1. I'm sorry, I bet your tongue
it's been a while.Copy !req
2. I'm sorry I taste like
Korean cigarettes.Copy !req
3. Tobacco's the only thing
with protein over there.Copy !req
4. Their meat is just
def lated kickballs.Copy !req
5. How are you feeling?Copy !req
6. Ready to put this all
behind me.Copy !req
7. I don't even want to think about
the things they made me do.Copy !req
8. Earlier today,
America's credit ratingCopy !req
9. was downgraded
to triple fart-minus.Copy !req
10. You poor thing,
over there all alone.Copy !req
11. Ahoy there.Copy !req
12. Oh, Jack,
this is Scott Scottsman.Copy !req
13. Scott Scottsman.Copy !req
14. My ears are all plugged up
from the plane.Copy !req
15. Am I talking too loud?Copy !req
16. Scott was forced
to do sportsCopy !req
17. on American news Channel USA.Copy !req
18. Avery Jessup with news.Copy !req
19. Scott Scottsman
with sports.Copy !req
20. And it's me,
Johnny Mountain,Copy !req
21. with the weather on the one
and the traffic on the one.Copy !req
22. You no ask how I do it.Copy !req
23. It's a funny story, really.Copy !req
24. I was working for KSCT,
our of Scottsdale.Copy !req
25. They sent me to South Korea
to do a "where are they now?"Copy !req
26. On the pitcher Byung-Hyun Kim.Copy !req
27. Turns out he's still
living in America,Copy !req
28. and I get kidnapped.Copy !req
29. Uhhuh.Copy !req
30. I had no idea there was
another hostage there.Copy !req
31. A man.Copy !req
32. Right. Well,
we should get home.Copy !req
33. For American news Channel USA,
this is Avery Jessup.Copy !req
34. And I'm Scott Scottsman...Copy !req
35. Reminding all of you
there is no weekend.Copy !req
36. 30 ROCK
S06 Ep 21 - The Return of Avery JessupCopy !req
37. - Good morning.
- Oh, you're up early.Copy !req
38. I'm putting together a knock
list for the work upstairs.Copy !req
39. What do you think about
an intercom?Copy !req
40. That way, if it's an office,
you can call down.Copy !req
41. If it's a nursery, then
you can hear the baby.Copy !req
42. Or the plant.
It's your body.Copy !req
43. Right. Well, if I did
ever have a... plant with youCopy !req
44. or whatever...
I mean, at my age,Copy !req
45. we might have to get
an Asian plantCopy !req
46. or accept an older plant
with some behavioral issues,Copy !req
47. and we're a little afraid
of it...Copy !req
48. Do you want an intercom, Liz?Copy !req
49. Yes. Sure.
To hear the plant.Copy !req
50. I'm sorry. It's just
the more we talk about this,Copy !req
51. it's scary.Copy !req
52. I mean, that plant's not coming
out of your butt, pal,Copy !req
53. it's coming out of mine.Copy !req
54. All right, well, look,
to do everything,Copy !req
55. - it's gonna be around ten grand.
- Duck?Copy !req
56. I'm gonna do as much
work as possible,Copy !req
57. but I don't think it's safe for me to do
the wiring in an old building like this.Copy !req
58. The walls are filled
with electrocuted mice.Copy !req
59. Well, I could dip into
my 401K...Copy !req
60. Is something I've heard
old people say in commercials.Copy !req
61. Well, I could chip in.
If you take my prof itsCopy !req
62. from the hot dog truck
and add 'em to the $300Copy !req
63. my aunt gave me for Christmas,
I'd have $200.Copy !req
64. - Yeah.
- Right.Copy !req
65. Let me think about it,
but I've got to get to work.Copy !req
66. Oh, boy, I sound
just like my dad.Copy !req
67. Which, I guess,
makes me Mrs. Lemon.Copy !req
68. Seriously, though,
I gotta get to work.Copy !req
69. Oh, I gotta get to yoga
and lunch with the girls.Copy !req
70. Tracy, who sponsored
your wedding?Copy !req
71. I don't know. There was
a lot of fanta there,Copy !req
72. and the police, so maybe
they co-sponsored it?Copy !req
73. Oh, that's right, you were
a nobody when you got married.Copy !req
74. Only huge stars get
to have their wedding sponsored.Copy !req
75. Ms. Maroney,
a wedding is a simpleCopy !req
76. and beautiful ceremonyCopy !req
77. where an old man
and a crying girlCopy !req
78. get pushed into
the coupling shed.Copy !req
79. No, if you don't have
a sponsor these days,Copy !req
80. you're nobody.Copy !req
81. My sponsor is
the Southern Tourism Bureau.Copy !req
82. It's perfect 'cause
I'm sort of a down-home,Copy !req
83. America's sweetheart type.Copy !req
84. Leonardi, my hair psychic,
is always sayingCopy !req
85. how down to Earth I am.Copy !req
86. Oh, I know the Southern
tourism bureau.Copy !req
87. They pay me a yearly stipend
to stay in New York.Copy !req
88. They're paying for me
and Paul to get marriedCopy !req
89. on an old plantation.Copy !req
90. Which is great 'cause our wedding
was gonna be slavery-themed anyway.Copy !req
91. All I have to do is
shoot a commercialCopy !req
92. and say,
"Dixie is calling, you all.Copy !req
93. I reckon you should answer."Copy !req
94. Are you sure
you're saying that right?Copy !req
95. Of course I. I have
a natural Southern accent,Copy !req
96. 'cause I'm from
le flori-dah pahn-hahndle.Copy !req
97. You know, a lot of people
lose their accentsCopy !req
98. once they leave home
and go off to the big city.Copy !req
99. Before moving here, I done used
to talk-n-jaw like this, see?Copy !req
100. And when I'm at work,
I use my white-people voice.Copy !req
101. You should see how we talk
in the Bronx.Copy !req
102. Raar blarg shmoo-boo wagga!Copy !req
103. I'm sorry, sir, I have
no idea what you're saying.Copy !req
104. I'm sure it's nothing
that I can't fixCopy !req
105. with a little accent work.Copy !req
106. I'm not gonna let it ruin
my dream wedding.Copy !req
107. It's only a dream wedding?
Thank God!Copy !req
108. I did not want to attend.Copy !req
109. All set, Jack.Copy !req
110. - Did Liddy go down?
- Eventually.Copy !req
111. Understandably,
she's a little wary of me.Copy !req
112. I heard her ask her bear
who the dye job is.Copy !req
113. Oh, don't worry about it.
You're home now,Copy !req
114. we're Jack and Avery,Copy !req
115. and we are going to crush
this return to normalcy.Copy !req
116. Absolutely.Copy !req
117. It's gonna be like
I was never away.Copy !req
118. Absolutely.
Frankly,Copy !req
119. not too much has changed.Copy !req
120. There is an iPod 3
and a Mitt Romney 4.Copy !req
121. They worked all the bugs out.Copy !req
122. He's not killing hobos
at night any more.Copy !req
123. And tomorrow,
I am going to throw youCopy !req
124. a Thanks-Christmas-Valen-Easter-Ween
of July party.Copy !req
125. Genius. We'll celebrate all the
holidays I missed in one night.Copy !req
126. We are gonna be
so normal so fast!Copy !req
127. I've already started
my job search.Copy !req
128. I'm making a new reel.Copy !req
129. I actually did
some good work over there.Copy !req
130. Scott and I co-reported
on the North KoreansCopy !req
131. sweeping the Olympics.Copy !req
132. - They did, right?
- Yes... Scott.Copy !req
133. I'm so glad there was
someone there for youCopy !req
134. during this, uh, ordeal.Copy !req
135. Look, Jack, I know we can put
everything back the way it was.Copy !req
136. There's just one thing
I need to say first.Copy !req
137. I didn't wear
your nightgowns.Copy !req
138. If they seem
stretched out,Copy !req
139. it's because
you're remembering wrong.Copy !req
140. No, Jack, what I want
to say is...Copy !req
141. If anything happened
while I was goneCopy !req
142. between you
and someone else...Copy !req
143. It doesn't matter now.
Okay?Copy !req
144. All is forgiven.Copy !req
145. Okay, Jenna, I need
some relationship advice.Copy !req
146. Well, you've come
to the right place.Copy !req
147. I've been writing
a sex column for Cosmo.Copy !req
148. Cosmo is
my 14-year-old neighbor.Copy !req
149. He doesn't know anything.Copy !req
150. No, it's not about sex.
It's about money.Copy !req
151. Oh, Liz!Copy !req
152. Sex, money, power, fire,Copy !req
153. choking, being dragged
behind a speed boat...Copy !req
154. It's all the same thing.Copy !req
155. Look, you and I
are both in situationsCopy !req
156. where we're the breadwinner.Copy !req
157. How do you and Paul
deal with that?Copy !req
158. We love it.Copy !req
159. Gender role-reversal
is such a turn-on.Copy !req
160. Paul keeps the house nice,Copy !req
161. and I try
to get him pregnant.Copy !req
162. And the best part is,
if I want to treat myselfCopy !req
163. to a new pair
of Christy LaButtons,Copy !req
164. I don't have to
ask any man for $17.Copy !req
165. - I'm sorry, Christy who?
- LaButtons.Copy !req
166. They're knockoff
Christian Louboutins.Copy !req
167. I got tired of ruining
$1,200 shoesCopy !req
168. trying to impregnate
my boyfriend.Copy !req
169. You know something,
against all odds,Copy !req
170. you have a point.Copy !req
171. Feminism promised us
two things...Copy !req
172. Fatter dolls, and an end
to traditional gender roles.Copy !req
173. Why am I fighting this?Copy !req
174. So what if I make
more money than Criss?Copy !req
175. Exactly.
It doesn't bother me.Copy !req
176. Doesn't bother Oprah.Copy !req
177. It sure doesn't seem
to bother Criss.Copy !req
178. He's at yoga right now.Copy !req
179. You wear the pants, Liz.Copy !req
180. You don't necessarily
pull them offCopy !req
181. because of your hips,
but you wear them.Copy !req
182. So embrace it!Copy !req
183. Lemon, Avery's missed
the past 12 monthsCopy !req
184. of popular culture.Copy !req
185. Could you put together
a presentation for tomorrow?Copy !req
186. An hour, tops.Copy !req
187. An hour for the year?Copy !req
188. Am I supposed to just
scratch the surfaceCopy !req
189. of channing Tatum's
meteoric rise?Copy !req
190. Lemon, Avery did
something strange this morning.Copy !req
191. They brainwashed her,
didn't they?Copy !req
192. Avery said something
this morning...Copy !req
193. Something shocking.Copy !req
194. That no matter what happened
while she was gone,Copy !req
195. "all is forgiven."Copy !req
196. And that's bad?Copy !req
197. It seems awfully nice
of her, considering.Copy !req
198. Exactly. Awfully nice.Copy !req
199. Does that sound like Avery
to you?Copy !req
200. - Well, no.
- That woman does not forgive.Copy !req
201. She's still furious
with Al GoreCopy !req
202. for stealing George Bush's
idea to have an Internet.Copy !req
203. And now she's forgiving me?
Why?Copy !req
204. Because she wants to change
the conversationCopy !req
205. because she's done something
she doesn't want to talk about.Copy !req
206. And what do people
not want to talk about?Copy !req
207. Soccer, jazz, infidelity.Copy !req
208. Okay, first of all,Copy !req
209. I don't know what you
count as cheating,Copy !req
210. but she was forced
to marry someone else.Copy !req
211. Kim Jong-Un, Lemon.Copy !req
212. Have you seen news footage
of that man?Copy !req
213. I have so many missile!Copy !req
214. I even have
nuclear missile.Copy !req
215. Just for you,
sugarprong.Copy !req
216. There was another
American there, Lemon.Copy !req
217. A man. It raises
some red flags.Copy !req
218. Oh, my God.
Who are you to talk?Copy !req
219. You French-Canadian kissed
her mother,Copy !req
220. which is my name
for French kissingCopy !req
221. when it bums
everybody else out.Copy !req
222. Yes. Brilliant.
I'll use my indiscretionCopy !req
223. to guilt her into
revealing hers.Copy !req
224. The game is afoot!Copy !req
225. No. She's been back
for, like six hours.Copy !req
226. Maybe take a little time,Copy !req
227. let things get back
to normal.Copy !req
228. Playing psycho-sexual
mind games is our normal, Lemon.Copy !req
229. This is perfect.
Everything's perfect.Copy !req
230. Dadgum possum up and what
been bit my mother's neck brace.Copy !req
231. Dadgum possum up and what
been bit my mother's neck brace.Copy !req
232. - Again!
- Dadgum possum up and what beenCopy !req
233. my mom's neck brace.Copy !req
234. Again, you waste
of my time!Copy !req
235. Dadgum possum up'n what bit
my mama's neck brace!Copy !req
236. There it is.
Again!Copy !req
237. Excellent.
Again!Copy !req
238. Dixie's callin', y'all.
I reckon you should answer.Copy !req
239. No, this isn't right.Copy !req
240. This isn't Southern elegance.Copy !req
241. This is a dirtbag girl
I once knew.Copy !req
242. A girl named Jay-nuh!Copy !req
243. She used to get into
fistfights at water parks,Copy !req
244. and lost her virginity to a bait
salesman on a water bed.Copy !req
245. She's not who I am any more.
I'm classy.Copy !req
246. People who say that
about themselves usually are.Copy !req
247. This whole Southern thing
is wrong.Copy !req
248. I need to find
a new wedding sponsorCopy !req
249. that's as classy
as I am.Copy !req
250. I'm not this person,
'cause I done got rid of her!Copy !req
251. Kim Jong-Il could not
be reached for commentCopy !req
252. because he was having
a totally normal dayCopy !req
253. being alive and not dead.Copy !req
254. And now with sports,
Scott Scottsman.Copy !req
255. Thanks, Avery.
In NBA action,Copy !req
256. Kim Jong-Un won
the championship today.Copy !req
257. Our brilliant comrade
scored 200 pointsCopy !req
258. and then went hot-tubbing
with a couple guysCopy !req
259. he's definitely
just friends with.Copy !req
260. - Hey.
- Hi.Copy !req
261. Look, I've been thinking
about what you said earlierCopy !req
262. about forgiveness...
It was beautiful.Copy !req
263. But I would feel very guilty
if I kept anything from you,Copy !req
264. as I know you would if you
kept something from me.Copy !req
265. So while you were away,Copy !req
266. I did have feelings
for another woman.Copy !req
267. Thank you.Copy !req
268. I forgive you.Copy !req
269. You lose, Jack...Copy !req
270. Is what Kim Jong-Il said
to Jack NicklausCopy !req
271. after def eating him
in golf todayCopy !req
272. because they're both
totally alive.Copy !req
273. Wow, you went out
and bought a Fedora.Copy !req
274. Oh, this? I finally watched
the premiereCopy !req
275. of Prime suspect on Hulu.
It's really very good.Copy !req
276. Anyway, I thought
I would treat myself.Copy !req
277. But don't worry, I'm gonna
take care of you too.Copy !req
278. Wow. Okay, but look,Copy !req
279. I still want to chip in
on this renovation.Copy !req
280. And clean out
your life savings?Copy !req
281. Why don't you take
that $200Copy !req
282. and buy yourself
something cute?Copy !req
283. Here's a hint.
I like zippers.Copy !req
284. I'm a man.
I'm a man, I'm a man!Copy !req
285. I'm an adult man!Copy !req
286. You think I like you having
to pay for everything?Copy !req
287. It's humiliating.Copy !req
288. But gender roles,
fat dolls...Copy !req
289. You think I like having
to earn crisspointsCopy !req
290. so that I can take you on dates
that you actually pay for?Copy !req
291. I thought you liked
the crisspoints system.Copy !req
292. Only because liking
the crisspoints systemCopy !req
293. is one of the ways
I earn crisspoints!Copy !req
294. Okay, I'm sorry that I
offended your male pride,Copy !req
295. but you're the one who chose
to sell hot dogs out of a car.Copy !req
296. It is a van
with a car engine, Liz, okay?Copy !req
297. Now, look, if your show
gets canceled, okay,Copy !req
298. or NBC just becomes
a web siteCopy !req
299. that sells
used office supplies,Copy !req
300. I'd like to know that
I can take care of you.Copy !req
301. And now we're talking
about having a plant?Copy !req
302. It's stressing me out!Copy !req
303. Oh, really?
It's stressing you out?Copy !req
304. Of course, because you're
the personCopy !req
305. who has to krang that plant
for nine months,Copy !req
306. poop it, and then go back
to work to support both of you!Copy !req
307. Uhhuh.
So what you're saying isCopy !req
308. you need somebody different
to do this with.Copy !req
309. Somebody with money
that's probably named SpencerCopy !req
310. or Grant.Copy !req
311. And he has a watch,
and an office with a trash canCopy !req
312. and a little basketball hoop
on it.Copy !req
313. And he plays as hard
as he works because, damn it,Copy !req
314. he deserves to blow off
a little steam.Copy !req
315. God, I don't wanna be
with Spencer!Copy !req
316. And yet you're silent
about Grant.Copy !req
317. Well, guess what...
I'm gonna become Grant.Copy !req
318. That's right, tomorrow
I'm gonna take my truck out,Copy !req
319. and I'm gonna start
pulling my weight, like a man.Copy !req
320. Now, get in that bed,
and let's watch Dance moms.Copy !req
321. Hey, girl.Copy !req
322. Are you crying because
there are no rolesCopy !req
323. for actresses in their 40s,
nor should there be?Copy !req
324. I thought I found a classy
new sponsor for my wedding,Copy !req
325. but then something happened.Copy !req
326. Hubbard's flavorless
english water biscuits...Copy !req
327. I'm sorry.Copy !req
328. Hubbard's flavorless
english water biscuits...Copy !req
329. - Cut!
- They fired me.Copy !req
330. We did 50 takes,
and I couldn't do it.Copy !req
331. 50? That's nothing.
I once did 100 takesCopy !req
332. and still couldn't say
the word "incorrigible."Copy !req
333. Great, now I get it!Copy !req
334. Siri, bring Jessica Tandy
back to life.Copy !req
335. I thought that girl
from toilet swamp coveCopy !req
336. was dead and buried,Copy !req
337. but she's always been there
inside me,Copy !req
338. and now she's taking over.Copy !req
339. I want to throw a natty light
at a cop car!Copy !req
340. I have someone
inside me too.Copy !req
341. It's a bath toy
of a scuba diver.Copy !req
342. I need to take a walk
and clear my headCopy !req
343. Tracy...Copy !req
344. Jessica Tandy's zombie
is coming to find you.Copy !req
345. Is that correct?Copy !req
346. Yes, siri.
Thank you, baby.Copy !req
347. So, Lemon, I took your adviceCopy !req
348. and used my transgression with Diana,Copy !req
349. as a weapon
to interrogate Avery,Copy !req
350. just as you suggested.Copy !req
351. That is not
what I suggested.Copy !req
352. You just hear
what you want to hear.Copy !req
353. Oh, thank you.
They're from Italy.Copy !req
354. I just gave Avery
a little taste.Copy !req
355. Said I was attracted
to another woman.Copy !req
356. Guess what she told me.Copy !req
357. Nothing.
She just forgave me.Copy !req
358. Believe me,
I didn't expect herCopy !req
359. to come out of her
forgiveness bunker so easily,Copy !req
360. but I really need
to up the ante.Copy !req
361. Drop a grenade
in that bunker,Copy !req
362. like Jim Brown
in The Dirty Dozen.Copy !req
363. Enjoy your party, Nazis!Copy !req
364. Are you talking about
your wife?Copy !req
365. God, she's good.Copy !req
366. This kind of gamesmanship
is why I love her.Copy !req
367. She has the brain of a man, and
the ass of a French teenager.Copy !req
368. But I will win.Copy !req
369. I don't know, Jack,
it's 2012.Copy !req
370. It's not always clear who wears
the pants in the family.Copy !req
371. I do, Lemon.
I wear the pants.Copy !req
372. - Good morning.
- Oh, good morning.Copy !req
373. Nice pants, Avery.Copy !req
374. And, Liz, good to see you.Copy !req
375. Oh, you're hair's the same.Copy !req
376. It's not. Actually,
something terrible happened.Copy !req
377. I don't have
a lot of time.Copy !req
378. I have my year-in-finance
presentation after this,Copy !req
379. and Lloyd Blankfein slithers
back into the sewersCopy !req
380. to eat rotten fish
at 6:00, so...Copy !req
381. You know what, I'll just
read some US weeklies.Copy !req
382. - Thank you, Lemon.
- But it's an hour long,Copy !req
383. - like you wanted.
- Thank you.Copy !req
384. Fine.Copy !req
385. I'm gonna head down
to Goldman early.Copy !req
386. Avery, I should
tell you something.Copy !req
387. I wasn't completely honestCopy !req
388. when I was being
completely honest earlier.Copy !req
389. Let me stop you right there.Copy !req
390. I forgave you so that we
wouldn't have to discuss this.Copy !req
391. Let me stop you right there
from stopping me right there.Copy !req
392. I know why you forgave me.Copy !req
393. But the woman I mentioned,
we kissed.Copy !req
394. And I know I would hate it
if you kept somethingCopy !req
395. like that from me, so...Copy !req
396. So... I forgive you.Copy !req
397. And no matter what you say,Copy !req
398. I am always going to
forgive you.Copy !req
399. Always.Copy !req
400. Aha! What do you think?
Pretty awesome, huh?Copy !req
401. It's a brand new
location, Liz.Copy !req
402. I got a subway entrance
right here,Copy !req
403. and I got a tour bus stop
right there.Copy !req
404. Also, FOX News is
right across the street,Copy !req
405. and word is Greta Van Susteren
eats hot dogs like slimer.Copy !req
406. Yeah, who's usually here?Copy !req
407. Oh, right, those creepy,
off-brandCopy !req
408. sesame street characters
that harass touristsCopy !req
409. into paying them
to take pictures with them.Copy !req
410. I hate those guys.Copy !req
411. As a sesame street purist,Copy !req
412. I don't think Elmo usually
tells passing womenCopy !req
413. - the they have a sweet dumper.
- Move it!Copy !req
414. - This is our corner, pal!
- You don't own this corner.Copy !req
415. And I got a family
to support, like a man.Copy !req
416. - Oh!Copy !req
417. - Don't hit my cheekbones!
- Hey, stop it!Copy !req
418. Get off him, Elmo!Copy !req
419. Legally, I have to say
I'm Elmarg!Copy !req
420. Oh, them puppets done pickedCopy !req
421. the wrong day to cross
my kin!Copy !req
422. It's on,
panhandle style!Copy !req
423. Well, it's over.Copy !req
424. I'm never gonna get
a wedding sponsor now.Copy !req
425. That dirtbag Jay-nuh won.Copy !req
426. I wanted my wedding to be
an expression of who I am,Copy !req
427. and now it will be.Copy !req
428. I'm a panhandle hick,Copy !req
429. and my wedding will be
just another panelCopy !req
430. on my mother's family history
back tattoo.Copy !req
431. Oh, come on,
it's not all that bad.Copy !req
432. Look at that caption.Copy !req
433. "Aging star Jenna Maroney,
beats up Elmo with her..."Copy !req
434. So you own things.
That's good.Copy !req
435. "Christian..."
That's always a good word.Copy !req
436. Wait, did they say
"Christian" about my shoes?Copy !req
437. "With her
Christian Louboutins."Copy !req
438. They didn't know that my shoes
were cheap knockoffs.Copy !req
439. They thought they were fancy,Copy !req
440. even though
they're secretly crap.Copy !req
441. That's it.
That's who I am!Copy !req
442. I'm that knockoff
designer shoe.Copy !req
443. My outside is
shiny and pretty,Copy !req
444. but my inside is filled
with cardboard and horse glue.Copy !req
445. I've solved
my identity crisis!Copy !req
446. More importantly, I know
who can sponsor my wedding!Copy !req
447. No, I think it's a very
cool costume, mayor Bloomberg.Copy !req
448. Tonight,
I'm mayor Booo-mberg.Copy !req
449. Yes, I think
you've mentioned that.Copy !req
450. Booo... booo...Copy !req
451. Scott.Copy !req
452. Happy birthdaversary,
honey.Copy !req
453. Oh, Jack, this homecoming's
been amazing.Copy !req
454. Nice to see you relaxing
and enjoying yourself,Copy !req
455. and totally unprepared
for a forgiveness attack.Copy !req
456. - What?
- Avery...Copy !req
457. What?Copy !req
458. The woman I kissed
is your mother.Copy !req
459. That is... shocking.Copy !req
460. But I told you
all is forgiven,Copy !req
461. so... all is forgiven.Copy !req
462. What do I have to say
to guilt the truth out of you?Copy !req
463. How about this?
A few months ago,Copy !req
464. Liddy broke into
the gun safeCopy !req
465. and shot up
your gift-wrapping room.Copy !req
466. I did wear your nightgowns.Copy !req
467. Not to feel you near,
they're just comfortable.Copy !req
468. I had an erotic dream about
an adult Dora the explorer.Copy !req
469. I took her on a balcony
in Madrid,Copy !req
470. above the Plaza Mayor.Copy !req
471. She had flowers
in her hair.Copy !req
472. Now I've admitted everything.Copy !req
473. Game over, Avery.
Tell me what you did.Copy !req
474. I'll tell you exactly
what I did, Jack.Copy !req
475. - I won.
- You what?Copy !req
476. I got you to tell me
everything you did.Copy !req
477. And guess what...
I didn't do anything.Copy !req
478. - But Scott Scottsman...
- Until the flight home,Copy !req
479. the only words I'd ever said
to Scott Scottsman were,Copy !req
480. "and now with sports,
Scott Scottsman."Copy !req
481. I thought I was playing you,Copy !req
482. and you were playing me
the whole time.Copy !req
483. And in 24 hours,
I got you to tell me thingsCopy !req
484. it would have taken you years
to admit.Copy !req
485. Now we can start over.Copy !req
486. The final piece of the puzzle
is just me forgiving youCopy !req
487. for, um...
Kissing my mother!Copy !req
488. We did it.
Everything's normal.Copy !req
489. - USA!
- It's classic us.Copy !req
490. Damn it, Jessup,
I'd marry you all over again!Copy !req
491. That's what we're gonna do.
We've gonna renew our vows.Copy !req
492. - We need a new blender anyway.
- Oh, baby.Copy !req
493. Oh!Copy !req
494. Sorry I'm late.Copy !req
495. Criss got into a fight with an Elmo.Copy !req
496. And he hates it that
I make more money than he does.Copy !req
497. And I don't know, maybe we're not
supposed to have a plant together.Copy !req
498. - Love is complicated, right?
- Wrong.Copy !req
499. - We kicked love's ass!
- Yes!Copy !req
500. We're renewing our vows.Copy !req
501. No, no, renewing vows
is a kiss of death.Copy !req
502. You should have let me
finish my rap.Copy !req
503. There was a whole verse
about it!Copy !req
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Lemon out!Copy !req
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