1.  Previously on "30 rock". 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
2.  Say you approve of Criss. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
3.  I'm in your head. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
4.  Why did you have to offend the
gay community? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
5.  Did you just call me an idiot
on this TV? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
6.  Tracy has organized a protest
of NBC by his fellow idiots. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
7.  Mr. Hornberger? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
8.  - What do we do?
- I don't know. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
9.  But I know someone who does. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
10.  Talk to me. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
11.  They're still mad? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
12.  We sent Elton and David a
honey-baked ham. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
13.  What more do they want? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
14.  I'm joined now by one gay
rights advocate 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
15.  who isn't sure Jordan and NBC
have learned their lesson. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
16.  Devin Banks, welcome. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
17.  Thank you, Dallas. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
18.  I have seen you
since Michael Kors' 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
19.  new year's Eve masquerade. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
20.  Uh, I don't know what
you're talking about. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
21.  Right. Let's dive in. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
22.  Banks. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
23.  Hey, try this. New recipe. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
24.  We have to talk. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
25.  How fresh is that dog? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
26.  Yesterday, that was the face,
feet and colon of a pig. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
27.  I'm so fired up, Liz. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
28.  I got some cash now. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
29.  I can finally make
a down payment 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
30.  on a real food truck. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
31.  Yeah, the van's not great. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
32.  All right, kids. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
33.  Who wants some? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
34.  Get in my van. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
35.  Is there a problem, officer? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
36.  But you can't take that money. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
37.  What, why not? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
38.  Because the guy who
wrote you the check... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
39.  He's my boss and he
doesn't really care 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
40.  about the hot dog truck or
locally sourced pig sweepings. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
41.  He just needed an
excuse to meet you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
42.  Because I didn't
want him to meet you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
43.  He inserts himself
into my business 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
44.  whether I want him to or not 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
45.  and now he's inserting
himself into this. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
46.  Well, that's what
she said, but... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
47.  Why wouldn't you want
him to meet me? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
48.  You're embarrassed
of me? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
49.  No, it's not me, it's him. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
50.  I didn't want him to lecture me
about how you don't have a job 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
51.  and your name is spelled wrong
and you went to Wesleyan. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
52.  Wesleyan is the Harvard of
central Connecticut. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
53.  Yale is the Harvard
of central Connecticut. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
54.  Had that locked and loaded,
didn't you? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
55.  Well, you know what? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
56.  This isn't a Jack problem. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
57.  I think this is a Liz problem. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
58.  Because you wouldn't care what 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
59.  he thought unless
you agreed with him. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
60.  Like you're so perfect. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
61.  Let's not do this. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
62.  You don't say cholesterol
correctly. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
63.  "Chloresterole." 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
64.  You're a 41 year old woman
who cheats at board games. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
65.  You don't use the tab closures
on cereal boxes. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
66.  If you think those are doing
anything to seal in freshness, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
67.  you are living in a fantasy
world, pal. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
68.  Forget it. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
69.  This was a good day, Liz. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
70.  I'm gonna be in
the park meditating. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
71.  What would Jack say about that? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
72.  He'd say, "good God, Lemon." 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
73.  Locked and loaded. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
74.  Good God, Lemon. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
75.  30 ROCK
Ep 03 - Idiots Are People Three 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
76.  I'll have you know the
last man who wore jeans 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
77.  in this office was named
Theodore Wrangler. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
78.  And you, Banks,
could not even 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
79.  carry his trademark,
floor-length, suede cape. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
80.  I was wondering when
I'd hear from you, Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
81.  Do you know what comes up on my
phone when you call? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
82.  Where did you get that? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
83.  The only copy of
that photograph is in 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
84.  Stephanie Seymour's
safety deposit box. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
85.  You have bigger things to
worry about, Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
86.  See, I've got you right
where I want you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
87.  Really? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
88.  You think you have
leverage here? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
89.  The news cycle is
done with Tracy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
90.  They've moved on
to a story about 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
91.  teenagers huffing
other teenagers. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
92.  Tracy's apologies have
been accepted by GLAAD 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
93.  and I don't even know
what organization 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
94.  you're here representing. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
95.  We're new,
we're called PEEN. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
96.  And what is that
an acronym for? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
97.  Acronym? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
98.  Okay, you've succeeded in 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
99.  annoying me and wasting my time. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
100.  But your 15 minutes is up. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
101.  And... you've got nothing. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
102.  Really? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
103.  Nothing? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
104.  See that little Tracy Jordan
gem that I leaked last night 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
105.  was just the tip of
the iceberg, Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
106.  And NBC is the Titanic. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
107.  The highest grossing
movie of all time! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
108.  The boat, not the movie,
the boat! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
109.  See, I've been following Tracy's
standup act for months 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
110.  now and if any of this gets out, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
111.  every protected
group in America's 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
112.  gonna be picketing this network. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
113.  Enjoy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
114.  Good God. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
115.  Oh, is this one about how
asians act on the subway? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
116.  I know, I almost threw up
the first time I heard it. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
117.  Oh, this one's fun. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
118.  Starts out as a joke about our 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
119.  first Mexican President. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
120.  My Lord. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
121.  And ends up as just a rant
against women. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
122.  Oh... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
123.  No one can ever listen to this. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
124.  Then she had teeth down there! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
125.  What do you want, money?
A job? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
126.  This isn't a
business play, Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
127.  I mean, what's the point. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
128.  After going head to head with
you for the last five years, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
129.  I've ended up as a house
husband in Brooklyn. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
130.  You won, Jack.
So what are you saying? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
131.  I've given up trying to beat
you in the board room. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
132.  But there are still
things I can make you do. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
133.  All right, you can watch me
shower, but no touching. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
134.  No touching just
makes it hotter. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
135.  No, I'm after
bigger game than you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
136.  See you're a very influential
man, Donaghy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
137.  You can pull strings in the kind
of venerable institutions 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
138.  that still reject
creeps like me. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
139.  I want you to get my triplets
into preschool... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
140.  At St. Matthew's. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
141.  Banks, that's impossible. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
142.  Just last year,
they rejected one of 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
143.  St. Matthew's
actual descendents. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
144.  I know. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
145.  I head that during her interview 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
146.  she turned the class
hamster into a dove. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
147.  Good luck. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
148.  Pick up the Mercury
with the tape, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
149.  bag it, then seal the bags. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
150.  We'll drive everything
out to the meadowlands 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
151.  and roll the car into a swamp. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
152.  We should take two cars. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
153.  You didn't tell me he was alive! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
154.  Well of course he is. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
155.  Pete's our friend, Kelsey. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
156.  Damn it! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
157.  No names! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
158.  We don't want him to die. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
159.  But more importantly, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
160.  we don't want to be blamed for 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
161.  what's happened to him. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
162.  It's been five hours since 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
163.  he's pressed an elevator button. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
164.  His office is on
this floor, isn't it? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
165.  Yes, but to get him there, you
have to go through the backstage 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
166.  and the backstage
is full of people. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
167.  We need a distraction. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
168.  Something to clear
the halls of TGS. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
169.  How much time will
Kenneth and I have? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
170.  How long is the show? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
171.  I don't know. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
172.  I've never done it before, baby. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
173.  I will make
a brief statement 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
174.  on behalf of
the idiot community, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
175.  then I will open
the floor for questions. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
176.  Since its founding
early this afternoon, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
177.  the national association for
zero intolerance, or Nazi... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
178.  - We should change that.
- It's fine. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
179.  We are outraged that the
American bigot, Liz Lemon, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
180.  has made no effort
to reach out to us. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
181.  Tracy, are you kidding me? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
182.  I have been calling
your cell all day. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
183.  My ringtone is
the chicken dance. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
184.  If I answer it,
I won't hear the whole song! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
185.  I have to go talk
to Jack right now. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
186.  Wait for me in my office. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
187.  Is there anything
you would like to add? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
188.  These microphones look like
black ice cream cones. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
189.  Thank you all for coming out. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
190.  Jack, I am giving you your
money back. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
191.  You can't tear up
my checks, Criss. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
192.  They're printed on
Nixon's old bed sheets. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
193.  Look, I don't understand
your relationship with Liz. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
194.  She's my subordifriend. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
195.  Well, she's my girlfriend
and I'm not 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
196.  gonna let you
get in between us. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
197.  It's a little late for that. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
198.  You're not going to want to hear
this, but I am 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
199.  officially disapproving of you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
200.  Well, I'm sorry, but I really
don't care what you think. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
201.  That's really not how things
work around here, Criss. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
202.  Damn it, Criss, stop talking
to him, it's a trap! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
203.  You said I won. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
204.  You said you wouldn't ask any 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
205.  more questions about Criss. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
206.  I said I wouldn't ask
you any more questions. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
207.  Semantics! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
208.  You had no right
to come to my home 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
209.  to trick Criss to
rearrange my bathroom. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
210.  - For the better.
- Yes. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
211.  The basket of shells
was a nice touch. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
212.  But, I'm afraid
I have bad news. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
213.  I just told Criss that I am
officially disapproving. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
214.  - Oh, no.
- Who cares? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
215.  Of course, you're free to make
your own decisions, Lemon. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
216.  You can either pretend that you
and I are not in agreement 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
217.  and continue this, uh... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
218.  charade. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
219.  Or you can part ways
with Criss now 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
220.  and go and find someone who will
truly make you happy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
221.  I'm sorry, is this guy
breaking up with me? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
222.  Of course, you and Criss
can still be friends. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
223.  Okay, Liz, I guess you
got a choice to make. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
224.  You can listen to Jack,
we can call it quits 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
225.  and I go back to
sleeping on the floor 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
226.  of my Uncle's
mattress store, or... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
227.  You don't understand. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
228.  He's in my head. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
229.  Okay, forget Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
230.  What does Liz think, hmm? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
231.  What do you want? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
232.  Do you want to be
with me or not? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
233.  Don't look at me, ask her. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
234.  I don't know, Liz. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
235.  It's gonna go wrong
eventually, right? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
236.  I mean, I like him, but,
what are we doing here? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
237.  Really? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
238.  This is how you see yourself? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
239.  Of course I pick you, Criss. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
240.  If you would just address
some of the issues 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
241.  that we as a group have
been talking about. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
242.  Unbelievable. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
243.  Well, I have to go get a bunch
of gaybies into preschool 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
244.  before we all get sued,
so, uh... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
245.  Well done, Lemon. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
246.  So, then he says
"Tiff down there"... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
247.  Good one, Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
248.  I'll tell you,
friendship is the 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
249.  one kind of ship
that never sinks. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
250.  Douglas, so good to see you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
251.  Uh, do you know
my friend, Devin Banks? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
252.  A friend of Donaghy's, eh? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
253.  I'll watch my wallet. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
254.  Yes, yes, very good, Douglas. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
255.  Very funny. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
256.  So now we're all good friends 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
257.  and good friends do
favors for each other. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
258.  Is that a St. Matthew's tie? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
259.  I didn't know you went there. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
260.  Not only did I go there, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
261.  I happen to be President
of the board. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
262.  Although, during
my financial report 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
263.  I may be President of the bored. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
264.  St. Matthew's is such a
wonderful school. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
265.  We were just talking about that. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
266.  In fact, Devin's triplets are 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
267.  applying to St. Matthew's
right now. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
268.  I see... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
269.  Splendid. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
270.  On a totally unrelated topic, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
271.  did you know that I'm also on the
board of the Manhattan hospital 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
272.  for rich whites and
assimilated Jews? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
273.  I did not know that. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
274.  Unfortunately, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
275.  shortly before Don Geiss died, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
276.  the Geiss foundation made a
sizeable pledge to the hospital. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
277.  A pledge which, sadly,
has not been fulfilled. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
278.  What a coincidence 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
279.  because Devin and I happen
to know the new chair 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
280.  of the Geiss
foundation quite well. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
281.  That is a coincidence. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
282.  Kathy, are you
ready to come out now? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
283.  There she is. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
284.  Hey, you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
285.  Hey, funny. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
286.  Kathy, I know this
is a lot to take in but, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
287.  your father made a promise
to my friend, so, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
288.  what can we do to get
that check right now? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
289.  And that's why I'm so thrilled
to introduce NBC's new mascot, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
290.  Magellica the Unicorn. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
291.  It's wondrous. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
292.  Indeed. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
293.  Back to you, Thomas. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
294.  Okay... we now return
to our coverage 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
295.  of that train derailment
in California. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
296.  And idiots can do anything
we put our minds to. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
297.  I played
a "nucular" psychiatrist 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
298.  in a James "Bong" movie. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
299.  Look, what do I need to do to
make this go away? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
300.  I want you to call my phone so 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
301.  I can hear
the chicken dance again. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
302.  And I want the video
for my new single 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
303.  to play on TGS this week. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
304.  Can you make it
16 minutes long? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
305.  We're short this week. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
306.  I'll try to cut it down. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
307.  But above all, we want you to 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
308.  recognize who we are
as a community. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
309.  Idiots aren't just strippers or
stay at home moms. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
310.  Idiots are all around us. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
311.  I couldn't find a Lincoln hat 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
312.  so I grabbed this
chimney sweep hat instead. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
313.  If anyone notices... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
314.  We're dead. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
315.  So it would mean a lot if you 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
316.  apologized publically,
Liz Lemon. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
317.  Let the healing begin. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
318.  And since
you wrote my apology, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
319.  we went on ahead
and wrote yours. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
320.  Careful. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
321.  Careful. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
322.  Who designed your bathroom? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
323.  It's exquisite. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
324.  I did, you son of a bitch. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
325.  I'm excellent at
rearranging bathrooms. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
326.  Now get out of here,
you got what you wanted. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
327.  I just wanted to
say thank you, Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
328.  Very impressive. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
329.  Can't imagine that your boss, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
330.  Hank Cooper, was all that happy 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
331.  about the logo change. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
332.  Eh, we'll see. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
333.  Our new slogan, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
334.  "NBC, we have a magical horse?" 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
335.  Is testing, uh... Okay. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
336.  Oh, I also wanted to
say that I was lying 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
337.  when I said that this
wasn't a business play. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
338.  Banks, you're out of the game. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
339.  That's true. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
340.  And I've admitted defeat. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
341.  For our generation. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
342.  But for the next generation? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
343.  Well, thanks to you,
the Banks boys are way ahead. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
344.  All the favors
that you called in, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
345.  you would have used next year
for little lippy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
346.  Liddy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
347.  Is that even a name? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
348.  In Brooklyn, I know,
like, six lippys... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
349.  Doesn't matter. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
350.  You just mortgaged
your daughter's future 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
351.  to get out of
a little jam at work. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
352.  My mommy and me group would
really judge your parenting. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
353.  Especially lippy's mother. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
354.  Which lippy? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
355.  Lippy D. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
356.  Oh, God, Liddy might have to
go to public school. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
357.  See you in 30 years, Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
358.  I wonder what Liddy will be
doing with her degree from suny. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
359.  Don't even say it. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
360.  Oneonta. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
361.  You, jacket. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
362.  Well, hello there,
welcome to the White House. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
363.  Four score and
seven years ago... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
364.  What's with that hat? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
365.  Oh, I think
it looks very authentic. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
366.  Yeah, I guess you're right. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
367.  Mary Todd, you say? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
368.  Wha... what's happening? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
369.  Shh, Pete, don't talk. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
370.  Wassup? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
371.  Yeah, baby! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
372.  I'm here today to apologize for
my earlier comments. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
373.  I used an offensive term to
describe a group of people 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
374.  who made America the great... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
375.  continent that it is today. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
376.  Yeah! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
377.  These kickass people have 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
378.  given the world countless
bodacious things 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
379.  like the birther movement,
intelligent design... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
380.  Water parks... no, I will not
endorse water parks. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
381.  They are a cesspool of
disease and people boo you 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
382.  when you walk back
down the stairs. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
383.  You know what you people
have given the world? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
384.  Girls gone wild. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
385.  The Golden Globes, cans that
tell you how cold beer is, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
386.  Florida, bratz dolls. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
387.  Oh, I get it. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
388.  She's naming awesome things. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
389.  No, listen to me. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
390.  Because of you, there may be
an entouragemovie. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
391.  Hug it off, ma'am! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
392.  Turtle, turtle, turtle! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
393.  You know what, I give up. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
394.  You should know better, but no. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
395.  You're just gonna keep
on riding motorcycles, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
396.  having unprotected sex 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
397.  and voting against
free health care. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
398.  You will make the same
self-destructive decisions 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
399.  over and over and you will
never really be happy. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
400.  And your jaw will
hurt all the time. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
401.  Oh, look at you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
402.  Perfect little weiner dog, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
403.  you just need a little
mustard on you like that. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
404.  And a little bun,
just boop, like that. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
405.  No one will make you
deutschepancakes, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
406.  or welcome you home smelling of
hot dog water and onion, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
407.  or let you break out of jail
when you play monopoly. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
408.  Oh, my God, I'm such an idiot. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
409.  Wanna make out? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
410.  No, thank you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
411.  Hot crowd, hot crowd. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
412.  We've only got a minute before I
have to get back out there. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
413.  Act two is a play within a play. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
414.  It's funny, in school all you
learn about Abraham Lincoln 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
415.  is that he was a gay alcoholic. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
416.  Grab his feet. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
417.  Kelsey Gram... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
418.  Shh, shh, shh. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
419.  There, there, there you go. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
420.  Okay, okay. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
421.  I've gotta get back
into character. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
422.  Hit me in the face! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
423.  What... I forgot to
press a floor again. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
424.  Hey, what's up, Jackie d? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
425.  In a lot of ways, you and I
had similar upbringings. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
426.  Terrible schools,
broken homes... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
427.  Thinking basketball was the
ticket out. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
428.  Being wrong. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
429.  At some point,
our paths diverged. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
430.  I went on to Princeton, business
school, ge and beyond. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
431.  And look at me. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
432.  I spent all day
creating a movement 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
433.  just to get back at Liz Lemon. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
434.  I said creating a movement. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
435.  The point is that excellence
can come from anywhere. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
436.  It's the same with stupidity. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
437.  In this country, anyone could be
the next Jack Donaghy 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
438.  or the next Denise Richards. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
439.  This room... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
440.  Is moving. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
441.  Oh, God. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
442.  Banks. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
443.  What are you still doing here? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
444.  Well, my husband was supposed 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
445.  to pick me up at 6:00 but
he can be such an idiot. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
446.  I'm sure he can. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
447.  Where did you go
to school, Devin? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
448.  I had the best education
in the world. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
449.  Private kindergarten where I got
straight check marks. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
450.  Experimental boarding school
in carmel 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
451.  where the students
teach the teachers, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
452.  and the teachers teach animals. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
453.  Year abroad on an
all-male catamaran. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
454.  Then on to Northwestern where
I majored in confidence. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
455.  I had every educational
advantage, Jack. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
456.  Just like my children will. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
457.  But I beat you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
458.  What? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
459.  I beat you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
460.  I came from nothing. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
461.  But I caught up
and I crushed you. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
462.  Just like Liddy's
gonna crush your sons. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
463.  She's already sorting objects by
shape and color. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
464.  At 11 months,
I don't think so. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
465.  She can count to ten if
you say seven for her. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
466.  She gets five and nine? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
467.  - She can save five words.
- So. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
468.  In mandarin. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
469.  They've put her with
the toddlers at her 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
470.  singing and clapping
class at fun factory. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
471.  She's in Orange group? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
472.  She's already out of the
piaget sensorimotor stage. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
473.  That's impossible. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
474.  She scored a 62 on the object
permanence matrix. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
475.  But that's an adult score. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
476.  And did I mention... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
477.  She's using the potty. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
478.  Surely just for wee-wee. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
479.  No. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
480.  See you in 30 years, Banks. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
481.  It's already, like,
turning itself. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
482.  But I feel like I still
have to turn it. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
483.  Oh, oh, my God, mustard just
came out my nose. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
484.  Oh, it's burning
the backs of my eyes. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
485.  All right, I gotta go
back to work, bye. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
486.  Okay, all right. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
487.  Ah, it's burning my face now. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
488.  All right, I'm putting you on
probationary approval. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
489.  Okay, I don't really care. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
490.  I'll tell you what
changed my mind, Criss: 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
491.  a conversation I had
with Tracy Jordan. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
492.  You see, greatness can
come from anywhere. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
493.  So if a poor boy from
Boston can become me, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
494.  maybe you could become 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
495.  a suitable sex partner
for Liz Lemon. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
496.  You've got three months. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
497.  But your opinion
doesn't matter. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
498.  You have no say in this. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
499.  Liz, there's something
wrong with Pete. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
500.  Oh, my God! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
501.  I don't know what happened. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
502.  Pete, I have been
out there putting 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
503.  out fires all day
while you've been 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
504.  hiding in here doing this? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
505.  You're disgusting. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
506.  No, no, I was... I didn't... I... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
507.  Kelsey Grammer! 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
508.  Kelsey Grammer did this to me. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
509.  Really, Pete? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
510.  Kelsey Grammer made you do this 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
511.  while he was performing his one
man show about Abraham Lincoln? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
512.  Ugh. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
513.  Here's to another successful
operation by... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
514.  The best friends gang. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
515.  Hang on. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
516.  I didn't notice before with all 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
517.  the excitement, but... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
518.  I look incredibly beautiful. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
519.  The lighting is back to normal. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
520.  Both switches need
to be on, woman. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
521.  The bulb wasn't even broken? 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
522.  None of this was necessary. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
523.  I know... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
524.  I've been successfully
assassinated. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
525.  But I have one last thing
to tell my country. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
526.  Blackbeard's gold
is buried in... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
527.  I am a ghost now, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
528.  Leaving behind my
earthly possessions. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
529.  And although I left my
country divided by war, 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
530.  A civil war... 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
531.  So that's where
that name came from. 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
532.  I know that future generations
will forge a stronger country 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
533.  And that some day,
America will be a place 
			  
			Copy !req 
			
		
	
		
			
534.  Where everybody
knows your name. 
			  
			Copy !req