1. Aah!
Copy !req
2. Radishes are looking healthy.
Copy !req
3. Strawberries have their seeds
on the outside. That's good.
Copy !req
4. Zucchini
appropriately phallic...
Copy !req
5. inducing slight feelings
of inadequacy.
Copy !req
6. What the...! These tomatoes
are mired in the dirt!
Copy !req
7. They're-they're in danger
of getting ground rot!
Copy !req
8. They look okay to me.
Copy !req
9. The day "okay" is good enough
for this garden club
Copy !req
10. is the day I resign
as its president!
Copy !req
11. We're co-presidents, Steve.
Copy !req
12. Then start
acting like it!
Copy !req
13. Oh, what nice
tomatoes.
Copy !req
14. No, Mom, they're not.
Copy !req
15. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
16. You're making me look uncool
in front of the garden club!
Copy !req
17. Gardening? Steve, that's
one of my four things!
Copy !req
18. And you and I haven't
really done anything
together in a while.
Copy !req
19. Can I join?
Gardening is
about creating
Copy !req
20. something from nothing
and watching it grow.
Copy !req
21. What would you know
about that, Mother?
Copy !req
22. Pfft!
Copy !req
23. Anyway...
Copy !req
24. if we intend to have
gazpacho for Arbor Day,
Copy !req
25. we're gonna need
a tomato cage, stat.
Copy !req
26. To the gardening store!
Copy !req
27. Ooh, maybe I
could drive you.
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28. We could play
car bingo!
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29. I'll let you smoke!
Copy !req
30. I got to say,
I'm all a-tither
Copy !req
31. for our big
performance.
I know, right?
Copy !req
32. Russian balalaika trios
are gonna be the next big thing,
Copy !req
33. and we'll be at the forefront,
raking in the rubles.
Copy !req
34. Then where's our audience?
Copy !req
35. Relax. People will show.
Copy !req
36. I mean, we're the only
game in town, right?
Copy !req
37. I mean, it's not like there's
anyone else in Langley Falls
working their asses off
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38. to keep alive the
orchestral folk traditions
of tsarist Russia!
Copy !req
39. Just made my own sandwich
for the first time.
Copy !req
40. Awful. Just awful.
Copy !req
41. Mm. Mm.
Copy !req
42. Oh, oh, oh, God.
Copy !req
43. What's your drama, Mama?
Copy !req
44. Steve doesn't want anything
to do with me anymore.
Copy !req
45. We used to have
so much in common,
Copy !req
46. but now...
Oh, it's all
perfectly natural.
Copy !req
47. Steve is becoming a man,
and one aspect of being a man
Copy !req
48. is having absolutely
no interest in women.
Copy !req
49. I suppose
you're right.
Copy !req
50. Of course I'm right—
because I'm a man.
Copy !req
51. A man, Francine.
Copy !req
52. From my head down
to my low-hanging...
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53. Ooh!
Copy !req
54. Stan! Are you okay?
Copy !req
55. This is
some thick-ass gauge wire.
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56. We're buying it.
Copy !req
57. Barry, hand over
the money.
Copy !req
58. I don't have
any money.
Copy !req
59. But you're
the treasurer.
Copy !req
60. We-we gave you all
of our club funds to manage.
Copy !req
61. I spent it all
on dance moves!
Copy !req
62. Jealous?
Copy !req
63. A little.
Copy !req
64. Aw, great.
Copy !req
65. Well, we need this cage.
Copy !req
66. So I guess we have no choice
but to steal it.
Copy !req
67. Okay, so Toshi's in,
I'm in. You guys in?
Copy !req
68. Okay, but how
are we gonna do it?
Copy !req
69. That was awesome!
Copy !req
70. What a rush!
I'm shaking.
Copy !req
71. I want to rip something off!
Copy !req
72. No, me!
Copy !req
73. In time, fellows.
Copy !req
74. But you're
just beginners,
Copy !req
75. so we need to find a place
that's easy to steal from.
Copy !req
76. Hmm...
Copy !req
77. I don't get it.
Copy !req
78. Why didn't people come?
Copy !req
79. We had 45 maybes
on our Evites.
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80. Hayley, "maybe" means no.
Copy !req
81. The only place that
"maybe" means maybe is sex.
Copy !req
82. Maybe.
Copy !req
83. Okay, I'll bite.
Copy !req
84. What's up with
the gyroscope
on his junk?
Copy !req
85. Stan was... injured
Copy !req
86. and went into a rare
condition known as...
Copy !req
87. "testicular
retreat syndrome."
Copy !req
88. His, um... nuggs
were so traumatized,
Copy !req
89. they ran up into
his body to heal.
Copy !req
90. What? Will he be okay?
Copy !req
91. We don't know yet.
Copy !req
92. They might drop down
again someday,
Copy !req
93. but the doctors say
there's a good chance
Copy !req
94. they'll just
die up there,
Copy !req
95. like a gut-torn rabbit
in a wooded thicket.
Copy !req
96. Wait, hold on a second.
I'm confused.
Copy !req
97. Why the hell didn't
you dicks show up to our
balalaika concert?
Copy !req
98. (high-I've got
bigger problems right now
Copy !req
99. than supporting
your commie music!
Copy !req
100. Stop! So what if I sound
a little feminine?
Copy !req
101. Stop laughing and treat me
with the respect I deserve!
Copy !req
102. My voice is not that...
Copy !req
103. not that high.
Copy !req
104. It's a little higher
than usual.
Copy !req
105. And that, Mr. Baby,
is why I vastly prefer
Copy !req
106. a good round of marbles to
these confounded video games.
Copy !req
107. Back in my day,
all we had to have fun
Copy !req
108. was sleepy hobos and fire ants.
Copy !req
109. Well, thanks for
the trip down memory lane,
Copy !req
110. but there's a can outside,
and it's not gonna kick itself.
Copy !req
111. Hold it right
there, son.
Copy !req
112. Abort! Abort!
Copy !req
113. What's in your
pocket there?
Copy !req
114. And how about
your other pocket?
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115. I-I'm in a gardening club!
Copy !req
116. There, there, sweetie.
Copy !req
117. Hey, Stan, want me
to horse whisper
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118. those bad boys
out of there?
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119. Wh-What did they say?
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120. It's no use.
Copy !req
121. There's no talking
sense into them...
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122. 'cause they're nuts!
Copy !req
123. Dad, things'll turn out okay.
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124. Jawohl. I lost my testes
when I became a fish.
Copy !req
125. But being a fish isn't all bad.
Copy !req
126. Now I can write inspirational
messages in the water.
Copy !req
127. No! I'm a freak!
Copy !req
128. Until my boys drop
and my voice returns,
Copy !req
129. I vow you'll never
hear me speak again!
Copy !req
130. Starting...
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131. Hello.
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132. What? Oh, no!
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133. I'll be right down!
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134. Aah! Ha-ha-ha!
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135. Wow!
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136. Ha! Yeah!
Copy !req
137. Thank you for letting
Steve off with just
a warning, Mr. Baby.
Copy !req
138. Well, you're lucky I'm just
a mom-and-pop operation.
Copy !req
139. Technically,
just a pop operation,
Copy !req
140. since the woman
I share my bed with
Copy !req
141. is not the mother
of my children,
Copy !req
142. but a toothless candy whore
who I pay in Razzles.
Copy !req
143. But the bigger
corporate stores
Copy !req
144. won't be so forgiving
with your boy.
Copy !req
145. Oh, don't you worry.
Copy !req
146. Steve will learn
his lesson.
Copy !req
147. Yo, Julian,
where my Razzles?
Copy !req
148. Damn it, woman, why
won't you yell at me?
Copy !req
149. And what are we doing
in your bedroom?
Copy !req
150. Oh, God!
Copy !req
151. You're gonna lock me
in your closet!
Copy !req
152. But that's where
the Blouse Monster lives!
Copy !req
153. A-A secret room?
Copy !req
154. What is this stuff?
Copy !req
155. Ah, just a lot of things
I've stolen over the years...
Copy !req
156. successfully.
What?
Copy !req
157. Don't you get it, Steve?
Copy !req
158. I'm not angry at you
for stealing.
Copy !req
159. I'm angry that
you got caught!
Copy !req
160. Aah! Blouse Monster!
Copy !req
161. No! I won't put you on!
Copy !req
162. I don't understand.
Copy !req
163. You're telling me
Copy !req
164. you shoplifted
all this stuff?
Copy !req
165. And unlike you,
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166. I haven't gotten
caught in 20 years.
Copy !req
167. Wow, look at all
these treasures.
Copy !req
168. A ream of printer paper,
Copy !req
169. a VHS tape rewinder,
Copy !req
170. a four-pack of paint rollers.
Copy !req
171. Huh, this all looked a lot more
impressive on first glance.
Copy !req
172. That's 'cause I give 'em all
a regular spritz
Copy !req
173. with this Sparkle Spray.
Copy !req
174. It's so beautiful.
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175. This is all so...
Copy !req
176. badass!
Copy !req
177. I thought you were
a typical, lame mom,
Copy !req
178. but it turns out
you're a hard-core criminal?
Copy !req
179. A criminal is someone
who gets caught, Steve.
Copy !req
180. We're artists.
Copy !req
181. We?
That's right.
Copy !req
182. You're my son.
Copy !req
183. And from now on,
when my son steals,
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184. he's gonna know how
to get away with it.
Copy !req
185. I can't believe
Copy !req
186. we're getting ready
to shoplift together!
Copy !req
187. What mother doesn't
dream of this moment?
Copy !req
188. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's do this!
Copy !req
189. Let's lift
some khakis!
Copy !req
190. The Gash?
Copy !req
191. You can't
start there.
Copy !req
192. The security
is top-notch.
Copy !req
193. First, I have to
teach you everything
Copy !req
194. about how to
work a snatch.
Copy !req
195. Please tell me
we're still talking
about stealing.
Copy !req
196. He liked it!
Copy !req
197. Uh, not so fast.
Copy !req
198. I think the periods
imply detached sarcasm.
Copy !req
199. Of course
they do!
Copy !req
200. The entire
second verse
Copy !req
201. you were plucking
instead of plinking!
Copy !req
202. Don't you start, fish!
Copy !req
203. You play that gusli
like a syphilitic babushka!
Copy !req
204. Quiet!
Copy !req
205. You're both bourgeois
mediocrities.
Copy !req
206. Wait.
Where are you going?
Copy !req
207. I don't need you two
to get famous.
Copy !req
208. Most people
just come
Copy !req
209. to hear the
garmon anyway.
Copy !req
210. Fine.
Copy !req
211. The mariachi band
at El Compadre's
Copy !req
212. been begging me to join 'em.
Copy !req
213. And I'll
just become
Copy !req
214. a solo gusli
sensation!
Copy !req
215. Look who thinks he's
the next Igor Kasminov.
Copy !req
216. That is it!
Copy !req
217. From here on, consider
this balalaika trio kaputsky!
Copy !req
218. Fine!
Copy !req
219. Nothing will unite
us ever again!
Copy !req
220. Presents!
Copy !req
221. Hayley, this megaphone is
the absolute top-of-the-line.
Copy !req
222. Certain to make you
the most annoying person
Copy !req
223. at your next Occupy rally.
Copy !req
224. Thanks, Dingus!
Copy !req
225. Roger, I found you
this limited-edition
Copy !req
226. porcelain doll
of JonBenet Ramsey...
Copy !req
227. as an angel.
Copy !req
228. Are you implying that there was
any version of her that wasn't?
Copy !req
229. Oh, God, I love her so much!
Copy !req
230. Klaus, we got you
a Tiffany fishbowl.
Copy !req
231. It's just like
your regular fishbowl,
Copy !req
232. except it's expensive
for some reason.
Copy !req
233. Whatever, as long as I have
the blue box to show the girls!
Copy !req
234. And finally, for Stan,
Copy !req
235. a custom Rolex with
a special display
Copy !req
236. that counts down the minutes
until Rachel Maddow's death!
Copy !req
237. How did I pay for all this?
Copy !req
238. Well... money, of course.
Copy !req
239. Oh, who are
we kidding?
Copy !req
240. We lifted it!
We pinched it!
Copy !req
241. We gave it the
old Zazzoo!
Copy !req
242. I'm assuming
from context
Copy !req
243. that old Zazzoo
also means stealing.
Copy !req
244. Yes.
Copy !req
245. I can't believe
what I'm hearing!
Copy !req
246. Shoplifting?
Seriously, guys?
Copy !req
247. For shame!
Copy !req
248. Francine, what are we teaching
our children
Copy !req
249. and aliens and fish?
Copy !req
250. I may not have the authority
around here I once had,
Copy !req
251. but damn it,
I still know what's right!
Copy !req
252. I'm sorry, but Rachel Maddow's
death will just have
Copy !req
253. to come
as a pleasant surprise to me.
Copy !req
254. Promise me you two
will never steal again.
Copy !req
255. Okay, Dad. I promise
we'll never shoplift again.
Copy !req
256. Will we, Mom?
Copy !req
257. Okay.
Copy !req
258. Are we
done here?
Copy !req
259. 'Cause we were in the
middle of a storm-off.
Copy !req
260. Our balalaika
trio is finished!
Copy !req
261. Dad, are you bathing?
Copy !req
262. 'Cause it-it smells
like you're...
Copy !req
263. not bathing.
Copy !req
264. Well, this is still fun.
Copy !req
265. I mean, we're
hanging out.
Copy !req
266. Um, we don't have to
hang out at the mall.
Copy !req
267. We could always
get a motorcycle
Copy !req
268. with a sidecar
and find lost dogs!
Copy !req
269. Yeah. See you later, Mom.
Copy !req
270. Wait! What if we
shoplift again?
Copy !req
271. What?
Copy !req
272. I mean... we can't
go out like this.
Copy !req
273. We got to have
one final heist.
Copy !req
274. But we promised Dad.
Copy !req
275. Look, this isn't just any heist.
Copy !req
276. I'm talking
about hitting The Gash.
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277. The Gash?
Copy !req
278. You mean I'm finally ready?
Copy !req
279. No, Steve.
Copy !req
280. We're ready.
Copy !req
281. Yeah, you're ready!
Copy !req
282. I'm liking
that confidence!
Copy !req
283. Anyway, what's next?
Copy !req
284. Where we going?
Copy !req
285. Okay, I'll create
a distraction
Copy !req
286. while you run a
reverse snatch-and-grab
Copy !req
287. down the cardigan table.
Copy !req
288. Meet at the
fountain at 2:00.
Copy !req
289. Got it.
Copy !req
290. Excuse me.
Copy !req
291. I think there's something
wrong with this changing room.
Copy !req
292. Oh, she is good.
Copy !req
293. Huh.
Copy !req
294. Excuse me. Have you seen
my beautiful boy?
Copy !req
295. Yeah, he was here.
Copy !req
296. But our Loss Prevention
Unit has him now.
Copy !req
297. Aah!
Copy !req
298. Hi there, shoplifter!
Copy !req
299. Welcome to The Gash...
Copy !req
300. sweatshop!
Copy !req
301. Excuse me, miss?
Copy !req
302. Hi. How can I help you today?
Copy !req
303. I was just wondering, who's
my union representative?
Copy !req
304. Okay. Oh.
Copy !req
305. Anything else
I can help you with?
Copy !req
306. No, thanks.
Copy !req
307. Okay, well, my name's Harper
if you need anything.
Copy !req
308. How long have
you been here?
Copy !req
309. 20 years.
Copy !req
310. Oh, my God, I just realized
I can't take it anymore!
Copy !req
311. No! Not the sweater fold!
Copy !req
312. Stan!
Copy !req
313. I'm sorry. I ran
all the way home
Copy !req
314. because I forgot
I had my car with me.
Copy !req
315. The Gash's Loss Prevention Unit
caught Steve shoplifting!
Copy !req
316. You guys were
shoplifting again?
Copy !req
317. Skip the lecture.
Copy !req
318. When people get caught
shoplifting from The Gash,
Copy !req
319. they're never
heard from again.
Copy !req
320. Well, I wish
I could help you,
Copy !req
321. but I am powerless
without my nuggs.
Copy !req
322. Only you can save our son.
Copy !req
323. You're the man
of the house now.
Copy !req
324. Good-bye, Stan.
Copy !req
325. Do whatever it takes
to get Steve back.
Copy !req
326. Oh, my God, that
was transcendent!
Copy !req
327. With you and your heavenly voice
accompanying us,
Copy !req
328. we'll skyrocket to the top
Copy !req
329. of the ever-popular
world music charts!
Copy !req
330. I say we reunite
the band, but
as a quartet.
Copy !req
331. How about
it, Daddy?
Copy !req
332. I suppose
I could give it a try.
Copy !req
333. Yay!
Copy !req
334. Yes!
Copy !req
335. Yeah, it'll be fun, right?
Copy !req
336. I mean, this could be
just what I need
Copy !req
337. to get me out
of this living room.
Copy !req
338. And back into life.
Copy !req
339. My boys just dropped!
Copy !req
340. No, no. No!
Copy !req
341. Thank God.
I'm back to normal.
Copy !req
342. I don't have to settle
Copy !req
343. for a life of singing
with you idiots after all.
Copy !req
344. Ah, to hell
with it.
Copy !req
345. Hello.
Copy !req
346. Welcome to The Gash's
infamous third-world sweatshop.
Copy !req
347. Hola.
Copy !req
348. I'm an inspector from...
the government.
Copy !req
349. We have concerns your sweatshop
isn't cruel enough.
Copy !req
350. Ridiculous!
Copy !req
351. As you can see, our facility
is exceptionally cruel.
Copy !req
352. Our workers may pray
Copy !req
353. for freedom,
but they hope for death.
Copy !req
354. Oh, what a pretty coat!
Copy !req
355. What's your name?
Copy !req
356. Worker 39872.
Copy !req
357. But I used
to be called Matilda.
Copy !req
358. I don't like the spunk
in this one.
Copy !req
359. Seems like she still
has some will to live.
Copy !req
360. I'll interview her alone.
Copy !req
361. Okay, Matilda, here's the deal.
Copy !req
362. I'm not really an inspector.
Copy !req
363. I'm a shoplifter,
just like you.
Copy !req
364. Are-are you the one?
Copy !req
365. The savior foretold
in our legends
Copy !req
366. come to free us
from our bondage?
Copy !req
367. Huh? No.
Copy !req
368. Oh. That sucks.
Copy !req
369. Have you seen this kid
around here?
Copy !req
370. Well, I don't know him,
Copy !req
371. but, uh, the latest batch of
arrivals ended up in Zone Q.
Copy !req
372. Wait! If-if you're getting
out of here,
Copy !req
373. could you take me with you?
Copy !req
374. You have my
word, Matilda.
Copy !req
375. Steve?
Copy !req
376. Floobity-floobity!
Copy !req
377. Mom?
Copy !req
378. Steve!
Copy !req
379. Let's get out of here.
Copy !req
380. What about my sensor tag?
Copy !req
381. You'll never get me
through those gates.
Copy !req
382. Whoa. How'd you do that?
Copy !req
383. This is me we're
talking about.
Copy !req
384. The woman who once crotchwalked
an oven out of a Sears.
Copy !req
385. Crotchwalked?
Copy !req
386. Oh, dear.
Copy !req
387. Thanks for the access.
Copy !req
388. I'll be sure to give
a favorable report.
Copy !req
389. Thank you,
and may I just say,
Copy !req
390. you look in no way
suspicious to me.
Copy !req
391. (pop)
Aah!
Copy !req
392. Just send me
back to work.
Copy !req
393. I can't be
all up in that.
Copy !req
394. She's trying
to liberate a shoplifter!
Copy !req
395. Seize them!
Copy !req
396. I'm really
sorry, Mom.
Copy !req
397. I blew it
for both of us.
Copy !req
398. You didn't blow
anything, sweetie.
Copy !req
399. I've still got one last
shoplifting trick up my sleeve.
Copy !req
400. Not really
a shoplifting trick
Copy !req
401. so much as one
of Dad's grenades, Mom.
Copy !req
402. Hey, it worked
at Macy's!
Copy !req
403. Matilda!
Copy !req
404. Bitch.
Copy !req
405. Bye! Have a beautiful time.
Copy !req