1000 Ways to Die 1x4

1. >> It's the 1,000 ways to die

2. trauma center,

3. Waiting for treatment, two

4. stooges who go cuckoo with

5. cocoa,

6. >>

7. >> a supermodel with an appetite

8. for self-Destruction,

9. A blue-Collar worker who sees

10. nothing but red,

11. >>

12. >> and a hot-Tubber who can't

13. take the heat,

14. The doctor will see you now,

15. Death is everywhere,

16. Most of us try to avoid it,

17. Others can't get out of its way,

18. every day we fight a new war

19. against germs, toxins, injury,

20. illness, and catastrophe,

21. There's a lot of ways to wind up

22. dead,

23. The fact that we survive at all

24. is a Miracle because every day

25. we live we face 1,000 ways to

26. die,

27. It's not hard to figure out how

28. this guy got his nickname,

29. >> it's the fast Lane, you

30. idiot!

31. >> Angry ed,

32. >> God!

33. >> a low, seething boil was his

34. relaxed state,

35. >>

36. >> there wasn't much that didn't

37. make ed see red,

38. At the tool shop where he

39. worked,

40. >>

41. >> ed's anger was a running

42. joke,

43. But to his Foreman, the joke

44. had run thin,

45. >> You're fired!

46. >> I think a person with that

47. much anger sometime is thinking

48. in terms of spite and revenge

49. and manipulation and how they

50. can get back at those people,

51. >> Getting fired turned ed into

52. a heat-Seeking anger missile,

53. His unsuspecting target,

54. the Foreman who was working

55. on a vat of hydrochloric acid,

56. End goes hand-to-Hand and winds

57. up taking a bath,

58. in a tub of hydrochloric acid,

59. >> If someone was to fall in

60. a vat of hydrochloric acid,

61. that person I'm sure went

62. through an EXCRUCIATINGLY

63. painful death because he was

64. suffering a total body burn

65. simultaneously,

66. >> The acid quickly Burns

67. through his skin, Fries his

68. eyeballs, and pours into his

69. wide-Open mouth,

70. >>

71. >> once inside the body,

72. ed's major organs are destroyed

73. within seconds,

74. >> He probably went to a level

75. of shock, if not just because

76. of the amount of pain he was

77. feeling But just because of

78. the sheer amount of fluid loss

79. and body damage that he was

80. suffering because of the acid,

81. >> This wasn't just ed's last

82. day of work,

83. >> You're fired!

84. >> His uncontrollable,

85. blood-Boiling rage made sure

86. this was angry ed's last day,

87. Period,

88. >>

89. >> nice legs,

90. They've been seen on fashion

91. runways all around the world,

92. The legs belong to Natasha,

93. and Natasha is a supermodel,

94. Right now Natasha is feeling

95. a little less than super...

96. Living out of a suitcase,

97. empty hotel rooms,

98. Her life of glamour is

99. a full-Time grind,

100. Worst of all is the constant

101. dieting,

102. >>

103. >> in her world, if you're not

104. thin you're out,

105. What's Natasha's secret?

106. She starves herself,

107. To make matters worse,

108. she's fallen into a pattern

109. of extremely destructive

110. behavior... Bulimia,

111. >> Room service,

112. >> Yes, room service?

113. >> Yes, this is room service,

114. What can we bring you?

115. >> Everything,

116. >> Bulimia's a neurologic and

117. psychiatric disease,

118. There's a lot of physiologic

119. consequences to doing that,

120. >> This has become a common

121. ritual for Natasha,

122. Each time it's a struggle

123. between love and Hate for food,

124. In the end, the compulsion to

125. binge always wins over,

126. By literally stuffing herself

127. with every kind of dish

128. imaginable, Natasha hopes that

129. the empty feeling will go away,

130. Because of her fear of becoming

131. overweight, Natasha's not

132. planning on digesting any of

133. this food,

134. >> A regular stomach holds about

135. 30 ounces,

136. At about 120 to 160 ounces,

137. your stomach has reached its

138. maximum capacity, and anything

139. further it's going to basically

140. explode,

141. >> Before Natasha could jam her

142. fingers down her throat to

143. induce vomiting, her pattern of

144. self-Abuse came to a sudden end,

145. >> You've got all of this food

146. being spilled into the body

147. cavity,

148. All of the bacteria that were

149. in the food are gonna start

150. multiplying and you're gonna

151. develop what's called

152. peritonitis,

153. And so a lot of times people

154. have heart attacks or go into

155. kidney failure, which will lead

156. to sepsis and shock and

157. ultimately death,

158. >> Natasha made her living off

159. her looks,

160. In the end, she wound up dying

161. for them,

162. >> That's hot,

163. >> Coming up,

164. a porn addict pops a big one,

165. And,

166. >> a big needle,

167. >> Oh, no, very normal size,

168. >> What happens when you get

169. a bad batch of botox?

170. >>

171. >> nothing good,

172. >> Phil Hardin is a stone-Cold

173. smut addict,

174. He lives it,

175. >>

176. >> he breathes it,

177. >> Oh, god,

178. >> He reads it,

179. He needs it,

180. >>

181. >> Phil's got it made,

182. His no-Skills job at the tire

183. shop allows him to work and

184. play at the same time,

185. >> What makes somebody a sex

186. addict is what makes somebody

187. a drug addict or an alcoholic

188. addict, they over-Consume,

189. It's more important than their

190. family,

191. It's more important than their

192. work,

193. They don't care if it destroys

194. their health,

195. It's all they think about

196. day and night,

197. >> Phil thought his porn

198. Obsession was harmless,

199. He wasn't hurting anyone,

200. And then one day he sat down

201. with the new issue of horndog

202. and a large truck tire,

203. His foot was up on the air hose,

204. but his mind was still down in

205. the gutter,

206. >>

207. >> I've often said that tires

208. are a ticking time bomb,

209. If you're not paying attention,

210. you're gonna have a problem,

211. It could be catastrophic,

212. It could kill you or certainly

213. "Main" you... Take out an eye,

214. break an arm, break your neck,

215. take a piece of your body,

216. >> It came down to this,

217. >>

218. >> Which would pop FIRST:

219. Phil or the tire?

220. >>

221. >> the tire and steel rim

222. exploded simultaneously,

223. launching heavy shrapnel into

224. Phil's forehead from less than

225. a yard away,

226. >> Just the Blunt force of

227. a large piece of tire hitting

228. him in the head could cause

229. a contusion that's strong enough

230. to cause a traumatic brain

231. injury,

232. He had actually pieces that

233. went through his skull lodged

234. in his skull and damaged his

235. brain directly, which in and of

236. itself can cause neurogenic

237. Shock which can cause someone

238. to die as well,

239. >> You know what they say,

240. Porno is bad for you,

241. >>

242. >> it'll rot your brain,

243. >> I'm a little nervous; I'm

244. gonna have a glass of wine,

245. >> Remember when Doctors Made

246. house calls?

247. Neither do we,

248. >> Never had anything like this

249. done before,

250. >> Totally okay,

251. >> Okay,

252. >> The only reason Debbie got

253. this guy to drop by was, 1, he's

254. not really a doctor, and 2, she

255. was desperate,

256. >> That's, uh... a big needle,

257. >> Her problem: Wrinkles,

258. Dr, Quack here had the cure,

259. Botox,

260. >> Botox is actually botulinum

261. toxin,

262. It causes paralysis,

263. What they do is they inject this

264. toxin into certain areas of your

265. face, or wherever you want it to

266. be, to get rid of wrinkles,

267. And the way that it does that is

268. it paralyzes that muscle,

269. That muscle can no longer

270. contract, and the wrinkle is

271. gone,

272. >>

273. >> the fake physician made a

274. good living off insecure

275. 40-Somethings, dispensing black

276. Market botox injections,

277. >> Don't move,

278. >> It wasn't brain surgery, and

279. they always paid cash,

280. Debbie didn't know it, but she

281. just signed her death

282. certificate,

283. >> Okay,

284. >> Sorry,

285. Thank you,

286. >> The pretend doctor Had gotten

287. his hands on a really bad batch

288. of botox,

289. He just pumped pure botulism

290. poison right into her head,

291. >> Ahh,

292. This does not feel right,

293. >> The pain and Numbness started

294. spreading from her head

295. throughout her body,

296. Debbie thought a dip in the hot

297. tub might calm her down,

298. >> If you do not go to someone

299. that knows what they're doing

300. and this toxin gets somewhere it

301. should not get to... the nerve,

302. for example, your face becomes

303. paralyzed, and you look like

304. you've had a stroke,

305. >>

306. >> if it gets into your arteries

307. or into your veins, that toxin

308. is now circulating in your body

309. and getting into your lungs,

310. into your heart,

311. Cause... It can cause paralysis

312. there, so essentially you stop

313. breathing, your heart stops

314. beating, and you end up dead

315. from botox,

316. >> Debbie was helpless,

317. Her body was completely

318. paralyzed by the spreading

319. toxin,

320. In a frozen panic, she slipped

321. under the water's surface and

322. drowned,

323. At her funeral her friends all

324. said she never looked better,

325. Up next,

326. >>

327. >> two morons go cuckoo for

328. cocoa,

329. >>

330. >> and wind up in the sweet

331. hereafter,

332. And when this m, D, Says "Bend

333. over," he's talking to his

334. nurse,

335. >> I'm ready for my own

336. examination,

337. >> Is that right?

338. >> If ignorance is Bliss, then

339. Carl and Lenny here are ready

340. for nirvana,

341. >> the best way to describe

342. them... Happy-Go-Lucky nitwits,

343. The half a brain they shared was

344. the right amount for their job

345. as minimum WAGE kitchen aides,

346. If you're this stupid, it's like

347. being in the carpool Lane on the

348. death highway,

349. >>

350. >> Carl and Lenny are making

351. good time,

352. A couple of sacks of cocoa

353. powder and the race is on,

354. >>

355. >> the two idiots pound and pelt

356. each other with wild abandon,

357. If Carl and Lenny were a little

358. less stupid, they might've

359. stopped once they realized they

360. were gradually suffocating from

361. the cocoa-Charged atmosphere,

362. that their lungs had something

363. called alveoli... Tiny Air sacs...

364. And that they were filling up

365. with a fine powder, making

366. breathing impossible,

367. If they were just slightly less

368. stupid, they might've realized

369. they weren't having fun,

370. >>

371. >> they were dying,

372. >> So, this is another one of

373. those beautiful, classic

374. examples of social darwinism,

375. If you just happen to have the

376. right lack of common sense and

377. the right combination of genes,

378. you might actually end up in a

379. situation where, um, you have...

380. It's dead by chocolate,

381. >> Carl and Lenny,

382. Stupid is as stupid dies,

383. >> What is it about hospitals?

384. Don't you get the feeling as

385. soon as you walk in... Someone

386. somewhere is having sex?

387. >> Well, what're we gonna be

388. examining today?

389. >> Oh, all this,

390. >> That's because it's True,

391. Take dr, Montagno, here,

392. >> Do we have an increased heart

393. rate?

394. >> He and his bombshell nurse go

395. at it all day long,

396. Interrupted every now and then

397. by an annoying patient,

398. >> Dr,

399. Montagno, your next patient is

400. ready,

401. >> Oh, not the first time,

402. >> Just turn your head towards

403. me,

404. >> This way?

405. >> Mr, O'Brien is here for a

406. brain x-Ray,

407. >> Okay, is this gonna hurt?

408. >> Not at all,

409. It's just gonna take a moment,

410. I'll be right back, okay?

411. >> Okay, sure,

412. >> But even that hardly slows

413. down our oversexed healthcare

414. professionals,

415. >> What the...?

416. Can... Can you guys see me?

417. Huh,

418. >> As peepshows go, this was a

419. good one,

420. >> Well, this certainly looks

421. like a fun place to work,

422. Oh, yeah,

423. >> Mr, O'Brien was getting

424. turned on,

425. >> Oh, yeah... Oh, pick her up,

426. pick her up,

427. Spin around, baby... All righty,

428. >> The problem was so was the

429. x-Ray machine,

430. Nurse bombshell's magnificent

431. rear End was accidentally

432. rear-ending the on button,

433. >>

434. >> constant bombardment by

435. x-Rays is a bad thing to do to

436. someone's brain,

437. Very bad,

438. For the next 20 minutes, Mr,

439. O'Brien's brain is like an egg

440. in a diner,

441. Fried,

442. >> If somebody is exposed to

443. constant radiation for 20-30

444. minutes, if you extrapolate that

445. to a lifetime dose, that would

446. be two lifetimes worth of

447. radiation, which would be well

448. into the radiation levels

449. experienced by people exposed to

450. radiation at hiroshima,

451. >> Dr, Montagno and his nurse

452. have no idea they're cooking a

453. patient,

454. , until it's too late,

455. >> Oh, my gosh,

456. >> Oh, my god, oh, my god,

457. Oh!

458. >> I think he's... We gotta get

459. some help,

460. We gotta go,

461. >> Our advice: Stay out of

462. hospitals,

463. Unless you're horny,

464. Coming up,

465. a stock car race goes to hell

466. for the drivers,

467. >> Stock car racer Mike Easley

468. was just two laps into a 150-Lap

469. event when a racer's worst

470. nightmare took place,

471. Impact and fire,

472. >> I see smoke up ahead of me,

473. I got on the brakes, and my

474. spotter, which was my wife and

475. my daughter, both said Wreck

476. turn one,

477. >> Traveling at close to 100

478. miles per hour, the two cars in

479. front of Mike collided,

480. puncturing gas tanks and

481. spraying fuel everywhere,

482. In a few short seconds, Mike is

483. engulfed in flames,

484. The track crew responds, but

485. only with hand-Held fire

486. extinguishers, which are not

487. enough against the growing wall

488. of fire,

489. While the horrified crowd looks

490. on, racer Mike Easley emerges

491. from the fiery hell a human

492. fireball,

493. The emergency worker Empties out

494. his fire extinguisher, But Mike

495. continues to burn,

496. Mike tries rolling on the ground

497. to put out the flames, but winds

498. up dousing himself in more

499. high-Octane racing fuel,

500. >> I couldn't believe that

501. nobody'd put me out,

502. I opened my eyes, I looked

503. around, and people were still

504. running from me,

505. I took a breath, dropped to my

506. knees, and basically kissed her

507. goodbye,

508. >> At this point, Mike's been on

509. fire for 45 long seconds,

510. His fire suit is designed to

511. handle only 20,

512. The crew returns with a second

513. round of fire extinguishers,

514. After a minute and a half, 90

515. scorching seconds of being

516. covered head to toe in flames,

517. Mike's fire is finally

518. extinguished,

519. To the astonishment of everyone,

520. Mike is still alive,

521. Mike had third-Degree burns over

522. 45% of his body,

523. He was alive, but he wasn't done

524. with death just yet,

525. >> I died twice in the ambulance

526. going to... to Madigan hospital,

527. I died one more time at harbor

528. view,

529. I was given the paddles three

530. times,

531. My heart stopped,

532. >> Not many people get to die

533. three times and then live to

534. talk about it,

535. >> It's my philosophy on life

536. that dying is easy, living's the

537. hard part,