1. Liz, there's someone
in the apartment.Copy !req
2. Someone who thinks
you're specialCopy !req
3. in every single wayCopy !req
4. I wrote this song
to wish youCopy !req
5. a happy Valentine's DayCopy !req
6. and the chorus goes hereCopy !req
7. yeah this is where
the chorus goesCopy !req
8. Criss, I...Copy !req
9. I didn't have time
to write itCopy !req
10. but the chorus goes hereCopy !req
11. Yeah!
This is the chorusCopy !req
12. Criss! Criss, it's okay.Copy !req
13. I really don't care about
Valentine's.Copy !req
14. But you're a lady.Copy !req
15. Right?Copy !req
16. Why haven't I seen pictures
of you as a baby?Copy !req
17. You know what I like
to celebrate on February 14th?Copy !req
18. The 1920 founding of
the league of women votersCopy !req
19. in Chicago, Illinois.Copy !req
20. They were
supposed to meetCopy !req
21. on the 13th,
but they all got lost, so...Copy !req
22. But Valentine's Day
is fun, Liz.Copy !req
23. I wrote you a song,Copy !req
24. I found you an awesome clip
on Youtube.Copy !req
25. Good morning, everybody.Copy !req
26. I'm hanging out with
my friend, John.Copy !req
27. Fox 5 morning news starts...
Look over there.Copy !req
28. And it starts right now.Copy !req
29. Oh, boy.Copy !req
30. And that's
just the beginning.Copy !req
31. All right, Chros,
all right.Copy !req
32. What else do you have planned?Copy !req
33. I don't know.Copy !req
34. How about dinner
at some place amazing?Copy !req
35. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
36. It's New York, on Valentine's.Copy !req
37. You need a reservation.Copy !req
38. All right, so I'll make one.Copy !req
39. Right now.Copy !req
40. No, it's too late.Copy !req
41. Happy
"league of women voters day."Copy !req
42. Mashed potatoes
in a Martini glass,Copy !req
43. we'll open some of that wine
we didn't give the superCopy !req
44. for Christmas because you
decided it would come offCopy !req
45. as racist.Copy !req
46. I'm glad we gave him
those G.E.D. books instead.Copy !req
47. We're gonna
use real silverware.Copy !req
48. We're gonna light some candles.Copy !req
49. We'll play the soundtrack
to Major League.Copy !req
50. You're making fun of me,
but that love song is awesome.Copy !req
51. All in the comfort
of our own living room.Copy !req
52. Look, Criss, you need to know
what you're up against here.Copy !req
53. I am 0 for 40
on Valentine's Day.Copy !req
54. I will waste you!Copy !req
55. You'll have to go through
this old bastard first!Copy !req
56. Bon Jovi.Copy !req
57. No, no, no, no, no,
Lemon.Copy !req
58. Liz,Copy !req
59. you know, my mom did just die.Copy !req
60. Will you be my Valentine?Copy !req
61. I just realized I'm gay.Copy !req
62. If this is going
to be "unterrible"Copy !req
63. for the first time ever,Copy !req
64. I'm not eating off
a coffee table.Copy !req
65. Well, you know,
for thousands of yearsCopy !req
66. Japanese diners have used
traditional tatami mats...Copy !req
67. Okay, no, no, no.Copy !req
68. We'll get a real table.Copy !req
69. But we're going
to need one by tonight.Copy !req
70. That leaves us
only one option.Copy !req
71. We, as a couple,Copy !req
72. are going to Ikea.Copy !req
73. Were you playing golf?Copy !req
74. It's freezing out.Copy !req
75. Yes, I was.Copy !req
76. In Avery's absence, I have
extra time each day to,Copy !req
77. how do I put this?Copy !req
78. Release some energy.Copy !req
79. Are we talking
about something gross?Copy !req
80. My animus has become pent up.Copy !req
81. Why don't you just
come out and sayCopy !req
82. you haven't hadCopy !req
83. "mommy-daddy
sheet monster times."Copy !req
84. I'm not about to cheat
on the woman I love,Copy !req
85. and I've never "mommy-daddy
sheet monstered" myself.Copy !req
86. Never? Not even during
the Love Boat reunion?Copy !req
87. Anyway, sorry you're alone.Copy !req
88. I certainly know what it's likeCopy !req
89. to have
a crummy Valentine's Day.Copy !req
90. We're not going to chili's
until I hit one.Copy !req
91. Go tell the guy the machine's
not fast enough.Copy !req
92. I would kill to get hit in the
crotch by a baseball today.Copy !req
93. Not only is my wife
12,000 miles away,Copy !req
94. my mother-in-law
has decided to visit.Copy !req
95. No. I've never had
a mother-in-law,Copy !req
96. but I have seen
Everybody loves Raymond.Copy !req
97. "Debra, where's the figurine
I gave you?Copy !req
98. Raymond, I gave Debra
a figurine."Copy !req
99. "Ma!"Copy !req
100. The Jessups are very white
and very proper.Copy !req
101. The first Jessup moved
to this country in 1760Copy !req
102. to avoid an embarrassing
regifting incident.Copy !req
103. But, my lord, I gave you these
dueling pistols last yuletide.Copy !req
104. Yes, of course.Copy !req
105. Now, if you'll excuse me.Copy !req
106. It's been difficult
to get Diana to acknowledgeCopy !req
107. the reality of what's happened
to her daughter.Copy !req
108. What is she,
an Egyptian crocodile?Copy !req
109. 'Cause she is in "denial."Copy !req
110. I've had two coffees.Copy !req
111. Anyway,
you'll be happy to hearCopy !req
112. that I am giving Valentine'sCopy !req
113. a second chance this year.Copy !req
114. And here we are on six.
For the first...Copy !req
115. What a shame.Copy !req
116. It felt like we were
just getting started.Copy !req
117. "Ma!"Copy !req
118. 30 ROCK
S06 Ep. 06 - Hey, Baby, What's WrongCopy !req
119. Hazel, most people think
of Valentine's DayCopy !req
120. as a celebration of the burning
of a catholic loudmouth, butCopy !req
121. it's also about love.Copy !req
122. And escort prices
going way up.Copy !req
123. Okay, so, how appropriate
that on Valentine's,Copy !req
124. I introduce you to
the new love of your life:Copy !req
125. This job, and everyone here.Copy !req
126. This is kind of the nerve center of
TGS..., the page desk.Copy !req
127. I've had a desk before.Copy !req
128. I managed
a haunted house upstate.Copy !req
129. But, as you know,Copy !req
130. the haunted house industry
is a real boys' club.Copy !req
131. Sure, it's hard,Copy !req
132. changing careers at my age.Copy !req
133. Well, I wouldn't know anythingCopy !req
134. about being too old
for something.Copy !req
135. But here I am, in New York,
living at a 24 hour fitness,Copy !req
136. just ready to be inspired.Copy !req
137. Hazel, right?Copy !req
138. Yeah.Copy !req
139. It's so great to have a woman
page here...Copy !req
140. Thanks.Copy !req
141. To test unapproved Japanese
medications on.Copy !req
142. Swallow.Copy !req
143. Swallow.Copy !req
144. Good girl.Copy !req
145. Now, let me know if all
your pubic hair falls out.Copy !req
146. Oh, my God!Copy !req
147. No, that's what
it's supposed to do.Copy !req
148. I want to make sure
it doesn't cause seizures.Copy !req
149. Sorry to crash
this sausage party...Copy !req
150. Unnecessary.Copy !req
151. But I have an emergency.Copy !req
152. Sebastian, the producer of
America's kidz got singing,Copy !req
153. OD'd last night
in Guy Fieri's apartment.Copy !req
154. Oh, my God, that's terrible.Copy !req
155. Terrible for me.Copy !req
156. Oh, my God, that's terrible.Copy !req
157. Tonight's our first live show,
I'm singing,Copy !req
158. and we don't have
a line producer.Copy !req
159. So I need to borrow Pete.Copy !req
160. On Valentine's Day?Copy !req
161. No, Pete's got to
go home to his wife.Copy !req
162. Actually, Paula didn't want
to do anything for Valentine's,Copy !req
163. so she's just going
out to dinnerCopy !req
164. with her tennis instructor,
mark.Copy !req
165. Perfect.
Sound check's at 1:00.Copy !req
166. I'm having Sebastian's lucky
earring sent from the morgue.Copy !req
167. Wear it.Copy !req
168. So you're not spending
tonight with Paul?Copy !req
169. No, Paul's been performing onCopy !req
170. a transvestite cruise
for the last month.Copy !req
171. It's called "Caribbean queens"
for emphasize "No more love on the run".Copy !req
172. Billy Ocean is furious,
and very litigious.Copy !req
173. But he's powerless as long as they
stay in international waters.Copy !req
174. Sure.Copy !req
175. Since you asked,
Criss and I are going to Ikea.Copy !req
176. For the hate-sex
after your fight?Copy !req
177. Good idea.Copy !req
178. No, we're not going to fight.Copy !req
179. We're getting one thing.Copy !req
180. I have a plan...Copy !req
181. you're going to fight.Copy !req
182. Ikea's where I used
to go pick upCopy !req
183. newly-single vulnerable chicks.Copy !req
184. I've gotten women there two,
three points hotter than me.Copy !req
185. So, you know... fours.Copy !req
186. Look, I don't want to go.Copy !req
187. But we need a table.Copy !req
188. And if Criss thinks he's the guy
to get Liz Lemon on boardCopy !req
189. with "Saint
lame-entine's nay"...Copy !req
190. Honey, that sucks.Copy !req
191. We better be able to survive
a simple trip to Ikea.Copy !req
192. No, Liz, don't test it.Copy !req
193. Especially this early
in a relationship.Copy !req
194. It's like when Mickey Rourke
tested his catapult on me.Copy !req
195. I was almost listening.Copy !req
196. Where are you going?Copy !req
197. You never take my advice.Copy !req
198. Ms. Maroney.Copy !req
199. Thank you, Kenneth.Copy !req
200. We'll take a pube count,
but it doesn't feel worth it.Copy !req
201. Maybe I'm hitting
them too hard.Copy !req
202. And I should not have walked
past that sporting goods storeCopy !req
203. where the mannequins
have nipples.Copy !req
204. And what race were
those mannequins,Copy !req
205. because their skin was gray.Copy !req
206. They were like
faceless sex aliens.Copy !req
207. Jack.Copy !req
208. Diana, you're here,
I thought you'd be at the house.Copy !req
209. Yes, I dropped my bags off
and shook hands with the baby,Copy !req
210. but I wanted to come talk
to you about Avery's situation.Copy !req
211. What situation is that?Copy !req
212. According to
your Christmas letter,Copy !req
213. Avery is in Asia on business.Copy !req
214. You know
that she was kidnappedCopy !req
215. by the north Korean
secret police.Copy !req
216. Don't be vulgar.Copy !req
217. As we said in the letter,
she'll be back soonCopy !req
218. with some charming
Asian ceramics.Copy !req
219. I'm sorry, but who is this
"we" you keep referring to?Copy !req
220. Your husband has been dead
for 15 years.Copy !req
221. Wonderful news. You know
our pacing horse, squanto?Copy !req
222. She's foaling in the spring.Copy !req
223. Diana, I know
the Jessups don't likeCopy !req
224. to talk about
unpleasant matters.Copy !req
225. But sometimes I feel likeCopy !req
226. I'm the only person trying
to get Avery back.Copy !req
227. Well, that is what
I wanted to discuss.Copy !req
228. It has been months, and I feel
like nothing has happened.Copy !req
229. Diana,Copy !req
230. extracting an American
from North Korea is a, uh...Copy !req
231. Is a lot more difficult
than organizingCopy !req
232. a round-Robin paddle
tennis tournament.Copy !req
233. What about organizingCopy !req
234. three round-Robin paddle
tennis tournaments?Copy !req
235. I heard that one
of them was a disaster.Copy !req
236. Who told you that?Copy !req
237. Bebe Butler?Copy !req
238. She's trying
to destroy me.Copy !req
239. This situation has
become embarrassing.Copy !req
240. One of Frederick's
old Washington friendsCopy !req
241. has some connections with
the Transylvanian consulateCopy !req
242. at the united nations.Copy !req
243. I made an appointment
for both of us.Copy !req
244. Let me stop you right there.Copy !req
245. I've been to the U.N.
repeatedly.Copy !req
246. Mein herr,
meine frau Avery Jessup...Copy !req
247. Kim Jong-Il
vuvuzelaCopy !req
248. Charlize Theron...Copy !req
249. Boomerang my Sheila backCopy !req
250. to her Joey, mate.Copy !req
251. And it's gotten me nowhere.Copy !req
252. The U.N. is
a useless organization,Copy !req
253. with a ridiculous army.Copy !req
254. Robin's egg blue helmets?Copy !req
255. Great camouflage,Copy !req
256. if you're invading
an easter egg hunt.Copy !req
257. Jack, perhaps you're
not having successCopy !req
258. because of that attitude.Copy !req
259. I find you catch
more flies with honey.Copy !req
260. First of all,
why do you want flies?Copy !req
261. Our appointment is at 11:00.Copy !req
262. Strewth, what a bull-dingeredCopy !req
263. Valentine's Day.Copy !req
264. And Jack?Copy !req
265. I speak Australian.Copy !req
266. Let ferry ride,Copy !req
267. was the first time when we've
ever been on a boat together.Copy !req
268. Unless you count that time
when the goose chased youCopy !req
269. into the Central Park boat pond.Copy !req
270. Criss, I need
to ask you something.Copy !req
271. Have you ever been to an Ikea?Copy !req
272. Do you know what
we're walking into?Copy !req
273. You know what?
I like myself.Copy !req
274. I have good taste in drapes.Copy !req
275. I wish I'd died on Iwo Jima
and never met you.Copy !req
276. What was that?Copy !req
277. Not us.Copy !req
278. We are a good team,
and we have a plan.Copy !req
279. We're going to go in, get the
kurtz with the birch veneer,Copy !req
280. and then get out.Copy !req
281. Then go home and have
an amazing night together.Copy !req
282. I just got my period.Copy !req
283. Liz, what are
you worried about?Copy !req
284. Come on,
this is gonna be fun.Copy !req
285. I'm going back
to those cute bowls.Copy !req
286. I swear to God,
I will stab you!Copy !req
287. So tense.Copy !req
288. Just like my mom's back.Copy !req
289. Dude, what was that?Copy !req
290. I just don't want
to be alone today.Copy !req
291. In 48 years, I haven't
had one good Valentine's.Copy !req
292. Man, if I weren't
with Lynn nowCopy !req
293. we could team up.Copy !req
294. Valentine's Day
is the perfect timeCopy !req
295. to meet vulnerable women.Copy !req
296. It's scumbag Christmas!Copy !req
297. Just tell me what to do.Copy !req
298. Look, guys like us have
to pick low-hanging fruit.Copy !req
299. We look like Far side drawings.Copy !req
300. So we go where women are
sad, desperate, and weak...Copy !req
301. Cat shelters, blood banks,
the ice cream standCopy !req
302. at a Celtic woman concert...
And we strike.Copy !req
303. Another good place
is the beauty salon,Copy !req
304. where white girls try
to do black hair.Copy !req
305. Sisters come out crying, feeling
all bad about themselves,Copy !req
306. and we walk up on them all,Copy !req
307. "Hey, baby,
what's wrong?"Copy !req
308. You're married,
I actually have a girlfriend,Copy !req
309. all our dirtbag knowledge
is going to go to waste.Copy !req
310. No, it's not.Copy !req
311. Lutz, prepare for
the adventure of a lifetime.Copy !req
312. Then after we watch
Fievel goes west,Copy !req
313. we're gonna get you some action.Copy !req
314. Hey, you needed to see me?Copy !req
315. Did you book a female
hair-person for me tonight?Copy !req
316. Who's Karen?Copy !req
317. I need someone named Trentence,
or Orbino.Copy !req
318. Get in the game, Pete.
Your star is freaking out.Copy !req
319. What are you freaking
out about?Copy !req
320. You sing live all the time.Copy !req
321. This is different.Copy !req
322. It's not some rinky-dink
late night showCopy !req
323. that a bald idiot produces.Copy !req
324. It's the largest audience
I've ever performed for.Copy !req
325. And after spending all season
ripping cute kids new ones,Copy !req
326. everyone wants me to fail.Copy !req
327. Tomorrow night on
America's kidz got singing,Copy !req
328. the judge becomes
the opposite of the judge.Copy !req
329. Come on, guys,
a little effort.Copy !req
330. Jenna Maroney's singing live,Copy !req
331. and all of America is just
waiting for thatCopy !req
332. To get over and over
and over again with a.Copy !req
333. Nice bleeping.
Sorry about earlier.Copy !req
334. Jenna, you need to relax.Copy !req
335. Listen up, if tonight isn't
a huge "jiumph,"Copy !req
336. which is short for
"Jenna triumph,"Copy !req
337. it's on you.Copy !req
338. And like all celebrities,Copy !req
339. I'm very good
at shifting the blame.Copy !req
340. I attacked Nancy Kerrigan.Copy !req
341. - Did you get my message?
- Yes, your excellency.Copy !req
342. And I also wish you,Copy !req
343. a "bear-y" happy
Valentine's Day.Copy !req
344. He said it'll be another hour.Copy !req
345. The assistant attache has
a few minutes around 14:30.Copy !req
346. 14:30? You do know that this
office is in America, right?Copy !req
347. Do you see a 14
on my watch?Copy !req
348. Yes, it's the date.Copy !req
349. Happy Valentine's Day.Copy !req
350. That's cute.Copy !req
351. And what insolvent country
do you come from?Copy !req
352. New Jersey.
I'm just a weirdo.Copy !req
353. Will you please
stop being so hostile?Copy !req
354. You just make everything worse.Copy !req
355. No wonder you haven't
accomplished anything.Copy !req
356. You know what?
Avery loved a good fight.Copy !req
357. She used to call the cable
company and dispute our bill,Copy !req
358. just for the sport of it.Copy !req
359. She wouldn't stand for
this dog and pony show.Copy !req
360. I have organized several
dog and pony shows,Copy !req
361. and I'm offended
by what you're implying.Copy !req
362. How are you Avery's mother?Copy !req
363. We have a few things
in common, Jack.Copy !req
364. We both married much,
much older men,Copy !req
365. which can be hard,Copy !req
366. or, more often, flaccid.Copy !req
367. I have an idea. Maybe,
we just don't talk at all.Copy !req
368. Maybe we sit quietly
and read our,Copy !req
369. soccer magazine.Copy !req
370. Mr. Jordan's lizard, Jeremy,Copy !req
371. is always escaping
and biting everyone.Copy !req
372. Like owner, like lizard.Copy !req
373. Oh, man.Copy !req
374. That's why Mr. Jordan got him
a GPS collar.Copy !req
375. Now it's easier to find...Copy !req
376. Well that can't be.Copy !req
377. It says he's inside the room.Copy !req
378. Maybe you're reading it wrong?Copy !req
379. Three feet, two feet,Copy !req
380. it says he's right on top of us.Copy !req
381. Oh, my God, my face.Copy !req
382. He's mating with my mouth.Copy !req
383. He likes you!Copy !req
384. Here's a good one.Copy !req
385. Go to a strip club
on Father's Day,Copy !req
386. and shout things like,Copy !req
387. "I'm proud of you!"Copy !req
388. Classic.Copy !req
389. Where's Pete?Copy !req
390. I just dyed my gums because I
want them to pop on camera.Copy !req
391. But now they're burning.Copy !req
392. Another way
to meet damaged womenCopy !req
393. is to hang out with actresses.Copy !req
394. Actresses?Copy !req
395. Where? How young are they?Copy !req
396. I'll do nudity.Copy !req
397. Back in the day,
used to work as a stock boyCopy !req
398. in a chic uptown
department store,Copy !req
399. called "Ray-Ray's discount
clothes bucket."Copy !req
400. I would go to
the swimsuit sectionCopy !req
401. and switch the tags.Copy !req
402. I'd take a size six and put
a size twelve sticker on it.Copy !req
403. And then some thick girl
would try to squeeze into it,Copy !req
404. and come out of
the dressing room like,Copy !req
405. "I've gotten bigger.
Why do I even bother dieting?"Copy !req
406. And I'm all like,Copy !req
407. "Hey, baby, what's wrong?"Copy !req
408. You know, a great place to meet
vulnerable women is weight watchers.Copy !req
409. I did "watchers"
to stay pageant-fit,Copy !req
410. but it was too much math
for a six-year-old.Copy !req
411. Thank God I found cigarettes.Copy !req
412. "Weight watchers," got it.Copy !req
413. And if worse comes to worse,Copy !req
414. make the lady feel vulnerable.Copy !req
415. Check this out.Copy !req
416. Baby, did someone
throw cereal on you?Copy !req
417. Let's get you out
of these wet clothes.Copy !req
418. What is wrong
with you people?Copy !req
419. Whatever.Copy !req
420. Jeremy says she's
a tease anyway.Copy !req
421. Now, let's hit
weight watchers.Copy !req
422. How is there
no signal in here?Copy !req
423. Silence, prisoner.Copy !req
424. I mean, can I help you,
valued customer?Copy !req
425. There you are.Copy !req
426. What are you doing?Copy !req
427. Buying stuff for tonight,Copy !req
428. to make it awesome.Copy !req
429. Look, salt and pepper shakers.Copy !req
430. You put them together,
it makes a heart.Copy !req
431. Take them apart,
two red sperms.Copy !req
432. We're not getting that.Copy !req
433. What's with
the "neggy" vibes, jeez.Copy !req
434. I can get things.Copy !req
435. Not if you're
not paying for them.Copy !req
436. Let's go get that table,
buddy.Copy !req
437. Ikea.Copy !req
438. First things first.Copy !req
439. I am from Transylvania,Copy !req
440. but I am not a vampire.Copy !req
441. I'm just a night owl with
a terrible garlic allergy.Copy !req
442. So, this is regarding that boyCopy !req
443. who went missing in my castle?Copy !req
444. No, we're here about my wife.Copy !req
445. My daughter, Avery Jessup,
she's in North Korea.Copy !req
446. Yes, the Jessup case.Copy !req
447. Yes, I would like to speak
to Kim Jong-Un, immediately.Copy !req
448. That is unacceptable.Copy !req
449. I understand.Copy !req
450. The operator wouldn't let
me dial long-distance.Copy !req
451. So, thank you both for coming.Copy !req
452. No.Copy !req
453. That is exactly what
I expected would happen.Copy !req
454. Does that hurt?Copy !req
455. Well, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
456. Well that is just
the beginning, you... penis!Copy !req
457. This isn't some
idiotic civil warCopy !req
458. in some country without oil.Copy !req
459. This is my favorite daughter.Copy !req
460. And she is a beautiful
white American.Copy !req
461. So why the fudge isn'tCopy !req
462. everyone fudging freaking
the fudge out!Copy !req
463. She's right.Copy !req
464. You are a penis!Copy !req
465. I'm going to call security.Copy !req
466. One of the guys has a whistle.Copy !req
467. Vampire push.Copy !req
468. Did you just threaten her?Copy !req
469. I want you to apologize
to this woman, right now.Copy !req
470. I am a very powerful man.Copy !req
471. I can see to it
that TransylvaniaCopy !req
472. never sees another
episode of Friends.Copy !req
473. No! Monica and Chandler just
slept together in London.Copy !req
474. I'm... I'm sorry.Copy !req
475. Okay. Now admit
the U.N. is useless.Copy !req
476. It is. Half the building
is a laser tag arena.Copy !req
477. Admit it's annoying
when Bono comes around.Copy !req
478. It's the worst.Copy !req
479. Every time he says he's not
hungry when we collect moneyCopy !req
480. for pizza, and then
he eats, like, three slices.Copy !req
481. You disgust me.Copy !req
482. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
483. And, Cjokula,Copy !req
484. at Monica and Chandler's
wedding,Copy !req
485. Rachel's the one
who is pregnant.Copy !req
486. Finally, tables.Copy !req
487. Stop walking so close to me!Copy !req
488. I'm sorry.Copy !req
489. It's this place.Copy !req
490. But also, if you would
just let me get a few stepsCopy !req
491. ahead of you first,
and then you walk?Copy !req
492. I found it.Copy !req
493. Nice.Copy !req
494. What?Copy !req
495. It's nice, it's just...Copy !req
496. I don't know if I'm feeling it,
you know?Copy !req
497. What about this idea?Copy !req
498. I know a guy who cuts glass...Copy !req
499. No. I took measurements,Copy !req
500. I looked at colors,
we came here.Copy !req
501. This is the plan.Copy !req
502. Yeah, it's just
that this table,Copy !req
503. it feels kind of uptight.Copy !req
504. And I think something
a little more funCopy !req
505. would be a better table,
for me.Copy !req
506. Well,
I don't know, Criss.Copy !req
507. Maybe a more fun table
wouldn't be as supportive.Copy !req
508. What? No, no,
we are not doing this.Copy !req
509. We are not letting this tableCopy !req
510. be a metaphor
for our relationship.Copy !req
511. That's what Ikea wants us to do.Copy !req
512. I'm just not sure my chair
wants to be with this table.Copy !req
513. Why, because
deep down your chairCopy !req
514. would rather be
with other chairs?Copy !req
515. I think the tableCopy !req
516. needs to stop listening
to its mother.Copy !req
517. Well, it's just
the table thinks the chairCopy !req
518. takes too many camping trips
with Richard.Copy !req
519. Almost there, teammate.Copy !req
520. To the warehouse!Copy !req
521. Seriously?
"Zoo York."Copy !req
522. Okay, everybody,
sound check for Ms. Maroney.Copy !req
523. No, I don't want
a live band.Copy !req
524. Live bands make mistakes.Copy !req
525. Pete, I have
made love to Alfonso,Copy !req
526. he can't keep rhythm,
get him out of here.Copy !req
527. That's a wrap on Alfonso.Copy !req
528. Alfonso Disparioso, everybody.Copy !req
529. This is your moment.Copy !req
530. The world breathes for you.Copy !req
531. I love you, myself.Copy !req
532. And playback.Copy !req
533. Jenna, you're not singing.Copy !req
534. Yes, I am.Copy !req
535. I'm sorry I was such
an Italian in there,Copy !req
536. but that was unacceptable.Copy !req
537. No, you were wonderful.Copy !req
538. The way your eyes went dead,
just like Avery's.Copy !req
539. I didn't know you
had that in you.Copy !req
540. "Yosemite Sam" was based
on my grandfather,Copy !req
541. so yes, I do have a temper.Copy !req
542. There are a lot of things
you don't know about me, Jack.Copy !req
543. In 1978, I was in Playboy,
just wearing a necktieCopy !req
544. and holding hands
with a black girl.Copy !req
545. How could I have ever saidCopy !req
546. that you're not
your daughter's mother.Copy !req
547. Those incredible cheekbones,
like an evil Disney queen.Copy !req
548. No, I misjudged you.Copy !req
549. The way you broke
that man downCopy !req
550. like a folding table
at a dog and pony show.Copy !req
551. And I am sorry I compared you
to my late husband.Copy !req
552. You are not some
liver-spotted old manCopy !req
553. constantly spilling hot tea
in his lapCopy !req
554. until his whole crotch
was useless.Copy !req
555. Useless!Copy !req
556. You are young.Copy !req
557. You are virile.Copy !req
558. Your hair, like a lion's mane.Copy !req
559. My eyes,
like two pools of ice water.Copy !req
560. Let's keep walking,Copy !req
561. in the cold.Copy !req
562. Yes.Copy !req
563. Do you like baseball?
Let's talk about baseball.Copy !req
564. I love baseball.
Abner Doubleday.Copy !req
565. - The bats are long and hard.
- The gloves are girls.Copy !req
566. - Balls!
- Jeter's thighs in those pants.Copy !req
567. New topic.Copy !req
568. You know, it's funny.Copy !req
569. If those teeth were
in your vagina,Copy !req
570. you'd be considered a monster.Copy !req
571. Well, Jenna, there's nothing
physically wrong with you.Copy !req
572. That's impossible.Copy !req
573. Why can't I sing?Copy !req
574. Well, it must be
psychosomatic.Copy !req
575. Don't worry, that's just
a fancy doctor wordCopy !req
576. for "your brain is broken."Copy !req
577. Unfortunately, there's
no field of medicineCopy !req
578. that deals with the brain.Copy !req
579. But, I can give you
a pamphlet for a cult.Copy !req
580. You don't understand.Copy !req
581. This is how
I make my living.Copy !req
582. Like me and my cell phone
bedazzling.Copy !req
583. I have to be able to sing.Copy !req
584. Maybe you're shutting down
because of all the pressure.Copy !req
585. There is a lot riding
on this performance.Copy !req
586. Pressure? That's ridiculous.Copy !req
587. Pressure is trying
to pass for fourCopy !req
588. when you just turned seven,Copy !req
589. at the "Miss Toddler
Panama city" pageant.Copy !req
590. You're crammed into
the same five-inch heelsCopy !req
591. you wore the year before,
blood pooling in your toes.Copy !req
592. But you know if you don't win,Copy !req
593. mom can't fix the hole
in the gator fence,Copy !req
594. so you'll be up all night,Copy !req
595. stabbing gators.Copy !req
596. Pressure is performing
on a party boatCopy !req
597. that catches on fire,Copy !req
598. your throat burning
from the smoke.Copy !req
599. You still sing so beautifully
that it calms the passengers,Copy !req
600. so that you
and the crew can escape.Copy !req
601. Pressure...Copy !req
602. It's the "Rule of threes,"
Pete.Copy !req
603. Is singing the Yemeni national
anthemCopy !req
604. while a handsome but ruthless
general pushes a scimitarCopy !req
605. into your neck,Copy !req
606. Kristin Chenoweth's
corpse at your feet.Copy !req
607. That's pressure.Copy !req
608. This live show is nothing.Copy !req
609. Well, there's something
weird going on here.Copy !req
610. You feel that
sexual energy too?Copy !req
611. I mean, but... it would
be wrong to act on it.Copy !req
612. Well, it's 5:00 somewhere.Copy !req
613. No, this isn't happening.
They're sold out.Copy !req
614. This is why you don't
just choose one option.Copy !req
615. We were in a room full
of tables.Copy !req
616. No, this is why you
don't waste 45 minutesCopy !req
617. wandering around the
"Valentine's marketplace."Copy !req
618. Trying to find stuff
for tonight.Copy !req
619. For you.
Really cool stuff.Copy !req
620. You still have those salt
and pepper shakers, don't you?Copy !req
621. Well, I don't
want them anymore.Copy !req
622. 'Cause I'm not
feeling romantic.Copy !req
623. God, you actually got
me excited about today.Copy !req
624. Valentine's is the worst!Copy !req
625. It's even worse
than earth day.Copy !req
626. You just see so many
dirty feet in sandals.Copy !req
627. I don't know, Liz.Copy !req
628. This could have been special.Copy !req
629. I had stuff planned.Copy !req
630. No, you didn't.Copy !req
631. You wrote half a song,
and thought you'd "wing it,"Copy !req
632. like you do with everything.Copy !req
633. I mean, if you'd had a planCopy !req
634. we wouldn't even be
in this hellhole.Copy !req
635. Good, go wide with it.
Go.Copy !req
636. Really?Copy !req
637. Well, how's your super-planned
life going, Liz?Copy !req
638. You're 40-something...Copy !req
639. One! Come on, Criss.Copy !req
640. You have no kids.Copy !req
641. The only thing you
like about your jobCopy !req
642. is taking home free sodas.Copy !req
643. And you're attacking
the only good thing in your lifeCopy !req
644. because of a stupid table.Copy !req
645. This isn't about the table.Copy !req
646. This is about you never
following through on anything,Copy !req
647. ever.Copy !req
648. It's why you didn't
finish law school,Copy !req
649. it's why you still aren't done
filling out your 2010 census.Copy !req
650. Well what race am
I supposed to check?Copy !req
651. We all come from Africa.Copy !req
652. You know what?Copy !req
653. Ikea tested us, we failed.Copy !req
654. Okay, just go.Copy !req
655. That's a good idea.Copy !req
656. We're done here.Copy !req
657. Yeah, we are definitely done.Copy !req
658. Thank you.Copy !req
659. That's why I get out of
the nidurgangur in the morning.Copy !req
660. It's one of our cheaper beds.Copy !req
661. There you are.Copy !req
662. I think your break is over,
Ms. Wassername.Copy !req
663. Did I make a mistake,
Kenneth?Copy !req
664. A big mistake.Copy !req
665. Tracy Jordan threw milk at you,Copy !req
666. and you didn't even thank him?Copy !req
667. How does that reflect
on the page program?Copy !req
668. And our mascot, "Pagey,"
a piece of paper.Copy !req
669. Everyone here is awful.Copy !req
670. I need to be inspired.Copy !req
671. I came here to start
a glamorous new life.Copy !req
672. 'Cause today,
anyone can be famous.Copy !req
673. I mean, look at foxy knoxy.Copy !req
674. What did she ever do
besides not kill anybody?Copy !req
675. So, why not me?Copy !req
676. I could have a fragrance,Copy !req
677. or a line
of children's handbags,Copy !req
678. or be in a reality show with
other kooky dumb sluts.Copy !req
679. You don't think
I have dreams?Copy !req
680. Last night, I dreamed
a baby ate my hair.Copy !req
681. But sometimes, you have
to start at the bottom.Copy !req
682. I'd like for you to make
a delivery for me.Copy !req
683. And, while you're out,Copy !req
684. think about
how your page underwearCopy !req
685. has been handed down,
page to page,Copy !req
686. for over 70 years.Copy !req
687. - So, do you like music?
- Yes.Copy !req
688. I have supported the Baltimore
Philharmonic for years.Copy !req
689. These days, it's just a boom box
and a guy in a crab costume.Copy !req
690. He gets shot out of
a Cannon at Ravens Games.Copy !req
691. The city may not be thriving.Copy !req
692. Well, it's not
just Baltimore.Copy !req
693. We live in a benighted age.Copy !req
694. The last time I heard
classical music on televisionCopy !req
695. was Schubert's final sonata
in a commercial.Copy !req
696. Now why would anyone
use music written by a manCopy !req
697. dying of syphilis
to sell douches.Copy !req
698. Because people
are getting stupider.Copy !req
699. Think how much
Schubert accomplishedCopy !req
700. in the 31 years he was alive.Copy !req
701. Coming through.Copy !req
702. And then there's,Copy !req
703. this guy.Copy !req
704. My taxes are paying
for your healthcare!Copy !req
705. Do a sit-up!Copy !req
706. I really
underestimated you, Jack.Copy !req
707. Maybe we shouldn't
talk at all.Copy !req
708. How do you think
our boys are doing in there?Copy !req
709. I guess it's been
a pretty rough week.Copy !req
710. Yesterday, I ate all the cheese
out of the mouse traps.Copy !req
711. Now, who'd like to continue
this magic over drinks?Copy !req
712. A Cosmo's five points?Copy !req
713. Okay.Copy !req
714. All right.Copy !req
715. Hey, baby, what's wrong?Copy !req
716. Nothing's wrong, you think
something's wrong with me?Copy !req
717. What's wrong with you?Copy !req
718. Um, didn't the white lady
just mess up your hair?Copy !req
719. I work for the post office,
I was delivering a package.Copy !req
720. But you think
my hair's messed up?Copy !req
721. No, I...Copy !req
722. You're gonna tell me
about black lady hair,Copy !req
723. you "Louie Anderson"
little bitch?Copy !req
724. Run! Run for your life!Copy !req
725. Hi.Copy !req
726. Are you shopping for someone?Copy !req
727. Do you know what size she is?Copy !req
728. No. I don't know. Maybe. No.Copy !req
729. I see.Copy !req
730. It's okay.Copy !req
731. I have an Uncle who uses
my discount here all the time.Copy !req
732. I'll take it.Copy !req
733. Okay, Jenna.Copy !req
734. I think I know what
your problem is.Copy !req
735. It's the "yips."Copy !req
736. When will congress
pass a lawCopy !req
737. to get those bastards
out of our country?Copy !req
738. No, no. The "yips"
is somethingCopy !req
739. that happens to athletes.Copy !req
740. They get in their heads,Copy !req
741. and stop being able
to do stuffCopy !req
742. they've done a million times.Copy !req
743. Like, bet me during a poker
game at Tony Romo's house?Copy !req
744. I know you don't think it's
mental, but it is.Copy !req
745. And, I get it.Copy !req
746. - It's scary to admit...
- How would you know?Copy !req
747. Because it happened to me!Copy !req
748. I was the best they'd
ever seen, and I blew it!Copy !req
749. Peter Hornberger, a shoo-in
for this Olympic squad,Copy !req
750. about to arch.Copy !req
751. You're going to want
to watch this, folks,Copy !req
752. so put down your Rubik's cube,Copy !req
753. turn off that Yakov Smirnoff
standup tape,Copy !req
754. and set all your
swatches to right now.Copy !req
755. I've been shot!Copy !req
756. Someone run into town
and find a payphone!Copy !req
757. This happened to you?
We have something in common?Copy !req
758. Look, tonight is huge
for you, and for me.Copy !req
759. If this goes well,
it could get us both outCopy !req
760. of the late-night ghetto.Copy !req
761. Because you and me?Copy !req
762. We're prime-time, baby.Copy !req
763. Fine, it's mental.Copy !req
764. I have the "yips."Copy !req
765. What am I supposed to do?Copy !req
766. Okay, we don't have
a lot of time.Copy !req
767. So, maybe just by acknowledging
the problem,Copy !req
768. we fixed it?Copy !req
769. I think we did.Copy !req
770. I'm cured!Copy !req
771. It's worse.Copy !req
772. I can't open my mouth.Copy !req
773. Happy
Valentine's to the two lovers.Copy !req
774. Come into my restaurant
for the romance.Copy !req
775. No, no, no,
we're not together.Copy !req
776. What?Copy !req
777. But, this is a crime.Copy !req
778. Such a beautiful,
age-appropriate couple.Copy !req
779. You are perfect together.Copy !req
780. You are like pasta,
and a mouth.Copy !req
781. Do you not think that
she's beautiful?Copy !req
782. Yes, empirically
she is attractive.Copy !req
783. And is he not handsome,
with hair like black vermicelli?Copy !req
784. Yes, he is handsome,
but...Copy !req
785. The only "but" we speak
of tonight,Copy !req
786. is the butt of the human ass.Copy !req
787. Valentine's,
she is a celebrationCopy !req
788. of love, and sex,Copy !req
789. and touch.Copy !req
790. Come inside,Copy !req
791. and have the most romantic
notte of your lives.Copy !req
792. We have a unisex bathroom,Copy !req
793. with, come si dice,Copy !req
794. no lock,
and extra mirrors.Copy !req
795. I have to go check on Liddy.Copy !req
796. I have to go walk
around the park.Copy !req
797. Maybe forever.Copy !req
798. Darn it,
what am I doing wrong?Copy !req
799. This is it, Lutz.Copy !req
800. The Ikea parking lot.Copy !req
801. If you can't close
the deal here,Copy !req
802. you're on your own.Copy !req
803. Back in the day,Copy !req
804. you know how many women me and
Lamar Odom's dad picked up here?Copy !req
805. And keep in mind,
back then this was a marsh,Copy !req
806. where people came
to shoot at fish.Copy !req
807. There's your
low-hanging fruit.Copy !req
808. We can teach you no more.Copy !req
809. Fly, Lutz, fly.Copy !req
810. Hey, baby, what's wrong?Copy !req
811. Lutz?Copy !req
812. Mom-boss?Copy !req
813. What are you doing?Copy !req
814. Oh, my God,
Lutz just hit on Liz.Copy !req
815. About time.Copy !req
816. The last six years has been
like watching Moonlighting.Copy !req
817. Hang on, were
you hitting on me?Copy !req
818. I'm sorry.Copy !req
819. I just wanted to have
a nice Valentine's Day,Copy !req
820. so Frank and Tracy tried
to help me out.Copy !req
821. But I keep screwing up.Copy !req
822. Every time I get
a good thing going,Copy !req
823. I do something stupid
and blow it.Copy !req
824. You want to know the reason
why Lutz is alone?Copy !req
825. Lutz!Copy !req
826. And Dollhouse penis syndrome.Copy !req
827. Oh, my God.Copy !req
828. I'm female Lutz.Copy !req
829. I love you too.Copy !req
830. No, I mean...Copy !req
831. I'm my own worst enemy.Copy !req
832. Do you want to know
the reason Liz is alone?Copy !req
833. Liz.Copy !req
834. Also I menstruate a lot.Copy !req
835. Oh, God, does this mean
I have to change?Copy !req
836. I have to go back
and be the bigger person?Copy !req
837. What if Criss already left
and I have to go find him?Copy !req
838. It's so cold.Copy !req
839. Oh, realizations
are the worst.Copy !req
840. Excuse me,
are you Jenna Maroney?Copy !req
841. My goodness,
are these for me?Copy !req
842. Yes.Copy !req
843. For your grave.Copy !req
844. I hope you die
out there tonight.Copy !req
845. Dude, that was a disaster.Copy !req
846. Worse than me trying
to send a fax.Copy !req
847. 50 straight
Valentine's days alone.Copy !req
848. I mean, 48.Copy !req
849. Are you crazy?Copy !req
850. You're not alone.Copy !req
851. You spent Valentine's with us.Copy !req
852. Yeah, two people who care
enough about your sexual needsCopy !req
853. to blow off their wives
and girlfriends.Copy !req
854. No.Copy !req
855. Right now, Angie's
in a hotel roomCopy !req
856. dressed as a clown.Copy !req
857. And I'm supposed to get
into an elephant costumeCopy !req
858. and interview her for
a job at the circus.Copy !req
859. I spent Valentine's Day
with friends.Copy !req
860. Friends?Copy !req
861. We are work acquaintances
at best.Copy !req
862. At worst, we are rivalsCopy !req
863. who inspire and try
to make each other better.Copy !req
864. Now let's go get
some tiny meatballs.Copy !req
865. Meatballs, here we come!Copy !req
866. Meatballs!Copy !req
867. Pick up your phone, Criss.Copy !req
868. Jack, I can't talk.Copy !req
869. I am mentally writing
an apology,Copy !req
870. and it's giving me
a tension headache,Copy !req
871. and I am so cold!Copy !req
872. I want to have sex
with Avery's mother.Copy !req
873. No! You can't do that.Copy !req
874. I know.Copy !req
875. And maybe it's just
the loneliness,Copy !req
876. and the frustration,Copy !req
877. and stupid Valentine's Day.Copy !req
878. But she's amazing.Copy !req
879. And come on, didn't our friends
the ancient OlmecsCopy !req
880. bed both mother and daughter
to satisfy their Jaguar gods?Copy !req
881. - And everybody loves them.
- Jack, listen to me.Copy !req
882. That is wrong
on so many levels.Copy !req
883. You can never sleep with her,Copy !req
884. never, never, ever, ever...Copy !req
885. Never, ever, ever.
Never, ever, ever, ever!Copy !req
886. I get it, Lemon.
Thank you.Copy !req
887. Just hearing your labored
breathing while youCopy !req
888. walk up stairs has purged me
of all sexual desire.Copy !req
889. Yeah, well,
glad I could help.Copy !req
890. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to clean upCopy !req
891. the mess I made here with...Copy !req
892. Criss.Copy !req
893. You're still here.Copy !req
894. I tried to call you.Copy !req
895. 20 missed calls?
How did...Copy !req
896. Right.Copy !req
897. My ringtone is
the sounds of cooking.Copy !req
898. Which is perfect,
because I love cooking.Copy !req
899. But when I'm cooking...Copy !req
900. Lemon, please hang up,Copy !req
901. I can't listen
to any more of this.Copy !req
902. Yeah.
Look...Copy !req
903. I was planning on saying
"it was my fault,"Copy !req
904. and, "please, let's
get back together."Copy !req
905. But, it doesn't
look like I need to.Copy !req
906. What do you mean,
"get back together"?Copy !req
907. You thought we broke up
because of that fight?Copy !req
908. No, that would be idiotic.Copy !req
909. You wanted a table,
I wasn't super-helpful.Copy !req
910. Who cares?
I tend to care, you know...Copy !req
911. I let little things
ruin stuff.Copy !req
912. I mean, I stopped shopping
at kmart because I found outCopy !req
913. that Kathy Ireland didn't design
any of her signature socks.Copy !req
914. But maybe, after 40 years...Copy !req
915. 41.Copy !req
916. - I can change.
- Don't bother.Copy !req
917. You can get mad at dumb stuff.
That's your thing.Copy !req
918. I'll get over it.
That's my thing.Copy !req
919. It's kind of perfect.Copy !req
920. But how are we ever
going to break up?Copy !req
921. I don't know,
maybe we never will.Copy !req
922. Maybe we'll still be celebrating
Valentine's togetherCopy !req
923. 100 years from now.Copy !req
924. Do you think
our ape overlords will let us?Copy !req
925. They'll let you and me
do whatever we want,Copy !req
926. because we'll be spying
on the rest of humanityCopy !req
927. for the ape police.Copy !req
928. Wait, where did
you get a table?Copy !req
929. I made it.Copy !req
930. I gathered fallen tree branches
from Riverside Park.Copy !req
931. That's where we first met.Copy !req
932. Yeah. And the top
is a Herman Cain posterCopy !req
933. I found in a dumpster.Copy !req
934. Excuse me?Copy !req
935. I have a package for Liz Lemon.Copy !req
936. Sure, come in.Copy !req
937. You're the head writer
TGS?Copy !req
938. But you're so beautiful.Copy !req
939. Charlie what now?Copy !req
940. I love your brown hair.Copy !req
941. It's so bouncy, like the
"after" picture in a lice ad.Copy !req
942. Thank you.Copy !req
943. It's from intermittent washing.Copy !req
944. And you own this place?Copy !req
945. Yeah.Copy !req
946. Holy Moly, there's stairs?Copy !req
947. And a dining room table?Copy !req
948. Is this your boyfriend?Copy !req
949. Yeah. He made me dinner.Copy !req
950. Mashed potatoes
in a Martini glass.Copy !req
951. Who are you, the president?Copy !req
952. Of France?Copy !req
953. I know, right?Copy !req
954. You are an inspiration,
Liz Lemon.Copy !req
955. I am an inspiration.Copy !req
956. I'll see you at work tomorrow.Copy !req
957. Happy Valentine's Day.Copy !req
958. You too.Copy !req
959. I want your life.Copy !req
960. And I will have it.Copy !req
961. I like her.Copy !req
962. - 45 seconds.
- Jenna.Copy !req
963. This is a nightmare.Copy !req
964. My Nemeses, Abigail Breslin
and the womanCopy !req
965. from those progressive
insurance commercials,Copy !req
966. are in the audience.Copy !req
967. Just, relax... panic, don't.Copy !req
968. You failed me, Pete.Copy !req
969. And when I go down,
I'm taking you with me.Copy !req
970. You'll never work again.Copy !req
971. But I have five kids.Copy !req
972. And grandkids can't
be far behind,Copy !req
973. little Evelyn's so sexual.Copy !req
974. 30 seconds.Copy !req
975. These shoes hurt, mommy.Copy !req
976. Good. Focus on the pain,Copy !req
977. not on the fact that
if you lose,Copy !req
978. I'm gonna pour acid
on your Barbies.Copy !req
979. Okay, come on.Copy !req
980. The shoes.Copy !req
981. The fire.Copy !req
982. The sword.Copy !req
983. It's the pain.Copy !req
984. She needs the pain
to distract her.Copy !req
985. I need to hurt her,Copy !req
986. but she's all the way
over there.Copy !req
987. How could I possib...Copy !req
988. Come on, Hornberger.Copy !req
989. Archer...Copy !req
990. Arch!Copy !req
991. Is she bleeding?Copy !req
992. It looks like an arrow wound.Copy !req
993. Jack.Copy !req
994. I didn't know you'd
be down here.Copy !req
995. Nice place.Copy !req
996. What did you pay for
all this wood?Copy !req
997. I don't believe we've met.Copy !req
998. Jack, this is...Copy !req
999. Someone I saw fighting with
a dog outside a liquor store.Copy !req
1000. I'm Herb.Copy !req
1001. 'Cause you are what you smoke,
right "Jackie"?Copy !req
1002. Hey, where's the head?Copy !req
1003. We're in mixed company,Copy !req
1004. but let's just say I've got
to go wreck your toilet.Copy !req
1005. It's down that hallway
on the right-hand side.Copy !req
1006. Diana, don't do this.Copy !req
1007. I'm lonely, Jack.Copy !req
1008. So am I.Copy !req
1009. Believe me,
I know how you feel.Copy !req
1010. Being alone
on Valentine's Day,Copy !req
1011. frustrated
in all kinds of ways.Copy !req
1012. Just wanting a connection,Copy !req
1013. to hold someone's hand.Copy !req
1014. Ideally when she's wearing
only a necktie.Copy !req
1015. But you deserve better
than Herb.Copy !req
1016. Why is this bathroom full
of wine bottles?Copy !req
1017. But what I deserve,
I shouldn't have.Copy !req
1018. Me neither.Copy !req
1019. So, what are we going
to do about it?Copy !req
1020. - Oh, baby.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
1021. - Yes!
- That's good.Copy !req
1022. - Yes.
- Oh, yeah, don't stop.Copy !req
1023. - Just like that.
- Oh, yeah, but a little lower.Copy !req
1024. - Yes!
- Yeah, baby!Copy !req
1025. - Oh, yeah!
- Oh!Copy !req
1026. - Nope, nope.
- Let me have one.Copy !req
1027. Give it to him, Frank.
Give it to him, we're friends.Copy !req
1028. You can have one of mine.Copy !req
1029. Finally, I can say,Copy !req
1030. happy Valen...Copy !req
1031. My legs!Copy !req
1032. This get me out of sex.Copy !req
1033. My God, Liz.Copy !req
1034. We're wearing
the exact same lipstick.Copy !req
1035. Looks better on you,
of course.Copy !req
1036. I wish I could just cut those
lips right off and wear them.Copy !req
1037. Happy Valentine's Day, lovers.Copy !req
1038. Happy Valentine's Day
to us all.Copy !req