1. Get it, get it!
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2. Get him out!
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3. Don't you ever
let me catch you here again.
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4. Did he get you
with his poison stingers?
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5. No! I got a splinter from the door.
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6. Let me see.
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7. Wow, that's a tiny splinter.
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8. But it hurts!
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9. I'm going to need some...
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10. Fingerprotection!
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11. - Thanks, Choose Goose.
- I am Choose Goose.
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12. Come back for some juice!
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13. - Man, I am so protected right now.
- That is mighty thick.
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14. Go on, hit me!
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15. Hey, guys! Check this out!
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16. Dude, hit me.
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17. On my armor!
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18. That is but a thimble!
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19. This...
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20. is real armor.
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21. Sir Slicer!
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22. Who is the one
that bears the thimble?
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23. This dude.
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24. You foolish boy.
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25. Without full body armor, you're weak!
You do not look...
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26. Choose Goose, I need more armor.
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27. I've got something for you,
a metal shoe!
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28. Don't you know you
might stub your toe?
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29. No Choose Goose, I need...
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30. Look here your
To this one to protect your butt.
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31. To his butt! Protect his butt!
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32. No Choose Goose, I want...
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33. Don't be meek. What if you fall down
and scrape your cheek?
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34. Look at his butt! Look at his butt!
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35. Choose Goose, I want the most...
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36. armor you have!
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37. Have a look!
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38. - I'll take that one.
- Wonderful.
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39. I'll need a trade of equal value.
I'll take the head of your dog friend.
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40. Say what?
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41. No way. Choose Goose,
this stuff is overpriced.
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42. No money for me?
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43. How about a poem for free?
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44. A poem?
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45. If you can decipher the poem
and complete the trials,
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46. you will receive
the magical Armor of Zeldron.
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47. It is foretold to be totally...
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48. Skadow!
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49. Your quest begins
in the marsh over the hill.
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50. - Ah, yes! I'm gonna get that armor!
- Yeah, man, you're gonna do it.
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51. Good luck exposing your soft,
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52. vanilla-strawberry skin
to the elements, dork!
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53. Later, loosers.
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54. He's just jealous that
I'm gonna have cooler armor than him.
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55. Yeah, what a bumbleberry?
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56. What's the poem say?
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57. "The sun nibbles on the clouds,
and gum drop tears rain down"
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58. I don't get it.
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59. It means that we have to cross
that swamp.
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60. How'd you understand that?
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61. You don't just read the poetry
to understand it.
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62. You got to feel it.
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63. Trust me, dude,
I'm smarter than everyone.
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64. - Now get in there!
- You're not coming?
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65. No way, man.
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66. This armor thing is your deal.
I'll wait for you on the other side.
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67. This place will be a piece of...
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68. Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry!
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69. My most private parts
peeped by a boy!
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70. - Pervert!
- I'm not a pervert!
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71. You should be ashamed of yourself!
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72. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
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73. - My privates!
- I'm sorry!
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74. - My privates!
- I'm sorry!
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75. - You okay, man?
- No!
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76. What's the matter, crimson cheeks?
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77. Feeling a little embarrassed
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78. in the swamp of embarrassment?
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79. You're so red,
you look like a tomato.
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80. We'll see who's embarrassed
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81. when I get that armor!
What does the poem say?
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82. "The meadow weeps as morning sings
of milk and honey and things to come"
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83. What does that even?
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84. It means we have to silence,
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85. the echoing in the woods.
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86. Oh, man!
I don't know how to silence that!
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87. All right,
I'll handle this one, dude.
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88. No. This is my burden.
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89. Then just make her
think it's her idea.
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90. That's how you make the ladies
do what you want.
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91. Hey, monster lady!
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92. Stop crying!
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93. Stop crying
because that's what you want to do!
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94. She thinks you're her red-faced baby
or something.
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95. - I think she wants you to nurse, dude.
- No!
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96. Minstrel.
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97. He's Finn the blushing baby
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98. His cheeks are bright and red
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99. Be sure to make fun of him
before you go to bed
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100. Grandfathers will sing that
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101. to their grandchildren
for generations to come.
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102. Grandfathers will not sing that
to their children!
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103. Armor...
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104. Just wait till
I have the Armor of Zeldron!
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105. Yeah, just you wait, weirdo.
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106. Jake, you okay?
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107. Awesome!
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108. Finally.
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109. Hello.
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110. Begone, ghost!
I'm here for the armor!
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111. First, you have to beat my high score
in a game of drop ball.
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112. Drop ball?
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113. Drop ball is an extremely addictive,
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114. high-intensity game designed
for people everywhere.
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115. Here, let me show you.
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116. One point.
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117. Two points.
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118. - Three points.
- This game looks awful.
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119. Oh, no.
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120. I absolutely disagree.
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121. Dude, let's just kill him
and get the armor.
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122. How? He's already dead.
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123. Here. It's your turn.
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124. Now, I don't want you
to be intimidated,
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125. but my high score is six.
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126. Just... just toss it on the ground.
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127. No, no, no!
You're doing it all wrong!
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128. Let me show you how the pros do it.
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129. See? It's all in the technique.
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130. Now, I'm gonna put
a little finesse into it,
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131. just to shake things up.
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132. Finn, it's so beautiful!
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133. Yeah, guess all
the embarrassment was worth it.
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134. Greetings, young traveler.
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135. We know what you seek,
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136. and you shall receive it.
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137. Behold...
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138. the Armor of Zeldron.
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139. It will protect you from evil,
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140. even ghosts.
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141. No! Dude, this is lady armor!
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142. No, not...
No more embarrassment!
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143. I don't need armor!
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144. You did not watch
my drop-ball technique!
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145. I give you firsthand tips
that no one else knows,
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146. and this is how you thank me!
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147. I absolutely disagree with that!
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148. - Now what?
- Put on the armor.
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149. It'll protect you from evil,
even ghosts!
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150. Never!
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151. Mama?
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152. Yeah!
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153. Listen
when your mother is speaking to you.
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154. Yes, mama.
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155. You should be ashamed of yourself,
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156. a boy your age
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157. sitting in this cave alone
for thousands of years.
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158. You need to go outside
and get some sunlight.
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159. But...
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160. No back talk!
Outside now!
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161. Oh, thank you, Finn and Jake!
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162. You've freed me
from the addiction of drop ball.
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163. No problem, dude.
I couldn't have done it without...
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164. the power of embarrassment!
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165. And I learned
I don't need armor to be...
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166. Look at you losers.
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167. Finn, you don't have any armor,
and your friend is dressed like a lady.
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168. So not...
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169. Well, at least I don't spend my day
following a kid around!
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170. Get a life, dude!
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171. Good one, Finn.
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172. Well, I...
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173. just been in the same areas today.
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174. - Yeah, right.
- Whatever.
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175. Be quiet!
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176. I... I am more...
than all of you.
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177. Come over here
and say that to my fist!
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178. Okay, I will.
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179. This armor's too heavy!
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180. No problem. I'll just prop myself up
on this stick.
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181. Splinter!
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182. Hey, Sir Slicer,
maybe you can use this!
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183. Here you go!
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184. Free of charge.
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185. Come on, dude, let's get out of here.
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186. Okay, buddy.
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187. Dude, this armor is totally...
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