1. W-wait, hold on!
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2. Blood!
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3. Nagomi, please calm down!
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4. No, no, no!
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5. I'm gonna drown!
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6. Rankooo!
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7. Welcome home, Master
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8. Welcome home, Mistress
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9. Welcome home, Master
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10. Welcome home, Mistress
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11. Welcome home, Master
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12. Omelet fully loaded with chicken and rice
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13. Make it yummy, moe moe kyun
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14. With plenty of milk and plenty of love
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15. Let's cast a spell, moe moe kyun
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16. Seeing sooo many masters here makes me so happy, oink!
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17. Fresh out of Moe Moe Forest
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18. This maid's going whole hog, oink!
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19. Welcome home, Master
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20. Kawaii is justice, oink!
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21. My makeup's just the bomb, like, O.M.G.!
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22. Ramen, extra veggies, topped with sauce, fat, and garlic aplenty
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23. Welcome home to the pigsty!
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24. Hey! This is my maid way!
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25. Shot through your heart like, Boom! Boom! Boom!
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26. Take an instax with the scumbag
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27. Hey! Maid princesses from Hell!
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28. Stan for me or, Blam! Blam! Blam!
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29. Petticoats whirl in a scuffle
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30. Hide-and-seek at the maid cafe
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31. Nice service for booming sales
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32. Falling in love a big no-no
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33. A cutesy garden of secrets
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34. What?
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35. You're going to buy another Oinky Draw ticket?
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36. What a sweet surprise!
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37. Wisdom number one...
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38. Instead of just one person crafting away
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39. With two sets of hands there'll be much more pay
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40. And that, good sir, is the maid way I choose!
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41. Oh, paste away, paste away
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42. Now, wisdom number two...
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43. Um...
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44. Maybe we should stop.
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45. Why?
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46. This song's a total downer.
Why?
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47. This song's a total downer.
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48. Oh, paste away, paste away!
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49. She's still singing.
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50. Chief, how many more do we make?
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51. Each one's 0.5 yen...
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52. So like, a million?
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53. A mi-
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54. It's fine, it's fine!
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55. With five of us on it, it's only 200,000 per person!
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56. You don't wanna give up on the cafe, do you, Nagomi?
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57. Huh?
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58. If we don't pay half a million yen in interest
within the month for our overdue sweets money,
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59. they said we have to close shop.
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60. That's right!
The clock's already ticking!
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61. Now that we're out of ideas, our only chance
is to move our fingers at lightning speed!
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62. Just a million more!
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63. Make these flowers with all you've got!
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64. The towel has already been thrown!
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65. You mean dice, not towel!
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66. Are those new flyers?
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67. They look a little different from before.
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68. Actually, we can't afford to buy ink.
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69. So we're printing them with
as little ink as possible to get by.
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70. Oh, uh...
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71. That's original!
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72. Th-thanks.
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73. Can I ask you something?
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74. Sure, what is it?
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75. What helps bring money into a cafe?
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76. Let's see, I think events are always effective.
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77. Events?
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78. For example, we have Cosmo Melos Day tomorrow
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79. and next week is Kafka Big Bang Week.
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80. Events really help to bring customers in.
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81. Wow, that kind of sounds like fun!
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82. A standard one is the birthday event.
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83. Birthday?
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84. Your cafe is part of the Creatureland Group,
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85. so you might be able to ask an affiliated cafe for help.
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86. A birthday event?
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87. Yes! Does anyone have a birthday coming up?
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88. Count me out.
I don't want to tell you my birthday.
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89. Like anyone gets born around this time of year.
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90. Actually, I turn thirty-six in two days.
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91. In two days?
That's too funny.
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92. You have a birthday, Ranko?
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93. We have no funds!
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94. Use your heads instead of money!
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95. Got that, Ranko?
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96. Understood.
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97. I'll help!
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98. Here, have some grub.
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99. That's all we get again?
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100. It's all we have.
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101. Just be glad it has flavor!
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102. Listen Shiipon, back during the war,
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103. Where are Ranko and Nagomi?
they boiled pumpkin stems and leaves to-
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104. They're planning the event.
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105. Will they make it in time?
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106. I came up with an idea for a flyer.
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107. Wow! Can I see it?
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108. I realize it lacks impact.
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109. Uh no, it has plenty of that!
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110. I also considered some potential activities.
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111. I'm not sure where to insert a coin toss game.
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112. C-coi... tus?
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113. It's way too early for me!
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114. Sure, I'm intrigued and all, but considering my age...
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115. I don't think age has anything to do
with a game involving a coin.
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116. A-anyway! We can't do everything on the list!
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117. Do you suppose not?
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118. Well, let's take a look and consolidate a bit.
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119. I'll narrow down the list.
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120. Um...
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121. If it's feasible, could we get a cake
or something for Ranko?
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122. A cheap one would do.
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123. We're desperately living off stir-fried bean sprouts.
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124. You think we have the funds for that?
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125. B-but if the birthday event is popular...
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126. Popular?
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127. Popular!
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128. Who the heck's gonna come celebrate
Ranko's birthday?
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129. You can do whatever.
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130. Just don't cause any problems for my regulars.
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131. Problems?
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132. I'm the top earner here.
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133. Looking after my masters is what
keeps this place going!
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134. Isn't that right, Chief?
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135. Why of course it is, Lady Yumechi!
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136. Irrelevant maid birthdays should be
done quietly off in the corner!
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137. Irrelevant?
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138. Hold on, Yumechi!
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139. Silence, underling!
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140. If you want to do it, just do it with the two of you!
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141. But keep making flowers!
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142. I told 'er off good, Lady Yumechi.
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143. But...
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144. Okay, hogheads, time to eat some lunch!
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145. Yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk!
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146. That's too funny!
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147. How could they?
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148. Ranko?
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149. You woke up?
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150. Yes, I couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow.
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151. Have you been at it this whole time?
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152. I figured I should at least get the decorations done.
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153. W-wow, that's quite impressive.
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154. Can I help at all?
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155. I appreciate the offer.
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156. But I'm just about finished.
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157. I see.
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158. What can I do...
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159. to get some reservations?
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160. You might be able to ask an affiliated cafe for help.
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161. That's it!
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162. L-let's go.
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163. Woolly fluff!
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164. Welcome home, Mistress!
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165. Oh, n-no!
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166. We're from a sister maid cafe, Oinky Doink Cafe.
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167. Oh wow, a comrade of ours!
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168. Y-yes!
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169. We have an event on from 18:00,
and we were hoping to hand out some flyers.
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170. Miss Kaoruko!
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171. Of course, that's fine.
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172. Oh! Thank you so much!
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173. Actually, we're a little short-staffed right now.
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174. It would really be nice if you could
help out for just a bit.
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175. Of course we can!
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176. Right, Ranko?
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177. If my talents will suffice.
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178. "Suffice?"!
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179. That's so mature!
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180. It's so lively in here!
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181. Indeed.
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182. If even a small percentage of these masters
would stop by on their way home...
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183. E-excuse me!
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184. We're here from the Oinky Doink Cafe.
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185. A birthday event?
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186. Yes!
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187. Ranko here is celebrating her birthday today!
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188. We have an event on from 18:00,
so if you could stop by...
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189. Is something wrong?
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190. Wow! We have the exact same birthday!
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191. Today is my birthday event!
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192. I'm so happy I have the same birthday
as such a lovely fellow maid!
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193. Woolly fluff!
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194. Kaoruko, happy birthday!
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195. Happy birthday!
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196. I-I didn't realize.
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197. Um, I'm very sorry.
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198. How old are you turning, Ranko?
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199. Thirty-six years old.
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200. Thirty-six?
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201. Rat, ox, tiger...
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202. Oh wow! Fifteen years older than me!
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203. You must have so much more experience!
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204. A thirty-six-year-old maid? Yikes!
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205. Talk about ripe!
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206. Oh no, did that make you angry?
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207. No, not at all.
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208. I believe age has nothing to do with being a maid.
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209. Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't listening at all!
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210. Let's go, Ranko.
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211. Oh my, leaving already?
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212. Didn't you want to hand out your flyers?
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213. These black-and-white flyers with super faint ink?
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214. These...
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215. These have originality!
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216. Very muted originality.
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217. That's fine.
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218. I think it's a wonderful flyer that shows
how passionate Ranko is.
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219. We should take our leave now.
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220. I'm sorry.
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221. This is all my fault.
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222. No, I appreciated it.
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223. Thank you, for standing up for me.
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224. Actually, I was really worried that you might get mad,
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225. and go on a rampage.
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226. I don't get angry for my own sake.
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227. If I ever get slightly emotional,
it's only when someone insults the cafe.
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228. The cafe?
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229. Personally, I can't say I'm devoted to
Oinky Doink quite as much yet.
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230. The others are unfriendly...
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231. And honestly, I don't want to have to fight.
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232. I know that maids have to fight, but still...
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233. With turf wars intensifying in Akiba now,
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234. I don't think it's realistic to stick to nonviolence.
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235. Ranko, if you intend to live your life as a maid,
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236. you need to be prepared to take up arms.
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237. So you don't like violence?
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238. It's perfectly fine to be that way.
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239. I once learned...
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240. what you stand to lose unless you fight.
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241. Please excuse me.
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242. Wh-what?
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243. What business do you have?
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244. Filthy pigsty maids!
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245. Think you can get cocky, huh?
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246. I thought fighting within the same group
violates our code.
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247. I guess you just pissed me off.
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248. Won't you come with us for a bit, woolly fluff?
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249. It's no use, I can't get out!
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250. Happy birthday...
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251. little Miss Ranko!
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252. What is the meaning of this?
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253. You just had to have the same birthday as me,
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254. silly Ranko.
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255. B-birthday?
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256. So I'm saying,
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257. we don't need more than
one birthday here in Akiba today.
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258. Don't need?
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259. Everyone was so nice.
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260. The other maids who had the same birthday
all popped and disappeared like pretty bubbles!
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261. Wait, do you mean you killed them all?
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262. Woolly fluff!
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263. It's almost time, isn't it?
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264. Your event, you said it starts at 18:00.
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265. Oh, don't worry!
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266. I'll host your birthday event right here.
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267. Blood?
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268. It's a birthday present from me.
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269. Wow, your birthday and the day that
you die are going to match!
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270. M-my birthday's on April 2nd!
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271. So what?
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272. My birthday won't match the day that I die!
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273. I'm sorry...
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274. Dream of sheep and sleep tight!
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275. W-wait, hold on!
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276. Blood!
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277. Nagomi, please calm down!
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278. No, no, no!
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279. I'm gonna drown!
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280. Rankoooo!
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281. Tomato?
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282. This is tomato juice!
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283. Thank goodness!
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284. What about that is good?
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285. Nooooo!
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286. I put my heart and soul into it.
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287. It's practically glowing with holy light!
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288. Look at the size of that!
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289. Did you really make this?
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290. I did it for her.
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291. Give her a proper celebration.
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292. So we managed to buy a cake.
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293. That's why we lived off of bean sprouts, remember?
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294. For better or for worse,
we still have zero masters here.
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295. Let's hide this cake fast and get ready.
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296. In all honesty, I'm sure we all thought we were busted
with Yumechi's crappy attempt at acting.
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297. I-it's hard trying to act mean!
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298. Anyway!
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299. We're gonna make sure to nail
Ranko's birthday surprise!
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300. Zoya!
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301. Right!
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302. Gotcha person, let's pull this off!
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303. That's not quite it!
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304. Ready, and!
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305. Yes! We made it back up!
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306. We made it!
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307. Do you think we're going to die?
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308. At this rate, we will.
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309. You know, I always wanted to be a maid.
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310. Even though I was worried whether I
have what it takes, I got hired...
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311. Where do you think I went wrong?
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312. I must apologize.
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313. If only I hadn't been born on this day,
thirty-six years ago.
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314. What? Today's the important day you were born!
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315. Don't put yourself down like that!
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316. I don't deserve such kind words.
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317. You see, I was in the joint until just last year.
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318. So the only thing to look forward to for birthdays
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319. was a single donut and cafe au lait provided to us.
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320. In the joint?
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321. Yes.
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322. That's why I was looking forward to
my birthday this year.
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323. J-joint?
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324. Like that kind of joint?
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325. Yes.
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326. Oh, uh, my respects for the time you served.
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327. I'm sorry.
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328. This is all my fault.
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329. No.
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330. On the contrary,
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331. planning the event with you was
a very happy time for me.
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332. Circumstances brought me to the cafe,
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333. but I'm grateful that I got to join Oinky Doink.
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334. Ranko...
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335. Not to worry.
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336. The others will be searching for us.
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337. I really don't think so.
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338. Good evening, I'm Ranko Mannen.
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339. They're late!
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340. Where the heck are those hogs wasting their time?
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341. What's the big idea, being late to their own event?
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342. If they never come back, it'll be too funny.
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343. Then the cake will be for nothing.
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344. O-o-of course that wouldn't happen.
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345. Right?
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346. Yeah, no way in hell I'd let that fly!
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347. Is that them?
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348. Talk about confusing, Okachimachi!
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349. Hey! Did you see Ranko and Nagomi?
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350. What's this?
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351. You mean we should buy ink?
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352. Congratulations, Kaoruko!
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353. Happy Birthday!
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354. Thank you!
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355. Thank you, woolly fluff!
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356. S-so heavy!
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357. Nagomi! Hold your mouth up higher!
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358. I-I'm trying!
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359. Allow me.
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360. R-Ranko?
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361. I'll drink it all down.
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362. What? That's impossible!
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363. Ranko, I lied earlier.
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364. Actually, I am glad I got to be a maid,
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365. that I got to join Oinky Doink.
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366. Nagomi?
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367. Nagomi!
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368. Miss Kaoruko,
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369. we apparently broke a revenue record today!
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370. Of course! It was my birthday, after all!
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371. Are you out of your minds?
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372. We're affiliated!
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373. Like we care?
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374. There's a surprise birthday at stake here!
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375. Who are you?
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376. We don't have the money to buy ink!
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377. What?
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378. Bring out Ranko and Nagomi, damn it!
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379. You want our cake to go to waste?
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380. Damn swine...
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381. Sounds like you want to be ground into mince.
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382. Can it! We're friggin' pissed!
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383. I won't let our days of eating only
beansprouts be for nothing!
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384. I'm holding you all accountable.
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385. We'll show you what happens
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386. when you take a pig lightly!
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387. Hello, tomatoes, do you want to play?
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388. Aw, you're so cute!
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389. Gaahhhh!
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390. There!
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391. Nagomi!
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392. Nagomi!
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393. Nagomi?
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394. Ranko!
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395. You both alive? Let's go!
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396. You caused us a major hassle, man!
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397. We get out of here, now.
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398. I... I'm so sorry...
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399. Bloooood!
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400. Nagomi, are you all right?
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401. Nagomi?
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402. So, like, what do we do about this?
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403. What the hell do I care?
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404. They had it coming to them.
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405. Y-you're finished, the lot of you.
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406. Th-the Creatureland Group won't let this slide.
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407. They'll end your cafe,
and you can die in the gutter, swine!
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408. Are you kidding me?
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409. You scumbags kidnapped the
two of them in the first place!
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410. Me or that maid...
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411. Who do you think offers more value to the group?
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412. I'm saying that shabby old bag
doesn't cut it as a maid!
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413. I'm the one the group needs!
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414. That shitty maid can't hope to bring in customers-
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415. Who you calling shabby?
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416. There are no shitty maids, not in our cafe.
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417. A very happy birthday to you.
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418. A maid missing out on her own event?
It's unbelievable!
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419. I apologize.
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420. No, I'm the one-
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421. If you wanna apologize, say it to the chief first!
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422. She ended up managing the whole thing by herself.
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423. Hurry and get inside first.
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424. O-okay...
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425. Oh, the lights...
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426. Happy birthday to you!
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427. Happy birthday to you!
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428. Happy birthday dear Ranko
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429. Happy birthday to you!
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430. Happy 36th birthday!
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431. Everyone!
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432. Why are you crying, Nagomi?
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433. I-I'm not crying!
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434. The cake is smaller!
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435. Yo...
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436. Dipshit...
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437. No, you've got it wrong!
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438. You went and ate it?
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439. Pull what you ate outta your gut!
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440. I didn't eat any!
You kidding me?
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441. No, it was a taste test, y'know?
For poison!
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442. Today, for the first time,
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443. I've found that there are people in this town...
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444. who I truly cherish.
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445. Kirakira kawaiku zettai! Kirameku watashi ni shoutai!
Sparkly and cute to the prime! Come to me I'm sublime!
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446. Zendai mimon no showtime! Understand?
Unprecedented showtime! Understand?
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447. Kokokara hajimaru Cinderella story
This is where my Cinderella story starts, right here
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448. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
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449. Suteki na lady no how to
Here's how to become a lady with charms
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450. Kagami ni tonaeruno
Look in the mirror, chant a spell
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451. Smart ni? Elegance ni?
You have to be smart and elegant too
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452. Nanoni real dewa chou magyaku
But in reality I'm completely different
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453. Doushiyou!
What do I do?
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454. Aa koi ni yume ni yokubari ga tomaranai
Oh, romance and dreams, I want it all
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455. Ochikomu hima nante gozaimasen!
I don't have the time to be feeling down
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456. Datte maid in onnanoko
Becuase I'm "maid" to be a girl
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457. Tsumari ichi ni aikyou ni ni dokyou san ni benkyou
Which means, be caring, be daring, and be persevering
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458. Nanchatte
Or whatever
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459. Dareyorimo happy na jinsei ni non-stop mou dash
To have the happiest life, it's a non-stop mad dash
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460. Kyou koso shuyaku ni step up!
Today I step up to become the lead!
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461. Wh-wh-wh-where did you get this?
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462. No, I'm not going to ask.
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463. Kamisama onegai!
So please, God!
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464. Mugendai! Hajiketai!
Unlimited! Wanna go wild!
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465. What goes around comes around, you know?
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466. Onnanoko dakara
'Cause I'm a girl after all
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467. So it's fine?
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468. You're okay with this?
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469. 'Cuz I'm not giving it back!
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470. Itsumo shijou saikou o koushin
Every day is an all-time high
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471. You're great! Such a great panda!
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472. Ichinenjuu ga anniversary nano
Fresh new anniversaries all year round
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473. You could make it up in Ueno!
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474. Your practically Ueno, Okachimachi!
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475. Souteigai no trouble datte joyful
Even the unexpected is joyful
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476. Zenbu ga romance o hikitateru spice
Something that spices up romance
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477. Oh, those are the proceeds from Maid Sheep.
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478. Junbi wa dekitemasu
I'm all ready to go
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479. Maid Sheep?
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480. Yes, sorry.
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481. Hai! Shinumade isshou onnanoko sengen
Yes! I declare I'm a girl for life, 'til I die!
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482. We went and wiped out Maid Sheep.
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483. Dokidoki de harahara de
So exciting, what a thrill!
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484. Mainichi busy! Oh my god!
Every day busy, oh my god!
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485. Kirakira de wakuwaku de
So much sparkle, heart a-glow!
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486. Kimochi wa eien ni seventeen
Inside I always feel seventeen
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487. Dokidoki de harahara de
So exciting, what a thrill!
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488. Meiwaku sorry! Goaikyou!
Sorry for the trouble, it's part of the fun!
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489. Kirakira de wakuwaku de
So much sparkle, heart a-glow!
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490. Subete ni koisuru pretty heart!
A pretty heart does it all!
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491. Aishite
Love me do!
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492. Drowning in Red!
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493. A 36th Birthday Celebration!
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494. Some cute little pigs live in this brick
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495. house we call Oinky Doink Cafe.
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496. In order to become the finest Iberico pork,
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497. our little piggies eagerly await
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498. all you masters and mistresses.
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499. Oinky Doink Cafe
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500. Oinky Doink Cafe
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501. Ranko Mannen's Birthday Celebration
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502. In what we realize are busy times,
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503. we nonetheless invite you to find the time
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504. and join us for this occasion.
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505. Doors open May 9th at 18:00
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506. Oinky Doink Cafe
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507. •Coin magic •Animal impressions •Solo shiritori
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508. •Voice-delay ventriloquism •Card magic •American duck
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509. impression •Drink juice from a cup with no hands •Impressions
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510. •Juggling •Groveling hot towel •Tablecloth pull •Air chair squat
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511. •Humiliating belly dance •Magic tricks •Regurgitation trick
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512. •The Human Dance •Loach Scooping Dance •Nankin-tamasudare
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513. •Hanafuda fishing •Hanafuda roppyakken •Hanafuda oichokabu
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514. •Sic bo •Cho-han •Chinchirorin •Choboichi
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515. •Tehonbiki •Tabu •A skit •Bonodori dance
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516. PRIZES?
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517. Oinky Doink Cafe
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518. Happy Birthday
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519. Birthday Celebration
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520. Birthday Celebration
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521. Reservations
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522. Maid Sheep
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523. Maid Sheep
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524. Maid Teahouse
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525. Happy Birthday
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526. Ranko!
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527. Ranko Mannen's Birthday Celebration
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528. Maid Cafe & Bar
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529. Maid Sheep
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530. Masters and Mistresses, why not come to Maid Sheep
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531. for a soothing woolly fluffy time with us?
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532. Our cute little lambs will delight you with impressive performances
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533. and tons of delicious food made with love!
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534. Maid Sheep
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535. Okaerinasaimase goshujinsama
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536. Welcome home, Master
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537. Okaerinasaimase ojousama
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538. Welcome home, Mistress
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539. Okaerinasaimase goshujinsama
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540. Welcome home, Master
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541. Ranchiki tappuri omuraisu
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542. Omelet fully loaded with chicken and rice
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543. Oishikunaare moe moe kyun
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544. Make it yummy, moe moe kyun
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545. Milk tappuri aijou tappuri
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546. With plenty of milk and plenty of love
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547. Mahou o kakemasho moe moe kyun
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548. Let's cast a spell, moe moe kyun
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549. Kyou mo takkusan goshujinsama
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550. Seeing sooo many masters here
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551. Ga kite kurete shiawase ippai da buu
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552. Makes me so happy, oink!
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553. Moe moe no mori kara kimashita
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554. Fresh out of Moe Moe Forest
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555. Tokoton ganbaru maid da buu
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556. This maid's going whole hog, oink!
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557. Okaerinasaimase goshujinsama
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558. Welcome home, Master
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559. Kawaii wa seigi da buu
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560. Kawaii is justice, oink!
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561. Saikou saikyou aashi no make, tension oni age
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562. My makeup's just the bomb, like, O.M.G.!
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563. Yasai mashi mashi karame mashi abura mashi mashi ninniku oome
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564. Ramen, extra veggies, topped with sauce, fat, and garlic aplenty
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565. Okaerinasaimase butagoya e
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566. Welcome home to the pigsty!
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567. Hey! Watashi no maid way! (Fuu!)
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568. Hey! This is my maid way!
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569. Kimi no heart ni Doon! Doon! Doon!
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570. Shot through your heart like, Boom! Boom! Boom!
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571. Anchikushou to cheki cheki cheki
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572. Take an instax with the scumbag
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573. Hey! Meido no princess! (Fuu!)
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574. Hey! Maid princesses from Hell!
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575. Oshite kunnakya Baan! Baan! Baan!
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576. Stan for me or, Blam! Blam! Blam!
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577. Pannier mau daikaiten
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578. Petticoats whirl in a scuffle
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579. Maid kissa de kakurenbo
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580. Hide-and-seek at the maid cafe
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581. Nice okyuuji daiseikyou
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582. Nice service for booming sales
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583. Renai wa no no
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584. Falling in love is a big no-no
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585. Himitsu no hanazono
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586. A cutesy garden of secrets
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