1. Keep being funny.Copy !req
2. Tell jokes... at the funeral,
or at the party after.Copy !req
3. There'd better be a party after.Copy !req
4. You're always funny at parties.
You always get drunk and overexcited.Copy !req
5. Running around like a fat, little
annoying Santa with your rosy cheeks,Copy !req
6. making everyone laugh.Copy !req
7. Then you have a sort of spiritual hangover
the next day,Copy !req
8. worried you'd offended so and so.Copy !req
9. You never had, though.Copy !req
10. You just made 'em laugh.Copy !req
11. Just keep being funny.
You're a lovely man.Copy !req
12. You all right, George?Copy !req
13. What's the matter?Copy !req
14. Robbie hit me.Copy !req
15. Why?Copy !req
16. He always does, every day.Copy !req
17. Which one's Robbie?Copy !req
18. - Stop it!
- The one with the branch?Copy !req
19. Are you Robbie?Copy !req
20. - Yeah.
- Robbie, come here.Copy !req
21. Listen up, right?Copy !req
22. I'm an escaped lunatic,Copy !req
23. and I like murdering little fat kids
like you,Copy !req
24. so if you hit George or anyone else,
I'm gonna come to your house—Copy !req
25. I know where you live—Copy !req
26. and while you're asleep, I'm gonna smash
your stupid head in with this hammer.Copy !req
27. Do you understand?Copy !req
28. I just threatened a ten-year-old kid
with a hammer.Copy !req
29. They've gotta learn.Copy !req
30. He was bullying George, and I saidCopy !req
31. I'd murder him in his sleep
if he did it again.Copy !req
32. - Oh... Hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
33. He's going to murder a kid with a hammerCopy !req
34. if it doesn't behave.Copy !req
35. So did you...
go on your date, then?Copy !req
36. Yeah.Copy !req
37. Was it a success?Copy !req
38. No, it was... awful...Copy !req
39. - awkward... just the worst.Copy !req
40. The one good thing about my life is
that I never have to do that shit again.Copy !req
41. Oh, I know what you mean.Copy !req
42. You know, I'm genuinely happy on my own.Copy !req
43. Just me and the dog.Copy !req
44. - Me and my cat.
- Exactly.Copy !req
45. When the dog goes, and him,Copy !req
46. I'll have no responsibility
for anything ever again.Copy !req
47. I can do what I like.Copy !req
48. Mm-hm.Copy !req
49. Well, you'll never have
to come here again, so...Copy !req
50. - Right.
- Okay.Copy !req
51. - I've gotta—
- Yeah.Copy !req
52. - See you.
- See you later.Copy !req
53. Valerie, erm...Copy !req
54. call me when my girlfriend
gets here, please.Copy !req
55. But you'll see her.Copy !req
56. What?Copy !req
57. Yeah, just call me, huh?Copy !req
58. She's bringing me a treat.Copy !req
59. Women.Copy !req
60. Bloody love 'em though.Copy !req
61. Oh, hey. How was the date?Copy !req
62. The worst.Copy !req
63. - Oh no.
- Yeah.Copy !req
64. - I thought you'd have so much in common.
- Well, she didn't want to be there,Copy !req
65. she drank like a fish,
swore like a trooper,Copy !req
66. err, she was narcissistic, rude.Copy !req
67. Yeah, exactly.Copy !req
68. Good one. Luckily, I got it in first
that I didn't want to be there either,Copy !req
69. and that I miss my wife, and that...Copy !req
70. I wanna kill myself.Copy !req
71. And then she teased me
that I couldn't commit suicideCopy !req
72. as well as her dead husband.Copy !req
73. - Sounds brilliant.
- Yeah.Copy !req
74. Then I tried to knock a couple of muggers
off a moped.Copy !req
75. Stole their hammer.Copy !req
76. You were mugged again?Copy !req
77. No.Copy !req
78. A woman was—Copy !req
79. But as they went past me.Copy !req
80. I've always wanted to knock a twat
off a motorbike.Copy !req
81. I hate the way they rev up
for no reason.Copy !req
82. The fact they were muggers was a bonus.
It sort of justified it.Copy !req
83. And what d'you mean,
you stole their hammer?Copy !req
84. I confiscated it, really.
They dropped it, so I thought,Copy !req
85. "I'll have that."Copy !req
86. It's a good one as well,
so not a complete waste of an evening.Copy !req
87. Good.Copy !req
88. Can I just talk to you
about something a sec?Copy !req
89. Yeah.Copy !req
90. Did you hear about Julian?Copy !req
91. - The guy who distributes the newspapers.
- Yeah.Copy !req
92. He was found dead this morning.Copy !req
93. From an overdose, heroin.Copy !req
94. Yep.Copy !req
95. It's so sad. I didn't even...Copy !req
96. I— I had no idea.Copy !req
97. I gave him the money.Copy !req
98. For what?Copy !req
99. For drugs.Copy !req
100. Yeah, but you couldn't have known
that he would overdose, though.Copy !req
101. Well...Copy !req
102. - Fuck's sake, Tony.
- What?Copy !req
103. Don't say that.
Don't even joke about things like that.Copy !req
104. What? Why? What's...Copy !req
105. Because you're the godfather to my son.Copy !req
106. - Right—
- Because you're not a fucking psychopath.Copy !req
107. - Okay.
- Why would you say—Copy !req
108. Why would you even tell me that?Copy !req
109. You didn't know.Copy !req
110. - Just tell me you didn't know.
- Right. I couldn't know...Copy !req
111. - Right.
- ... it was gonna...Copy !req
112. you know, work.Copy !req
113. Work? Are you fucking kidding me?Copy !req
114. He was a heroin addict, okay?
That's what he did.Copy !req
115. Right? It's what he wanted, obviously.Copy !req
116. - So—
- Tell me that you didn't knowCopy !req
117. that he was gonna kill himself, or I'm not
gonna let you see George again, okay?Copy !req
118. I didn't know.Copy !req
119. Obviously not.Copy !req
120. Okay.Copy !req
121. You didn't— Yeah, you didn't know.Copy !req
122. Here she is.Copy !req
123. - Who?
- My bird.Copy !req
124. - My bird.
- Come in. Take a seat.Copy !req
125. - Bread pudding delivery.
- Lovely. Thanks, love.Copy !req
126. Um, everyone, it's my girlfriend, June.
June, everyone.Copy !req
127. - Hello.
- Hi, June.Copy !req
128. So... what's it like going out with...Copy !req
129. that?
It's lovely.Copy !req
130. - Is it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
131. What do you mean?Copy !req
132. He's good with my boy.Copy !req
133. - Right.
- Got a lot in common,Copy !req
134. - my two little fatties.
- Oh.Copy !req
135. I love it when
they fight over Creme Eggs.Copy !req
136. - Not fighting.
- You do.Copy !req
137. No, he's just— He gets a bit grabby.Copy !req
138. Ahh. He tells me you were attracted
to his style even before his personality.Copy !req
139. - Yeah.
- Wow.Copy !req
140. - Love everything about him.
- Right.Copy !req
141. Especially his body.Copy !req
142. Really?Copy !req
143. Wh-wh-why?Copy !req
144. Why? What's—Copy !req
145. He's 'ot.
'Ot?Copy !req
146. Yeah, like his body temperature's warm,
like hot to the touch.Copy !req
147. - Oh, right.
- So when he's naked, it's like cuddlingCopy !req
148. - a big baby.
- Oh.Copy !req
149. And his skin's dead smooth
when he gets out the bath.Copy !req
150. Very cuddly, yeah.Copy !req
151. And have you noticed
the roll of, um...Copy !req
152. flab on his neck?Copy !req
153. - Back fat?
- No, not back fat,Copy !req
154. but we'll come back to that, thank you.Copy !req
155. Um, no. Next time he's lying naked,Copy !req
156. just grab the back of his neck.
Or get on him, if you like.Copy !req
157. Sit on him,
grab the roll of fat on his back there,Copy !req
158. and blump him around the room
like a biiiig space hopper.Copy !req
159. - That'd be good.
- Don't want to hurt him, do I?Copy !req
160. - No. You just wanna cudd— I know.Copy !req
161. You should probably...
head off, love, shouldn't you?Copy !req
162. - Yeah.
- Well, come back any time, though,Copy !req
163. 'cause we're a local paper,
so we need sort of... Ahhh!Copy !req
164. We need sort of local interest stories
like this.Copy !req
165. - Ah, I forgot the custard.
- Not to worry.Copy !req
166. Okay, next time, though.Copy !req
167. - Never mind.
- Yeah, all right. See you, love.Copy !req
168. - Thanks for...
- See you later.Copy !req
169. Nice to meet you all.Copy !req
170. - Nice to meet you.
- Lovely to meet you. Cheers.Copy !req
171. - Ta-ra.
- Thanks for the pud.
You're welcome!Copy !req
172. - Fuckin' hell.
- You make a lovely couple.Copy !req
173. Cheers.Copy !req
174. Someone for everyone, isn't there?Copy !req
175. Thanks.Copy !req
176. She's brilliant, mate.Copy !req
177. Cheers.Copy !req
178. - Oh.
- Hi.Copy !req
179. Hi. Twice in one day?Copy !req
180. - Somebody's popular.
- It's just a slow workday, so—Copy !req
181. - Wish I had a slow workday.
- You busy?Copy !req
182. Err... Yeah, just a bit.Copy !req
183. Just... Well, have a sit down.Copy !req
184. - That's all I've got.Copy !req
185. God.Copy !req
186. - Okay, back to work.Copy !req
187. - Bye!
- Bye.Copy !req
188. Well,
I didn't breastfeed this time,Copy !req
189. not convenient.Copy !req
190. Obviously, I was still lactating,
so I thought, "Waste not, want not,"Copy !req
191. so I expressed...Copy !req
192. and started making rice puddings.Copy !req
193. - Out of your breast milk?
- Good idea.Copy !req
194. It's more natural,
if you think about it, isn't it?Copy !req
195. For people to eat a pudding
made from human milk.Copy !req
196. That's what we're used to, isn't it?Copy !req
197. Well, when we're babies maybe.Copy !req
198. So I kept expressing—Copy !req
199. And making... rice puddings.Copy !req
200. Do other people eat these?Copy !req
201. Yeah, they lap it up.
And they know it's your breast milk?Copy !req
202. Yeah.Copy !req
203. Who eats these?Copy !req
204. Mr. Crosby at number five.Copy !req
205. He can't get enough.Copy !req
206. - I mean, I can't make huge puddings.
- Sure.Copy !req
207. Sometimes I have to top it up
with cow's milk.Copy !req
208. Right.Copy !req
209. Anyway, do you want to try?Copy !req
210. Nah. We're fine, thank you—Copy !req
211. Oh. Oh, God!Copy !req
212. - Are you okay?Copy !req
213. No, it's the sight of him just...Copy !req
214. slurping it up like a fat...Copy !req
215. fuckin' Labrador.Copy !req
216. Oh, god.Copy !req
217. It's—Copy !req
218. Oh, God.Copy !req
219. Change the subject.Copy !req
220. So for the bread,
I use my own vaginal yeast.Copy !req
221. Thank you.Copy !req
222. You never need to use
your own vaginal yeast to make bread.Copy !req
223. If you're making bread,
"Oh, we've run out of yeast.Copy !req
224. Oh, I know. I can use— Forget it.Copy !req
225. I'll go to the shops.
We'll get a lovely loaf."Copy !req
226. You've still got the fuckin' milk
around your mouth.Copy !req
227. Oh, you pig.Copy !req
228. I've got to walk the dog.
I'll see you later.Copy !req
229. All right?Copy !req
230. - Yeah.
- Been waiting for you.Copy !req
231. Why?
Postcard.Copy !req
232. - Who's that from?
- You, obviously.Copy !req
233. What's it say?Copy !req
234. - You know what it says.
- Go on.Copy !req
235. "To Pat. Stop reading my postcards,
you nosy, scruffy cunt."Copy !req
236. Not very nice, is it?Copy !req
237. It's not addressed to you, is it?
It's addressed to me.Copy !req
238. Yeah, but you knew I'd read it.Copy !req
239. And that's my point.Copy !req
240. Good girl. Come on.Copy !req
241. I'm always angry.Copy !req
242. Yeah.Copy !req
243. I hate the fact that people think...Copy !req
244. they can get away with being shit,
you know?Copy !req
245. I was wound up the other dayCopy !req
246. by a woman walking along the street
next to me,Copy !req
247. and she was shuffling.
She wouldn't pick her—Copy !req
248. Pick your fuckin' feet up.Copy !req
249. Has no one ever told you
how to fuckin' walk?Copy !req
250. You're an adult.Copy !req
251. I wanted to punch a bloke
in the cafe yesterdayCopy !req
252. for yawning too loudly.Copy !req
253. He was doing this...Copy !req
254. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
255. No one cares.Copy !req
256. It's like celebrating being tired.Copy !req
257. We all get irritated by things, okay?Copy !req
258. I hate people who eat the ice
in their gin and tonics.Copy !req
259. So do I.Copy !req
260. But I bet your first thought isn't,
"I hope he chokes on that,Copy !req
261. and as he's on the floor gasping for air,Copy !req
262. I wanna lean in and go,Copy !req
263. "That's what you get for eating ice,
you fuckin' moron."Copy !req
264. No, it isn't.Copy !req
265. Welcome to the contents of my head.Copy !req
266. Excuse me.Copy !req
267. - Spare a moment for homeless children?
- Sorry, no.Copy !req
268. Oh, don't care about children
in poverty then?Copy !req
269. Not at the moment.
I've got bigger problems.Copy !req
270. Do bigger problems exist
than the desperate poverty of a child?Copy !req
271. Sorry, I thought me saying I was busy
was enough.Copy !req
272. What's the guilt tripping?
And don't give me this altruism shit.Copy !req
273. You're not a volunteer.
Everyone knows you're getting paid.Copy !req
274. You don't give a fuck about the charity
or poverty-stricken kids. You want money.Copy !req
275. I'd effectively be paying your wages,
you wiry, little twat.Copy !req
276. Four-eyes!Copy !req
277. Oh.Copy !req
278. Please can I be in the paper?Copy !req
279. For what?Copy !req
280. Me.Copy !req
281. - My story.
- What story?Copy !req
282. I've got stories.Copy !req
283. You'll do stories about anything in here,
won't you?Copy !req
284. What was it last week,
"Woman Finds Hat in a Tree"?Copy !req
285. Please...Copy !req
286. come and have a look at my home.Copy !req
287. - Why?
- This is just the tip of the iceberg.Copy !req
288. You don't know.Copy !req
289. No, I believe you.Copy !req
290. It's a tr— trevor tro— treasure trove.Copy !req
291. - Easy for you to say.
- Collected loads of things over the years.Copy !req
292. Memorabilia and trophies and...Copy !req
293. my exploits.Copy !req
294. If you're not convinced, I promise
I'll never darken your door again.Copy !req
295. So if we come and look at your house,Copy !req
296. you'll never bother us—Copy !req
297. Never. No.Copy !req
298. It'll make my year.Copy !req
299. D'you wanna go have a look?Copy !req
300. Yeah.Copy !req
301. Please bring the new girl.Copy !req
302. D'you want to watch us cover this story?Copy !req
303. - Yeah. All right.
- Yeah?Copy !req
304. Here we go.Copy !req
305. Here we are.Copy !req
306. - Fuckin' hell.
- Come in.Copy !req
307. This is the dining room.Copy !req
308. Okay, come through.Copy !req
309. This is what I've been talking about.
This is...Copy !req
310. Questions?Copy !req
311. What's that smell?Copy !req
312. Which one?Copy !req
313. Like a clawing thing
in the back of the throat.Copy !req
314. - Back of the throat. Dead mice.
- Yeah—Copy !req
315. Back of the room. Back corner.
Basically, I put some traps thereCopy !req
316. a couple of years ago,
and I can't get to them, so...Copy !req
317. Any other questions?Copy !req
318. - What are they?
- Cockroaches.Copy !req
319. I collect them.Copy !req
320. Basically, these little fellas are um—Copy !req
321. - Don't open it.
- Okay.Copy !req
322. My rule is, if you come onto my property,
then I own you.Copy !req
323. Okay?
Question three?Copy !req
324. - How long have you been doing this?
- Ooh.
When did my wife leave me?Copy !req
325. Seven years.Copy !req
326. Seven years ago. I just thought I could
do what I like with the place.Copy !req
327. So I just went for it.Copy !req
328. Yeah, which brings me to my next question,Copy !req
329. - and don't take this the wrong way...
- No.Copy !req
330. Why have you never considered suicide?Copy !req
331. I have.Copy !req
332. And why... didn't you go through with it?Copy !req
333. Because I decided it was too good for me.Copy !req
334. Wow.Copy !req
335. That's what you're dealing with.Copy !req
336. - Cup of tea?
- Definitely not.Copy !req
337. Okay.Copy !req
338. Brian, this isn't right for a local paper.
How can I do a—Copy !req
339. There's no story here, mate.Copy !req
340. Can I stay and try and find one?Copy !req
341. - Really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
342. Okay.Copy !req
343. See you later.Copy !req
344. Where are you going?Copy !req
345. - I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
346. Don't leave her with him.Copy !req
347. - It stinks.
- Yeah.Copy !req
348. What d'you wanna know?
Where'd you wanna go?Copy !req
349. Just show me
what you've got, really.Copy !req
350. What I've got?
What haven't I got?Copy !req
351. Okay, thank you. Yeah.Copy !req
352. No, thanks for letting me know.Copy !req
353. Hello, everybody! Hello!Copy !req
354. Hello, everybody! Hello.Copy !req
355. Say hello, everybody.Copy !req
356. - Hello.
- Hello.Copy !req
357. Hello, Mr. Punch.Copy !req
358. Hello, Mrs. Punch.
What are you up to?Copy !req
359. Oh, nothing much. Nothing much.Copy !req
360. Yes, you have.
You've been shagging Mickey the Gypsy.Copy !req
361. No, I haven't.Copy !req
362. Yes, you have.Copy !req
363. Ooh, calm down, Brian.Copy !req
364. Calm down?
You're telling me to calm down?Copy !req
365. Huh? You've made me a laughing stock
around the village,Copy !req
366. and she's telling me to calm down.Copy !req
367. She's been shagging anything that moves.Copy !req
368. For 18 months, she's shagging
Mickey the Gypsy down Green Lane.Copy !req
369. My wife is a slut. There's your headline.Copy !req
370. "My Wife's a Slut."Copy !req
371. This woman has destroyed me.
Yes, please, take a picture. Thank you.Copy !req
372. Tony, can I have a word?Copy !req
373. - Now?
- Yeah, now.Copy !req
374. Shut the door.Copy !req
375. Sit down.Copy !req
376. I just had a phone call from the school.Copy !req
377. Not as a story or anything,
but as a parent.Copy !req
378. Apparently, a middle-aged man
threatened a ten-year-old childCopy !req
379. with a hammer today.Copy !req
380. You threatened a child
with a fucking hammer.Copy !req
381. Who told you it was me?Copy !req
382. Nobody. They don't know it was you.Copy !req
383. I know it was you
'cause I've seen the fucking hammer.Copy !req
384. He was bullying George.Copy !req
385. What the fuck is wrong with you, Tony?
I can't—Copy !req
386. I can take all the insults, you know,
the lateness.Copy !req
387. Fill your boots with that shit,
but you can't—Copy !req
388. If you carry on like this,
people are gonna get hurt, right?Copy !req
389. - And it's not gonna be George.
- I know.Copy !req
390. I was trying to stop George getting hurt.Copy !req
391. I get enough grief from Jill as it is,Copy !req
392. letting George see you, but I do itCopy !req
393. because I know it makes you happy,Copy !req
394. but I can't risk that anymore.
Do you understand?Copy !req
395. - I'm fucked up.
- You're not fuck— that's not good enough.Copy !req
396. That is not good enough, Tony.Copy !req
397. That's letting yourself
off the hook again.Copy !req
398. People who are fucked up
don't choose to be like that.Copy !req
399. You're doing this on purpose.
You know what you're doing.Copy !req
400. This is the worst thing you've done.Copy !req
401. I don't even know
what you're fighting anymore.Copy !req
402. I don't get this, okay?
There is no enemy in this story.Copy !req
403. This is— You're just doing this
to yourself.Copy !req
404. I'm in pain, all right?
I'm in fucking pain all the time,Copy !req
405. and I do shit like this...Copy !req
406. 'cause it makes me
feel better for a split second.Copy !req
407. Other people are in pain as well.
Other people have shit going on.Copy !req
408. Other people have things
they need to deal with.Copy !req
409. I just want to be out of pain.Copy !req
410. Either live without pain
or die without pain,Copy !req
411. whichever one comes first.Copy !req
412. - I choose that, all right?
- Okay, listen to me.Copy !req
413. If you're saying to me
that you can't be trusted,Copy !req
414. that you're not accountable
for your actions, then that's fine,Copy !req
415. if that's what you're saying.Copy !req
416. But that means
that you don't get to see George.Copy !req
417. Because if you're saying I have to choose
between the safety of my son...Copy !req
418. and you,Copy !req
419. then I choose my son every fucking time.
Do you understand me?Copy !req
420. It doesn't even come close.Copy !req
421. - I'd never do anything to hurt George.
- Look what you've done already.Copy !req
422. I know.Copy !req
423. I won't do anything like this again.Copy !req
424. Well, let's see, okay?Copy !req
425. What was it like?Copy !req
426. - Absolutely mental.
- Why?Copy !req
427. It's just full of shit.Copy !req
428. Just old shit.Copy !req
429. He did a puppet show!Copy !req
430. - Puppet show?
- Yeah, like an actual puppet show.Copy !req
431. How are you even gonna deal with that?Copy !req
432. It's quite sad.Copy !req
433. Excited to start it.Copy !req
434. Why is it empty?Copy !req
435. What d'you mean?Copy !req
436. Well, usually, there's like a... romantic
scene or a castle or something inside.Copy !req
437. Yeah. This is one of them
that you're meant to putCopy !req
438. a photo of a loved one in, but...Copy !req
439. I haven't met anyone, though.Copy !req
440. Fuck me.Copy !req
441. Put something in it.Copy !req
442. Picture of your cat,Copy !req
443. something you love.Copy !req
444. What d'you love?
Loads of stuff.Copy !req
445. Go on.
Go on what?Copy !req
446. What d'you mean "Go on what"?Copy !req
447. What?Copy !req
448. I said, "Go on,"Copy !req
449. and you said, "Go on what?"Copy !req
450. You haven't heard the phrase, "go on,"Copy !req
451. as in expound,Copy !req
452. give me some examples?Copy !req
453. - No.
- No?Copy !req
454. Okay.Copy !req
455. Give me some examples of things you love.Copy !req
456. Having a laugh.Copy !req
457. - Really?
- Yeah!Copy !req
458. You've seen the birthday cards
I buy people.Copy !req
459. Funny memes I show around on Twitter.Copy !req
460. Kevin Hart.Copy !req
461. - Fancy seeing you here.
- Oh.Copy !req
462. - You all right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
463. Good.
Erm...Copy !req
464. I need some advice.Copy !req
465. I wanted to kill myself.Copy !req
466. And when I couldn't, or hadn't,Copy !req
467. I thought, "Okay.Copy !req
468. If I'm gonna do this
carrying on living thing,Copy !req
469. it's gonna be on my terms,
I'm gonna do what I want,Copy !req
470. and I've always got suicide
to fall back on."Copy !req
471. Got to have a backup.Copy !req
472. Exactly.Copy !req
473. But it didn't go to plan.Copy !req
474. Erm...Copy !req
475. At first,
I thought it was like a superpower.Copy !req
476. I can do anything. Who cares?Copy !req
477. What's the worst that can happen?Copy !req
478. Nothing can hurt me because I can
always kill myself, you know? And...Copy !req
479. But then...Copy !req
480. I realized you can't...Copy !req
481. You can't not care about things
you actually care about.Copy !req
482. You can't fool yourself and...Copy !req
483. And, err...Copy !req
484. it was something you said,
that it's not all about me,Copy !req
485. and even though I'm in pain,Copy !req
486. it's worth...Copy !req
487. sticking around to maybe...Copy !req
488. make my...Copy !req
489. little corner of the world
a slightly better place.Copy !req
490. That's all there is.Copy !req
491. Happiness is amazing.Copy !req
492. It's so amazing,
it doesn't matter if it's yours or not.Copy !req
493. There's that lovely thing,Copy !req
494. "A society grows great
when old men plant trees,Copy !req
495. the shade of which they know
they will never sit in."Copy !req
496. Good people do things for other people.Copy !req
497. That's it. The end.Copy !req
498. And you're good, Tony.Copy !req
499. You have so much to give.Copy !req
500. Smart...Copy !req
501. fun...
lovely.Copy !req
502. You forgot "sexy," but...Copy !req
503. Yeah, well,Copy !req
504. didn't want to be too obvious.Copy !req
505. - If you were 20 years younger, right?
- Exactly.Copy !req
506. Mind you, if I was 20 years younger,
I think I could do better.Copy !req
507. - Yeah, definitely.Copy !req
508. Ah.Copy !req
509. All right, I'm off.Copy !req
510. Bye.Copy !req
511. - See you tomorrow.
- See ya.Copy !req
512. - See ya.
- Bye.Copy !req
513. - Tony.
- Huh?Copy !req
514. Please be happy.Copy !req
515. What?Copy !req
516. You deserve to be happy.Copy !req
517. Please be happy.Copy !req
518. I love how much you love your wife,Copy !req
519. and I can't wait for someone
to love me as much as you love your wife.Copy !req
520. But... you can still be happy.Copy !req
521. Okay.Copy !req
522. You're so funny.Copy !req
523. You make me laugh all the time.Copy !req
524. Tony, you're breaking my heart.Copy !req
525. Okay.Copy !req
526. - How's the Brian story going?
- Yeah, I've got it here.Copy !req
527. - Do you want to read it?
- Yep.Copy !req
528. Well,Copy !req
529. this can be the front page.Copy !req
530. - Really?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God. I could cry.Copy !req
531. Don't cry, and don't be too flattered.
Have you seen our front pages?Copy !req
532. Yeah.Copy !req
533. But still...
It's really good.Copy !req
534. - Really good.
- Thank you.Copy !req
535. No way!Copy !req
536. Tony!Copy !req
537. Oh, my God!Copy !req
538. Hello!Copy !req
539. Hello, you!Copy !req
540. Hello.Copy !req
541. Wow. This is your new home.Copy !req
542. - Oh, God.
- My God, Tony.Copy !req
543. Look at that face.Copy !req
544. She is gorgeous.Copy !req
545. - Hey.
- You all right?Copy !req
546. - I knew I'd find you at the office.Copy !req
547. Prostitute.Copy !req
548. Sex worker.Copy !req