1. >> Did you know death is like a
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2. really bad cold?
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3. There's no known cure,
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4. That's bad news for the girl
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5. with the long, long legs,
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6. Or the guy who tried to
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7. recycle,
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8. >>
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9. >> himself,
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10. >> And the escaped prisoner who
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11. wound up beached and leeched,
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12. Then there's the guy with the
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13. snake up his Butt,
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14. And the fish story that'll leave
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15. you gagging,
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16. Take two aspirin and call me in
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17. the morning,
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18. It's the next episode of
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19. 1,000 ways to die,
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20. Death is everywhere,
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21. Most of us try to avoid it,
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22. others can't get out of its way,
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23. Every day we fight a new war
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24. against germs, toxins, injury,
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25. illness, and catastrophe,
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26. There's a lot of ways to wind up
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27. dead,
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28. The fact that we survive at all
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29. is a Miracle,
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30. Because every day we live, we
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31. face 1,000 ways to die,
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32. Tracy was getting ready for
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33. another honest Night's work,
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34. As a las vegas showgirl, her
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35. long, shapely legs were her meal
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36. ticket,
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37. Working all night and sleeping
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38. most of the day didn't leave
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39. much time for mundane tasks like
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40. shopping,
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41. >> Ow,
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42. Oh,
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43. >> When Tracy cut herself with
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44. an old, Rusty razor blade, her
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45. death clock started ticking,
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46. The blade that cut her skin had
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47. a nasty bacteria on it called
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48. group a strep,
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49. >> It's the same kind of
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50. bacteria, streptococcus, that
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51. causes a strep throat,
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52. But there are certain strains
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53. that have a particular toxin
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54. that makes them more prone to
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55. causing these necrotizing
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56. infections,
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57. >> A "necrotizing infection" is
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58. just a fancy way to say
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59. "flesh-Eating disease,"
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60. And a few days later, Tracy got
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61. a rude awakening,
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62. >> Oh, my god,
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63. Oh, my face!
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64. Holy crap,
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65. >> This particular bacteria can
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66. progress very quickly,
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67. It can happen over a matter of
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68. hours,
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69. You can go from being perfectly
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70. healthy to having a
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71. limb-Threatening or even
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72. life-Threatening infection,
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73. >> The bacteria traveled through
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74. her body and wound up breaking
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75. through a pimple, and eating its
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76. way across her face,
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77. By the time Tracy wound up in
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78. the hospital it was too late,
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79. The infection had spread
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80. throughout her body, causing
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81. septic shock,
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82. In a city that never sleeps,
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83. Tracy the leggy showgirl went
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84. lights out,
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85. Jake believed that any day now
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86. humanity would be wiped out in
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87. some cataclysmic event,
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88. He was determined to survive,
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89. come hell or high water,
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90. Living off the grid, alone and
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91. isolated, Jake spent every
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92. waking hour in a state of
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93. paranoia,
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94. He patrolled his land for any
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95. intruder who might threaten his
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96. space,
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97. It was a job that required
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98. constant vigilance,
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99. While draining the snake in his
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100. hand, Jake failed to see the one
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101. in the bush,
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102. Like a devil in disguise, a
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103. six-Foot speckled King Snake
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104. went straight for Jake's rifle,
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105. >> Snakes'll often find
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106. someplace warm to help heat
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107. their body up,
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108. And, uh, that way they can
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109. digest their food,
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110. Snakes don't make their own heat
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111. inside, so they need to get
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112. outside heat,
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113. >> The snake wrapped itself
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114. around the Butt of Jake's gun
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115. and through the trigger loop as
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116. Jake made sure not to let the
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117. last drops go down his pants,
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118. Those few extra Shakes would
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119. prove fateful,
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120. >> Uh!
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121. >> Maybe the snake got spooked
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122. by Jake and tensed up around the
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123. trigger,
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124. Maybe the snake was sent to
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125. deliver a message,
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126. But what's clear is the snake
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127. managed to pull the trigger
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128. right when the gun was pointed
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129. at Jake's heart,
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130. >> Snakes definitely like to
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131. kinda wiggle into tight places,
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132. and it may have just been
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133. wrapped around the, uh, trigger
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134. of the gun,
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135. >> The bullet blasted a
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136. four-Inch hole into Jake's
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137. breast bone, piercing his heart,
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138. Death was instantaneous,
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139. In the end, Jake successfully
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140. avoided the apocalypse by
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141. Permanently isolating himself
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142. from humanity,
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143. But he never learned that if the
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144. barbarians at the gate don't get
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145. ya, the snake in the grass will,
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146. Next up,
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147. Escaped female prisoner learns
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148. the hard way... Leeches suck,
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149. Then, a mentally challenged
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150. thief takes himself out with the
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151. trash,
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152. >> Carmen is a very bad girl,
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153. A notorious crystal meth dealer
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154. and convicted murderer, she was
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155. sent to a texas prison with no
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156. chance of parole,
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157. She decided to take her own
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158. chances, and busted out,
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159. If she could make it across the
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160. border into mexico, she'd be
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161. home free,
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162. But that was a long shot,
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163. And the prison guards chasing
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164. her were very good shots,
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165. With no place left to run, she
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166. hit the ice-Cold water,
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167. But without knowing it, Carmen
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168. had jumped out of the frying pan
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169. and into the fire... Straight into
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170. the clutches of a hidden enemy,
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171. >> Leeches,
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172. If you're... Like, for this
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173. prisoner who's running through
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174. the... the swamp, it's the perfect
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175. place,
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176. They're ambushers, they can
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177. smell and feel the body heat,
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178. and it's lunch,
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179. And they'll swim very fast and
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180. attach themselves almost
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181. immediately, and within three
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182. seconds they're drawing blood,
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183. >> The lake was a chilly 55
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184. degrees,
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185. A half an hour would send Carmen
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186. into a state of hypothermia,
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187. A minute turned to ten, while
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188. the sharpshooters carefully
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189. scanned the area,
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190. Carmen's breathing became quick
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191. and shallow,
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192. Her blood vessels constricted,
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193. and her limbs became numb,
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194. It was the perfect cover for the
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195. leeches, who are made to suck
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196. blood undetected,
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197. >> They have an anticoagulant in
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198. the saliva, and also a pain
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199. killer, so you don't feel them
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200. attaching, and you don't feel
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201. the blood flowing,
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202. So even when the Leech is full...
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203. I would say 10 to 15 to 20 ccs
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204. of blood, it falls off, you're
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205. still going to Leak another five
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206. to ten ccs of blood,
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207. They'll literally drain you out
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208. of blood,
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209. >> After 45 minutes, Carmen was
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210. finally able to crawl out of the
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211. water,
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212. Soon she'd be safe in Mexico,
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213. mixing up new batches of devil's
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214. brew... Methamphetamine,
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215. But Carmen's Karma is about to
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216. bite back,
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217. She's so drained of blood from
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218. the leeches feeding on her body,
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219. she's too weak to move,
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220. >> If she doesn't die from a
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221. lack of blood or loss of blood,
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222. she would die of exposure,
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223. Too weak,
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224. Couldn't even call for help
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225. eventually, she'd just die of
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226. exposure and she'd become a...
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227. Basically a blowfly picnic,
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228. wouldn't she?
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229. >> Griff's an urban
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230. Hunter-Gatherer,
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231. The kind who mostly gathers
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232. other peoples' stuff,
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233. Knowing the security guard is on
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234. his fourth coffee break, it was
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235. time for griff to strike,
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236. But even a rent-a-Cop can
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237. sometimes stumble onto a perp,
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238. >> Hey!
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239. >> Hey!
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240. Are you kidding me, man?
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241. C'mere!
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242. Hey!
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243. C'mere!
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244. >> Sometimes a desperate
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245. dumpster dive is the only way
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246. out,
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247. Hidden underneath yesterday's
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248. lunch, griff has once again
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249. eluded the man,
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250. But not the machine,
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251. While he was getting cozy with
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252. the cockroaches, fate turned his
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253. world upside-Down,
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254. >> Aah!
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255. Hey!
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256. Aah!
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257. >> Falling on his head has left
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258. griff groggy and disoriented,
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259. A second load pins him down,
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260. >>
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261. >>
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262. >> compactors create about
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263. 64,000 pounds or 32 tons of
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264. pressure to crunch and collapse,
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265. uh, debris,
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266. >>
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267. >> the first thing that happens
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268. is that you can't breathe
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269. because the external forces
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270. disallow expansion of the chest,
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271. >>
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272. >> once in the clutches of the
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273. compactor, griff's bones will
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274. start snapping one-By-One,
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275. Eventually his vital organs will
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276. burst from the severe pressure,
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277. >> Ostensibly there's
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278. disintegration of every known
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279. structure in the human body,
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280. >> Aah!
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281. >> If he's lucky, he'll have
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282. lost consciousness by then,
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283. >> By the time they finally
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284. discovered what was left of his
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285. body, it probably would just be
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286. mopped up with a sponge,
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287. >> There you go,
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288. A new way to reform a criminal,
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289. >> Come to mama!
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290. >> Coming up,
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291. a fish tale that's hard to
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292. swallow,
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293. >>
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294. >> and,
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295. >> what are you doing?
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296. >> An ex-Con sticks it where the
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297. sun don't shine, and doesn't
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298. live to regret it,
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299. >>
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300. >> what's the matter with you?
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301. >> Ah, the great outdoors,
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302. Where else can you enjoy a hot
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303. Chick and a pole without blowing
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304. your paycheck?
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305. Kathy is every outdoorsman's
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306. dream... a super sexy, pint-Sized
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307. Daisy Duke who digs fishing,
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308. Any guy would love to pull this
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309. Spinner out of their tackle box,
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310. >> Come to mama,
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311. >> The problem was Kathy was no
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312. angler,
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313. She couldn't even catch a cold,
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314. In all her days spent fishing,
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315. she had yet to catch a fish,
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316. So far, today was like all
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317. others,
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318. Cast after cast, the only thing
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319. she reeled in was frustration,
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320. >> What is this?
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321. >> Kathy's bad day took a turn
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322. for the better,
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323. It started with a nibble,
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324. >> Yes!
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325. >> The nibble turned into a
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326. bite,
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327. >> Come on,
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328. Oh, come on,
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329. Oh, come on,
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330. >> And finally, she had her
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331. first fish on the line,
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332. >> You're not getting away,
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333. Come to mama!
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334. >> She gave one last terrific
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335. pull, and her fish was on the
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336. hook and in the air,
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337. What happened next makes This
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338. fish tale one for the books,
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339. Kathy's fish came soaring out of
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340. the sky, into her wide-Open
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341. mouth,
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342. >>
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343. >> and lodged itself deep down
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344. her throat,
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345. The outside of a fish is
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346. composed of thousands of scales,
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347. which are like individual
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348. plates,
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349. On the outside of the plates are
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350. bony spines, which will dig into
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351. anything that grabs hold,
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352. >>
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353. >> the more she pulled, the more
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354. its scales dug into the walls of
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355. her throat,
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356. choking her to death,
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357. In the end, Kathy was the one
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358. that got away,
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359. >> Damn, baby, you're like the
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360. best thing I've seen in three
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361. years,
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362. >> I bet,
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363. >> Out on parole, with $200 to
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364. his name, Levinson was ready to
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365. live it up on his first night of
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366. freedom,
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367. So, like any sensible man Who
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368. knows where True happiness lies,
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369. he bought himself a bottle of
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370. Jack, rented himself a fancy
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371. suv, and got himself a Hooker,
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372. >> All I got is 50,
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373. >> Think of this as a Charity,
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374. >> All right,
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375. >> Lucky Levinson was about to
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376. receive a blue ball special,
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377. >> You're an Angel,
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378. Oh, I've been waiting three long
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379. years for this,
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380. >> Lost in the romance of the
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381. moment, Levinson didn't notice a
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382. cop car pulling up until he had
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383. already pulled his pants down,
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384. >>
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385. >> Oh, crap,
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386. Take this,
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387. >> What is that?
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388. >> It's Pepper spray,
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389. Take it,
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390. >> No!
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391. >> It's a parole violation,
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392. I go back for two years for
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393. this,
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394. >> What are you doing?
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395. >> Levinson had a can of Pepper
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396. spray in plain view on the
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397. console of his car,
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398. And in the panic to hide it, the
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399. ex-Con followed his instincts,
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400. and shoved the contraband into
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401. the first place he could think
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402. of,
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403. up his Keister,
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404. >> What's going on here?
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405. >> Nothing, Officer,
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406. Just me and my wife talking,
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407. >> Your wife?
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408. >> Yes, my wife,
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409. >> If that's your wife, I'm the
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410. emperor of China,
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411. >> Nice to meet you, emperor,
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412. >> Get outta the car,
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413. >> Got nothing better to do?
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414. >> Get outta the car,
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415. >> They say that when you get
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416. pulled over, your first
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417. impression dictates your odds of
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418. avoiding trouble,
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419. >> Exiting a vehicle with your
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420. pants around your ankles and a
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421. half-Pint of booze on your
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422. breath... Not a good start,
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423. >> Are you under the influence?
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424. >> A little bit,
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425. >> A little bit?
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426. >> A little bit!
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427. >> Hey!
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428. >> Aah!
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429. >> what's the matter?
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430. >> When the cop shoved Levinson
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431. against the truck, it set off a
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432. raging can of Pepper Spray
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433. inside his bunghole,
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434. >> Oh, my god, it hurts!
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435. >> What's going on?
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436. >> When someone has Pepper spray
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437. sprayed in their face, it
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438. typically is in an open
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439. environment,
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440. When Pepper spray will go off
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441. in, say, a closed Colon, there's
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442. nowhere for that Pepper to
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443. diffuse, so it's just constantly
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444. gonna be irritating that lining,
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445. causing more and more damage
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446. getting close to the lining,
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447. probably causing more severe
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448. damage than, say, if you sprayed
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449. it in someone's eyes or nose,
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450. >> The hell is wrong with this
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451. guy?
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452. >> You'll figure it out,
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453. I am so out of here,
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454. >> What's going on?
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455. What the hell's going on?
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456. >>
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457. >> crime doesn't pay, But the
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458. criminal does,
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459. For Levinson, first he put up,
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460. then he paid up,
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461. Up next,
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462. we all know that war sucks, but
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463. what happened to one unlucky
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464. navy man that really sucked?
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465. >> Throughout history, if you
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466. really wanted to tempt death,
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467. you went to war,
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468. In 1991, jd bridges was part of
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469. Desert storm in the
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470. persian gulf,
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471. >> I went into the navy two
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472. weeks after I graduated high
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473. school in June of '88,
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474. They told me that I was gonna be
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475. on the catapults and arresting
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476. gear on the flight deck of a
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477. Carrier,
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478. Stationed on the
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479. U, S, S, Roosevelt, jd became a
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480. member of the crew responsible
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481. for landing and launching all
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482. the aircraft on the massive
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483. flight deck,
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484. >> We launched a-6 intruders,
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485. f-14s, f-18s, s-3s, e-2s,
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486. we didn't have a day and a night
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487. crew; there was one crew,
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488. We didn't get but about two
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489. hours' sleep a day,
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490. >> To dominate the airspace over
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491. iraq, the rooseveltwas running
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492. missions 24/7,
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493. >> And we was launching alert
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494. aircraft just to always have
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495. planes in the air, and it was
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496. about 3:00 in the morning,
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497. everybody on the flight deck was
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498. tired and fatigued because we
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499. only had one ship,
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500. >> Preparing an a-6 intruder for
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501. takeoff, jd stepped too close to
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502. one of its engines,
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503. The air intake sucked him in
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504. like a rag doll,
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505. >> It was basically an "Oh,
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506. moment,
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507. I'm in big danger, but it...
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508. There's nothing you can do about
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509. it, as you can see,
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510. >> But jd was still inside the
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511. running jet engine,
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512. It ripped his helmet off and
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513. shot it through the combustion
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514. chamber,
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515. >> The force of the air rushing
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516. through the intake pulled the
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517. air outta my lungs so I couldn't
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518. breathe,
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519. They shut down the plane, and my
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520. air came back to me,
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521. I started breathing,
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522. I knew I had to get outta there,
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523. so I crawled out, and took about
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524. two steps and I blacked out and
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525. woke up in medical,
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526. >> Jd escaped death with
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527. amazingly moderate injuries,
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528. >> I had a broken collarbone,
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529. uh, I had to get ten stitches
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530. above my eye,
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531. I've got a couple little pieces
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532. of steel that got lodged into my
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533. body, but it's nothing major,
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534. >> Fate, luck, or Miracle?
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535. Jd Bridges is one serviceman who
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536. can count some major blessings,
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537. >> I guess it can be considered
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538. a Miracle for the simple fact I
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539. should've died and didn't, so
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540. therefore I-I think everybody
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541. has a purpose in life, and it
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542. just wasn't my time to go,
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543. I've got a purpose, and
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544. somewhere down the road I'll
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545. find it,
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