1000 Ways to Die 2x3

1. - WHOO!

2. male announcer: OKAY, EASY RIDERS,

3. TIME TO THIN THE HERD.

4. GOING DOWN IS A NECROMANCER

5. WHO GETS COFFINATED,

6. A HOCKEY PLAYER WHO GETS ICED...

7. - YEAH!

8. THEN SOME CACTUS FREAKS

9. WHO GET NEEDLED,

10. AND A STICKUP GUY GETS SHOT DOWN.

11. A BIKER GETS BUMPED.

12. AND RACCOON-LOVER GETS STUMPED.

13. IT'S JUST NATURE'S WAY

14. OF SAYING THE NEXT EPISODE OF 1,000 WAYS TO DIE

15. IS UPON US.

16. DEATH IS EVERYWHERE.

17. MOST OF US TRY TO AVOID IT.

18. OTHERS CAN'T GET OUT OF ITS WAY.

19. EVERY DAY, WE FIGHT A NEW WAR AGAINST GERMS,

20. TOXINS,

21. INJURY,

22. ILLNESS,

23. AND CATASTROPHE.

24. THERE'S A LOT OF WAYS TO WIND UP DEAD.

25. THE FACT THAT WE SURVIVE AT ALL IS A MIRACLE.

26. BECAUSE EVERY DAY WE LIVE, WE FACE...

27. CHELSEA WAS WORKING LATE AT THE URGENT CARE CENTER.

28. SHE OFTEN BURNED THE MIDNIGHT OIL

29. SORTING THROUGH FILES

30. AND PREPPING FOR THE NEXT DAY'S PATIENTS.

31. THIS WAS HER FAVORITE TIME.

32. JUST HER AND THE CALM QUIET OF THE EMPTY CLINIC.

33. BUT TONIGHT, SHE WASN'T ALONE.

34. - HELLO? SOMEONE THERE?

35. HELLO?

36. HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

37. - STOP! RIGHT THERE! STOP!

38. SHUT UP!

39. A DESPERATE DRUG ADDICT WITH A GUN.

40. TOUGH SITUATION.

41. BUT CHELSEA WAS AN EX-ARMY NURSE.

42. SHE'D BEEN IN THE LINE OF FIRE.

43. - I NEED THE DRUG! WHERE'S THE DRUGS?

44. - THERE RIGHT HERE.

45. - OPEN IT! GET THE KEY!

46. - IF IT'S A DRUG DEPENDENCE THAT HE'S DEVELOPED,

47. PHYSIOLOGICAL DEPENDENCE ON THE MEDICATION,

48. HE ACTUALLY NEEDS TO HAVE

49. REGULAR INFUSIONS OF THE SUBSTANCE

50. TO MAINTAIN THAT EQUILIBRIUM.

51. - WHAT DO YOU NEED?

52. - I JUST NEED SOMETHIN' TO CALM DOWN!

53. - YOU CAN EVEN SAY THE PERSON IS INCAPABLE

54. OF RATIONAL DECISION-MAKING PROCESS,

55. BECAUSE THEY'RE ENTIRELY FOCUSED

56. ON WHERE IS THEIR NEXT HIT GOING TO COME FROM?

57. THE BALLSY NURSE

58. WAS MORE THAN HAPPY TO LOAD HIM UP ON PAINKILLERS,

59. HOPING TO KNOCK HIM OUT.

60. - LET'S SIT YOU DOWN, OKAY?

61. ONCE THE FIRST RUSH OF NARCOTICS HIT HIM,

62. HE TURNED HIS ATTENTION TO NURSE CHELSEA.

63. - PUT IT DOWN!

64. - YOU GOT WHAT I WANT.

65. - JUST RELAX.

66. I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

67. JUST PUT THE GUN DOWN. - I WANT YOU.

68. THE DOPE WAS MAKING HIM DOPY.

69. - JUST BACK UP.

70. CHELSEA JUST NEEDED A LITTLE MORE TIME

71. BEFORE HE DROPPED.

72. - THIS WHAT YOU WANT?

73. YEAH?

74. - ALL THE WAY.

75. - YEAH, OKAY.

76. CHELSEA'S COMBAT TRAINING KICKED IN.

77. SHE KNEW THE M.R.I. MACHINE

78. HAD AN ELECTROMAGNETIC FORCE FIVE TIMES GREATER

79. THAN A JUNKYARD SCRAP METAL MAGNET.

80. - MY LEGS?

81. IT COULD POP THE BUTTONS

82. RIGHT OFF THE JUNKIE'S JEANS.

83. SHE HIT THE "ON" BUTTON.

84. BUT THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED

85. THAT SURPRISED EVEN CHELSEA.

86. TURNS OUT OUR DRUG ADDICT

87. WAS DAMAGED GOODS.

88. HE HAD A STEEL PLATE IN HIS HEAD.

89. TOO DOPED UP TO RESIST,

90. THE M.R.I. DREW HIM INTO ITS MAGNETIC FIELDS

91. AND HE WENT FROM BAD GUY...

92. TO DEAD GUY.

93. - HEAD SLAMMING ONTO THE MACHINE

94. COULD BASICALLY BE LIKE SOMEONE HITTING YOUR HEAD WITH A BAT.

95. IT MAY CAUSE BOTH INJURY FROM THE BRAIN

96. HITTING THAT METAL M.R.I.,

97. AND THEN INJURY FROM THE BRAIN SLOSHING BACK

98. AND HITTING THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SKULL,

99. CAUSING BRAIN SWELLING OR BLEEDING

100. AND LEADING TO BRAIN DEATH EVENTUALLY.

101. THIS COULD HAVE HAD A MUCH DIFFERENT ENDING,

102. BUT CHELSEA WAS COOL AS A CUCUMBER...

103. WITH A HOT JALAPENO BODY.

104. - RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE.

105. - YEAH, YEAH. - WE ALMOST GOT IT.

106. SOME PEOPLE COLLECT COINS.

107. OTHERS, STAMPS.

108. THESE TWO LONERS HAVE TAKEN THEIR EMPTY LIVES

109. AND FILLED THEM UP WITH... CACTUS.

110. - OH! OH! - IS IT OKAY?

111. TODAY, THEY'RE CELEBRATING.

112. - YES! - BEAUTIFUL!

113. THEY JUST RETURNED FROM A TRIP

114. TO THE ARIZONA DESERT, WHERE THEY HAD STOLEN

115. A VALUABLE SIX-FOOT SAGUARO.

116. - I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FINALLY GOT IT!

117. TO HONOR THE OCCASION, THEY HAMMERED DOWN

118. A MIND-ALTERING BREW OF MESCAL, A DISTILLED SPIRIT,

119. AND PEYOTE BUTTONS, A POWERFUL HALLUCINOGEN.

120. BOTH COME FROM THE CACTUS FAMILY.

121. SAGUARO!

122. SAGUARO!

123. - WHOO-HOO!

124. WITH THEIR MINDS SCRAMBLED,

125. THEY WERE LIKE TWO BABES IN THE WOODS—

126. VERY SPINY WOODS.

127. - THESE THINGS ARE SHARP!

128. IN ARIZONA,

129. SAGUARO ARE A PROTECTED PLANT SPECIES.

130. - AW, SO GOOD!

131. IN THEIR TRIPPED-OUT MINDS,

132. THEY EXPERIENCE A RARE PHENOMENON,

133. A SHARED HALLUCINATION.

134. THE SPRIT OF THE SAGUARO

135. BEGINS TO SPEAK OUT TO THEM.

136. YOU HAVE DONE WRONG!

137. - SOUNDS TRIPPY.

138. - YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS.

139. THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR THE FREAKS.

140. THEY WENT FROM TRIPPING OUT

141. TO FLIPPING OUT.

142. - YOU HAVE DISTURBED THE CACTUS UNIVERSE!

143. - NO, IT'S NOT US!

144. - YOU WILL DIE!

145. - DIE!

146. THE GUILT-RIDDEN SPINAL TAPPERS LIT OUT,

147. RUNNING AS FAST AS THEY COULD

148. FROM THE VOICE IN THEIR HEADS.

149. - DIE!

150. BLINDED BY FEAR,

151. EACH TURNED A CORNER AND CAME FACE TO FACE

152. WITH INSTANT CACTUS KARMA.

153. - DIE!

154. THE FIRST WOUND UP RUN THROUGH

155. BY AN AGAVE PLANT.

156. - THESE NEEDLES CAN PIERCE INTO THE HEART ITSELF.

157. THE HEART STOPS, AND CIRCULATION STOPS,

158. AND THE MAN DIES FROM WHAT WE CALL CARDIAC TAMPONADE.

159. THE OTHER MET A SIMILARLY GRUESOME FATE,

160. PIERCED 100 TIMES OVER

161. BY THE RAZOR SHARP NEEDLES OF A SMALL SAGUARO.

162. - THE NEEDLES ACTUALLY PIERCED HIS EYEBALLS.

163. IF THE NEEDLES ARE LONG ENOUGH,

164. THE NEEDLES COULD HAVE GONE THROUGH

165. AND HIT HIS BRAIN.

166. IS THERE A POINT TO THIS STORY?

167. DON'T DISTURB THE CACTUS UNIVERSE.

168. COMING UP...

169. A BIKER CHICK HITS THE ROAD.

170. AND IF THE VAN'S ROCKIN',

171. DON'T COME KNOCKIN'. - AAH!

172. UNLESS YOU'RE DEAD.

173. IT WAS THE END OF ANOTHER LONG DAY FOR TERRI,

174. A WARDROBE ASSISTANT ON A FILM SET.

175. LIKE ANYONE ELSE, SHE NEEDED TO UNWIND.

176. UNLIKE ANYONE ELSE... - HEY, BABY.

177. WAS THE WAY SHE WENT ABOUT IT.

178. - HOW ARE YOU? ABSOLUTELY.

179. TERRI LIKED TO UNWIND BY GETTING OFF.

180. BUT FOR HER TO GET OFF,

181. FIRST SHE HAD TO GET ON...

182. HER BOYFRIEND JESSE'S MOTORCYCLE.

183. - WHOO!

184. THIS HIGHLY SEXUAL, GOOD-LOOKING WOMAN

185. COULD ONLY ACHIEVE ORGASM

186. WHILE STRADDLING A SPEEDING CROTCH ROCKET.

187. - WHOO!

188. IT WAS LIKE A 400-POUND,

189. 200-HORSEPOWER VIBRATOR.

190. - FEMALES WANT TO BE TEASED,

191. AND THEY REALLY ENJOY THE LEAD-UP.

192. AND A LOT OF GUYS KIND OF FORGET

193. THAT THE LEAD-UP IS IMPORTANT,

194. ESPECIALLY IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR GIRL ORGASM.

195. LEAD HER UP TO IT.

196. JESSE WAS COOL.

197. WHEN THEY GOT HOME,

198. HE KNEW TERRI WOULD TAKE CARE OF HIS NEEDS.

199. SO WHAT IF SHE POPPED HER WEASEL ALONG THE WAY?

200. EVERY SHUDDER FROM THE THROBBING ENGINE

201. TRAVELED THROUGH THE BIKE'S FRAME

202. AND INTO TERRI'S FRAME.

203. SHE WAS STARTING TO GET GOOEY.

204. - YOU GET SO LOST IN THE MOMENT,

205. YOU MIGHT FORGET THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY

206. ON A MOTORCYCLE DRIVING

207. AND THAT YOU NEED TO HOLD ONTO YOUR GUY.

208. TERRI THREW HE HEAD BACK

209. AND SURRENDERED.

210. THE BIG "O" WAS UPON HER.

211. - WHEN THE BODY REACHES AN ORGASM,

212. YOU CAN START JERKING YOUR HANDS

213. OR JERKING YOUR LEGS, FOR EXAMPLE,

214. OR STARTING TO MOVE SPASMODICALLY.

215. AND THIS LOSS OF CONTROL

216. COULD BECOME CRITICALLY DANGEROUS,

217. CATASTROPHICALLY WHEN YOU'RE PRECARIOUSLY PERCHED

218. UPON A MOTORCYCLE.

219. IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT,

220. TERRI'S SEISMIC CONTRACTIONS

221. KNOCKED HER RIGHT OFF HER SEX MACHINE.

222. - IT TRULY IS LIKE THE BODY IS GETTING SQUASHED

223. AGAINST A HARD OBJECT,

224. BREAK BONES, WHICH CAN THEN RIP INTO THE VITAL ORGANS,

225. THE DELICATE ORGANS OF THE BODY.

226. YOU CAN HAVE CATASTROPHIC BLEEDING.

227. ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE HEART SHUTS DOWN

228. AND YOU DIE A QUICK, BUT PAINFUL DEATH.

229. - WHOO!

230. TERRI JUST WANTED TO UNWIND...

231. BUT IN THE END...

232. SHE CAME UNDONE.

233. THERE WAS SOMETHING NOT RIGHT ABOUT MASON.

234. YOU COULD TELL JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM.

235. HE NEVER EVEN HAD A STEADY JOB,

236. UNTIL THIS ONE...

237. - HOW YOU DOIN' BACK THERE, BABY?

238. WORKING FOR THE COUNTY MORGUE

239. DELIVERING DEAD BODIES TO FUNERAL HOMES

240. AND CEMETERIES.

241. - BABY, YOU WERE SO GOOD LAST NIGHT.

242. IT'S A SHAME I GOTTA PUT YOU IN THE GROUND.

243. HE LOVED HIS JOB.

244. THE PROBLEM WAS, HE LOVED THE BODIES EVEN MORE,

245. ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN. - AH!

246. BEFORE HE WOULD DRIVE THEM...

247. HE WOULD... DRIVE THEM.

248. - PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEX WITH DEAD PEOPLE

249. ARE IN THE ULTIMATE POWER POSITION,

250. 'CAUSE THERE'S NO FEEDBACK WHATSOEVER.

251. THEY WANT SOMEONE WHO'S GONNA BE COMPLETELY COMPLIANT

252. AND NOT REJECT THEM.

253. AFTER STUFFING THE STIFF WITH HIS STIFFY,

254. THINGS GOT A LITTLE IFFY.

255. LATE FOR THE FUNERAL,

256. MASON TRIES A SHORTCUT THROUGH A PARKING LOT.

257. - AAH!

258. MASON HAD FORGOTTEN

259. TO LOCK THE WHEELS OF THE CART.

260. WHEN THE VAN STOPPED,

261. THE COFFIN DIDN'T.

262. - THE ACTION OF THE COFFIN RAMMING INTO THE HEAD

263. AND FORCING THE HEAD AND NECK FORWARD,

264. THAT KIND OF HIGH VELOCITY SEVERS THE BRAINSTEM.

265. THE ACTUAL IMPACT ITSELF

266. IS GONNA CAUSE AN IMMEDIATE LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS.

267. MASON WOUND UP BECOMING

268. THE THING HE CRAVED MOST,

269. A COLD AND LIFELESS CORPSE.

270. - [humming Chopin's Funeral March]

271. GO TO HELL, YOU FREAK.

272. - AAH!

273. UP NEXT...

274. SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE SUPPORTS NEW THEORY—

275. SOME PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

276. AND A HOCKEY GAME TURNS INTO A BLOODBATH.

277. GOMER WAS A LOWLIFE STICKUP MAN,

278. BUT THE STICK, ALONG WITH HIS HEAD,

279. WAS UP SOMEWHERE ELSE.

280. HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY BRAINS, BUT HE DID HAVE A GUN,

281. AND THAT MADE GOMER DANGEROUS...

282. TO HIMSELF.

283. TODAY WAS A SPECIAL DAY FOR GOMER.

284. HE JUST GOT OFF PAROLE

285. FOR HIS LAST FAILED STICKUP ATTEMPT.

286. IT WAS TIME TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT.

287. HIS TARGET, A JEWELRY STORE.

288. HE THREW A RIDICULOUS-LOOKING FISHNET STOCKING

289. OVER HIS HEAD...

290. DREW HIS GUN...

291. AND PROMPTLY WALKED INTO THE WRONG STORE.

292. - THIS IS A STICKUP!

293. VERY WRONG.

294. INSTEAD OF A JEWELRY STORE,

295. GOMER FOUND HIMSELF HOLDING A GUN

296. ON A GUN SHOP.

297. - MOST GUYS IN GUN STORES,

298. BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF BEING ROBBED,

299. THEY'RE GONNA BE ARMED— ALL LEGAL.

300. WHEN THIS GUY WALKED IN,

301. HE WALKED INTO THE WORST POSSIBLE SITUATION HE COULD.

302. IT'S NOT SURPRISING HE GOT A HAIL OF BULLETS

303. FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM.

304. HE TOOK SEVEN SHOTS IN ALL,

305. BUT IT ONLY TOOK ONE TO KILL HIM.

306. - KILL SHOT HAS TO BE THE RIGHT BULLET

307. WITH THE RIGHT VELOCITY

308. IN THE MOST APPROPRIATE LOCATION.

309. THROUGH THE HEART IS PROBABLY THE MOST DEVASTATING

310. SUDDEN KILL SHOT,

311. BECAUSE YOU HAVE A SUDDEN DROP

312. IN CARDIAC OUTPUT.

313. YOU HAVE NO CIRCULATION,

314. AND LITERALLY WITHIN SECONDS,

315. THE PERSON IS GONE.

316. GOMER'S LAST STICKUP

317. WAS HIS LAST ACT ON EARTH...

318. BUT HIS FAME LIVES ON.

319. ON THE INTERNET, THE GUN SHOP SECURITY CAM VIDEO

320. HAS TWO MILLION HITS AND COUNTING.

321. "I WENT TO A FIGHT AND A HOCKEY GAME BROKE OUT."

322. IT'S AN OLD JOKE

323. WITH A LOT OF TRUTH IN IT.

324. MARIO ONCE HAD DREAMS OF TURNING PRO,

325. BUT NOW HE WAS JUST ANOTHER 30-SOMETHING WEEKEND WARRIOR

326. PLAYING CITY LEAGUE HOCKEY.

327. BUT THAT DIDN'T KEEP HIM FROM PUTTING THE HURT ON

328. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.

329. - GOTTA BE MEAN. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

330. IT'S A GAME OF TOUGHNESS, IT REALLY IS.

331. PEOPLE LOVE THAT ABOUT HOCKEY.

332. 95% OF THE GAME IS WON THROUGH TOUGHNESS

333. AND BEING ROUGH AND NOT BEING AFRAID AT ALL.

334. EVEN IN PRACTICE,

335. MARIO COULDN'T RESIST DROPPING THE HAMMER

336. ON HIS OWN TEAMMATES.

337. - DUDE, SAME TEAM, MAN! SAME TEAM!

338. MAYBE HE WAS BITTER ABOUT NEVER MAKING IT.

339. MAYBE IT WAS JUST PART OF HIS GAME.

340. OR MAYBE, LIKE MOST THOUGHT,

341. MARIO WAS JUST A MEAN AND NASTY SON OF A BITCH.

342. WHATEVER IT WAS,

343. EVERYONE HAD GROWN TIRED OF HIS CHEAP SHOTS.

344. - YOU'RE A HACK, BUDDY!

345. SO WHEN ANOTHER FLYING ELBOW

346. WOUND UP IN A TEAMMATE'S FACE...

347. - COME ON, MAN! WANT TO GO?

348. THE GLOVES CAME OFF.

349. - YOU CANNOT BACK DOWN.

350. THE SCARIEST GUY IS NOT THE BIGGEST, TOUGHEST GUY.

351. THE SCARIEST GUY IS THE GUY WHO'S WILLING

352. TO LITERALLY DIE DURING THIS FIGHT.

353. HOCKEY FIGHTS ARE USUALLY HARMLESS,

354. BUT THIS TIME, MARIO WASN'T SO LUCKY.

355. HIS TEAMMATE WENT DOWN, HIS SKATE CAME UP,

356. AND THE SHARP EDGE OF THE BLADE

357. SLICED RIGHT THROUGH MARIO'S CAROTID ARTERY.

358. - HOCKEY BLADES ARE VERY DANGEROUS WEAPONS

359. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

360. IF ONE OF THESE HOCKEY BLADES

361. SLICES THROUGH HIS CAROTID ARTERY,

362. JUGULAR VEIN, DEATH IS MOST LIKELY INSTANTANEOUS,

363. WITHIN MINUTES.

364. - ALL OF US LIKE TO SEE

365. A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOD DURING HOCKEY.

366. YOU KNOW, IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU'RE A GLADIATOR

367. BACK IN ROME.

368. YOU KNOW, PEOPLE LOVE IT.

369. MARIO NEVER MADE IT TO THE PROS...

370. BUT IN THE END,

371. HE SURE LEFT HIS MARK.

372. YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THIS.

373. A SOLDIER GETS SCREWED UP...

374. AND CHEWED OUT, COMING UP.

375. SINCE 1986,

376. A NUCLEAR POWER PLANT MELTDOWN

377. HAS MADE CHERNOBYL, RUSSIA,

378. THE NUMBER ONE HOT SPOT IN THE WORLD,

379. AS IN RADIATION.

380. - THE CHERNOBYL ACCIDENT PROBABLY RELEASED

381. ABOUT 400 TIMES MORE RADIATION

382. THAN WHAT HAPPENED, SAY, IN HIROSHIMA.

383. 40 TONS OF NUCLEAR MATERIAL IN THE REACTOR

384. IS SPEWED OUT,

385. AND THE IMMEDIATE AREA

386. BECOMES CONTAMINATED WITH RADIO ISOTOPES.

387. - AH!

388. THE ONLY PEOPLE TO BE FOUND THERE ARE SOLDIERS,

389. AND THE ONLY SOLDIERS STATIONED THERE

390. ARE TOTAL SCREW-UPS.

391. VLADIMIR, MIKHAIL, AND SONIA

392. ARE THE RUSSIAN VERSION OF F TROOP...

393. AS IN FD UP.

394. THINGS WERE GETTING HOTTER IN THE HOT ZONE.

395. SONIA WAS LIQUORED UP

396. AND READY FOR ACTION. - OOH!

397. BUT NOT WITH MIKHAIL.

398. - OOH!

399. IT WAS SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.

400. IF MIKHAIL COULDN'T HAVE SONIA,

401. HE'D HAVE TO FIT IT INTO SOMETHING ELSE.

402. SO WHEN HE SPIED A LONELY RACCOON

403. ON THE EDGE OF THE FOREST,

404. IT WAS GAME ON.

405. - A MAN WHO MIGHT CONSIDER BESTIALITY

406. WOULD POSSIBLY ALREADY HAVE THOSE KINDS OF FANTASIES

407. IN A SOBER STATE OF MIND,

408. BUT NOW, ON TOP OF THAT,

409. BEING INTOXICATED,

410. HE'S MORE LIKELY TO HAVE LESS IMPULSE CONTROL

411. AND TO ACT UPON THOSE URGES AND DESIRES.

412. THE DRUNKEN SOLDIER

413. RAN OFF WITH HIS COON-TANG.

414. BUT THINGS WERE ABOUT TO GET ROCKY

415. FOR THESE TWO LOVERS.

416. - RACCOONS ARE VERY AGGRESSIVE ANIMALS.

417. THEY ARE TERRITORIAL.

418. THEY HAVE 40 VERY SHARP TEETH

419. THAT THEY'RE GONNA USE TO PROTECT THEMSELF,

420. AND THEY ARE COMMONLY KNOWN TO BITE.

421. AND BITE IT DID.

422. IN ONE VICIOUS CHOMP,

423. THE PRIVATE'S PARTS

424. WOUND UP IN THE MOUTH OF THE RACCOON,

425. AND MIKHAIL'S BLOOD WENT "RUSSIAN"

426. RIGHT OUT OF HIS BODY.

427. - IT'S NOT JUST THE BLOOD LOSS THAT KILLS YOU,

428. BUT THE OTHER ASPECTS OF THAT TRAUMA.

429. ARRHYTHMIAS, BLOOD ACCUMULATING AROUND THE HEART

430. AND SQUEEZING THE HEART,

431. SO THERE ARE A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT FACTORS

432. THAT RESULT IN DEATH.

433. PRIVATE MIKHAIL LEARNED THE HARD WAY.

434. IT'S NOT NICE TO SCREW MOTHER NATURE.

435. SHE JUST MIGHT BITE BACK.

436. IT'S ORIGINAL!