Trailer Park Boys 4x1

1. Smack!

2. Oh. I'm sorry about that.

3. Free at last.

4. I can't believe we're finally out of that shit-hole.

5. You know, Randy, I wouldn't wish jail time on my worst—

6. yeah, I would.

7. Speaking of Ricky,

8. heard from that mcfuck lately, Julian?

9. - Shut up, lahey. - No problem, Jules.

10. Just let me say,

11. Ricky's dream world is about to turn into a nightmare.

12. Payback time for nine months in jail.

13. Maybe today, Julian, maybe tomorrow,

14. but Ricky's going down.

15. I don't forgive, and I don't—

16. Jim, I'm serious. Don't talk to me.

17. All right, bubs, penalty shot.

18. All right. You ready?

19. Wayne gretzky on court. Screwman.

20. Ah!

21. Missed.

22. Ricky is the trailer park supervisor now,

23. and bubbles is his assistant.

24. They don't really do anything.

25. They get Corey and Trevor to do all their work for them.

26. That's 'cause Ricky and bubbles play hash hockey

27. all the time; That's all they do.

28. He's coming down the chute!

29. Ah, man, you broke my net again.

30. Sorry.

31. Sara and I played one night,

32. and we, uh—we won, like, 16 grams over three hours.

33. That's 'cause we rule at hash hockey.

34. They're pathetic.

35. We're not allowed to play anymore.

36. All right, bubs. Let's get stoned, buddy.

37. Let's do some hot knives.

38. Ricky, I can't do hot knives.

39. It tears the throat out of me.

40. Can't we smoke a clone or something?

41. We can't smoke a clone. We won't get stoned.

42. Let's smoke this hash.

43. We'll use the can over here. Come here.

44. No knives. I'll use the can.

45. Holy fuck. This hash is good.

46. Yo, my fuckers!

47. It's j roc. You know what I'm saying.

48. You motherfuckers got to see my new ride.

49. Bam!

50. Bam!

51. Boys, this is Julian. I got released today.

52. So you got to come get me.

53. Don't make me take the bus home.

54. Boys, come on. Get this message.

55. You got a half hour.

56. Julian's out of jail, Ricky.

57. We didn't move the stuff.

58. Jesus, Ricky!

59. Whoa, whoa, whoa, you guys aren't getting off here.

60. This is our stop, Julian.

61. Listen, boys, I lost a lot of good friends in jail

62. protecting you guys, all right?

63. The least you could do is leave me alone.

64. Listen, you stay away from Ricky,

65. you won't have any problem with us, Julian.

66. Jim, you know the equation.

67. You fuck with Ricky; You're gonna get burned.

68. Let it go, Jim. Shit, Julian!

69. Hey, hold on a sec, driver!

70. Oh, for fuck's sakes. Driver!

71. - Dad, thank god! - What?

72. I need you to drive the truck for me today, okay?

73. You're in charge of Corey and Trevor.

74. Fucking be hard on them.

75. It's the only way they understand.

76. Let's go, boys. Fucking move it here.

77. We got to unhook this power.

78. Let's go, guys. Get the fuck out of here.

79. Let's move it.

80. Hurry up, boys. You guys are baked, aren't ya?

81. Here. Here.

82. Ah, fuck!

83. Ricky?

84. The power's still on, Julian.

85. Ricky, I'm bubbles.

86. The power's still on, Julian.

87. Ricky, I'm bubbles.

88. Ricky, you don't have a cigarette.

89. I need a joint.

90. Listen, you idiots, my dad is in charge.

91. Stay in radio contact with him at all times.

92. And do what he fucking says, okay?

93. We can do this, boys.

94. We just got to follow the list that bubbles wrote up.

95. Well, Ricky didn't learn to read like a normal person does.

96. He didn't pay attention in school.

97. He learned to read around the house,

98. like cooking things, frozen food things.

99. The directions are all numbered—one: Do this.

100. Do this.

101. That's how Ricky learned to read,

102. and that's the only way he can really understand things.

103. First thing on the list: Borrow a 5-ton truck.

104. You two dicks go find one. Get it and radio ray.

105. Don't fuck this up, all right?

106. Test, test, trailer one, test.

107. Check, check, check.

108. Ow!

109. Adjust the fucking "s" quelch.

110. - Check, check. - Up, Trevor.

111. - Answer me, Trevor! - Check, check.

112. Ricky, I got everything organized.

113. We just need the tape. Get out here.

114. Where the fuck is the tape, bubbles?

115. You had the tape.

116. Well, it's got to be fucking here somewhere.

117. Ricky, Ricky, calm down!

118. Ricky, calm down!

119. It's right here.

120. Just follow the list!

121. Follow the list!

122. The list is fucked, buddy. We don't have time.

123. We're only on number two, and there's ten fucking things.

124. You're gonna have to distract Julian, buddy,

125. until we unfuck this up.

126. Here's the tape.

127. Distract him how?

128. You're gonna have to get drunk with him, buddy.

129. Ricky, I think maybe I shouldn't get drunk.

130. Bubbles, just leave your guitar at home.

131. How hard is that? You don't have to sing.

132. It's a lot harder than you think, Ricky.

133. Once I get drunk, I don't give a fuck.

134. I just start singing.

135. Look, I don't give a fuck about that.

136. All I give a fuck about is,

137. you keep him away from his trailer, okay?

138. You can do this!

139. I can't promise anything, Ricky, I can't.

140. You fucking idiots!

141. Where are you guys?

142. We're at a mall in dartmouth, dude.

143. We just borrowed the truck,

144. and your dad's pulling away right now.

145. Yeah, Ricky, it's your dad here.

146. Everything's under control, buddy.

147. Awesome, dad. Good job, buddy.

148. Dude, this is—

149. stop! Stop, please! We're getting shot at!

150. What the fuck is going on over there, Trevor and Corey?

151. Some guy's shooting at us. He must own the truck.

152. We can't talk right now. We'll see you in a bit.

153. - Julian, wow! - Good to see you, man.

154. - How you doing? - Hey, Rick, what's up, man?

155. Julian, man, how's it going, buddy?

156. - Good, buddy. - Good to see you, man.

157. You get the dope I sent you in jail?

158. - Yeah, thanks a lot, man. - Fucking good stuff, eh?

159. Fuck, I miss jail this year. Was it awesome?

160. Yeah, it was pretty good. The boys all missed you, man.

161. They wanted me to say hi to you.

162. Cool, buddy.

163. Anyway, I got to chill out at home for a bit, all right?

164. What are you talking about, man?

165. Come on inside, smoke a joint, and top up your drink.

166. I got some chips and shit. Come on in, buddy.

167. All right, a few minutes.

168. I just want to go home for a bit, though, Rick.

169. - That's cool. - Nice rims, man.

170. Yeah, those are pretty dope, eh?

171. Nice chain. Is that real?

172. Yeah.

173. Where did you get the money for that?

174. I'm the trailer park supervisor now, man.

175. 16 grand a year. Barb gave me a bit of money.

176. Bubbles gave me some money.

177. Come on in, buddy. Just a sec.

178. Listen, man, I don't want anything to do

179. with any illegal bullshit, all right?

180. I'm done.

181. Julian, we don't even have time for illegal shit.

182. Think about it. We're trailer park supervisors.

183. We got to plant flowers, put up satellites and shit.

184. We've been looking forward to you getting out today

185. all fucking week.

186. Rick, Rick. What are you talking about, man?

187. You're not even making any sense here.

188. I didn't even know I was getting out until today.

189. Exactly.

190. Fuck, it's good to see you, buddy.

191. Julian, we're both baked.

192. That's why he's not making sense.

193. It's true, man.

194. Rick, you already got a smoke going there.

195. - No, I know. - Boys, boys, boys.

196. I got to go home and have a few drinks, okay?

197. The parole board fucked me around big-time today.

198. I just have to be alone here, okay?

199. No offense, guys. I got to go.

200. Julian, just have another drink or something, buddy.

201. Come on, Julian. Hang on.

202. Fuck.

203. Hang out with me for a bit. I got a surprise for ya.

204. I haven't seen you in months. Come on.

205. - Boys, come on. - You just got outta jail.

206. All right, all right, all right, but listen, Rick,

207. lahey's on a warpath, okay?

208. He wants to fuck you over big-time.

209. Julian, I'm the fucking trailer park supervisor now.

210. Bubbles is the assistant.

211. Lahey can fuck off, all right?

212. I'm not doing anything wrong.

213. We don't deal with them for two weeks.

214. Who gives a fuck? No, no, no.

215. They're back today, Rick.

216. What? They're out of jail too?

217. So watch your back.

218. Bubbles, listen.

219. - Rick? - I want you guys to get drunk.

220. Have a fucking great time today, buddy.

221. You deserve it.

222. You've been in fucking jail. You have some dope?

223. I have dope in the trailer. I got to do some paperwork.

224. - Okay. - What's up with the smokes?

225. He always smokes three smokes.

226. Come on, let's get some liquor.

227. Keep your eyes closed, Julian.

228. We got you a getting-out-of-jail present.

229. Don't open them, will ya?

230. - Holy fuck. - What's going on, Julian?

231. - Keep your eyes closed. - Hey, what's up, j roc?

232. Good to see you back in the 902, cracker.

233. Put it up. Hey, man, what's up?

234. You remember d.V.S. My boy.

235. J roc! Come here, pimp dog.

236. Want to talk to you about something.

237. Got a couple of things to do here, Julian.

238. Just give me a second.

239. J roc, listen, Julian got out of jail early.

240. He doesn't even know we're growing weed.

241. I got to create a distraction, j roc.

242. Can you please let me say

243. we got this car for him as a present?

244. Bubbles, it's my brand-new whip, motherfucker.

245. Don't do that to me, you know what I'm saying?

246. Come on, j roc. I'm in a jam.

247. I got an idea.

248. Two grams of blonde Lebanese hash?

249. Let me check the shit out.

250. Ah, shit. Check that out.

251. Bubbles, that ain't even blonde.

252. You know what I'm saying, motherfucker?

253. It's got stuff on to it. It's dirty blonde, though.

254. Fuck, it's got blonde streaks into it.

255. It's Lebanese.

256. All right, b, never say I didn't have your back.

257. Ah!

258. Bubbles, where did you get this?

259. Where'd you get this?

260. We're gonna do some custom work to her too.

261. Something I saw on the Internet. It'll take me five minutes.

262. Pretty dope, isn't it?

263. It's a fucking dope whip, all right, bubbles.

264. You know what I'm saying?

265. Drive carefully, motherfucker.

266. I'll drive careful, j roc.

267. Take it easy. Hop in, Julian.

268. Yeah, I took the washer thing, rerouted her in here,

269. filled your washer tank up with rum.

270. Bubbles, is this car stolen?

271. It's clean, motherfucker, straight up.

272. One the pimpest, oldest mack in sunnyvale, j to the r.O.C.

273. Jules, you know I got your back, boy.

274. Registration's in the glove box, bitch.

275. Listen, guys, if this is a stolen car,

276. I don't want it; I'm serious.

277. If I breach probation, I'm gonna get eight years.

278. Eight years, boys!

279. They're not fucking around this time.

280. Cracker, this motherfucker is straight up

281. from a U.S. customs auction in calais, Maine.

282. You know what I'm saying?

283. Just be straight up with me. Is it hot or not?

284. Jules, just chill the fuck out

285. and take this dope whip for a ride, cracker.

286. Oh, please, Julian. Come on.

287. Hop in. Let's take this baby out.

288. All right, all right, all right.

289. For fuck sakes, bubbles.

290. I'm really craving Swiss chalet takeout.

291. Come on, it'll be my treat.

292. All right, all right.

293. - And then we're getting drunk. - Okay, thank you.

294. Hey, bubbles, man, we'd like some chicken, man.

295. Get me a quarter chicken dinner, extra gravy.

296. For sure, quarter-chicken dinner.

297. French fries, onion rings. Chicken rib combo, extra roll.

298. Boys, boys! Come off it.

299. It's distraction chicken I'm buying Julian.

300. Oh, so now, like, you got my whip,

301. you know what I'm saying, but I ain't got no chicken.

302. Hi, Mrs. Irving.

303. Hey, guys. How was jail?

304. What are you guys doing here?

305. Stay calm, guys. Trinity's here.

306. It was just fine, Ricky. Thanks for asking.

307. Hi. How was jail?

308. Listen, I'd love for you to stay and chat,

309. but the real trailer park supervisor is back.

310. Time for you to go.

311. Oh, is that right?

312. - Yeah. - Jim, just stay calm.

313. Trin, can you go next door? Just for a sec.

314. Just borrow that, if you don't mind.

315. Look, Jim, I know this is gonna be hard for you guys.

316. I know. I know what it's like.

317. This isn't your trailer, though. You got to remember that.

318. This is the supervisor's trailer,

319. and since I'm the trailer park supervisor now,

320. that makes it my trailer.

321. So you guys are gonna have to go.

322. I'm sorry about this.

323. I know you just got out of jail,

324. and you're a little fucked up right now, but...

325. - Ricky— - let's go, guys.

326. We're gonna see about this.

327. Well, I don't know if you just didn't hear me

328. or what I just said, but this is my home.

329. It's not yours. This is my trailer.

330. Ricky, this is our goddamn home.

331. I've been paying for this home for ten years.

332. The park has been paying for this, Jim, not you.

333. Listen, I am sunnyvale, Ricky.

334. You were sunnyvale before you went to jail. Remember that?

335. Ricky, you're a fuck-up. This is our home.

336. You got one hour to get out of here.

337. All your stuff— lock, stock, and barrel.

338. Look, I tried to be fucking nice, okay?

339. I tried to be fucking nice. Randy, get the fuck out!

340. Fuck off, Ricky!

341. Ricky!

342. Look, I know what it's like

343. to get out of jail and have nothing.

344. Been there, okay?

345. And I've always believed,

346. do unto others as they do unto you.

347. You've been reallocated to lot 423.

348. I collect the lot fees the first of next month.

349. Take your shit. Get the fuck out.

350. Ricky, first of next month, you're gonna be in jail,

351. getting a postcard from me.

352. You might have my job now, Ricky,

353. but I've got something you'll never have.

354. Really, what's that, lahey?

355. My grade 11.

356. Whoa, whoa, whoa, bubbles. Come on, pace yourself.

357. Small sips.

358. When did you start drinking so much?

359. Special occasions

360. I always pound the liquor into me, Julian.

361. Here, let's top her up.

362. Here, man, I'm done.

363. You didn't eat all your chicken.

364. Here. Thanks for the food, man.

365. Let's get back to the park.

366. Julian, I got a song I've been working on.

367. Can you come to my shed and listen to it?

368. I've been working on it like crazy.

369. All right, one song.

370. Ricky, we did it. We got the truck.

371. Nice work with the truck, dad.

372. Good job, buddy. Thank you so much.

373. Listen, I got about 10 grams of hash here.

374. It's awesome hash.

375. Oh, shit. Ah, fuck, man. All right.

376. Let's go, dad.

377. Let's get you out of here before someone sees you.

378. Let's move it, boys! Lahey's out of jail too!

379. We can't let Julian or lahey see these plants!

380. Just plant them, boys,

381. and water them with the solution I gave you.

382. It's easy, okay. Dude, there's too many.

383. Corey, shut up and hurry up.

384. Get these fucking plants out of the park.

385. Trevor, shirt, let's go.

386. Let's go.

387. I guess this is home, Mr. lahey.

388. Home.

389. Bubbles, why'd you move your shed, man?

390. Come here, Julian.

391. Why don't you live next to me anymore?

392. Oh, we just moved here while you were in jail, you know.

393. Here, listen, I want to play you something.

394. You listen, now.

395. Kitties are so nice

396. bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, that's not a new tune, man.

397. No, well, I put a new part into her.

398. Get them down

399. spin them round

400. tickle their bellies twice

401. bubbles, that's not a new song, man.

402. Julian, hang on.

403. Oh, I got to use it.

404. Corey and Trevor, where in the fuck are you guys?

405. Ricky, listen, it's me. Corey, get the fuck over.

406. Listen, Ricky, I'm on my way with the first load.

407. Look, man, I'm a little nervous about this.

408. People in wheelchairs on "cops" don't like to get caught.

409. Dad, you're not in a wheelchair.

410. You're fine. You're just faking it.

411. Ricky, not over the air. Jesus Christ, buddy.

412. Dad, chill out.

413. Just drop off the load

414. and come back and pick up the other one

415. and get it the fuck out of here.

416. Please, you got to move it here, buddy.

417. Ricky, I don't know

418. if we're gonna do this in one load, man.

419. I think we're gonna need an extra trip, man, no way.

420. Dad, you've got to fit it in one load.

421. I'm your son. You owe me, please.

422. We got to get this shit out of here.

423. We're running out of fucking time here.

424. Well, well, well, what have we got here.

425. It looks like Corey and Trevor and ray driving.

426. Get over here, you little f—

427. no, no, no! Don't throw bottles at me.

428. Don't throw bottles at me ever, okay?

429. Now listen up.

430. I want you to hit lot 423. Hit it hard, okay?

431. You guys know what flaming shitbags are?

432. Good, throw some of those into the mix.

433. I got two big bags of chips.

434. I'll give you one now and one when you're done.

435. Move it out, boys.

436. He can stick his grade 11 up his ass.

437. Ahhh!

438. Classic distraction scenario, Randy.

439. Ricky's up to something.

440. He's gonna pay for what he did to us.

441. Mr. lahey, try to remember

442. what the therapist said about blaming.

443. Therapists don't know shit, Randy.

444. They cause more mental health problems than they cure.

445. All right, boys, the coast is clear.

446. Get that fucking truck out of here right now.

447. Ah, dude, there's still dope in one of the trailers.

448. What the fuck do you mean there's still dope—

449. Julian's here, boys. Which trailer?

450. Which trailer— fuck!

451. What's up with the fucking gate, Rick?

452. Ah, listen, man, I didn't want to tell you but...

453. Ah, fuck, here comes lahey. Great.

454. I didn't want to tell you this, but I had to condemn

455. this area of the park— huge mold problem, man.

456. Environmental— major meltdown, buddy.

457. It's bugs, mold. Your fault.

458. You did leave— you left shit in your trailer.

459. Bullshit, Ricky. I'm going home to get drunk.

460. What's going on here, Ricky? Smells like a lot of dope to me.

461. It's none of your fucking ex-supervisor business, lahey.

462. Now get this fucking car out of here.

463. I've got a truckful of mold that could kill people.

464. Bubbles, I could use some help here.

465. Fucking Randy's gut

466. it's full of dirty old cheeseburgers

467. bubbles, hold up for a second.

468. Yeah, officer green, Jim lahey here.

469. Got a big problem in the park, bud, yeah.

470. Starts with Ricky. Ends with jail.

471. Lahey, get this fucking car out of here, please.

472. Oh, you're not gonna move your car?

473. Fine, I'll move the fucking thing.

474. Jesus, Ricky. Ricky!

475. Ricky!

476. For Christ's sakes, what are you doing?

477. Hey! Randy!

478. Let's go! Get the dope out of here!

479. Corey and Trevor!

480. Corey and Trevor got away

481. Corey and Trevor got away

482. bubbles.

483. Corey and Trevor got away

484. Rick, Rick.

485. Truckful of mold, eh?

486. Bubbles, there's still some stuff in one of these trailer.

487. I'm not fucking stupid, you know?

488. There's nothing going on here, Julian.

489. That's not good, Ricky.

490. Ah, fuck! The fucking cops!

491. Nothing happening here.

492. I think they called yous over there somewhere,

493. and they just cleared out of here, I guess.

494. Hello, Jim. How was jail?

495. I got through jail, George, waiting for this day.

496. I finally got them dead to rights.

497. What have you got, Jim?

498. What I have, George, is a wall!

499. They built a wall, and I guarantee you,

500. they're growing dope back there!

501. That's bullshit. That is bullshit.

502. There's nothing back here

503. but a bunch of mold that could kill people.

504. Jim, what are you doing?

505. George, think about it. They built a wall.

506. You check the trailers behind that wall,

507. and we got 'em.

508. Trust me, George.

509. Fuck him, George. He's drunk.

510. Fuck him. Take him away.

511. All right, Karen, open it up.

512. Ricky, I'm gonna take a look inside these trailers.

513. I'm sure you don't mind.

514. George, wait. Do you have a search warranty?

515. Well, I can certainly get one.

516. But you don't have one, though, do you?

517. Make your point.

518. My point is, I'm going to be a good guy.

519. I got nothing to hide here.

520. We'd been getting along good when those idiots were in jail.

521. So why don't we just do this, pick one trailer—

522. one, two, or three— and search that.

523. That's me being fair, George.

524. You're fucking lucky to even be here.

525. You listen to a drunk idiot. Bubbles, please.

526. What trailer is he gonna pick?

527. - Pick number one. - Pick two, George.

528. Search that one over there, number three.

529. - Hey! - Pick two! Pick two!

530. I think we'll do number one with the foil here.

531. - Number one! - Ricky, stay right there.

532. Karen, keep them quiet. Keep them out of my way.

533. George, I just got out of jail, all right?

534. I haven't been home yet.

535. I got no idea what's going on in there.

536. Guess what, Jim. Nothing!

537. As always. See, Julian?

538. Nothing in there but a pile of old tin foil

539. and some old electrical hookups.

540. They're growing in there, George!

541. You're wasting the fucking cops' time again, lahey.

542. You happy about that?

543. Maybe somebody was growing dope in there, okay,

544. but there's no actual dope in there, right now!

545. George, get a warrant and search the other trailers.

546. Jim, listen to me.

547. Never again.

548. 18 times in the past year you've called me out here.

549. And 18—Ricky, take a walk—

550. and 18 times, what has it been?

551. Bullshit! That's what.

552. George, what about stolen drug cars?

553. Run the plates on that car,

554. and I'll guarantee you it comes back stolen.

555. They don't have money for that kind of shit, George.

556. Check it.

557. Oh, you're not buying this bullshit again?

558. Ricky, over there.

559. He's wasting your fucking time.

560. Over there. Do it now.

561. Bubbles, you're pissing on my car!

562. I know!

563. Dispatch, run plate Charlie Wilma Wilma 3-2-5.

564. Roger. Stand by.

565. There's cops here, bubbles. Stop pissing in public.

566. Plates are registered to a Mr. Corey Trevor

567. of sunnyvale trailer park.

568. Plates are clean.

569. You're gonna go to the drunk tank.

570. Ah, think for one fucking second, George.

571. Ah, jeez, not stolen?

572. Are you really this fucking stupid?

573. Let's talk about stupid, Jim.

574. I'm gonna put this in a way

575. that even someone like you can understand.

576. Remember the story of the little boy who cried wolf?

577. In case you forgot,

578. he was a little boy who cried for help

579. because he said there was a wolf after him.

580. Each time the people of the village came running,

581. and each time there was no wolf.

582. Eventually they got really tired of it.

583. So when he calls for help

584. because there's a real wolf after him,

585. nobody takes him seriously.

586. Nobody comes, because nobody cares.

587. Do you see where I'm going with this, Jim?

588. George, I know it looks like I'm off the Mark.

589. Listen, what we have here, Jim, is a shitwolf.

590. Do you know what a shitwolf is?

591. You never seem to have

592. that crucial little thing called evidence.

593. But each time, you cry shitwolf,

594. and each time, I come running.

595. No more, Jim. Never again.

596. Now, I want you to tell me what the moral of the story is.

597. - George— - no, say it, Jim.

598. Say it.

599. Never cry shitwolf.

600. That's right.

601. Now get your sorry ass out of here,

602. or you're spending the night in the drunk tank.

603. George, I got to tell you a secret.

604. Come here.

605. This is George green! Fuck off!

606. Julian, you get him under control,

607. or you're both going to the drunk tank.

608. George, I'm not doing anything wrong.

609. Open liquor, Julian.

610. Don't push it. Bubbles!

611. I'm just gonna sing you a little tune.

612. I don't want to hear another note out of you,

613. or you know where you're going! Not a note.

614. If I was to ask you a question,

615. and you were to blink— you don't have to say anything—

616. you just got to blink, all right?

617. That wouldn't be ratting him out, okay.

618. Everybody's got to blink, right? Uh, yeah.

619. Okay, two blinks for yes, one blink for no.

620. Is Ricky growing dope again?

621. I did it two times there, if you didn't notice.