Twin Peaks 2x2

1. Buddhist tradition first came to the land of snow

2. in the 5th century A.D.

3. The first Tibetan king to be touched by the dharma

4. was King Hathatha Rignamputsan.

5. He and succeeding kings were collectively known

6. as the Happy Generations.

7. Now, some historians place them in a Water Snake year, 21 3 A.D.

8. Others in the year of a Water Ox, 1 73 A.D.

9. Amazing, isn't it? The Happy Generations.

10. Agent Cooper, l am thrilled to pieces that the dharma came

11. to King Ho-Ho-Ho, l really am,

12. but l'm trying to focus on the more immediate problems

13. of our own century here in Twin Peaks.

14. Albert, you'd be surprised at the connection between the two.

15. Color me amazed.

16. Ronette Pulaski has woken from her coma.

17. And?

18. l'm thinking she's gonna have quite a story to tell,

19. - when she regains the ability to speak. - So she's not talking?

20. Waking but silent, probably shock.

21. l'm gonna show her the sketches of Leo Johnson and Bob,

22. the man Sarah Palmer saw in her vision.

23. The man who came to me in my dream.

24. Has anyone seen Bob on Earth in the last few weeks?

25. No, not yet.

26. Okay. l performed the autopsy on Jacques Renault.

27. Stomach contents revealed--

28. Let's see. --beer cans, a Maryland license plate,

29. half a bicycle tire, a goat and a small wooden puppet,

30. goes by the name of Pinocchio.

31. You're making a joke.

32. l like to think of myself as one of the Happy Generations.

33. And by the way, the fat boy wasn't strangled.

34. Killer snuffed him with a pillow. He was wearing gloves,

35. tape used to bind his wrists was stolen

36. from the hospital supply closet. That is it.

37. lf Jacques has any secrets he'll be taking them underground.

38. - What about the mill? - Well, preliminary suggests arson.

39. l nominate Leo Johnson.

40. We'll have to get a statement from Shelly Johnson.

41. Hospital says she's well enough.

42. How do you feel?

43. - Me? - l believe it's customary to ask

44. after the health of one recently plugged three times.

45. Thanks for asking.

46. - Don't get sentimental. - Who shot me, Albert?

47. My men are interrogating the hotel guests,

48. the usual bumper crop of rural know-nothings

49. and drunken fly fishermen. Nothing so far.

50. The world's most decrepit room service waiter

51. remembers nothing out of the ordinary about the night.

52. No surprise there.

53. Senor Droolcup has, shall we say, a mind that wanders.

54. Albert, my ring is gone.

55. One day here, the next day gone.

56. So?

57. l'm glad you're with us, Albert. We need the very best.

58. Dedication to duty wasn't the only thing that brought me back here, Cooper.

59. - What else? - Windom Earle.

60. Agent Earle?

61. He's retired.

62. To a nice comfy chair complete with wrist restraints

63. at the local laughing academy.

64. What happened?

65. Nobody knows.

66. Your former partner flew the coop, Coop.

67. He escaped. Vanished into thin air.

68. That's not good.

69. Hello?

70. Mrs. Tremond? Meals on Wheels.

71. Hello?

72. Enter.

73. Mrs. Tremond?

74. Can l put your meal here?

75. Yes, that's fine.

76. Miss?

77. Oh, hi.

78. Sometimes things can happen just like this:

79. Creamed corn.

80. Do you see creamed corn on that plate?

81. Yes.

82. l requested no creamed corn.

83. Do you see creamed corn on that plate?

84. No.

85. My grandson is studying magic.

86. That's nice.

87. Who are you?

88. l'm taking over Laura Palmer's place on the Meals on Wheels.

89. She's dead.

90. Did you know her well?

91. No.

92. Okay, Mrs. Tremond.

93. l'll be back tomorrow to pick this up and to bring your lunch.

94. They used to bring me hospital food.

95. lmagine that.

96. Young lady?

97. You might ask Mr. Smith next door.

98. He was Laura's friend.

99. Mr. Smith does not leave his house.

100. Hello?

101. She seemed like a very nice girl.

102. Thanks, Harry.

103. Ronette?

104. l can't get this thing to work.

105. Excuse us, Ronette.

106. ''Stop.

107. Read operating instructions beneath seat before using.

108. Can't stand next to chair or stool.

109. Do not remain seated.

110. Place foot on base

111. and pull seat all the way up

112. until you hear a click.''

113. Sorry, Ronette.

114. Ronette,

115. can you hear me?

116. Okay.

117. l'm glad you're feeling better.

118. l don't want to upset you, but we need your help.

119. l'm gonna show you some sketches.

120. We need to know if you've seen these men before.

121. We need to know if these are the men that hurt you, okay?

122. Do you recognize this man?

123. ls this the man that hurt you?

124. Ronette.

125. Train. Train.

126. - Ronette? - Tr-- Train, train.

127. - Nurse. Right away. - Train?

128. - Train? - Tra--

129. Are you in the train car? Train car?

130. Train, train, train!

131. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Train!

132. Okay, okay. Stay calm.

133. Train, train.

134. Brother Ben, we've got two ledgers

135. and one smoked cheese pig.

136. Which one do we burn?

137. And it ain't gonna be my pig.

138. The real ledger shows the mill slowly seeking into bankruptcy,

139. masterminded by Catherine.

140. The one she faked, for public consumption,

141. shows the mill turning a healthy profit.

142. So which one do we burn?

143. Catherine's dead,

144. we put all of our money on Josie,

145. Catherine takes the fall for the fire,

146. Josie pockets the insurance money,

147. sells us the mill and the land and-- No, wait a minute.

148. First she has to get dear Pete to sign on the dotted line.

149. Why does Pete have to sign?

150. Andrew's will calls for Catherine or her heirs to approve of any sale.

151. So which one do we burn?

152. Once Josie sells us the mill,

153. we could get a better price if it appears to be more profitable.

154. So we burn the real one.

155. On the other hand,

156. the real one would hold up under any future scrutiny.

157. Depending upon how one looks at the situation, it appears...

158. ...they both have merit.

159. l know.

160. Maybe we should burn both of them.

161. lt looks like we are 1 00 percent certain that we're not sure.

162. Jer, obviously something requires burning.

163. And since we don't wanna set fire to your smoked cheese pig,

164. why don't we...

165. ...try these?

166. Marshmallows!

167. Ben, where are those hickory sticks?

168. Margaret, it's always very nice to see you.

169. But if you're gonna spit your sticky pitch gum out in the diner,

170. please use an ashtray,

171. and not the counter or the booth like you did last time?

172. l'll have a bear claw.

173. You wear shiny objects on your chest.

174. Yes, l do.

175. Are you proud?

176. No, achievement is its own reward. Pride obscures it.

177. Cream?

178. My log has something to tell you.

179. Do you know it?

180. l don't believe we've been introduced.

181. l do not introduce the log.

182. Can you hear it?

183. No, ma'am, l cannot.

184. l will translate.

185. Deliver the message.

186. Do you understand?

187. Yes, ma'am. As a matter of fact l do.

188. No messages, Deputy Brennan.

189. Listen to me, Lucy Moran. You just listen.

190. When the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors,

191. naturally l applied.

192. lt's my civic duty, and l like whales.

193. A routine physical examination revealed that l'm sterile.

194. Sure, l thought it meant l didn't have to take a bath,

195. but the doctors told me the truth.

196. They told me l can't have babies.

197. So, what l wanna know now is why you're having one and how?

198. Hello, Hank.

199. l bet Lucy asked you to wait outside, huh?

200. Might've.

201. You know, that's an awfully cute buck, Harry.

202. Let's not waste our time.

203. Okay.

204. Why don't you...

205. ...just sign in like a good boy?

206. Keep your nose clean for another week.

207. lt's really nice to see you again.

208. lnteresting piece of work.

209. How long were you and Hank friends?

210. We grew up together.

211. Hank used to be a Bookhouse Boy.

212. Back then...

213. ...Hank was one of the best of us.

214. Sheriff Truman, I have Ben Horne on the phone for you.

215. Would you like me to transfer him to you?

216. Well, not him but his phone call?

217. Put him on, Lucy.

218. Mr. Horne, this is Lucy.

219. I'm gonna transfer you now into Sheriff Truman's office.

220. He's in there with SpeciaI Agent DaIe Cooper.

221. Okay, so hold on.

222. Sheriff Truman, l've transferred Ben Horne to you.

223. It's the Iine with the Iight that's bIinking.

224. - Yes, Ben. - Harry...

225. ...Audrey's missing.

226. - What? - For as much as maybe two days.

227. You hold on.

228. Audrey Horne is missing.

229. One insurance policy, unsigned.

230. ''Un''?

231. The agent said that Catherine was concerned

232. about certain irregularities.

233. Such as Josie being named the chief beneficiary.

234. Agent wasn't supposed to show it to her.

235. Well, considering Catherine's smoky fate,

236. for our side, it's all for the best.

237. Well. Win a few, lose a few.

238. Let's get those pickled icemen on the blower.

239. Gentlemen, l've been giving this a lot of thought.

240. This mill fire will put contract signing on hold for the moment,

241. so we must ensure that the moment, our moment, does not pass us by.

242. l therefore recommend we make a quick

243. but cordial follow-up phone call to lceland,

244. a little gentle handling,

245. let Einer know that we're right on top of this thing.

246. We can handle that.

247. Ben Horne for Einer Thorson.

248. Now, this is a coincidence.

249. Einer.

250. What's that?

251. Where did you hear about it?

252. Mr. Palmer called to tell you about the fire?

253. No, no, l wouldn't call it a disaster at all.

254. lt's just one of those things, an unfortunate development.

255. But l assure you, Einer,

256. that it in no way will affect our development plans.

257. Jerry Horne here, Einer.

258. Full speed ahead.

259. Yes, yes, of course, Einer.

260. We will fax all pertinent details to you.

261. Yes, yes, l promise.

262. Listen, l don't want you to worry your attractive blond head about this.

263. Einer, l'm in a meeting, gotta go.

264. Leland?

265. Leland, here's an idea.

266. Let's take you off of damage control,

267. let you concentrate on something that you can handle.

268. Like my tax return.

269. l know him.

270. Excuse me?

271. My grandfather's summer house on Pearl Lakes.

272. He lived right next door.

273. l was just a little boy.

274. But l know him.

275. l've gotta tell the sheriff about this right away.

276. Jerry...

277. ...please kill Leland.

278. ls this real, Ben,

279. or some strange and twisted dream?

280. The bullet lodged in Leo's spine--

281. lt's all right, Shelly, come on.

282. The bullet lodged in his spine, but we removed it successfully.

283. As for possible paralysis, it's too early to tell.

284. Leo lost a lot of blood,

285. most of it before we had a chance to operate.

286. l fear the resulting oxygen deprivation starved his brain,

287. induced the coma you see here.

288. ls he a vegetable?

289. ls he in pain?

290. He's not in pain.

291. Beyond that, it's hard to say.

292. Can you make him better?

293. We can maintain his current state.

294. Offer nutrition, life-support.

295. Beyond that the only ally we have is time.

296. l'm sorry, Shelly.

297. Me too.

298. Are they gonna put him in prison?

299. l know he's a suspect in several felonies.

300. l guess at the moment he's kind of in prison anyway.

301. Yes, he is.

302. Come on, l'll take you back to your room.

303. Norma's waiting downstairs to drive you home.

304. Hello, Twin Peaks Sheriff's Station.

305. Who may l say is calling, please?

306. l'm sorry, l can't connect you with Sheriff Truman

307. unless you tell me what your name is.

308. You won't?

309. l'm sorry, but l can't connect you with Sheriff Truman

310. unless you tell me who you are.

311. l'm terribly sorry, but l'm going to have to hang up now.

312. Hey, l'll take it from here.

313. No. No, you won't.

314. No, it's okay.

315. Okay, but watch out for this one.

316. Okay.

317. Why is the vacuum cleaner off?

318. Look at those toes.

319. What toes?

320. l brought the ice.

321. Frosty? My little snowman.

322. l feel a cold front moving in.

323. Hi, Emory. You remember me?

324. lt really looks like you got yourself in a fix here, huh?

325. Well, guess what.

326. l'm going to tell you a nice little bedtime story. Are you ready?

327. Once upon a time there was a sweet, innocent girl named Red--

328. That's me.

329. --and she met a bad old wolf-- That's you.

330. --and she kicked the crap out of that wolf and she told her daddy all about it.

331. Then she told the police,

332. and the bad old wolf went to jail for a million years.

333. - What do you want? - l want to know everything you know.

334. Perfume counter, Laura Palmer, Ronette Pulaski and One-Eyed Jack's.

335. You're insane.

336. l'm insane?

337. Well, l'm Audrey Horne and l get what l want.

338. - Understand? - Yes, all right.

339. l work for the owner of One-Eyed Jack's.

340. - Who is? - l work for the owner

341. - of One-Eyed Jack's. - Who is?

342. Your father.

343. He owns it all. Hell, he owns everything.

344. l run girls through the perfume counter.

345. l recruited Ronette and Laura.

346. - Did Laura come here? - One weekend.

347. She was using drugs.

348. We threw her out. l never saw her again, l swear.

349. Did my father know that Laura was here?

350. Yes, yes, he did.

351. Mr. Horne makes it his business to entertain all the girls.

352. Did she know he owned this place?

353. Owned what?

354. - One-Eyed Jack's! - Yes! Yes. Probably she did.

355. Laura always got her way.

356. Understand?

357. Just like you.

358. Why don't you change the station.

359. That's good.

360. Yeah.

361. l made the call.

362. Told them l was Leo's cousin.

363. Leo gets his disability

364. as long as he stays out of prison. lt's a lot of money, Shelly.

365. Over 5,000 a month.

366. But you only get it if he stays at home.

367. l don't care about the money. l don't want Leo home.

368. Leo is in dreamland.

369. You can stick him in the corner and hang doughnuts from his ears.

370. Sheriff Truman wants me to make a statement.

371. No way. Look, they can't force you to testify against your husband.

372. All you gotta do is get Leo home,

373. sit and collect the checks.

374. Leo owes you, baby.

375. Now we can really make him pay.

376. You want something nice? We can buy it.

377. You want to go someplace special, sit in the sun?

378. lt's on Leo. Understand?

379. l guess it would be nice not to have to worry about money.

380. l have a lot of bills l have to pay.

381. Bills? Forget about bills. l'm talking about a new way of life.

382. Together?

383. What do you think?

384. l think l wanna get comfortable.

385. That's why l got my dad's Continental.

386. Bobby Briggs, l'm gonna eat you up.

387. Promise?

388. Just watch me.

389. Diane, l received some very bad news today.

390. Windom Earle has vanished.

391. The disappearance of my former partner

392. is extremely troubling.

393. l also learned that Audrey Horne is missing.

394. Audrey's absence touches me in ways l could not predict.

395. l find myself thinking not of clues or of evidence,

396. but of the content of her smile.

397. Who is it?

398. lt's Major Briggs, Agent Cooper.

399. Just a moment.

400. - Major. - May l come in?

401. Please.

402. l have a message for you.

403. From whom?

404. l'm not at liberty to reveal the nature of my work.

405. This secrecy pains me from time to time.

406. Any bureaucracy that functions in secret

407. inevitably lends itself to corruption.

408. But these rules l have pledged to uphold.

409. l believe a pledge is sacred.

410. Speaking as a man

411. and a fellow employee of the federal government, so do l.

412. Well, l may reveal this much:

413. Among my many tasks

414. is the maintenance of deep-space monitors

415. aimed at galaxies beyond our own.

416. We routinely receive various communications,

417. space garbage, to decode and examine.

418. They look something like this.

419. lt's radio waves and gibberish, Agent Cooper.

420. Till Thursday night.

421. Friday morning to be exact.

422. Around the time that l was shot.

423. The readout took us by surprise.

424. Row after row of gibberish.

425. And all of a sudden...

426. ''The owls are not what they seem.''

427. Why did you bring this to me?

428. Because later in the morning...

429. ''Cooper...

430. ...Cooper. Cooper.''

431. My God.

432. That was really good. Let's try it again.

433. Just you and I

434. Just you and I

435. Together

436. Forever

437. In Iove

438. Just you

439. Just you

440. - And I - And I

441. - Just you - Just you

442. And I

443. - And I - And I

444. - Together - Together

445. - Forever - Forever

446. - In Iove - In Iove

447. In Iove

448. - In Iove - In Iove

449. We go stroIIing together

450. In Iove

451. We go stroIIing forever

452. - Just you - Just you

453. - And I - And I

454. Just you and I

455. And I

456. Together

457. Forever

458. In Iove

459. Just you

460. And I

461. Just you

462. And I

463. Just you

464. And I

465. Just you

466. And I

467. Just you

468. Donna.

469. Donna, what's wrong?

470. Nothing.

471. Donna?

472. Donna, what's going on?

473. l'm trembling, James.

474. You made me.

475. Donna.

476. Donna?

477. Yes?

478. There's a telephone call for you from a Harold Smith.

479. Oh, okay. l'll get it in the hallway.

480. Okay, Dad. l got it.

481. Okay, sweetheart.

482. Hello?

483. Mr. Smith?

484. l received yours.

485. l wanted to talk to you.

486. We can meet?

487. Okay.

488. The owls are not what they seem.

489. The owls are not what they seem.

490. Laura!

491. Laura!

492. Agent Cooper.

493. - lt's me, Audrey. - Audrey?

494. Where are you?

495. Why aren't you here?

496. Audrey, this is no time for schoolgirl games.

497. l want you home now.

498. l saw you in your tuxedo.

499. You look like a movie star.

500. Audrey, if you're in any kind of troubIe--

501. l am in trouble but l'm gonna come home now.

502. Audrey? Audrey?

503. Trouble, Miss Horne?

504. You don't know what trouble is.

505. Not by a long shot.

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