1. Come moe, come moe, kyun.
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2. A fortuitous moment, the heart goes thump.
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3. Japan's first ever maid, Omoe.
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4. In the early Meiji period when social stratification
was still engrained in society,
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5. she served all masters without distinction,
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6. and enamored the people of Akiha-no-hara
with violence and moe.
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7. After her death, an annual festival called the
Lady Omoe Climb was established in her honor.
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8. It is a fighting festival where maids compete for the top
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9. in the name of honor and pride.
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10. Welcome home, Master
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11. Welcome home, Mistress
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12. Welcome home, Master
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13. Welcome home, Mistress
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14. Welcome home, Master
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15. Omelet fully loaded with chicken and rice
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16. Make it yummy, moe moe kyun
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17. With plenty of milk and plenty of love
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18. Let's cast a spell, moe moe kyun
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19. Seeing sooo many masters here makes me so happy, oink!
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20. Fresh out of Moe Moe Forest
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21. This maid's going whole hog, oink!
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22. Welcome home, Master
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23. Kawaii is justice, oink!
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24. My makeup's just the bomb, like, O.M.G.!
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25. Ramen, extra veggies, topped with sauce, fat, and garlic aplenty
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26. Welcome home to the pigsty!
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27. Hey! This is my maid way!
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28. Shot through your heart like, Boom! Boom! Boom!
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29. Take an instax with the scumbag
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30. Hey! Maid princesses from Hell!
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31. Stan for me or, Blam! Blam! Blam!
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32. Petticoats whirl in a scuffle
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33. Hide-and-seek at the maid cafe
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34. Nice service for booming sales
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35. Falling in love is a big no-no
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36. A cutesy garden of secrets
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37. So, I hear you've been raking it in recently.
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38. Guess I can't complain.
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39. But I hear some shady rumors as well.
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40. That your cafe's bringing in customers
by pushing drugs.
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41. Huh?
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42. Oh, of course widdle teddy here
doesn't believe any of that.
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43. But if Miss Nagi were to catch wind of it...
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44. Y'know what killed the cat?
I'll have you stuffed.
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45. Bring it on.
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46. I'll skin that dense hide of yours and
make a shamisen out of it.
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47. Sit.
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48. Yes, ma'am.
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49. This year's Akiba Maid Festival will be special in that
the Creatureland Group will be the sole organizer.
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50. Now that those pesky extraterrestrials are gone, yes.
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51. Having a single group organize the festival
is a first in Akiba history.
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52. Indeed, for the Lady Omoe Climb in particular,
we are overseeing all of the arrangements,
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53. so that all the cafes understand that Dazzlion,
the one Miss Nagi personally manages,
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54. is supposed to win.
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55. The time has come.
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56. We will show Akiba that we are
the ultimate ecosystem of Creatures.
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57. Wow! What's that?
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58. That's Lady Omoe.
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59. We all climb her at the end of the festival.
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60. Sounds like fun!
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61. Maids fight it out and
literally kick each other down, though.
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62. Fight?
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63. The maid who wins becomes
Lady Omoe for the coming year.
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64. That means better priority in the group
and more customers for the cafe.
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65. What? Then we should totally go for that!
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66. Nah, no way.
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67. The starting order for the Lady Omoe Climb
is based on food stall profits.
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68. Last year, the race was done
before we even got to start.
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69. But if we work really hard on the food stall-
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70. Huh! I thought it reeked of pig.
No wonder.
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71. Wh-what do you want?
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72. Huh? What's that swine?
Why are you talking?
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73. I hear you pigs have been rather upiggy recently.
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74. I mean, "uppity" recently.
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75. I wouldn't say that.
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76. A couple of feisty newbies put ideas
into your head, huh?
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77. That's not true.
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78. Nah, of course not!
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79. You know you pigs are always
at the bottom of the heap!
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80. You can have at it with non-affiliates all you want,
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81. but you'd better keep to the creature pecking order.
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82. Okachimachi!
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83. Water! Water!
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84. How could they be so awful?
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85. It's just what we get as a maid cafe ranked dead last.
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86. We hardly ever run into maids from
other affiliate cafes outside the festival,
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87. so they love getting the chance
to make fun of us every year.
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88. It's not like you two to put up with trash talk!
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89. There's no point in going against a higher ranked cafe.
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90. What she said.
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91. You don't want another bloody turf war
on our hands, do you?
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92. Well no, but...
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93. C'mon! Let's get this tent up
and go help Ranko and the others.
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94. These are the guidelines for this year's festival.
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95. Read it over thoroughly!
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96. Ok-reature!
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97. This year's festival is a special one indeed.
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98. Read every word, every sentence carefully,
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99. and beat them into all of your pigsty maids!
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100. Ok-reature!
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101. Evening, sir!
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102. Make sure your tiny piggy brains understand-
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103. Huh? I wonder what that was about?
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104. Sheesh! It's miniscule!
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105. Chief?
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106. Oh, hey, welcome back.
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107. Pig's feet?
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108. Last year we sold colored piglets.
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109. Colored piglets?
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110. But why?
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111. There are plenty of other festival stalls,
like shaved ice and candy apples...
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112. The higher-ranked cafes take all the good ones.
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113. We're too bottom-rung to get to do those.
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114. I see...
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115. Well, pig's feet are a great source
of collagen, you know?
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116. What does she mean by "bottom-rung"?
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117. Oh...
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118. Our group has what they call the "Moe Moe Hierarchy."
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119. And we're ranked at the very bottom.
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120. Why are we ranked so low?
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121. Well see, cafes that do dirty work for the higher ups,
or offer lots of sweets money,
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122. or have a bond of sisterhood with a better cafe
are ranked higher.
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123. We have none of that, so we're down at the bottom.
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124. Get it?
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125. I understand the structure, at least.
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126. The bottom...
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127. Can we cut this talk?
It's a total buzzkill.
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128. You're right.
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129. We just have to stick it out for the festival.
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130. Yep, just have to keep our heads down.
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131. Zoya, can you break down and bundle
the empty boxes?
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132. Of course!
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133. There we go.
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134. What is the meaning of this?
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135. Are you worried that we might lose?
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136. Oh, of course not.
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137. We merely devised some arrangements
to ensure total lion victory.
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138. What is Miss Nagi worried about?
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139. We are the king of beasts.
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140. We don't need any arrangements to get to the top.
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141. But of course!
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142. Your victory is unassailable.
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143. This is but a formality.
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144. Go tell Miss Nagi that we will show her
an elegant victory.
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145. Moe moe rawr!
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146. Your rawr!
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147. What an honor!
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148. Hello?
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149. It's me.
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150. Ok-reature!
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151. I'm running a final check about the guidelines.
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152. I trust your maids all know the deal?
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153. Oh, uh, of course.
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154. If any of you violate those guidelines,
we will be disowning Oinky Doink.
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155. Is there a problem?
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156. Oh, not at all!
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157. Crap, crap! The guidelines!
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158. Uh, somewhere around here...
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159. It was here, wasn't it?
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160. Huh? What the...
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161. Looks flashier than yesterday, huh?
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162. Oh! Good morning!
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163. Nagomi?
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164. It's a festival, after all!
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165. It's a shame to have to keep our heads down!
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166. If we make lots of masters happy,
I'm sure it will be that much more fun!
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167. You've been at this since the morning?
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168. Yes!
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169. Your face is smudged.
Wipe it off later.
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170. Well, might as well enjoy the festival, huh?
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171. The cuter the better, I say!
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172. Exactly! Let's do our best!
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173. Uh? Is something wrong?
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174. It's just, I haven't seen the chief anywhere.
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175. Uh, whatever.
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176. It doesn't make a difference either way.
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177. C'mon, let's get ready.
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178. Man, I feel bad.
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179. They're probably all panicking right now
with me missing, huh?
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180. Now, welcome home, welcome home,
welcome home all.
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181. Masters and Mistresses, we truly appreciate
seeing such a large turnout lined up today.
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182. Every single maid cafe in Akiba
is gathered all together here today,
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183. so at every stall and every performance
the sky's the limit for moe, moe 'til you drop,
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184. covering every possible genre of moe,
a moe moe festival.
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185. The Akiba Maid Festival begins now!
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186. Moe moe kyun kyun, moe moe kyun kyun,
moe moe kyun kyun, moe moe kyun kyun!
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187. Moe moe kyun kyun, moe moe kyun kyun,
moe moe kyun kyun, moe moe kyun kyun!
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188. Pig's feet?
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189. Would you like one?
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190. Um, where are the outhouses?
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191. The outhouses are that way, oink.
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192. Thank you.
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193. We're not here to point out the outhouses, jeez.
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194. It's been how many times now?
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195. That was the twenty-sixth time.
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196. Master, welcome home.
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197. Miss Ranko, I love...
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198. pig's feet.
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199. Would you wrap up two pig's worth for me?
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200. Gladly.
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201. That customer's totally after Ranko, isn't he?
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202. He's been at the cafe all the time recently.
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203. Yeah, he's pretty distinctive.
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204. I'll stop by the cafe again.
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205. We eagerly await your return to the pigsty.
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206. What did he give you, Ranko?
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207. Oh, acorns.
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208. What pigs love best!
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209. So this is what pig's feet are like.
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210. Interesting, this texture's a first.
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211. I'm so glad you all came by!
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212. We searched all over the venue but we couldn't
find you on the map and we almost gave up.
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213. May I take a look at that?
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214. Oh, s-sure.
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215. Huh?
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216. Think this might be us?
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217. Does that stand for "outhouse"?
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218. That's why they keep asking for the outhouses.
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219. They really don't give a crap about us.
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220. No wonder no one's coming.
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221. If they're not going to come to us,
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222. we'll just go to them!
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223. Pig's feet from Oinky Doink!
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224. Freshly chopped off pig's feet!
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225. They're hoglicious!
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226. Get your pig's feet!
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227. Pig's feet from Oinky Doink!
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228. My pig's feet!
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229. Nagomi!
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230. Nagomi!
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231. Where's your swine of a manager?
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232. You really suck at life, you know that?
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233. You can't do anything right.
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234. Nothing good has happened
your entire life, remember?
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235. You think so?
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236. They'll figure things out without you there.
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237. They don't need you.
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238. Maybe you're right.
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239. I mean, no one's coming to find you, right?
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240. Just make a run for it.
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241. Yeah...
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242. Maybe I will, after I catch a fish.
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243. We asked where your manager is, bozos.
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244. She's not here.
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245. Is something the matter?
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246. This pighead was walking around
snorting and selling stuff.
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247. You're gonna pay.
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248. Want us to ram pig's feet in your ears
and rattle your molars around?
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249. Zoya!
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250. What? You got a problem?
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251. You're asking for a beating, huh?
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252. Not now.
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253. We're very sorry.
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254. This here pig's smart!
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255. She knows her place in the Moe Moe Hierarchy.
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256. Yumechi...
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257. Hands on the ground.
All of you.
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258. Didn'tcha hear me? Huh?
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259. All right.
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260. Don't!
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261. I did it all on my own!
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262. I'm so very sorry!
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263. You think your groveling means anything, idiot?
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264. Ow!
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265. Come on, hurry the hell up.
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266. Of course.
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267. Yumechi, no!
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268. It's fine.
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269. We're so very sorry.
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270. Here's a hoofprint for ya.
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271. This way, you won't forget your place, hmm?
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272. Don'tcha dare leave your pigsty again.
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273. Pigs are supposed to keep their noses to
the ground and keep rooting around.
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274. That way maybe you'll find
a truffle or something once in a while!
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275. I'm sorry...
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276. I shouldn't have gone and done that.
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277. I don't understand.
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278. If we fight back, they'll close us down for sure this time.
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279. We have to grin and bear it.
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280. No, that's not what I mean.
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281. Why is Oinky Doink at the bottom?
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282. You're all top-notch maids.
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283. Top-notch maids?
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284. Ranko's right!
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285. Yumechi's given up being human in a good way,
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286. Shiipon's crazy hyper and ready to party,
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287. and Zoya's so much better at smiling now.
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288. Ranko's ketchup doodles aren't awful anymore.
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289. And Okachimachi is a real panda!
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290. You're all amazing maids!
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291. Then let's prove it.
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292. How do we do that?
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293. What do you think our pig's feet are for?
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294. Moe moe kyun kyun, moe moe kyun kyun,
moe moe kyun kyun, moe moe kyun kyun!
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295. Moe moe kyun kyun, moe moe kyun kyun,
moe moe kyun kyun, moe moe kyun kyun!
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296. Apparently we have the highest attendance
in the history of the festival.
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297. Is that so?
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298. The maids who contribute to the group
will gain wealth, fame, and power.
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299. Any maids who fail will be cast to the bottom
to serve as a lesson.
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300. Yes!
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301. We've made sure to engrain the Moe Moe Hierarchy
within the maids for the benefit of the group.
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302. As such, the Creatureland Group's
ecosystem is absolute.
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303. It's not just the Creatureland Group.
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304. Akiba itself is a creature that grows
off of people's greed.
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305. Today, I'll prove that I'm at the apex of Akiba.
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306. King of beasts!
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307. King of Akiba!
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308. Rawr rawr!
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309. Win again this year!
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310. Got the guidelines in your head?
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311. We make things look extremely close and
make sure the lions win in the end.
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312. Right, assume we're goners
if we take even a step out of line.
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313. Come on, Moomoo!
You've got to win this year!
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314. We're going for the win, moo!
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315. Moo!
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316. Let's do this, mraww!
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317. Bear!
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318. You all ready?
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319. Yes! Let's win!
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320. Indeed.
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321. They're dead!
Indeed.
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322. We'll show 'em this year's different!
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323. Let's show 'em what pigs are made of!
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324. Okie dokie!
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325. Oinky Doink!
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326. Okay now, Masters and Mistresses,
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327. please cheer them on until your vocal chords
are shredded to the bone.
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328. Once they start running they can't stop.
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329. Anything goes from moe moe to bashity bash.
A festival melee!
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330. The main event!
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331. The Lady Omoe Climb is about to begin!
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332. Moe moe...
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333. Go!
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334. Dazzlion!
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335. Aren't we allowed to go yet?
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336. They sounded the gun.
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337. There's no reason we should have to wait quietly.
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338. Let's go!
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339. This way is open!
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340. Whaddaya think you're doing?
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341. Didn'tcha read the guidelines?
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342. Drill the ecosystem into your heads!
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343. Here comes Oinky Doink!
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344. Dream pig, go go!
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345. Don't think I know that cafe.
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346. Pigs?
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347. What is that?
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348. Why are those pigs...
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349. Comply with the ecosystem!
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350. Let us through!
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351. Stick to the guidelines!
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352. Fucking swine!
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353. Whoa, are you kidding?
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354. Are the underdogs going for it?
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355. D-don't worry!
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356. This doesn't change the fact that the lions will win!
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357. What's going on down there?
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358. We're almost at the top!
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359. You think it's okay for you pigs to be here?
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360. Whatever! Like we care!
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361. Haven't you read it?
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362. Like hell we're gonna read the room!
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363. No, no! Not that!
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364. Just shut the hell up!
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365. Yumechi!
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366. On it!
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367. Even pigs...
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368. Even pigs can climb if you flatter them enough!
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369. Won't you quit that rowdy snorting?
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370. Yumechi!
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371. Good work, lions.
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372. Damn it...
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373. That's it, then?
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374. Whoa, here it comes, here it comes,
here it comes!
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375. My first catch!
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376. Nagomi?
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377. Are you gonna die?
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378. You little...
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379. I'll go!
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380. Nagomi?
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381. Stop! This is for your own good!
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382. Okay! Please just listen!
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383. Back down! I'll give you salmon if you do!
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384. Take that!
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385. Relentless pig...
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386. Just fall already!
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387. You pigs should be selling pig's feet or some crap
at the bottom of the heap!
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388. Here's the pig's foot you wanted, oink.
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389. Ranko!
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390. You're done!
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391. Ranko!
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392. Nagomi, allow me to send you off.
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393. Damn it, you fucking pig!
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394. Go!
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395. Go!
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396. Go!
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397. Go!
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398. Go!
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399. No...
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400. Our ecosystem's going to fall apart.
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401. It's the end...
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402. Looking for a rom-ham-tic time?
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403. Come to Oinky Doink Cafe!
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404. She did it!
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405. A pig took the top!
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406. Yesss!
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407. Pigs? At the top of the ecosystem?
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408. Thank you! Thank you!
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409. It's time to present the winner of
the Lady Omoe Climb.
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410. Our new Lady Omoe maid will stand at the pinnacle
of all Akiba maids for the coming year,
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411. to provide auspicious service to
all of you Masters and Mistresses.
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412. Here to present the auspicious Lady Omoe title
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413. Here to present the auspicious Lady Omoe title
Whew, she's alive.
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414. is the head representative of
the Creatureland Group, Miss Nagi!
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415. Representative?
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416. She's gone and done it now.
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417. The head's gonna take her out.
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418. What a surprising result.
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419. You have plenty of promise.
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420. Thank you so much!
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421. Oinky Doink, congratulations!
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422. Pretty impressive.
Let's check them out sometime.
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423. Whether this maid who became the new Lady Omoe
today is truly worthy of this honor
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424. is a question we will find out soon enough.
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425. Speak.
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426. R-right!
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427. Uh, I'm Nagomi from Oinky Doink Cafe!
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428. Masters, Mistresses,
we eagerly await your return to our pigsty!
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429. Hey, that's one of our maids!
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430. The one who's making the speech now, ours!
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431. I practically raised her!
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432. Another day, another chance to go moe moe kyun
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433. I come to the pigsty for my moe moe kyun
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434. That's the sort of life I lead
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435. Mock me, and you just might bleed
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436. Is the hesitation that wells up
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437. The lingering scent of a humane soul?
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438. Whether you get to live or die
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439. Tread your own path
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440. Have the guts to pull that trigger
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441. Who are you
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442. Show me through the pain
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443. Akiba Creatures Go Wild!
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444. Let the Moe Festivities Begin!
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445. Pig's Feet
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446. Creatureland
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447. Ecosystem Guidelines
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448. Pig's Feet
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449. Pig's Feet
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450. Creatureland
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451. Ecosystem Guidelines
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452. Oinky Doink Cafe
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453. Pig's Feet
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454. Pig's Feet
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455. Akiba Maid Festival
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456. O
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457. Akiba Maid Festival
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458. This Year's
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459. Lady Omoe
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460. This maid's going whole hog, oink!
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461. Okaerinasaimase goshujinsama
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462. Welcome home, Master
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463. Kawaii wa seigi da buu
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464. Kawaii is justice, oink!
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465. Saikou saikyou aashi no make, tension oni age
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466. My makeup's just the bomb, like, O.M.G.!
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467. Yasai mashi mashi karame mashi abura mashi mashi ninniku oome
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468. Ramen, extra veggies, topped with sauce, fat, and garlic aplenty
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469. Okaerinasaimase butagoya e
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470. Welcome home to the pigsty!
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471. Hey! Watashi no maid way! (Fuu!)
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472. Hey! This is my maid way!
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473. Kimi no heart ni Doon! Doon! Doon!
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474. Shot through your heart like, Boom! Boom! Boom!
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475. Anchikushou to cheki cheki cheki
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476. Take an instax with the scumbag
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477. Hey! Meido no princess! (Fuu!)
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478. Hey! Maid princesses from Hell!
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479. Oshite kunnakya Baan! Baan! Baan!
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480. Stan for me or, Blam! Blam! Blam!
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481. Pannier mau daikaiten
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482. Petticoats whirl in a scuffle
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483. Maid kissa de kakurenbo
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484. Hide-and-seek at the maid cafe
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485. Nice okyuuji daiseikyou
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486. Nice service for booming sales
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487. Renai wa no no
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488. Falling in love is a big no-no
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489. Himitsu no hanazono
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490. A cutesy garden of secrets
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491. Kyou mo ashita mo moe moe kyun
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492. Another day, another chance to go moe moe kyun
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493. Butagoya atari de moe moe kyun
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494. I come to the pigsty for my moe moe kyun
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495. Sorega atai no ikizama sa
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496. That's the sort of life I lead
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497. Baka ni suru yatsa chi o miruze
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498. Mock me, and you just might bleed
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499. Mune o yogiru tamerai wa
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500. Is the hesitation that wells up
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501. Hito no kokoro no nokoriga ka
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502. The lingering scent of a humane soul?
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503. Ikirutomo haterutomo
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504. Whether you get to live or die
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505. Onore no michi o tsuranuke
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506. Tread your own path
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507. Hikigane o hiki yagare
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508. Have the guts to pull that trigger
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509. Omae ga dare nanoka
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510. Who are you
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511. Itami de oshietokure
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512. Show me through the pain
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