1. Keep being funny.Copy !req
2. Tell jokes... at the funeral,
or at the party after.Copy !req
3. There'd better be a party after.Copy !req
4. You're always funny at parties.
You always get drunk and overexcited.Copy !req
5. Running around like a fat, little
annoying Santa with your rosy cheeks,Copy !req
6. making everyone laugh.Copy !req
7. Then you have a sort of spiritual hangover
the next day,Copy !req
8. worried you'd offended so and so.Copy !req
9. You never had, though.Copy !req
10. You just made 'em laugh.Copy !req
11. Just keep being funny.
You're a lovely man.Copy !req
12. You all right, George?Copy !req
13. What's the matter?Copy !req
14. Robbie hit me.Copy !req
15. Why?Copy !req
16. He always does, every day.Copy !req
17. Which one's Robbie?Copy !req
18. - Stop it!
- The one with the branch?Copy !req
19. Are you Robbie?Copy !req
20. - Yeah.
- Robbie, come here.Copy !req
21. Listen up, right?Copy !req
22. I'm an escaped lunatic,Copy !req
23. and I like murdering little fat kids
like you,Copy !req
24. so if you hit George or anyone else,
I'm gonna come to your house—Copy !req
25. I know where you live—Copy !req
26. and while you're asleep, I'm gonna smash
your stupid head in with this hammer.Copy !req
27. Do you understand?Copy !req
28. I just threatened a ten-year-old kid
with a hammer.Copy !req
29. They've gotta learn.Copy !req
30. He was bullying George, and I saidCopy !req
31. I'd murder him in his sleep
if he did it again.Copy !req
32. - Oh... Hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
33. He's going to murder a kid with a hammerCopy !req
34. if it doesn't behave.Copy !req
35. So did you...
go on your date, then?Copy !req
36. Yeah.Copy !req
37. Was it a success?Copy !req
38. No, it was... awful...Copy !req
39. - awkward... just the worst.Copy !req
40. The one good thing about my life is
that I never have to do that shit again.Copy !req
41. Oh, I know what you mean.Copy !req
42. You know, I'm genuinely happy on my own.Copy !req
43. Just me and the dog.Copy !req
44. - Me and my cat.
- Exactly.Copy !req
45. When the dog goes, and him,Copy !req
46. I'll have no responsibility
for anything ever again.Copy !req
47. I can do what I like.Copy !req
48. Mm-hm.Copy !req
49. Well, you'll never have
to come here again, so...Copy !req
50. - Right.
- Okay.Copy !req
51. - I've gotta—
- Yeah.Copy !req
52. - See you.
- See you later.Copy !req
53. Valerie, erm...Copy !req
54. call me when my girlfriend
gets here, please.Copy !req
55. But you'll see her.Copy !req
56. What?Copy !req
57. Yeah, just call me, huh?Copy !req
58. She's bringing me a treat.Copy !req
59. Women.Copy !req
60. Bloody love 'em though.Copy !req
61. Oh, hey. How was the date?Copy !req
62. The worst.Copy !req
63. - Oh no.
- Yeah.Copy !req
64. - I thought you'd have so much in common.
- Well, she didn't want to be there,Copy !req
65. she drank like a fish,
swore like a trooper,Copy !req
66. err, she was narcissistic, rude.Copy !req
67. Yeah, exactly.Copy !req
68. Good one. Luckily, I got it in first
that I didn't want to be there either,Copy !req
69. and that I miss my wife, and that...Copy !req
70. I wanna kill myself.Copy !req
71. And then she teased me
that I couldn't commit suicideCopy !req
72. as well as her dead husband.Copy !req
73. - Sounds brilliant.
- Yeah.Copy !req
74. Then I tried to knock a couple of muggers
off a moped.Copy !req
75. Stole their hammer.Copy !req
76. You were mugged again?Copy !req
77. No.Copy !req
78. A woman was—Copy !req
79. But as they went past me.Copy !req
80. I've always wanted to knock a twat
off a motorbike.Copy !req
81. I hate the way they rev up
for no reason.Copy !req
82. The fact they were muggers was a bonus.
It sort of justified it.Copy !req
83. And what d'you mean,
you stole their hammer?Copy !req
84. I confiscated it, really.
They dropped it, so I thought,Copy !req
85. "I'll have that."Copy !req
86. It's a good one as well,
so not a complete waste of an evening.Copy !req
87. Good.Copy !req
88. Can I just talk to you
about something a sec?Copy !req
89. Yeah.Copy !req
90. Did you hear about Julian?Copy !req
91. - The guy who distributes the newspapers.
- Yeah.Copy !req
92. He was found dead this morning.Copy !req
93. From an overdose, heroin.Copy !req
94. Yep.Copy !req
95. It's so sad. I didn't even...Copy !req
96. I— I had no idea.Copy !req
97. I gave him the money.Copy !req
98. For what?Copy !req
99. For drugs.Copy !req
100. Yeah, but you couldn't have known
that he would overdose, though.Copy !req
101. Well...Copy !req
102. - Fuck's sake, Tony.
- What?Copy !req
103. Don't say that.
Don't even joke about things like that.Copy !req
104. What? Why? What's...Copy !req
105. Because you're the godfather to my son.Copy !req
106. - Right—
- Because you're not a fucking psychopath.Copy !req
107. - Okay.
- Why would you say—Copy !req
108. Why would you even tell me that?Copy !req
109. You didn't know.Copy !req
110. - Just tell me you didn't know.
- Right. I couldn't know...Copy !req
111. - Right.
- ... it was gonna...Copy !req
112. you know, work.Copy !req
113. Work? Are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
114. He was a heroin addict, okay?
That's what he did.Copy !req
115. Right? It's what he wanted, obviously.Copy !req
116. - So—
- Tell me that you didn't knowCopy !req
117. that he was gonna kill himself, or I'm not
gonna let you see George again, okay?Copy !req
118. I didn't know.Copy !req
119. Obviously not.Copy !req
120. Okay.Copy !req
121. You didn't— Yeah, you didn't know.Copy !req
122. Here she is.Copy !req
123. - Who?
- My bird.Copy !req
124. - My bird.
- Come in. Take a seat.Copy !req
125. - Bread pudding delivery.
- Lovely. Thanks, love.Copy !req
126. Um, everyone, it's my girlfriend, June.
June, everyone.Copy !req
127. - Hello.
- Hi, June.Copy !req
128. So... what's it like going out with...Copy !req
129. that?
It's lovely.Copy !req
130. - Is it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
131. What do you mean?Copy !req
132. He's good with my boy.Copy !req
133. - Right.
- Got a lot in common,Copy !req
134. - my two little fatties.
- Oh.Copy !req
135. I love it when
they fight over Creme Eggs.Copy !req
136. - Not fighting.
- You do.Copy !req
137. No, he's just— He gets a bit grabby.Copy !req
138. Ahh. He tells me you were attracted
to his style even before his personality.Copy !req
139. - Yeah.
- Wow.Copy !req
140. - Love everything about him.
- Right.Copy !req
141. Especially his body.Copy !req
142. Really?Copy !req
143. Wh-wh-why?Copy !req
144. Why? What's—Copy !req
145. He's 'ot.
'Ot?Copy !req
146. Yeah, like his body temperature's warm,
like hot to the touch.Copy !req
147. - Oh, right.
- So when he's naked, it's like cuddlingCopy !req
148. - a big baby.
- Oh.Copy !req
149. And his skin's dead smooth
when he gets out the bath.Copy !req
150. Very cuddly, yeah.Copy !req
151. And have you noticed
the roll of, um...Copy !req
152. flab on his neck?Copy !req
153. - Back fat?
- No, not back fat,Copy !req
154. but we'll come back to that, thank you.Copy !req
155. Um, no. Next time he's lying naked,Copy !req
156. just grab the back of his neck.
Or get on him, if you like.Copy !req
157. Sit on him,
grab the roll of fat on his back there,Copy !req
158. and blump him around the room
like a biiiig space hopper.Copy !req
159. - That'd be good.
- Don't want to hurt him, do I?Copy !req
160. - No. You just wanna cudd— I know.Copy !req
161. Wanna see a sexy picture of him
just out the bath?
- Yes, please, June.
- I've got one 'ere.Copy !req
162. You should probably...
head off, love, shouldn't you?Copy !req
163. - Yeah.
- Well, come back any time, though,Copy !req
164. 'cause we're a local paper,
so we need sort of... Ahhh!Copy !req
165. We need sort of local interest stories
like this.Copy !req
166. - Ah, I forgot the custard.
- Not to worry.Copy !req
167. Okay, next time, though.Copy !req
168. - Never mind.
- Yeah, all right. See you, love.Copy !req
169. - Thanks for...
- See you later.Copy !req
170. Nice to meet you all.Copy !req
171. - Nice to meet you.
- Lovely to meet you. Cheers.Copy !req
172. - Ta-ra.
- Thanks for the pud.
You're welcome!Copy !req
173. - Fuckin' hell.
- You make a lovely couple.Copy !req
174. Cheers.Copy !req
175. Someone for everyone, isn't there?Copy !req
176. Thanks.Copy !req
177. She's brilliant, mate.Copy !req
178. Cheers.Copy !req
179. - Oh.
- Hi.Copy !req
180. Hi. Twice in one day?Copy !req
181. - Somebody's popular.
- It's just a slow workday, so—Copy !req
182. - Wish I had a slow workday.
- You busy?Copy !req
183. Err... Yeah, just a bit.Copy !req
184. Just... Well, have a sit down.Copy !req
185. - That's all I've got.Copy !req
186. God.Copy !req
187. - Okay, back to work.Copy !req
188. - Bye!
- Bye.Copy !req
189. Well,
I didn't breastfeed this time,Copy !req
190. not convenient.Copy !req
191. Obviously, I was still lactating,
so I thought, "Waste not, want not,"Copy !req
192. so I expressed...Copy !req
193. and started making rice puddings.Copy !req
194. - Out of your breast milk?
- Good idea.Copy !req
195. It's more natural,
if you think about it, isn't it?Copy !req
196. For people to eat a pudding
made from human milk.Copy !req
197. That's what we're used to, isn't it?Copy !req
198. Well, when we're babies maybe.Copy !req
199. So I kept expressing—Copy !req
200. And making... rice puddings.Copy !req
201. Do other people eat these?Copy !req
202. Yeah, they lap it up.
And they know it's your breast milk?Copy !req
203. Yeah.Copy !req
204. Who eats these?Copy !req
205. Mr. Crosby at number five.Copy !req
206. He can't get enough.Copy !req
207. - I mean, I can't make huge puddings.
- Sure.Copy !req
208. Sometimes I have to top it up
with cow's milk.Copy !req
209. Right.Copy !req
210. Anyway, do you want to try?Copy !req
211. Nah. We're fine, thank you—Copy !req
212. Oh. Oh, God!Copy !req
213. - Are you okay?Copy !req
214. No, it's the sight of him just...Copy !req
215. slurping it up like a fat...Copy !req
216. fuckin' Labrador.Copy !req
217. Oh, god.Copy !req
218. It's—Copy !req
219. Oh, God.Copy !req
220. Change the subject.Copy !req
221. So for the bread,
I use my own vaginal yeast.Copy !req
222. Thank you.Copy !req
223. You never need to use
your own vaginal yeast to make bread.Copy !req
224. If you're making bread,
"Oh, we've run out of yeast.Copy !req
225. Oh, I know. I can use— Forget it.Copy !req
226. I'll go to the shops.
We'll get a lovely loaf."Copy !req
227. You've still got the fuckin' milk
around your mouth.Copy !req
228. Oh, you pig.Copy !req
229. I've got to walk the dog.
I'll see you later.Copy !req
230. All right?Copy !req
231. - Yeah.
- Been waiting for you.Copy !req
232. Why?
Postcard.Copy !req
233. - Who's that from?
- You, obviously.Copy !req
234. What's it say?Copy !req
235. - You know what it says.
- Go on.Copy !req
236. "To Pat. Stop reading my postcards,
you nosy, scruffy cunt."Copy !req
237. Not very nice, is it?Copy !req
238. It's not addressed to you, is it?
It's addressed to me.Copy !req
239. Yeah, but you knew I'd read it.Copy !req
240. And that's my point.Copy !req
241. Good girl. Come on.Copy !req
242. I'm always angry.Copy !req
243. Yeah.Copy !req
244. I hate the fact that people think...Copy !req
245. they can get away with being shit,
you know?Copy !req
246. I was wound up the other dayCopy !req
247. by a woman walking along the street
next to me,Copy !req
248. and she was shuffling.
She wouldn't pick her—Copy !req
249. Pick your fuckin' feet up.Copy !req
250. Has no one ever told you
how to fuckin' walk?Copy !req
251. You're an adult.Copy !req
252. I wanted to punch a bloke
in the cafe yesterdayCopy !req
253. for yawning too loudly.Copy !req
254. He was doing this...Copy !req
255. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
256. No one cares.Copy !req
257. It's like celebrating being tired.Copy !req
258. We all get irritated by things, okay?Copy !req
259. I hate people who eat the ice
in their gin and tonics.Copy !req
260. So do I.Copy !req
261. But I bet your first thought isn't,
"I hope he chokes on that,Copy !req
262. and as he's on the floor gasping for air,Copy !req
263. I wanna lean in and go,Copy !req
264. "That's what you get for eating ice,
you fuckin' moron."Copy !req
265. No, it isn't.Copy !req
266. Welcome to the contents of my head.Copy !req
267. Excuse me.Copy !req
268. - Spare a moment for homeless children?
- Sorry, no.Copy !req
269. Oh, don't care about children
in poverty then?Copy !req
270. Not at the moment.
I've got bigger problems.Copy !req
271. Do bigger problems exist
than the desperate poverty of a child?Copy !req
272. Sorry, I thought me saying I was busy
was enough.Copy !req
273. What's the guilt tripping?
And don't give me this altruism shit.Copy !req
274. You're not a volunteer.
Everyone knows you're getting paid.Copy !req
275. You don't give a fuck about the charity
or poverty-stricken kids. You want money.Copy !req
276. I'd effectively be paying your wages,
you wiry, little twat.Copy !req
277. Four-eyes!Copy !req
278. Oh.Copy !req
279. Please can I be in the paper?Copy !req
280. For what?Copy !req
281. Me.Copy !req
282. - My story.
- What story?Copy !req
283. I've got stories.Copy !req
284. You'll do stories about anything in here,
won't you?Copy !req
285. What was it last week,
"Woman Finds Hat in a Tree"?Copy !req
286. Please...Copy !req
287. come and have a look at my home.Copy !req
288. - Why?
- This is just the tip of the iceberg.Copy !req
289. You don't know.Copy !req
290. No, I believe you.Copy !req
291. It's a tr— trevor tro— treasure trove.Copy !req
292. - Easy for you to say.
- Collected loads of things over the years.Copy !req
293. Memorabilia and trophies and...Copy !req
294. my exploits.Copy !req
295. If you're not convinced, I promise
I'll never darken your door again.Copy !req
296. So if we come and look at your house,Copy !req
297. you'll never bother us—Copy !req
298. Never. No.Copy !req
299. It'll make my year.Copy !req
300. D'you wanna go have a look?Copy !req
301. Yeah.Copy !req
302. Please bring the new girl.Copy !req
303. D'you want to watch us cover this story?Copy !req
304. - Yeah. All right.
- Yeah?Copy !req
305. Here we go.Copy !req
306. Here we are.Copy !req
307. - Fuckin' hell.
- Come in.Copy !req
308. This is the dining room.Copy !req
309. Okay, come through.Copy !req
310. This is what I've been talking about.
This is...Copy !req
311. Questions?Copy !req
312. What's that smell?Copy !req
313. Which one?Copy !req
314. Like a clawing thing
in the back of the throat.Copy !req
315. - Back of the throat. Dead mice.
- Yeah—Copy !req
316. Back of the room. Back corner.
Basically, I put some traps thereCopy !req
317. a couple of years ago,
and I can't get to them, so...Copy !req
318. Any other questions?Copy !req
319. - What are they?
- Cockroaches.Copy !req
320. I collect them.Copy !req
321. Basically, these little fellas are um—Copy !req
322. - Don't open it.
- Okay.Copy !req
323. My rule is, if you come onto my property,
then I own you.Copy !req
324. Okay?
Question three?Copy !req
325. - How long have you been doing this?
- Ooh.
When did my wife leave me?Copy !req
326. Seven years.Copy !req
327. Seven years ago. I just thought I could
do what I like with the place.Copy !req
328. So I just went for it.Copy !req
329. Yeah, which brings me to my next question,Copy !req
330. - and don't take this the wrong way...
- No.Copy !req
331. Why have you never considered suicide?Copy !req
332. I have.Copy !req
333. And why... didn't you go through with it?Copy !req
334. Because I decided it was too good for me.Copy !req
335. Wow.Copy !req
336. That's what you're dealing with.Copy !req
337. - Cup of tea?
- Definitely not.Copy !req
338. Okay.Copy !req
339. Brian, this isn't right for a local paper.
How can I do a—Copy !req
340. There's no story here, mate.Copy !req
341. Can I stay and try and find one?Copy !req
342. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
343. Okay.Copy !req
344. See you later.Copy !req
345. - Cheers, Brian.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Bye.Copy !req
346. Where are you going?Copy !req
347. - I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
348. Don't leave her with him.Copy !req
349. - It stinks.
- Yeah.Copy !req
350. What d'you wanna know?
Where'd you wanna go?Copy !req
351. Just show me
what you've got, really.Copy !req
352. What I've got?
What haven't I got?Copy !req
353. Okay, thank you. Yeah.Copy !req
354. No, thanks for letting me know.Copy !req
355. Hello, everybody! Hello!Copy !req
356. Hello, everybody! Hello.Copy !req
357. Say hello, everybody.Copy !req
358. - Hello.
- Hello.Copy !req
359. Hello, Mr. Punch.Copy !req
360. Hello, Mrs. Punch.
What are you up to?Copy !req
361. Oh, nothing much. Nothing much.Copy !req
362. Yes, you have.
You've been shagging Mickey the Gypsy.Copy !req
363. No, I haven't.Copy !req
364. Yes, you have.Copy !req
365. Ooh, calm down, Brian.Copy !req
366. Calm down?
You're telling me to calm down?Copy !req
367. Huh? You've made me a laughing stock
around the village,Copy !req
368. and she's telling me to calm down.Copy !req
369. She's been shagging anything that moves.Copy !req
370. For 18 months, she's shagging
Mickey the Gypsy down Green Lane.Copy !req
371. My wife is a slut. There's your headline.Copy !req
372. "My Wife's a Slut."Copy !req
373. This woman has destroyed me.
Yes, please, take a picture. Thank you.Copy !req
374. Tony, can I have a word?Copy !req
375. - Now?
- Yeah, now.Copy !req
376. Shut the door.Copy !req
377. Sit down.Copy !req
378. I just had a phone call from the school.Copy !req
379. Not as a story or anything,
but as a parent.Copy !req
380. Apparently, a middle-aged man
threatened a ten-year-old childCopy !req
381. with a hammer today.Copy !req
382. You threatened a child
with a fucking hammer.Copy !req
383. Who told you it was me?Copy !req
384. Nobody. They don't know it was you.Copy !req
385. I know it was you
'cause I've seen the fucking hammer.Copy !req
386. He was bullying George.Copy !req
387. What the fuck is wrong with you, Tony?
I can't—Copy !req
388. I can take all the insults, you know,
the lateness.Copy !req
389. Fill your boots with that shit,
but you can't—Copy !req
390. If you carry on like this,
people are gonna get hurt, right?Copy !req
391. - And it's not gonna be George.
- I know.Copy !req
392. I was trying to stop George getting hurt.Copy !req
393. I get enough grief from Jill as it is,Copy !req
394. letting George see you, but I do itCopy !req
395. because I know it makes you happy,Copy !req
396. but I can't risk that anymore.
Do you understand?Copy !req
397. - I'm fucked up.
- You're not fuck— that's not good enough.Copy !req
398. That is not good enough, Tony.Copy !req
399. That's letting yourself
off the hook again.Copy !req
400. People who are fucked up
don't choose to be like that.Copy !req
401. You're doing this on purpose.
You know what you're doing.Copy !req
402. This is the worst thing you've done.Copy !req
403. I don't even know
what you're fighting anymore.Copy !req
404. I don't get this, okay?
There is no enemy in this story.Copy !req
405. This is— You're just doing this
to yourself.Copy !req
406. I'm in pain, all right?
I'm in fucking pain all the time,Copy !req
407. and I do shit like this...Copy !req
408. 'cause it makes me
feel better for a split second.Copy !req
409. Other people are in pain as well.
Other people have shit going on.Copy !req
410. Other people have things
they need to deal with.Copy !req
411. I just want to be out of pain.Copy !req
412. Either live without pain
or die without pain,Copy !req
413. whichever one comes first.Copy !req
414. - I choose that, all right?
- Okay, listen to me.Copy !req
415. If you're saying to me
that you can't be trusted,Copy !req
416. that you're not accountable
for your actions, then that's fine,Copy !req
417. if that's what you're saying.Copy !req
418. But that means
that you don't get to see George.Copy !req
419. Because if you're saying I have to choose
between the safety of my son...Copy !req
420. and you,Copy !req
421. then I choose my son every fucking time.
Do you understand me?Copy !req
422. It doesn't even come close.Copy !req
423. - I'd never do anything to hurt George.
- Look what you've done already.Copy !req
424. I know.Copy !req
425. I won't do anything like this again.Copy !req
426. Well, let's see, okay?Copy !req
427. What was it like?Copy !req
428. - Absolutely mental.
- Why?Copy !req
429. It's just full of shit.Copy !req
430. Just old shit.Copy !req
431. He did a puppet show!Copy !req
432. - Puppet show?
- Yeah, like an actual puppet show.Copy !req
433. How are you even gonna deal with that?Copy !req
434. It's quite sad.Copy !req
435. Excited to start it.Copy !req
436. Why is it empty?Copy !req
437. What d'you mean?Copy !req
438. Well, usually, there's like a... romantic
scene or a castle or something inside.Copy !req
439. Yeah. This is one of them
that you're meant to putCopy !req
440. a photo of a loved one in, but...Copy !req
441. I haven't met anyone, though.Copy !req
442. Fuck me.Copy !req
443. Put something in it.Copy !req
444. Picture of your cat,Copy !req
445. something you love.Copy !req
446. What d'you love?
Loads of stuff.Copy !req
447. Go on.
Go on what?Copy !req
448. What d'you mean "Go on what"?Copy !req
449. What?Copy !req
450. I said, "Go on,"Copy !req
451. and you said, "Go on what?"Copy !req
452. You haven't heard the phrase, "go on,"Copy !req
453. as in expound,Copy !req
454. give me some examples?Copy !req
455. - No.
- No?Copy !req
456. Okay.Copy !req
457. Give me some examples of things you love.Copy !req
458. Having a laugh.Copy !req
459. - Really?
- Yeah!Copy !req
460. You've seen the birthday cards
I buy people.Copy !req
461. Funny memes I show around on Twitter.Copy !req
462. Kevin Hart.Copy !req
463. - Fancy seeing you here.
- Oh.Copy !req
464. - You all right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
465. Good.
Erm...Copy !req
466. I need some advice.Copy !req
467. I wanted to kill myself.Copy !req
468. And when I couldn't, or hadn't,Copy !req
469. I thought, "Okay.Copy !req
470. If I'm gonna do this
carrying on living thing,Copy !req
471. it's gonna be on my terms,
I'm gonna do what I want,Copy !req
472. and I've always got suicide
to fall back on."Copy !req
473. Got to have a backup.Copy !req
474. Exactly.Copy !req
475. But it didn't go to plan.Copy !req
476. Erm...Copy !req
477. At first,
I thought it was like a superpower.Copy !req
478. I can do anything. Who cares?Copy !req
479. What's the worst that can happen?Copy !req
480. Nothing can hurt me because I can
always kill myself, you know? And...Copy !req
481. But then...Copy !req
482. I realized you can't...Copy !req
483. You can't not care about things
you actually care about.Copy !req
484. You can't fool yourself and...Copy !req
485. And, err...Copy !req
486. it was something you said,
that it's not all about me,Copy !req
487. and even though I'm in pain,Copy !req
488. it's worth...Copy !req
489. sticking around to maybe...Copy !req
490. make my...Copy !req
491. little corner of the world
a slightly better place.Copy !req
492. That's all there is.Copy !req
493. Happiness is amazing.Copy !req
494. It's so amazing,
it doesn't matter if it's yours or not.Copy !req
495. There's that lovely thing,Copy !req
496. "A society grows great
when old men plant trees,Copy !req
497. the shade of which they know
they will never sit in."Copy !req
498. Good people do things for other people.Copy !req
499. That's it. The end.Copy !req
500. And you're good, Tony.Copy !req
501. You have so much to give.Copy !req
502. Smart...Copy !req
503. fun...
lovely.Copy !req
504. You forgot "sexy," but...Copy !req
505. Yeah, well,Copy !req
506. didn't want to be too obvious.Copy !req
507. - If you were 20 years younger, right?
- Exactly.Copy !req
508. Mind you, if I was 20 years younger,
I think I could do better.Copy !req
509. - Yeah, definitely.Copy !req
510. Ah.Copy !req
511. All right, I'm off.Copy !req
512. Bye.Copy !req
513. - See you tomorrow.
- See ya.Copy !req
514. - See ya.
- Bye.Copy !req
515. - Tony.
- Huh?Copy !req
516. Please be happy.Copy !req
517. What?Copy !req
518. You deserve to be happy.Copy !req
519. Please be happy.Copy !req
520. I love how much you love your wife,Copy !req
521. and I can't wait for someone
to love me as much as you love your wife.Copy !req
522. But... you can still be happy.Copy !req
523. Okay.Copy !req
524. You're so funny.Copy !req
525. You make me laugh all the time.Copy !req
526. Tony, you're breaking my heart.Copy !req
527. Okay.Copy !req
528. - How's the Brian story going?
- Yeah, I've got it here.Copy !req
529. - Do you want to read it?
- Yep.Copy !req
530. Well,Copy !req
531. this can be the front page.Copy !req
532. - Really?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God. I could cry.Copy !req
533. Don't cry, and don't be too flattered.
Have you seen our front pages?Copy !req
534. Yeah.Copy !req
535. But still...
It's really good.Copy !req
536. - Really good.
- Thank you.Copy !req
537. No way!Copy !req
538. Tony!Copy !req
539. Oh, my God!Copy !req
540. Hello!Copy !req
541. Hello, you!Copy !req
542. Hello.Copy !req
543. Wow. This is your new home.Copy !req
544. - Oh, God.
- My God, Tony.Copy !req
545. Look at that face.Copy !req
546. She is gorgeous.Copy !req
547. - Hey.
- You all right?Copy !req
548. - I knew I'd find you at the office.Copy !req
549. Prostitute.Copy !req
550. Sex worker.Copy !req