Copy !req
401. And who could forget Clip Clop!
Copy !req
402. Are they... on our side?
Copy !req
403. Kevi-I-I-I-I-n Ramage!
Copy !req
404. Aah!
Copy !req
405. They are not on our side.
Copy !req
406. I think we all knew it
would end this way.
Copy !req
407. Did somebody order the fish?
Copy !req
408. Whooooo!
Copy !req
409. And that's the end of the story.
Copy !req
410. Grandpa, how come you never talk about
Copy !req
411. what happened in the battle?
Copy !req
412. 'Cause grandpa didn't have a great view
Copy !req
413. from his hiding spot.
Copy !req
414. But that's not what's important.
Copy !req
415. What's important is that every day,
Copy !req
416. we take a moment and
tell the people we care about...
Copy !req
417. "Don't let Roger in a Hadron Collider!"
Copy !req
418. I need to be watched very closely.
Copy !req