1.  Whew! 
			  
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2.  Ladies and gentlemen,
I have invented time travel. 
			  
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3.  This phasical sphere is flooded 
			  
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4.  with info waves that scan
every second, 
			  
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5.  logging every molecule
that passes through its volume. 
			  
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6.  I made special gloves for it. 
			  
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7.  Now check it out! 
			  
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8.  It's logging time! 
			  
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9.  I'll set the clock back now. 
			  
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10.  Now I'll push
the time-travel button. 
			  
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11.  Aah! 
			  
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12.  Eh, it's not really
time travel, though. 
			  
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13.  You just, you know,
moved their stuff around. 
			  
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14.  You didn't really
manipulate time. 
			  
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15.  Ice King's done it better
before with magic. 
			  
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16.  I enjoyed your presentation
very much, Princess. 
			  
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17.  Thank you for inviting me. 
			  
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18.  No!
For all intents and purposes, 
			  
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19.  they traveled back to an earlier
point in their time. 
			  
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20.  Eh, I guess, but not really. 
			  
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21.  I mean, Ice King did it
for real. 
			  
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22.  Guy pulled
his fiancée out of time 
			  
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23.  from a thousand years ago
using magic. 
			  
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24.  Hey, Time, where's
my fiancée, am I right? 
			  
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25.  Jake, don't deny my science! 
			  
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26.  This is a time-travel
machine. 
			  
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27.  Hyah! 
			  
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28.  Take me back to when
my ex-boyfriend Brad loved me! 
			  
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29.  - LSP.
- What? 
			  
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30.  LSP, that's not how it works. 
			  
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31.  It can only rearrange
your molecules 
			  
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32.  into a previously
logged formation, 
			  
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33.  and you need these gloves. 
			  
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34.  - Give them to me.
- No. 
			  
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35.  You witch.
Give them to me now! 
			  
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36.  No, I'm sorry, but you need
to pull yourself... 
			  
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37.  You skunk! 
			  
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38.  - Hey!
- You skunk! You skunk! 
			  
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39.  You pretty skunk!
You don't know heartache, 
			  
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40.  with the whole Candy Kingdom
in love 
			  
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41.  with your pretty Bubblegum buns! 
			  
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42.  Aah! 
			  
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43.  Hear me, Lumpy Space Princess, 
			  
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44.  I will avoid declaring war 
			  
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45.  on the entirety of Lumpy Space,
ruled by your parents, 
			  
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46.  if you apologize to me
immediately! 
			  
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47.  I'm sorry-y-y-y-y-y. 
			  
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48.  I'm sorry you're so stupid. 
			  
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49.  Whoa! 
			  
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50.  Sheesh. 
			  
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51.  Everyone in here is a loser. 
			  
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52.  Nobody's as good as Brad. 
			  
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53.  Oh, Brad!
Why can't I get over you? 
			  
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54.  Have you tried burning
an effigy? 
			  
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55.  That's what they do in movies. 
			  
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56.  This isn't a movie, Charlie!
It's real life! 
			  
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57.  Another cucumber water,
your majesty? 
			  
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58.  What? 
			  
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59.  Oh, I-I'm sorry for staring,
but, uh, I know you. 
			  
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60.  W-We used to... 
			  
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61.  Everyone knows me.
I'm Lumpy Space Princess. 
			  
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62.  No, uh, from high school... 
			  
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63.  W-We were lab partners.
I'm Johnnie. 
			  
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64.  "Ugly Johnnie"? 
			  
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65.  Y-Yeah, you used to call me
that quite a bit. 
			  
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66.  Yeah. 
			  
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67.  But I can't call you that
anymore. 
			  
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68.  Come on. Sit up straight.
Let me see them eyes. 
			  
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69.  - Mm.
- Do it. 
			  
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70.  Nope. 
			  
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71.  Can't call you that anymore. 
			  
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72.  So, what brings you to
the Candy Kingdom, Johnnie? 
			  
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73.  Business, uh, actually. 
			  
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74.  I own my own company, bottling
and distributing lumpy gas. 
			  
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75.  Mm-hmm. 
			  
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76.  And I'm up for a big contract,
uh, here in the kingdom, 
			  
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77.  which could really help
my business "take off," 
			  
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78.  so to speak.
- That's so cool. 
			  
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79.  You're like your own boss
or whatever. 
			  
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80.  To be honest,
I'm a little nervous 
			  
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81.  about this meeting tomorrow. 
			  
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82.  Why, Johnnie? 
			  
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83.  I'm bad at talking to people. 
			  
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84.  That's because you have
poor posture. 
			  
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85.  - Really?
- You got to stop slouching. 
			  
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86.  Now look me in the eye! 
			  
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87.  Yeah, stay like that. 
			  
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88.  Boy, LSP. 
			  
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89.  You sure are making me
feel good about myself. 
			  
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90.  You feeling good makes me
feel good, Johnnie. 
			  
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91.  So, where are you
staying while you're in town? 
			  
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92.  I'm subletting a friend's
apartment. 
			  
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93.  Talk is cheap, Johnnie. 
			  
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94.  You should take me there. 
			  
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95.  That chair? 
			  
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96.  Oh, it used to be over there,
but I moved it. 
			  
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97.  Johnnie, it's so nice. 
			  
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98.  You've really made it your own. 
			  
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99.  - Thanks.
- Ooh! Records! 
			  
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100.  Okay, want to see
something funny? 
			  
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101.  - Yeah.
- Okay. 
			  
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102.  Okay. Sit down. 
			  
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103.  Okay, are you ready? 
			  
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104.  Yeah. 
			  
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105.  Okay! 
			  
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106.  It's his face, but on your body. 
			  
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107.  I know! That's the joke! 
			  
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108.  My friend Melissa and I
came up with that. 
			  
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109.  You're smart that you get it. 
			  
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110.  Boy, when this evening started, 
			  
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111.  I was feeling so dump trucks, 
			  
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112.  but now it's like
a hundred forklifts! 
			  
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113.  I feel the same way, Johnnie. 
			  
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114.  Do you feel this couch? 
			  
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115.  What? 
			  
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116.  'Cause it's where you're
gonna sleep! 
			  
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117.  Seriously, it's getting late, 
			  
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118.  and I don't want you walking
home, so I insist. 
			  
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119.  I'll be in the other room,
sleeping peacefully... 
			  
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120.  and dreaming about you. 
			  
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121.  Johnnie! 
			  
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122.  Thank you for everything. 
			  
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123.  Johnnie. 
			  
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124.  Go to bed already. 
			  
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125.  You have a big day tomorrow. 
			  
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126.  Good night. 
			  
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127.  Rise and shine! 
			  
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128.  I hope you like pancakes,
'cause I got... 
			  
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129.  oh. 
			  
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130.  I guess she'll be the one
who got away. 
			  
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131.  Looking for someone? 
			  
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132.  - You're still here!
- 'Course I am. 
			  
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133.  Now make me some breakfast. 
			  
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134.  Okay, Johnnie, good luck
at your meeting, 
			  
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135.  and remember,
I'll be right over there 
			  
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136.  sending you good vibes 
			  
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137.  while you're wowing
Princess Bubblegum. 
			  
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138.  Sending you good vibes. 
			  
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139.  Yo. Why are you
so confident, man? 
			  
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140.  Aren't you nervous to meet
the Princess? 
			  
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141.  Nope. My GF ls back at my place,
sending me good vibes. 
			  
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142.  Johnnie's friend has
so many movie channels. 
			  
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143.  Ha-ha!
That movie was so dumb. 
			  
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144.  Oh, poop! Johnnie's meeting! 
			  
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145.  Wonder how it went. 
			  
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146.  Johnnie! 
			  
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147.  Oh, Johnnie, you're home! 
			  
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148.  How'd it go? 
			  
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149.  Oh, don't keep me
in suspense, Johnnie! 
			  
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150.  I did it, babe!
I landed the sale! 
			  
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151.  Johnnie, that's wonderful! 
			  
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152.  And I couldn't have done it
without you. 
			  
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153.  I know! 
			  
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154.  And here's the best part... 
			  
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155.  She wants me back
at the castle tonight 
			  
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156.  to go over the contracts
during a royal dinner. 
			  
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157.  Oh, my glob! 
			  
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158.  It's gonna be so nice to have
dinner inside the castle. 
			  
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159.  It's been awhile.
- Oh. No. 
			  
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160.  L-It's a business meeting,
not social... 
			  
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161.  Just me and the Princess,
I'm afraid. 
			  
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162.  - What?
- LSP? 
			  
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163.  So, Bubblegum thinks she can
horn in on my territory, 
			  
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164.  sip from my soup after I cut
all the onions? 
			  
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165.  Yo, think again, tranch. 
			  
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166.  Who... who are you
talking to? 
			  
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167.  So, how are you
enjoying your time 
			  
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168.  in the Candy Kingdom? 
			  
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169.  Oh, it's just great. 
			  
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170.  I met this amazing purple girl
at the Candy Tavern. 
			  
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171.  That's wonderful, Johnnie.
Now, tell me... 
			  
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172.  Oh, Johnnie.
"Ugly Johnnie." 
			  
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173.  Through my tender love,
you have metamorphed 
			  
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174.  into beautiful
Johnnie butterfly. 
			  
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175.  Every relationship,
I gamble with my heart. 
			  
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176.  I go all-in because the payoff
is true love. 
			  
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177.  I see you when I close my eyes. 
			  
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178.  And thinking of you makes
my mind feel light. 
			  
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179.  All my problems fade away,
and I can't help smiling. 
			  
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180.  To let someone you love go
into the arms of another 
			  
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181.  takes a big person. 
			  
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182.  I don't know if I can
be that big. 
			  
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183.  Aah. Aah. 
			  
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184.  We're under attack! 
			  
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185.  Can I help? 
			  
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186.  No, hide yourself
beneath the tablecloth. 
			  
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187.  There's cyanide-laced gum
under the table. 
			  
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188.  Chew it if you hear raiders
break down the door. 
			  
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189.  Okay. 
			  
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190.  Hi, Johnnie. 
			  
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191.  What are you doing here? 
			  
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192.  I'm going to time-travel you
back 
			  
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193.  to when we first met
at the tavern, 
			  
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194.  back to when you loved me, 
			  
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195.  so we can have a second chance. 
			  
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196.  What? 
			  
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197.  Aah! 
			  
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198.  Manfried, where
are the banana guards? 
			  
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199.  Take a chill pill, Princess.
I handled it. 
			  
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200.  What did you handle? 
			  
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201.  You know. Someone drove
their car in the door, 
			  
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202.  but no one was driving, 
			  
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203.  and it exploded,
so I handled it. 
			  
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204.  Mm. 
			  
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205.  Don't chew it, don't chew it,
don't chew it! 
			  
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206.  Johnnie? 
			  
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207.  Come on. Sit up straight. 
			  
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208.  Let me see them eyes. 
			  
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209.  - Uh...
- He's not here. 
			  
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210.  What? 
			  
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211.  But I sent him back. 
			  
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212.  The sphere would've had
to log his molecules 
			  
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213.  before you engaged
the time-travel function. 
			  
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214.  Well, then where is he? 
			  
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215.  I don't know. 
			  
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216.  Then if he's gone,
can you send me back 
			  
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217.  to before I met him 
			  
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218.  so I won't have to remember
this heartache? 
			  
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219.  If that's what you want. 
			  
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220.  Do it. Do it! 
			  
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221.  You witch!
Give me them to... what? 
			  
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222.  What? Where are we? 
			  
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223.  You asked me to use this. 
			  
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224.  Don't touch me! 
			  
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225.  You pretty skunk! 
			  
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226.  You don't know heartache,
with the whole Candy Kingdom 
			  
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227.  in love with your Bubblegum
buns! 
			  
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228.  This party is so crazy! 
			  
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