1. Smells lovely, that.Copy !req
2. Well, it is your birthday.Copy !req
3. I don't mind
giving you a full English once a year.Copy !req
4. Happy birthday, old man.Copy !req
5. I'm married to an old man.Copy !req
6. - And you're getting younger, are ya?
- I am, you cheeky get.Copy !req
7. I'm taking a special pill.Copy !req
8. Oh, what's that? Black pudding?Copy !req
9. - From the butchers and all.
- It's very bad for me.Copy !req
10. I know, but you like it very much.Copy !req
11. I like you more, though.Copy !req
12. Yeah. Only when I'm doing you a fry-up.Copy !req
13. No, no. Christmas as well,
when you've got your suzzies on and that.Copy !req
14. Hey!Copy !req
15. You leave my suspenders out of this.
You'll get yourself excited.Copy !req
16. What do you mean, "get myself"?Copy !req
17. Hey!Copy !req
18. - Maybe later.
- Come on, love. I'll only be five minutes.Copy !req
19. You're never five minutes.Copy !req
20. You're never five minutes.Copy !req
21. She won't get up till gone 12.Copy !req
22. Later. Come on, be good.
Concentrate on cards. Birthday cards.Copy !req
23. You're a spoilsport.Copy !req
24. Eggs, scrambled or poached?Copy !req
25. - Fried.
- You're dying young.Copy !req
26. I'm dyin' happy.Copy !req
27. Me dad and Jean.Copy !req
28. Written by Jean.Copy !req
29. A fiver.Copy !req
30. Can't even buy a pint
for a fiver these days, can ya?Copy !req
31. No.Copy !req
32. Aww. It's a lovely picture.Copy !req
33. He's made you look handsome.Copy !req
34. - It's good, innit?
- Yeah.Copy !req
35. He's put the effort in.Copy !req
36. - Shit. Dad? Dad, have you seen the van?
- Eh?Copy !req
37. - The van outside. Have you seen?
- No.Copy !req
38. - I…
- Huh?Copy !req
39. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
40. - Dad, I…
- Shit.Copy !req
41. I'm sorry. I…Copy !req
42. - I dunno what…
- Hey, it's not your fault.Copy !req
43. - They're such dickheads.
- Hey, language.Copy !req
44. Sorry.Copy !req
45. - Did you see anything, Eileen?
- No, nothing, Eddie.Copy !req
46. - You didn't see a thing, no?
- Sorry. It's been quiet this morning.Copy !req
47. - Right, go and phone the police.
- Again, you think?Copy !req
48. That's what he said.
Anything happens, give him a ring.Copy !req
49. Okay.Copy !req
50. - Dad, I'm sorry.
- Come here. It's not your fault. Come.Copy !req
51. It's all right.Copy !req
52. Happy birthday.Copy !req
53. They're all out, aren't they?Copy !req
54. Did you see anything, mate?Copy !req
55. - No?
- No, mate!Copy !req
56. - None of youse? Did you see anything?
- No. Sorry.Copy !req
57. Fuck.Copy !req
58. Right, a bit of soap and water
will get this off.Copy !req
59. Can't believe you never saw nothing.Copy !req
60. - When was the last time you seen the van?
- When I parked up last night.Copy !req
61. - What time was that?
- Dunno. Must've been about eight o'clock.Copy !req
62. - Eight o'clock?
- Yeah. About eight.Copy !req
63. Eight o'clock till now.Copy !req
64. "Nonce."Copy !req
65. Hang on.Copy !req
66. N-O-N-S-E.Copy !req
67. Yeah, I can see that.Copy !req
68. Well, I don't know.
Is that for me to decide?Copy !req
69. Maybe they think Jamie's a nonce.
Maybe they think Eddie's one.Copy !req
70. Do we take a picture?Copy !req
71. You don't need to come.Copy !req
72. Me husband'll take it off.
Should we take a picture?Copy !req
73. No. Sorry, love, I'm not waiting.
I'll take three pictures for you, okay?Copy !req
74. And I'll get me daughter to email them
over to you, okay? Thank you, love.Copy !req
75. Thank you.Copy !req
76. Take three pictures and email them to Sam.Copy !req
77. She's in me email contacts.Copy !req
78. Little twats.Copy !req
79. Hey.Copy !req
80. - Calm down.
- It's your birthday.Copy !req
81. Yeah, but they weren't to know that,
were they? Just calm down.Copy !req
82. Think of our Lisa.Copy !req
83. Thanks for letting me know.Copy !req
84. I'm not telling you
what you should be doing.Copy !req
85. I'm just saying,
let's think of her, shall we?Copy !req
86. Eddie, I've had enough of this.Copy !req
87. Please, love, don't start.
Don't say anything.Copy !req
88. - What am I saying?
- Look, you know what you're saying.Copy !req
89. And it's not happening. We're not having
this conversation. Not again, love.Copy !req
90. Right?Copy !req
91. We've been through it all.Copy !req
92. He's in the dock in four weeks.
Everyone'll be having a stare.Copy !req
93. Yeah, but not at us. Right?Copy !req
94. And he's behind a big screen, isn't he?
Look, they're hiding him, that's all.Copy !req
95. Yeah, they're doing a great job.Copy !req
96. They're protecting him. We've been through
all this with the lawyers.Copy !req
97. This isn't gonna get any better.Copy !req
98. - Me mum says she can get you work.
- I don't need your mum to get me work!Copy !req
99. What would I want your mum
to get me work for, eh?Copy !req
100. I've got work here.
Love, I've got lads that depend on me.Copy !req
101. I know that, but—Copy !req
102. Love, she's got college, hasn't she?Copy !req
103. Right? Do you wanna take her
out of college?Copy !req
104. Do you wanna ruin her fucking life
as well, eh?Copy !req
105. And you think moving back to Liverpool
it'll be any better?Copy !req
106. Because I promise you, it'll be ten times
fucking worse, and you know that.Copy !req
107. You know that, love.
You know it'll be worse.Copy !req
108. We've done nothing wrong, have we?Copy !req
109. - Have we done anything wrong? No.
- No.Copy !req
110. No, so we're not moving.
We're not moving, Mand. End of story.Copy !req
111. - Shit.
- It's all right.Copy !req
112. I'll clean… I'm so… I'm sorry about that.Copy !req
113. I'm sorry about that. I'll clean it up.Copy !req
114. - Dad?
- Hey, what are you doing there?Copy !req
115. You shouldn't be listening.Copy !req
116. Don't worry. I'll clean this off.Copy !req
117. Did you send the email?Copy !req
118. Yeah. Yeah. Um…Copy !req
119. - There's your phone.
- Thanks.Copy !req
120. Who are you texting?Copy !req
121. Billy.Copy !req
122. Oh right. And how is that?Copy !req
123. It's none of your business.Copy !req
124. Is Dad all right?Copy !req
125. Your dad's all right.Copy !req
126. I'm just giving him space,
because that's what I do.Copy !req
127. He loves that van.Copy !req
128. He doesn't love it. It's just a van.Copy !req
129. I don't know. I don't…Copy !req
130. I don't think soap
and water's gonna do anything to it.Copy !req
131. I don't know anything about paint. Do you?Copy !req
132. - You're fuming, aren't you?
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
133. I'm not.Copy !req
134. I… just don't understand
who the nonce is meant to be.Copy !req
135. I mean, he's 13. The fucking idiots
probably don't even know what it means.Copy !req
136. And, you know, it's obviously not Dad,
and I just… Jamie, he wasn't…Copy !req
137. He…Copy !req
138. I found myself in his room the other day,
giving it a hoover.Copy !req
139. Yeah?Copy !req
140. I didn't know what to do, really.Copy !req
141. I can't go in.Copy !req
142. - You're all right.
- Yeah.Copy !req
143. Is Billy looking after you?Copy !req
144. Mum, Billy doesn't look after me.
Can you stop saying that?Copy !req
145. I can… I can look after myself, right?
I do look after myself.Copy !req
146. You know, no one's…Copy !req
147. No one's written "nonce" on my locker
at school, so there's that.Copy !req
148. - Okay.
- Mand, where's that big sponge?Copy !req
149. It's under the sink.Copy !req
150. - It's not! I can't find it!
- It is. Just look.Copy !req
151. I'm looking!Copy !req
152. All right, I'll be down now.
I'd better go and help your dad.Copy !req
153. Want a cup of tea?Copy !req
154. No, I'm all right.Copy !req
155. Okay. I love you.Copy !req
156. I love you too.Copy !req
157. - Did you find it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
158. - Want a cup of tea?
- No, you're all right.Copy !req
159. - You all right, Eileen?
- Yeah, Eddie, thanks.Copy !req
160. - Do you want a chair, love?
- No.Copy !req
161. - A chair to rest your legs?
- No, I'm all right.Copy !req
162. - Fancy a brew, love?
- No, I'm fine.Copy !req
163. Might have a bit of birthday cake,
if you want some.Copy !req
164. No? Fuck off, then, you nosy old cow.Copy !req
165. All right, nonce!Copy !req
166. Hey? Hey!Copy !req
167. - Hey!
- All right, nonce!Copy !req
168. Did you do that to my van?Copy !req
169. Did ya?Copy !req
170. Nonce!Copy !req
171. Hey, nonce!Copy !req
172. Excuse, love. Watch out. Sorry.Copy !req
173. - It's not coming off.
- Isn't it?Copy !req
174. No.Copy !req
175. - Do you want to try some bleach?
- That won't work.Copy !req
176. Sorry.Copy !req
177. - We'll have to go to Wainwrights.
- Now?Copy !req
178. - Yeah, now. We'll have to go now.
- Why?Copy !req
179. Because I need to get it off,
Mand. I can't…Copy !req
180. I can't turn up for work
with that on my fucking van, can I? Hey?Copy !req
181. - I know, but—
- Can I? No, I can't.Copy !req
182. So, come on, let's go now.
Won't be long. Come on, let's go. Lisa!Copy !req
183. - Lisa, get downstairs, love!
- What?Copy !req
184. Put your coat on.
We're going to Wainwrights.Copy !req
185. - Can't I just stay here?
- No, you can't stay here.Copy !req
186. Someone vandalized the van.Copy !req
187. Who knows what they'll do next?
Not leaving you here on your own.Copy !req
188. Why would I wanna go?Copy !req
189. - Because I'm asking you to go!
- Eddie, I've got the breakfast on.Copy !req
190. Girls, please!
Please, girls, do me a favor.Copy !req
191. Please, help me out, love. I'm trying.Copy !req
192. All right. Yeah, we'll all go.Copy !req
193. - We'll get the day back.
- Yeah? Hey?Copy !req
194. - We'll get the day back.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
195. - Yeah.
- Get the day back.Copy !req
196. - I'll turn this off.
- It is me birthday, isn't it? Hey?Copy !req
197. Let's get the day back.Copy !req
198. So, going to Wainwrights
is some big birthday treat, then?Copy !req
199. Yeah. It is for me.Copy !req
200. I used to have fuck all when I was a kid.
Count yourself lucky.Copy !req
201. Didn't even get a tangerine, me.
Right, in you go.Copy !req
202. - Lock that door properly, love.
- I have.Copy !req
203. Keep your eye on our house,
Eileen, would you?Copy !req
204. Of course I will, love.Copy !req
205. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
206. Make sure you text
Neighborhood Watch as well.Copy !req
207. Eddie.Copy !req
208. Well, just saying.Copy !req
209. - Right on the fence.
- Ta-ra, love!Copy !req
210. Fucking nosy old bag.Copy !req
211. Right. Let's get the day back,
shall we? Hey?Copy !req
212. - Yeah.
- That's what you said, didn't ya?Copy !req
213. Lise, put some music on, love.Copy !req
214. Make sure you pick a good tune
with a bass line.Copy !req
215. What are you on about?Copy !req
216. All good music
has to have a proper bass line.Copy !req
217. Know what I mean?
You need a good bass guitar.Copy !req
218. None of this plinky-plonk shite
or your drum and bass bollocks.Copy !req
219. Give me a proper bass line
I can sink me teeth into.Copy !req
220. You talk such rubbish.Copy !req
221. And another thing,Copy !req
222. when we get back from Wainwrights,
we're going on an outing.Copy !req
223. - An outing?
- Yes, we're going on an outing.Copy !req
224. A family outing.Copy !req
225. And what will you do
on your family outing?Copy !req
226. I don't know.Copy !req
227. - Climb a hill or something.
- A hill?Copy !req
228. Yeah. And we'll go to the zoo.Copy !req
229. I'm not going to a zoo.
I'm almost 18.Copy !req
230. - All right, we'll go ice skating, then.
- You, ice skating?Copy !req
231. Yeah. What's wrong with me ice skating?Copy !req
232. - All right, we'll go to the pictures.
- Yeah, I'd, um… I do that.Copy !req
233. - If I had to do anything, I'd do that.
- Yeah?Copy !req
234. - Yeah.
- Pictures?Copy !req
235. - Yeah.
- All right, sweet. Pictures it is, then.Copy !req
236. - Mand, do you fancy the pictures?
- Yeah.Copy !req
237. Yeah? All right. Have a look
on t'internet and see what's on.Copy !req
238. What's got into you?Copy !req
239. Nothing's got into me, love.Copy !req
240. I'm just… interested in solving…Copy !req
241. - Solving the problem of today.
- The problem of today.Copy !req
242. And I'm helping.Copy !req
243. Thank you.Copy !req
244. "Solving the problem of today"?Copy !req
245. - It's what the therapist has been saying.
- What are we solving?Copy !req
246. Nothing.Copy !req
247. I just think it'd be a good idea
for us to go to the pictures. That's all.Copy !req
248. Yeah. We'll have breakfast first,
though, hey?Copy !req
249. Yeah.Copy !req
250. She's making me a full English.
With black pudding and everything.Copy !req
251. - Black pudding?
- Mm.Copy !req
252. I got some in for your dad.Copy !req
253. You know, you are dying young.Copy !req
254. That's what I said!Copy !req
255. And I'm having fried bread.Copy !req
256. And I've got some lovely bread in
for that as well.Copy !req
257. She's a fine woman, your mother.Copy !req
258. So you tell me.Copy !req
259. - Hey!
- Sorry.Copy !req
260. Right, so that's it, then. Sorted.
We've got our day back, kids.Copy !req
261. Come here, get the stuff,
back to the gaff,Copy !req
262. me and our Lise'll get the paint off
while you cook the breakfast,Copy !req
263. we'll all get changed, go to the pictures,
and have a massive tub of popcorn.Copy !req
264. - Ooh, yeah.
- Can we go for a Chinese?Copy !req
265. - Yes, we can.
- Yes!Copy !req
266. What do you want?Copy !req
267. I want all of it.Copy !req
268. - All of it?
- All of it. I'm so hungry.Copy !req
269. Okay.Copy !req
270. It's ages since I've gone to the pictures.Copy !req
271. - Yeah.
- Found a tune yet?Copy !req
272. I dunno. I don't really know
what's got bass.Copy !req
273. Put on…Copy !req
274. Just type in, "a-ha."Copy !req
275. Like, "a-ha."Copy !req
276. "Take On Me."Copy !req
277. - What? That hasn't got a bass line.
- It has!Copy !req
278. - No, it hasn't.
- It has!Copy !req
279. - They didn't even have a bass player.
- They did. Paul.Copy !req
280. - Who?
- Paul.Copy !req
281. He played the bass.
He could play the drums and everything.Copy !req
282. - Are you sure?
- I'm positive. I was in the fan club.Copy !req
283. Oh my God.Copy !req
284. - You was as well, weren't ya?
- I was.Copy !req
285. Your ma had posters on her wall.
She had badges, scarves.Copy !req
286. - I loved those badges.
- You have never told me that, ever.Copy !req
287. Do you know, years ago, right, early days,Copy !req
288. when me and your dad were just going out,
it was at one of our first school discos,Copy !req
289. and you decided to test me.Copy !req
290. - It wasn't a test.
- It was.Copy !req
291. It wasn't a test. I'm telling ya.Copy !req
292. Your dad, right,
he wore this daft pink wig.Copy !req
293. Everyone was laughing, but your dad
never cared when people laughed at him.Copy !req
294. Hey, I loved that wig.
That wig was boss.Copy !req
295. And it was the middle of the night,
so, like, no one was dancing yet.Copy !req
296. And we were what? About 13?Copy !req
297. - We were in third year.
- That's Year 9 in your language.Copy !req
298. And the DJ was Mr. Barnes,
our geography teacher.Copy !req
299. - Slaphead.
- Yeah. Slaphead.Copy !req
300. He was getting desperate
'cause no one was dancing,Copy !req
301. 'cause, like, everyone was just too shy.Copy !req
302. - A-ha was top of the charts at the time.
- Yeah.Copy !req
303. And your dad… This was bonkers.Copy !req
304. He starts dancing on his own
in the middle of the dance floor.Copy !req
305. - No, it wasn't like that.
- It was.Copy !req
306. Right. No, Barnesy was a great teacher,
right? But he was a crap DJ.Copy !req
307. I was just giving him a hand.
I was helping him out.Copy !req
308. And everyone was just standing there,
laughing their heads off at your dad.Copy !req
309. - They weren't laughing.
- They was.Copy !req
310. No one was laughing, love.Copy !req
311. They were loving
me Northern soul dance moves.Copy !req
312. - Northern soul?
- Yeah.Copy !req
313. - Is it that one?
- I was a brilliant dancer.Copy !req
314. - You was.
- You know I was.Copy !req
315. But then, right,Copy !req
316. he starts slipping and sliding
all over the floor.Copy !req
317. Yeah, but tell the truth why, though.
Tell her why.Copy !req
318. - Why?
- Right? No, tell the truth.Copy !req
319. I bought these pair of red
and white bowling shoes, right, from a…Copy !req
320. No, from a charity shop
to go with me wig. Right?Copy !req
321. But I had no idea that these shoes,
they had no grip.Copy !req
322. - Because they're bowling shoes!
- They had no grip.Copy !req
323. So then… he slides, slips,Copy !req
324. splits his legs in two,
landed flat on his face.Copy !req
325. Bosh.Copy !req
326. And then he stood up,
and he'd smacked his nose.Copy !req
327. And there was just blood
hammering down his face,Copy !req
328. and everyone was just pissing themselves.Copy !req
329. And then he said, "I'm bleeding here!"Copy !req
330. For years in school, everyone'd
just shout it at you, wouldn't they?Copy !req
331. They'd be like, "I'm bleeding here!"Copy !req
332. - Fucking shitty shoes.
- It was funny, though, Ed.Copy !req
333. I'm glad you found it funny, love.Copy !req
334. I loved them all.
I would've done anything for any of them.Copy !req
335. Right. She would've done
anything for any of 'em.Copy !req
336. If your ma would've had her way,
you'd have looked completely different.Copy !req
337. You'd have looked like one of them…Copy !req
338. You'd have had a Norwegian kipper.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
339. You'd have looked like Erling Haaland
or something like that.Copy !req
340. - It's coming up now, where you slipped.
- You remember it?Copy !req
341. It's no better to be safe than sorryCopy !req
342. "I'm bleeding here!"Copy !req
343. On meCopy !req
344. Take on meCopy !req
345. Take me onCopy !req
346. The rest of the night,
we just stayed sat together, didn't we?Copy !req
347. I couldn't dance again
in them shoes, could I?Copy !req
348. Then you walked me home.
Well, I walked, and you slid.Copy !req
349. Your nana and granddad
were waiting up for me.Copy !req
350. Me dad said, "Have you been in a fight?"Copy !req
351. And you went, "Something like that."
Dead hard. "Something like that."Copy !req
352. - Then you snogged the gob off me.
- Dad!Copy !req
353. - Oh my God.
- You did.Copy !req
354. Dad, no, stop!Copy !req
355. She did. First time
she ever gave me a frenchie.Copy !req
356. - Dad!
- I'll never forget it.Copy !req
357. - Full tongue and everything.
- Dad!Copy !req
358. - Love, you swallowed me tonsils.
- Ugh, Dad!Copy !req
359. Uhh, maybe I did.Copy !req
360. But you are really good at holding hands.Copy !req
361. - Shall we hold hands in here?
- Yeah.Copy !req
362. - No.
- Oh, why not?Copy !req
363. - No.
- We'll embarrass our daughter, will we?Copy !req
364. - No, just don't want to.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
365. You should be made up.
You're a child born of love.Copy !req
366. Dad, stop.Copy !req
367. You know, a child
made of romance and petals.Copy !req
368. No! No!Copy !req
369. Yeah. You little love child, you.Copy !req
370. Come on.Copy !req
371. - Child made of rainbows—
- Dad!Copy !req
372. And dandelions and daffodils.Copy !req
373. Yeah, all right.Copy !req
374. So immature. The pair of you. Children.Copy !req
375. So, what exactly
are we looking for, then?Copy !req
376. Uh…Copy !req
377. I dunno. Just something
to get the paint off.Copy !req
378. - Mm.
- I'll meet youse back here, yeah?Copy !req
379. What are we supposed to do?Copy !req
380. I dunno. Spend some money or something.
You're good at that, aren't ya?Copy !req
381. - Yeah, we are, lovely.
- We are good at that.Copy !req
382. Come on, let's spend some money.Copy !req
383. Excuse me, mate.Copy !req
384. - You all right, fella?
- Uh…Copy !req
385. Someone's put some spray paint on me van.
Wondering if you knew how I get it off.Copy !req
386. Oh yeah. Um…Copy !req
387. Not up on that really. But me colleague,
he might be able to sort you out.Copy !req
388. Okay.Copy !req
389. Quint?Copy !req
390. Where's he gone now? Quint?Copy !req
391. - Yeah, he's good with stuff like that.
- Okay.Copy !req
392. - You all right?
- Yeah, mate.Copy !req
393. Fella says he's got some spray paint
on his van. Wants to remove it.Copy !req
394. Oh no. Have you tried water and soap?Copy !req
395. Yeah, didn't touch it, mate.Copy !req
396. How powerful was your hose?Copy !req
397. I used a sponge.Copy !req
398. Okay. Well, you'll need to hose it.Copy !req
399. Then, use a paint thinner,
or strong alcohol.Copy !req
400. Vodka would do. Isopropanol, better.Copy !req
401. Then a microfiber towel.
Use that in a circular motion.Copy !req
402. What's that?Copy !req
403. We sell 'em. Um…Copy !req
404. - Follow me.
- Ta, mate.Copy !req
405. So, yeah, circular motion with a towel.Copy !req
406. Bit of a prayer. Best you can do, really.Copy !req
407. Bit of a prayer?
Won't the towel thing get it off, no?Copy !req
408. Well, you'll probably have the residue.Copy !req
409. No, if you want it all off,
it's a respray job.Copy !req
410. What is it?Copy !req
411. A tag?Copy !req
412. God, kids.
I blame the parents, me.Copy !req
413. Can you just show me
where the blue paint is, please?Copy !req
414. Well, no, if it's paint,
like I said, you'll want it resprayed.Copy !req
415. I can't afford that, mate.
Just show us where your blue paint is.Copy !req
416. Any color will do, really.
It doesn't have to match.Copy !req
417. - I just need to get the thing off me van.
- Hey, I've just worked out who you are.Copy !req
418. I've seen photos of you on Facebook.Copy !req
419. - Can you just show us where the paint is?
- Yeah. Just up here.Copy !req
420. - Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you.
- It's all right.Copy !req
421. It's just, uh…Copy !req
422. Well, I'm on your side, you know.Copy !req
423. Your son's side. For what it's worth.Copy !req
424. Because he didn't do it, did he? I mean…Copy !req
425. Well, even the stab wounds,
where they said there were stab wounds,Copy !req
426. there's bone in the penetration spots.Copy !req
427. If you're making stuff up,
at least make it anatomically possible.Copy !req
428. Do you know what I mean?Copy !req
429. And, uh…Copy !req
430. Well, I've seen the photos of her.Copy !req
431. So you've got my support—Copy !req
432. - Can you just get me the paint?
- Sorry, yeah.Copy !req
433. - I just want the paint.
- Sure. Just…Copy !req
434. You should get him a good lawyer.Copy !req
435. If you crowdfund it,
lots of us would get behind it.Copy !req
436. Here's your paint.Copy !req
437. Dad. Dad.Copy !req
438. You know, um,Copy !req
439. I think there's people
actually here for a proper day out…Copy !req
440. Next, please.Copy !req
441. - Anything else for you today?
- No, ta.Copy !req
442. - Interest in joining the club?
- No, you're all right.Copy !req
443. No? No worries at all, then.
£34.99 altogether, please.Copy !req
444. - Dad, you all right?
- Receipt?Copy !req
445. No, ta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm all right.Copy !req
446. Yeah. Just… I'm just hungry, that's all.Copy !req
447. Okay.Copy !req
448. - Got a lovely plant. Isn't it lovely?
- Nice.Copy !req
449. I think a fella in tires
was eyeing me up, you know.Copy !req
450. We'll have to tell our Jane to come here.
It's a great place to pick up a fella.Copy !req
451. What?Copy !req
452. That's him, isn't it?Copy !req
453. - Who?
- Is he following me?Copy !req
454. They're taking the piss, aren't they?
Taking me for a twat?Copy !req
455. - Eddie!
- Shit!Copy !req
456. - Come here, you little shit!
- Eddie!Copy !req
457. Come here. Fucking get up!Copy !req
458. - Eddie!
- Did you do that to my van?Copy !req
459. - What?
- Did you do that to my van?Copy !req
460. - It was just a laugh.
- Well, it's not fucking funny, is it? Hey?Copy !req
461. Is it funny?Copy !req
462. Don't smile, kid, 'cause I'll slap
that fucking smile off your face.Copy !req
463. Don't you fucking ever!Copy !req
464. Listen to me, you little twat. Get up!Copy !req
465. - Get up! Listen to me!
- All right.Copy !req
466. - You don't do that to people. Understand?
- Yeah.Copy !req
467. You don't know
what the fuck I've been going through.Copy !req
468. Don't fucking laugh at me, boy!
Don't laugh at me!Copy !req
469. Don't laugh at me.Copy !req
470. Go on, fuck off.Copy !req
471. You stay away from my family!Copy !req
472. - Come on, hurry up.
- What you doing, man? Go!Copy !req
473. Wait up!Copy !req
474. Take your fucking bike as well!Copy !req
475. - Come on.
- Wait.Copy !req
476. What are you doing?
What are you doing? Eddie!Copy !req
477. Eddie, come on.Copy !req
478. Eddie, please. Come on.Copy !req
479. Let's just get in the van
so we can go home.Copy !req
480. Give us that plant.
Give me the plant, love.Copy !req
481. Give me the plant. Give us your bag.Copy !req
482. Give us your bag.
Come on, give me your bag.Copy !req
483. Right, come on, girls.
Get in the other side, please.Copy !req
484. - Are you gonna clean that up?
- You what?Copy !req
485. Are you gonna clean that up?Copy !req
486. - No.
- It's a mess, pal.Copy !req
487. - I've paid for it.
- You need to clean it up.Copy !req
488. - Not gonna happen.
- Come on, Eddie!Copy !req
489. - You're on camera—
- You fucking shut up, you dickhead!Copy !req
490. - You shut up and get in the fucking shop!
- You're on camera.Copy !req
491. - Get in the van!
- You and your fucking mate, weird twat!Copy !req
492. Dad, should I… should I answer?Copy !req
493. Go ahead.Copy !req
494. - This is a message from…
- Jamie Miller.Copy !req
495. …at Standling Secure Training Centre.Copy !req
496. This call is from a person currently
in a prison in England or Wales.Copy !req
497. All calls are logged and recordedCopy !req
498. and may be listened to by a member
of prison staff.Copy !req
499. If you do not wish to accept this call,
please hang up now.Copy !req
500. Dad?Copy !req
501. Hello, lad.Copy !req
502. Just wanted to say happy birthday.Copy !req
503. Thanks, mate.Copy !req
504. Thanks for calling.Copy !req
505. Did you get my card?Copy !req
506. I did, yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
507. And did you draw it?Copy !req
508. Yeah, I did.Copy !req
509. Thought so.Copy !req
510. I said to your mum,
I thought it was really good.Copy !req
511. Forgot how much you used to love drawing.Copy !req
512. Yeah. That's why I've started again.Copy !req
513. Is everything all right?Copy !req
514. Now the noise has settled down and that?Copy !req
515. Uh, yeah. It's all right.Copy !req
516. The librarian's all right with me, butCopy !req
517. I've been getting some bother in the yard,
but it's nothing.Copy !req
518. You know what to do, don't you, lad?Copy !req
519. Yeah. Yeah. I've got people to talk to.Copy !req
520. Good.Copy !req
521. What are you doing today, then?Copy !req
522. I was just gonna have some breakfast.Copy !req
523. - You haven't had breakfast yet?
- No.Copy !req
524. No, not yet, lad. We've been busy.Copy !req
525. Oh.Copy !req
526. I think we're gonna go
to the pictures later.Copy !req
527. And then our Lise wants a Chinese.Copy !req
528. Kung po king prawn?Copy !req
529. Yeah, you know the order, lad.Copy !req
530. Got any good presents, Dad?Copy !req
531. No, not yet.
We haven't done pressies yet, Jay.Copy !req
532. Um…Copy !req
533. - Dad?
- Yeah?Copy !req
534. Uh, I…Copy !req
535. I… I know today's not the day for it,
but it just happened, you know, and—Copy !req
536. What's happened, lad?Copy !req
537. Just tell me.
Forget it's me birthday. What's going on?Copy !req
538. Well…Copy !req
539. Well, with it all getting closer, I…Copy !req
540. I… I've thought about it, and…Copy !req
541. Dad, I'm gonna change my plea.Copy !req
542. Hello?Copy !req
543. Dad, I'm…Copy !req
544. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna plead guilty.Copy !req
545. Hiya, son. We're here as well.Copy !req
546. Hiya, Jay.Copy !req
547. What?Copy !req
548. Oh.Copy !req
549. Has the food got any better, love?Copy !req
550. Uh, yeah, it's fine.
I thought it was just me and Dad here.Copy !req
551. I wrote to them about your intolerances.Copy !req
552. Did you? That's fine.Copy !req
553. Are you still in the gym all the time?Copy !req
554. Only when I'm allowed.Copy !req
555. Are you gonna turn into
a bodybuilder or something?Copy !req
556. Not really, no.Copy !req
557. Anyway… I'd better get off
'cause there's other people waiting.Copy !req
558. All right, son.Copy !req
559. Usual time, end of the week, yeah?Copy !req
560. Perfect.Copy !req
561. - Dad?
- Yeah?Copy !req
562. I'm… I'm… I'm sorry.Copy !req
563. And… and happy birthday.Copy !req
564. Thank—Copy !req
565. Get out this side.Copy !req
566. Watch the paint.Copy !req
567. Is he gonna be all right?Copy !req
568. He'll be all right. Come on.Copy !req
569. Come on.Copy !req
570. What happened there, love?
Kids, was it?Copy !req
571. Fuck off, Eileen.Copy !req
572. He hasn't fixed these windows properly.Copy !req
573. They didn't seal it right.
Did you feel a draft last night?Copy !req
574. - Is that the top that I got ya?
- Should've done it meself.Copy !req
575. Yeah.Copy !req
576. - Yeah.
- It looks so lovely on you, that.Copy !req
577. You're not bad for 50.Copy !req
578. Let's leave going to the pictures.Copy !req
579. No, you're all right.
I've got changed now.Copy !req
580. It's okay. We'll just leave it.Copy !req
581. No, it's all right. We'll go.Copy !req
582. It's okay.Copy !req
583. - You sure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
584. Ta.Copy !req
585. I thought he sounded better
than last week.Copy !req
586. Didn't he?Copy !req
587. Maybe making a decision
has made it a little better, eh?Copy !req
588. - You remember what Jenny said?
- Yeah.Copy !req
589. Yeah, I do. And I'm not.Copy !req
590. I'm not blocking ya.
Honest, I'm not. I'm not doing that.Copy !req
591. - Why are you being like this?
- Being like what, love?Copy !req
592. You were the one in with him.Copy !req
593. I've never even seen the tape.Copy !req
594. Please, let's not do all this again.Copy !req
595. That's becoming your catchphrase,
isn't it?Copy !req
596. "Let's not do this.
Let's not do that again."Copy !req
597. I mean me being in there, you not being
in there. Can we not do that again?Copy !req
598. - That wasn't what I was saying.
- Well, what are you saying then?Copy !req
599. You saw the tape. I didn't.Copy !req
600. This isn't you.Copy !req
601. Threatening kids. Wrecking your van.Copy !req
602. I know you're angry.Copy !req
603. But him going guilty
is probably for the best.Copy !req
604. And if you were honest,
you'd see that as well.Copy !req
605. I saw what I saw.Copy !req
606. And I didn't wanna believe it.Copy !req
607. And then, when I saw it…Copy !req
608. Eddie, I've known you
since you've had bum fluff.Copy !req
609. We've gotta survive this.Copy !req
610. What if we can't?Copy !req
611. Jenny says that when we feel like—Copy !req
612. Fuck what Jenny says, love.Copy !req
613. Fuck what Jenny says.
She's not here now, is she?Copy !req
614. He never left his room.Copy !req
615. He'd come home, slam the door,
straight up the stairs on the computer.Copy !req
616. I'd see the light on
at one o'clock in the morning.Copy !req
617. And I'd knock, and I'd say,Copy !req
618. "Jamie, come on, son.
You've got school tomorrow."Copy !req
619. And the light'd turn off,
but he never said nothing.Copy !req
620. We couldn't do nothing about that.Copy !req
621. All kids are like that
these days, aren't they?Copy !req
622. You don't know
what they're watching in their room.Copy !req
623. Could be watching porn or anything.
Do you know what I mean?Copy !req
624. Look at that fella
that popped up on my phone,Copy !req
625. going on about how to treat women,
how men should be men, and all that shit.Copy !req
626. I was only looking
for something for the gym, weren't I?Copy !req
627. You can't keep an eye on them
all the time, love. We just can't.Copy !req
628. He has a terrible temper. But so have you.Copy !req
629. Don't say that.Copy !req
630. Well, I didn't give him that, did I?Copy !req
631. - What, did I give him that?
- No.Copy !req
632. But I do sometimes think
we should have stopped it.Copy !req
633. Seen it and stopped it.Copy !req
634. We can't think like that.Copy !req
635. Remember? That's what she said.Copy !req
636. It's not our fault.Copy !req
637. Can't blame ourselves.Copy !req
638. But we made him, didn't we?Copy !req
639. When I was his age,
my dad used to fucking batter me.Copy !req
640. Sometimes he'd take the belt at me,
and he'd fucking whack me,Copy !req
641. and he'd whack me.Copy !req
642. And I promised meself…Copy !req
643. I said, "When I have my own kids,
I'd never do that."Copy !req
644. I'd never… I'd never do that to me kids.Copy !req
645. And I didn't, did I?Copy !req
646. I just wanted to be better.Copy !req
647. But am I?Copy !req
648. Am I better?Copy !req
649. You tried to be.Copy !req
650. We both did.Copy !req
651. Yeah, I tried to be.Copy !req
652. I took him to footy, didn't I?
'Cause I thought it'd toughen him up.Copy !req
653. No, but he was crap.Copy !req
654. So they just stuck him in goal.Copy !req
655. And I just stood there
on the side of the pitchCopy !req
656. while all the other dads
were laughing at him.Copy !req
657. And I could feel him looking at me.Copy !req
658. And I couldn't look at him, Mand.Copy !req
659. I couldn't look at me own boy.Copy !req
660. He idolized you.Copy !req
661. And then, I took him boxing.Copy !req
662. I thought that'd make a difference.Copy !req
663. Well, that lasted ten minutes.Copy !req
664. I know.Copy !req
665. - He used to draw downstairs, remember?
- Yeah.Copy !req
666. Remember he sat at the table,
the kitchen table, and he'd draw pictures.Copy !req
667. - And he was good, wasn't he?
- Yeah, he loved it.Copy !req
668. He was really good. He loved it.
He was there for hours, wasn't he?Copy !req
669. Then he stopped that.Copy !req
670. He wanted a computer,
so we got him the computer.Copy !req
671. We got him the desk and everything.
The keyboard, the headset, all that stuff.Copy !req
672. And I used to play the footy with him.
Remember I played the footy with him?Copy !req
673. Yeah.Copy !req
674. And then the business took off, didn't it?Copy !req
675. I'd have to leave at 6:00,
and I wouldn't get back till 8:00.Copy !req
676. I was home earlier, and I did no better.Copy !req
677. You were a good mum.Copy !req
678. You are a good mum.Copy !req
679. Maybe I took my eye off the ball
a little bit.Copy !req
680. But he was in his room, weren't he?Copy !req
681. - We thought he was safe, didn't we?
- Yeah.Copy !req
682. Didn't we think he was safe?Copy !req
683. You know, what harm can he do in there?Copy !req
684. I thought we were doing the right thing.Copy !req
685. I was a good mum.Copy !req
686. - You was.
- I am a good mum.Copy !req
687. You're a good dad. A great dad.Copy !req
688. But we made him.Copy !req
689. So if my dad made me…Copy !req
690. how did I make that?Copy !req
691. Come here.Copy !req
692. We didn't know what he was gonna do.Copy !req
693. That's why he wanted you in there
with him. He knew you wouldn't believe it.Copy !req
694. He thought you'd protect him.Copy !req
695. Should I have protected him?Copy !req
696. You couldn't.Copy !req
697. - Could I have protected him?
- No.Copy !req
698. Should we have done more though?Copy !req
699. I think it'd be goodCopy !req
700. if we accepted
that maybe we should've done.Copy !req
701. I think it'd be okay for us to think that.Copy !req
702. I still see that little boy.Copy !req
703. A bit gormless.Copy !req
704. Swinging on the monkey bars.Copy !req
705. Drawing pictures downstairs of monsters.Copy !req
706. Eating choc ice.Copy !req
707. And he'd get it
all over his face, wouldn't he?Copy !req
708. It'd be all over his face.Copy !req
709. His little face.Copy !req
710. It feels like it was yesterday.Copy !req
711. It was.Copy !req
712. It was.Copy !req
713. He just kept saying it over and over.Copy !req
714. He just kept saying, "It wasn't me."Copy !req
715. "Dad, it wasn't me."Copy !req
716. And I believed him.Copy !req
717. And then I saw the tape.Copy !req
718. How?Copy !req
719. I wish it had been you.Copy !req
720. I wish he'd have picked you.
You'd have done better.Copy !req
721. - No.
- Yeah, you would.Copy !req
722. No.Copy !req
723. You'd have done better.Copy !req
724. Are you guys all right?Copy !req
725. - Yeah. You all right, love?
- Yeah.Copy !req
726. Is that new? It's lovely.Copy !req
727. - Yeah.
- No, it's not new. I'm probably just…Copy !req
728. Probably just wearing it different 'cause…Copy !req
729. You know, guys, it's the combinations.Copy !req
730. I talk about it all the time.
Combinations are everything.Copy !req
731. I just… I just thought,
"When else do I get to look a bit nice?"Copy !req
732. It's Dad's birthday, you know.Copy !req
733. Is that the top that Mum got ya?Copy !req
734. Yeah.Copy !req
735. It's nice.Copy !req
736. - I should put something nice on as well.
- No.Copy !req
737. You look lovely as you are.Copy !req
738. Lisa, I'm sorry, love.Copy !req
739. - Them lads and this stuff with the van.
- Dad, the van…Copy !req
740. It's fine. I mean, the van looks worse,
but you can't read the word on it anymore.Copy !req
741. I'll get it resprayed.Copy !req
742. Was it them lads?Copy !req
743. Yeah, do you know them?Copy !req
744. Yeah. They're…Copy !req
745. - They're dickheads, to be honest.
- Hey, language.Copy !req
746. Sorry.Copy !req
747. - Have they caused you any trouble?
- Dad, ev—Copy !req
748. Everyone causes me trouble.Copy !req
749. Jamie's sister.Copy !req
750. But we're staying here.Copy !req
751. We're not moving. We can't move.Copy !req
752. - We could do though.
- No, Mum…Copy !req
753. Mum, if we move,
it'll be better for a bit.Copy !req
754. But then someone's
gonna find out something,Copy !req
755. and then that… that something
is gonna be everything,Copy !req
756. and then it'll just be even worse.Copy !req
757. You know…Copy !req
758. It's Jamie.Copy !req
759. Jamie's ours.Copy !req
760. Isn't he?Copy !req
761. We thought we'd leave
going to the pictures.Copy !req
762. Yeah. That's, um…Copy !req
763. That's good. We can, um…Copy !req
764. - We can rent a film here?
- Yeah.Copy !req
765. - That's a good idea.
- Yeah, we could find some popcorn.Copy !req
766. - We've got popcorn somewhere.
- Yeah.Copy !req
767. - We can get takeaway.
- Yes!Copy !req
768. - Yeah.
- Please.Copy !req
769. Prawn crackers for everyone?Copy !req
770. Prawn crackers for everyone.Copy !req
771. Shall we have some breakfast?Copy !req
772. - A sort of breakfast?
- Yeah.Copy !req
773. Come on.Copy !req
774. That black pudding
will be sprouting legs and walking soon.Copy !req
775. - Um, I'll set the table.
- Thank you.Copy !req
776. - I'll give you a hand.
- You're coming nowhere near, birthday boy.Copy !req
777. How did we make her?Copy !req
778. The same way we made him.Copy !req
779. I'm sorry, son.Copy !req
780. I should've done better.Copy !req