1. Tracy, Jenna.Copy !req
2. We all know what happenedCopy !req
3. when you hosted
the St. Patrick's day paradeCopy !req
4. three years ago.Copy !req
5. Wake up,
mother-.Copy !req
6. And when you hosted
two years ago.Copy !req
7. Die, demon!Copy !req
8. Why didn't you
ever call me back?Copy !req
9. Unfortunately,
unless Harry's lawCopy !req
10. really took off this week
and no one told me,Copy !req
11. you two are the biggest stars
at the network.Copy !req
12. But this year,
everything you sayCopy !req
13. will be scripted
and on prompter.Copy !req
14. Do not deviate
from the script.Copy !req
15. Jack, Tracy and I
are total pros.Copy !req
16. On television,Copy !req
17. and when it comes to
the assisted suicide debate.Copy !req
18. Secret handshake,
my baloney.Copy !req
19. Hazel,
I won't be here tomorrow,Copy !req
20. so... I wanted
to give you this.Copy !req
21. It's the tail I had
until I was 16.Copy !req
22. Well, don't worry
about the parade.Copy !req
23. I'll take care
of Tracy and JennaCopy !req
24. like they're
my own children.Copy !req
25. Which is a bad example,Copy !req
26. because I left my kids
at a sears in 2004.Copy !req
27. Oh, I told you about
Mr. Jordan's allergies, right?Copy !req
28. Yes, Kenneth.Copy !req
29. He's only allergic
to allergy medication.Copy !req
30. But he loves it.
And Ms. Mulroney's...Copy !req
31. Kenneth, let go.
This is my rodeo now.Copy !req
32. Well, not literally,
of course.Copy !req
33. The U.S. Rodeo Association
does not lift lifetime bans.Copy !req
34. So are you gonna work
through St. Patrick's day?Copy !req
35. Don't you want to celebrate
Ireland's great accomplishments,Copy !req
36. like Michael Lohan
and vomiting into a bagpipe?Copy !req
37. Wow, Lemon,
so I take itCopy !req
38. you will not be
wearing green tomorrow.Copy !req
39. I will be wearing
head-to-toe orange,Copy !req
40. in honor of protestant
William of Orange,Copy !req
41. inventor of the Orange,
according to Yahoo answers.Copy !req
42. with an old tooth
stuck in it.Copy !req
43. Well,
you'll never see me,Copy !req
44. 'cause I don't leave my house
on St. Patrick's day.Copy !req
45. Criss and I are going
to ride out hurricane shamrockCopy !req
46. holed up in my apartment,Copy !req
47. laughing at excerpts
from Angela's ashes.Copy !req
48. You know, some people might
find your attitude offensive.Copy !req
49. Oh, what are they
going to do about it,Copy !req
50. write a meandering playCopy !req
51. about how amazing the Irish are
at not overcoming adversity?Copy !req
52. Well, I'm sorry
we can't all belongCopy !req
53. to ethnic groups
as beloved as the Germans.Copy !req
54. Please,
without Germans,Copy !req
55. you wouldn't have any
of the Indiana Jonesmovies.Copy !req
56. Lemon, your secret love
of the Irish is well-documented.Copy !req
57. After all,
I am your mentor,Copy !req
58. you dated Dennis Duffy,Copy !req
59. and in the '90s,
you gave money to the IRA.Copy !req
60. I thought it was contributing
to a retirement account.Copy !req
61. You know, I think
someone needs to learnCopy !req
62. a St. Patrick's day lesson.Copy !req
63. What is that?
A curse?Copy !req
64. Take it back,
you witch!Copy !req
65. 30 ROCK
S06 Ep 12 - St. Patrick's DayCopy !req
66. This American life,Copy !req
67. Saturday, March 17th,
St. Patrick's day.Copy !req
68. You know, everybody complains
about the weather,Copy !req
69. but today on the program,
we meet somebody who actually...Copy !req
70. Hey, what are you doing?
Get out of my studio!Copy !req
71. Happy St. Patrick's day!Copy !req
72. Let go of me!Copy !req
73. Didn't you hear
my show on bullying?Copy !req
74. Hey, Criss,
watch this.Copy !req
75. Megan!
Megan!Copy !req
76. Look at them spin around.
They're so confused.Copy !req
77. - Awesome.
- It's too many Megans, right?Copy !req
78. I love you.Copy !req
79. Uh huh.Copy !req
80. I just ordered thai food.
How much do you love me now?Copy !req
81. Man, they're fast.Copy !req
82. You know what, I can't wait
till the asians take over.Copy !req
83. Thank God for delivery,
keeping us insideCopy !req
84. and safe from
all the Irish nonsense.Copy !req
85. Hey, dummy.Copy !req
86. The curse.Copy !req
87. What's up?
I'm Dennis,Copy !req
88. - a former lover of Liz's.
- Oh.Copy !req
89. I tried to steal beer
from a Duane reade,Copy !req
90. and some black guy
cold-cocked me.Copy !req
91. Ooh, like a security guard?Copy !req
92. I don't know, pal.Copy !req
93. I don't see people
that way.Copy !req
94. No, no.
No.Copy !req
95. Hey, before we go on,Copy !req
96. - do you want to pray together?
- Yeah.Copy !req
97. - Oh, Michael Jackson's ghost...
- Oh, Great Kabbalah monster...Copy !req
98. NBC is showing the promo
I worked on for the parade!Copy !req
99. I'm famous.Copy !req
100. And now back to
NBC's live coverageCopy !req
101. of the 2012
St. Patrick's day parade,Copy !req
102. with hosts Jenna Maroney
and Tracy Jordan.Copy !req
103. Oh, my God!
They said my name first.Copy !req
104. But I'm more famous
than you.Copy !req
105. Oh, this is probably
some Hollywood prank,Copy !req
106. like on the set
ocean's 12,Copy !req
107. when I put that snake
in George Clooney's bed.Copy !req
108. I was not in the movie.Copy !req
109. Or maybe now that
Kidz is a giant hit,Copy !req
110. I'm the one
America wants to see.Copy !req
111. You better not be
talking aboutCopy !req
112. my dear friend,
America Ferrera.Copy !req
113. Get your stuff
out of here,Copy !req
114. 'cause I get
the bigger dressing room now.Copy !req
115. I'll replace your lizardCopy !req
116. with a gay guy
in a giant champagne bottle.Copy !req
117. Siri, kill Jenna!Copy !req
118. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's going on?Copy !req
119. I get second billing
to this small-boobied grandma?Copy !req
120. No, you guys are friends,
remember? "My baloney"?Copy !req
121. The only baloney Tracy has
is the baloney he's full of.Copy !req
122. Why would you say that?Copy !req
123. You can't take that back.Copy !req
124. - I killed Jenna elfman.
- Is that right?Copy !req
125. Did you show them
the promo?Copy !req
126. Hazel, we don't let them
watch NBC.Copy !req
127. Jenna thinks
that Christina AguileraCopy !req
128. lost her voice
during childbirth,Copy !req
129. and Tracy doesn't
need to knowCopy !req
130. that he just became
number two around here.Copy !req
131. That kind of mistake
can ruin everything.Copy !req
132. I don't like
the way you're talking to me.Copy !req
133. Why don't we drive to Sears?
I'll buy you a toy.Copy !req
134. Excuse me.
May I help you?Copy !req
135. What? We don't use your
bathroom when you're not here.Copy !req
136. I'm Lutz.Copy !req
137. Frank, first of all,Copy !req
138. what are you doing here
on a Saturday?Copy !req
139. None of the writers can
go out on St. Patrick's dayCopy !req
140. because we all have faces people
naturally just want to punch.Copy !req
141. So we're all
hiding out here,Copy !req
142. playing
Colonizers of Malaar.Copy !req
143. It's a strategy board gameCopy !req
144. from the makers Goblet quest
and virginity keep.Copy !req
145. In Malaar,
you build a kingdomCopy !req
146. and battle
for world domination.Copy !req
147. Right now, I'm just
the Lord of the Karthian plains,Copy !req
148. but that means
I control all the wheat!Copy !req
149. Huh.
It's actually interesting.Copy !req
150. You have
a monopoly on wheat.Copy !req
151. But what happens if you
overproduce, flood the markets?Copy !req
152. Prices drop,
your economy collapses.Copy !req
153. You've got
to diversify, Frank.Copy !req
154. It's basic capitalism.Copy !req
155. What other resources
do you have?Copy !req
156. Uh, unicorns?Copy !req
157. Can you breed
and sell them?Copy !req
158. There's got to be
a market for unicorns.Copy !req
159. If I've learned anything from
reading Liddy's princess books,Copy !req
160. unicorn hair
has magical properties.Copy !req
161. You've got to know
your product, Frank.Copy !req
162. That's awesome.Copy !req
163. Ah, it's nothing.Copy !req
164. That kind of thinking
is what I do for a living.Copy !req
165. At least, I used to.Copy !req
166. You just have
to replace "Malaar"Copy !req
167. with "Fairfield, Connecticut,"Copy !req
168. and "unicorn" with...Copy !req
169. Unicorn,"
a death Ray.Copy !req
170. Hot dog truck, huh?
I went entrepreneur, too.Copy !req
171. I got this new businessCopy !req
172. where I burn your old DVDs
onto laserdisc.Copy !req
173. Whoa, Dennis,Copy !req
174. I don't think you should
be drinking with a head injury.Copy !req
175. That's a good Liz impression,
Criss.Copy !req
176. She's a bummer.Copy !req
177. Well, 911
is still busy.Copy !req
178. What could be causing so many
medical emergencies today?Copy !req
179. Oh, right,
an Irish religious festival.Copy !req
180. Irish pride!
Go, Celtics!Copy !req
181. Celtics suck.
Go, Knicks!Copy !req
182. As soon as I get through,
I'm getting you an ambulance,Copy !req
183. and you are
out of here, Dennis.Copy !req
184. No, no, no, no, no.
I can't get into an ambulance.Copy !req
185. I don't have health insurance
because of Obama.Copy !req
186. Look, Liz, I don't think
he needs to go to the hospitalCopy !req
187. for a concussion.
I was a volunteer EMT.Copy !req
188. At burning man, and we agreed
never to talk about that.Copy !req
189. At sunset,
the CACTI start to resembleCopy !req
190. people looking for hugs.Copy !req
191. It gets ugly, Liz.Copy !req
192. You know, there's some things
I miss about being with you,Copy !req
193. like having somewhere
to hook my SEGA up to,Copy !req
194. but this constant judgment...Copy !req
195. Criss deserves better.Copy !req
196. Criss, may I speak to you
alone for a minute?Copy !req
197. No. Anything you need
to say to him,Copy !req
198. you can say
in front of me.Copy !req
199. Me and Criss...Copy !req
200. - We're bang brothers.
- Ugh.Copy !req
201. God, live TV's such a rush.Copy !req
202. It's like sex,Copy !req
203. but your husband isn't looking
at a picture of a bridge.Copy !req
204. Peter, can you
explain this to me?Copy !req
205. Well, obviously
I'm host number one.Copy !req
206. We all saw the promo.Copy !req
207. Hazel, the script had
Tracy and Jenna's names in it.Copy !req
208. Did you change that?Copy !req
209. Duh!Copy !req
210. After you PMS-ed
about their names yesterday,Copy !req
211. I thought numbers
would make everyone happy.Copy !req
212. We're on in five,
four, three...Copy !req
213. Welcome to the 2012
St. Patrick's day parade on NBC.Copy !req
214. They're both reading
host number one.Copy !req
215. Would a third host help?Copy !req
216. I am S.A.G. eligible,Copy !req
217. but I will only do nude stuff
if there's a mirror behind me.Copy !req
218. Forget the parade, Hazel!Copy !req
219. For six years,
we've been tricking themCopy !req
220. into thinking
they're friends,Copy !req
221. and you've undone
all that in a day.Copy !req
222. I understand you have
some interesting triviaCopy !req
223. about this year's parade.Copy !req
224. No way,
that's amazing!Copy !req
225. No.
I've moved on.Copy !req
226. I couldn't agree more.Copy !req
227. I'm playing
two timberCopy !req
228. and one brick
to build a bridgeCopy !req
229. and establish
a trading post in Midgar.Copy !req
230. That failed...Copy !req
231. And the Orcs
raped everybody.Copy !req
232. Okay, and I am offering Frank
500 gold coinsCopy !req
233. for the neutral land
between the Elf kingdoms.Copy !req
234. - I'll double it.
- The price is now 3000.Copy !req
235. - I'll mortgage Theowyn castle.
- I'll take out a loan.Copy !req
236. Don't you see
what you're doing?Copy !req
237. You're creating
a real estate bubble,Copy !req
238. and the only person
who'll benefit is sue,Copy !req
239. who'll buy up
all the neutral landCopy !req
240. for cents on the dollar.Copy !req
241. Thanks a lot, Klootzak.Copy !req
242. I don't come to where you work
and slap the...Copy !req
243. It's basic macroeconomics,
people.Copy !req
244. None of you is fit
to be king of Malaar.Copy !req
245. And you would presume to wield
the scepter of Thalbain?Copy !req
246. Yes.Copy !req
247. Yes, I would.Copy !req
248. Why are you
being nice to him?Copy !req
249. What, you want me
to be jealous?Copy !req
250. I'm not that guy.
I'm this guy.Copy !req
251. No, you need
to know something.Copy !req
252. Dennis Duffy is
like the TerminatorCopy !req
253. with cheaper sunglasses.Copy !req
254. He just keeps
coming back,Copy !req
255. because his potato brain thinks
he still has a chance with me.Copy !req
256. Hey, Liz, you'll be back.Copy !req
257. If I ever see you again,
I'll kill you.Copy !req
258. You'll be back.Copy !req
259. - Never again!
- You'll be back, Liz Lemon.Copy !req
260. You'll be back.Copy !req
261. I'm not kicking Dennis out
of here in his condition.Copy !req
262. Guy with a concussion
on St. Patrick's dayCopy !req
263. is like a horse
with a broken leg.Copy !req
264. Exactly.
We should shoot him.Copy !req
265. Don't you see
what he's doing?Copy !req
266. He's already driving
a wedge between us.Copy !req
267. Criss, get in here.
There's a lez movie on showtime.Copy !req
268. Um...Copy !req
269. Ugh, three again?Copy !req
270. And your yak...
Has smallpox.Copy !req
271. Rockefeller, no!Copy !req
272. What?Copy !req
273. Dennis is here.Copy !req
274. Take back your curse.
This isn't funny anymore.Copy !req
275. Oh, really?
You're cursed?Copy !req
276. Try ruling over
the desert wastelands of KrothCopy !req
277. with no spell cards.Copy !req
278. Are you playing Colonizers
of Lamar with the writers?Copy !req
279. Malaar, and this game
is just dumb luck.Copy !req
280. I dug all these trenches
to irrigate the desert...Copy !req
281. But no one's playing
his rain ca...Copy !req
282. I'm trapped
in a barren wasteland,Copy !req
283. and no matter what I do,
I can't get out.Copy !req
284. Wait.Copy !req
285. Oh, my God,
it's happening again.Copy !req
286. The desert of Kroth
is Kabletown.Copy !req
287. I've got
to get some fresh air.Copy !req
288. So fine,
two can play at this game.Copy !req
289. I'm putting
an old German curse on you.Copy !req
290. - Hey, Dennis had a great idea.
- No.Copy !req
291. I should take the hot dog
truck out after the parade,Copy !req
292. and sell empty buns
to drunk people.Copy !req
293. Oh, my God, Criss,
he's just trying to get me aloneCopy !req
294. so he can start a gas leak
or claim squatter's rightsCopy !req
295. or hit me over the head,Copy !req
296. and when I wake up,
we're on our honeymoon.Copy !req
297. At seaworld.Copy !req
298. Are you sure
this is Dennis's obsession?Copy !req
299. 'Cause you're the one who can't
seem to stop talking about him.Copy !req
300. Are you kidding?
I know Dennis Duffy's brain.Copy !req
301. I saw some of it
when he jumped on the iceCopy !req
302. during an islanders game.Copy !req
303. His next move
will beCopy !req
304. mentioning some fake girlfriend
to try to make me jealous...Copy !req
305. But I'm going to turn it
against him.Copy !req
306. And once again, the puppet
will become the puppet master.Copy !req
307. What does that mean,
"once again"?Copy !req
308. That's not a thing.Copy !req
309. This ends right now.Copy !req
310. Dude, you missed
the end of the lez movie.Copy !req
311. Their daughter,
she goes off to college,Copy !req
312. and Mark Ruffalo,
he's just gonna doCopy !req
313. his own thing
with the restaurant.Copy !req
314. Look, is there anyone
you want us to callCopy !req
315. to let them know
you're okay?Copy !req
316. I left a message
for Megan earlier,Copy !req
317. but it's hard for her
to answer her phone,Copy !req
318. 'cause her boobs
are so big.Copy !req
319. I'm sorry,
and who's Megan?Copy !req
320. She's my lady, Liz.
I'm seeing someone.Copy !req
321. She's a card girl
at kangaroo boxing matches,Copy !req
322. so she's got a body,
and she's loaded.Copy !req
323. Her grandfather
invented the stop sign.Copy !req
324. Wait, are you saying
you're over me?Copy !req
325. Elizabeth,
don't do this.Copy !req
326. Because I am not over you.Copy !req
327. I never will be!Copy !req
328. I love you, Dennis.
I love you so much...Copy !req
329. Whoa, what the hell, Liz?Copy !req
330. No, Criss,
I'm just proving my point.Copy !req
331. I don't care
what you're doing.Copy !req
332. So it turns out
you can't say "I love you,"Copy !req
333. - just not to me.
- Wait, what?Copy !req
334. It's not like you haven't
had the chance to say it.Copy !req
335. - Love you.
- You're the best.Copy !req
336. - Love you.
- Scooby-doo.Copy !req
337. - I love you.
- I just ordered thai food.Copy !req
338. And I thought you were
just emotionally infantile.Copy !req
339. I am!
Me baby.Copy !req
340. Yeah.
I'm gonna take the truck out.Copy !req
341. Oh, no, it's happening.
The wedge!Copy !req
342. Liz, we need to talk.Copy !req
343. Open the bag of wine.Copy !req
344. And we're back
with our live coverageCopy !req
345. of the St. Patrick's day
parade.Copy !req
346. I'm Al Roker, taking over for
Jenna Maroney and Tracy Jordan.Copy !req
347. He should have said
my name first.Copy !req
348. Roker should be
on my side.Copy !req
349. Why, because you both have
had huge weight fluctuations?Copy !req
350. What?Copy !req
351. Okay, that's not how you're
supposed to answer the phone.Copy !req
352. Just thought I'd check in.Copy !req
353. Everything's fine.Copy !req
354. Pete says
I'm doing great.Copy !req
355. I'm not about
to screw this up, Kenneth,Copy !req
356. 'cause I'd get kicked out
of show business,Copy !req
357. and then
how would I be famous?Copy !req
358. By starting a fireCopy !req
359. and then rescuing everyone
from it?Copy !req
360. And then I'm a hero
and then I'm Playboy?Copy !req
361. Hazel, are Mr. Jordan
and Ms. Maroney fighting?Copy !req
362. Well, you're not a page
anymore, Kenneth.Copy !req
363. That information
is classified.Copy !req
364. You look troubled, son.Copy !req
365. Would you like
to talk about it?Copy !req
366. I'm stuck, father.Copy !req
367. Stuck in a company
that won't innovate or change.Copy !req
368. I feel helpless.
Impotent.Copy !req
369. Whoa, buy me a drink first.Copy !req
370. Sorry, we've been instructed
to keep it light.Copy !req
371. Ah.Copy !req
372. Now there's a man
who overcame some difficulties.Copy !req
373. I'm sure you know
the story of St. Patrick,Copy !req
374. driving the snakes
out of Ireland.Copy !req
375. I'm going to have to stop you
right there, father,Copy !req
376. 'cause I know for a factCopy !req
377. that there were
never any snakes in Ireland,Copy !req
378. and St. Patrick didn't drive
anything out of anywhere.Copy !req
379. Knock, knock.Copy !req
380. First of all, he was born
in fourth century Ireland.Copy !req
381. He might as well have been
born in a grave.Copy !req
382. His only worldly possession
was no snakes.Copy !req
383. But he turned that...Copy !req
384. Huh... into sainthood,
a holiday,Copy !req
385. this magnificent cathedral.Copy !req
386. He was just some guyCopy !req
387. starving in the wilderness...Copy !req
388. Exactly like me.Copy !req
389. But he found a way
to change his luck,Copy !req
390. to take nothing
and turn it into...Copy !req
391. By the scepter of Thalbain.Copy !req
392. Out!
Now!Copy !req
393. Look, Liz, there's something
I've got to tell you.Copy !req
394. - Not interested.
- Megan isn't my girlfriend.Copy !req
395. I know,
and I am not letting you...Copy !req
396. She's my wife.Copy !req
397. We just got back
from Seaworld yesterday,Copy !req
398. and I know this is
hard for you to hear...Copy !req
399. Oh, yeah, it's so hard for me
to hear about your "wife."Copy !req
400. I'm so jealous.Copy !req
401. Dennis, baby!Copy !req
402. I would have
got here sooner,Copy !req
403. but I passed out
laughing on 69th Street.Copy !req
404. That's hilarious, Megs.
What's up, sugar?Copy !req
405. - Hi, how are you?
- How are you doing?Copy !req
406. Wait a minute,
Megan is real?Copy !req
407. I thought you were
lying to get us back together.Copy !req
408. That's why I said
I loved you.Copy !req
409. I was trying
to call your bluff.Copy !req
410. Wow, you know,
that's really messed up, Liz.Copy !req
411. Okay, wait,
you said you love him?Copy !req
412. Okay.Copy !req
413. You got two minutes
to fill a sock with quarters,Copy !req
414. and then we go outside.Copy !req
415. Oh, my God, stop it,
no more of this Irish nonsense.Copy !req
416. Dennis, you came in here,
possibly as part of a curse,Copy !req
417. and ruined everything!Copy !req
418. What? I did nothing.Copy !req
419. Hey, if anyone's full
of Irish nonsense, it's you.Copy !req
420. - Excuse me?
- Think about it.Copy !req
421. You're the one
that got all emotionalCopy !req
422. and made a fool of herself
at a party.Copy !req
423. This wasn't a party.Copy !req
424. Tell me about it.
It sucked.Copy !req
425. Look, you're stubborn,
you hold grudges,Copy !req
426. you're emotionally repressed.Copy !req
427. She's been living
with this great guy,Copy !req
428. and hasn't said
"I love you" yet.Copy !req
429. Really?
Not even on a Ferris wheel?Copy !req
430. - Ugh.
- Let's face it, Liz.Copy !req
431. You're the most
Irish person here.Copy !req
432. Happy St. Patrick's day,
dummy.Copy !req
433. Wait, it's St. Patrick's day?Copy !req
434. St. Patrick's day, baby.Copy !req
435. The first car is hereCopy !req
436. for whichever one of you
wants to leave first.Copy !req
437. Why do I keep
doing this stuff?Copy !req
438. Is 70 not a good IQ?Copy !req
439. Well, the bigger star
gets the first car.Copy !req
440. But the sign says
it's for host number two.Copy !req
441. I'm scared, J-mohr.Copy !req
442. And not just 'cause
today's the dayCopy !req
443. that guy that tried
to kill me gets out of jail.Copy !req
444. I'm scared 'cause...Copy !req
445. What if I'm not
the biggest star anymore?Copy !req
446. Tracy,
I know how you feel.Copy !req
447. I've felt that way
for the past five years.Copy !req
448. And now that I've gotten
everything I wanted,Copy !req
449. all I can think about is
how quickly it can all go away.Copy !req
450. Tell me about it.
A year ago, I won an Oscar.Copy !req
451. Now look at me.Copy !req
452. I had to beg to take over
for Andy Rooney.Copy !req
453. And it did not go well.Copy !req
454. When I was a kid,Copy !req
455. you could get
a prostitute for $5.Copy !req
456. You know what?Copy !req
457. I'll read host number two.Copy !req
458. No.
We'll read it together.Copy !req
459. Aww.Copy !req
460. Know this, Hazel.
I will always be here...Copy !req
461. For them and for you.Copy !req
462. Nothing can ever make me...Copy !req
463. Move your car.Copy !req
464. I'd like to spend
my remaining gold...Copy !req
465. To purchase a fire spell.Copy !req
466. And against whom will you
be casting this spell?Copy !req
467. Against myself.Copy !req
468. I am setting fire
to my own desert.Copy !req
469. - You're insane!
- Am I?Copy !req
470. I'm going to turn
my desert into glass,Copy !req
471. and glass is a commodity
that you all need,Copy !req
472. for your elfin
oracle mirrors,Copy !req
473. for your crystal palace,Copy !req
474. for the colorful
glass beadsCopy !req
475. that you keep buying
for some reason.Copy !req
476. I'm going to wear them
to the pirates' ball.Copy !req
477. You need my glass.Copy !req
478. And I'll take your gold...Copy !req
479. And eventually,
the throne of 1,000 kings.Copy !req
480. You see, it doesn't matterCopy !req
481. if I'm on the wind-blown
dunes of KrothCopy !req
482. or in the fluorescent-lit
boardroomsCopy !req
483. of 30 Rockefeller Plaza.Copy !req
484. I will create somethingCopy !req
485. from nothing.Copy !req
486. Today Malaar...Copy !req
487. Tomorrow Kabletown.Copy !req
488. Your highness, you may take
your right as king.Copy !req
489. I am a virgin...
with white guys.Copy !req
490. All right,
mustard only.Copy !req
491. There you go.
Enjoy your bun.Copy !req
492. Sorry, sorry.Copy !req
493. These are
the only green things I own.Copy !req
494. More importantly,
I have never been with someoneCopy !req
495. for longer than nine months.Copy !req
496. You and I have been
together for six,Copy !req
497. so I assume something
will go wrong soon.Copy !req
498. You'll tell me
you believe in ghosts,Copy !req
499. or I'll reveal
that I am terribleCopy !req
500. at expressing my feelings.Copy !req
501. But it's not
because I don't have them.Copy !req
502. It's just because...Copy !req
503. I'm used
to being let down.Copy !req
504. Wait, is now the timeCopy !req
505. on St. Patrick's day when
we talk about our feelings?Copy !req
506. I don't understand
your art, Kevin.Copy !req
507. But this isn't fair
to you, Chris.Copy !req
508. This is the happiest
I've been in a long time,Copy !req
509. and I'm sorry that I can't
just be a normal personCopy !req
510. and tell you stuff.Copy !req
511. Like, nice stuff.
Like...Copy !req
512. Greeting card stuff.Copy !req
513. Oh, you're right there,
buddy.Copy !req
514. Come on, homestretch.Copy !req
515. Come on.Copy !req
516. Okay.Copy !req
517. I love you.Copy !req
518. I know.Copy !req
519. You solo-ed me.Copy !req
520. Thanks, host number one.Copy !req
521. Let's take a look at
what's happening liveCopy !req
522. in Rockefeller Plaza.Copy !req
523. I love you.Copy !req
524. Oh, I got this!Copy !req
525. That is a person named
Liz LemonCopy !req
526. who just told some dude
she loves him.Copy !req
527. Well, I have known her for a long time
and she never said that before.Copy !req
528. Is sure as rewarding as a TV viewer when someone you're interested inCopy !req
529. shows growth.Copy !req
530. Also, TV viewers
liked when in a show is a song.Copy !req
531. Don't you dare fade out on me.Copy !req