1. Why did I just received this viewer essaysCopy !req
2. On the subject
"why I love TGS?"Copy !req
3. Please tell me it's not—Copy !req
4. - The annual tgs viewer
walk-on contest.Copy !req
5. It's great promotion, lemon.Copy !req
6. We found that if someone
is actually on nbc,Copy !req
7. They're 4% more likely
to watch it.Copy !req
8. - Really?
We're doing this again?Copy !req
9. After what
happened last year?Copy !req
10. - Gassy patsy,
you can't eat—Copy !req
11. keep the white house white.Copy !req
12. - You know who enters
these walk-on contests?Copy !req
13. Weirdos.Copy !req
14. - Read the essays, lemon.
It's not going to kill you.Copy !req
15. - Oh, really? 'cause this one
is typed on the insideCopy !req
16. Of a bloody halter top.Copy !req
17. - Just pick one.Copy !req
18. And while you're at it,
which one of these tiesCopy !req
19. Do you prefer?Copy !req
20. - I thought you said
a man should never wear pastelCopy !req
21. Unless he's a black guy
on easter.Copy !req
22. - Usually, but I'm going
on the today showCopy !req
23. To talk about avery,Copy !req
24. And I need to tone down
my natural auraCopy !req
25. Of strength
and sexual dominance.Copy !req
26. Which wasn't going to happenCopy !req
27. With the tie
I was going to wear.Copy !req
28. oh, my.Copy !req
29. So, uh, what is the news
with avery?Copy !req
30. - Uh, there isn't any,
and that's the problem.Copy !req
31. The u.N. Is useless,
the state departmentCopy !req
32. Is full of democrats,Copy !req
33. And as it turns out,
amnesty internationalCopy !req
34. Is nothing but a company
that makes and sells candles.Copy !req
35. - That explains all the vigils.
That is a good scam.Copy !req
36. - It's been a year,
and the media have moved on.Copy !req
37. - Media is a plural noun.
Put this tie on.Copy !req
38. - I have to find a way
to get avery's storyCopy !req
39. Back on the front page.Copy !req
40. Fortunately, I run a network
with a news division,Copy !req
41. And I will do whatever it takes
to keep avery's plightCopy !req
42. In the public eye.Copy !req
43. Even...Copy !req
44. Go and see Matt Lauer's band.
It's blues rock, Lemon.Copy !req
45. It's called...Copy !req
46. "Rhythm And News".Copy !req
47. - Lemon, no.Copy !req
48. - Sir, I've been thinking.Copy !req
49. I know I'm a big shot now
with my suitsCopy !req
50. And a desk lamp
that I control,Copy !req
51. But I just want you to knowCopy !req
52. I will always be a page
at heart.Copy !req
53. Even if I did just receive
a fancy award at my new job.Copy !req
54. - On behalf of
the motherCopy !req
55. Standards department,Copy !req
56. I, gaylord felcher,
present youCopy !req
57. With the "employee
of the week" award.Copy !req
58. Let's give it up for thisCopy !req
59. bag of.Copy !req
60. - So what can I get for you?Copy !req
61. - And hazel's on it, tracy.Copy !req
62. Kenneth, can I speak with you?Copy !req
63. - Can you?
You just did.Copy !req
64. - What's your problem?Copy !req
65. - Oh, my, well...Copy !req
66. My parents were
technically brothers—Copy !req
67. - Look, I'm trying to do
my job here.Copy !req
68. Tracy's my responsibility now.
I take care of him.Copy !req
69. - Oh, well, I'm sorry,
ms. What's-her-name,Copy !req
70. But I'll always be there
for mr. Jordan.Copy !req
71. He has a special place
in my heart.Copy !req
72. Just like nana Parcell,
my heartworm.Copy !req
73. - Ugh!Copy !req
74. - Hey, Jack.
What are you still doing here?Copy !req
75. Your segment was bumped.
- What?Copy !req
76. Why? You guys doing
another hard-hitting exposeCopy !req
77. On how to plan a staycation
with your cyber bully?Copy !req
78. - No, it's real news for once.Copy !req
79. There was a mine collapse
in china.Copy !req
80. Turns out,
to keep labor costs down,Copy !req
81. All the miners there
are babies.Copy !req
82. They pay 'em in yogurt.Copy !req
83. - God.Copy !req
84. Remember when we used to be the
world leader in baby cuteness?Copy !req
85. I can't compete with that.Copy !req
86. - Also, adult dogs can't fit
in the baby mines,Copy !req
87. So they're lowering down puppies
to bring in supplies.Copy !req
88. - Hey, thanks for coming
to see my band last night.Copy !req
89. - Yes, I didn't expect you
to play for four hours.Copy !req
90. - Hey, dummies, I need you guys
to write a sketchCopy !req
91. With a non-speaking part for
whoever wins this dumb contest.Copy !req
92. And do not write another
sketch about KrangCopy !req
93. From teenage mutant
ninja turtles.Copy !req
94. No one knows who Krang is.Copy !req
95. It would be a waste of time to
talk about Krang on television.Copy !req
96. No more Krang!Copy !req
97. - Liz?
- Krang!Copy !req
98. What the hell, Hazel?Copy !req
99. - Can I ask your advice,
woman to woman?Copy !req
100. - Are you sure?Copy !req
101. 'cause I took one of thoseCopy !req
102. "which gossip girl are you?"
quizzes,Copy !req
103. And it said I was
the dad's guitar.Copy !req
104. - please.
You are so amazing.Copy !req
105. This place
is such a boys' club,Copy !req
106. But you boss them around
like an amazon warrior queen.Copy !req
107. And look at your body.Copy !req
108. Your rack is like, "pow!"Copy !req
109. - Hazel, what is the question?
- It's kenneth.Copy !req
110. He's not a page anymore,Copy !req
111. But he keeps trying
to do my job for me.Copy !req
112. And when I confronted him
about it,Copy !req
113. He was so condescending.Copy !req
114. He laughed at me, and then
he undressed me with his eyes.Copy !req
115. And then he had his way
with me.Copy !req
116. With his eyes.Copy !req
117. - Ugh. The male gaze.
- Yeah.Copy !req
118. They're all a bunch of gays.Copy !req
119. - No, Kenneth is sweet,
but he's still a man.Copy !req
120. And in our society,
men get praisedCopy !req
121. For just taking
whatever they want.Copy !req
122. But what do people call women
who are tough and ambitious?Copy !req
123. - Leslie or Courtney?Copy !req
124. - What? No.
A bitch.Copy !req
125. Well, you may be at the bottom
of the totem pole now,Copy !req
126. But you're in the game.Copy !req
127. So play it like a man and don't
let anyone try to stop you.Copy !req
128. Just like the karate kid—
Hilary Swank "Karate Kid IV".Copy !req
129. - I want you to be my mentor.Copy !req
130. - Julie-san,
fighting not good.Copy !req
131. But if must fight, win.Copy !req
132. Kesuke Miyagi,
Karate Kid IV.Copy !req
133. I accept!Copy !req
134. - You listen to me,
Blitzer.Copy !req
135. Either CNN gets back
on the Avery Jessup story,Copy !req
136. Or I'll tell everyone your
real name, Steel Hammerhands.Copy !req
137. Hello?Copy !req
138. Steel?
Mr. Hammerhands?Copy !req
139. - Jack.Copy !req
140. I have an important
actor request.Copy !req
141. - This is not really
a good time, Jenna.Copy !req
142. - I want you to hire a giant
to stand in the backgroundCopy !req
143. Of every scene I'm in
to make me look daintier.Copy !req
144. It works.Copy !req
145. It's why Lamar Odom married
that giant Kardashian girl.Copy !req
146. - I run a TV network,Copy !req
147. And I still can't get my wife's
story on the air.Copy !req
148. The world may have forgotten
about Avery, but I haven't.Copy !req
149. Sometimes at night,
I sit here in the dark,Copy !req
150. Drinking scotch,
staring at that doorway,Copy !req
151. Hoping against hopeCopy !req
152. That she'll walk
as if nothing ever happened.Copy !req
153. "I'm home, Jack.Copy !req
154. And I brought back a bunch
of oriental sex powders."Copy !req
155. - I know how you can get
avery back on television.Copy !req
156. Her story has everything!Copy !req
157. Blondeness, kidnapping,Copy !req
158. A villain with an accent.Copy !req
159. It's the perfect tv movie.
I should know.Copy !req
160. I played italian party whore
in the amanda knox story.Copy !req
161. - A tv movie—jenna, I don't
want to trivialize this ordeal.Copy !req
162. - But those movies get results.Copy !req
163. Every kidnapped woman
I've ever playedCopy !req
164. Has been released.Copy !req
165. - Well, it would allow me
to control the story.Copy !req
166. - Well, you better hurry, jack.Copy !req
167. Oxygen is already working
on a movieCopy !req
168. About the baby miners.Copy !req
169. - Then we'll have
to slow them down.Copy !req
170. Gabriel...Copy !req
171. Send a bunch of pies
to the oxygen network.Copy !req
172. - Excuse me,
ms. What's-her-name.Copy !req
173. What's that?Copy !req
174. - Not that it's any
of your business,Copy !req
175. But tracy's jaw is tired
from pretending to be pac-man.Copy !req
176. So I'm making it easier
for him to eat.Copy !req
177. - No! No!Copy !req
178. He can't eat that junk.Copy !req
179. He just got his cholesterol
down to triple digits.Copy !req
180. - Get off my ass, parcell.
I'm doing my job.Copy !req
181. You think you can push me around
just because you have a penis?Copy !req
182. - I definitely have a penis.Copy !req
183. - You think I'm some
delicate little girlCopy !req
184. Who'll do whatever you say?Copy !req
185. Well, I'm not delicate.Copy !req
186. I've been in tons
of car wrecks.Copy !req
187. - Hazel, I just peed this.Copy !req
188. Could you take care
of it for me?Copy !req
189. - Sir!Copy !req
190. I am resuming responsibility
for your care.Copy !req
191. You are in dire needCopy !req
192. Of a getting-your-act-together
montage.Copy !req
193. You wanna be bossed around
by this trailer park hitler?Copy !req
194. Or do you wanna do whatever you
want with a sexy, fun bitchCopy !req
195. Who just bought you a pinata?Copy !req
196. - Awesome!Copy !req
197. +Copy !req
198. Miss lemon, do you
have a secondCopy !req
199. Or are you busy regretting
your life choices,Copy !req
200. For example, missing your window
for having children?Copy !req
201. - Get to the point, kenneth.
- It's hazel.Copy !req
202. I'm trying to help her,
but she's gone crazy.Copy !req
203. - Uh-huh.
You can't handle the factCopy !req
204. That a woman is doing
your old job.Copy !req
205. What a world.Copy !req
206. I bet even hillary clinton
has to put up with this crapCopy !req
207. From whoever was
secretary of state before her.Copy !req
208. - You mean condoleezza—
- shut up.Copy !req
209. Look, I believe in hazel.
I happen to be her mentor.Copy !req
210. So to quote mr. Miyagi,Copy !req
211. "leave girl alone or you deal
with me, surf shop owner."Copy !req
212. - Hey, sweetie.
How was your day?Copy !req
213. - Not even half over, hazel.Copy !req
214. Ugh! I still have to read
all these essays.Copy !req
215. Okay.
- Look at you.Copy !req
216. You're a whirlwind—
in charge in the board room...Copy !req
217. And the bedroom.
- Sure.Copy !req
218. - You're a modern,
dtf type womanCopy !req
219. Whose whole vibe says,Copy !req
220. "yeah! Dig sex and I'm not
gonna apologize for it."Copy !req
221. - Okay, here's a little
bedroom tip.Copy !req
222. Put a bag of popcorn
in the microwave beforehand.Copy !req
223. That way, when you're done,
you have a treat.Copy !req
224. - I wish I had your
emotional intelligence.Copy !req
225. My boyfriend razmig and I
have hit a little rough patch.Copy !req
226. - Okay.
Lay it on me.Copy !req
227. - Well, I went home
this afternoon to get some,Copy !req
228. And I found razmig banging the
fattest chick I've ever seen.Copy !req
229. And you know,
I used to weigh 800 pounds.Copy !req
230. - Stop right there.Copy !req
231. You didn't hit a rough patch.
He cheated on you.Copy !req
232. You have to dump him
immediately.Copy !req
233. - What?
How can you say that?Copy !req
234. - Hazel,
I'm trying to help you.Copy !req
235. - By asking me to break up
with the man I love?Copy !req
236. Helping me would be teaching me
how to spice things up.Copy !req
237. Like by greeting him
at the front doorCopy !req
238. Wearing nothing
but false teeth.Copy !req
239. I'm very disappointed
in your mentorship, liz.Copy !req
240. If this were two years ago,Copy !req
241. I would sit on you
till you died.Copy !req
242. - No wigs.Copy !req
243. I said no wigs.Copy !req
244. You're not a lead, gabe.Copy !req
245. At best, you're a featured extra
with no lines.Copy !req
246. Do you understand?
- Hey, gabe.Copy !req
247. - Lemon, would you be interested
in writing the screenplayCopy !req
248. For the greatest love story
ever told?Copy !req
249. - You mean lois lane's love
affair with journalism?Copy !req
250. I said it.
- Avery and me.Copy !req
251. I'm producing
a television movieCopy !req
252. To get her back
in the headlines.Copy !req
253. For obvious reasons,
I'm fast-tracking the project.Copy !req
254. The script is due on Monday.
- Monday?Copy !req
255. Hmm. I guess I won't be able
to go to the gym this weekend.Copy !req
256. - I know it's short notice,Copy !req
257. But I would consider it
a personal favorCopy !req
258. After six years of listening
to you complainCopy !req
259. About how there are
so few women on death row.Copy !req
260. - Is a coincidence,
or is the system sexist?Copy !req
261. Oh! Speaking
of our amazing dynamic,Copy !req
262. I have taken on a mentee
of my own, jack—Copy !req
263. A page named hazel.Copy !req
264. - You're a mentor?Copy !req
265. But that makes me
a grand-mentor.Copy !req
266. And I'm still so young.
- Don't worry.Copy !req
267. I already messed it up.Copy !req
268. I told her to break up
with her awful boyfriendCopy !req
269. And she got really mad at me.Copy !req
270. - Often, the best way
for a mentee to learnCopy !req
271. Is for you
to let her fail.Copy !req
272. - Wait, does that mean
you've done that to me?Copy !req
273. When?
- Um—Copy !req
274. - I think the crowd
at the apolloCopy !req
275. Might welcome
a change of pace.Copy !req
276. - You're right.
You should do it.Copy !req
277. Sometimes, they have
to learn the hard way.Copy !req
278. If hazel rejects your advice,
let her.Copy !req
279. She'll get there on her ownCopy !req
280. Just like you did
after the crowd at the apolloCopy !req
281. Chased you into the river.Copy !req
282. - Okay, I understand the irony
of what I'm about to say,Copy !req
283. But I reject that advice.Copy !req
284. Don't worry, I'll bring you back
a t-shirt from successtown.Copy !req
285. Ow! My groin!Copy !req
286. - Mr. Jordan!
- K-dog.Copy !req
287. You were wrong.
They do still make crossbows.Copy !req
288. - You let him buy a crossbow?Copy !req
289. And a motorcycle?Copy !req
290. - No, kenneth, I let him buy
a motorcycle rampCopy !req
291. And no motorcycle!Copy !req
292. Can I help you?Copy !req
293. Tracy's very tired.
He didn't sleep last night.Copy !req
294. - Why not?Copy !req
295. If he doesn't get at least
14 hours a night,Copy !req
296. He starts to go crazy.Copy !req
297. - We on a show within a show!Copy !req
298. My real name
is tracy morgan!Copy !req
299. - Well, tracy wanted
to go clubbing.Copy !req
300. And I don't know
if you know this, kenneth,Copy !req
301. But night clubs
are open at night.Copy !req
302. - You didn't let him drink,
did you?Copy !req
303. Mr. Jordan can't mix alcohol
with his medication.Copy !req
304. - I'm not an idiot, kenneth.
I took him off his medication.Copy !req
305. - You what?Copy !req
306. Why are you doing this?Copy !req
307. - Because liz told me to.Copy !req
308. Having access to tracy
is an opportunity,Copy !req
309. And I'm
taking advantage of it.Copy !req
310. Did you see page six today?Copy !req
311. Those are my toes
he's sucking on.Copy !req
312. And he did not want to.Copy !req
313. ah, mm.Copy !req
314. - Jack!Copy !req
315. What the hell is this?Copy !req
316. - Where did you get that?Copy !req
317. - Donna from casting and I
are friends.Copy !req
318. Well, not so much friendsCopy !req
319. As I own a magnet
that can scramble her pacemaker.Copy !req
320. - Jenna,
you are not playing avery.Copy !req
321. - Why not?
This movie was my idea!Copy !req
322. - I appreciate that.Copy !req
323. You can play
a Korean party whore.Copy !req
324. I just don't think you can
capture avery's essence.Copy !req
325. - That's ridiculous.Copy !req
326. I posed bottomless in essence.Copy !req
327. - Jenna, avery is worldly.
Traveled.Copy !req
328. She went to yale.Copy !req
329. - Oh, I see.Copy !req
330. You think I'm stupid,
just because my collegeCopy !req
331. Got tipped
over by those miami heat fans.Copy !req
332. - I didn't say stupid.Copy !req
333. Jenna, there are many kinds
of intelligence.Copy !req
334. Practical, emotional,
and there's actual intelligence,Copy !req
335. Which is
what I'm talking about.Copy !req
336. - I want this part, jack.Copy !req
337. It's a guaranteed
emmy nomination.Copy !req
338. - I'm sorry.
I've made up my mind.Copy !req
339. - Very well.Copy !req
340. But let me
ask you this, jack.Copy !req
341. Would a dumb person be able
to think of something amazingCopy !req
342. To say as she leaves?Copy !req
343. - Liz, we have a show
in four hours.Copy !req
344. Have you still not picked
a contest winner?Copy !req
345. - Ugh! Fine,
I'll just pick one at random.Copy !req
346. It's joren van der sloot.Copy !req
347. - We can't fly someone
from peru now.Copy !req
348. There's no time.Copy !req
349. - Oh, hazel, we need to talk.
- I'm busy, liz.Copy !req
350. Tracy wants me to paom in.Copy !req
351. Is this dress appropriateCopy !req
352. For watching pornography
with penn jillette?Copy !req
353. - Okay, normally we don't
encourage tracy to go to vegas,Copy !req
354. Because of his gambling
addiction and his fear of magic.Copy !req
355. But maybe a weekend away
from razmig is a good thing.Copy !req
356. - No.
Razmig's coming with me.Copy !req
357. - what?
Who is this, hah-zel?Copy !req
358. I no permit you talk
other woman.Copy !req
359. - Okay, I'm putting
my foot down.Copy !req
360. This guy is no good for you
and I order you, as your mentor,Copy !req
361. To dump him.Copy !req
362. - You don't know what you're
talking about, liz.Copy !req
363. Razmig is amazing.
He makes me laugh.Copy !req
364. - Oh, where is toilet pail?
Razmig must make mud.Copy !req
365. razmig!Copy !req
366. - Hazel, no.
I'm not letting you—Copy !req
367. let her fail, liz.Copy !req
368. Let her get there on her own.Copy !req
369. - You know what, fine.
You're right, I'm wrong.Copy !req
370. Go, be with razmig.
- Thank you, liz.Copy !req
371. It takes a big woman
to admit she's wrong.Copy !req
372. - You are a big woman.Copy !req
373. You have pictures?
Fat nudes?Copy !req
374. I need your help, ms. Maroney.Copy !req
375. - Absolutely.Copy !req
376. Oh, I thought
you were someone famous.Copy !req
377. You sound a lot
like reese witherspoon.Copy !req
378. What do you want?Copy !req
379. - I'm afraid if mr. Jordan
goes to las vegas this weekend,Copy !req
380. He's gonna die.Copy !req
381. - I'm not hearing my name,
kenneth.Copy !req
382. - So I thought you—Copy !req
383. - Oh, thank god.
That took forever.Copy !req
384. - I thought you could teach me
how to get around hazel.Copy !req
385. If I could just get one minute
alone with mr. Jordan—Copy !req
386. - You can convince him
he's wrong. Yes!Copy !req
387. But how do you get
his attention?Copy !req
388. All the world's a stage,
kenneth.Copy !req
389. Just play the part.Copy !req
390. - Play the part?Copy !req
391. +Copy !req
392. - Ms. Lemon.Copy !req
393. If it's not too late,Copy !req
394. I would like the essay contest
to win a roleCopy !req
395. On tgs with tracy jordan.Copy !req
396. - No, kenneth,
you can't enter.Copy !req
397. The contest isn't open
to nbc employees.Copy !req
398. - I know, ma'am-maw.Copy !req
399. Which is why I just
quit my jobCopy !req
400. At standards and practices.Copy !req
401. - I may hate you
right now,Copy !req
402. You little, but
damn it I respect you.Copy !req
403. - Kenneth,
you know this is justCopy !req
404. To be a non-speaking extra,
right?Copy !req
405. - I know.Copy !req
406. But have you ever loved
something so muchCopy !req
407. That you would sacrifice
anything for it?Copy !req
408. - Nope.Copy !req
409. But you know what,
this is perfect.Copy !req
410. Because then I don't have
to pick some crazy person,Copy !req
411. And I know you won't do anything
weird on the air.Copy !req
412. - I'm kenneth!Copy !req
413. - Get to wardrobe,
contest winner!Copy !req
414. This is gonna be
a great show.Copy !req
415. - Hello?
- Hi, it's charles from the u.N.Copy !req
416. We found your wifeCopy !req
417. And I dropped her off
at the office.Copy !req
418. She should be there
right about now.Copy !req
419. - Jack, it's me.
I'm home.Copy !req
420. - No, you're not my wife.Copy !req
421. - How could you say that,
darling?Copy !req
422. I'm avery jesbert.
- Jenna?Copy !req
423. - No, don't turn on
the light.Copy !req
424. Surprised?Copy !req
425. - Let's set aside
how idiotic that plan was,Copy !req
426. And imagine a world
where it actually worked.Copy !req
427. - I appreciate your feedback.Copy !req
428. - If I had believed you
for one second,Copy !req
429. I would've been devastated,
heartbroken!Copy !req
430. - You wanna talk
about devastation?Copy !req
431. How do you think I felt when you
told me I couldn't play avery?Copy !req
432. - You are a monster.Copy !req
433. What you have done here today,
it's—it's...Copy !req
434. The second cruelest thing
that anyone has ever done to me.Copy !req
435. Do you know what
the cruelest is?Copy !req
436. - When I went to the bathroom
on the hood of your carCopy !req
437. Before I thought of this plan?Copy !req
438. - Avery had me committed
to a mental hospitalCopy !req
439. So she
and her college roommateCopy !req
440. Could use my yankee tickets
on opening day.Copy !req
441. - That's a nice story, jack,
but I don't hear my name in it.Copy !req
442. - You—
- finally.Copy !req
443. - You may not have
avery's grace and acumen,Copy !req
444. But you do have the one thing
that makes her so special—Copy !req
445. Her ruthless pursuit
of self-interest.Copy !req
446. It's the heart of capitalism.Copy !req
447. And the beautiful black heart
of my wife.Copy !req
448. Jenna, you have avery's essence.
Congratulations.Copy !req
449. The part is yours.Copy !req
450. - Oh! You won't regret this.Copy !req
451. We're gonna get her home,
jack.Copy !req
452. Now if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
453. I have a female condom
to take out.Copy !req
454. Unless...Copy !req
455. Going once...Copy !req
456. - Four, three—Copy !req
457. - Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
458. A message from the president
of the United States.Copy !req
459. - Goo-goo, ga-ga,
my fellow ah-meh-ri-cans.Copy !req
460. - Okay, he's never been worse.Copy !req
461. Is kenneth supposed to enter?Copy !req
462. - I love you, sir.Copy !req
463. - Ken, where have you been?Copy !req
464. - Damn it.
- I've been here all along.Copy !req
465. I never left.
And I never will.Copy !req
466. - Go to commercial.Copy !req
467. - They told us
we can't do that any more.Copy !req
468. - What?Copy !req
469. - I quit my job
to be here, mr. Jordan.Copy !req
470. It was the only way
I could get around hazel.Copy !req
471. - You quit your job for me?Copy !req
472. - I'm not just gonna sit by
and watch you destroy yourself.Copy !req
473. 'cause I would do anything
for love,Copy !req
474. But I won't do that.Copy !req
475. - The girl in that video was hot
in an early '90s kind of way.Copy !req
476. - Now... Take your medicine.Copy !req
477. - This has been a messageCopy !req
478. From the president
of the United States.Copy !req
479. - Tough night?Copy !req
480. Come on, lemon.
The show was all right.Copy !req
481. What about the sketch
with the guy who was worriedCopy !req
482. About his sexual performance?Copy !req
483. - That was a real commercial for
an erectile dysfunction drug.Copy !req
484. - Well, I laughed.Copy !req
485. So, uh, how did things
shake out with hazel?Copy !req
486. - Not great.Copy !req
487. My way, which is still
the right way, didn't work.Copy !req
488. So just to see,
I did your thing.Copy !req
489. - Good.
You let her fail.Copy !req
490. That's how the banking industry
learned its lesson.Copy !req
491. And now they're doing amazing,
and everyone's honest.Copy !req
492. - Mm. Your thing
didn't work either.Copy !req
493. - Are you sure?Copy !req
494. Mentoring is not
an exact science.Copy !req
495. - Why aren't there
more female serial killers?Copy !req
496. What does that say
about our society—Copy !req
497. - Liz!Copy !req
498. - Oh, here she is.
She's here.Copy !req
499. - Liz, I was watching the show
fall apartCopy !req
500. While razmig gave me
a prison tattoo of his face,Copy !req
501. And I heard your voice.Copy !req
502. I finally heard
everything you said to me.Copy !req
503. "hazel,
you're a beautiful flower.Copy !req
504. "let yourself bloom.Copy !req
505. "what are you doing
this weekend, hazel?Copy !req
506. Are there still bath houses?
Let's go to one!"Copy !req
507. - I never said any of that,
but—Copy !req
508. - You were right all along.Copy !req
509. You knew I was making
the wrong choices.Copy !req
510. But you let me fail.
With razmig, with tracy.Copy !req
511. - Yes, I was definitely
on top of that tracy thing.Copy !req
512. - You were teaching me
the whole time,Copy !req
513. And all the while lighting
a fire with that hot ass.Copy !req
514. - I'm... Jack.Copy !req
515. I'm your grand-mentor.
Liz?Copy !req
516. She's beautiful.Copy !req
517. +Copy !req
518. Okay! Please welcome
to the stage leminem!Copy !req
519. Ooh!Copy !req