1. - Good morning, Princess!
- Aah!
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2. Finn, you scared me!
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3. I am sorry, Princess!
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4. What are you doing here, Finn?
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5. Since I got out of my
last relationship,
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6. I've been slacking on the job.
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7. So I'm rededicating my life
to protecting, serving,
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8. and meeting your every need.
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9. Jake said I was acting bananas
about the whole thing
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10. and wanted no part of this.
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11. It's 5:30
in the morning.
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12. That's right, Princess.
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13. I'm getting back on the job
hard-core,
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14. giving 100% of my being,
all for you.
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15. Thank you.
That's very nice.
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16. No need to thank me, PB.
It's my job.
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17. Heh.
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18. Thank you.
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19. How am I doing
at my job, Princess?
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20. Am I crushing it?
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21. Yes, but can you
move just a bit?
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22. No, no, like...
out of the way.
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23. Oh!
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24. Okay, what else do I need?
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25. Aw, dang it.
I forgot we're out of milk.
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26. Now I have to go get it fr...
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27. B-B-B-B-Buh!
I got it!
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28. Hyah!
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29. Milk. You wanted milk.
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30. Finn, I thought you went home.
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31. Yes.
I do regret the slow return.
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32. But I assure you, this is the
highest quality milk available.
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33. It's mink's milk.
I milked a mink.
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34. 100% dedication.
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35. No limits to what I'd do
for you.
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36. I'd throw Peppermint Butler
off this balcony if you asked.
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37. Sorry, Peppermint Butler.
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38. Just joking, but kinda sorta not.
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39. You're really
going over the top here.
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40. Take it easy.
Princess' orders.
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41. Okay, I'll just rest here.
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42. No, no. Resting on the job
is not resting.
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43. Go somewhere where
you can relax.
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44. Yes, Princess.
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45. Hyah!
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46. Hup! Hup! Hup!
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47. Hmm.
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48. Wow, PB.
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49. Sure is a nice day
to be outside.
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50. Hey, watch what you say
about PB, bro!
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51. Talk garbage about PB
one more time, bro...
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52. See what happens!
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53. Hold on one sec, PB.
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54. I got to deal with a real
tough guy over here.
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55. You got one last chance
to apologize
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56. before I dishonor you
like you did m'lady.
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57. All right, bro,
have it your way.
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58. Hyah!
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59. Where's your pants, bro?
Where's your honor now?
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60. Everyone's laughing
at your undies.
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61. It's real uncomfortable.
What's up?
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62. Heh.
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63. Whoa!
Wowzers!
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64. No!
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65. Did you drop this car
on m'lady, bro?
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66. Leave this dump now.
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67. You dropped a car
on m'lady, bro.
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68. Now I gotta restore her honor.
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69. Hope you're wearing underwear.
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70. Huh?
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71. Uh!
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72. Whoa. Dude's got awesome powers.
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73. Hey, dude, you got
awesome powers!
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74. Ra-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!
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75. You gonna kill me, bro?
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76. No...
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77. instead I will pluck out
your eyes
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78. with the point of my sword
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79. and whenever you try to see
stuff,
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80. you will think only of me...
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81. Rattleballs!
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82. Aaaah!
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83. Do it! I ain't a baby!
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84. Do it, bro-o-o-o!
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85. You have a warrior's spirit...
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86. Something I haven't seen
in a long time.
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87. But your swordsmanship is pbht!
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88. You should learn to master your
weapon before you draw it.
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89. What?
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90. You're just gonna tell me
I'm terrible and walk away?
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91. Teach me sword stuff, man!
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92. I know you're back there.
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93. I brought you a muffin.
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94. I don't eat muffins. I'm a robot.
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95. Look, I know you don't know me
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96. and we got off
on the wrong foot,
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97. but please, dude,
teach me how to use the sword.
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98. Ple-e-e-ase.
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99. - You okay?
- No.
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100. When I was a young robot,
I went horseback riding...
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101. no one taught me how to post.
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102. The horse took a crazy jump,
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103. and I came down
on the saddle hard.
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104. One of my gumballs
bounced up inside me...
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105. it's been lodged
in a weird spot for years.
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106. Oh. Here...
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107. Errr!
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108. Eh...
More to the left...
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109. Getting closer...
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110. Closer!
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111. Hoh!
You got it!
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112. Thank you!
- Yeah.
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113. Perhaps you feel a sense of
indebted obligation to me?
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114. Yes, I will teach you
the sword stuff.
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115. Lesson one... block my eggs.
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116. Yut.
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117. Yut.
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118. Ha! Got one!
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119. Egg-cellent!
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120. Whoa!
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121. Ooh!
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122. Ooh! Ooh!
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123. Yeah!
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124. That's right. I can take it.
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125. Yeaaaah!
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126. You have done well today.
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127. You've felt the sting
of the yolk,
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128. endured the sizzle
of the mini BBQ.
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129. Perhaps you are ready to learn
my secret technique.
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130. Secret technique!
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131. Watch.
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132. What the?
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133. The shadowless thrust.
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134. Your blade must be swift enough
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135. to slice the air between you
and the target,
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136. removing all wind resistance.
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137. Now you try.
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138. Again.
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139. So, am I a master swordsman now?
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140. You will be, if you train
this hard every day...
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141. for 10 years...
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142. And get a robot body.
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143. Oh.
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144. So, uh, why you livin'
in this dump?
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145. You should be out in the world
savin' fancy ladies and junk.
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146. That, my friend,
is a long tale...
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147. which I will tell you now.
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148. It was a much wilder time
in the Candy Kingdom.
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149. I was a member of an elite
robot police force
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150. created by Princess Bubblegum.
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151. Her previous attempts
at law enforcement
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152. had been a bunch of goofs.
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153. Stop him!
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154. Go! Go! Go! Go!
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155. Our righteous swords cut
a swath through the chaos.
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156. But we were too successful.
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157. Unfortunately, we were still
programmed for violence.
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158. Oh!
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159. One, two, one, two,
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160. one, two, one, two.
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161. Okay, robots, all the number
ones go stand
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162. on that platform over there.
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163. And all the number twos
just turn around
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164. and face the wall.
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165. And no peeking.
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166. We were programmed
to follow her commands 100%.
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167. But through sheer force
of will...
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168. Nnnnnng!
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169. I was able to overcome it.
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170. We had been judged too dangerous
to stay operational
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171. and sentenced to death.
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172. Number twos, chop, chop.
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173. I alone escaped...
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174. while my compatriots became
minimalist furniture.
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175. Ah, sorry.
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176. I've lived as a fugitive in
this junkyard ever since.
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177. That is why you must never tell
Princess Bubblegum about me.
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178. If she ever found out...
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179. she would have me destroyed.
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180. Rattleballs is still what?
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181. He asked me not to tell you,
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182. but I could not break my oath
to serve you m'lady, 100%.
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183. Captain Root Beer Guy,
assemble my guard.
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184. Hello, Princess.
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185. Sorry, Ree-B-Z.
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186. My oath to the Princess
comes first.
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187. But once you two talk it out,
I know she'll see you mean no harm.
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188. Banana guards, destroy!
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189. - So be it.
- Wait!
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190. Cha-a-a-a-rge!
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191. Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo!
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192. Ugh!
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193. Cha-a-a-a-a-r...
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194. Rattleballs!
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195. R.B., don't!
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196. You think I'm dangerous,
Princess?
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197. Dang right I do!
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198. You killed all my banana guards!
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199. No, Princess, look!
They're only bruised.
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200. Hey, you hit me.
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201. I no longer crave mindless
violence.
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202. I have found peace
in meditation, gardening...
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203. egg throwing.
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204. I hope time has also made you
less bloodthirsty, Princess.
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205. But do with me as you will.
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206. In my heart,
I still serve you...
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207. 100%.
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208. Bigger pimples mean bigger dimples,
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209. so mash up your mush...
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210. Ahem...
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211. Okay, everybody.
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212. I took care of Rattleballs.
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213. Ooh, wow. Cool.
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214. Show's back on.
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215. Everything's settled.
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216. I don't have to go back
on my order,
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217. and you can protect
the kingdom from the shadows.
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218. Thank you, Princess.
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219. That's marginally better
than hiding in a dump.
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220. Wait.
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221. - Hmm?
- I dub thee...
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222. Sir Rattleballs!
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223. This party is so crazy!
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