The Sopranos 5x7

1. Don't tell me we're fighting all the time.

2. I try to get along.

3. You can't just say whatever comes to mind, Tony.

4. You were fucking horrible. That shit about the roadies.

5. You hit below the belt yourself, Jan,

6. not to mention you started it.

7. No cheese for Sophia.

8. Those kids seem to like you, sort of.

9. I leave them completely free to do whatever they want.

10. How else are they gonna learn from their mistakes?

11. Anyway, thank you for having us over.

12. What's this you're watching?

13. Beethoven.

14. - Can we get a dog? - Please?

15. I'll walk him, and I'll pick up the poo and pee.

16. Pee? Right. Start with your underwear.

17. We had a dog.

18. Remember? Tippy?

19. He got worms, though. Had to move to the country.

20. Tippy was gassed, Tony.

21. Daddy took him to the pound.

22. He used to drag his ass on the carpet just to scratch himself.

23. My mother went crazy.

24. Gassed?

25. And he's so cynical about everything else.

26. Father told me

27. he took him to live on a farm.

28. That's what they always say.

29. That same farm must have 17 billion dogs on it.

30. Dog shit up to the rafters.

31. Hello?

32. What?

33. Oh, no, that's terrible.

34. What? What's the matter?

35. It's Cousin Josephine.

36. - Aunt Concett' died. - What happened?

37. They think it was a heart attack.

38. Uncle Zio found her on the couch after Meet the Press.

39. - We hereby commend - Concetta to the Lord,

40. embraced in His divine goodness.

41. Let us go in peace.

42. - Amen. - Amen.

43. Listen, as long as we're here, I was gonna go visit my father,

44. if you'd like to join me.

45. Five hours, they let me out for these funerals.

46. I gotta spend it being maudlin?

47. It's a beautiful day.

48. Excuse me, I thought you might wanna go pay your respects

49. to your brother.

50. By crying to a chunk of marble?

51. I can pay my respects from the after-party.

52. After-party?

53. It's those uptake inhibitors.

54. We were skeptical at first, then his mood really improved.

55. His memory too.

56. Excuse me.

57. Excuse me. Hi.

58. Oh, hello.

59. You knew my mother?

60. You're Anthony.

61. Oh, my God.

62. Do I know you?

63. Oh, no.

64. No, no, you're not annoying me.

65. No, no...

66. Do we know each other?

67. Oh, we met once.

68. I was a friend of your father's.

69. Oh.

70. You're the lady from Bamberger's.

71. From the fur department.

72. Fran Felstein.

73. Tony.

74. How you doing?

75. So, what, you...

76. you come visit?

77. I miss your father sometimes. It's...

78. It's foolish.

79. No, don't say that.

80. No, I was sorry to hear about your mother.

81. At least she didn't suffer.

82. She made all of us suffer instead.

83. Oh, it was a joke.

84. She made all of us suffer.

85. Believe me, I heard the stories from your dad.

86. Yeah.

87. You'll have to forgive me. My hearing the last few years...

88. Well, how about a hearing aid?

89. They got the little ones now. You can't even see them.

90. I'm too vain. Anyway...

91. Johnny was very proud of you.

92. You were very special to him.

93. I'm sure you were too.

94. You know, Johnny told me if I ever needed anything,

95. I should always call his son.

96. What do you need?

97. Not a thing.

98. Fran Felstein?

99. That was class.

100. Got great legs for an old broad.

101. I was in love with that woman.

102. She was the reason I never married.

103. I wanted to propose.

104. I had the ring all picked out.

105. So what? She turned you down?

106. I hesitated. How could I bring this life we live on a woman?

107. Anyway, she took it as a sign I wasn't interested.

108. And then one night we were all at the 500 Club

109. to see Enzo Stuarti.

110. Your father shows up.

111. Sy Devore suit, two-inch lapel.

112. That was that.

113. She never knew my feelings. What could I do?

114. For years, I suffered in silence.

115. Mario, did you bring your guitar?

116. Not to this.

117. Angie, come on. Sing us a song.

118. You sing, Junior.

119. Nobody wants to hear me.

120. Mario, remember?

121. Thank you.

122. Thanks, my name's JT. I'm an alcoholic and an addict.

123. Hi, JT.

124. I'm also a TV writer which, by default,

125. makes me a douchebag, but...

126. you would've figured that out for yourselves in a minute.

127. Uh...

128. About 15 years ago, I moved from Jersey to Hollywood,

129. broke into the biz.

130. It was a dream come true. I was making money.

131. I had the Beemer, the actress girlfriend.

132. Best of all, I had all the flake I needed

133. to keep me churning out that snappy dialogue

134. for Corbin Bernsen.

135. Drugs, alcohol.

136. That shit practically comes with the Writers Guild card.

137. Anyway, before too long,

138. I discovered heroin.

139. Then things really started to fall apart.

140. It got so bad that I blew a deadline on a Nash Bridges.

141. I got my ass fired. I didn't work for 18 months.

142. By the grace of God,

143. I got myself into a rehab program in Pennsylvania,

144. and with the help of some good friends

145. that I made there, I got through it.

146. Chris, where are you?

147. There's my man Chris, everybody.

148. Anyway, I wanna talk a little bit

149. about taking a moral inventory.

150. So we talked for, like, an hour.

151. Well, it turns out that they had a thing,

152. her and my old man.

153. Right up till he died.

154. He got from this woman what he couldn't get at home.

155. Support.

156. You know, love.

157. A smile when you walk in the fucking door.

158. Do you think that justifies his infidelity?

159. She drove him into that woman's arms, my mother.

160. To all his women.

161. I'll tell you one thing.

162. Over the years he was rotting in that grave,

163. I can't remember once my mother going to visit him.

164. But this lady, Fran...

165. It's possible your mother found it very painful.

166. Oh, poor her.

167. What was it like sitting there with Fran?

168. It was a little weird at first, you know...

169. Here I am comforting my father's mistress.

170. My mother's lying there, dead.

171. Are you attracted to her?

172. Come on, she's old enough to be my mother!

173. Oh, Jesus Christ, it's an expression.

174. Don't cream yourself.

175. I did not want to fuck my mother.

176. You should've seen her in her housedress, with that hairnet.

177. This conversation'd be over in two seconds.

178. So, I figured, why not move back to Jersey?

179. Clean slate. It's better.

180. My new agent, next week he's got me

181. set up to meet Dick Wolf's guy.

182. I seen Dick Wolf at Rao's one night.

183. Guy's got his own limo.

184. That Law & Order money?

185. The guy could have his own battleship.

186. But enough of my shit. How are you doing?

187. Good, you know.

188. Working the program.

189. Oh, yeah?

190. I had some fucking wine, all right?

191. Is that what you wanna hear?

192. Christopher, when was this?

193. I don't know.

194. My fiancée was in a car crash.

195. I didn't even like it.

196. I went to a meeting the next day.

197. But no slip since then?

198. I've been sober, and I've been high.

199. Sober's better.

200. You know you can call me anytime, right?

201. What, do you got a date?

202. I got to meet somebody, a friend.

203. Go ahead, I'll get this.

204. Thanks, bro. Listen, call me. I'm serious.

205. Harold Melvoin.

206. Mel, it's me.

207. Corrado, what's up?

208. There's a funeral I need to attend.

209. I want you to call the feds.

210. Vincent Patronella.

211. Is he a relative? You know the rules.

212. He's my niece's godfather.

213. I think I met him at a barbecue once for the bicentennial.

214. All they can say is no.

215. Your father used to bring me flowers all the time.

216. - Flowers and lingerie. - Oh.

217. I'm making chicken.

218. Cuban-style with black beans.

219. Oh.

220. What's this?

221. Ketchup? Sure. If you want.

222. No, the kid and the dog.

223. Oh! My son, Bruce.

224. He married an Israeli girl.

225. He's a food service director with El Al.

226. No, no, no, the dog.

227. Oh, Freckles?

228. He was a gift from your dad.

229. What?

230. Oh, when?

231. Oh, this is my fucking dog!

232. Excuse me, I'm sorry. This was my dog.

233. His name was Tippy.

234. Your dad never said.

235. I don't fucking believe this.

236. My mother made him give the dog away.

237. Well, Bruce loved him.

238. He had him for almost ten years, till he moved to Tel Aviv.

239. Then I had to put him to sleep.

240. Those are the pictures, on the coffee table.

241. The slippers were your dad's, too.

242. Look at this.

243. The two of you.

244. He used to remind me of Victor Mature.

245. Thanks.

246. Oh.

247. Outside the Latin Quarter.

248. Holy shit, look at Hesh.

249. George Gershwin.

250. He was a whoremaster, and cheap.

251. You know, he screwed me out of my retirement money.

252. Against your dad's wishes, by the way.

253. What are you talking about?

254. Don't get me started.

255. No, come on, what happened?

256. Your dad owned a racetrack.

257. With the midget auto racing.

258. Yeah, the Chickamauga Raceway over in New Egypt.

259. Him, Herman, some other guy.

260. Phil something.

261. With the hair, from New York.

262. Yeah, Leotardo.

263. My father cut him in to pay off a poker debt.

264. Johnny always told me his piece would go to me.

265. Couldn't put me in his will, obviously.

266. When he passed, your dad,

267. I called Hesh.

268. He sent me 500 bucks.

269. That's it?

270. I'm sorry.

271. No.

272. Jesus Christ, I wish you'd called me.

273. Bruce sends me money occasionally.

274. Well, that's not the point. It's my father's wishes.

275. Look, forget it.

276. Seriously, I'm sorry. I...

277. I shouldn't have even brought it up.

278. Listen, after we eat, you wanna take a ride?

279. So I saw my Uncle Jun.

280. He says to say hello.

281. Junior?

282. Jesus.

283. How's he doing?

284. I don't know if you know it,

285. but he was always a little hot for you.

286. He was practically a stalker.

287. He said he suffered in silence.

288. Suffered in silence?

289. He used to skulk outside my building, all hours.

290. Weird phone calls.

291. I always had a hunch

292. he told Livia about me and Johnny.

293. Jesus Christ.

294. She was a handsome woman, your mother.

295. Not sexy, exactly, but statuesque.

296. Little nip?

297. What is it?

298. It's one for the road, honey.

299. And this looks like road to me.

300. Rémy Martin, VSOP.

301. Mm.

302. Whoa.

303. They can't be making much,

304. but if I know Hesh,

305. him and Phil got something going on out of here.

306. So tell me about your women.

307. Your wife, what's she like?

308. I don't know.

309. What's to tell?

310. Good woman, good mother.

311. Marriage hit the rocks, that's all.

312. What are you gonna do?

313. How about your girlfriend?

314. She's an art dealer.

315. Very sophisticated.

316. Dark hair, dark eyes.

317. She's Latin.

318. You know, from Spain.

319. That's it.

320. Oh, man, I am so glad you called.

321. I really needed this.

322. So?

323. So, what?

324. What, there's nothing you wanna talk about?

325. I was honest with you the other night.

326. What, you're telling me you're not using?

327. What?

328. You ran out of IHOP like you were on fire.

329. You were jonesing like a motherfucker.

330. I was meeting a girl. We were going to the track.

331. The Meadowlands.

332. I didn't wanna miss the last race.

333. I am totally clean and sober.

334. Jesus Christ.

335. I was positive you fucking slipped.

336. Thank you, man.

337. I appreciate your concern.

338. I could have saved you a trip.

339. I'll take your action.

340. You take a dime each on the Yankees and St. Louis?

341. Whoa, high roller.

342. Just got a three-grand residual on a That's Life episode.

343. What, that fake guinea-fest with Paul Sorvino?

344. That was totally unrealistic.

345. So dusty here.

346. Yeah.

347. That silk?

348. It ain't Kleenex.

349. It's linen.

350. You know, you're very...

351. I don't know, you got a lot of class.

352. Just like your girlfriend.

353. He told me to look out for her, so I sent her some money,

354. which is a helluva lot more than anybody else did.

355. Then all these years, you decide to keep his end for yourself?

356. Oh, I should give it to some trollop, huh?

357. Besides, I thought I had it coming.

358. With Phil Leotardo in the can for 20 years,

359. who do you think's been running that place, huh?

360. Collecting the rent, filing the taxes,

361. all that bullshit?

362. What about my share?

363. All those years, I never saw a dime.

364. You're my father's friend, Hesh. My friend!

365. Oh, I'm such a good friend, how come I never see you?

366. What? I see you. I'm fucking busy.

367. Never too busy to call me at 2:00 a.m. to hear your problems, though.

368. One time, that happened.

369. My therapist was on vacation.

370. Listen, you want his end, kid, you got it.

371. It's 25%.

372. The closing is not for two weeks,

373. and I would appreciate it if you called Phil Leotardo

374. and tell him that he should assume part of that burden.

375. Well, despite how you feel, my father loved this woman.

376. She's not such a bad person. But I don't know.

377. Something about her always rubbed me the wrong way.

378. Maybe because she was rubbing him and not you.

379. How long you know me, bub, huh?

380. She's a little pale for my taste.

381. Mr. Patronella was last week. This is a different one.

382. Yes, I'm aware he's been to two funerals in a month.

383. Well, people die, Counselor.

384. The deceased in question now, Mrs. Crilley,

385. was the sister of Mr. Soprano's cousin.

386. By marriage.

387. So she's not a blood relative per se.

388. Are we quibbling now? For God's sake,

389. the man wants to pay his respects.

390. Well, perhaps my next call should be to Judge Runions.

391. Get him involved.

392. Five hours.

393. It's not a Hawaiian vacation.

394. He'll attend the church service,

395. then pay his respects to the family afterwards.

396. Thank you, Counselor.

397. We appreciate it.

398. You're worth every fucking cent.

399. They're gonna have Scottish bagpipes at the funeral.

400. It should be interesting.

401. Don Provolone.

402. See that fucking game?

403. Diet Coke and whatever he's having.

404. Ginger ale?

405. Remind me to send Jeter a dozen roses.

406. You wanna parlay it?

407. I was thinking I'd go check out that Indian casino,

408. play some poker.

409. You want in a real game, I'll hook you up.

410. High stakes, exclusive clientele.

411. - David Lee Roth. - I'll tell you, man,

412. playing cards, games of chance, I never really dug it before.

413. I was never that good at math.

414. But there's something about that excitement that's so...

415. I don't know.

416. What is wrong? I win one bet, you look like you're gonna cry.

417. I fucked up again.

418. My super came by this morning

419. to fucking caulk around the toilet.

420. He had some weed.

421. You have got to call someone

422. before you use, not after.

423. I know, I know.

424. I just wanted to see if I could get high like a normal person.

425. You're not normal. Neither of us are.

426. And on top of that, you ask me to meet you at a bar?

427. Come here, you maniac.

428. 625K for the track plus all that land?

429. That's it?

430. Problem's the zoning restrictions.

431. We're lucky we got a buyer at all.

432. Here's what I propose.

433. Tony gets 150.

434. 25% comes from you,

435. the other 75% of that comes from Hesh.

436. Jesus Christ, that's like 40 grand.

437. You gotta be fucking kidding me, John.

438. Am I smiling?

439. You got some balls, kid, I'll give you that much.

440. You'll give me what I tell you to give me.

441. - Whoa, Tony, come on. - Take it easy.

442. - Take it easy. - Fuck that!

443. This ain't the '70s.

444. And I'm not a kid.

445. Relax, it's an expression.

446. Well, here's another expression.

447. You got five days to give me my money.

448. Come on.

449. That was out of line.

450. Philly, he's a boss.

451. Jersey?

452. Come on, huh?

453. Well, I talked to Phil and Hesh about the racetrack.

454. How bad did they bullshit you?

455. Well, actually, we straightened it all out.

456. So when the sale goes through,

457. you're looking at a nice piece of change.

458. - You're kidding? - No.

459. Hey, that's wonderful.

460. I wanted to show you something.

461. You were admiring my handkerchief.

462. Check out the initials.

463. JFK? Holy shit!

464. This was his?

465. You know, I have a hat of his.

466. A captain's hat I bought at an auction.

467. A lot of the friends don't like him.

468. You know, Ruby and all that shit.

469. But, fuck, I was in grammar school.

470. That's my lipstick.

471. We had a little thing.

472. When he was president?

473. March '61.

474. Right before the Bay of Pigs.

475. I was at the Copa with a girlfriend.

476. I'm wearing a new sable, and we meet Lem Billings.

477. Now, Lem is a school friend of Jack's from Choate,

478. but of course we had no idea.

479. He insists that we join him

480. for some affair at the Pierre Hotel.

481. He won't take no.

482. He has a limo, we figure, "What the hell?"

483. You know, so...

484. We go over, and he tells us

485. he's taking us to the presidential suite.

486. So we get up, out of the elevator.

487. We go in the suite.

488. It is crawling with models, celebrities.

489. Peter Lawford, Sinatra.

490. Jackie Gleason.

491. - No shit. - Yeah.

492. I'm looking around.

493. And I glance across the room,

494. and suddenly, I am locking eyes

495. with John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

496. Yeah, I mean, he comes over. He is a perfect gentleman.

497. He takes my coat, he brings me a cocktail,

498. introduces me around.

499. And finally, at the end of the night... now, get this...

500. "In the interests of national security," he says,

501. he needs me to stay.

502. Since I'm wearing a sable,

503. he needs to personally interview me,

504. make sure I'm not working for the Russians.

505. He said that?

506. Some line, huh?

507. What was he like?

508. - Wonderful. - So were you two an item?

509. No. He called.

510. But after all, this man was the leader

511. of the free world.

512. I mean, you know...

513. I remember one weekend,

514. I was supposed to go down to D.C.,

515. stay at the Ritz-Carlton.

516. Last minute, emergency meeting.

517. Steel workers are going on strike.

518. So, what, it was just that one time, or...?

519. Except for, you know, after the Bay of Pigs,

520. he was probably pretty busy.

521. Yeah, I knew there were others.

522. Judy Campbell. And Marilyn, of course.

523. We had something special, though.

524. Crazy passion.

525. That was something your mother never understood.

526. When you're married to a powerful man,

527. you damn well better make him feel powerful.

528. My mother?

529. Please.

530. I saw a picture of Livia on New Year's Eve.

531. She was dressed like a refugee.

532. Listen, I think I'm going to skip the coffee.

533. I got a meeting in the city.

534. Are you... you sure?

535. Look...

536. consider this an advance.

537. Get your phone turned on and pay your rent.

538. Your dad would be so proud.

539. He raised a real gentleman.

540. You trying to buy this pot?

541. 800 and you'll know.

542. What the fuck.

543. Cowboys and three little Indians.

544. Fuck me!

545. I got a lot of big people coming next week.

546. So when you write on TV, what do they have, like,

547. one guy writes the words for Dylan McDermott

548. and one guy writes for Nicholson's girlfriend?

549. That the way it is?

550. You write it all yourself.

551. Oh, interesting.

552. So how you doing?

553. You wanna take off?

554. I'm getting killed here.

555. I'm gonna go. I'm fucking shot.

556. I'll call you tomorrow.

557. You wanna work out?

558. Sure, yeah, whatever.

559. Four of clubs to Joe Hollywood,

560. jack for the car-wash king.

561. Ten for Mr. Vito.

562. Show Valentina you love her!

563. They were out of the Citrucel.

564. Where you goin'?

565. Gotta order some flowers.

566. Sal from the dry cleaner's, his kid died.

567. Drowned in a Jacuzzi.

568. Seven years old, you believe it?

569. Fuckin' tragedy.

570. Harold Melvoin.

571. It's me.

572. I got another funeral. A kid.

573. His father does my shirts.

574. Corrado, it has to be a relative.

575. It is a relative, goddamn it.

576. My old man came over with this kid's great-great-grandfather.

577. The guy had a club foot.

578. That's rather tenuous, don't you think?

579. The whole fuckin' village of Avellino

580. settled in this area.

581. We gotta be related somewhere down the line.

582. - Corrado... - Corrado, my balls!

583. I gotta get out of this house. I'm going fucking stir-crazy.

584. Seventh Street coming out.

585. Holy shit.

586. You're still here?

587. Called you all day yesterday.

588. We're in a hand here.

589. What do you wanna do?

590. Fold.

591. Here, fuck it.

592. I'm all in.

593. Call.

594. Pair of tens.

595. Flush.

596. Caught it on the river.

597. Motherfucking...

598. fuck!

599. How bad?

600. He owes the house 57.

601. Thousand?

602. What are you, fuckin' crazy?

603. Define crazy.

604. I'm good for it. I'm up for this Dick Wolf thing.

605. If I get on staff, it's like a month's salary.

606. Well, how about this fuckin' month?

607. Hey, you think you could spot me for a while?

608. I-I got some child support too.

609. I'll cover this.

610. I'll give you three grand for incidentals.

611. That's 60,000 altogether.

612. I've only been up two days. I can still add.

613. Good. Then add two points every week

614. till I'm paid in fucking full.

615. You're charging me vig?

616. On top of the principal. It's compounded if you're late.

617. That's 1,200 one week from today.

618. Don't give me that look. This is your problem.

619. I will not fucking enable you.

620. There he is! Philly!

621. Phil.

622. Phil, where are you going?

623. Hey, Tony, I gotta meet John down the restaurant.

624. You fuckin' cocksucker!

625. Where you gonna go, huh?

626. Where you gonna go?

627. You motherfucker!

628. Jesus Christ.

629. Mister, you okay in there?

630. Oh, my neck!

631. - Oh! Oh! - You all right?

632. You run from me, you fucking cocksucker?

633. Where's my fuckin' money?

634. I'll get it. I'll get it. My neck, Tony.

635. What do you think, I'm an asshole? Huh?

636. No, no, no. No, Tony.

637. - I can't hear you. - No, no. Please, Tony.

638. You got 24 hours.

639. Called 911. They're on their way.

640. He's all right.

641. Oh, my God.

642. Oh, my baby.

643. Take her upstairs, Andy.

644. My baby...

645. She should probably take

646. one of those tranquillizers her mother gave her.

647. We should go, Junior.

648. Relax, we just got here.

649. Chicken's nice and spicy, huh?

650. I know you're in there.

651. You're casting a shadow over the peephole.

652. Hey.

653. What, are you ducking me?

654. No, what are you...?

655. I thought you were this girl. She's a pain in the ass.

656. So, what the fuck? Where you been?

657. Working, man. I got those TV pitch meetings.

658. - I was gonna call you. - Yeah, so why didn't you?

659. All right, look. You want the truth?

660. I was away. I went to AC.

661. - Where's my money? - I don't have it yet.

662. But you went to AC.

663. I have a meeting next week with René Balcer.

664. Dick Wolf's right-hand guy.

665. He likes my stuff. He told my agent.

666. I'm gonna be on staff.

667. I got out of that business 'cause people fuck you over.

668. Jon Favreau?

669. Faggot cocksucker tried to steal my ideas.

670. Bro, listen, I swear on all that's holy,

671. I'll have your money next week.

672. That wasn't the deal! I'll be back tomorrow.

673. Don't make me a jerkoff.

674. Damn, I'm happy.

675. Get a load of these.

676. My new kicks.

677. Bottega Veneta, marked down to only 600.

678. Thought you were paying your phone bill.

679. Oh, I should've, I know.

680. But it's been so long since I've been able to treat myself.

681. Oh, thanks.

682. So, turns out my Uncle Zio's going downhill.

683. The day we met, I told you we were there

684. at the cemetery to bury his wife, my Aunt Concetta.

685. Seventy years, they were together.

686. Poor guy's taking it very hard.

687. Oh!

688. My knight in shining armor.

689. So?

690. Yeah, good morning to you too.

691. - You got it? - Jesus.

692. You are a fuckin' trip.

693. I'm J.T., by the way.

694. What is this, fuckin' Pulp Fiction?

695. Am I supposed to be afraid?

696. I don't know. I didn't see it.

697. You're really being a prick, huh?

698. I told you, I need more time. I don't have the money.

699. Then fucking get it.

700. Chris, you know me.

701. What could you possibly do to me

702. that I haven't already been through?

703. I'm positive we'll think of something.

704. Ah! Oh, my God!

705. And 66 years after taking those sacred vows,

706. "till death do us part,"

707. Concetta left him and went home to God.

708. In the two weeks that followed, Nicolo struggled without her,

709. finally succumbing to irredeemable loss.

710. The enormity of his grief

711. can hardly be imagined.

712. How much they went through together.

713. Seeing their children grow,

714. and looking joyfully on

715. as their grandchildren had children.

716. Sickness and health.

717. Good times and bad.

718. But through it all, one thing remained constant.

719. They had each other.

720. It was Nicolo's love for Concetta

721. that made him leave this earth

722. a mere 15 days after she left him.

723. We take comfort knowing they're together again,

724. seated at the foot of our Lord.

725. Let us join together in prayer.

726. - Hail, Mary... - full of grace,

727. the Lord is with thee.

728. Blessed art thou among women,

729. and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

730. Holy Mary, Mother of God,

731. pray for us sinners,

732. now and at the hour of our death, amen.

733. Junior, what's the matter?

734. Oh, this fucking shit!

735. What's the point?

736. Shh, Uncle Junior.

737. I can't take it anymore!

738. Okay. You need to lower your voice.

739. Come on.

740. and forgive us our trespasses

741. as we forgive those who trespass against us.

742. It's a fucking Emmy.

743. It's gold-plated.

744. Then melt it down, man.

745. Look, I told you, $15.

746. Oh, fuck, man, come on!

747. This is, like, huge, this shit.

748. If you had an Oscar,

749. maybe I could give you a little something.

750. An Academy Award.

751. But TV?

752. - What else you got? - I don't know.

753. I got a laptop in my car.

754. Yeah, okay, cool.

755. I'll check that out.

756. From your friend.

757. All 1,200.

758. He give you a hard time?

759. Hardest thing was keeping him awake.

760. He's hitting the vein. Nodding out.

761. Son of a fuckin' bitch.

762. Cheers.

763. Mm.

764. I'm grilling us some filet mignon.

765. And you, take a load off.

766. Here, this is the money from the closing of the racetrack.

767. It's 150 grand.

768. That's great.

769. How's your pal Hesh?

770. Good.

771. I remember once,

772. your dad and I drove down the shore.

773. Hesh had rented a place at Point Pleasant.

774. It was right before Labor Day.

775. Actually, it was a couple of months before he died.

776. We stopped at a liquor store.

777. He had to pee, I needed some cigarettes.

778. And anyway, the man behind the counter was blind.

779. Your dad looks at him...

780. Whoa, wait a minute.

781. This is after my dad got sick?

782. Yeah.

783. My dad caught emphysema, and you kept smoking?

784. He didn't mind.

785. He could barely breathe.

786. We had the oxygen tent set up right in the house.

787. I mean, Jesus Christ, even my mother quit.

788. I offered to stop. I mean...

789. And he didn't want me to. He was fine with it, really.

790. All right, whatever.

791. Finish your story.

792. It was dumb.

793. Your dad got the guy to give us some champagne.

794. Water chestnuts wrapped in bacon.

795. And dip them in the duck sauce.

796. All right.

797. Mm. Delicious.

798. So, what's in the bag?

799. Oh.

800. Yeah, I wanted to show you this.

801. It's the hat I told you about.

802. JFK's.

803. Oh, my goodness.

804. Look at this.

805. - May I? - Yeah.

806. Oh.

807. I met with the Dick Wolf guy.

808. They hired some kid from Yale.

809. Plus, now the money I owe you,

810. my ex-fucking-wife...

811. How many times have you shot up?

812. Five, six.

813. I thought I had it under control.

814. I lost it.

815. You stupid fuck.

816. You were doing so good. Now you fucked it all up.

817. Where do you get the right?

818. We're in the program.

819. You're gonna use, why didn't you call your sponsor?

820. I couldn't get him.

821. So why the fuck didn't you call me?

822. Yeah, but I don't fucking live with my mistress.

823. I mean, his fucking slippers?

824. Go on.

825. Well, when I left there, I...

826. started thinking about it.

827. When I was, I don't know, 16 years old...

828. my son's age...

829. I came home from school,

830. and there was this note from my Aunt Quin.

831. My mother had been pregnant

832. with another kid after my sister Barbara.

833. Change-of-life baby, they called it, and...

834. Well, she started bleeding.

835. I was supposed find my father and get him over there ASAP.

836. I called every number I had. I left messages all over town.

837. And finally, that night,

838. about 10:00,

839. he called me back.

840. Hello?

841. Anthony, what's the matter?

842. Ma's in the hospital.

843. I-I think she was... she was bleeding.

844. The baby.

845. Jesus Christ.

846. Oh, shit!

847. - Okay, pal. - The lamb chops

848. are gonna be overcooked.

849. I'm tied up,

850. but I'm gonna get over to the hospital right away.

851. He came and got me the next morning.

852. We went over to the hospital.

853. Walked into her room.

854. You're okay, baby, you're okay.

855. No, you're okay!

856. Your life is just so wonderful and okay!

857. Lee...

858. Where were you last night?

859. I was at the Yankee game.

860. You were with that whore.

861. What do you take me for, an idiot?

862. No, Lee, that's not true!

863. I picked up Anthony from school, we went to the game.

864. Nicky gave us the tickets.

865. You're a goddamn liar.

866. I swear to God, Lee, the car broke down!

867. The timing belt!

868. We had to stay at Cousin Jimmy's.

869. Marone, when we got home and saw that note,

870. I was worried sick.

871. Ask Anthony, you don't believe me.

872. Where were you last night, Anthony?

873. We were at Cousin Jimmy's, Ma.

874. She could've fuckin' died from her miscarriage.

875. Fuck her.

876. Was there any blame on his part?

877. This man you emulate?

878. The lies?

879. The betrayals with other women?

880. Listen to me.

881. This is very important.

882. Your mother had her faults, but after all this time,

883. what should we do with the old woman?

884. Have an auto-da-fé?

885. Burn her at the stake?

886. You need to forgive her and move on.

887. She made my father give my dog away.

888. I thought your father was a big, tough guy.

889. He probably didn't want to hear her bullshit anymore.

890. He gave my dog away to his girlfriend's kid.

891. Big fuckin' deal.

892. If it was up to her, she would have had it killed.

893. All right, thanks.

894. Book value's 17 grand.

895. I'll knock that off the principal.

896. I fucking love this car.

897. So you'll get another one.

898. Is that your sponsor?

899. I'll see you when you get out of rehab.

900. We'll figure out the rest of the payments.

901. You can do this, man. I have faith in you.

902. There's no chemical solution to a spiritual problem.

903. It could've been another TIA. It's hard to tell.

904. Was any of this accompanied by a lapse in memory?

905. I don't know.

906. Had you brought him in right away, I might have more answers.

907. That medicine stopped working.

908. I took more, and it didn't do shit.

909. I'm like the walking dead.

910. Medication's like cooking.

911. Sometimes we just need to adjust the ingredients.

912. Who gives a shit? I'm so fuckin' blue.

913. Well, what do you expect?

914. All you do is go to funerals all the time.

915. I'm trapped.

916. What's the goddamn point?

917. Goddamn house arrest.

918. My life is only death.

919. I'm living in a grave.

920. I beat prison, and for what?

921. I have no children.

922. Would somebody please explain this to me?

923. So, Hesh tells me you met your dad's goomah.

924. Yeah.

925. You had to see this woman in her prime.

926. Nice, huh?

927. Nice?

928. She was JFK's girlfriend for, like, three years.

929. No shit!

930. Right, I remember hearing about her.

931. Fucking knockout. Beautiful, classy.

932. JFK, huh?

933. How do you like that?

934. Yeah, he'd have her up to the White House

935. on the weekends, when his wife was out of town.

936. This woman was like a...

937. like a princess.

938. I'll tell you what.

939. For a while there,

940. Jackie Kennedy thought the marriage was over.