1000 Ways to Die 1x9

1. >> Death can be a real hoot as

2. long as you're not the one

3. dying,

4. >>

5. >> you'll bust a gut at the guy

6. who goes belly-Up after his

7. belly blows up,

8. How about the two texters who

9. get their signals crossed?

10. In golf, a Birdie's good,

11. But a rat?

12. Bad,

13. Then there's the clown who's

14. more Boozer than bozo,

15. It's all about laughing in the

16. face of death on 1,000 ways to

17. die,

18. Death is everywhere,

19. Most of us try to avoid it,

20. Others can't get out of its way,

21. every day we fight a new war

22. against germs, toxins, injury,

23. illness, and catastrophe,

24. There's a lot of ways to wind up

25. dead,

26. The fact that we survive at all

27. is a Miracle,

28. Because every day we live

29. we face 1,000 ways to die,

30. >> You guys doing okay?

31. >> Dave "the egg" Restucci was

32. your basic big-Eating,

33. big-Drinking slob,

34. >> Hello?

35. >> What?

36. >> Come on,

37. >> In other words, he was a guy,

38. It's a wonder he could attract

39. fleas, let alone a woman,

40. But here was Audrey, his new

41. girlfriend,

42. >>

43. sorry,

44. >> Never known for his table

45. manners,

46. >>

47. >> today Dave was really letting

48. it fly,

49. >>

50. >> Audrey was mortified,

51. >> Ugh!

52. >> All she wanted was a nice

53. lunch,

54. >>

55. >> not a trip to the zoo,

56. But something was wrong,

57. >>

58. >> belching is caused by

59. Swallowing air or Drinking

60. carbonated beverages,

61. The air is expelled back out as

62. a burp,

63. Dave's problem?

64. The dozen or so peptic ulcers

65. he's got brewing down below,

66. They've started to bleed out,

67. His frat-Boy diet is about to

68. catch up to him,

69. >> Ulcers are like scabs that

70. you get in your stomach,

71. They're very similar to just

72. sores on your skin except the

73. sore is in the lining of your

74. stomach,

75. It would be like having a cut on

76. your skin that was trying to

77. heal but it couldn't heal 'cause

78. you kept pouring battery acid on

79. top of it all the time,

80. This guy was a time bomb waiting

81. to explode,

82. >> come on,

83. >> Come on, let's get this over

84. with,

85. >> Dave convinces Audrey to

86. punch him in the gut, thinking

87. this might solve the problem,

88. >> I mean, are you sure?

89. >> Yeah, just right...

90. >> Are you positive?

91. >>

92. >> All right, I guess I'll do it

93. hard,

94. >>

95. >> when his girlfriend popped

96. him, it ruptured his stomach

97. like a balloon would rupture and

98. all of the contents of his

99. stomach spilled out into his

100. body cavity,

101. >> Dave hit the table like a

102. beached whale, and croaked,

103. >>

104. >>

105. >> Mike Arms was an amateur

106. bodybuilder who had dreams of

107. going pro,

108. But no matter how hard he worked

109. out, he wasn't getting big

110. enough fast enough,

111. >>

112. >> he decided to take the plunge

113. and hit the juice,

114. Even though He was fully aware

115. of the hazards, Mike's obsession

116. with bulking up drove him to

117. stick a needle into himself

118. every day,

119. The combination of anabolic

120. steroids and human growth

121. hormone gave him a rush of

122. incredible power and size,

123. But under his huge chest, Mike

124. was paying an even bigger price,

125. >> Things like anabolic steroids

126. and human growth hormones have a

127. lot of bad effects on the heart,

128. You can develop a heart that is

129. abnormal,

130. The term for that we use is

131. called cardiomyopathy,

132. Cardio means "Heart,"

133. Myopathy means "Abnormal heart

134. muscle,"

135. >>

136. >> juiced up and full of roid

137. rage, Mike hit the gym like a

138. man possessed,

139. Early baldness, shrunken

140. testicles, and a cholesterol

141. count through the roof were a

142. small price to pay for a bigger,

143. badder Mike,

144. But while his body was getting

145. pumped up on the outside, it was

146. breaking down on the inside,

147. >>

148. >> in this country, 300,000 or

149. 400,000 people die suddenly

150. every year,

151. The majority of the people that

152. die suddenly, the bottom of

153. their heart, or the ventricle,

154. gets out of rhythm,

155. It's stopped pumping and if the

156. paramedics weren't able to come

157. quickly enough to shock him back

158. to normal, then he died because

159. of the abnormal heart rhythm,

160. >> Mike's obsession with his

161. body cost him his life,

162. >>

163. >> just blame it on the juice,

164. Coming up, these two texters

165. never got the message,

166. Watch out!

167. And a golfer has a rough time of

168. it and has a stroke,

169. >> our next tale of life

170. interrupted concerns an

171. obsession that's spreading

172. faster than the flu in winter,

173. Texting,

174. Chet and Tricia were no

175. different than any other

176. twenty-Somethings,

177. They spent most of their waking

178. hours heads buried in their

179. "crackberries" And cell phones,

180. texting,

181. >> Most of the social darwinism

182. cases sort of revolve around

183. individual's behavior,

184. But what you here see is the

185. availability of a technology

186. which creates ability for a big

187. group of people to do things

188. that they haven't been doing

189. before,

190. >> Chet was on his way to meet

191. Tricia, arguing by Text over

192. where to pick her up in his

193. half-Ton pickup,

194. >> what?

195. What?

196. >> people get lulled into a

197. sense they can do pretty much

198. anything in a car because most

199. of the time nothing happens,

200. >> "Relax,"

201. >> Chet thought that he could

202. text away while driving,

203. That was dangerous,

204. >> Most of those drivers are

205. driving in a way that when

206. certain factors come together,

207. they're in an irreversible

208. situation,

209. >> Tricia thought she could walk

210. and text, never looking up from

211. the screen,

212. That was stupid,

213. We all know what happens when

214. stupid meets dangerous,

215. >> what the hell was that?

216. >> Right now we are sort of in

217. this experimental phase where a

218. technology has emerged and

219. unfortunately some people will

220. lose their lives because they

221. don't necessarily adapt or they

222. use the technology

223. inappropriately,

224. And so there's a particular

225. social dimension in this kind of

226. social darwinism,

227. >> and so ends another modern

228. romance,

229. irishmen Patty and Nick Have two

230. passions in life,

231. Golfing and drinking,

232. Not necessarily in that order,

233. On a vacation to the United

234. States, these two mates proved

235. to be much better drinkers than

236. they were golfers,

237. >>

238. >> It's bad grass,

239. That's what it is,

240. >> Golfers are going to the golf

241. course to play well,

242. They wanna have a good time and

243. playing a good round of golf is

244. fairly enjoyable,

245. But when you do start to slice

246. the ball and it's going very far

247. off-Line, yes, you're gonna

248. either lose it or get in some

249. brush and who knows what's gonna

250. happen,

251. >> When Patty hit an errant shot

252. into the rough, things got a lot

253. rougher when a rat ran up his

254. pants leg,

255. >> Ah!

256. get out, get out!

257. Out, out, oh!

258. Oh, geez,

259. >> The rat took off But not

260. before leaving Patty a big, wet

261. surprise,

262. >> You've pissed yourself, man!

263. >> It wasn't me,

264. It was some kind of bear,

265. possum, or rat or something,

266. >> Patty eventually calmed down

267. and the two finished their

268. match,

269. But the duffer's demise has

270. already begun,

271. >> If you get peed on by a rat

272. and you have a break in the skin

273. and it's allowed to get in

274. there, then, yes, it would be

275. possible to get infected that

276. way,

277. It's a bacteria that gets into

278. your body and then it reproduces

279. and spreads throughout your body

280. and that's what makes you sick,

281. >> After a week back in Ireland,

282. Patty's health takes a nasty

283. turn,

284. He's been infected with a deadly

285. bacteria known as leptospirosis,

286. >> Most people who get infected

287. with leptospirosis, their immune

288. system will kick in and will get

289. rid of it,

290. A few people will get a more

291. severe form called Weil's

292. disease,

293. >> Weil's disease attacked

294. Patty's major organs,

295. First, a liver already suffering

296. from a lifetime of pub crawling,

297. His kidneys went next,

298. >> Very often, by the time the

299. person is sick enough to come

300. into the hospital, sick enough

301. to get started on the

302. antibiotics, the damage has

303. already been done,

304. >> It ended with Patty fading

305. fast, not feeling up to par,

306. >> Pat?

307. >> Patty?

308. >> He hit into the Hazard and

309. wound up taking a stroke,

310. Next up, a thief goes to great

311. lengths to steal a car,

312. Just not far enough,

313. And a clown hits the hooch and

314. then runs into a hitch,

315. >> For renowned chef Tom

316. boardwell, the only thing he

317. loved more than food was driving

318. his 1969 gto judge,

319. Every Sunday night, he'd pop

320. the top and take the kids out

321. for a sunset Cruise in his

322. Cherry ride,

323. But boardwell had no clue

324. someone else was looking to get

325. behind the wheel of his classic

326. muscle car,

327. Known as "the dangler" Because

328. of his technique, this infamous

329. thief specialized in making

330. bitching cars disappear,

331. The judge was next on his list,

332. But the mission turned

333. impossible,

334. Somehow his Slack line got

335. tangled with his leg leaving

336. "the dangler" to dangle,

337. Sometimes life becomes a game of

338. inches,

339. The rope around his foot is just

340. out of his reach, while below,

341. "the dangler" is a mere

342. fingertip from his prize,

343. The clock begins to tick on the

344. inverted thief,

345. >> So what happens over time

346. when we hang upside down like

347. that, the blood pools in the

348. sinuses, it backs up the ability

349. of more blood to enter into the

350. brain sinuses,

351. The brain sinuses can't handle

352. that pressure,

353. >> After three hours of

354. struggling, his rising blood

355. pressure begins to creep into

356. the danger zone,

357. >> We get these "Venous" Or

358. "Vein" Hemorrhages,

359. These can be quite massive,

360. That could lead to death,

361. >> By hour 12, "the dangler" is

362. fading out of consciousness,

363. At 24 hours, the pressure level

364. of blood pooling in the brain

365. builds to a point of no return,

366. >> So this guy most likely died

367. from a series of strokes that

368. result from venous hemorrhages,

369. So his veins can't handle that

370. pressure,

371. They start to blow open,

372. As they blow open they impair

373. the ability of the blood to come

374. in and they cause strokes all

375. over certain areas of the brain,

376. Quite quickly, once the first

377. stroke started to happen or the

378. first hemorrhages in the eye,

379. things went downhill,

380. >> It's still a few days away

381. from the owner's Sunday joyride,

382. Until then, "the dangler's" just

383. going to have to hang out,

384. Fred Garfield, aka "laughy the

385. clown," is on his way to his

386. 1,523rd kiddie party,

387. He wishes more than anything it

388. was his last,

389. 15 years of hard clown time has

390. taken its toll on Fred,

391. It was time to wipe off the

392. makeup, take off the wig, and

393. pop off the nose forever,

394. The only worthwhile part of his

395. act involved a giant balloon he

396. called "Ally gator,"

397. But he just wanted to pull the

398. plug on the whole thing,

399. The only thing Fred really

400. Enjoyed was drinking himself

401. into a coma,

402. It was ironic he even became a

403. clown,

404. As a child, they scared the hell

405. out of him,

406. A condition called coulrophobia,

407. >> Probably most phobias are

408. formed somewhere along the way

409. when someone has a traumatic

410. experience of some kind and

411. they've simply started to

412. ruminate on it and magnify it in

413. their mind,

414. It could form the basis for...

415. You know, for a fear that grew

416. over time,

417. >> What happens next isn't

418. funny,

419. It's fatal,

420. Fred jerks to a stop,

421. The co2 tank used to inflate the

422. balloon slams into the back of

423. his car,

424. The valve opens and the balloon

425. begins to inflate,

426. Up front, Fred is finishing off

427. his flask of kiddie courage,

428. He's too drunk to notice the

429. growing threat behind,

430. Fred panics,

431. His arms pinned, unable to reach

432. the door handle,

433. Ally gator squeezes the life out

434. of the helpless clown,

435. >> If somebody was in a car with

436. a giant balloon,

437. They would have pressure on the

438. chest, which is basically not

439. allowing them expand the chest

440. to breathe,

441. >> A person can suffocate pretty

442. rapidly,

443. If they're deprived of oxygen

444. for over six to seven minutes,

445. they will lose consciousness and

446. their brain will start to die,

447. >> There's nothing more pathetic

448. than a drunken clown,

449. Except maybe a dead, drunken

450. clown,

451. At least for Fred, clown time is

452. over,

453. when we come back, a tv producer

454. captures a grisly scene of

455. carnage,

456. >> The freeways of mexico city

457. were the backdrop for a video

458. shoot featuring soap opera

459. heartthrobs on motorcycles,

460. But in front of three cameras,

461. the scene quickly became the

462. highway from hell,

463. It's one of the most gruesome

464. crashes ever caught on camera,

465. And a memory that still haunts

466. producer Sergio Mayer,

467. >> We knew that we had good

468. shots for that video and we were

469. just almost finished,

470. Just... I think it was gonna be

471. just five more minutes,

472. >> That decision proved costly,

473. One of the bikes stalls,

474. The other riders slow down,

475. Out of nowhere, a large sedan

476. comes speeding at the Troupe

477. from behind,

478. >> I remembered that I have a

479. Van at my left with the door

480. open with a camera and I was

481. talking to them when a car's

482. coming by at about 80 miles an

483. hour,

484. I hear that noise,

485. That noise that I'm never gonna,

486. uh, forget in my life,

487. And it feel like it was very

488. slow motion when it was

489. happening,

490. And I remembered that I saw a

491. bike passing by my side and goes

492. "Pow" and hit the Van,

493. My friends were at the floor

494. screaming,

495. And the bikes...

496. There were no bikes,

497. There were only pieces of bikes,

498. >> Sergio was the only member of

499. the group to come out of the

500. crash without a scratch,

501. One of his friends was not so

502. lucky,

503. >> The first ambulance arrived

504. and at the ambulance he was,

505. like, making his last, um,

506. breath,

507. And then he started...

508. He stopped to breathe,

509. >> In hindsight, Sergio feels

510. like an Angel was sent to him in

511. the form of a telephone call

512. from his son just before the

513. shoot,

514. >> He was five-Years old and he

515. called me and tell me, "you

516. can't leave without my bless,"

517. and I know that that bless...

518. God was with me,

519. uh, because I could be the one

520. that died that night,

521. >> The brush with death and the

522. ability to review the tape of it

523. from many angles, has altered

524. Sergio's outlook on life,

525. >> Nothing touched me,

526. The bikes, the bodies, the

527. wheels,

528. Nothing touched me,

529. Call it whatever you want,

530. But I know there is something

531. special and I know that I have

532. some special thing to do here,

533. ♪ ♪

534. >> it's original,