1. Tracy, Jenna.Copy !req
2. We all know what happenedCopy !req
3. when you hosted
the St. Patrick's day paradeCopy !req
4. three years ago.Copy !req
5. Wake up,
mother-.Copy !req
6. And when you hosted
two years ago.Copy !req
7. Die, demon!Copy !req
8. Why didn't you
ever call me back?Copy !req
9. Unfortunately,
unless Harry's lawCopy !req
10. really took off this week
and no one told me,Copy !req
11. you two are the biggest stars
at the network.Copy !req
12. But this year,
everything you sayCopy !req
13. will be scripted
and on prompter.Copy !req
14. Do not deviate
from the script.Copy !req
15. Jack, Tracy and I
are total pros.Copy !req
16. On television,Copy !req
17. and when it comes to
the assisted suicide debate.Copy !req
18. Secret handshake,
my baloney.Copy !req
19. Hazel,
I won't be here tomorrow,Copy !req
20. so... I wanted
to give you this.Copy !req
21. It's the tail I had
until I was 16.Copy !req
22. Well, don't worry
about the parade.Copy !req
23. I'll take care
of Tracy and JennaCopy !req
24. like they're
my own children.Copy !req
25. Which is a bad example,Copy !req
26. because I left my kids
at a sears in 2004.Copy !req
27. I told you about
Mr. Jordan's allergies, right?Copy !req
28. Yes, Kenneth.Copy !req
29. He's only allergic
to allergy medication.Copy !req
30. But he loves it.
And Ms. Mulroney's...Copy !req
31. Kenneth, let go.
This is my rodeo now.Copy !req
32. Well, not literally,
of course.Copy !req
33. The U.S. Rodeo Association
does not lift lifetime bans.Copy !req
34. So are you gonna work
through St. Patrick's day?Copy !req
35. Don't you want to celebrate
Ireland's great accomplishments,Copy !req
36. like Michael Lohan
and vomiting into a bagpipe?Copy !req
37. Lemon,
so I take itCopy !req
38. you will not be
wearing green tomorrow.Copy !req
39. I will be wearing
head-to-toe orange,Copy !req
40. in honor of protestant
William of Orange,Copy !req
41. inventor of the Orange,
according to Yahoo answers.Copy !req
42. with an old tooth
stuck in it.Copy !req
43. Well,
you'll never see me,Copy !req
44. 'cause I don't leave my house
on St. Patrick's day.Copy !req
45. Criss and I are going
to ride out hurricane shamrockCopy !req
46. holed up in my apartment,Copy !req
47. laughing at excerpts
from Angela's ashes.Copy !req
48. You know, some people might
find your attitude offensive.Copy !req
49. What are they
going to do about it,Copy !req
50. write a meandering playCopy !req
51. about how amazing the Irish are
at not overcoming adversity?Copy !req
52. Well, I'm sorry
we can't all belongCopy !req
53. to ethnic groups
as beloved as the Germans.Copy !req
54. Please,
without Germans,Copy !req
55. you wouldn't have any
of the Indiana Jonesmovies.Copy !req
56. Lemon, your secret love
of the Irish is well-documented.Copy !req
57. After all,
I am your mentor,Copy !req
58. you dated Dennis Duffy,Copy !req
59. and in the '90s,
you gave money to the IRA.Copy !req
60. I thought it was contributing
to a retirement account.Copy !req
61. You know, I think
someone needs to learnCopy !req
62. a St. Patrick's day lesson.Copy !req
63. What is that?
A curse?Copy !req
64. Take it back,
you witch!Copy !req
65. 30 ROCK
S06 Ep 12 - St. Patrick's DayCopy !req
66. This American life,Copy !req
67. Saturday, March 17th,
St. Patrick's day.Copy !req
68. You know, everybody complains
about the weather,Copy !req
69. but today on the program,
we meet somebody who actually...Copy !req
70. What are you doing?
Get out of my studio!Copy !req
71. Happy St. Patrick's day!Copy !req
72. Let go of me!Copy !req
73. Didn't you hear
my show on bullying?Copy !req
74. Criss,
watch this.Copy !req
75. Megan!
Megan!Copy !req
76. Look at them spin around.
They're so confused.Copy !req
77. - Awesome.
- It's too many Megans, right?Copy !req
78. I love you.Copy !req
79. I just ordered thai food.
How much do you love me now?Copy !req
80. Man, they're fast.Copy !req
81. You know what, I can't wait
till the asians take over.Copy !req
82. Thank God for delivery,
keeping us insideCopy !req
83. and safe from
all the Irish nonsense.Copy !req
84. Dummy.Copy !req
85. The curse.Copy !req
86. What's up?
I'm Dennis,Copy !req
87. a former lover of Liz's...Copy !req
88. I tried to steal beer
from a Duane reade,Copy !req
89. and some black guy
cold-cocked me.Copy !req
90. Like a security guard?Copy !req
91. I don't know, pal.Copy !req
92. I don't see people
that way.Copy !req
93. No, no.
No.Copy !req
94. Before we go on,Copy !req
95. - do you want to pray together?
- Yeah.Copy !req
96. - Michael Jackson's ghost...
- Great Kabbalah monster...Copy !req
97. NBC is showing the promo
I worked on for the parade!Copy !req
98. I'm famous.Copy !req
99. And now back to
NBC's live coverageCopy !req
100. of the 2012
St. Patrick's day parade,Copy !req
101. with hosts Jenna Maroney
and Tracy Jordan.Copy !req
102. My God!
They said my name first.Copy !req
103. But I'm more famous
than you.Copy !req
104. This is probably
some Hollywood prank,Copy !req
105. like on the set
ocean's 12,Copy !req
106. when I put that snake
in George Clooney's bed.Copy !req
107. I was not in the movie.Copy !req
108. Or maybe now that
Kidz is a giant hit,Copy !req
109. I'm the one
America wants to see.Copy !req
110. You better not be
talking aboutCopy !req
111. my dear friend,
America Ferrera.Copy !req
112. Get your stuff
out of here,Copy !req
113. 'cause I get
the bigger dressing room now.Copy !req
114. I'll replace your lizardCopy !req
115. with a gay guy
in a giant champagne bottle.Copy !req
116. Siri, kill Jenna!Copy !req
117. what's going on?Copy !req
118. I get second billing
to this small-boobied grandma?Copy !req
119. No, you guys are friends,
remember? "My baloney"?Copy !req
120. The only baloney Tracy has
is the baloney he's full of.Copy !req
121. Why would you say that?Copy !req
122. You can't take that back.Copy !req
123. I killed Jenna elfman.
Is that right?Copy !req
124. Did you show them
the promo?Copy !req
125. Hazel, we don't let them
watch NBC.Copy !req
126. Jenna thinks
that Christina AguileraCopy !req
127. lost her voice
during childbirth,Copy !req
128. and Tracy doesn't
need to knowCopy !req
129. that he just became
number two around here.Copy !req
130. That kind of mistake
can ruin everything.Copy !req
131. I don't like
the way you're talking to me.Copy !req
132. Why don't we drive to Sears?
I'll buy you a toy.Copy !req
133. Excuse me.
May I help you?Copy !req
134. What? We don't use your
bathroom when you're not here.Copy !req
135. I'm Lutz.Copy !req
136. Frank, first of all,Copy !req
137. what are you doing here
on a Saturday?Copy !req
138. None of the writers can
go out on St. Patrick's dayCopy !req
139. because we all have faces people
naturally just want to punch.Copy !req
140. So we're all
hiding out here,Copy !req
141. playing
Colonizers of Malaar.Copy !req
142. It's a strategy board gameCopy !req
143. from the makers Goblet quest
and virginity keep.Copy !req
144. In Malaar,
you build a kingdomCopy !req
145. and battle
for world domination.Copy !req
146. Right now, I'm just
the Lord of the Karthian plains,Copy !req
147. but that means
I control all the wheat!Copy !req
148. It's actually interesting.Copy !req
149. You have
a monopoly on wheat.Copy !req
150. But what happens if you
overproduce, flood the markets?Copy !req
151. Prices drop,
your economy collapses.Copy !req
152. You've got
to diversify, Frank.Copy !req
153. It's basic capitalism.Copy !req
154. What other resources
do you have?Copy !req
155. Unicorns?Copy !req
156. Can you breed
and sell them?Copy !req
157. There's got to be
a market for unicorns.Copy !req
158. If I've learned anything from
reading Liddy's princess books,Copy !req
159. unicorn hair
has magical properties.Copy !req
160. You've got to know
your product, Frank.Copy !req
161. That's awesome.Copy !req
162. It's nothing.Copy !req
163. That kind of thinking
is what I do for a living.Copy !req
164. At least, I used to.Copy !req
165. You just have
to replace "Malaar"Copy !req
166. with "Fairfield, Connecticut,"Copy !req
167. and "unicorn" with...Copy !req
168. Unicorn,"
a death Ray.Copy !req
169. Hot dog truck,
I went entrepreneur, too.Copy !req
170. I got this new businessCopy !req
171. where I burn your old DVDs
onto laserdisc.Copy !req
172. Dennis,Copy !req
173. I don't think you should
be drinking with a head injury.Copy !req
174. That's a good Liz impression,
Criss.Copy !req
175. She's a bummer.Copy !req
176. Well, 911
is still busy.Copy !req
177. What could be causing so many
medical emergencies today?Copy !req
178. Right,
an Irish religious festival.Copy !req
179. Irish pride!
Go, Celtics!Copy !req
180. Celtics suck.
Go, Knicks!Copy !req
181. As soon as I get through,
I'm getting you an ambulance,Copy !req
182. and you are
out of here, Dennis.Copy !req
183. No, no, no, no, no.
I can't get into an ambulance.Copy !req
184. I don't have health insurance
because of Obama.Copy !req
185. Look, Liz, I don't think
he needs to go to the hospitalCopy !req
186. for a concussion.
I was a volunteer EMT.Copy !req
187. At burning man, and we agreed
never to talk about that.Copy !req
188. At sunset,
the CACTI start to resembleCopy !req
189. people looking for hugs.Copy !req
190. It gets ugly, Liz.Copy !req
191. You know, there's some things
I miss about being with you,Copy !req
192. like having somewhere
to hook my SEGA up to,Copy !req
193. but this constant judgment...Copy !req
194. Criss deserves better.Copy !req
195. Criss, may I speak to you
alone for a minute?Copy !req
196. No. Anything you need
to say to him,Copy !req
197. you can say
in front of me.Copy !req
198. Me and Criss...Copy !req
199. We're bang brothers...Copy !req
200. God, live TV's such a rush.Copy !req
201. It's like sex,Copy !req
202. but your husband isn't looking
at a picture of a bridge.Copy !req
203. Peter, can you
explain this to me?Copy !req
204. Well, obviously
I'm host number one.Copy !req
205. We all saw the promo.Copy !req
206. Hazel, the script had
Tracy and Jenna's names in it.Copy !req
207. Did you change that?Copy !req
208. Duh!Copy !req
209. After you PMS-ed
about their names yesterday,Copy !req
210. I thought numbers
would make everyone happy.Copy !req
211. We're on in five,
four, three...Copy !req
212. Welcome to the 2012
St. Patrick's day parade on NBC.Copy !req
213. They're both reading
host number one.Copy !req
214. Would a third host help?Copy !req
215. I am S.A.G. eligible,Copy !req
216. but I will only do nude stuff
if there's a mirror behind me.Copy !req
217. Forget the parade, Hazel!Copy !req
218. For six years,
we've been tricking themCopy !req
219. into thinking
they're friends,Copy !req
220. and you've undone
all that in a day.Copy !req
221. I understand you have
some interesting triviaCopy !req
222. about this year's parade.Copy !req
223. No way,
that's amazing!Copy !req
224. No.
I've moved on.Copy !req
225. I couldn't agree more.Copy !req
226. I'm playing
two timberCopy !req
227. and one brick
to build a bridgeCopy !req
228. and establish
a trading post in Midgar.Copy !req
229. That failed...Copy !req
230. And the Orcs
raped everybody.Copy !req
231. Okay, and I am offering Frank
500 gold coinsCopy !req
232. for the neutral land
between the Elf kingdoms.Copy !req
233. - I'll double it.
- The price is now 3000.Copy !req
234. - I'll mortgage Theowyn castle.
- I'll take out a loan.Copy !req
235. Don't you see
what you're doing?Copy !req
236. You're creating
a real estate bubble,Copy !req
237. and the only person
who'll benefit is sue,Copy !req
238. who'll buy up
all the neutral landCopy !req
239. for cents on the dollar.Copy !req
240. Thanks a lot, Klootzak.Copy !req
241. I don't come to where you work
and slap the...Copy !req
242. It's basic macroeconomics,
people.Copy !req
243. None of you is fit
to be king of Malaar.Copy !req
244. And you would presume to wield
the scepter of Thalbain?Copy !req
245. Yes.Copy !req
246. Yes, I would.Copy !req
247. Why are you
being nice to him?Copy !req
248. What, you want me
to be jealous?Copy !req
249. I'm not that guy.
I'm this guy.Copy !req
250. No, you need
to know something.Copy !req
251. Dennis Duffy is
like the TerminatorCopy !req
252. with cheaper sunglasses.Copy !req
253. He just keeps
coming back,Copy !req
254. because his potato brain thinks
he still has a chance with me.Copy !req
255. Liz, you'll be back.Copy !req
256. If I ever see you again,
I'll kill you.Copy !req
257. You'll be back.Copy !req
258. - Never again!
- You'll be back, Liz Lemon.Copy !req
259. You'll be back.Copy !req
260. I'm not kicking Dennis out
of here in his condition.Copy !req
261. Guy with a concussion
on St. Patrick's dayCopy !req
262. is like a horse
with a broken leg.Copy !req
263. Exactly.
We should shoot him.Copy !req
264. Don't you see
what he's doing?Copy !req
265. He's already driving
a wedge between us.Copy !req
266. Criss, get in here.
There's a lez movie on showtime.Copy !req
267. Three again?Copy !req
268. And your yak...
Has smallpox.Copy !req
269. Rockefeller, no!Copy !req
270. What?Copy !req
271. Dennis is here.Copy !req
272. Take back your curse.
This isn't funny anymore.Copy !req
273. Really?
You're cursed?Copy !req
274. Try ruling over
the desert wastelands of KrothCopy !req
275. with no spell cards.Copy !req
276. Are you playing Colonizers
of Lamar with the writers?Copy !req
277. Malaar, and this game
is just dumb luck.Copy !req
278. I dug all these trenches
to irrigate the desert...Copy !req
279. But no one's playing
his rain ca...Copy !req
280. I'm trapped
in a barren wasteland,Copy !req
281. and no matter what I do,
I can't get out.Copy !req
282. Wait.Copy !req
283. My God,
it's happening again.Copy !req
284. The desert of Kroth
is Kabletown.Copy !req
285. I've got
to get some fresh air.Copy !req
286. So fine,
two can play at this game.Copy !req
287. I'm putting
an old German curse on you.Copy !req
288. - Dennis had a great idea.
- No.Copy !req
289. I should take the hot dog
truck out after the parade,Copy !req
290. and sell empty buns
to drunk people.Copy !req
291. My God, Criss,
he's just trying to get me aloneCopy !req
292. so he can start a gas leak
or claim squatter's rightsCopy !req
293. or hit me over the head,Copy !req
294. and when I wake up,
we're on our honeymoon.Copy !req
295. At seaworld.Copy !req
296. Are you sure
this is Dennis's obsession?Copy !req
297. 'Cause you're the one who can't
seem to stop talking about him.Copy !req
298. Are you kidding?
I know Dennis Duffy's brain.Copy !req
299. I saw some of it
when he jumped on the iceCopy !req
300. during an islanders game.Copy !req
301. His next move
will beCopy !req
302. mentioning some fake girlfriend
to try to make me jealous...Copy !req
303. But I'm going to turn it
against him.Copy !req
304. And once again, the puppet
will become the puppet master.Copy !req
305. What does that mean,
"once again"?Copy !req
306. That's not a thing.Copy !req
307. This ends right now.Copy !req
308. Dude, you missed
the end of the lez movie.Copy !req
309. Their daughter,
she goes off to college,Copy !req
310. and Mark Ruffalo,
he's just gonna doCopy !req
311. his own thing
with the restaurant.Copy !req
312. Look, is there anyone
you want us to callCopy !req
313. to let them know
you're okay?Copy !req
314. I left a message
for Megan earlier,Copy !req
315. but it's hard for her
to answer her phone,Copy !req
316. 'cause her boobs
are so big.Copy !req
317. I'm sorry,
and who's Megan?Copy !req
318. She's my lady, Liz.
I'm seeing someone.Copy !req
319. She's a card girl
at kangaroo boxing matches,Copy !req
320. so she's got a body,
and she's loaded.Copy !req
321. Her grandfather
invented the stop sign.Copy !req
322. Wait, are you saying
you're over me?Copy !req
323. Elizabeth,
don't do this.Copy !req
324. Because I am not over you.Copy !req
325. I never will be!Copy !req
326. I love you, Dennis.
I love you so much...Copy !req
327. What the hell, Liz?Copy !req
328. No, Criss,
I'm just proving my point.Copy !req
329. I don't care
what you're doing.Copy !req
330. So it turns out
you can't say "I love you,"Copy !req
331. - just not to me.
- Wait, what?Copy !req
332. It's not like you haven't
had the chance to say it.Copy !req
333. - Love you.
- You're the best.Copy !req
334. - Love you.
- Scooby-doo.Copy !req
335. - I love you.
- I just ordered thai food.Copy !req
336. And I thought you were
just emotionally infantile.Copy !req
337. I am!
Me baby.Copy !req
338. Yeah.
I'm gonna take the truck out.Copy !req
339. No, it's happening.
The wedge!Copy !req
340. Liz, we need to talk.Copy !req
341. Open the bag of wine.Copy !req
342. And we're back
with our live coverageCopy !req
343. of the St. Patrick's day
parade.Copy !req
344. I'm Al Roker, taking over for
Jenna Maroney and Tracy Jordan.Copy !req
345. He should have said
my name first.Copy !req
346. Roker should be
on my side.Copy !req
347. Why, because you both have
had huge weight fluctuations?Copy !req
348. What?Copy !req
349. Okay, that's not how you're
supposed to answer the phone.Copy !req
350. Just thought I'd check in.Copy !req
351. Everything's fine.Copy !req
352. Pete says
I'm doing great.Copy !req
353. I'm not about
to screw this up, Kenneth,Copy !req
354. 'cause I'd get kicked out
of show business,Copy !req
355. and then
how would I be famous?Copy !req
356. By starting a fireCopy !req
357. and then rescuing everyone
from it?Copy !req
358. And then I'm a hero
and then I'm Playboy?Copy !req
359. Hazel, are Mr. Jordan
and Ms. Maroney fighting?Copy !req
360. Well, you're not a page
anymore, Kenneth.Copy !req
361. That information
is classified.Copy !req
362. You look troubled, son.Copy !req
363. Would you like
to talk about it?Copy !req
364. I'm stuck, father.Copy !req
365. Stuck in a company
that won't innovate or change.Copy !req
366. I feel helpless.
Impotent.Copy !req
367. Buy me a drink first.Copy !req
368. Sorry, we've been instructed
to keep it light.Copy !req
369. Now there's a man
who overcame some difficulties.Copy !req
370. I'm sure you know
the story of St. Patrick,Copy !req
371. driving the snakes
out of Ireland.Copy !req
372. I'm going to have to stop you
right there, father,Copy !req
373. 'cause I know for a factCopy !req
374. that there were
never any snakes in Ireland,Copy !req
375. and St. Patrick didn't drive
anything out of anywhere.Copy !req
376. Knock, knock.Copy !req
377. First of all, he was born
in fourth century Ireland.Copy !req
378. He might as well have been
born in a grave.Copy !req
379. His only worldly possession
was no snakes.Copy !req
380. But he turned that...Copy !req
381. Into sainthood,
a holiday,Copy !req
382. this magnificent cathedral.Copy !req
383. He was just some guyCopy !req
384. starving in the wilderness...Copy !req
385. Exactly like me.Copy !req
386. But he found a way
to change his luck,Copy !req
387. to take nothing
and turn it into...Copy !req
388. By the scepter of Thalbain.Copy !req
389. Out!
Now!Copy !req
390. Look, Liz, there's something
I've got to tell you.Copy !req
391. - Not interested.
- Megan isn't my girlfriend.Copy !req
392. I know,
and I am not letting you...Copy !req
393. She's my wife.Copy !req
394. We just got back
from Seaworld yesterday,Copy !req
395. and I know this is
hard for you to hear...Copy !req
396. Yeah, it's so hard for me
to hear about your "wife."Copy !req
397. I'm so jealous.Copy !req
398. Dennis, baby!Copy !req
399. I would have
got here sooner,Copy !req
400. but I passed out
laughing on 69th Street.Copy !req
401. That's hilarious, Megs.
What's up, sugar?Copy !req
402. - Hi, how are you?
- How are you doing?Copy !req
403. Wait a minute,
Megan is real?Copy !req
404. I thought you were
lying to get us back together.Copy !req
405. That's why I said
I loved you.Copy !req
406. I was trying
to call your bluff.Copy !req
407. You know,
that's really messed up, Liz.Copy !req
408. Okay, wait,
you said you love him?Copy !req
409. Okay.Copy !req
410. You got two minutes
to fill a sock with quarters,Copy !req
411. and then we go outside.Copy !req
412. My God, stop it,
no more of this Irish nonsense.Copy !req
413. Dennis, you came in here,
possibly as part of a curse,Copy !req
414. and ruined everything!Copy !req
415. What? I did nothing.Copy !req
416. If anyone's full
of Irish nonsense, it's you.Copy !req
417. - Excuse me?
- Think about it.Copy !req
418. You're the one
that got all emotionalCopy !req
419. and made a fool of herself
at a party.Copy !req
420. This wasn't a party.Copy !req
421. Tell me about it.
It sucked.Copy !req
422. Look, you're stubborn,
you hold grudges,Copy !req
423. you're emotionally repressed.Copy !req
424. She's been living
with this great guy,Copy !req
425. and hasn't said
"I love you" yet.Copy !req
426. Really?
Not even on a Ferris wheel?Copy !req
427. Let's face it, Liz.Copy !req
428. You're the most
Irish person here.Copy !req
429. Happy St. Patrick's day,
dummy.Copy !req
430. Wait, it's St. Patrick's day?Copy !req
431. St. Patrick's day, baby.Copy !req
432. The first car is hereCopy !req
433. for whichever one of you
wants to leave first.Copy !req
434. Why do I keep
doing this stuff?Copy !req
435. Is 70 not a good IQ?Copy !req
436. Well, the bigger star
gets the first car.Copy !req
437. But the sign says
it's for host number two.Copy !req
438. I'm scared, J-mohr.Copy !req
439. And not just 'cause
today's the dayCopy !req
440. that guy that tried
to kill me gets out of jail.Copy !req
441. I'm scared 'cause...Copy !req
442. What if I'm not
the biggest star anymore?Copy !req
443. Tracy,
I know how you feel.Copy !req
444. I've felt that way
for the past five years.Copy !req
445. And now that I've gotten
everything I wanted,Copy !req
446. all I can think about is
how quickly it can all go away.Copy !req
447. Tell me about it.
A year ago, I won an Oscar.Copy !req
448. Now look at me.Copy !req
449. I had to beg to take over
for Andy Rooney.Copy !req
450. And it did not go well.Copy !req
451. When I was a kid,Copy !req
452. you could get
a prostitute for $5.Copy !req
453. You know what?Copy !req
454. I'll read host number two.Copy !req
455. No.
We'll read it together.Copy !req
456. Aww.Copy !req
457. Know this, Hazel.
I will always be here...Copy !req
458. For them and for you.Copy !req
459. Nothing can ever make me...Copy !req
460. Move your car.Copy !req
461. I'd like to spend
my remaining gold...Copy !req
462. To purchase a fire spell.Copy !req
463. And against whom will you
be casting this spell?Copy !req
464. Against myself.Copy !req
465. I am setting fire
to my own desert.Copy !req
466. - You're insane!
- Am I?Copy !req
467. I'm going to turn
my desert into glass,Copy !req
468. and glass is a commodity
that you all need,Copy !req
469. for your elfin
oracle mirrors,Copy !req
470. for your crystal palace,Copy !req
471. for the colorful
glass beadsCopy !req
472. that you keep buying
for some reason.Copy !req
473. I'm going to wear them
to the pirates' ball.Copy !req
474. You need my glass.Copy !req
475. And I'll take your gold...Copy !req
476. And eventually,
the throne of 1,000 kings.Copy !req
477. You see, it doesn't matterCopy !req
478. if I'm on the wind-blown
dunes of KrothCopy !req
479. or in the fluorescent-lit
boardroomsCopy !req
480. of 30 Rockefeller Plaza.Copy !req
481. I will create somethingCopy !req
482. from nothing.Copy !req
483. Today Malaar...Copy !req
484. Tomorrow Kabletown.Copy !req
485. Your highness, you may take
your right as king.Copy !req
486. I am a virgin...
with white guys.Copy !req
487. All right,
mustard only.Copy !req
488. There you go.
Enjoy your bun.Copy !req
489. Sorry, sorry.Copy !req
490. These are
the only green things I own.Copy !req
491. More importantly,
I have never been with someoneCopy !req
492. for longer than nine months.Copy !req
493. You and I have been
together for six,Copy !req
494. so I assume something
will go wrong soon.Copy !req
495. You'll tell me
you believe in ghosts,Copy !req
496. or I'll reveal
that I am terribleCopy !req
497. at expressing my feelings.Copy !req
498. But it's not
because I don't have them.Copy !req
499. It's just because...Copy !req
500. I'm used
to being let down.Copy !req
501. Wait, is now the timeCopy !req
502. on St. Patrick's day when
we talk about our feelings?Copy !req
503. I don't understand
your art, Kevin.Copy !req
504. But this isn't fair
to you, Criss.Copy !req
505. This is the happiest
I've been in a long time,Copy !req
506. and I'm sorry that I can't
just be a normal personCopy !req
507. and tell you stuff.Copy !req
508. Like, nice stuff.
Like...Copy !req
509. Greeting card stuff.Copy !req
510. You're right there,
buddy.Copy !req
511. Come on, homestretch.Copy !req
512. Come on.Copy !req
513. Okay.Copy !req
514. I love you.Copy !req
515. I know.Copy !req
516. You solo-ed me.Copy !req
517. Thanks, host number one.Copy !req
518. Let's take a look at
what's happening liveCopy !req
519. in Rockefeller Plaza.Copy !req
520. I love you.Copy !req
521. I got this!Copy !req
522. That is a person named
Liz LemonCopy !req
523. who just told some dude
she loves him.Copy !req
524. Well, I have known her for a long time
and she never said that before.Copy !req
525. Is sure as rewarding as a TV viewer when someone you're interested in shows growth.Copy !req
526. Also, TV viewers
liked when in a show is a song.Copy !req
527. Don't you dare fade out on me.Copy !req