1000 Ways to Die 1x10

1. >>

2. >> Well, you laughed in the face

3. of death, and now you've made it

4. to the last show of the season,

5. Congratulations,

6. Here's your reward,

7. A cliff Jumper who goes down,

8. but has a problem with what

9. goes up,

10. A japanese man Who bows down and

11. winds up getting some head,

12. A death row inmate who won't

13. stay for his own execution,

14. And a sex-Obsessed psycho who's

15. all hot,

16. >>

17. >> you still laughing?

18. Good,

19. It's the next episode of

20. 1,000 ways to die,

21. ♪ ♪

22. death is everywhere,

23. Most of us try to avoid it,

24. others can't get out of its way,

25. Every day, we fight a new war

26. against germs, toxins, injury,

27. illness, and catastrophe,

28. There's a lot of ways to wind up

29. dead,

30. The fact that we survive at all

31. is a Miracle,

32. Because every day we live,

33. we face 1,000 ways to die,

34. Last year, over 3,000 people

35. died by drowning,

36. Only one managed to do it like

37. this,

38. It started the way a lot of

39. accidental deaths do...

40. A combination of alcohol;

41. college kids; and the prospect

42. of wild, naked sex,

43. The reservoir was a legendary

44. college hangout famous for the

45. cliff, and only the bravest took

46. the leap,

47. >> Lots of people in our society

48. who don't do anything else than

49. risk-taking,

50. They are professional risk

51. takers, but those people,

52. they're going to be, um, very

53. thoughtful about the risk they

54. take,

55. >> The combination of beer and

56. booty had Patrick staring down

57. at the water 60 feet below,

58. >> It's the people who take

59. those risks, but then don't pay

60. heed to warning signs... Those are

61. the people who end up in the

62. obituary column of social

63. darwinism,

64. >> Whoa!

65. >> In What would later be

66. reported as a freak accident,

67. Patrick hit the surface at 30

68. miles an hour, at the perfect

69. angle for a powerful jet of

70. water to shoot up his rectum and

71. blow out his large intestine,

72. Massive internal bleeding caused

73. him to pass out and drown,

74. >> Oh, my god, I think he's

75. floating, guys,

76. >> Now, if this guy had so much

77. force built up in his Colon from

78. all that water, probably ripped

79. his Colon apart,

80. The Colon is very vascular

81. tissue,

82. There's a lot of arteries that

83. supply it,

84. He probably died of acute blood

85. loss from all of the blood being

86. spewed into the perineal cavity,

87. >> If these kids had less

88. alcohol and more blood in their

89. brains, one of them might not've

90. wound up like this,

91. >> Both:

92. >> Everyone loves a good laugh,

93. No one more than Chuck,

94. >>

95. >> Chuck would spend a good part

96. of each day sitting in his

97. favorite bar, laughing,

98. Chuck was obsessed with jokes,

99. Good ones, bad ones, and any

100. in-Between,

101. >> Which one do you wanna be,

102. the husband or the wife?

103. >>

104. >> he couldn't tell a joke to

105. save his life, but he could

106. laugh at one like no other,

107. On this particular day, Chuck

108. was told a joke that triggered

109. an epic laughing binge,

110. >> We all have the experience

111. when we laugh long and hard how

112. we have to gasp afterwards,

113. We're contracting forcefully

114. when we laugh,

115. We're sort of making a prolonged

116. series of maneuvers that're

117. sorta like grunting, when we

118. strain and grunt, um, and that

119. can affect things,

120. You hear about some people that

121. actually wet their pants When

122. they laugh,

123. >> No one knows what the joke

124. was, but Chuck laughed, and he

125. laughed, and he laughed,

126. He laughed until he left, and

127. when he came back the next

128. night, he was still laughing,

129. >>

130. Chuck laughed for 36 straight

131. hours,

132. What started out as fun was now

133. torture,

134. Chuck was trapped in his own

135. endless laugh track,

136. Laughing this long and this hard

137. was putting a tremendous strain

138. on Chuck's heart,

139. >> Laughing for an extended

140. period of time alters how we

141. breathe, so you increase the

142. workload of the heart, you

143. increase the amount of energy

144. you're putting into breathing,

145. and so you start to increase the

146. amount of work your body's doing

147. in general,

148. The medical term is a valsalva,

149. To take a deep breath in, close

150. our windpipe, strain, and then

151. let it out,

152. That does increase the work in

153. the heart, and if you were to do

154. that for 36 hours, that could

155. lead to heart attack or heart

156. failure,

157. >>

158. >> Finally, Chuck's overworked

159. heart seized up,

160. In the end, Chuck got the last

161. laugh, and it killed him,

162. >>

163. >>

164. >> coming up,

165. in japan, bowing isn't just a

166. courtesy, it's deadly,

167. And,

168. >> Hello, suckers!

169. >> Death row from the front row

170. can scare you,

171. to death,

172. >>

173. >> This is yoshi Nakamura,

174. If he seems nervous, that's

175. because he is,

176. Yoshi has a very important job

177. interview,

178. That's why he's making such a

179. spectacle of himself,

180. He's practicing his bow and what

181. he will say when he meets a

182. certain Mr, Saichi Tanaka, an

183. executive at a large auto parts

184. factory,

185. >> Usually, um, average, 200-300

186. times a day, people bow,

187. There are three different way of

188. bowing,

189. >> Yoshi doesn't know it, but

190. the person he's here to meet,

191. Mr, Tanaka, is already sizing up

192. the crazy man over there talking

193. to himself,

194. >> Neck is the most vulnerable

195. part of the body, and in

196. presenting neck part to opposite

197. person is present all my body

198. vulnerable to you to show my

199. respect,

200. >> They say you never get a

201. second chance to make a first

202. impression,

203. If that's True, yoshi's screwed,

204. But poor yoshi has a bigger

205. problem than unemployment,

206. Inside his head is a ticking

207. time bomb,

208. An aneurysm had formed DEEP

209. inside his brain,

210. >> Sudden contact and then

211. deceleration caused the aneurysm

212. to blow open,

213. They're fragile,

214. They're not normal vessels,

215. they're weaker, and when that

216. aneurysm blows open, the blood

217. pressure drives the blood out at

218. quite a rapid rate, filling the

219. closed volume of the skull and

220. squishing brain,

221. >> Many people live their whole

222. lives with an ANEURYSM without

223. ever finding out,

224. Yoshi found out about his the

225. hard way,

226. >> You usually pass out, and

227. then it gets worse from there as

228. the aneurysm expands and really

229. squashes Normal brain next to

230. it,

231. >> Your typical japanese

232. businessman bows 300 times a

233. day,

234. On this day, yoshi bowed out,

235. >>

236. Hello, suckers!

237. >> It was a special day for the

238. man behind the blinds,

239. His name was Scott Randall, and

240. this was the day he was

241. scheduled to die by lethal

242. injection,

243. >> Ooh,

244. >> Randall was bad to the bone,

245. Three people died by his hand,

246. and you don't want to know how,

247. >> What're you doin', skippy?

248. >> The families of his victims

249. were there to make sure he got

250. what was coming,

251. A two-Bit actor when he wasn't

252. killing anyone, Randall relished

253. his final role,

254. >> Slip the juice to me, Bruce,

255. >> A lethal injection involves a

256. number of drugs,

257. The first, sodium pentothal, is

258. supposed to knock the inmate

259. out, and then potassium chloride

260. finishes him off,

261. >> Here comes death,

262. >> But there was a hitch,

263. >> Nothing,

264. I don't feel a thing,

265. NOTHIN'!

266. >> even with enough drugs in his

267. system to drop a rhino,

268. Randall's heart didn't skip a

269. beat,

270. >> Nada,

271. >> I think that this guy wasn't

272. superman, and that the reason

273. that he stayed alive was because

274. the tourniquet was too tight on

275. his arm, and the drug wasn't

276. able to flow past the injection

277. site to his heart, where it was

278. supposed to go,

279. >> The authorities were

280. mystified,

281. >>

282. >> Please, sir, may I have more?

283. >> Then an order came in,

284. >> release him,

285. >> Scott Randall, convicted

286. murderer and lifetime scum, had

287. a new lease on life,

288. >> Nothin' to it,

289. You couldn't kill me,

290. You couldn't kill me!

291. Son of a bitches!

292. >> but in the middle of his

293. fury, Randall went down,

294. And then out,

295. Once unstrapped, the drugs found

296. the one thing most Swore Randall

297. never had... a heart... And finished

298. him off,

299. >> When you deliver drug, you

300. always take the tourniquet off,

301. Otherwise there is no drainage

302. of the compound into the central

303. circulation,

304. It was just sitting in his arm,

305. >> It's hard to justify one

306. death with another, but a creep

307. like Scott Randall,

308. he deserved to die,

309. >> What do you think you are

310. doing?

311. >> When we return,

312. >> waah,

313. >> For one thief, drinking and

314. robbing doesn't go down too

315. well,

316. And an unstable pervert has a

317. heart on, the table,

318. >> zach Taylor had Just finished

319. his liquid breakfast, and was

320. ready to pick up some lunch,

321. Zach was always angry life

322. didn't recognize his True

323. genius, but he was just another

324. drunk who paid for his booze

325. with his grandmother's stolen

326. social security checks,

327. >> Hello, sir, how are you

328. today?

329. >>

330. >> when we are suffering from

331. alcoholism, something happens to

332. our brains,

333. You don't behave like yourself,

334. That's right where addiction

335. lays, and you just do whatever

336. you have to do to survive,

337. That's what this guy was doing,

338. >> If life wasn't going to

339. reward this angry, drunken

340. loser, he'd just go ahead and

341. take it all himself,

342. >> Hey!

343. What do you think you are doing?

344. Get out of my place now!

345. Hey, stop that!

346. What are you doing?

347. Come on, go!

348. Get out!

349. Get out, you freak!

350. >> The liquid lunch will have to

351. wait, but zach's not leaving

352. without a snack,

353. >> Waah,

354. >> Zach's anger finally got the

355. best of him,

356. He made it out the door, hot dog

357. in mouth, but dropped to the

358. ground, dead,

359. >> Invariably, this guy

360. aspirated this... This large hot

361. dog, which is about the perfect

362. size to lodge right into your

363. main stem bronchus,

364. Um, this isn't a tough case,

365. Couldn't ventilate, couldn't

366. oxygenate, and he hit the floor,

367. From hot dog aspiration,

368. >> I'm very upset,

369. This is very upsetting,

370. I mean, I run a good store...

371. >> Sir, please calm down,

372. Just tell me what happened,

373. >> As I told you, he appeared to

374. be extremely drunk,

375. >> There's a reason your mother

376. told you never to eat and run,

377. You might choke on your own

378. Weiner,

379. We've enjoyed stories of deaths

380. that were stupid or incredible,

381. but what you're about to see

382. will make you question,

383. what kind of beast is man?

384. Lucas wasn't exactly a lady's

385. man,

386. In fact, he never even dated

387. one,

388. Isolated, lonely, this

389. schizophrenic desert Rat was

390. traveling down a dark path

391. leading to psychopathic,

392. sexually deviant behavior,

393. In a smutty magazine, Lucas had

394. learned how to rig a cow heart

395. to a car battery, and then use

396. it as a sex toy,

397. He brought home his New date

398. from a local slaughterhouse,

399. The table was set... a fresh cow

400. heart he named Bessie, a fresh

401. battery, and a throbbing stiffy,

402. Lucas was ready for love,

403. >> This is beyond a fetish, this

404. is... Like you said, it's beyond

405. bestiality, it's beyond

406. zoophilia,

407. It makes me think of somebody

408. who, you know, rapes and murders

409. and, uh, does it simultaneously,

410. And that this person could

411. conceivably been headed into

412. some really, really chilling

413. waters, had he not died the way

414. he did,

415. >> Lucas was turned on by the

416. fluttering action created by the

417. 12-Volt current flowing from the

418. battery into the cow heart, but

419. it wasn't getting him where he

420. needed to go,

421. He reasoned that if 12 felt

422. good, then 110 VOLTS would feel

423. about ten times better,

424. When Lucas completed an

425. electrical circuit from the wall

426. socket into the heart, he knew

427. he was on to something,

428. Bessie was all charged up and

429. pumping ferociously,

430. All that was left was to screw

431. his "heart-On" into Bessie's

432. socket,

433. >> But as soon as the two lovers

434. connected, Lucas went straight

435. to premature electrocution,

436. Bessie kept right on beating,

437. but Lucas's heart went from on

438. to off,

439. >> I think here we have an

440. incompatibility with modern life

441. the way we understand it and the

442. way we value it on so many

443. different levels, on so many

444. fundamental levels, that if you

445. were to put this person in a

446. different time period, he would

447. always stand out,

448. It goes beyond social darwinism,

449. it's... It's... It's darwinism to

450. the extreme,

451. >> Is there a lesson to be

452. learned from this tale of broken

453. hearts?

454. When you go looking for love in

455. all the wrong places, make sure

456. you're well-Grounded,

457. >> up next, a deadly cobra sends

458. a bite victim down a dark hole,

459. >> I'm bit,

460. We gotta go to the hospital,

461. >> It should've been just a

462. typical day at David weathers's

463. snake farm,

464. A wild animal and reptile

465. handler by trade, David is

466. well-Versed at wrangling some of

467. the most deadly creatures on

468. earth,

469. Today, it's a monacle cobra, one

470. of the most poisonous snakes in

471. the world,

472. But no matter How good or safe

473. one is,

474. >> careful, man,

475. >> Sooner or later, death is

476. going to bite you,

477. Did you blink?

478. When tossing the snake back in

479. its box, the cobra lunges at

480. David,

481. Within a fraction of a second,

482. it's over,

483. >> Oh, boy,

484. >> I'm bit,

485. We gotta go to the hospital,

486. ,

487. all of a sudden, bam, I get bit,

488. Immediately I knew I was bit

489. bad, so I was like, all right,

490. we gotta get to the hospital,

491. >> One drop is all that's needed

492. to kill a human in 60 minutes,

493. And five of those minutes have

494. already expired for David,

495. And as an EXPERIENCED snake

496. handler, David knows Well that

497. his life is hanging by a thread,

498. >> Get me there quick, 'cause

499. I'm having problems breathing,

500. >> I can't wait for the

501. ambulance, I'm too far out here

502. in the middle of nowhere,

503. Albert said more than likely

504. it's gonna cause paralysis

505. inside of an hour, and I'll be

506. at respiratory failure inside of

507. an hour,

508. >> Every second feels like

509. minutes,

510. Every minute feels like hours,

511. >> I got this big, black spot

512. starting to grow within five

513. minutes, and it feels like a

514. knife's jabbing me,

515. I try not to, like, think of how

516. bad it was,

517. >> It's been only ten minutes,

518. and already the cobra bite is

519. growing, beginning to eat a

520. half-Dollar-Sized hole in his

521. stomach,

522. >> As we're going, it's like,

523. all right, now the traffic's

524. coming, it's 8:00 at night, I'm

525. like, all right, there's too

526. many cars,

527. I'm like, forget the red lights,

528. Don't stop,

529. Red lights do not exist when

530. you're dying from cobra bites,

531. >> 27 minutes after the bite,

532. David makes it to the hospital,

533. Dizzy, nauseous, and with his

534. kidneys failing, David fights to

535. stay conscious as he waits for

536. the antivenom to be flown in

537. from over 200 miles away,

538. >> I'm dead,

539. I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead,

540. I got... All these things are

541. going through my head, and

542. finally after the antivenom got

543. there, and these guys stood by

544. my side, like, up until I was

545. showing recovery signs,

546. >> David held off death that

547. night, But his painful recovery

548. took months, and taught him new

549. respect for the mighty cobra,

550. >> I know that I don't ever

551. wanna relive anything like that

552. ever again,