1. There she is!
Whore of whores!Copy !req
2. My Frankie could have
any woman on earth,Copy !req
3. - and he chose you?
- Ma!Copy !req
4. What are you doing here?Copy !req
5. Why can't you just be happy
that I'm happy...Copy !req
6. - With Liz?
- Can I just say one sentence?Copy !req
7. Dio mio,I'm an old fool.
What is wrong with me?Copy !req
8. My boy's in love!Copy !req
9. Oh!Copy !req
10. Come over for dinner.
Tonight.Copy !req
11. Do you like ox, Liz?
I'll defrost an ox for you.Copy !req
12. Mwah!
Mush! Eh!Copy !req
13. Oh... oh!Copy !req
14. Look, if the situation
was reversed,Copy !req
15. you know I'd pretend
to be your boyfriend.Copy !req
16. I have a boyfriend.
In Canada.Copy !req
17. Seriously.
Chris is in Canada for the week.Copy !req
18. And I can't
be your girlfriend,Copy !req
19. 'cause I'm not
an old pedophile.Copy !req
20. We prefer the term
adultophobe.Copy !req
21. Lynn, what is
going on here?Copy !req
22. Well, I'm hiding
from Sylvia.Copy !req
23. I got really good
at hiding in prisonCopy !req
24. and making wine
in my toilet.Copy !req
25. Does your mom not know
you guys are together?Copy !req
26. It's been a year.
Sylvia doesn't approve of me.Copy !req
27. No one can remember why
anymore.Copy !req
28. You were his teacher,
and you seduced him.Copy !req
29. Look, here's what happened.
My mom was snooping in my room,Copy !req
30. 'cause she loves me,
and she found a letter.Copy !req
31. Look what I found
in your pornography collection...Copy !req
32. A love letter.
Who sent this to you?Copy !req
33. Who is "L"?Copy !req
34. So you told her "L" was me?Copy !req
35. Liz, we just need you
to go along with thisCopy !req
36. until... I don't know,
my mom dies.Copy !req
37. Or I die.Copy !req
38. No. I'm not helping
to protect this.Copy !req
39. - It's creepy.
- This is creepy?Copy !req
40. In prison, I was part of a fake
family with a bald woman,Copy !req
41. and our son was a basketball
with a wig on it,Copy !req
42. 'cause living a lie
will eat you up inside.Copy !req
43. Like that parasite I got
from eating Sushi on AmTrak.Copy !req
44. 30 ROCK
S01 Ep. 10 Alexis Goodlooking
and the Case of the Missing WhiskyCopy !req
45. - That's quite a suit, Kenneth.
- Thank you, sir.Copy !req
46. All my suits
are my late father's...Copy !req
47. Mr...Copy !req
48. That's weird.Copy !req
49. Kenneth, since you've left
the page program,Copy !req
50. finding you a new position here
has beenCopy !req
51. one of the most difficult
challenges of my career.Copy !req
52. And I'm including
making it through the '80sCopy !req
53. without having sex
with Belinda Carlisle.Copy !req
54. I know, sir,Copy !req
55. but I just couldn't work
in ad sales.Copy !req
56. We have far too many sponsorsCopy !req
57. that make housework
easier for women.Copy !req
58. That's why I'm putting you
in the standards department.Copy !req
59. You'll be responsible
for keeping the airwaves freeCopy !req
60. of content that might
offend any group.Copy !req
61. It's a good starting place,
but Kenneth,Copy !req
62. if you wanna make it
in the business world,Copy !req
63. you can't be so...
Morally stubborn.Copy !req
64. There are gray areas.Copy !req
65. Oh, no, sir.Copy !req
66. There's always a right
and wrong.Copy !req
67. Before he died, my father
gave me a piece of advice.Copy !req
68. "Son, if you wanna
get ahead in this world...Copy !req
69. Oh, God, this hurts...
Tell your mother I'm gay."Copy !req
70. Nerf rifle.
Mass Effect 3.Copy !req
71. What else do we need
for, uh, research?Copy !req
72. Well, I need the deutsche
grammophon box setCopy !req
73. - for my opera sketch.
- An opera?Copy !req
74. Is there singing?
Because I sing.Copy !req
75. Tracy doesn't sing,
so I should do it.Copy !req
76. The audience expects it.
I'll sleep with you.Copy !req
77. No, Jenna, none of this
stuff is really for sketches.Copy !req
78. We're just saying that so we can
charge it all to the show.Copy !req
79. It's the perfect crime...
As long as Pete never finds out.Copy !req
80. Who drank this?Copy !req
81. This is the scotch I was saving
for my birthday.Copy !req
82. Someone with a key
to my office,Copy !req
83. a janitor or a security guard
or some black...Copy !req
84. Hearted individual,
probably white,Copy !req
85. has ruined
the Hornberger hangCopy !req
86. for all of us!Copy !req
87. Let's get forensics in here.Copy !req
88. Have the techs
lift a latent print,Copy !req
89. and run it against AFIS.Copy !req
90. Maybe the perp's
in the system.Copy !req
91. Wow, J-Mo,
you sound like a cop,Copy !req
92. and I should know.Copy !req
93. My Uncle was a cop...
In a porno.Copy !req
94. Tracy, every blond actress
in the businessCopy !req
95. has done a pilot about
a tough but pretty lady copCopy !req
96. with special abilities.Copy !req
97. Mine was called
Goodlooking.Copy !req
98. I played Alexis GoodlookingCopy !req
99. who was also good-looking,Copy !req
100. and my special ability was being
good at looking for clues.Copy !req
101. Let's get forensics in here.Copy !req
102. Have the techs
lift a latent print,Copy !req
103. and run it against AFIS.Copy !req
104. Maybe the perp's
in the system.Copy !req
105. Unlike my husband's killer,
who got away,Copy !req
106. and it haunts me.Copy !req
107. You know what?Copy !req
108. We should use your skillsCopy !req
109. to solve the case
of Pete's missing booze.Copy !req
110. That was a long time ago,
Tracy.Copy !req
111. My detective days
are over.Copy !req
112. You sure about that?Copy !req
113. Because like all black actors,Copy !req
114. I have a lot of experience
with playing a wise black fellowCopy !req
115. who gets reluctant white people
to do things.Copy !req
116. Well...Copy !req
117. I'm just an old fool,
of course,Copy !req
118. and I don't know much about
politics or the like.Copy !req
119. But I do know
America's kinda like this hereCopy !req
120. crab apple tree...Copy !req
121. John Fitzgerald Kennedy.Copy !req
122. All right, I'll do it.Copy !req
123. Let's ride, partner.Copy !req
124. Whoop!Copy !req
125. I have some real problemsCopy !req
126. with this
Law & Order SVU script.Copy !req
127. We can't say
"dick wolf" on TV.Copy !req
128. Listen up,
standards and practices.Copy !req
129. I just had an emergency
meeting with legal,Copy !req
130. and we can no longer use
the wordsCopy !req
131. "hit, great show, fun,"
or "broadcast television."Copy !req
132. Now, Kenneth...Copy !req
133. Mr. Donaghy, Bradley Tarkin,
junior compliance associate.Copy !req
134. We met last year at your
completely silent presentationCopy !req
135. on the power of eye contact.Copy !req
136. Ah, yes.
I believe it was entitled...Copy !req
137. I was just an intern then,Copy !req
138. but afterwards,
I got you to signCopy !req
139. my first edition
Jack attack.Copy !req
140. You know, the first edition
has a typo.Copy !req
141. When I took over microwaves,
I said to the team,Copy !req
142. "by the end of this quarter,Copy !req
143. "we're all gonna be
in the black... comma... guys."Copy !req
144. Not, "we're all gonna be
in the black guys."Copy !req
145. Anyway, nice to meet you
again, Bradley.Copy !req
146. Uh, Kenneth, a word.Copy !req
147. Balloon!Copy !req
148. Kenneth,
you are now officiallyCopy !req
149. in the business world.Copy !req
150. Bradley is trying
to destroy you.Copy !req
151. Destroy me?Copy !req
152. He's the best friend
I've ever had,Copy !req
153. tied with everyone
I've ever met.Copy !req
154. Kenneth, if you learn
one thing from me, it's this:Copy !req
155. In business,
you have no friends.Copy !req
156. Let me tell you
a little story.Copy !req
157. There was once a man named...
Henry Warren.Copy !req
158. Henry pretended
to be my friend,Copy !req
159. but he turned out to be
my very first Nemesis.Copy !req
160. We got the contract!Copy !req
161. We're gonna make
the bottles for new coke.Copy !req
162. And I'm gonna make sure
you get all the credit.Copy !req
163. Aces!Copy !req
164. Let's do some cocaine.Copy !req
165. My friendship with Henry
was a lie.Copy !req
166. We were just waiting for the
chance to destroy the other one.Copy !req
167. But Bradley gave me
my nickname.Copy !req
168. "Susan."Copy !req
169. Like "lazy Susan,"Copy !req
170. 'cause I'm lazy
and effeminate.Copy !req
171. Bradley is dangerous.
Last year he was an intern.Copy !req
172. Now he's a junior
compliance associate.Copy !req
173. How did he get promoted
so quickly?Copy !req
174. I signed his book.
He had my signature.Copy !req
175. He probably put it on a forged
letter of recommendation.Copy !req
176. Ooh, sir.
That's awfully paranoid.Copy !req
177. Exactly.
"Paranoid,"Copy !req
178. from the Greek "para"
meaning "beside,"Copy !req
179. and "noid,"
which is some sort of a...Copy !req
180. Pizza demon!
No, that can't be right.Copy !req
181. The point is, you've got
to be paranoid, Kenneth.Copy !req
182. You've gotta go in there
and crush BradleyCopy !req
183. like I crushed Henry Warren.Copy !req
184. But I've never
crushed anyoneCopy !req
185. except accused witches.Copy !req
186. Get in there!Copy !req
187. - Be cool, be cool, be cool.
- How did you get in here?Copy !req
188. Oh, Frank said
you couldn't come to dinnerCopy !req
189. because you weren't
feeling well.Copy !req
190. But I know the best
thing for a feverCopy !req
191. is food, wine,
and cheek pinching!Copy !req
192. So I packed everything up,Copy !req
193. prayed to the patron
Saint of locked apartments,Copy !req
194. - and here we are.
- No. Absolutely n...Copy !req
195. You don't have a say in this!
Now, lie down.Copy !req
196. While I'm here,
you do nothing.Copy !req
197. As we say in Italy...Copy !req
198. Eat an arancine.Copy !req
199. I love our little family.Copy !req
200. Pete?Copy !req
201. Yeah, I saw him
earlier today.Copy !req
202. Why?
Something wrong?Copy !req
203. Someone drank his scotch.Copy !req
204. You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?Copy !req
205. Why would I?Copy !req
206. I was gonna drink it with him
on his birthday.Copy !req
207. Okay, but if you think
of anything,Copy !req
208. use this phone
as a reminder to call us.Copy !req
209. I may not pick up,Copy !req
210. 'cause I lost my phone
just now.Copy !req
211. If you think of anything,Copy !req
212. call us.Copy !req
213. Hang on.
This chair's been moved.Copy !req
214. Read him his rights.Copy !req
215. I should tell my husband
I'm gonna be late tonight.Copy !req
216. No, wait, I can't.
He's dead.Copy !req
217. Hang on.Copy !req
218. The trash was moved.Copy !req
219. Hiding something,
Mr. Lutz?Copy !req
220. Okay. I drank it.
We all drank it.Copy !req
221. We wanted booze, but we didn't
wanna hang out with Pete.Copy !req
222. It's the worst!Copy !req
223. He always brings out
his guitar and sings.Copy !req
224. He's got one story,
and it's about himCopy !req
225. seeing Phil Donahue
at a mall.Copy !req
226. Now comes the worst part.Copy !req
227. The paperwork.Copy !req
228. What's wrong, Susan?Copy !req
229. Mr. Pfister
just took me to the woodshed,Copy !req
230. which I didn't even realize
could be a metaphor.Copy !req
231. I guess I signed off
on a scriptCopy !req
232. where an Asian character
refers to "Rindsay Rohan"Copy !req
233. posing for "Prayboy."Copy !req
234. But I know
that's very offensive.Copy !req
235. Especially because asians
are under-representedCopy !req
236. - on this network.
- Exactly.Copy !req
237. If there are more
actors of Asian descent...Copy !req
238. Shut up!
Just shut up, Roy!Copy !req
239. - I am talking to Kenneth.
- I'm dealing with something!Copy !req
240. No one wants
to hear from you.Copy !req
241. I don't even remember
reading that script.Copy !req
242. It's... your signature
on the memo.Copy !req
243. That does look like my "X."Copy !req
244. Susan, as a friend,Copy !req
245. quit before they fire you.Copy !req
246. Your meatballs are good!Copy !req
247. Like Ikea good!Copy !req
248. Is there parmesan in this?Copy !req
249. And Lemon.
And a little fennel?Copy !req
250. Are you sure you're not
Italian, Liz?Copy !req
251. Maybe from the North?Copy !req
252. That's where the vampires
used to live.Copy !req
253. What's the matter, Frank?
You're so quiet!Copy !req
254. You're sitting at dinner
next to a beautiful older woman.Copy !req
255. Eat something and kiss her!Copy !req
256. No! I can't do this.Copy !req
257. Ma, Liz isn't the "L"
in that letter.Copy !req
258. It's...
Lynn Onkman.Copy !req
259. Elizabeth,
I'm gonna ask you to leave.Copy !req
260. But this is my...Copy !req
261. I don't think Bradley's
my friend.Copy !req
262. I hate to say, "told ya,"
because it reminds meCopy !req
263. of my one-night stand
with Nikki Finke.Copy !req
264. He's trying to get me fired.
What do I do?Copy !req
265. Pray for a body switch
mix-upCopy !req
266. so we can see the world
from each other's perspectives?Copy !req
267. No. You destroy him.Copy !req
268. With this.Copy !req
269. I did some research.Copy !req
270. And unlike what he wrote
on his application,Copy !req
271. Bradley never graduated
from Syracuse.Copy !req
272. He's four credits shy
of a degree in bro studies.Copy !req
273. You slip this transcript
under your manager's door,Copy !req
274. and he's fired.Copy !req
275. No! I can't do that.Copy !req
276. It's wrong!Copy !req
277. If you don't get him,
he gets you.Copy !req
278. And that little snakeCopy !req
279. keeps slithering up
the corporate ladderCopy !req
280. instead of a good man
like yourself.Copy !req
281. Kenneth, sometimes you've gotta
get your hands dirtyCopy !req
282. for the good of company...Copy !req
283. And country.Copy !req
284. My two favorite
kinds of music.Copy !req
285. Hey, everybody's just
sitting around in thereCopy !req
286. waiting for you two
to shoot promos.Copy !req
287. Thank God I've got my awesome
Phil Donahue story.Copy !req
288. Pete, there's been a
development in the whiskey case.Copy !req
289. What? No!
Forget the whiskey!Copy !req
290. Look, all I wanted to do
was hang with my friends,Copy !req
291. rock some jams,Copy !req
292. and tell the story about
my cousin seeing Phil Donahue.Copy !req
293. I mean me!
I-I'm the one who saw him.Copy !req
294. We just wanted
to tell you...Copy !req
295. We don't know what happened
to your whiskey.Copy !req
296. What was that?Copy !req
297. He doesn't need to know
how it went down.Copy !req
298. It would hurt him too much.Copy !req
299. I broke the number one rule
of being on the force.Copy !req
300. Don't fall in love
with your car?Copy !req
301. No.
I let it get personal.Copy !req
302. You're right.Copy !req
303. The car thing is stupid.Copy !req
304. The thing is,
the writers got away with it.Copy !req
305. So what are we gonna do
about it?Copy !req
306. We're goin' rogue.Copy !req
307. Hey.Copy !req
308. Sorry about last night.Copy !req
309. Yeah.
I had to sleep here.Copy !req
310. You know,
they turned the heat off.Copy !req
311. If I hadn't found
that other blanket, I'd...Copy !req
312. Wait, where'd it go?Copy !req
313. Oh, God.
It was mice!Copy !req
314. The blanket was mice!Copy !req
315. So... what happened
with Sylvia?Copy !req
316. You were right, Liz.Copy !req
317. Lying to my mom
was stressing me out.Copy !req
318. I mean, I haven't
gained weight in months.Copy !req
319. It wasn't worth it.Copy !req
320. So what,
you broke up with Lynn?Copy !req
321. - Just promise me...
- Here.Copy !req
322. That you'll take care of
yourself.Copy !req
323. Don't let Liz work you
too hard.Copy !req
324. I do really hate her.Copy !req
325. I think
she's a terrible person.Copy !req
326. First of all,
why were you in my bedroom,Copy !req
327. and why would you tell me
that part of the conversation?Copy !req
328. It's the only part where we
weren't having break-up sex.Copy !req
329. - Come on!
- Look, I'm sorry.Copy !req
330. And I appreciate
everything you did, so...Copy !req
331. I made you some meatballs.Copy !req
332. It's my mom's recipe.Copy !req
333. - So you're sure you're okay?
- Yeah.Copy !req
334. Definitely.
With all this behind me,Copy !req
335. I'm... happy.
Thanks.Copy !req
336. Eat them now!Copy !req
337. Quiet.
I do the talking.Copy !req
338. Henry.Copy !req
339. Henry Warren?Copy !req
340. Henry Warren-Chang.Copy !req
341. I married a very bossy
Chinese lady.Copy !req
342. What on earth
are you doing here?Copy !req
343. - Please, sit down.
- Ha-ha. Thank you.Copy !req
344. I haven't seen you since
the 1985 G.E. talent showCopy !req
345. when I convinced you
to sing Monster mash,Copy !req
346. knowing full well
that Jack WelchCopy !req
347. is terrified of monsters,
and I ended your career.Copy !req
348. Not "ended."Copy !req
349. Ha-ha.
Doing quite well, actually.Copy !req
350. In publishing now.
Encyclopedias.Copy !req
351. I wanted to stop by
because a young manCopy !req
352. named Kenneth Parcell came
to my office this afternoon.Copy !req
353. Oh, he did?
What did he want?Copy !req
354. He wanted to find out
if my life turned out okayCopy !req
355. after you took me down.Copy !req
356. Because he's afraid he might
have to do the same thingCopy !req
357. to someone else.Copy !req
358. - And what did you tell him?
- I told him the truth.Copy !req
359. I'm great.Copy !req
360. I lease a certified
pre-owned lexus,Copy !req
361. both my sons are magicians,Copy !req
362. and for my birthday,Copy !req
363. wei-lin got me tickets
to the Broadway show Memphis.Copy !req
364. - So...
- Wow.Copy !req
365. And I see that you've done
very well for yourself.Copy !req
366. Well, that sofa
is made from sea biscuit.Copy !req
367. Well...
We're both very impressive.Copy !req
368. But at what cost, Jack?Copy !req
369. The first couple months
that we worked together,Copy !req
370. we were good friends,Copy !req
371. and then we turned against
each other and...Copy !req
372. Oh, come on, Henry.
We were never friends.Copy !req
373. We were pretending so we could
learn each other's weaknessesCopy !req
374. and then...
Exploit them.Copy !req
375. But what about
all the dinners?Copy !req
376. I mean, we talked for hours.Copy !req
377. - I was gathering information.
- All right.Copy !req
378. What about the drive
up to PittsfieldCopy !req
379. when we stopped
at Sturbridge village?Copy !req
380. Remember?
We had fun.Copy !req
381. We saw a candle being made.Copy !req
382. I didn't really care
about that candle, Henry.Copy !req
383. I don't even remember
what color it was.Copy !req
384. Regular white-tan
candle color, Jack!Copy !req
385. You know what?Copy !req
386. I really feel sorry
for Kenneth Parcell,Copy !req
387. because you're gonna beat
all that's good out of himCopy !req
388. and turn him into another
paranoid corporate killer.Copy !req
389. I remember our trip
to Hilton head.Copy !req
390. That wasn't me!Copy !req
391. Take a sit 'cause no one
is going anywhere!Copy !req
392. We know you all drank
Pete's scotch...Copy !req
393. So here's how
we're gonna play it.Copy !req
394. You're gonna hang out with Pete
every night this week.Copy !req
395. Why would we do that?Copy !req
396. 'Cause we have you dead
to rights, you black bastard!Copy !req
397. And if you don't play along,Copy !req
398. we tell Pete
about your little scam...Copy !req
399. How the show's been paying
for your video gamesCopy !req
400. and nerf rifles
and pornography.Copy !req
401. That's right!Copy !req
402. We know you ordered
a porn version of Temple GrandinCopy !req
403. entitled
ten poles rammed in.Copy !req
404. You ought to be
ashamed of yourselves.Copy !req
405. Let's get outta here,
Maroney.Copy !req
406. The sight of these people
plus the crayons I ate earlierCopy !req
407. make me sick.Copy !req
408. Any mysteries
that need solving, Liz?Copy !req
409. - Actually, yes.
- What happened?Copy !req
410. Who attacked you
and gave you that haircut?Copy !req
411. No, it's these meatballs.
They don't taste right.Copy !req
412. There's an extra ingredient.Copy !req
413. It's something familiar.Copy !req
414. P.S. I love you
is so sad.Copy !req
415. No one should have to be marriedCopy !req
416. to Gerard Butler.Copy !req
417. Or Hilary Swank!Copy !req
418. It's tears!Copy !req
419. Frank was crying
when he made these.Copy !req
420. Oh, he lied!
He's miserable.Copy !req
421. But I don't understand.
He seemed so happy earlier.Copy !req
422. Forget it, Tracy.Copy !req
423. It's midtown.Copy !req
424. Kenneth, don't do it.Copy !req
425. You can't destroy Bradley,
you... innocent goon.Copy !req
426. You're the most remarkable
person I know,Copy !req
427. and I've met
Jaleel White.Copy !req
428. Incredibly charismatic.Copy !req
429. He makes Stefan urquelle
look like Steve Urkel.Copy !req
430. - But my career.
- Forget about your career.Copy !req
431. I'd rather see you get fired
and lease a carCopy !req
432. than watch you turn into
someone like me.Copy !req
433. Now, give me
that transcript.Copy !req
434. So you're trying
to help me.Copy !req
435. Of course I am, Kenneth.
I'm your friend.Copy !req
436. It's just... the other day
you said in businessCopy !req
437. I have no friends,Copy !req
438. and you were right
about Bradley,Copy !req
439. so what does that
say about you?Copy !req
440. Maybe you're afraid
I will become you.Copy !req
441. I'll climb
that corporate ladderCopy !req
442. until I eventually
take your job.Copy !req
443. And then where will you be?Copy !req
444. Out on your assCopy !req
445. like stone Mountain's mailmanCopy !req
446. riding his trusty donkey
erasmus.Copy !req
447. Wow. That is some
high-level paranoid thinking.Copy !req
448. Like Hitler...
Or Willy Wonka.Copy !req
449. If you're thinking that way,Copy !req
450. then I'm... already too late.Copy !req
451. Why are you keeping me late
to write the cold open?Copy !req
452. - Well, you know politics.
- I don't know anything.Copy !req
453. I get all my news from the radio
in Grand Theft Auto.Copy !req
454. Frankie! Are you okay?Copy !req
455. La Donna di scoregge
called and said you were sick,Copy !req
456. so I came by to make you
chicken soup.Copy !req
457. - Where can I kill this?
- Wait... Liz called you?Copy !req
458. - No. She called me.
- You!Copy !req
459. How dare you?
Get out of my Liz's office.Copy !req
460. You said Frank
wanted to get back together.Copy !req
461. Why would you tell her that?
I said I was happy.Copy !req
462. You lied... you're miserable.
You cried in my food!Copy !req
463. Sylvia,
your son is not sick.Copy !req
464. And Lynn,
Frank didn't actually sayCopy !req
465. that he wanted
to get back together.Copy !req
466. So I wore my sexy underwear
for nothing?Copy !req
467. I'll kill you!Copy !req
468. Ma'am, I am in
a Mexican prison gang.Copy !req
469. You kill me, Los Tiberones
will green-light a 1-8-7 on you,Copy !req
470. and you don't want
that kind of heat.Copy !req
471. Sylvia,
your son is not happy.Copy !req
472. And not that you care,
but neither is Lynn.Copy !req
473. Oh, that's true.
When Liz called me,Copy !req
474. I was getting this tattoo.Copy !req
475. I'm not creative.Copy !req
476. And believe me, I get it.
This shouldn't work.Copy !req
477. I mean, how they met
is disgusting.Copy !req
478. Their age difference
is just weird.Copy !req
479. They shouldn't go together.Copy !req
480. But you know what else
shouldn't go together?Copy !req
481. Veal, fennel, lemon,
cheese, and pork.Copy !req
482. That's right.
Your meatballs.Copy !req
483. Lynn and Frank...Copy !req
484. Are just as good
as your meatballs.Copy !req
485. That's it?
We're meatballs?Copy !req
486. That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
487. Do you have any ideaCopy !req
488. what I've been through
for love?Copy !req
489. Public humiliation.Copy !req
490. Johnny Carson in his monologue
said I was looking at 20 years,Copy !req
491. but I'd probably
be more attracted to 12.Copy !req
492. I mean, that's an okay joke,
but it hurt.Copy !req
493. And then prison,
where we only had one movieCopy !req
494. with Dabney Coleman
and the kid from E. T.?Copy !req
495. - Cloak & Dagger?
- Shut up, Liz.Copy !req
496. I lost my house, my life,Copy !req
497. but it has all been worth it.Copy !req
498. I mean, even if I never see
Frank again, it was worth it.Copy !req
499. And you call us meatballs!Copy !req
500. Elizabeth,Copy !req
501. I'm gonna ask you to leave.Copy !req
502. Okay, but if you look
at my Internet history,Copy !req
503. I'm researching a movie about
two male centaurs kissing.Copy !req
504. Oh...
I was wrong.Copy !req
505. This isn't creepy because
you're dating your teacher.Copy !req
506. This is creepy because
you're dating your mother.Copy !req
507. You found someone
just like meCopy !req
508. because I'm the woman
you really wanna be with!Copy !req
509. 'Cause you're the best!Copy !req
510. Oh, Frankie, you're the best.Copy !req
511. Oh, my big family.Copy !req
512. Well, maybe I never did
go to collegeCopy !req
513. or travel around the world.Copy !req
514. So I don't know much
about worldly thingsCopy !req
515. like taco meat
and having all your fingers.Copy !req
516. Lord knows some of my friends
are just shrubsCopy !req
517. I put hats on
and get high with.Copy !req
518. My wife had two
of the president's babies,Copy !req
519. and you're one of 'em.Copy !req
520. I can tell you one thing...Copy !req
521. I'm gonna kill all y'all
in y'all sleep.Copy !req
522. Now, I don't know nothing about
no literature or history,Copy !req
523. but I'll tell you
what I do know.Copy !req
524. This movie was written
by white nerds.Copy !req
525. Cut!Copy !req