1. Smells lovely, that.Copy !req
2. Well, it is your birthday.Copy !req
3. I don't mind
giving you a full English once a year.Copy !req
4. Happy birthday, old man.Copy !req
5. I'm married to an old man.Copy !req
6. - And you're getting younger, are ya?
- I am, you cheeky get.Copy !req
7. I'm taking a special pill.Copy !req
8. Oh, what's that? Black pudding?Copy !req
9. - From the butchers and all.
- It's very bad for me.Copy !req
10. I know, but you like it very much.Copy !req
11. I like you more, though.Copy !req
12. Yeah. Only when I'm doing you a fry-up.Copy !req
13. No, no. Christmas as well,
when you've got your suzzies on and that.Copy !req
14. Hey!Copy !req
15. You leave my suspenders out of this.
You'll get yourself excited.Copy !req
16. What do you mean, "get myself"?Copy !req
17. Hey!Copy !req
18. - Maybe later.
- Come on, love. I'll only be five minutes.Copy !req
19. You're never five minutes.Copy !req
20. - Five minutes.
- She won't get up till gone 12.Copy !req
21. She won't sleep till 12 on her dad's 50th.Copy !req
22. Later. Come on, be good.
Concentrate on cards. Birthday cards.Copy !req
23. You're a spoilsport.Copy !req
24. Eggs, scrambled or poached?Copy !req
25. - Fried.
- You're dying young.Copy !req
26. I'm dyin' happy.Copy !req
27. Me dad and Jean.Copy !req
28. Written by Jean.Copy !req
29. A fiver.Copy !req
30. Can't even buy a pint
for a fiver these days, can ya?Copy !req
31. No.Copy !req
32. Aww. It's a lovely picture.Copy !req
33. He's made you look handsome.Copy !req
34. - It's good, innit?
- Yeah.Copy !req
35. He's put the effort in.Copy !req
36. - Shit. Dad? Dad, have you seen the van?
- Eh?Copy !req
37. - The van outside. Have you seen?
- No.Copy !req
38. - I...
- Huh?Copy !req
39. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
40. - Dad, I...
- Shit.Copy !req
41. I'm sorry. I...Copy !req
42. - I dunno what...
- Hey, it's not your fault.Copy !req
43. - They're such dickheads.
- Hey, language.Copy !req
44. Sorry.Copy !req
45. - Did you see anything, Eileen?
- No, nothing, Eddie.Copy !req
46. - You didn't see a thing, no?
- Sorry. It's been quiet this morning.Copy !req
47. - Right, go and phone the police.
- Again, you think?Copy !req
48. That's what he said.
Anything happens, give him a ring.Copy !req
49. Okay.Copy !req
50. - Dad, I'm sorry.
- Come here. It's not your fault. Come.Copy !req
51. It's all right.Copy !req
52. Happy birthday.Copy !req
53. They're all out, aren't they?Copy !req
54. Did you see anything, mate?Copy !req
55. - No?
- No, mate!Copy !req
56. - None of youse? Did you see anything?
- No. Sorry.Copy !req
57. Fuck.Copy !req
58. Right, a bit of soap and water
will get this off.Copy !req
59. Can't believe you never saw nothing.Copy !req
60. - When was the last time you seen the van?
- When I parked up last night.Copy !req
61. - What time was that?
- Dunno. Must've been about eight o'clock.Copy !req
62. - Eight o'clock?
- Yeah. About eight.Copy !req
63. Eight o'clock till now.Copy !req
64. "Nonce."Copy !req
65. Hang on.Copy !req
66. N-O-N-S-E.Copy !req
67. Yeah, I can see that.Copy !req
68. Well, I don't know.
Is that for me to decide?Copy !req
69. Maybe they think Jamie's a nonce.
Maybe they think Eddie's one.Copy !req
70. Do we take a picture?Copy !req
71. You don't need to come.Copy !req
72. Me husband'll take it off.
Should we take a picture?Copy !req
73. No. Sorry, love, I'm not waiting.
I'll take three pictures for you, okay?Copy !req
74. And I'll get me daughter to email them
over to you, okay? Thank you, love.Copy !req
75. Thank you.Copy !req
76. Take three pictures and email them to Sam.Copy !req
77. She's in me email contacts.Copy !req
78. Little twats.Copy !req
79. Hey.Copy !req
80. - Calm down.
- It's your birthday.Copy !req
81. Yeah, but they weren't to know that,
were they? Just calm down.Copy !req
82. Think of our Lisa.Copy !req
83. Thanks for letting me know.Copy !req
84. I'm not telling you
what you should be doing.Copy !req
85. I'm just saying,
let's think of her, shall we?Copy !req
86. Eddie, I've had enough of this.Copy !req
87. Please, love, don't start.
Don't say anything.Copy !req
88. - What am I saying?
- Look, you know what you're saying.Copy !req
89. And it's not happening. We're not having
this conversation. Not again, love.Copy !req
90. Right?Copy !req
91. We've been through it all.Copy !req
92. He's in the dock in four weeks.
Everyone'll be having a stare.Copy !req
93. Yeah, but not at us. Right?Copy !req
94. And he's behind a big screen, isn't he?
Look, they're hiding him, that's all.Copy !req
95. Yeah, they're doing a great job.Copy !req
96. They're protecting him. We've been through
all this with the lawyers.Copy !req
97. This isn't gonna get any better.Copy !req
98. - Me mum says she can get you work.
- I don't need your mum to get me work!Copy !req
99. What would I want your mum
to get me work for, eh?Copy !req
100. I've got work here.
Love, I've got lads that depend on me.Copy !req
101. I know that, but—Copy !req
102. Love, she's got college, hasn't she?Copy !req
103. Right? Do you wanna take her
out of college?Copy !req
104. Do you wanna ruin her fucking life
as well, eh?Copy !req
105. And you think moving back to Liverpool
it'll be any better?Copy !req
106. Because I promise you, it'll be ten times
fucking worse, and you know that.Copy !req
107. You know that, love.
You know it'll be worse.Copy !req
108. We've done nothing wrong, have we?Copy !req
109. - Have we done anything wrong? No.
- No.Copy !req
110. No, so we're not moving.
We're not moving, Mand. End of story.Copy !req
111. - Shit.
- It's all right.Copy !req
112. I'll clean... I'm so... I'm sorry about that.Copy !req
113. I'm sorry about that. I'll clean it up.Copy !req
114. - Dad?
- Hey, what are you doing there?Copy !req
115. You shouldn't be listening.Copy !req
116. Don't worry. I'll clean this off.Copy !req
117. Did you send the email?Copy !req
118. Yeah. Yeah. Um...Copy !req
119. - There's your phone.
- Thanks.Copy !req
120. Who are you texting?Copy !req
121. Billy.Copy !req
122. Oh right. And how is that?Copy !req
123. It's none of your business.Copy !req
124. Is Dad all right?Copy !req
125. Your dad's all right.Copy !req
126. I'm just giving him space,
because that's what I do.Copy !req
127. He loves that van.Copy !req
128. He doesn't love it. It's just a van.Copy !req
129. I don't know. I don't...Copy !req
130. I don't think soap
and water's gonna do anything to it.Copy !req
131. I don't know anything about paint. Do you?Copy !req
132. - You're fuming, aren't you?
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
133. I'm not.Copy !req
134. I... just don't understand
who the nonce is meant to be.Copy !req
135. I mean, he's 13. The fucking idiots
probably don't even know what it means.Copy !req
136. And, you know, it's obviously not Dad,
and I just... Jamie, he wasn't...Copy !req
137. He...Copy !req
138. I found myself in his room the other day,
giving it a hoover.Copy !req
139. Yeah?Copy !req
140. I didn't know what to do, really.Copy !req
141. I can't go in.Copy !req
142. You're all right.Copy !req
143. Is Billy looking after you?Copy !req
144. Mum, Billy doesn't look after me.
Can you stop saying that?Copy !req
145. I can... I can look after myself, right?
I do look after myself.Copy !req
146. You know, no one's...Copy !req
147. No one's written "nonce" on my locker
at school, so there's that.Copy !req
148. - Okay.
- Mand, where's that big sponge?Copy !req
149. It's under the sink.Copy !req
150. - It's not! I can't find it!
- It is. Just look.Copy !req
151. I'm looking!Copy !req
152. All right, I'll be down now.
I'd better go and help your dad.Copy !req
153. Want a cup of tea?Copy !req
154. No, I'm all right.Copy !req
155. Okay. I love you.Copy !req
156. I love you too.Copy !req
157. - Did you find it?
- Yeah.Copy !req
158. - Want a cup of tea?
- No, you're all right.Copy !req
159. - You all right, Eileen?
- Yeah, Eddie, thanks.Copy !req
160. - Do you want a chair, love?
- No.Copy !req
161. - A chair to rest your legs?
- No, I'm all right.Copy !req
162. - Fancy a brew, love?
- No, I'm fine.Copy !req
163. Might have a bit of birthday cake,
if you want some.Copy !req
164. No? Fuck off, then, you nosy old cow.Copy !req
165. All right, nonce!Copy !req
166. Hey? Hey!Copy !req
167. - Hey!
- All right, nonce!Copy !req
168. Did you do that to my van?Copy !req
169. Did ya?Copy !req
170. Nonce!Copy !req
171. Hey, nonce!Copy !req
172. Excuse, love. Watch out. Sorry.Copy !req
173. - It's not coming off.
- Isn't it?Copy !req
174. No.Copy !req
175. - Do you want to try some bleach?
- That won't work.Copy !req
176. Sorry.Copy !req
177. - We'll have to go to Wainwrights.
- Now?Copy !req
178. - Yeah, now. We'll have to go now.
- Why?Copy !req
179. Because I need to get it off,
Mand. I can't...Copy !req
180. I can't turn up for work
with that on my fucking van, can I? Hey?Copy !req
181. - I know, but—
- Can I? No, I can't.Copy !req
182. So, come on, let's go now.
Won't be long. Come on, let's go. Lisa!Copy !req
183. - Lisa, get downstairs, love!
- What?Copy !req
184. Put your coat on.
We're going to Wainwrights.Copy !req
185. - Can't I just stay here?
- No, you can't stay here.Copy !req
186. Someone vandalized the van.Copy !req
187. Who knows what they'll do next?
Not leaving you here on your own.Copy !req
188. Why would I wanna go?Copy !req
189. - Because I'm asking you to go!
- Eddie, I've got the breakfast on.Copy !req
190. Girls, please!
Please, girls, do me a favor.Copy !req
191. Please, help me out, love. I'm trying.Copy !req
192. All right. Yeah, we'll all go.Copy !req
193. - We'll get the day back.
- Yeah? Hey?Copy !req
194. - We'll get the day back.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
195. - Yeah.
- Get the day back.Copy !req
196. - I'll turn this off.
- It is me birthday, isn't it? Hey?Copy !req
197. Let's get the day back.Copy !req
198. So, going to Wainwrights
is some big birthday treat, then?Copy !req
199. Yeah. It is for me.Copy !req
200. I used to have fuck all when I was a kid.
Count yourself lucky.Copy !req
201. Didn't even get a tangerine, me.
Right, in you go.Copy !req
202. - Lock that door properly, love.
- I have.Copy !req
203. Keep your eye on our house,
Eileen, would you?Copy !req
204. Of course I will, love.Copy !req
205. - Yeah?
- I'll keep an eye on it.Copy !req
206. Make sure you text
Neighborhood Watch as well.Copy !req
207. Eddie.Copy !req
208. Well, just saying.Copy !req
209. - Right on the fence.
- Ta-ra, love!Copy !req
210. Fucking nosy old bag.Copy !req
211. Right. Let's get the day back,
shall we? Hey?Copy !req
212. - Yeah.
- That's what you said, didn't ya?Copy !req
213. Lise, put some music on, love.Copy !req
214. Make sure you pick a good tune
with a bass line.Copy !req
215. What are you on about?Copy !req
216. All good music
has to have a proper bass line.Copy !req
217. Know what I mean?
You need a good bass guitar.Copy !req
218. None of this plinky-plonk shite
or your drum and bass bollocks.Copy !req
219. Give me a proper bass line
I can sink me teeth into.Copy !req
220. You talk such rubbish.Copy !req
221. And another thing,Copy !req
222. when we get back from Wainwrights,
we're going on an outing.Copy !req
223. - An outing?
- Yes, we're going on an outing.Copy !req
224. A family outing.Copy !req
225. And what will you do
on your family outing?Copy !req
226. I don't know.Copy !req
227. - Climb a hill or something.
- A hill?Copy !req
228. Yeah. And we'll go to the zoo.Copy !req
229. I'm not going to a zoo.
I'm almost 18.Copy !req
230. - All right, we'll go ice skating, then.
- You, ice skating?Copy !req
231. Yeah. What's wrong with me ice skating?Copy !req
232. - All right, we'll go to the pictures.
- Yeah, I'd, um... I do that.Copy !req
233. - If I had to do anything, I'd do that.
- Yeah?Copy !req
234. - Yeah.
- Pictures?Copy !req
235. - Yeah.
- All right, sweet. Pictures it is, then.Copy !req
236. - Mand, do you fancy the pictures?
- Yeah.Copy !req
237. Yeah? All right. Have a look
on t'internet and see what's on.Copy !req
238. What's got into you?Copy !req
239. Nothing's got into me, love.Copy !req
240. I'm just... interested in solving...Copy !req
241. - Solving the problem of today.
- The problem of today.Copy !req
242. And I'm helping.Copy !req
243. Thank you.Copy !req
244. "Solving the problem of today"?Copy !req
245. - It's what the therapist has been saying.
- What are we solving?Copy !req
246. Nothing.Copy !req
247. I just think it'd be a good idea
for us to go to the pictures. That's all.Copy !req
248. Yeah. We'll have breakfast first,
though, hey?Copy !req
249. Yeah.Copy !req
250. She's making me a full English.
With black pudding and everything.Copy !req
251. - Black pudding?
- Mm.Copy !req
252. I got some in for your dad.Copy !req
253. - You know, you are dying young.
- That's what I said.Copy !req
254. And I'm having fried bread.Copy !req
255. And I've got some lovely bread in
for that as well.Copy !req
256. She's a fine woman, your mother.Copy !req
257. So you tell me.Copy !req
258. - Hey!
- Sorry.Copy !req
259. Right, so that's it, then. Sorted.
We've got our day back, kids.Copy !req
260. Come here, get the stuff,
back to the gaff,Copy !req
261. me and our Lise'll get the paint off
while you cook the breakfast,Copy !req
262. we'll all get changed, go to the pictures,
and have a massive tub of popcorn.Copy !req
263. - Ooh, yeah.
- Can we go for a Chinese?Copy !req
264. - Yes, we can.
- Yes!Copy !req
265. What do you want?Copy !req
266. I want all of it.Copy !req
267. - All of it?
- All of it. I'm so hungry.Copy !req
268. Okay.Copy !req
269. It's ages since I've gone to the pictures.Copy !req
270. - Yeah.
- Found a tune yet?Copy !req
271. I dunno. I don't really know
what's got bass.Copy !req
272. Put on...Copy !req
273. Just type in, "a-ha."Copy !req
274. Like, "a-ha."Copy !req
275. "Take On Me."Copy !req
276. - What? That hasn't got a bass line.
- It has!Copy !req
277. - No, it hasn't.
- It has!Copy !req
278. - They didn't even have a bass player.
- They did. Paul.Copy !req
279. - Who?
- Paul.Copy !req
280. He played the bass.
He could play the drums and everything.Copy !req
281. - Are you sure?
- I'm positive. I was in the fan club.Copy !req
282. Oh my God.Copy !req
283. - You was as well, weren't ya?
- I was.Copy !req
284. Your ma had posters on her wall.
She had badges, scarves.Copy !req
285. - I loved those badges.
- You have never told me that, ever.Copy !req
286. Do you know, years ago, right, early days,Copy !req
287. when me and your dad were just going out,
it was at one of our first school discos,Copy !req
288. and you decided to test me.Copy !req
289. - It wasn't a test.
- It was.Copy !req
290. It wasn't a test. I'm telling ya.Copy !req
291. Your dad, right,
he wore this daft pink wig.Copy !req
292. Everyone was laughing, but your dad
never cared when people laughed at him.Copy !req
293. Hey, I loved that wig. That wig was boss.Copy !req
294. And it was the middle of the night,
so, like, no one was dancing yet.Copy !req
295. And we were what? About 13?Copy !req
296. - We were in third year.
- That's Year 9 in your language.Copy !req
297. And the DJ was Mr. Barnes,
our geography teacher.Copy !req
298. - Slaphead.
- Yeah. Slaphead.Copy !req
299. He was getting desperate
'cause no one was dancing,Copy !req
300. 'cause, like, everyone was just too shy.Copy !req
301. - A-ha was top of the charts at the time.
- Yeah.Copy !req
302. And your dad... This was bonkers.Copy !req
303. He starts dancing on his own
in the middle of the dance floor.Copy !req
304. - No, it wasn't like that.
- It was.Copy !req
305. Right. No, Barnesy was a great teacher,
right? But he was a crap DJ.Copy !req
306. I was just giving him a hand.
I was helping him out.Copy !req
307. And everyone was just standing there,
laughing their heads off at your dad.Copy !req
308. - They weren't laughing.
- They was.Copy !req
309. No one was laughing, love.Copy !req
310. They were loving
me Northern soul dance moves.Copy !req
311. - Northern soul?
- Yeah.Copy !req
312. - Is it that one?
- I was a brilliant dancer.Copy !req
313. - You was.
- You know I was.Copy !req
314. But then, right,Copy !req
315. he starts slipping and sliding
all over the floor.Copy !req
316. Yeah, but tell the truth why, though.
Tell her why.Copy !req
317. - Why?
- Right? No, tell the truth.Copy !req
318. I bought these pair of red
and white bowling shoes, right, from a...Copy !req
319. No, from a charity shop
to go with me wig. Right?Copy !req
320. But I had no idea that these shoes,
they had no grip.Copy !req
321. - Because they're bowling shoes!
- They had no grip.Copy !req
322. So then... he slides, slips,Copy !req
323. splits his legs in two,
landed flat on his face.Copy !req
324. Bosh.Copy !req
325. And then he stood up,
and he'd smacked his nose.Copy !req
326. And there was just blood
hammering down his face,Copy !req
327. and everyone was just pissing themselves.Copy !req
328. And then he said, "I'm bleeding here!"Copy !req
329. For years in school, everyone'd
just shout it at you, wouldn't they?Copy !req
330. They'd be like, "I'm bleeding here!"Copy !req
331. - Fucking shitty shoes.
- It was funny, though, Ed.Copy !req
332. I'm glad you found it funny, love.Copy !req
333. I loved them all.
I would've done anything for any of them.Copy !req
334. Right. She would've done
anything for any of 'em.Copy !req
335. If your ma would've had her way,
you'd have looked completely different.Copy !req
336. You'd have looked like one of them...Copy !req
337. You'd have had a Norwegian kipper.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
338. You'd have looked like Erling Haaland
or something like that.Copy !req
339. - It's coming up now, where you slipped.
- You remember it?Copy !req
340. "I'm bleeding here!"Copy !req
341. The rest of the night,
we just stayed sat together, didn't we?Copy !req
342. I couldn't dance again
in them shoes, could I?Copy !req
343. Then you walked me home.
Well, I walked, and you slid.Copy !req
344. Your nana and granddad
were waiting up for me.Copy !req
345. Me dad said, "Have you been in a fight?"Copy !req
346. And you went, "Something like that."
Dead hard. "Something like that."Copy !req
347. - Then you snogged the gob off me.
- Dad!Copy !req
348. - Oh my God.
- You did.Copy !req
349. Dad, no, stop!Copy !req
350. She did. First time
she ever gave me a frenchie.Copy !req
351. - Dad!
- I'll never forget it.Copy !req
352. - Full tongue and everything.
- Dad!Copy !req
353. - Love, you swallowed me tonsils.
- Ugh, Dad!Copy !req
354. Well, maybe I did.Copy !req
355. But you are really good at holding hands.Copy !req
356. - Shall we hold hands in here?
- Yeah.Copy !req
357. - No.
- Oh, why not?Copy !req
358. - No.
- We'll embarrass our daughter, will we?Copy !req
359. - No, just don't want to.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
360. You should be made up.
You're a child born of love.Copy !req
361. Dad, stop.Copy !req
362. You know, a child
made of romance and petals.Copy !req
363. No! No!Copy !req
364. Yeah. You little love child, you.Copy !req
365. Come on.Copy !req
366. - Child made of rainbows—
- Dad!Copy !req
367. And dandelions and daffodils.Copy !req
368. Yeah, all right.Copy !req
369. So immature. The pair of you. Children.Copy !req
370. So, what exactly
are we looking for, then?Copy !req
371. Uh...Copy !req
372. I dunno. Just something
to get the paint off.Copy !req
373. - Mm.
- I'll meet youse back here, yeah?Copy !req
374. What are we supposed to do?Copy !req
375. I dunno. Spend some money or something.
You're good at that, aren't ya?Copy !req
376. - We are. Lovely.
- We are good at that.Copy !req
377. Come on, let's spend some money.Copy !req
378. Excuse me, mate.Copy !req
379. - You all right, fella?
- Uh...Copy !req
380. Someone's put some spray paint on me van.
Wondering if you knew how I get it off.Copy !req
381. Oh yeah. Um...Copy !req
382. Not up on that really. But me colleague,
he might be able to sort you out.Copy !req
383. Okay.Copy !req
384. Quint?Copy !req
385. Where's he gone now? Quint?Copy !req
386. - Yeah, he's good with stuff like that.
- Okay.Copy !req
387. - You all right?
- Yeah, mate.Copy !req
388. Fella says he's got some spray paint
on his van. Wants to remove it.Copy !req
389. Oh no. Have you tried water and soap?Copy !req
390. Yeah, didn't touch it, mate.Copy !req
391. How powerful was your hose?Copy !req
392. I used a sponge.Copy !req
393. Okay. Well, you'll need to hose it.Copy !req
394. Then, use a paint thinner,
or strong alcohol.Copy !req
395. Vodka would do. Isopropanol, better.Copy !req
396. Then a microfiber towel.
Use that in a circular motion.Copy !req
397. What's that?Copy !req
398. We sell 'em. Um...Copy !req
399. - Follow me.
- Ta, mate.Copy !req
400. So, yeah,
circular motion with a towel.Copy !req
401. Bit of a prayer. Best you can do, really.Copy !req
402. Bit of a prayer?
Won't the towel thing get it off, no?Copy !req
403. Well, you'll probably have the residue.Copy !req
404. No, if you want it all off,
it's a respray job.Copy !req
405. What is it?Copy !req
406. A tag?Copy !req
407. God, kids.
I blame the parents, me.Copy !req
408. Can you just show me
where the blue paint is, please?Copy !req
409. Well, no, if it's paint,
like I said, you'll want it resprayed.Copy !req
410. I can't afford that, mate.
Just show us where your blue paint is.Copy !req
411. Any color will do, really.
It doesn't have to match.Copy !req
412. - I just need to get the thing off me van.
- Hey, I've just worked out who you are.Copy !req
413. I've seen photos of you on Facebook.Copy !req
414. - Can you just show us where the paint is?
- Yeah. Just up here.Copy !req
415. - Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you.
- It's all right.Copy !req
416. It's just, uh...Copy !req
417. Well, I'm on your side, you know.Copy !req
418. Your son's side. For what it's worth.Copy !req
419. Because he didn't do it, did he? I mean...Copy !req
420. Well, even the stab wounds,
where they said there were stab wounds,Copy !req
421. there's bone in the penetration spots.Copy !req
422. If you're making stuff up,
at least make it anatomically possible.Copy !req
423. Do you know what I mean?Copy !req
424. And, uh...Copy !req
425. Well, I've seen the photos of her.Copy !req
426. So you've got my support—Copy !req
427. - Can you just get me the paint?
- Sorry, yeah.Copy !req
428. - I just want the paint.
- Sure. Just...Copy !req
429. You should get him a good lawyer.Copy !req
430. If you crowdfund it,
lots of us would get behind it.Copy !req
431. Here's your paint.Copy !req
432. Dad. Dad.Copy !req
433. You know, um,Copy !req
434. I think there's people
actually here for a proper day out...Copy !req
435. Next, please.Copy !req
436. - Anything else for you today?
- No, ta.Copy !req
437. - Interest in joining the club?
- No, you're all right.Copy !req
438. No? No worries at all, then.
£34.99 altogether, please.Copy !req
439. - Dad, you all right?
- Receipt?Copy !req
440. No, ta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm all right.Copy !req
441. Yeah. Just... I'm just hungry, that's all.Copy !req
442. Okay.Copy !req
443. - Got a lovely plant. Isn't it lovely?
- Nice.Copy !req
444. I think a fella in tires
was eyeing me up, you know.Copy !req
445. We'll have to tell our Jane to come here.
It's a great place to pick up a fella.Copy !req
446. What?Copy !req
447. That's him, isn't it?Copy !req
448. - Who?
- Is he following me?Copy !req
449. They're taking the piss, aren't they?
Taking me for a twat?Copy !req
450. - Eddie!
- Shit!Copy !req
451. - Come here, you little shit!
- Eddie!Copy !req
452. Come here. Fucking get up!Copy !req
453. - Eddie!
- Did you do that to my van?Copy !req
454. - What?
- Did you do that to my van?Copy !req
455. - It was just a laugh.
- Well, it's not fucking funny, is it? Hey?Copy !req
456. Is it funny?Copy !req
457. Don't smile, kid, 'cause I'll slap
that fucking smile off your face.Copy !req
458. Don't you fucking ever!Copy !req
459. Listen to me, you little twat. Get up!Copy !req
460. - Get up! Listen to me!
- All right.Copy !req
461. - You don't do that to people. Understand?
- Yeah.Copy !req
462. You don't know
what the fuck I've been going through.Copy !req
463. Don't fucking laugh at me, boy!
Don't laugh at me!Copy !req
464. Don't laugh at me.Copy !req
465. Go on, fuck off.Copy !req
466. You stay away from my family!Copy !req
467. - Come on, hurry up.
- What you doing, man? Go!Copy !req
468. Take your fucking bike as well!Copy !req
469. - Come on.
- Wait.Copy !req
470. What are you doing?
What are you doing? Eddie!Copy !req
471. Eddie, come on.Copy !req
472. Eddie, please. Come on.Copy !req
473. Let's just get in the van
so we can go home.Copy !req
474. Give us that plant.
Give me the plant, love.Copy !req
475. Give me the plant. Give us your bag.Copy !req
476. Give us your bag.
Come on, give me your bag.Copy !req
477. Right, come on, girls.
Get in the other side, please.Copy !req
478. - Are you gonna clean that up?
- You what?Copy !req
479. Are you gonna clean that up?Copy !req
480. - No.
- It's a mess, pal.Copy !req
481. - I've paid for it.
- You need to clean it up.Copy !req
482. - Not gonna happen.
- Eddie!Copy !req
483. - You're on camera—
- You fucking shut up, you dickhead!Copy !req
484. - You shut up and get in the fucking shop!
- You're on camera.Copy !req
485. - Get in the van!
- You and your fucking mate, weird twat!Copy !req
486. Dad, should I... should I answer?Copy !req
487. Go ahead.Copy !req
488. - This is a message from...
- Jamie.Copy !req
489. at Standling Secure
Training Centre.Copy !req
490. This call is from a person currently
in a prison in England or Wales.Copy !req
491. All calls are recordedCopy !req
492. and may be listened to by a member
of prison staff.Copy !req
493. If you do not wish to accept this call,
please hang up now.Copy !req
494. Dad?Copy !req
495. Hello, lad.Copy !req
496. Just wanted to say happy birthday.Copy !req
497. Thanks, mate.Copy !req
498. Thanks for calling.Copy !req
499. Did you get my card?Copy !req
500. I did, yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
501. And did you draw it?Copy !req
502. Yeah, I did.Copy !req
503. Thought so.Copy !req
504. I said to your mum,
I thought it was really good.Copy !req
505. Forgot how much you used to love drawing.Copy !req
506. Yeah. That's why I've started again.Copy !req
507. Is everything all right?Copy !req
508. Now the noise has settled down and that?Copy !req
509. Uh, yeah. It's all right.Copy !req
510. The librarian's all right with me, butCopy !req
511. I've been getting some bother in the yard,
but it's nothing.Copy !req
512. You know what to do,
don't you, lad?Copy !req
513. Yeah. Yeah. I've got people to talk to.Copy !req
514. Good.Copy !req
515. What are you doing today, then?Copy !req
516. I was just gonna have
some breakfast.Copy !req
517. - You haven't had breakfast yet?
- No.Copy !req
518. No, not yet, lad. We've been busy.Copy !req
519. Oh.Copy !req
520. I think we're gonna go
to the pictures later.Copy !req
521. And then our Lise wants a Chinese.Copy !req
522. Kung po king prawn?Copy !req
523. Yeah, you know the order, lad.Copy !req
524. Got any good presents, Dad?Copy !req
525. No, not yet.
We haven't done pressies yet, Jay.Copy !req
526. Um...Copy !req
527. - Dad?
- Yeah?Copy !req
528. Uh, I...Copy !req
529. I... I know today's not the day for it,
but it just happened, you know, and—Copy !req
530. What's happened, lad?Copy !req
531. Just tell me.
Forget it's me birthday. What's going on?Copy !req
532. Well...Copy !req
533. Well, with it all getting closer, I...Copy !req
534. I... I've thought about it, and...Copy !req
535. Dad, I'm gonna change my plea.Copy !req
536. Hello?Copy !req
537. Dad, I'm...Copy !req
538. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna plead guilty.Copy !req
539. Hiya, son. We're here as well.Copy !req
540. Hiya, Jay.Copy !req
541. What?Copy !req
542. Oh.Copy !req
543. Has the food got any better, love?Copy !req
544. Uh, yeah, it's fine.
I thought it was just me and Dad here.Copy !req
545. I wrote to them about your intolerances.Copy !req
546. Did you? That's fine.Copy !req
547. Are you still
in the gym all the time?Copy !req
548. Only when I'm allowed.Copy !req
549. Are you gonna turn into
a bodybuilder or something?Copy !req
550. Not really, no.Copy !req
551. Anyway... I'd better get off
'cause there's other people waiting.Copy !req
552. All right, son.Copy !req
553. Usual time, end of the week, yeah?Copy !req
554. Perfect.Copy !req
555. - Dad?
- Yeah?Copy !req
556. I'm... I'm... I'm sorry.Copy !req
557. And... and happy birthday.Copy !req
558. Thank—Copy !req
559. Get out this side.Copy !req
560. Watch the paint.Copy !req
561. Is he gonna be all right?Copy !req
562. He'll be all right. Come on.Copy !req
563. Come on.Copy !req
564. What happened there, love?
Kids, was it?Copy !req
565. Fuck off, Eileen.Copy !req
566. He hasn't fixed these windows properly.Copy !req
567. They didn't seal it right.
Did you feel a draft last night?Copy !req
568. - Is that the top that I got ya?
- Should've done it meself.Copy !req
569. Yeah.Copy !req
570. - Yeah.
- It looks so lovely on you, that.Copy !req
571. You're not bad for 50.Copy !req
572. Let's leave going to the pictures.Copy !req
573. No, you're all right.
I've got changed now.Copy !req
574. It's okay. We'll just leave it.Copy !req
575. No, it's all right. We'll go.Copy !req
576. It's okay.Copy !req
577. - You sure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
578. Ta.Copy !req
579. I thought he sounded better
than last week.Copy !req
580. Didn't he?Copy !req
581. Maybe making a decision
has made it a little better, eh?Copy !req
582. - You remember what Jenny said?
- Yeah.Copy !req
583. Yeah, I do. And I'm not.Copy !req
584. I'm not blocking ya.
Honest, I'm not. I'm not doing that.Copy !req
585. - Why are you being like this?
- Being like what, love?Copy !req
586. You were the one in with him.Copy !req
587. I've never even seen the tape.Copy !req
588. Please, let's not do all this again.Copy !req
589. That's becoming your catchphrase,
isn't it?Copy !req
590. "Let's not do this.
Let's not do that again."Copy !req
591. I mean me being in there, you not being
in there. Can we not do that again?Copy !req
592. - That wasn't what I was saying.
- Well, what are you saying then?Copy !req
593. You saw the tape. I didn't.Copy !req
594. This isn't you.Copy !req
595. Threatening kids. Wrecking your van.Copy !req
596. I know you're angry.Copy !req
597. But him going guilty
is probably for the best.Copy !req
598. And if you were honest,
you'd see that as well.Copy !req
599. I saw what I saw.Copy !req
600. And I didn't wanna believe it.Copy !req
601. And then, when I saw it...Copy !req
602. Eddie, I've known you
since you've had bum fluff.Copy !req
603. We've gotta survive this.Copy !req
604. What if we can't?Copy !req
605. Jenny says that when we feel like—Copy !req
606. Fuck what Jenny says, love.Copy !req
607. Fuck what Jenny says.
She's not here now, is she?Copy !req
608. He never left his room.Copy !req
609. He'd come home, slam the door,
straight up the stairs on the computer.Copy !req
610. I'd see the light on
at one o'clock in the morning.Copy !req
611. And I'd knock, and I'd say,Copy !req
612. "Jamie, come on, son.
You've got school tomorrow."Copy !req
613. And the light'd turn off,
but he never said nothing.Copy !req
614. We couldn't do nothing about that.Copy !req
615. All kids are like that
these days, aren't they?Copy !req
616. You don't know
what they're watching in their room.Copy !req
617. Could be watching porn or anything.
Do you know what I mean?Copy !req
618. Look at that fella
that popped up on my phone,Copy !req
619. going on about how to treat women,
how men should be men, and all that shit.Copy !req
620. I was only looking
for something for the gym, weren't I?Copy !req
621. You can't keep an eye on them
all the time, love. We just can't.Copy !req
622. He has a terrible temper. But so have you.Copy !req
623. Don't say that.Copy !req
624. Well, I didn't give him that, did I?Copy !req
625. - What, did I give him that?
- No.Copy !req
626. But I do sometimes think
we should have stopped it.Copy !req
627. Seen it and stopped it.Copy !req
628. We can't think like that.Copy !req
629. Remember? That's what she said.Copy !req
630. It's not our fault.Copy !req
631. Can't blame ourselves.Copy !req
632. But we made him, didn't we?Copy !req
633. When I was his age,
my dad used to fucking batter me.Copy !req
634. Sometimes he'd take the belt at me,
and he'd fucking whack me,Copy !req
635. and he'd whack me.Copy !req
636. And I promised meself...Copy !req
637. I said, "When I have my own kids,
I'd never do that."Copy !req
638. I'd never... I'd never do that to me kids.Copy !req
639. And I didn't, did I?Copy !req
640. I just wanted to be better.Copy !req
641. But am I?Copy !req
642. Am I better?Copy !req
643. You tried to be.Copy !req
644. We both did.Copy !req
645. Yeah, I tried to be.Copy !req
646. I took him to footy, didn't I?
'Cause I thought it'd toughen him up.Copy !req
647. No, but he was crap.Copy !req
648. So they just stuck him in goal.Copy !req
649. And I just stood there
on the side of the pitchCopy !req
650. while all the other dads
were laughing at him.Copy !req
651. And I could feel him looking at me.Copy !req
652. And I couldn't look at him, Mand.Copy !req
653. I couldn't look at me own boy.Copy !req
654. He idolized you.Copy !req
655. And then, I took him boxing.Copy !req
656. I thought that'd make a difference.Copy !req
657. Well, that lasted ten minutes.Copy !req
658. I know.Copy !req
659. - He used to draw downstairs, remember?
- Yeah.Copy !req
660. Remember he sat at the table,
the kitchen table, and he'd draw pictures.Copy !req
661. - And he was good, wasn't he?
- Yeah, he loved it.Copy !req
662. He was really good. He loved it.
He was there for hours, wasn't he?Copy !req
663. Then he stopped that.Copy !req
664. He wanted a computer,
so we got him the computer.Copy !req
665. We got him the desk and everything.
The keyboard, the headset, all that stuff.Copy !req
666. And I used to play the footy with him.
Remember I played the footy with him?Copy !req
667. Yeah.Copy !req
668. And then the business took off, didn't it?Copy !req
669. I'd have to leave at 6:00,
and I wouldn't get back till 8:00.Copy !req
670. I was home earlier, and I did no better.Copy !req
671. You were a good mum.Copy !req
672. You are a good mum.Copy !req
673. Maybe I took my eye off the ball
a little bit.Copy !req
674. But he was in his room, weren't he?Copy !req
675. - We thought he was safe, didn't we?
- Yeah.Copy !req
676. Didn't we think he was safe?Copy !req
677. You know, what harm can he do in there?Copy !req
678. I thought we were doing the right thing.Copy !req
679. I was a good mum.Copy !req
680. - You was.
- I am a good mum.Copy !req
681. You're a good dad. A great dad.Copy !req
682. But we made him.Copy !req
683. So if my dad made me...Copy !req
684. how did I make that?Copy !req
685. Come here.Copy !req
686. We didn't know what he was gonna do.Copy !req
687. That's why he wanted you in there
with him. He knew you wouldn't believe it.Copy !req
688. He thought you'd protect him.Copy !req
689. Should I have protected him?Copy !req
690. You couldn't.Copy !req
691. - Could I have protected him?
- No.Copy !req
692. Should we have done more though?Copy !req
693. I think it'd be goodCopy !req
694. if we accepted
that maybe we should've done.Copy !req
695. I think it'd be okay for us to think that.Copy !req
696. I still see that little boy.Copy !req
697. A bit gormless.Copy !req
698. Swinging on the monkey bars.Copy !req
699. Drawing pictures downstairs of monsters.Copy !req
700. Eating choc ice.Copy !req
701. And he'd get it
all over his face, wouldn't he?Copy !req
702. It'd be all over his face.Copy !req
703. His little face.Copy !req
704. It feels like it was yesterday.Copy !req
705. It was.Copy !req
706. It was.Copy !req
707. He just kept saying it over and over.Copy !req
708. He just kept saying, "It wasn't me."Copy !req
709. "Dad, it wasn't me."Copy !req
710. And I believed him.Copy !req
711. And then I saw the tape.Copy !req
712. How?Copy !req
713. I wish it had been you.Copy !req
714. I wish he'd have picked you.
You'd have done better.Copy !req
715. - No.
- Yeah, you would.Copy !req
716. No.Copy !req
717. You'd have done better.Copy !req
718. Are you guys all right?Copy !req
719. - Yeah. You all right, love?
- Yeah.Copy !req
720. Is that new? It's lovely.Copy !req
721. - Yeah.
- No, it's not new. I'm probably just...Copy !req
722. Probably just wearing it different 'cause...Copy !req
723. You know, guys, it's the combinations.Copy !req
724. I talk about it all the time.
Combinations are everything.Copy !req
725. I just... I just thought,
"When else do I get to look a bit nice?"Copy !req
726. It's Dad's birthday, you know.Copy !req
727. Is that the top that Mum got ya?Copy !req
728. Yeah.Copy !req
729. It's nice.Copy !req
730. - I should put something nice on as well.
- No.Copy !req
731. You look lovely as you are.Copy !req
732. Lisa, I'm sorry, love.Copy !req
733. - Them lads and this stuff with the van.
- Dad, the van...Copy !req
734. It's fine. I mean, the van looks worse,
but you can't read the word on it anymore.Copy !req
735. I'll get it resprayed.Copy !req
736. Was it them lads?Copy !req
737. Yeah, do you know them?Copy !req
738. Yeah. They're...Copy !req
739. - They're dickheads, to be honest.
- Hey, language.Copy !req
740. Sorry.Copy !req
741. - Have they caused you any trouble?
- Dad, ev—Copy !req
742. Everyone causes me trouble.Copy !req
743. Jamie's sister.Copy !req
744. But we're staying here.Copy !req
745. We're not moving. We can't move.Copy !req
746. - We could do though.
- No, Mum...Copy !req
747. Mum, if we move,
it'll be better for a bit.Copy !req
748. But then someone's
gonna find out something,Copy !req
749. and then that... that something
is gonna be everything,Copy !req
750. and then it'll just be even worse.Copy !req
751. You know...Copy !req
752. It's Jamie.Copy !req
753. Jamie's ours.Copy !req
754. Isn't he?Copy !req
755. We thought we'd leave
going to the pictures.Copy !req
756. Yeah. That's, um...Copy !req
757. That's good. We can, um...Copy !req
758. - We can rent a film here?
- Yeah.Copy !req
759. - That's a good idea.
- Yeah, we could find some popcorn.Copy !req
760. - We've got popcorn somewhere.
- Yeah.Copy !req
761. - We can get takeaway.
- Yes!Copy !req
762. - Yeah.
- Please.Copy !req
763. Prawn crackers for everyone?Copy !req
764. Prawn crackers for everyone.Copy !req
765. Shall we have some breakfast?Copy !req
766. - A sort of breakfast?
- Yeah.Copy !req
767. Come on.Copy !req
768. That black pudding
will be sprouting legs and walking soon.Copy !req
769. - Um, I'll set the table.
- Thank you.Copy !req
770. - I'll give you a hand.
- You're coming nowhere near, birthday boy.Copy !req
771. How did we make her?Copy !req
772. The same way we made him.Copy !req
773. I'm sorry, son.Copy !req
774. I should've done better.Copy !req