1000 Ways to Die 2x11

Directed by

A low rider gets crushed; nun chucks take out a dummy; Big Foot gets the boot; a case of spy vs. die; bikini girl swallows the wrong thing; a jockey gets thrown; an adult clown gets deep throated.

Request examples:

!req 1000 Ways to Die 2x11 [02:32]
!req 1000 Ways to Die 2x11 [1000 Ways to Die 2x11]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req 1000 Ways to Die 2x11 [10-11]; !req 1000 Ways to Die 2x11 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. male announcer: NOT FEELING SO HOT?

2. - OOH, THIS IS NOT RIGHT!

3. GETTING TO YOU?

4. THINGS COULD BE WORSE.

5. INTO TELEVISION.

6. WHO KEPT GETTING HIT ON?

7. WHO COULDN'T GET AHEAD?

8. THEN THERE'S THE PAINT HUFFER WHO GOT BURNT OUT.

9. WHO HAD IT IN FOR SANTA.

10. - HO! HO! HO!

11. IF YOU'RE FEELING DOWN,

12. WE'VE GOT PERFECT PICK-ME-UP.

13. 1,000 WAYS TO DIE!

14. DEATH IS EVERYWHERE.

15. MOST OF US TRY TO AVOID IT.

16. OTHERS CAN'T GET OUT OF ITS WAY.

17. A NEW WAR AGAINST...

18. THERE'S A LOT OF WAYS TO WIND UP DEAD.

19. AT ALL IS A MIRACLE...

20. BECAUSE EVERY DAY WE LIVE, WE FACE...

21. TO MOVE UP THE LADDER.

22. - HERE'S YOUR COFFEE, MR. ELLIOT.

23. - THANK YOU.

24. A REAL GO-GETTER,

25. TO ENERGY DRINKS.

26. I CAN GET FOR YOU?

27. - YES.

28. BOXES, PLEASE?

29. - SURE.

30. WAS YOUR BASIC SLEAZEBAG.

31. UP TO A POINT,

32. ON AN UPCOMING PROMOTION.

33. - WHAT WOULD YOUR WIFE SAY?

34. - WHAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW WON'T HURT HER.

35. SO NERVOUS, SHE KNOCKED

36. AT AN EVEN FASTER PACE.

37. - COME IN.

38. - MR. ELLIOT?

39. FOR A MINUTE?

40. ABOUT THE PROMOTION.

41. I COULD DO?

42. - WELL...

43. THING YOU CAN DO.

44. A LOT TO FURTHER HER CAREER,

45. BUT MR. ELLIOT WASN'T ONE OF THEM.

46. - THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

47. OF ENERGY BOOST.

48. OF CAFFEINE.

49. THAN A TYPICAL CUP OF COFFEE,

50. 100 MILLIGRAMS.

51. DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS.

52. AT HIGHER LEVELS,

53. INCREASED RESPIRATORY RATE, INCREASED HEART RATE.

54. CAFFEINE OVERDOSE.

55. SLIP INTO THE BOSS'S OFFICE.

56. SOMETHING WAS UP.

57. UNABLE TO RESIST,

58. TAMMY TOOK A PEEK...

59. WITH FLYING COLORS.

60. OH, MY GOD.

61. GOT THE PROMOTION.

62. - TAMMY ERUPTED.

63. - MR. ELLIOT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST HEARD?

64. TO THE NEW GUY!

65. WENT THROUGH THE ROOF.

66. ALL FUELED BY TEN 16-OUNCE ENERGY DRINKS.

67. - I CAN'T STAND YOU AND I HOPE THAT YOU DIE!

68. OOH! THIS IS NOT RIGHT!

69. THIS IS NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FA—

70. TAMMY'S

71. SHE HIT THE FLOOR.

72. HIGH CAFFEINE LEVELS,

73. OF THESE TWO AGENTS.

74. AND THEN DEATH.

75. TO GET AHEAD.

76. I CAN GET FOR YOU?

77. SHE WOULDN'T GIVE IT...

78. - THIS IS NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FA—

79. AT A DEAD END.

80. - COME ON! GET HIM!

81. - GET HIM! GET HIM IN A HEADLOCK!

82. NIGHT AT FERNANDO'S PLACE.

83. EVERY WEEK,

84. AND BREWSKIES.

85. - YEAH! CLOTHESLINE!

86. - TONIGHT, FERNANDO HAD INVITED A NEW GUY, CHIP.

87. THE HAND OF FRIENDSHIP.

88. ANGER AND FRUSTRATION.

89. A LOT OF IT DUE

90. AS A TV SPORTSCASTER.

91. - WOO-HOO!

92. - OH!

93. - THE ATOMIC ELBOW! YEAH!

94. CHIP'S BEHAVIOR

95. IF HE HAD MADE A MISTAKE.

96. - COME ON. LET'S GO RIGHT NOW.

97. - LET'S GO! - OH, YEAH.

98. COME ON.

99. YEAH!

100. ANGER MANAGEMENT.

101. A STRAIGHTJACKET.

102. - RELAX. DAMN.

103. - YOU WANT SOME, BIG BOY?

104. HAS ISSUES WITH ANGER.

105. YOU COMBINE ALCOHOL WITH THIS,

106. IT'S A VERY BAD COMBINATION,

107. THEIR IMPULSE CONTROL,

108. TO THINK THINGS THROUGH.

109. - OH, YOU WANT SOME MORE OF THIS?

110. FINALLY, CHIP BROUGHT THE PARTY...

111. AND HIMSELF TO A DEAD STOP.

112. IT WAS A TRIPLE WHAMMY.

113. HIS FACE TO SHREDS,

114. THE BLOW BROKE HIS NECK,

115. FROM THE SEVERED WIRES.

116. HAIR-TRIGGER TEMPER.

117. - YEAH!

118. BUT IN THE END...

119. HE FINALLY WOUND UP... IN TELEVISION.

120. - GET UP!

121. COMING UP...

122. HURT ON...

123. - OH!

124. AND HE BLEW HIMSELF UP.

125. OF HER YEARS.

126. IT'S A PICTURE OF TRANQUILITY UNTIL...

127. TO POUNCE ON HER PURSE.

128. - HEY!

129. BE 74,

130. BUT SHE'S ALSO A FIFTH-DEGREE BLACK BELT IN TAE KWON DO.

131. THAN THIS LOWLIFE.

132. WHOOP-ASS.

133. - GO GET HIM, GRANNY!

134. - YEAH! KICK HIS ASS!

135. - KICK HIS ASS!

136. SMALL, MEDIUM, AND LARGE.

137. WHO'S BEEN DOING

138. FOR 20 OR 30 YEARS,

139. SHE'S ALREADY A TRAINED KILLER AT THAT LEVEL.

140. THE THIEF'S

141. HITTING A SWEET OLD LADY.

142. BLOWS,

143. GRANNY'S FUSE.

144. - DO IT! - OH!

145. - YEAH! - YOU LITTLE PRICK.

146. GET BACK HERE!

147. - OH!

148. - YES!

149. WOW!

150. - OH, MY GOD!

151. SHE'S KICKING HIS ASS!

152. TO WRAP IT UP.

153. WITH A DIALYSIS MACHINE.

154. - HIYA! HIYA!

155. - OH!

156. RIGHT TO HIS THROAT.

157. WHERE THE ADAM'S APPLE IS, OR THE LARYNX IS,

158. TO RUPTURE THE WINDPIPE.

159. NOW HIS BODY WASN'T ABLE

160. THAT IT NEEDED TO LIVE ON.

161. - OH, THAT WAS SERIOUS, MAN.

162. OH, MY GOD.

163. HAVE INVITED HIM OVER FOR TEA.

164. INSTEAD, HE GOT TKO'D...

165. - HIYA! - OH!

166. D.O.A.

167. YOU'RE LOOKING AT FOOTAGE

168. IN SEATTLE.

169. LYING IN HIS ALLEY.

170. REWINDING THE TAPE,

171. ARE SEEN RUNNING AWAY.

172. THEIR VIDEO CAMERA.

173. AND THE VIDEO FOOTAGE,

174. WHAT HAPPENED.

175. - FILL THE BAG UP FOR, LIKE, TEN SECONDS,

176. AND THEN HUFF IT, MAN.

177. THEIR FAVORITE PASTIME,

178. HUFFING.

179. TO GET HIGH.

180. - THIS IS A GOOD TIME.

181. WATCH.

182. DIZZINESS, DISORIENTATION,

183. HALLUCINATIONS, AND PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE.

184. - ONE BIG HIT ON AN AEROSOL CAN,

185. ABOUT 6 TO 71/2 MINUTES.

186. GOING OVER RAINBOWS.

187. HIGHER AND HIGHER AND HIGHER,

188. DUMBER AND DUMBER AND DUMBER.

189. - IS THAT, LIKE, NOT THE BEST STUFF EVER, MAN?

190. - IS IT BAD IF YOU CAN'T HEAR YOUR EARS?

191. - WHOA, WHAT'S THIS?

192. WITH GRAFFITI,

193. OF UNLABELED LIQUIDS.

194. - LOOK.

195. SOLVENTS.

196. - WHAT ARE—OH!

197. THAN AEROSOL PAINT CANS.

198. FROM IT, MAN.

199. IT GETS YOU, LIKE, HIGHER.

200. DIRECTLY OFF HIS CLOTHING.

201. RIGHT OUT OF HIS BODY.

202. - DUDE, THIS STUFF IS COLD, MAN.

203. WOULD ASK THIS NEXT QUESTION.

204. - HEY, YOU GOT THE LIGHTER ON YOU?

205. - DO IT, DO IT, DO IT. - ALL RIGHT, LIGHT IT.

206. - YOU READY? - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

207. - OH, MY GOD.

208. - DUDE, DUDE.

209. - GET ON THE FLOOR! GET ON THE FLOOR!

210. - ROLL—ROLL AROUND.

211. CAUSE A SECOND-DEGREE BURN,

212. OR FOURTH,

213. OF THE SUBSTANCE.

214. A HYPERMETABOLIC STATE.

215. WITH INCREASED HEART RATE, INCREASED RESPIRATORY RATE,

216. INCREASED TEMPERATURE,

217. AND FLUIDS, WHICH THEN WOULD EVENTUALLY LEAD TO DEATH.

218. - DUDE, I THINK HE'S DEAD.

219. - OH, MY GOD. WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.

220. WERE CHARGED WITH MANSLAUGHTER.

221. - GO, GO, GO.

222. THE THIRD HUFFER,

223. TO THE MORGUE.

224. UP NEXT, A SWORDSMAN HITS THE JUICE.

225. GET RUB-A-DUBBED OUT.

226. A STRANGE AND GRISLY SCENE.

227. LYING DEAD IN THEIR HOT TUB.

228. THEY WERE BOILED ALIVE.

229. - CHAMPAGNE.

230. LOVED THE GOOD LIFE.

231. - AND LOBSTER.

232. - OH.

233. THE HIGH LIFE.

234. A MOUTHFUL OF PAINKILLERS...

235. CLIMB INTO THE HOT TUB...

236. POP A BOTTLE OF BUBBLY...

237. AND DRIFT AWAY,

238. NUMB, DUMB, AND FULL OF COM-FORT.

239. THEY WERE PLAYING WITH FIRE.

240. OF THE BOOZE AND DRUGS.

241. - CAN YOU FEEL IT, BABY?

242. AT A CERTAIN TEMPERATURE,

243. AND THAT'S BODY TEMPERATURE.

244. DON'T FUNCTION AS WELL,

245. AND SO YOU'LL END UP

246. OF THE DRUG IN YOUR BODY.

247. - IS IT TOO HOT IN HERE?

248. A BROKEN THERMOSTAT.

249. 110 DEGREES IS AS HOT AS A HOT TUB SHOULD EVER GET.

250. TO KEEP IT IN CHECK,

251. THE TEMPERATURE KEPT CLIMBING.

252. WAS GET OUT.

253. BUT THEY WERE TOO DAMN WASTED.

254. - I FEEL GOOD.

255. THE WATER HIT 150 DEGREES,

256. FROM FIRST-DEGREE BURNS.

257. REACHED 175,

258. SECOND-DEGREE BURNS SET IN.

259. SOON AFTER, THEY WENT INTO SHOCK.

260. DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

261. THE FLUID LEVEL IS LOW,

262. THE HEART DOESN'T WORK, IT GOES INTO SHOCK.

263. DRUGS...

264. ALCOHOL,

265. DEADLY STORM.

266. - ARE YOU FEELING IT, BABY?

267. WERE FINALLY DISCOVERED,

268. BUT STONED SOUP.

269. - WHY ARE YOU RUNNING, MAN?

270. HEAD SHOT.

271. OF THEIR IMMIGRANT PARENTS.

272. - OHH! - GAME OVER.

273. - KNIFED YOU IN THE THROAT.

274. BUT LIKE A LOT OF KIDS,

275. THEY WERE BORED AND RESTLESS.

276. - PSSH.

277. - I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE AT.

278. TO KILL TIME,

279. AND WATCHED SAMURAI FLICKS.

280. HE'S SPINNING THAT THING.

281. - PSSH.

282. OF THE MILITARY CLASS.

283. AND THE EMPEROR OF JAPAN.

284. - I THINK WE COULD DO THAT.

285. - I THINK I COULD DO THAT.

286. - I COULD THAT BETTER.

287. OF SAMURAI SATURATION.

288. THEY COULD DO IN REAL LIFE.

289. - WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

290. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

291. - WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

292. NEVER A GOOD IDEA.

293. - HA.

294. YES!

295. - DUDE, THAT WAS MY MOM'S FAVORITE LAMP.

296. GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

297. BECAME THE REAL THING.

298. TYLER'S FATHER COLLECTED.

299. TODAY'S YOUTH OR ANCIENT JAPANESE SAMURAI,

300. ARE AT STAKE.

301. A DISHONORABLE DEATH.

302. YOU DON'T FEAR DEATH AT ALL.

303. WENT THE WANNABE SAMURAI.

304. THEY WERE IN OVER THEIR HEADS,

305. WAS WILLING TO BACK DOWN.

306. TO DELIVER THE DEATH BLOW.

307. BY A HIGH-VOLTAGE POWER LINE.

308. 240 VOLTS

309. TO THE MADNESS.

310. OF LEAST RESISTANCE.

311. BLOOD VESSELS OR NERVES.

312. CARDIAC ARREST,

313. AND THAT'S THE MOST COMMON CAUSE OF DEATH.

314. THOUGHT THEY COULD BE SAMURAI.

315. - I COULD DO THAT BETTER.

316. FROM THE SWORDS.

317. NEXT UP...

318. - HEY, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, SANTA CLAUS?

319. TAKES HIS LUMPS.

320. TO BE ALONE.

321. TO SHARE THE SEASON'S JOY.

322. ♪ SILENT NIGHT

323. BUT ONE COLD, RAINY CHRISTMAS EVE,

324. THE SWEET VOICES OF CAROLERS.

325. BOB SMILED.

326. WARMED HIS HEART.

327. TO GET RID OF ALL HIS ROTTEN FRUIT.

328. - HEY!

329. YOU SEE, BOB WAS A TOTAL SCROOGE.

330. - HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, SANTA CLAUSE?

331. HO, HO, HO! HE HATED CHRISTMAS.

332. COULDN'T STAND

333. ON HIS GREATEST HIT LIST.

334. - COME ON, GO. GO.

335. - YEAH!

336. BUT THEN, AFTER

337. OF THE GOOD CHEER CROWD,

338. THE WEATHER, LIKE HIS HEART, GOT UGLY.

339. FREEZING RAIN TO HAIL.

340. - SO IN A POWERFUL STORM, YOU HAVE AIR RUSHING UPWARDS,

341. VAPOR TO CONDENSE TO LIQUID.

342. NOW, WE INTRODUCE

343. AND BECOMING HEAVIER.

344. OF THE CLOUD DOWN TO THE EARTH.

345. IF YOU GET HIT BY HAIL, IT'S GONNA HURT.

346. BOB DIDN'T GET HIT...

347. HE GOT CLOBBERED.

348. AND BRITTLE EGGSHELL SCULL.

349. WEIGHED ABOUT TWO POUNDS.

350. ABOUT 100 MILES PER HOUR.

351. BOB WAS A GRUMPY, OLD MAN.

352. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. - HO, HO, HO.

353. BUT IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN CHRISTMAS...

354. - HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, SANTA CLAUS?

355. GET THE HAIL OUT OF HERE.

356. - IT'S ORIGINAL!