The Sopranos 2x12

1. Had some great naps on this settee.

2. You okay over there?

3. Shades of starving students, Santa Monica,

4. summer of'78.

5. You were a mover?

6. Yeah.

7. How many jobs you have in this lifetime?

8. Enough to know I don't want another one.

9. Jan, these floors have wonderful glide.

10. You're looking great, Rick.

11. Beautiful Juliet, beautiful.

12. Richie's son is still "flying down to Rio"?

13. Dad, must be proud as punch.

14. He is.

15. Those two were top ten in the embassy ball championships last year.

16. Ton', hey, man.

17. Jackie, how's your rash?

18. How you doin'?

19. You want a beer, T?

20. No, no, that's alright.

21. Go join your wastrel friends.

22. What's the matter?

23. Jackie Aprile was a man who loved knowledge.

24. When he was dying of the cancer, he was praying,

25. his son would go to medical school.

26. If he knew he dropped out of college, break his heart.

27. It didn't hurt the Beatles.

28. Bill gates.

29. His Uncle Richie's looking out for him.

30. Easier than dealing with his own son.

31. Hey Tony, don't do that.

32. Do you know he's taking AJ to the dirt bike championships at giant stadium?

33. Aj can't go.

34. He got a "c" in algebra.

35. Does carmela know about this?

36. Alright, you really want to know?

37. I don't want him around my kids.

38. Who, Richie?

39. You heard me.

40. What the fuck are you talking about?

41. The transmission slipped out of gear.

42. Richie's lucky he didn't get crushed by the car too.

43. And for your information,

44. Beansie Gaeta owed him major dollars for ten years

45. and Richie wasn't even asking for the interest.

46. Why not?

47. And if we're so awful,

48. why are you throwing us an engagement party?

49. 'Cause you're my sister, and I try to do what's right.

50. Anyway, it's my wife's thing.

51. What's right include planking that little Russian girl

52. of yours on the side?

53. You know what,

54. be in denial, be a co- dependent to a fucking shit- bag.

55. What the fuck do I care?

56. Your can't stand to see me happy, can you?

57. You motherfucker.

58. Take that settee and shove it up your ass.

59. I love my new pony boots, Tony.

60. Yeah, nice.

61. Why don't you wear them when you go on some of your interviews?

62. You call Sy Littman yet?

63. No, I'm doing it.

64. There's good money in modeling.

65. You don't want to spend the rest of your life

66. behind the perfume counter in a department store, do you?

67. What do you care what I do?

68. Don't start with the moody shit.

69. What is that?

70. "Chicken soup for the soul".

71. You should read "tomato sauce for your ass",

72. it's the Italian version.

73. Ha ha.

74. Why, you jealous?

75. You fucking him?

76. I can't have a conversation with you!

77. You're horrible.

78. It's a fucking question.

79. Maybe it's something you ought to think about.

80. What?

81. Finding somebody who can give you everything you want.

82. I told you he drives a fucking limo.

83. Not talking about those kind of things,

84. I'm talking about a family, marriage, children.

85. I don't want to find someone, I have you.

86. What, to take you out to dinner,

87. and screw your fucking brains out?

88. What the fuck's wrong with you?

89. Tony, no don't go.

90. You know, you don't know what the fuck you want.

91. Don't yell at me, please.

92. You know this is a bad time.

93. My new boss is so mean to me.

94. It's always a bad time with you.

95. With the cousins and the landlords.

96. Tony, no, please no!

97. Alright.

98. Rin', you know it hasn't been good for a long time.

99. For either of us.

100. Now, I'm worn out here.

101. I'll die without you.

102. No you won't, you'll forget about me in two weeks.

103. No, I'm telling you, if you go I'll kill myself.

104. Don't you fucking threaten me, Irina.

105. This is over, I can't do this any more.

106. I'm not gonna do it any more.

107. You talk to that guy about the modeling like I told you.

108. Take care of you until you get on your feet.

109. But I'm not doing this any more.

110. You understand?

111. I hate you!

112. So that's it.

113. Albert splits Nutley with the D'alessio brothers,

114. and Barone here keeps everything north of paterson.

115. What else we gotta talk about?

116. Fairfield township's taking bids next week

117. what's there to talk about?

118. Fairfield's mine.

119. Was yours.

120. I don't give bids to the handicapped.

121. See obviously, Richie, you're fucking deaf,

122. I told you ten times,

123. then I find out you're still dealing blow on those garbage routes.

124. For that I'm losing a fucking bid?

125. Next time you'll find yourself in the back of one of your trucks.

126. Those are my father's garbage routes.

127. Shh, kid.

128. Actually fellas,

129. my cousin Larry wants the Fairfield contract.

130. The hardship of his family and whatnot,

131. while he's in jail awaiting trial.

132. See, this is why we have a fixed bid club.

133. 'Cause everyone's got a story

134. about why they should go to head of line.

135. I've been in line for ten fucking years.

136. My Uncle is just asking for what my father would have given him,

137. if he was boss when Richie got out of prison.

138. It had nothing to do with they were brothers.

139. You respected my father, you should respect Richie.

140. Those who want respect give respect.

141. See, he just told you to shut the fuck up.

142. And he told me to go fuck myself.

143. This bill, Mel, Jesus.

144. I wish this fucking trial would happen already,

145. I'm hemorrhaging sponduliks here.

146. The minimization process could be very good for us, Corrado.

147. We hire experts to study the wiretap tapes.

148. Former bureau guys, very thorough.

149. If they find abuses, we take those findings to the judge,

150. and possibly have all the wiretap evidence thrown out.

151. That's fucking great.

152. I know the feds stay on the phone longer than the 20 seconds they're allowed

153. to see if the call is relevant,

154. I hear a click.

155. I could be talking about root beer,

156. and sometimes they stay on 40, 50 seconds before they hang up.

157. Pricks.

158. But it'll cost, the study.

159. How much?

160. 200- plus hours of tapes to analyze,

161. and I want to bring on specialized counsel,

162. to handle the wiretap litigation.

163. Ballpark figure?

164. Yeah, wrigley fucking field, for chrissake.

165. 400 thousand.

166. Did my nephew say where I'm allowed to move the coke?

167. He don't give a shit about nobody but himself.

168. This country's going through boom times,

169. there's more fucking garbage than there ever was

170. and he won't let me eat.

171. Now you wanna cry money problems?

172. I'm facing 20 years,

173. I could die in the fucking place.

174. You're gonna beat it, skip.

175. You don't fucking know that!

176. That coke is my lifeline right now.

177. Break it down, jun'.

178. What choice does he leave us?

179. You need allies to do what your thinking about.

180. Albert Barese didn't like what he was hearing.

181. And by extension Larry Barese,

182. biggest fucking crew in the family.

183. That doesn't surprise me.

184. Larry's had as much time as me

185. to think about why he's under indictment,

186. and some other people ain't.

187. So, what do you want me to do?

188. Go talk to alley boy, feel him out.

189. But he's a slippery fuck.

190. Don't commit.

191. I'll see you.

192. He's got tremendous moxie for his size.

193. Tell me about it.

194. He's a fighter.

195. What's this?

196. Open it.

197. I could see it's jw gold.

198. But we can't accept gifts, sal.

199. I'll pass it along to the guys at the fireman's home.

200. See, that right there,

201. you guys have a policy and it's fucking stuck to.

202. You don't get distracted.

203. Look what happened with those Egyptians,

204. those motherless world trade center fucks.

205. Serial numbers on an axle and you put everyone of them behind bars.

206. What the fuck is all this?

207. I owe you, skip.

208. The rest of my life, I'll never forget,

209. you looked the other way on that Bevilaqua beef.

210. What?

211. The bureau would never turn its head on a murder charge.

212. Alright, what else could you say at this point, right?

213. What do you know about scottsdale?

214. Arizona?

215. Yeah, I was thinking I would pick there to live,

216. when this assignment is over.

217. Assignment?

218. You know, when I'm in Witness Protection.

219. They got more than 300 days of sunshine, golf,

220. giant's spring training,

221. naturally, I'm talking about after I do my two years in Louisburg.

222. I been thinking about taking courses while I'm in the can,

223. psychology, criminology,

224. and maybe go give lectures at police departments on O. C.

225. That's an idea.

226. An airline ticket from the Scatino bust- out.

227. Tony made the guy order blocks of these things,

228. through the sporting goods store.

229. I'll put it on file.

230. You could use it as probable cause for a warrant, couldn't you?

231. Evidence of extortion, intent to defraud,

232. those are Rico predicates, right?

233. First you have to tie the ticket to Tony.

234. And he's too smart to use any of them himself.

235. He probably moved them by now.

236. However, this engagement party for the sister,

237. I'm gonna want to wire you up.

238. I know you're sensitive.

239. Ah fuck that.

240. What the fuck was I, his errand boy?

241. The saturn, yeah.

242. Running all over looking for his kid's science teacher's car.

243. What the fuck is that?

244. Any faith I had went out the window that very day.

245. It's gorgeous.

246. I know.

247. Are you out of your mind with all the arrangements?

248. My planner did Rick Cerone's wedding.

249. So, all I do is, I hand out money.

250. And I have his card for your.

251. Your father's disappeared and I ain't paying for something like that.

252. Oh, carmela.

253. Carmela, I love the new wallpaper.

254. Do you think I should do my den?

255. Hey, do you have that guy's number?

256. Hey T, you still got any of those airline tickets

257. you got from the Scatino bust- out?

258. Fucking creep.

259. Who, rich?

260. What happened to that man in the can?

261. Meadow, go help your mother.

262. You're in a little bit of denial there,

263. Richie was always a disturbed kid.

264. So Janice, I really don't have a shot any more?

265. Having a good fucking time?

266. Alright, what do you want me to say?

267. I'm sorry.

268. I'm glad for you.

269. You should have seen ma when we left the house.

270. She really wanted to be here.

271. Could we go back to the part where I was glad for you?

272. You don't give her a chance, Tony.

273. She's a completely different person,

274. since the doctors put her on Prozac.

275. Put her on what?

276. Janice!

277. You're not gonna believe this shit.

278. They got the old lady on Prozac.

279. She's changed, my ass.

280. She's just too senile to remember who she hates.

281. What's wrong with you today?

282. What do you care?

283. Yo Richie, speech.

284. C'mon, speech.

285. Everybody...

286. I want to thank my future in- laws for making a great party.

287. And I want to thank you all for coming,

288. and celebrating with us this historical union,

289. the Apriles and the sopranos.

290. They say it's never too late.

291. They say all good comes to those who wait.

292. They're right on both counts.

293. You got anything to add, little Ricky?

294. Glad for you, dad.

295. Aw.

296. Stepmom.

297. Thanks, Rick.

298. Umm...

299. okay, well I...

300. I just wanted to share my happiness with everybody here.

301. And I have been looking for my soulmate for all of my life.

302. Madonn, have I looked, right?

303. I don't know what made me think I was gonna find anybody halfway decent

304. in some ashram in pradesh.

305. But I found him, right here...

306. at home.

307. And I just wanted to say that you knock my socks off.

308. God bless, salute.

309. Yeah.

310. It was delicious agony.

311. Were you also pretending when I kissed you?

312. I got to go out.

313. Oh you're wonderful.

314. I'm ashamed of myself.

315. Yes, you ought to be, definitely.

316. Thank God, I'm home.

317. I'm in the shower, I almost didn't hear the phone.

318. She is drunk, she is crying.

319. She's took 20 sleeping pills.

320. What the fuck is she thinking?

321. Aw, it's not her fault.

322. Please.

323. Look at you, you got one leg, you don't behave like that.

324. Her parents, both of them were alcoholics in Petrozavodsk.

325. Horrible industrial city.

326. The father died 55 years old,

327. lung cancer, cirrhosis of the liver.

328. Probably good thing anyway, he was not working.

329. The factory was closed down.

330. She had to go to Kazakhstan

331. to live with Uncle, crude, miserable man.

332. Jesus Christ, rin'.

333. I don't care no more what happen.

334. Don't say that shit.

335. You got your whole life ahead of you.

336. So sorry, Tony.

337. The ambulance, emergency room, how she gonna pay?

338. You think they give her medical insurance

339. at that department store she works in?

340. I'll take care of it.

341. What kind of life is there for me without you, Tony?

342. To go back to "Bada Bing"?

343. To be a dancer?

344. Be a prostitute after that?

345. I don't want to.

346. I don't want to.

347. Alright, shh shh shh.

348. Everything's gonna be alright.

349. Okay?

350. It's gonna be alright, shh.

351. Perfect.

352. Oh God.

353. Look at that cleavage.

354. Oh thank you, Jesus.

355. You know, I'm only doing this for the presents.

356. Well, I'm doing it for Richie.

357. He says he'd rather go to Vegas,

358. but you gotta do the ritual thing right?

359. This is such a happy time.

360. All the flowers, all the excitement.

361. I remember how I felt.

362. Then there's honeymoon, and the hope chest.

363. You're working overtime here, carmela.

364. Remember how radiant I looked walking down that aisle?

365. You're depressed, aren't you?

366. Depressed? No, I leave that to others.

367. I'm just being realistic.

368. 'Cause in a year tops,

369. you're gonna have to accept a gumar.

370. Oh yeah?

371. Well, I'd like to see a gumar,

372. that's gonna let him hold a gun to her when they fuck.

373. You let him hold a gun to your head during sex?

374. Yeah well, if that gets him off.

375. It's not different than garter belts and nurse's uniforms.

376. Well, it's a gun.

377. I thought you were a feminist.

378. Usually he takes the clip out.

379. Well, Jesus, I hope so.

380. It's a ritual.

381. It's fetishistic, that's all.

382. My 3- 0- 2s from last week.

383. Sure, c'mon in.

384. Happy Birthday chief.

385. Thanks.

386. From Tony soprano.

387. Never misses an occasion.

388. Christmas, Columbus day.

389. Have something to eat,

390. before I send it to St. Ambroseus shelter.

391. My cw on that just gave me a bottle of Johnny Walker.

392. Cw 16?

393. Bonpensiero, yeah.

394. Fucking guy thinks I'm his friend now.

395. I know we're not supposed to accept gifts,

396. and I know poor people are gonna get this,

397. but I can't resist the lard bread.

398. He's turned some corner.

399. One minute he's talking about how much he loves Tony soprano.

400. And in the next breath he's a junior g- man.

401. Talking about Rico predicates and probable cause.

402. All of a sudden we're the good guys.

403. The worst case of Stockholm syndrome I seen since Patty hearst.

404. That was sad.

405. I tell you though,

406. I'm kind of worried about sal with these fantasies of law enforcement.

407. These things can work two ways, skip.

408. You can find yourself getting too close.

409. So, you getting married,

410. settling down, huh?

411. One door opens, another door closes.

412. It's a fucking expensive proposition though.

413. I didn't need that shit that happened the other day.

414. You don't need that shit that happened the other day.

415. You talk to the king of dermabrasion about what went down?

416. I'm talking to him,

417. and he's looking at his reflection in the plexiglas.

418. Imagine getting a facelift,

419. one week later you're in jail.

420. Can you imagine that,

421. you get a facelift and one week later you're in jail?

422. Anyway...

423. I had the feeling you didn't like what you were hearing.

424. I already expected to get fucked out of that bid.

425. Now that's a sad commentary.

426. Richie, what's Larry gonna do?

427. The fucking guy's a guest of the government.

428. While some people are stuffing themselves.

429. Some people are out there stuffing themselves.

430. Only Larry's got a trial coming up.

431. He's in no position to go into the unknown not knowing.

432. How about you, Albert?

433. Weigh in anytime.

434. I'm with him.

435. All things being equal?

436. No.

437. Make a move against Tony soprano?

438. No way.

439. I don't know what to tell you.

440. Vic.

441. Carmela, hi.

442. Imagine running into you here.

443. How are you?

444. I'm good, I'm fine.

445. And how are you?

446. Good.

447. Just shopping for a roller.

448. Look, Vic, truthfully.

449. I'm not just running into you here.

450. I saw the name of the store on your supplies,

451. I wanted to talk to you.

452. Carmela, I'm sorry I should've called you that day.

453. Please, you have nothing to be sorry for.

454. I should have told you I wasn't coming for lunch.

455. That's alright, I got the message when you didn't show up.

456. And that's why I wanted to talk to you.

457. I wanted to thank you.

458. For what?

459. Maybe someday I will be free.

460. But if you had come that day,

461. I might have done something

462. that I would be sorry for forever.

463. And so I wanted to thank you for thinking for the both of us.

464. For being strong for the both of us.

465. Thank you.

466. Well, you're welcome.

467. So goodbye, Vic.

468. And take care of yourself.

469. Thank Christ.

470. Jesus.

471. You know who she's married to?

472. I need you to give me the number of a good shrink.

473. Oh?

474. It's for a girl I was seeing.

475. What?

476. "Was"?

477. Yeah, I broke up with her and she tried to kill herself.

478. This was no small cuttings.

479. 20 halcyon and a quart of vodka.

480. And the fucking ambulance, they pumped her stomach.

481. Cost me three grand.

482. She should have been seen by the psychiatrist in the hospital.

483. He was a Romanian,

484. and they have some beef that goes back centuries

485. and she wouldn't talk to him.

486. Do you feel responsible for her suicide attempt?

487. I was banging her for two years.

488. Was that a hardship on her?

489. That's cute.

490. You know how many women I've been through?

491. I don't know why I just don't say fuck it with this one.

492. Why do you think?

493. She's a sweet kid underneath it all.

494. And I think she's seriously depressed.

495. You feel for her?

496. I'm interested in why you're ending it.

497. What do you mean, why?

498. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

499. Aren't you telling me that all the time in here?

500. I don't think I've ever passed judgment,

501. on your sex life,

502. or any patient's sex life.

503. Even if I'm 20 years older than her and I'm married?

504. What's wrong with you?

505. Why now?

506. Why now?

507. Because, it's not fun any more.

508. Okay, are you gonna recommend somebody or not?

509. He's eating lunch.

510. So?

511. Larry's out.

512. Aw shit, fuck.

513. I knew it, I fucking knew it.

514. Here Bobby, take this, I can't.

515. Larry and Albert are not the problem.

516. It's Tony that's the fucking problem.

517. You take him out of the picture,

518. and believe me, everybody's gonna come along.

519. Where else are they gonna go?

520. I'm sick.

521. And fucking Larry Barese too.

522. I got friends in federal holding that would like nothing better

523. than to take that weak fuck out.

524. He was a great friend to my father,

525. but he doesn't care who he follows now.

526. I'd do him myself.

527. Who's that speaking here?

528. Is somebody speaking?

529. Listen, Richie,

530. let me think about this awhile.

531. We can't be too fucked up by this setback.

532. We gotta screw our courage to the post.

533. You're a good boy, Richie.

534. It's gonna be good.

535. Go on home, we'll talk.

536. Fucking guy's fearless for his size.

537. That's nice.

538. Then what?

539. He fucking dies,

540. I can't even wear his shoes.

541. What the fuck you talking about?

542. Fucking loser.

543. He couldn't sell it.

544. Richie?

545. Pay attention, you just may learn something here.

546. Who am I best off with?

547. We best off with?

548. Old man Profaci knew how to split his enemies.

549. He couldn't fucking sell it.

550. He's not respected.

551. But Tony, with his impulsiveness and selfishness,

552. he's locked up in that fucking head of his.

553. I'm better off with Tony.

554. Definitely.

555. I wanna see Anthony at the doctor's office tomorrow.

556. What are you looking at?

557. I'm in awe of you.

558. The dow Jones industrial average gave back all of an earlier gain.

559. It rallied more than 100 points midday,

560. in the end it fell two and a half to close at 10, 675...

561. hard at work?

562. It's financial news.

563. What the fuck you doing here?

564. The NASDAQ is now in a...

565. I got a line on a car for Adrianna.

566. You want anything? They got sodas, coffee.

567. I got a bottle in the drawer.

568. Nah, I'm good.

569. How's it going?

570. This racket?

571. We dumped webistics and whacked up the payoff.

572. Fucking license to steal.

573. Anything you can get me into?

574. A pharmaceutical.

575. They got a root from the Amazon,

576. cures glaucoma, it's all fucking bullshit.

577. I got a brochure.

578. Oh tonight, puss.

579. I got something hard edge.

580. What?

581. Pokemon cards.

582. Me and Tommy Mac are taking down a truckload.

583. Yeah, where?

584. Tommy knows, you in?

585. What, me?

586. Yeah, c'mon, old times.

587. You don't want a fat fuck like me around.

588. I can't find the brochure.

589. Anyway, what difference does it make?

590. You come in for five, ten grand on this drug company,

591. by the time we dump the piece of shit

592. you'll be in six figure territory.

593. Hey, puss?

594. Yeah.

595. The fucking car?

596. What car?

597. Oh, yeah, right.

598. For Adriana.

599. It's an m3 convertible, clean.

600. I'll keep you posted.

601. And not even the big deal...

602. you're kidding, excuse me.

603. Lipari.

604. This is fat man.

605. Who?

606. You know.

607. Sal?

608. I just heard about they're gonna Jack a load of pokemon cards.

609. Moltisanti and another individual.

610. Good, where?

611. I don't know yet.

612. I should ascertain, right?

613. Excuse me, dear?

614. You're a cooperating witness, sal.

615. You wear a wire, that's what you do.

616. So ask around, see what you can find out.

617. But I, in no way want you going along in any hijack.

618. You hear me?

619. We let you earn, but no violent crimes, right?

620. Okay.

621. Get out of here, I hate you, you fucking bastard!

622. Fucking mood swings.

623. Was very bad day for her.

624. Yeah, when isn't?

625. I went to modeling agency like you told me.

626. I waited four hours to see Mr. Littman.

627. So?

628. Wasn't good.

629. She didn't get a job, big deal.

630. Well, you gotta start somewhere.

631. I went in to see him, and he told me I am too old.

632. Oh, Jesus.

633. I'm sorry.

634. I go make the tea.

635. I told you.

636. I told you, it's all over for me.

637. No it's not, you're gonna be fine.

638. Listen, I got the number of a guy I want you to talk to.

639. I don't want to go to no more fucking interviews.

640. It's not...

641. it's not an interview, it's a shrink.

642. A shrink.

643. Yeah, psychiatrist.

644. I know what is.

645. He comes highly recommended,

646. you're gonna feel better if you talk to him.

647. I am not going to no shrink.

648. Yeah you are, 'cause it's what I want you to do.

649. You're not the boss of me.

650. Okay.

651. You know what?

652. Go fuck yourself then.

653. 'Cause I'm trying to be a nice guy,

654. went through a lot of trouble to get that number.

655. So he can send me to hospital, lock me up?

656. Psychiatrist is very scary thing for Russian,

657. means being sent to gulag, political rehabilitation.

658. This is too fucked up for me.

659. What?

660. Kiss off then.

661. Janice, how do you open this advil?

662. Oh, nevermind...

663. dad, I'm gonna get started on your gutters tomorrow.

664. That's great, kid.

665. Richie, you gotta take a look at this.

666. I picked it up yesterday at Kuchensystems.

667. It's very bauhaus.

668. And it's not bad, the basics cost 20 thousand.

669. Janice, maybe you should slow down on the spending for the time being.

670. Something wrong?

671. What happened?

672. I'm gonna take care of it.

673. But things could get fucked up for a while.

674. Richie, if something's happening to you,

675. then it's happening to me.

676. Decision went against me,

677. which impacts me a great deal financially.

678. Fuck! Fuck I knew it!

679. This shit with your brother.

680. It's been building since I got out.

681. You give him a jacket you treasure and gives it

682. to his fucking polack maid.

683. But we're still going ahead with everything at the house, right?

684. We'll see.

685. Richie, they'll tiling the pool on Friday.

686. And the atrium window, I'm gonna lose the deposit.

687. I said I'm gonna take care of it.

688. He just can't handle that our house

689. is gonna be nicer than his fucking house.

690. Fuck.

691. What's the matter with you?

692. Nothing.

693. What?

694. Nothing.

695. It's just sad, that's all.

696. What?

697. AJ didn't have the flu.

698. He didn't go with you because Tony wouldn't let him.

699. He doesn't want you around his kids.

700. What happened? What was that?

701. Searchlight diner,

702. 5:15 A. M., subject has still not left location.

703. Sun coming up.

704. 5:16 A.M. Subjects departing searchlight diner.

705. Soprano residence.

706. Is Tony there?

707. May I ask who's calling?

708. Just put him on.

709. Who is calling please?

710. What are you, that Polish maid? I want to talk to Tony.

711. It's for you.

712. Hello.

713. Tony.

714. I miss you.

715. I love you.

716. You got the wrong fucking number.

717. Don't call here again.

718. I'll wait out there.

719. Who was that, your little Russian girlfriend?

720. Listen, it's over between us.

721. It has been for a very long time.

722. Bullshit.

723. Why does your clothes still stink of perfume?

724. Okay, I saw her, but it's not what you think.

725. She tried to commit suicide.

726. Oh fuck you.

727. I broke it off with her and she tried to kill herself,

728. she said she didn't want to go on without me.

729. The poor kid.

730. You're putting me in a position,

731. where I'm feeling sorry for a whore who fucks you?

732. You know what's stranger? For a second I believed you.

733. Goddamn him.

734. They're all the same, Carm.

735. No, they're not.

736. That man who did my wallpaper,

737. there was a male person that you could respect...

738. Victor Musto?

739. Carmela, he didn't show up that day,

740. because of who your husband is.

741. Face it, use your head.

742. He pissed his pants.

743. I don't want to go to the gym.

744. Better be good.

745. I'm in the middle of world war III over there.

746. When you're lying in the street in a pool of your own blood,

747. don't say your Uncle didn't try to tell you.

748. What are you talking about?

749. Richie Aprile is moving against you.

750. He doesn't have the balls.

751. He's got a legitimate beef with you.

752. You're fucking high- handed with everybody.

753. Why don't you stick to what you know,

754. and leave your opinions wherever the fuck?

755. He approached Albert Barese.

756. And Albert said no.

757. Albert told you this?

758. No, I got it from Richie himself at my house yesterday.

759. He's gonna take you out and Larry Barese,

760. and anybody else who doesn't go along.

761. Alright, wait a minute.

762. Why the fuck is Richie telling you all this?

763. He thinks I'm with him.

764. Really?

765. What gave him that idea?

766. It's what I wanted him to believe.

767. I've been playing him.

768. I seen this coming all along.

769. That's why I made a big deal of that coke.

770. I raised a non- issue and he fell for it.

771. So you're like a double agent now, huh?

772. Fucking Matt helm?

773. Fuck you.

774. How do I know you're not playing me?

775. Believe what you want, my little nephew.

776. If I didn't come to you,

777. your fucking wife would be a widow

778. and your children wouldn't have no father.

779. So go fuck yourself.

780. Alright, stop.

781. I'm grateful to you.

782. I am.

783. I gave you five percent on the action that was left to you.

784. Kick it up to seven and a half.

785. But don't sell drugs on those routes.

786. It's shortsighted.

787. You know that asshole's marrying my sister?

788. You got to wonder where she is in all of this.

789. My little niece.

790. What's up, T?

791. My future brother- in- law's causing a serious problem.

792. How serious?

793. He's not satisfied with the current leadership.

794. He wants to have me popped.

795. That motherfucker.

796. So now I gotta decide what to do about him.

797. I genuinely don't think,

798. there's anything to gain by keeping him around.

799. Get it done.

800. Oh, and the planner checked the almanac

801. and he said there's a 65* historical chance of rain on the 12th.

802. So he wants to get a tent for backup,

803. what do you think?

804. I can't decide on shit like that.

805. Janice, c'mon.

806. Okay, but when you start bitching

807. when you see the bill, don't.

808. My kid hit me up for five grand to go to england

809. for these dance contests.

810. Little Ricky's still coming to the wedding, right?

811. Rick, Rick.

812. Richard.

813. How many fucking times I gotta tell you?

814. It was "little Ricky" when he was 12 years old.

815. Jesus, alright.

816. He's still coming, right?

817. He wouldn't miss an opportunity,

818. to fucking foxtrot and tango in front of everybody.

819. Ballroom dancing is a legitimate art form.

820. Carries my name, Richard.

821. Fucking disgraziata.

822. My nephew Jackie,

823. why couldn't I have a son like that?

824. You know, you came home with a fucking attitude today.

825. You know, I've been in this house,

826. cooking your fucking dinner

827. and taking care of that fucking black hole upstairs all day.

828. Keep your fucking voice down, she hears everything.

829. Not tonight.

830. I gave her two nembutols,

831. I thought maybe we'd want to have sex?

832. But not likely.

833. Put my fucking dinner on the table,

834. and keep your mouth shut.

835. No, you shut up.

836. Just because he's a ballroom dancer you think your son is gay.

837. What if he was gay, what difference does it make?

838. Ow.

839. Fuck.

840. What are you looking at?

841. You gonna cry now?

842. Get the fuck out of here,

843. I'm in no mood for your dramat...

844. where is everybody?

845. AJ is upstairs, meadow's out.

846. You better get it.

847. Maybe she slit the other wrist.

848. Hello.

849. Tony!

850. I need you!

851. I need you to come over now!

852. Okay?

853. What's the matter?

854. Is it ma?

855. No, no.

856. Tell me what happened.

857. No I can't, say.

858. What do you mean you can't say?

859. I can't say now.

860. Think, think a minute, okay?

861. Just stay right there, I'm gonna be right over.

862. It's Janice.

863. Right.

864. I got to go.

865. Janice.

866. Ton'?

867. He hit me.

868. It was an accident.

869. Baby.

870. Where's ma?

871. She's upstairs.

872. Out, she took two nembutols.

873. Ma?

874. I didn't mean it, Tony.

875. I didn't mean it.

876. Where's the gun?

877. In the cabinet.

878. If anybody called this in or there's any shit about this,

879. you don't got to talk to anybody.

880. What are you doing?

881. Take a shower.

882. Give me the clothes and shoes you got on.

883. Okay.

884. What the fuck?

885. They got away.

886. What did I tell you, huh?

887. What did I tell you?

888. I didn't go with them,

889. I was following them to the boost

890. and then I was gonna call you.

891. What if they would've spotted you?

892. The Moltisanti kid and his friend.

893. What was your plan for that?

894. That was the beauty part.

895. I didn't even use my own car.

896. I switched with my son.

897. You hit a fucking 7- 11 clerk.

898. How is he?

899. In a coma.

900. Fuck.

901. They were gonna pinch you for leaving the scene,

902. but I got you out of it.

903. I owe you, again.

904. Sal, listen to me.

905. No, look at me.

906. Look up.

907. You are not an FBI employee, sal.

908. Okay, that's not gonna happen.

909. But I got a lot to offer.

910. And I hate I. C. N.

911. I know I misspent most of my life, I know that.

912. I know fucking a- well, we live in a society of laws.

913. Sal.

914. You are gonna help us build a case against Tony soprano.

915. And then you're gonna do your time for selling heroin.

916. And then you get out and start a new life.

917. It's a good thing.

918. It's a lucky thing.

919. Sal.

920. Don't be that way.

921. I can show you statistics.

922. Whoa.

923. I know.

924. We don't got time for that now.

925. Get him out of here.

926. Get rid of him.

927. Bring his car to the salvage crusher.

928. Cadillac.

929. I'll get something.

930. Hello.

931. Where you goin' Tony?

932. Tony, please.

933. Don't go.

934. I'll be right back.

935. We got to speed this up.

936. You know what time these humps come in for work.

937. Fucking meat delivery at five A. M.

938. We're almost done.

939. It's gonna be a while before I eat anything from Satriale's.

940. Uh, okay.

941. Get a hose, start to wash the room.

942. Janice, is that you down there?

943. What are you doing up so early?

944. Ma, go back to bed.

945. I just don't know what happened to me.

946. I had the strangest dreams all night long.

947. People coming and going.

948. Coming and going.

949. I couldn't get up off the bed.

950. Tony, Tony.

951. Anthony, what are you doing here?

952. C'mon Janice, let's go.

953. Richie didn't come home last night, she's worried about him.

954. Oh sure, he probably jilted her.

955. That's the story of her life.

956. What kind of a fucking chance did she have,

957. with you as her mother?

958. You were always nagging her about her weight.

959. She goes on a date, she comes home,

960. you call her a fucking tramp.

961. I'm gonna wait out in the car.

962. I never said anything of the kind.

963. I heard you.

964. You make things up.

965. You tell me,

966. you tell me when I ever did anything to any of you.

967. You don't know, do you?

968. You don't have a fucking clue.

969. I wasn't always perfect,

970. but I always tried to do the best I could.

971. And I know you didn't, any of you, didn't like it

972. when I tried to tell you what to do.

973. Babies are like animals.

974. They're no different than dogs.

975. Somebody has to teach'em right from wrong.

976. But I was your mother, who else was gonna do it?

977. If you ask me, I did a pretty damn good job.

978. That palace you live in, up there on that hill.

979. I gave my life to my children on a silver platter.

980. I suppose now you're not gonna kiss me.

981. What?

982. You're cruel.

983. That's what you are.

984. Oh, fuck this.

985. Oh...

986. how you doing, hon?

987. Who send you, Tony?

988. Yeah, he asked me to bring you this.

989. What is it, money?

990. I don't want it.

991. Yes, you do.

992. 75, 000 dollars in here.

993. 75?

994. Listen, Irina I know you're upset.

995. Let me give you a little advice.

996. In my business I see girls come and go.

997. So I know.

998. Time is the great enemy.

999. You have a very short window.

1000. It's not good to get too hung up on any one thing.

1001. On the other hand,

1002. something new always comes along.

1003. I've seen it a million times, it's called "passages".

1004. It's a book.

1005. He's right.

1006. He's very smart man.

1007. Thanks.

1008. You're welcome.

1009. I'm not gonna forget this, Tony.

1010. I owe you.

1011. God, do I owe you.

1012. All and all though, I'd say it was a pretty good visit.

1013. What's wrong with our family Tony?

1014. I go to a shrink.

1015. She says that our mother is a narcissistic personality.

1016. Why she turned out that way who the fuck knows?

1017. Grandpa vito was no prize as a father.

1018. That's not all the shrink says.

1019. She says that ma is a person

1020. who was incapable of experiencing joy.

1021. And dad, all he did was experience joy.

1022. Richie told me you were going to a shrink.

1023. I used to suggest it and you'd blow your sack at me.

1024. Maybe you ought to think about it.

1025. You know, go back into therapy.

1026. What'd you do with him?

1027. We buried him...

1028. on a hill

1029. overlooking a little river,

1030. with pine cones all around.

1031. You did?

1032. C'mon Janice, what the fuck?

1033. What do you care what we did with him, huh?

1034. You want to know?

1035. I loved him so much.

1036. You're gonna miss your bus.

1037. I'm sorry.

1038. I'm sorry.

1039. Alright, go ahead.

1040. Meadow, you have a ups, it's up in your room.

1041. What are you doing in here?

1042. You've been gone all night.

1043. Half the morning,

1044. what the hell happened over there?

1045. Janice decided to go back to Seattle.

1046. You're kidding.

1047. Well, what about Richie? He must be devastated.

1048. Richie's gone.

1049. What do you mean, gone?

1050. Gone.

1051. Where?

1052. Carmela, after 18 years of marriage,

1053. don't make me make you an accessory after the fact.

1054. An accessory after the...

1055. holy shit!

1056. Stop asking.

1057. Oh, my God.

1058. Oh, my God.

1059. I took care of it.

1060. That...

1061. that was not a marriage made in heaven.

1062. What's all this?

1063. After meadow's graduation,

1064. me and Rosalie Aprile are going to Rome.

1065. For three weeks.

1066. Excuse me?

1067. We're gonna stay at the hassler,

1068. shop,

1069. and try and see the holy father.

1070. What are people gonna say, you take off for three weeks?

1071. You're gonna have to chauffeur AJ around to his dentist and whatnot.

1072. And you've got to find a tennis clinic,

1073. for meadow to join.

1074. Because if I have to do it, Tony,

1075. I just might commit suicide.