1. Aah!
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2. This is
some party!
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3. Hideki's doing
it right.
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4. He's doing it
exactly right.
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5. This is one of the craziest
parties I've ever been to.
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6. And as you know,
I'm friend... I'm friendly.
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7. I'm friendsly with Shaun White.
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8. Oh, my God.
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9. Is that... Donna
Nicole Marie Banelli?
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10. Hey, Banelli, you got a lot
of nerve showing up here!
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11. So what? So what?
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12. It's a free world.
So what?
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13. Excuse me, Stan.
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14. That's the bitch who gave all
my ideas to Michael Crichton.
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15. Hideki!
Happy birthday, man!
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16. You're doing it just right!
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17. This party,
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18. that double-breasted jacket
you're wearing with corduroys,
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19. the '70s pornography
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20. you're projecting
on the wall outside.
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21. These two things here.
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22. These are the last two
Etruscan urns in existence.
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23. Geez, Hideki,
how do you do it?
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24. You can have anything you want
if you just trust your gut.
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25. I don't always understand
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26. why my gut is telling me
to do something,
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27. but I always do it, because
it has never steered me wrong.
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28. Oh, my God,
you destroyed one of the urns!
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29. Making this one the
last one in existence.
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30. It's priceless now!
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31. Ha, that's right.
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32. Thank you, gut.
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33. So, what happened?
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34. Eh, wasn't her.
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35. And now, the final Lego
to complete our official entry
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36. into the tri-county
Lego competition!
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37. The four stages
of Ron Howard.
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38. Opie, Richie Cunningham
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39. and Ron Howard,
the director with...
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40. and without hat.
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41. Not bad.
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42. I love it, and I still don't
know who Ron Howard is.
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43. What, are you an idiot?
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44. He's only one
of the most popular
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45. mainstream directors
of our time.
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46. Eh, Ron Howard's okay,
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47. but I prefer indie films.
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48. Wait a minute.
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49. Do you smell that?
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50. Corned beef, tongue,
whitefish salad.
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51. Oh, no.
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52. A deli platter.
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53. That can only
mean one thing.
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54. Mom, who died?
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55. Schmuely.
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56. Uncle Ira?
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57. What are you doing here?
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58. How shall I put this?
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59. You're a child,
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60. and you're gonna remember this
for the rest of your life,
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61. so I want to make sure
I say this right.
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62. Your dad is dead!
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63. He's dead!
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64. Man, that Hideki
does it right.
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65. What a perfect party.
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66. Well, not
entirely perfect.
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67. The cake?
You noticed, too?
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68. Don't you hate it
when you're at a party
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69. and you have to wait, like,
forever for a piece of cake?
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70. Yeah, but they have
to cut the cake somehow.
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71. But what if they didn't?
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72. You mean, what if
they got enough cakes
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73. to give each and every
person their own entire cake?
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74. No, that's not what
I'm talking about at all.
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75. I mean, what if there was some
way to cut all the pieces...
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76. At the same time?
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77. Like some sort of...
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78. Gridded wire blade system
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79. that could quickly
and conveniently...
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80. Dice the cake into
appropriately-sized pieces
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81. with one simple cut?
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82. Yes! It could even be
dishwasher-safe,
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83. and the wire blades could...
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84. Roll into the handles
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85. so it would fit in a
kitchen drawer for...
Easy...
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86. No...
Nonsense...
Storage?
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87. We could call it
"Piece of Cake"
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88. because it makes
cutting a piece of cake...
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89. A piece of cake!
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90. What was that?
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91. I think that
was... my gut.
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92. Oh, my God, this
is just like Hideki!
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93. If we listen to it,
we'll get rich!
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94. Do you really think
it could work?
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95. I think someone does.
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96. They need to be together.
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97. What's that?
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98. Need an investor?
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99. Oh, my God,
we're really doing this!
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100. I know, it's really
gonna happen!
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101. And the best part is we'll be...
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102. equal partners.
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103. With only a verbal contract
based on trust.
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104. What more is necessary
among friends?
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105. Snot?
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106. Wh-What are you doing here?
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107. Why aren't you
at your dad's funeral?
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108. I'm not going.
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109. You're not going
to your own dad's funeral?
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110. It's all the way in Stockton.
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111. And my mom isn't going.
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112. And besides,
I didn't even know him.
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113. At best, we were... "friendsly."
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114. Now, come on, we're gonna be
late for the Lego competition.
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115. Whoa, whoa.
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116. You're not going
to the Lego competition.
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117. Snot, if you don't go
to your dad's funeral,
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118. you're gonna regret it
for the rest of your life.
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119. Like when I cut off
my rat tail.
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120. Steve, this is not
a big deal to me.
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121. I really don't care.
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122. Because you're in denial.
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123. Hmm, how do I make this
clear to you?
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124. Opie!
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125. What the hell, Steve?
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126. New plan.
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127. Barry, how much gas
you got?
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128. A half tank,
but it's a big tank.
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129. Why?
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130. Because we're going
to California.
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131. We're taking Snot
to his dad's funeral.
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132. I said I don't
want to go.
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133. Snot, come on.
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134. You know what you
would do right now
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135. if this were one
of your indie movies.
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136. You'd drop everything
you were doing,
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137. hop in this car
and take a cross-country trip
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138. to your estranged
father's funeral.
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139. And you know
where your best friends
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140. in the whole world are gonna be?
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141. Right there beside you
every step of the way.
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142. I care about you way too much
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143. to let you miss something
this big.
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144. Fine, but I'm telling you,
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145. I'm gonna get to that funeral
and still not feel anything
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146. about my dad dying.
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147. I promise you, buddy,
by the time we get there,
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148. you're gonna be
an emotional wreck.
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149. We went out in search
of a way to say good-bye
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150. to an absent father,
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151. but we found
a lot more than that.
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152. We found each other.
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153. Not to mention ourselves.
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154. And like the open road...
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155. we are infinite.
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156. Will you shut up?
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157. You've been narrating
for four hours.
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158. I can't believe
your dad is dead.
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159. Hey, how you doing?
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160. Fine.
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161. My dad was never there
for me when he was alive,
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162. so it doesn't feel
like anything's changed.
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163. I mean, he was in and out
of my life until I was eight,
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164. and then he disappeared
completely.
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165. I used to get all excited
when he was around
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166. 'cause he'd give me Cheetos
for breakfast.
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167. It wasn't until I got older
that I came to understand
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168. that he did that because
he didn't care about me at all.
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169. He didn't even care enough
to get me real Cheetos.
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170. It was some off-brand knockoff
called "Cheese O's."
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171. I had no idea
that while I was swimming
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172. in name-brand snack foods,
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173. everything was so weird for you.
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174. I'm gonna need a minute, guys.
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175. Look, there's
a lonely hitchhiker.
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176. Let's pick him up
and you can analyze him.
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177. Whew, thanks for the ride.
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178. I was standing out there
for quite a while.
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179. It's cool, man.
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180. We're on a pretty
heavy trip ourselves.
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181. His dad died.
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182. So, yeah,
there's that.
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183. Oh, I'm sorry
to hear about that.
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184. Thanks, but I didn't really...
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185. Yeah.
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186. It's been pretty rough
on all of us.
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187. Barry, pull over.
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188. We need to wander
around the woods.
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189. You've been running
from your feelings, Snot.
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190. But that ends here.
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191. The only thing
more natural than nature
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192. is feelings.
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193. Okay, I'm out.
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194. I don't think I can
relate to this journey.
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195. The truth is I have a
serious meth addiction
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196. and I need to get to an
underpass before nightfall.
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197. Good luck and Godspeed.
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198. That could be
your dad right now.
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199. Ca-caw!
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200. What the hell is that thing?
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201. It represents your dad.
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202. I was thinking you could scream
at it or burn it or something.
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203. I'm not gonna do that.
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204. Snot, you need to process this!
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205. This is a big deal!
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206. Yeah, it's my big deal!
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207. And I am not gonna
pretend to have
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208. some big theatrical
reaction to this
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209. just to make you happy!
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210. But you should have
some reaction.
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211. You have to feel
something!
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212. He was your dad.
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213. And now he's gone.
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214. We're all gonna die, Steven!
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215. I'm gonna die!
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216. You're gonna die!
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217. Everyone dies!
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218. Do you really think
any of this
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219. is going to last forever?
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220. 'Cause it's not!
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221. Your dad's death
is tearing us apart!
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222. We are all alone
in the universe.
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223. We are not alone!
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224. We're in this
together!
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225. We are born alone
and we die alone.
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226. Why am I here?
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227. I don't know
why I'm here.
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228. Wait a minute.
Where's Toshi?
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229. Toshi?
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230. Tosh!
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231. Toshi!
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232. Toshi, where are you?
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233. Toshi, please
come back!
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234. Toshi!
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235. It's so hot in this corn.
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236. I found him!
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237. What are you talking about?
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238. Please go.
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239. The secret to
the "Piece of Cake" system
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240. is the real aluminum wire,
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241. which is spun to perfection
in China.
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242. Where they know
how to spin wire.
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243. This wire is safe to touch.
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244. You will not cut yourself
on this wire.
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245. This wire retracts into
the handles for easy storage.
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246. I could just go on and on
about this wire,
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247. but the real proof
is in the puddin',
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248. or the cake,
as I should have said,
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249. because we are about
to slice up some cake!
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250. I don't know
about you,
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251. but I am glad I came
to work today.
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252. Now, just watch this.
Look at this.
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253. Watch and see how
amazing this is.
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254. Look! Look! Look! Look!
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255. Look at this!
Look at this! Look!
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256. Now, I've heard stories
of people running this system
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257. under hot water
and using it on ice-cream cake!
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258. We don't have time to
dillydally, so we're just
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259. going to get a room, shower up,
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260. and then get right back
on the road.
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261. Um, hi.
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262. Uh, can I help you
with your cello?
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263. No. It's my suitcase.
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264. I just don't think
all suitcases
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265. should be rectangles,
you know?
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266. I think sometimes
suitcases
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267. can be cello cases
with clothes in them.
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268. What are you doing here?
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269. I'm traveling cross-country
taking Polaroid pictures
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270. of people walking
other people's dogs.
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271. It's pretty hard
to tell,
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272. but I didn't
become an artist
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273. because it was easy.
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274. You're amazing.
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275. I'm actually
a total dork.
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276. I got to get
something to eat.
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277. I'm starving.
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278. Where were you?
Where were you?
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279. Where were you?
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280. Move.
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281. You can move that way
or you can move that way,
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282. but you got to move.
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283. You're right.
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284. I've been
frozen inside.
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285. Stuck.
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286. Now I understand
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287. what Steve was trying
to do for me.
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288. I got to get
to this funeral.
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289. I've got to move.
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290. Yes, move.
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291. I must clean.
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292. Frat boys poop
all over room.
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293. And in the lobby!
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294. They only do this
'cause I Tri Delt.
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295. Yeah, so his
dad is dead
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296. and we're heading
to the funeral.
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297. It's rough,
because his dad
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298. was never really
there for him, so...
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299. you know,
it's-it's rough.
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300. He's also pretty poor.
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301. Well, with a friend
like you,
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302. he's got more
than most.
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303. I'm gonna leave
this picture
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304. at a gas station.
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305. Steve, I get it now.
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306. I get why I have to go
to my dad's funeral.
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307. And I owe it
all to you.
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308. That-that's great, buddy.
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309. And I want to talk
all about it
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310. the minute you get back.
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311. Just you and me
in the buddy closet.
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312. You're not going with me
to my dad's funeral?
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313. I would love to,
but-but this girl,
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314. this-this incredibly
hard-to-define girl...
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315. I think she's the one.
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316. And that I would
meet her now,
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317. while you're going
through your thing...
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318. what a wonderfully
transformative time
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319. for both of us!
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320. But...
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321. Life.
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322. Am I right?
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323. I can't believe
Steve bailed
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324. after everything
we've been through.
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325. Thanks for being here
for me, Barry.
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326. Hey, I just
feel good
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327. taking you to your
dad's funeral.
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328. I just realized
I don't know your name.
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329. I could tell
you my name,
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330. but would my name tell you
Copy !req
331. that I'm incapable
of seeing the color orange?
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332. I just have to trust people
who give me these.
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333. Or that I think mustaches
are T-shirts for lips?
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334. Or that I wear
ice skates to weddings?
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335. It's hard to dance.
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336. But that's just the
type of person I am.
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337. I'm Steve.
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338. I'm the kind of guy
who drives cross-country
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339. to take his friend
to his old man's funeral,
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340. then gives it all up
when he finds
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341. his manic, pixie dream girl
along the way.
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342. Wait a minute.
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343. You blew off your
grieving friend
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344. to hang out in a hot tub
with a complete stranger?
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345. No.
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346. No, you don't understand.
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347. I helped him get in touch
with his sadness.
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348. I'm the only reason
he even went to the funeral.
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349. Oh, I just
figured you out.
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350. You're an emotional tourist.
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351. A what?
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352. You're the kind of person
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353. who feeds off
other's experiences
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354. to fill the void inside of you.
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355. An emotional tourist.
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356. And I'm sorry,
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357. but that's not the
trip I packed for.
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358. We're all searching.
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359. For something.
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360. Something that makes us
feel alive.
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361. Something to connect us.
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362. To give our lives meaning.
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363. But sometimes when you're
searching for something,
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364. the worst thing
that can happen is...
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365. you find it.
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366. Well, we made it.
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367. So, now what?
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368. Just drive.
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369. A railroad gypsy took
away my vas deferens,
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370. but you are
bumming me out.
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371. I could have gotten
out of the truck
Copy !req
372. and given Snot a hug...
Copy !req
373. but what would
have been the point?
Copy !req
374. What's the point of anything?
Copy !req
375. I've seen a lot of strange
things in my long life,
Copy !req
376. in between the blinks,
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377. but that was definitely
the weirdest kid
Copy !req
378. I ever drove away
from a funeral.
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379. And I'm usually up
for anything.
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380. Aah!
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381. We're rich!
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382. It worked!
It worked!
Copy !req
383. And it all went so smoothly.
Copy !req
384. That's what happens
when you trust your gut!
Copy !req
385. So, what now?
Copy !req
386. It was Hideki.
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387. Hideki got shot.
Copy !req
388. Bye! Have a beautiful time.
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